I've been looking for a reaction to this song where a man acknowledged it made him think. I'm late to the party. A 60ish white guy married 25+ years who happened to watch Taylor's NPR Tiny Desk set and found this song (short version). I've watched so many reaction videos. The ones with young women holding hands while they listen to the long version for the first time, terrified, knowing it will stab them with sadness. Your reaction video is the first one by a man that said it made him look in the mirror. I appreciate that. The song and the reaction videos with real emotions has me wondering what I can do better.
My favorite thing is watching men REALLY listen to her the first time. You hit so many nails on the head. Thank you SO MUCH for your genuine reaction. -from someone who's loved her since '06.
“It’s almost like her music forces me to look in the mirror sometimes.” Man, you just got the nail on the head right there. I honestly think that’s a big part of why a lot of men won’t even give her a chance. Because enough people say that exactly and since she’s talking about her break ups as a heterosexual woman, she’s talking about men. That can be super confronting, especially when you’ve been taught toxic masculinity.
I can’t remember where I read this but it has stuck with me. “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think of it every time I hear the lyric “so casually cruel in the name of being honest.”
@@brutustantheiii8477I hope most men don’t feel that way. Of course, any virtue taken to an extreme can make a person of any gender a doormat. But this idea that it’s emasculating to ever be compassionate is so destructive. Women in fact look to see men be compassionate at least in moments when it’s really called for. A man incapable of compassion is a toxic bully.
Swifties: I know you will get this. One of the reasons Taylor’s songs are so powerful are that the stories are so specific and personal that you just know they really happened to her. Yet, at the same time, they are universal- they speak to experiences we have all had. We’ve all had that fight where he tosses the car keys; we’ve all kept that one thing that smells like our lover. That scene where they are dancing in the kitchen- that’s that good memory that hurts way worse than any of the bad ones because you know you can never get that feeling back. That one hits me the worst because I relate so hard. It’s like she found just the right words to describe what happened to ME. (To all of us.). This is a perfect song.
“Casually cruel in the name of being honest” is a great lyric. The truth can be delivered with sensitivity, not cruelly and then say…I’m just telling you the truth. No, you’re just being mean is what you want to say! Great song and reaction! Keep up the good work!
This song took me back 30 years into the past during an abusive relationship. I lived that lyric that goes "and I'd forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to". After a narcissist hurts you and abuses you they come back and "hoover" you. Drawing you back into that manipulative relationship with them again telling you they have changed. Then after you give them another chance they start the same gaslighting, abusive, manipulative behavior. Thats where that song took me.
same here, the whiplash when i first heard it was Intense. The line that struck me the hardest though was "just between us did the love affair maim you too?" cause like ... sometimes you do wonder if they remember
She has always said that she’s a songwriter who gets to sing her own songs. Not a singer that writes her own songs. She sees the truth of people like any great storyteller would.
"Casually cruel in the name of being honest" is my favorite line! So many exes have used the "im just being honest" excuse to ignore the affect their choices have on others. As if being honest is a shield that means no one is allowed to be upset by what they say. And that their need to be honest is always the most important aspect of every conversation. Death by a Thousand Cuts or Cardigan are great if you want to explore more top-tier lyrics
Jake Gyllenhal was in Jarhead (which is about Marines) but the line "soldier returning half her weight" is also referencing her fighting her ED, which she has talked about publicly before.
I always thought it was about how she was carrying the weight of the relationship because he wasn’t invested in it and when they broke up she went through a battle to get over that heartbreak. So she came back from battle at half her weight (as in minus him).
The exact lyric is "so casually cruel in the name of being honest". And it's brilliant in more ways than one, but the word 'casually' brings a lot to the table for the meaning of this particular line. Cause that tells us that it's not just that he's cruel, it tells us that it's EASY for him, this cruelty comes easily to him, it's casual, it's a normal thing. It tells us this behavior isn't an exception, it's something that happens regularly enough that he's casual about it. And that hurts so much worse sometimes. (I watch a lot of English Teacher KP, she's awesome).
