I was told to my face I should be dating a coworker! My petty ass complained and the boss handled it. I don’t appreciate explaining my dating life since it’s none of anyone’s business. Let HR handle it.
The rudest I have experienced at work, was when my manager disclosed my salary to my entire team to put a target on my back. I was making 10-20% more than others in the team including the manager and my manager was SO UPSET about it. So he disclosed my salary to the entire team(exaggerated the RSU value to make it look bigger than it is) and gave me a hard time about it every single day. Not a day went without him needling me about my salary. Turns out, disclosing another person's salary is not illegal. I pulled him aside and told him I don't appreciate him talking about my salary but he continued anyway. 1. If it weren't for this pay check, will you be able to afford those shoes? 2. What is your family background? Are your parents rich? How much does your spouse make? 3. So you make xyz because of your MBA. Guys what are you all doing? Go get your MBA? 4. When the stock market crashed "You need not worry about it, as you are making more than us anyway" 5. What do you do with your money? Just curious. 6. You need to work harder as you are making x y z 7. When asked for vacation, you are making this salary and you want vacation? I found another job and left this toxic workplace. Guess what, I negotiated an even higher salary.
This is important that’s they do know when they’re nasty, hateful and bitter souls. They are unhappy in life or just apart the toxicity that hold back the world from being a good place.
I have no doubt that is the case with one of my coworkers. She wants to win an invisible competition that she apparently feels threatened by even though all I'm trying to do is get through work without having a panic attack. I think she's also an very very very unhappy person so she reads my intentions incorrectly and translates niceness as... Maybe fakeness? I don't know exactly but I have no questions her intentions are self serving, conniving and lacking incredible amounts of emotional maturity.
As a kid, I looked forward to growing up and being around adults because I thought this childish behavior didn't exist. Boy, was I wrong! Jealousy, selfishness, competitive obsessed children grow up to be the same jerks
@@JenniferBrick thank you! It took me a long time and I wish people like you were easily findable in 1990 when I started working. I love seeing guidance about how we can calmly assert our boundaries, much sooner than many in my generation did. Well done!
A few years ago, a manager told me that I was replaceable. I looked at him right in the eyes and said so are you and walked out. The next day, I was begged to go back and said "no thanks bud!". lol
I learned how to handle insulting comments by gaming. One of the best responses you can give to someone who is clearly salty about you for whatever reason is just to give a 2 second pause followed by a hmmm. Most rude people don’t know how to handle it bc it’s barely a reaction at all. They’d have to badger you for an answer and that’d make them look irrational. That’s generally the end goal of those comments, is to make you look irrational, so as long as you stay rational they lose bc they’re not using reason. In team-based exercises like games, this is helpful bc it makes it obvious what’s going on to bystanding teammates as well as makes you look quite level-headed if the toxic person decides to lose their shit and go off on you.
When I hear people gossip about me, I let them talk. I have no time for gossip or drama. I keep my head out & keep going. Doing my job helps me be distracted from such juvenile behaviour. Of course if someone wants to be nasty with me, I will not hesitate to put my foot down. To quote Coco Chanel - "I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t think of you at all" Not a huge fan of Gabrielle Chanel but, that alone speaks on all levels.
This reminds me of an episode from mad men. And from the flip side of the coin this concept can also be humbling when letting go of someone else's mistakes and even our own. I would have to be too important to be in that person's last thoughts at the end of the day. So even if I made a mistake I can start a new day over.
My boss was rude and condescending to me and I not only 😤 gave it back to him in a professional manner but also reported him to HR and threatened to quit. We had a meeting with HR and I made it clear that I am a professional and expect to be treated as such otherwise we are parting ways. It worked and now he behaves. Training a draggon.
I had to go into my coworkers’ office once and they were “jokingly” hinting at me stealing from them. 🙄 I just laughed, told them not to worry, and played dumb. I pray I find another job in the near future.
When I was working in an office with all women, all day long it was gossiping. After working there for a month listening to it I responded one day by saying to the whole section "A dog that brings you a bone will take one back". This was met with silence then questions about what that meant. I'm a southern woman so in my normal southern accent I told them it meant that if someone brings you gossip they are waiting for what you say so they can go back and tell someone else. Funny how the gossip mill stopped dead in it's tracks.
How about just saying: I'm not comfortable talking about it, sorry". Once I asked something at work, and the colleague replied: "I don't want to talk about it, sorry". From now on I reply like that too and follow it up by changing the topic.
YES!! When I deal with rude comments or rude people people making videos about me it sends my body into fight or flight !!!! I have been saying this to people like you explain. I need to find a way to not allow it to affect me.
I use the playing dumb approach sometimes. It almost all solves the issue because the person realizes either they said something offensive, or totally misspoke and meant something different.