Okay but hear me out.. you said it was a masterpiece, in which you are absolutely correct. But if you want masterpiece to the next level, watch the short film she directed and made to this. It's insane !! Also the lyrics you were looking for were "and you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest." -- From the girls perspective this is so hurtful, dont be this guy lol
Or a cruelly honest girl either. Listening to Taylor has made me reflect on being the problematic a hole in a lot of my past relationships. Behaving a lot like some of the men she's described. I like to think I have gotten better and matured in how I treat people.
What struck me most is that the song is about heartbreak we can all understand, but it’s also a very personal song in that Jake will DEFINITELY know every single thing she’s talking. “Just between you and me…”
You nailed it! I've been waiting for an honest male take on All Too Well and I've heard many, but You got it! Thank You. Yes, this song is many things including a Master class to men on human behavior, not "male" behavior, human behavior.
"You call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest I'm crumbled up piece of paper lying here." That lyric hits so many people HARD!!!!!
I think you just nailed why some men "hate Taylor Swift": she sings from a women's viewpoint, and some men feel attacked by that. That being said, she is singing here about a narcissist, and you by definition are NOT a narcissist, because narcissists have no ability to look inward and examine their behavior. Thank you for being introspective and more importantly just recognizing this masterpiece. It turns out that a person doesn't have to look like Bob Marley, Jon Batiste, or Paul McCartney to be a musical genius; young, pretty women can be musical geniuses too. 😉
Death By A Thousand Cuts...live in Paris... or We Are Never Getting Back Together 1989 Tour Live...❤'d your reaction...the emotions of what you are hearing show clearly on your face...you felt it...
This was one of the most enjoyable reactions. It's always nice to see a man react to Taylor with honesty & emotion. There is so much to unpack in this song, and your connection to the lyrics was palpable. There's a lot of toxic masculinity to blame for men not liking Taylor Swift, and it's refreshing to see you reject that and connect emotionally to the song. You're right -- her music is like therapy - it holds up a mirror and makes you feel your feelings. As for a few live performances: Lover in Paris concert (Cornelia Street, Death By a Thousand Cuts, Daylight) Grammy Museum 2015 - (Blank Space, Wildest Dreams, and Out of the Woods) Super Saturday Night concert (all of it but particularly Holy Ground & I Don't Wanna Live Forever (acoustic) Folklore Long Pond Sessions I'm going to go binge the rest of your Taylor reactions now. ❤
That's sweet... " She'll sleep on the floor if you don't have anything." Such an insightful, delicate, and true thing to say about a loving woman. You made my day sir!
Bro, I could see your pain trying to hear that line just one more time..."So casually cruel in the name of being honest". It's my favorite, and I think a lot of other folks' as well. :-) Viewers are gonna watch your whole reaction just to hear that line again with you! ;-) Great reaction.
Taylor directed and produced a short video movie to this song and you should watch that. She personally picked which actors she wanted and personally coached them and it’s just really something I think you would enjoy.
This was a favorite of mine years ago after Red came out, before we knew of a 10 minute version. There were definitely times crying in the shower to this song several years ago when I was going through my own breakup. 😅 but hasn’t everyone? 😆 She’s just such an excellent story teller and masterful lyricist, creating vivid imagery and causing a visceral reaction in the listener with songs like this.
So I'm a long time swiftie here 🖐🏻 love the reviews so far! I loved how you described her songwriting as a movie and have to tell you (if someone else hasn't already) that she made a MOVIE of All Too Well (it's about 15 minutes taylor wrote more instrumental music for it) Aside from that, I'd recommend Cold As You as a song from her first album it's track 5 and it's incredibly emotionally and poetically well written imo but all her music is good imo so i'm a little biased lol
Beautiful breakdown! Appreciate the honesty because I think it can go both ways. This song breaks my heart but it is one of my favorites. The fact that she performs this every night on her Eras Tour is so impressive.
I really love your commentary. A lot of people just react to the song but I truly love seeing the connections you make to life and other aspects outside of music.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts about being on the good side of her next song; truly, that was beautiful. Thank you. All of us need to be nurtured, and if you can't do that for the person you are with, or even the opposite where you can't do that for someone you are with, then gently close the relationship so both of you can find the person that makes you a better person.