Ooh this is a good one! One time I was feeling petty and I asked the person to repeat herself so she could hear herself sound like an idiot. It made her feel dumb that she had to say it twice without a reaction from me twice. I just stared blankly at her and after a few seconds I said "Oh." like I just heard her for the first time. It worked like a charm and then I just went back to work hahaha
some people make rude comments and walk away, so there is no time for conversation or clarification, ...it is a complex subject, and bullies won't change. That is why the best is to report them.
It's rude when someone dominates the conversation and then complains that others aren't speaking enough. No space to speak without interrupting and then they get mad about the interruption. Impossible! Gross
My boss told me I need to grow a pair of balls because I didn't want to just push code into production without properly testing it, he's a psychopath if you haven't guessed.
I have an unusual first name and one day this coworker asks me only when we were sitting in a large table with all other coworkers saying out loud, "yea like didn't you name yourself" I'm just like where did that come from!? Who names themselves anyway? He just had an assumption that was the case. I think he asked this once before and has a habit of assuming and making up ideas. Just really annoying how they make things up out of thin air and publicizing it out loud in front of the whole office.
Sometime when a question like that comes up. I usually respond while secretly recording, "how is that question productive to the project/ post /assignment/or file.
Told two verbally abusive supervisors how all they do is brow beat people, make threats, have no leadership skills, and have no business being supervisors. I was "let go" three weeks later. So happy I no longer work there.
I have a "lead" at work who accused me of wanting their job, told me that they find me intimidating and I told them that I don't want to know these things. They doubled down on it despite me telling them that I do not want their job. We supposedly "cleared the slate" but I finally had to go to the management because they went back to the same behavior. It's a vicious cycle right now.
"i am exercising my rights not to answer the question or anything similar" is my go to robotic answer. or for that money question directed at Jen, maybe a bit sassy but "coz i like money, how's poverty treating you?"
I like the sassy answer. Lol Also, sometimes not answering at all, specifically ignoring question is appropriate. Not always, but sometimes like in a group environment.
@jessicaj9743Yes. amen. and check out Psalm 37 - good for a morale booster when you see "the bad guys winning". but this system is on the way out. We are in the Great Tribulationn now - Revelationn 6- the seals outlines the Time of Great Distresss- aka Tribulationn - The preachers are not telling the truth, but just like Isaiah said - they are dogs that do not bark-
*I used to have to work 1 on 1 with the CFO of my old employer. I will never forget how she once told me that I'm "eye candy" and how the other women at the job used to talk about me. She actually laughed about it saying "I hope this isn't considered sexual harassment". All I could do was smile. I mean what would I sound like as a 6'2 black guy telling HR that my Boss was sexually harassing me.* 🤷🏿♂️
We had handsome young new IT at my old company (years ago) that they women ogle whenever he came around. I heard that he was let go for being too much of a distraction.
It’s very difficult for men to resolve conflict with women as anyone with dark triangle traits invokes the sisterhood, even when they are totally out of order.
My coworker always calls me “Girl” I did ask her where pick up this habit? Because in cutlets it’s an insult & she told me to her women can be girls if your 20 or 80 yrs old. I told her it’s an insult if you call the (male) CEO - boy & she agreed that she would never to that. But women are girls & I said it’s insulting & she said that’s my fault. I have not gone to my boss, I had in the past & they tell me to ignore her.
Folks don't realize that with all these cunningness, rudeness, too smartness and competitiveness what you get at the end of day, is a big C and then D.
There is many rude ppl specially in industries like construction etc. it’s horrible honestly unless you’re manager then you’d rude comments from higher managers
I like how the thumbnail says "SHUT DOWN RUDE COMMENTS INSTANTLY" and then you advise to change the topic 🤡. I prefer addressing their rudeness head on, making them feel guilty for it and putting them back to their place.
My "boss" called me on vacation to tell me the "great" news of a "raise" (aka, cost of living adjustment) when I asked questions re: it, ie- if that meant we weren't being given an additional raise (potentially) at our annual review he went off saying how I should be grateful when so many people were losing their jobs... um, excuse me - but many MANY companies are hiring in my field, and you, sir should count your blessings you are not having to shell out more for someone new when I leave because my pay is less than what I really should be getting. Wish I could have told him to shove it where the sun don't shine.
I was a production supervisor. When we would run out of material and there was none left in the warehouse I would have to shut the machine down. I would email the warehouse manager letting her know we were out and because of that I had to shut a machine down. When the material came in she would email the other 2 supervisors to let them know but not me. Petty! My production manager would have to forward the email to me
I've worked at a store for over 8 years. I love what I do, but HATE the people I work with. New management has been taking over and I just don't feel in sync with the new culture.