This song reminds me of a past love., he almost got a ticket looking at me. The cop that pulled him over told him to look at the road instead of looking at me. We ended because his parents didn’t like my religion. It was the saddest day of my life up until that point. 45 years and two marriages ago and I still remember his face.
The song "Would've, Could've, Should've" almost broke her, and the trauma is with her even now, and a lot of that trauma is gently dropped in a number of her songs. That one is about John Meyer and taking the girl from her that she had first.
Thank you for your reaction! For her live performances, my faves are "Out of the Woods" from her 1989 World Tour, "Dear John" from the Speak Now World Tour, and for a piano performance that's really pretty, "Holy Ground" in the BBC live lounge. You will find all of these on UA-cam. ☺️
17:29 you’re absolutely right. This song just popped up for me and it made me break down crying. This situation is one Im currently in… the only thing from not leaving is my love for my son and the IDEA of having the “American Dream Family”. Having both parents is a big thing for me…so instead Im fighting My OWN emotions… this song came and that door finally opened😭😭. I’m trying. I’m fighting. I’m trying… I’m crying💔
"I'm a soldier returning half her weight" could both refer to the movie Source Code, but it could also refer to the fact that the break up caused a resurgence of her anorexia.
Call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest.....(sung on a key change). Yes, this is the song's epicenter.
It's hard to go wrong with any live performances, it just depends what you like. If you want just Taylor and an instrument she has an NPR Tiny Desk concert on UA-cam. If you prefer the big flashy concert spectacle the reputation stadium tour is on Netflix and there are clips of the 1989 world tour on UA-cam. Also the Eras Tour digital rental drops 12/13. So you have lots of options. There are also clips of her songwriting process and behind the scenes on her music videos if any of that interests you.
New to the channel, you should definitely check out the short film version of this song which Taylor directed. It's nice to hear someone be so honest and reflecting on themselves.
I feel like it has both a literal and metaphorical meaning. Like an older man basically manipulating a young woman, not seeing her as a whole person IS patriarchal. He is depicted as being performative so i could see the keychain line killing 2 birds with 1 stone
My take on it was that he had the "f the patriarchy" keychain as a good show, something he didn't really believe as he casually threw it in the dirt for her to pick up, also showing that he didn't really value her enough to put it in her hand.
I've been looking for a reaction to this song where a man acknowledged it made him think. I'm late to the party. A 60ish white guy married 25+ years who happened to watch Taylor's NPR Tiny Desk set and found this song (short version). I've watched so many reaction videos. The ones with young women holding hands while they listen to the long version for the first time, terrified, knowing it will stab them with sadness. Your reaction video is the first one by a man that said it made him look in the mirror. I appreciate that. The song and the reaction videos with real emotions has me wondering what I can do better.
I did NOT have Taylor Swift joining my Eminem playlist on my 2023 bingo card. So thankful my fav reaction channels have made me see her genius. ❤
That's awesome! That variety is key 🔑.
U know what taylor swift is s fan of eminem so she is witty with her lyrics or I might add bar lol 😆 😜
@@parkchithung2672 oh Taylor definitely has bars ❤️🔥
You should look up when she covered one shot on her fearless tour she loved Eminem lol
I adore this comment!
She deserves a Nobel prize for poetry, she’s that brilliant.
My favorite thing is watching men REALLY listen to her the first time. You hit so many nails on the head. Thank you SO MUCH for your genuine reaction. -from someone who's loved her since '06.
“It’s almost like her music forces me to look in the mirror sometimes.”
Man, you just got the nail on the head right there. I honestly think that’s a big part of why a lot of men won’t even give her a chance. Because enough people say that exactly and since she’s talking about her break ups as a heterosexual woman, she’s talking about men. That can be super confronting, especially when you’ve been taught toxic masculinity.
F.A.C.T.S.