How to handle a hypocrite commenting on how long your lunch is when that is not their position, and they take extremely long lunches themselves. (Keep in mind competitive co worker because I was elected for promotion)
i have a co-worker who has a medical condition and people make the rudest comments or stare at her. she is really young and had been bullied all her life because she has really bad jaundice and is yellow. i have been out of hearing range when she has been asked rudely asked by customers or she tells me after they left. i then just want to go full mom mode and rip people to shreds because i can clearly see they have hurt her feelings. what can i do as a co-worker when our mgr will not do anything?
Hi, thank you for your video, I've always struggled with thinking of what to say when someone is rude. Regardless of the setting. Do you think saying, oh okay , you're entitled to your own opinion is a fine response and then just change the topic afterwards (indicating that what they said didn't really matter to you ) what do you guys think ? I want a one liner that can just work for all rudeness, because im tired, and i don't like people having so much power over my emotions.
"So when are you going to retire?" Yes, I am over 60 but I am amused by that question. I have laughed and said "Why, do I look that beat up?" Motivation does matter. I know they do not mean it as an insult but depending on who it is, I have fun with it. Then I tell them my plans. lol
Me too. Oh and after you mirror it, then laugh. Boy that will make them think their question or remark was laughable and most importantly, not taken seriously by you. Lol
I do not think co-workers are dumb, if they were who had hired them, right? This 'rudeness' is mostly observable in diverse teams and comes out of culture, mentality, bringing up and other personal features, maybe even psych. traumas. Besides it, sometimes we ourselves over react. The thing is what is rude for me, might be ok for another person. Of course, it is not nice situation, but no one is dumb, it sounds exactly like 'why do you still work if your husband is rich?' or what example was given by the narrator... I also think, topics that are suitable to discuss must be written in conduct code and this is a subject to check if the guidelines are followed during probation period, it helps to remove so called 'dumbness'. And another question, all these behavioural interviews... all these hours spent on infinite rounds, why??? Still do not want to think someone is dumb.
I would like to propose for future videos, not to call people DUMB. It defeats the purpose of this videos, also It shows lack of respect to the audience, and lack of unprofessionalism from your side Mrs. Jennifer. I strongly recommend using instead the word "Un-educated" which is a word that covers a bigger crowd and more people can relate 🙂👌 Thanks For Your Videos. Amazing Work 🙌
Well, Jennifer, you are rude for calling antisocial people “dumb.” Antisocial People that decided to watch your video to gain a social skill are offended. I'm offended for them. This is the 1st video of yours that I watched. Nope I won't be back here.
I'm guessing from your comment these videos are more about "you" than they are for you. She actually said quite a bit that can help a LOT of others to have better days at work. God bless....
Rude people 99.9% of the time are looking for a reaction. The reaction you provide is the reward. Don't give them one. Follow this simple rule and they will move on to someone who does.
I think when someone makes a underhanded comment , that’s challenging because I don’t want to appear triggered. They would just deny it. Next time I’m going to say “what do you mean?” Rude people are actually miserable inside and they hate happy people. I stay happy in front of them . They hate that😁
Had a coworker who would constantly make comments about my body. I just flat out ignored it. I later on overheard her talk about herself and how fat she is and told another coworker that I had "the perfect body". I just laughed to myself. Keep your insecurities at the door m'am.
@@tazishagemini7513 they r body shaming so u can feel bad eat bad , become fat and then they can laugh at you. Just tell someone" I don't have time for this conversation I'm going to do my job"
@@RachelNdumia1 Funny thing is I went from 130 to 160 due to birth control, didn't really have a great diet but stayed active and drank a lot of water, and I was still the slimmest employee at my job due to having more muscle mass than fat. So if they want to try to body shame me, they just need to make sure they have the ideal body first 💁🏾♀️
My former boss was condescending, and would say I was too confident and arrogant. My response was 'in my experience, the people who take notice of someone's confidence generally lack confidence in themselves.' She got defensive and I tuned her out.
That's it. I do appear to be too confident. But the reality is that i am confident. However, the other person may not be confident about the success of the company. 😄
My initial thought is jealousy because in the workplace coworkers are competitive with each other, which is why I don’t share personal achievements, vacation travels, or spouses occupation because those nosy coworkers will not hesitate to Google that job profession to get an estimate of what salary your spouse could be making. Coworkers sides themselves up against each other, rather it be where you shop for your clothes, food, to which community do you live to the type of car you drive to how you spend your weekends. I would shut down the nonsense by saying, “Are you done working for the day?” or “Should I tell the supervisor that you don’t have enough work to keep you busy?”
Yes, I learned this in my last job. I let the two of them discuss their young children. I'm the odd one out as my kids are grown. Honestly, I've learned to not give a crap. Just too bad the one is a nasty one!
I find the workplace generally is quite competitive. There is always small talk, like how old are your kids, are you going on holiday? There is always snide comments I find. The worst thing is though, when people are talking behind your back, I really hate that. I would rather they told me in front of my face
I'm with you on that! I don't mind people having opinions and things to say, but so often the complains, comments and passive aggressive deepen the issue that could be resolved with a direct conversation.
Its exhausting to deal with jealous rude troublemakers! You have to be on guard all the time and can't trust anyone. Its disappointing because you want to believe in others.
@@JenniferBrick Will not work at my workplace, the one mini boss says the term, I put in my time. He thinks he should not have to do anything. The other problem is that so many people at my workplace seem to have some sort of mental dysfunction. Not directly related to the mental issues, they have vices (drinking), they have to have their kids in sports (expensive). They pretend that they must be broke because they have lives and families, apparently I do not have what they think of as a life.
I also give a steady eye contact without saying anything to try to make a point that I know I was just offended but don't give them any fuel to say how I rebuttled.
yeah i agree. at work i have just enough energy to get work done. i barely have some energy to interact with co-workers. but i don't stand for any wise crack like if i don't go to company socials. i told that co-worker straight up that i have a life after work. that shut him up afterwards.
Mirror the absurdity is my personal favourite one here. A few years back I had a colleague who was born with a medical condition where her fingers didn't fully grow (both hands). A known obnoxious co-worker asked her in a rude way, "Where did you learn to write?" To which she cleverly responded, "Kindergarten, what about you?!?!?!"
I had a manager literally become very upset because she found out I didn't want to birth children. During our work-from home ''touch-base" phone calls, she was extremely defensive, aggressive & even tried age shaming me (I'm 29). She is now on maternity leave with her 'oops' baby (thank goodness). By the time she comes back next year I'll have long quit the company.
Yeah it’s a lot of ageist assholes in the workplace towards us who are young and I’m shocked nobody discusses this. Especially when we don’t feed into the “young, dumb, and lost” persona the world paints all young people under this umbrella. There should be a law to not discriminate against anyone’s age but just older people. I’m mature for my age, great work ethic, and conduct myself well but people has thrown my age up in my face through shady comments or they’ll act really weird because I’m young or blatantly ignore me. It’s like jealousy or something.
@@Fourwindsofsuccess They probably are jealous of the fact they're no longer your age. Not your fault you have more time on this planet than them! 🤷🏾♂️🤣
I am retiring at age 62. My coworkers give me a bad time, asking how I can retire. I tell them I am almost debt free and didn't buy a 400,000 house, so I don't have to work until I am 69. Usually shuts them up pretty quick. A lot of the coworkers are into status symbols: cars, houses, clothing, etc. I am not. I bought a very modest home, i shop at thrift stores, and I buy used cars.
Yeah... most women are so competitive with each other. I don't understand it. I don't compete with anyone but myself. I don't compare myself to anyone, because I don't see the point.
...So many rude comments at work. I almost always freeze! I'm usually shocked, by how rude they are. It's a daily challenge. I think it's best to ignore it...because it doesn't deserve a response.
My coworker and I were hired at the same time. They are intimidated by how quickly I learn and pick up on things. I have gone out of my way to help them. It has backfired and they tried to throw me under the bus because they didn’t understand the process. I have to work with this person, so I will continue to help them. I’m definitely not going out of my way to help them though. I understand that they have insecurities, so I’m definitely keeping it strictly business from now on. No more side convos. 🤷🏽♀️
What is your advice for someone whose coworker has wrongfully (and dramatically ) tried to turn other coworkers against her? Kinda awkward when you come to work and everyone is suddenly rude to you or doesn’t talk to you...
I like the video she did on "why don't my coworkers like me." She drove home the point that we don't need friends at work.. I understand your situation bc I have the same scenario, but after a few days of a mindset that I'm working alone (pretend it's just me).. some noticed and asked me if I'm ok. My cheery "not at all" reply had them thinking and they've either left me alone or smile when passing now etc. Not a complete fix, but I feel more in control of my circumstance. Good luck
I'm retired now but when I step out the door, I tell myself, "Be a lady, keep cool, don't overreact to whatever rude comments and behaviors I'm might come across."
As I look younger than I am I often get rude and irrelevant comments about my perceived youngness and ipso facto inexperience. I just use it as ammo as I like to surprise people with my ability to do my job really well due to my experience - which has nothing to do with my age!
This is for young folks esp Best to listen and observe. Let them do the talking when you go to a new job or first job. Keep your head down, be cordial and appear shy. And find an older friendly competent worker and be a sponge around them!
Sometimes you have say what's on your mind. Let people know where the line is and don't cross it. Telling someone to drink a tall,frosty glass of kiss my @$$ tends to get the point across with some while others you may have to dumb it down for them.