Men and women are all forced to the mirror on this one
I had a man tell me I am his “jake gyllenhaal” after the 10 minute version came out…. Was a huge mirror moment as a Swiftie 🥲
🏃🏻♀💨@@brittany6901
I can’t remember where I read this but it has stuck with me. “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” I think of it every time I hear the lyric “so casually cruel in the name of being honest.”
yes! God bless
But as much as I can vibe to this song…
Isn’t compassion weakness. Especially if you’re a man, being compassionate means you’ll be taken advantaged of
@@brutustantheiii8477I hope most men don’t feel that way. Of course, any virtue taken to an extreme can make a person of any gender a doormat. But this idea that it’s emasculating to ever be compassionate is so destructive. Women in fact look to see men be compassionate at least in moments when it’s really called for. A man incapable of compassion is a toxic bully.
Swifties: I know you will get this. One of the reasons Taylor’s songs are so powerful are that the stories are so specific and personal that you just know they really happened to her. Yet, at the same time, they are universal- they speak to experiences we have all had. We’ve all had that fight where he tosses the car keys; we’ve all kept that one thing that smells like our lover. That scene where they are dancing in the kitchen- that’s that good memory that hurts way worse than any of the bad ones because you know you can never get that feeling back. That one hits me the worst because I relate so hard. It’s like she found just the right words to describe what happened to ME. (To all of us.). This is a perfect song.
I loved that you let the song speak to you and reflect. That is REAL masculinity. ❤
💯💯💯 Appreciate you for watching 💜🤜🤛.
“Casually cruel in the name of being honest” is a great lyric. The truth can be delivered with sensitivity, not cruelly and then say…I’m just telling you the truth. No, you’re just being mean is what you want to say! Great song and reaction! Keep up the good work!
This song took me back 30 years into the past during an abusive relationship. I lived that lyric that goes "and I'd forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to". After a narcissist hurts you and abuses you they come back and "hoover" you. Drawing you back into that manipulative relationship with them again telling you they have changed. Then after you give them another chance they start the same gaslighting, abusive, manipulative behavior. Thats where that song took me.
It sounds like being stuck in quicksand. I'm glad this song help you heal 💜
Same.
same here, the whiplash when i first heard it was Intense. The line that struck me the hardest though was "just between us did the love affair maim you too?" cause like ... sometimes you do wonder if they remember
"and you call me up again, just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest" is the exact line you were looking for.
She has always said that she’s a songwriter who gets to sing her own songs. Not a singer that writes her own songs. She sees the truth of people like any great storyteller would.
That line you were thinking of was “So casually cruel in the name of being honest”
The downfall of toxic masculinity is one of the greatest things that can happen to our society. Thank you for actually hearing her.
"Casually cruel in the name of being honest" is my favorite line! So many exes have used the "im just being honest" excuse to ignore the affect their choices have on others. As if being honest is a shield that means no one is allowed to be upset by what they say. And that their need to be honest is always the most important aspect of every conversation. Death by a Thousand Cuts or Cardigan are great if you want to explore more top-tier lyrics
Jake Gyllenhal was in Jarhead (which is about Marines) but the line "soldier returning half her weight" is also referencing her fighting her ED, which she has talked about publicly before.
Double meaning 🔥🔥
I always thought it was about how she was carrying the weight of the relationship because he wasn’t invested in it and when they broke up she went through a battle to get over that heartbreak. So she came back from battle at half her weight (as in minus him).
I always saw it as losing a part of yourself.
@@LiMoo02Isn't that the beauty of lyrics with layers? There are so many meanings with valid and relatable interpretations
The exact lyric is "so casually cruel in the name of being honest". And it's brilliant in more ways than one, but the word 'casually' brings a lot to the table for the meaning of this particular line. Cause that tells us that it's not just that he's cruel, it tells us that it's EASY for him, this cruelty comes easily to him, it's casual, it's a normal thing. It tells us this behavior isn't an exception, it's something that happens regularly enough that he's casual about it. And that hurts so much worse sometimes. (I watch a lot of English Teacher KP, she's awesome).
Okay but hear me out.. you said it was a masterpiece, in which you are absolutely correct. But if you want masterpiece to the next level, watch the short film she directed and made to this. It's insane !! Also the lyrics you were looking for were "and you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest." -- From the girls perspective this is so hurtful, dont be this guy lol
Or a cruelly honest girl either. Listening to Taylor has made me reflect on being the problematic a hole in a lot of my past relationships. Behaving a lot like some of the men she's described.