Not having social skills doesn't mean you're dumb. Not everyone excels in every aspect but you can always find what you're good at and be the expert in that. :)
I had a co-worker who seemed to delight in telling me I looked tired, or looked like I didn't feel well. She was a catty gossip, maybe she thought I had some personal drama going on that I was going to fill her in on, I don't know. I naturally have dark circles under my eyes, and by mid-afternoon if I don't touch up my makeup they become more obvious. Also, after staring at a computer screen all day my eyes get strained. But her constant put-downs and telling me how awful I looked were really tiresome. I finally told her, "Gee thanks, Sue! Glad to know I look like s***."
When somebody asks you a rude question, just say "it's none of your business". Be professional so they cannot accuse you of swearing but don't worry about being liked. Just be respected. I wouldn't even worry about analysing their possible motivation or even trying to de-personalise the verbal attack. Who cares? I wouldn't even try to be witty or try to make a point by showing how stupid the comment is. That's like tip toeing around them. Tell them straight in a professional manner. And yes, "it's none of your business" is a perfectly acceptable response.
Idk whether it is right, my narc coworker Recently tried to insult me in front of my clients, that I am not competent to work, I am lazy, I do everything slowly, etc. Even though I felt disturbed, I instantly told to mind her f#*king business. And she argued further. And I shut her further. And sent her off. But only after she was done with shouting, she left. I informed it to my senior officer, who doesn't understand and he called it as Coworker stunt and he will terminate both of us further. I said nothing is my mistake and she just tortures me. And took some time and confronted her later and she started shouting even more. And insulting me further. I instantly told her that she has a disorder. And she repeated. Finally I gave a 😤🤬 and left the place. Idk whether my jov is under fire, but can't bear the tension.
I was literally accused of being a child murderer by a co-worker after I came back from Afghanistan. If that's projection I wonder what that co-worker was really up to.
@@StevieSparkZduh he fought one of a,Erica’s needless invasion which always kill more civilians than anyone else. Have you studied any America history?
It’s not projection. Some people are awake to the American war machine. Wikileaks revealed that to the most asleep. Not your fault though, you just followed orders and needed a job.
I'm a waiter at a restaurant and one of our team members got off with three other members and sat in my section and I politely asked "hey is there anything I can get you folks" and he said "no nothing from you" and that really pissed me off however another team member also said that's a rude comment and I just said "I know right" and it's been getting me ever since but these UA-cam videos have been helping me 👊
![[UA] Eternal Fire проти NAVI | EPL Season 20 Malta](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/chvlsDygrZM/mqdefault.jpg)
Have you tried any of these strategies to shut down rude comments? What suggestions would you add?
I have a zero tolerance to rudeness, I just say if you have a problem just tell me and we will sort it
I was told to my face I should be dating a coworker! My petty ass complained and the boss handled it. I don’t appreciate explaining my dating life since it’s none of anyone’s business. Let HR handle it.
The rudest I have experienced at work, was when my manager disclosed my salary to my entire team to put a target on my back. I was making 10-20% more than others in the team including the manager and my manager was SO UPSET about it. So he disclosed my salary to the entire team(exaggerated the RSU value to make it look bigger than it is) and gave me a hard time about it every single day. Not a day went without him needling me about my salary. Turns out, disclosing another person's salary is not illegal. I pulled him aside and told him I don't appreciate him talking about my salary but he continued anyway.
1. If it weren't for this pay check, will you be able to afford those shoes?
2. What is your family background? Are your parents rich? How much does your spouse make?
3. So you make xyz because of your MBA. Guys what are you all doing? Go get your MBA?
4. When the stock market crashed "You need not worry about it, as you are making more than us anyway"
5. What do you do with your money? Just curious.
6. You need to work harder as you are making x y z
7. When asked for vacation, you are making this salary and you want vacation?
I found another job and left this toxic workplace. Guess what, I negotiated an even higher salary.
You should get a pixie cut. It would make you look more professional. And sexy!
@@matthewsmith2787 GET'EM 👊 👊💥💥💢💫
PERIOD 💅
I don't think rude people are oblivious to their rudness they know exactly what they are doing
This is important that’s they do know when they’re nasty, hateful and bitter souls. They are unhappy in life or just apart the toxicity that hold back the world from being a good place.
Rudeness
I completely agree with you
I have no doubt that is the case with one of my coworkers. She wants to win an invisible competition that she apparently feels threatened by even though all I'm trying to do is get through work without having a panic attack. I think she's also an very very very unhappy person so she reads my intentions incorrectly and translates niceness as... Maybe fakeness? I don't know exactly but I have no questions her intentions are self serving, conniving and lacking incredible amounts of emotional maturity.
As a kid, I looked forward to growing up and being around adults because I thought this childish behavior didn't exist. Boy, was I wrong! Jealousy, selfishness, competitive obsessed children grow up to be the same jerks
Same
My go-to is “my goodness, how impertinent/that’s personal/oh I don’t discuss that at work” then laugh. But I’m over 50 and don’t really DGAF anymore.
I love that you have a clear boundary and are not afraid to communicate it!
This is the best answer. Just nip it in the bud.
@@JenniferBrick thank you! It took me a long time and I wish people like you were easily findable in 1990 when I started working.
I love seeing guidance about how we can calmly assert our boundaries, much sooner than many in my generation did. Well done!
🤫😂😂
🤣🤣
A few years ago, a manager told me that I was replaceable. I looked at him right in the eyes and said so are you and walked out. The next day, I was begged to go back and said "no thanks bud!". lol
I'm fucking dead please, that's so savage 🤣😭😭😭 love this comment
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
😊☺😂😂😂🤣 love it!!!
Right?! Last time I checked they were getting a check too.
Everyone is replaceable, everyone dies, the sun rise from the east.
There's one thing I don't understand:
if it's safe for them to be rude at work why shouldn't it not be safe for you?
Often the dynamics entail the rude person's rudeness being tolerated while others is not.
@@JenniferBrick
I don't know much about the workplace
people treat you the way you permit
In a vacuum, it should not be safe or encouraged for people to be rude at work.
@@JenniferBrick Great point, Jennifer.
Just say omg you sound like one of my spoiled nieces lol
I don’t feed into negativity. I just look them in the eye and ask “are you done?” And just stare at them until they awkwardly leave
but saying "are you done" is kinda negative and feeding into their negativity xD
I like that advice👍🏻
Hey normal person it's ok to be abnormal sometimes.
Any questions or statements they have towards you, just say
"I don't answer questions and statements."
I learned how to handle insulting comments by gaming. One of the best responses you can give to someone who is clearly salty about you for whatever reason is just to give a 2 second pause followed by a hmmm. Most rude people don’t know how to handle it bc it’s barely a reaction at all. They’d have to badger you for an answer and that’d make them look irrational. That’s generally the end goal of those comments, is to make you look irrational, so as long as you stay rational they lose bc they’re not using reason. In team-based exercises like games, this is helpful bc it makes it obvious what’s going on to bystanding teammates as well as makes you look quite level-headed if the toxic person decides to lose their shit and go off on you.
When I hear people gossip about me, I let them talk. I have no time for gossip or drama. I keep my head out & keep going. Doing my job helps me be distracted from such juvenile behaviour. Of course if someone wants to be nasty with me, I will not hesitate to put my foot down. To quote Coco Chanel - "I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t think of you at all" Not a huge fan of Gabrielle Chanel but, that alone speaks on all levels.
Yes! I love this vibe! Not being bothered keeps their problem from being your problem ✨
This reminds me of an episode from mad men. And from the flip side of the coin this concept can also be humbling when letting go of someone else's mistakes and even our own. I would have to be too important to be in that person's last thoughts at the end of the day. So even if I made a mistake I can start a new day over.
My boss was rude and condescending to me and I not only 😤 gave it back to him in a professional manner but also reported him to HR and threatened to quit. We had a meeting with HR and I made it clear that I am a professional and expect to be treated as such otherwise we are parting ways. It worked and now he behaves. Training a draggon.
Ooooooooooooooo!
I had to go into my coworkers’ office once and they were “jokingly” hinting at me stealing from them. 🙄 I just laughed, told them not to worry, and played dumb. I pray I find another job in the near future.
I just ignore them and pretend like I didn't hear the question.
This is a great tip!
When I was working in an office with all women, all day long it was gossiping. After working there for a month listening to it I responded one day by saying to the whole section "A dog that brings you a bone will take one back". This was met with silence then questions about what that meant.
I'm a southern woman so in my normal southern accent I told them it meant that if someone brings you gossip they are waiting for what you say so they can go back and tell someone else. Funny how the gossip mill stopped dead in it's tracks.
Some people at work just lack awareness on social etiquette.
Say it again! No social etiquette!
How about just saying: I'm not comfortable talking about it, sorry". Once I asked something at work, and the colleague replied: "I don't want to talk about it, sorry". From now on I reply like that too and follow it up by changing the topic.
YES!! When I deal with rude comments or rude people people making videos about me it sends my body into fight or flight !!!! I have been saying this to people like you explain.
I need to find a way to not allow it to affect me.
I use the playing dumb approach sometimes. It almost all solves the issue because the person realizes either they said something offensive, or totally misspoke and meant something different.
Great point, Maria! It definitely gives the other person the opportunity to realize something just stumbled out all wrong.