I like to think I have gotten better and matured in how I treat people.
Taylor did a life version of this on Saturday Night Live and you can still see the emotion on her face from this song and just singing it
Forever tied to her heart 💜
What struck me most is that the song is about heartbreak we can all understand, but it’s also a very personal song in that Jake will DEFINITELY know every single thing she’s talking. “Just between you and me…”
You nailed it! I've been waiting for an honest male take on All Too Well and I've heard many, but You got it! Thank You.
Yes, this song is many things including a Master class to men on human behavior, not "male" behavior, human behavior.
"You call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest I'm crumbled up piece of paper lying here."
That lyric hits so many people HARD!!!!!
I think you just nailed why some men "hate Taylor Swift": she sings from a women's viewpoint, and some men feel attacked by that. That being said, she is singing here about a narcissist, and you by definition are NOT a narcissist, because narcissists have no ability to look inward and examine their behavior. Thank you for being introspective and more importantly just recognizing this masterpiece. It turns out that a person doesn't have to look like Bob Marley, Jon Batiste, or Paul McCartney to be a musical genius; young, pretty women can be musical geniuses too. 😉
No wonder she's TIME magazine Person of the year
The song “The Moment I Knew” is the story of her 21st birthday party, when Jake didn’t show up.
Death By A Thousand Cuts...live in Paris... or We Are Never Getting Back Together 1989 Tour Live...❤'d your reaction...the emotions of what you are hearing show clearly on your face...you felt it...
Thanks for the recommendations! This song definitely spoke to me!
She is a poet and opens up her life to the world
This was one of the most enjoyable reactions. It's always nice to see a man react to Taylor with honesty & emotion. There is so much to unpack in this song, and your connection to the lyrics was palpable. There's a lot of toxic masculinity to blame for men not liking Taylor Swift, and it's refreshing to see you reject that and connect emotionally to the song. You're right -- her music is like therapy - it holds up a mirror and makes you feel your feelings.
As for a few live performances:
Lover in Paris concert (Cornelia Street, Death By a Thousand Cuts, Daylight)
Grammy Museum 2015 - (Blank Space, Wildest Dreams, and Out of the Woods)
Super Saturday Night concert (all of it but particularly Holy Ground & I Don't Wanna Live Forever (acoustic)
Folklore Long Pond Sessions
I'm going to go binge the rest of your Taylor reactions now. ❤
That's sweet... " She'll sleep on the floor if you don't have anything." Such an insightful, delicate, and true thing to say about a loving woman. You made my day sir!
Bro, I could see your pain trying to hear that line just one more time..."So casually cruel in the name of being honest". It's my favorite, and I think a lot of other folks' as well. :-) Viewers are gonna watch your whole reaction just to hear that line again with you! ;-) Great reaction.
Taylor directed and produced a short video movie to this song and you should watch that. She personally picked which actors she wanted and personally coached them and it’s just really something I think you would enjoy.
This was a favorite of mine years ago after Red came out, before we knew of a 10 minute version. There were definitely times crying in the shower to this song several years ago when I was going through my own breakup. 😅 but hasn’t everyone? 😆
She’s just such an excellent story teller and masterful lyricist, creating vivid imagery and causing a visceral reaction in the listener with songs like this.
I absolutely appreciate your comment after the video. Thank you for being brutally honest.❤
So I'm a long time swiftie here 🖐🏻 love the reviews so far! I loved how you described her songwriting as a movie and have to tell you (if someone else hasn't already) that she made a MOVIE of All Too Well (it's about 15 minutes taylor wrote more instrumental music for it)
Aside from that, I'd recommend Cold As You as a song from her first album it's track 5 and it's incredibly emotionally and poetically well written imo but all her music is good imo so i'm a little biased lol
Love your honestly and self awareness! Subbed!
This is such an excellent reaction! I love how you combed back through the song and gave some great insights, I wish other reactors did the same!
Beautiful breakdown! Appreciate the honesty because I think it can go both ways. This song breaks my heart but it is one of my favorites. The fact that she performs this every night on her Eras Tour is so impressive.
I really love your commentary. A lot of people just react to the song but I truly love seeing the connections you make to life and other aspects outside of music.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts about being on the good side of her next song; truly, that was beautiful. Thank you.
All of us need to be nurtured, and if you can't do that for the person you are with, or even the opposite where you can't do that for someone you are with, then gently close the relationship so both of you can find the person that makes you a better person.
What a great review. Well done!
BRILLIANT reaction 💜
This song reminds me of a past love., he almost got a ticket looking at me. The cop that pulled him over told him to look at the road instead of looking at me.
We ended because his parents didn’t like my religion. It was the saddest day of my life up until that point. 45 years and two marriages ago and I still remember his face.
Well said. A masterpiece!
The song "Would've, Could've, Should've" almost broke her, and the trauma is with her even now, and a lot of that trauma is gently dropped in a number of her songs. That one is about John Meyer and taking the girl from her that she had first.
She kept looking at the door on her 21st bday party and he never showed up for her.
Loved your reaction and your empathy.. ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your reaction! For her live performances, my faves are "Out of the Woods" from her 1989 World Tour, "Dear John" from the Speak Now World Tour, and for a piano performance that's really pretty, "Holy Ground" in the BBC live lounge. You will find all of these on UA-cam. ☺️
You always just get it and we love that for u
17:29 you’re absolutely right. This song just popped up for me and it made me break down crying.
This situation is one Im currently in… the only thing from not leaving is my love for my son and the IDEA of having the “American Dream Family”. Having both parents is a big thing for me…so instead Im fighting My OWN emotions… this song came and that door finally opened😭😭. I’m trying. I’m fighting. I’m trying… I’m crying💔
Her tribeca review reflection of her short film was interesting- both were protagonists.
"I'm a soldier returning half her weight" could both refer to the movie Source Code, but it could also refer to the fact that the break up caused a resurgence of her anorexia.
God bless ❤
Call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest.....(sung on a key change). Yes, this is the song's epicenter.
You should definitely get into Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions
It's hard to go wrong with any live performances, it just depends what you like. If you want just Taylor and an instrument she has an NPR Tiny Desk concert on UA-cam. If you prefer the big flashy concert spectacle the reputation stadium tour is on Netflix and there are clips of the 1989 world tour on UA-cam. Also the Eras Tour digital rental drops 12/13. So you have lots of options. There are also clips of her songwriting process and behind the scenes on her music videos if any of that interests you.
Holy shizz I never put it together that he was in jarhead!! 👀 12:25
New to the channel, you should definitely check out the short film version of this song which Taylor directed. It's nice to hear someone be so honest and reflecting on themselves.
the keychain itself said "fuck the patriarchy" and he threw them AT her. it's incredibly ironic.
Truth without compassion can be brutality
"so casually cruel in the name of being honest"
Beautiful.
I kept hoping you would find the phrase you were looking for within the song, namely, “casually, cruel in the name of being honest”
Great reaction.
If this song got you, definitely listen to tolerate it and losing me.
The folklore album
Recommending Dear John
The live tour version is very expressive
You should watch the music video it definitely a great one
It was about her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal, and how he just threw her away
I am new here! I enjoyed your reaction. If you have not please listen to My Tears Ricochet!!
His last name is pronounced like
Jake (Jill-Lynn-Haul). Hope this helps.
I’ve always thought it was a ‘F the patriarchy’ keychain that was thrown on the ground. Funny how we hear things differently. 🙂
I feel like it has both a literal and metaphorical meaning. Like an older man basically manipulating a young woman, not seeing her as a whole person IS patriarchal.
He is depicted as being performative so i could see the keychain line killing 2 birds with 1 stone
@@KierkegaardianKitty Indeed. ❤️
My take on it was that he had the "f the patriarchy" keychain as a good show, something he didn't really believe as he casually threw it in the dirt for her to pick up, also showing that he didn't really value her enough to put it in her hand.
React to music video of The Man
React all too well short film please 🙏
💯💯💯💯