Ooh this is a good one! One time I was feeling petty and I asked the person to repeat herself so she could hear herself sound like an idiot. It made her feel dumb that she had to say it twice without a reaction from me twice. I just stared blankly at her and after a few seconds I said "Oh." like I just heard her for the first time. It worked like a charm and then I just went back to work hahaha
Great example of this in action!
I do that too and I start asking them questions.
@@JenniferBrickNo. Wrong startegy to tackle. They know what they are doing. They just estimate your response.
some people make rude comments and walk away, so there is no time for conversation or clarification, ...it is a complex subject, and bullies won't change. That is why the best is to report them.
It's rude when someone dominates the conversation and then complains that others aren't speaking enough. No space to speak without interrupting and then they get mad about the interruption. Impossible! Gross
My boss told me I need to grow a pair of balls because I didn't want to just push code into production without properly testing it, he's a psychopath if you haven't guessed.
Bravo...I am glad I am retired. My last six years in the work force were pure hell. Wish I had these suggestions when I was working.
I have an unusual first name and one day this coworker asks me only when we were sitting in a large table with all other coworkers saying out loud, "yea like didn't you name yourself" I'm just like where did that come from!? Who names themselves anyway? He just had an assumption that was the case. I think he asked this once before and has a habit of assuming and making up ideas. Just really annoying how they make things up out of thin air and publicizing it out loud in front of the whole office.
Sometime when a question like that comes up. I usually respond while secretly recording, "how is that question productive to the project/ post /assignment/or file.
My issues are the passive aggressive, competitive coworker who shit talks at work.
I've given over a decade of playing subservient to a cast of characters. It's a soul killer and a bore. Where oh where is my perfect work environment?
Told two verbally abusive supervisors how all they do is brow beat people, make threats, have no leadership skills, and have no business being supervisors.
I was "let go" three weeks later.
So happy I no longer work there.
I have a "lead" at work who accused me of wanting their job, told me that they find me intimidating and I told them that I don't want to know these things. They doubled down on it despite me telling them that I do not want their job. We supposedly "cleared the slate" but I finally had to go to the management because they went back to the same behavior. It's a vicious cycle right now.
"i am exercising my rights not to answer the question or anything similar" is my go to robotic answer.
or for that money question directed at Jen, maybe a bit sassy but "coz i like money, how's poverty treating you?"
I like the sassy answer. Lol
Also, sometimes not answering at all, specifically ignoring question is appropriate. Not always, but sometimes like in a group environment.
It is so sad our society has degenerated to this point where interaction has become so excruciating. What a miserable society.
@jessicaj9743Yes. amen. and check out Psalm 37 - good for a morale booster when you see "the bad guys winning". but this system is on the way out. We are in the Great Tribulationn now - Revelationn 6- the seals outlines the Time of Great Distresss- aka Tribulationn - The preachers are not telling the truth, but just like Isaiah said - they are dogs that do not bark-
*I used to have to work 1 on 1 with the CFO of my old employer. I will never forget how she once told me that I'm "eye candy" and how the other women at the job used to talk about me. She actually laughed about it saying "I hope this isn't considered sexual harassment". All I could do was smile. I mean what would I sound like as a 6'2 black guy telling HR that my Boss was sexually harassing me.* 🤷🏿♂️
We had handsome young new IT at my old company (years ago) that they women ogle whenever he came around. I heard that he was let go for being too much of a distraction.
Lame jealousy, and they are having a difficult time at home and their life.
Majority of the time.
It’s very difficult for men to resolve conflict with women as anyone with dark triangle traits invokes the sisterhood, even when they are totally out of order.
My coworker always calls me “Girl” I did ask her where pick up this habit? Because in cutlets it’s an insult & she told me to her women can be girls if your 20 or 80 yrs old. I told her it’s an insult if you call the (male) CEO - boy & she agreed that she would never to that. But women are girls & I said it’s insulting & she said that’s my fault. I have not gone to my boss, I had in the past & they tell me to ignore her.
Folks don't realize that with all these cunningness, rudeness, too smartness and competitiveness what you get at the end of day, is a big C and then D.
There is many rude ppl specially in industries like construction etc. it’s horrible honestly unless you’re manager then you’d rude comments from higher managers
Me to chad:how's that hair transplant going?
Clap back.
Just spat my water out 🤣🤣🤣
I like how the thumbnail says "SHUT DOWN RUDE COMMENTS INSTANTLY" and then you advise to change the topic 🤡. I prefer addressing their rudeness head on, making them feel guilty for it and putting them back to their place.
Love your videos. Need them for my toxic work environment.
Yes, good videos, also watch Dan o'Conner communication videos, very informative. 🙂👍
1. Unhealed people. 2. Unresolved trauma. 3. Just a mean person who likes being mean.
My "boss" called me on vacation to tell me the "great" news of a "raise" (aka, cost of living adjustment) when I asked questions re: it, ie- if that meant we weren't being given an additional raise (potentially) at our annual review he went off saying how I should be grateful when so many people were losing their jobs... um, excuse me - but many MANY companies are hiring in my field, and you, sir should count your blessings you are not having to shell out more for someone new when I leave because my pay is less than what I really should be getting. Wish I could have told him to shove it where the sun don't shine.
Thanks. I feel like I took a course in 11 minutes.
I was a production supervisor. When we would run out of material and there was none left in the warehouse I would have to shut the machine down. I would email the warehouse manager letting her know we were out and because of that I had to shut a machine down. When the material came in she would email the other 2 supervisors to let them know but not me. Petty! My production manager would have to forward the email to me
It really sounds like coworkers don't like negotiations then stupidity.
Dramatic coworkers don't have a life.
My boss can be really disrespectful in the way that she speaks to me. What's the best way to deal with that?
I've worked at a store for over 8 years. I love what I do, but HATE the people I work with. New management has been taking over and I just don't feel in sync with the new culture.
How to handle a hypocrite commenting on how long your lunch is when that is not their position, and they take extremely long lunches themselves. (Keep in mind competitive co worker because I was elected for promotion)
Not only coworkers colleagues in college also
I really need to watch your videos. It's very educational 😍
i have a co-worker who has a medical condition and people make the rudest comments or stare at her. she is really young and had been bullied all her life because she has really bad jaundice and is yellow. i have been out of hearing range when she has been asked rudely asked by customers or she tells me after they left. i then just want to go full mom mode and rip people to shreds because i can clearly see they have hurt her feelings. what can i do as a co-worker when our mgr will not do anything?
Hi, thank you for your video, I've always struggled with thinking of what to say when someone is rude. Regardless of the setting. Do you think saying, oh okay , you're entitled to your own opinion is a fine response and then just change the topic afterwards (indicating that what they said didn't really matter to you ) what do you guys think ? I want a one liner that can just work for all rudeness, because im tired, and i don't like people having so much power over my emotions.
"So when are you going to retire?" Yes, I am over 60 but I am amused by that question. I have laughed and said "Why, do I look that beat up?" Motivation does matter. I know they do not mean it as an insult but depending on who it is, I have fun with it. Then I tell them my plans. lol
I suspected this video was too long to be effective and I was right. Ineffective and passive aggressive suggestions.
Mirror the absurdity. Love that one.
Me too. Oh and after you mirror it, then laugh. Boy that will make them think their question or remark was laughable and most importantly, not taken seriously by you. Lol
I find "I didn't ask" when someone says some annoying crap to me
Hey, I'm a fencer and I will take EVERY opportunity to challenge someone for a duel ⚔😆
I do not think co-workers are dumb, if they were who had hired them, right? This 'rudeness' is mostly observable in diverse teams and comes out of culture, mentality, bringing up and other personal features, maybe even psych. traumas. Besides it, sometimes we ourselves over react. The thing is what is rude for me, might be ok for another person. Of course, it is not nice situation, but no one is dumb, it sounds exactly like 'why do you still work if your husband is rich?' or what example was given by the narrator... I also think, topics that are suitable to discuss must be written in conduct code and this is a subject to check if the guidelines are followed during probation period, it helps to remove so called 'dumbness'. And another question, all these behavioural interviews... all these hours spent on infinite rounds, why??? Still do not want to think someone is dumb.
What if it's a blow below the belt?
Too many words and no examples of workplace situations I can use.
2:45 humans as opposed to....?
I would like to propose for future videos, not to call people DUMB. It defeats the purpose of this videos, also It shows lack of respect to the audience, and lack of unprofessionalism from your side Mrs. Jennifer. I strongly recommend using instead the word "Un-educated" which is a word that covers a bigger crowd and more people can relate 🙂👌
Thanks For Your Videos. Amazing Work 🙌
They're a parrot repeating what they heard and it does not apply to the situation
👑
😀
Well, Jennifer, you are rude for calling antisocial people “dumb.” Antisocial People that decided to watch your video to gain a social skill are offended. I'm offended for them. This is the 1st video of yours that I watched. Nope I won't be back here.
8:33
You talk to much and u say "nothing"
I'm guessing from your comment these videos are more about "you" than they are for you. She actually said quite a bit that can help a LOT of others to have better days at work. God bless....
Blah blah .....
Get rid of someone's music, friends and comfort you can change a lot of things.
Rude people 99.9% of the time are looking for a reaction. The reaction you provide is the reward. Don't give them one. Follow this simple rule and they will move on to someone who does.
I think when someone makes a underhanded comment , that’s challenging because I don’t want to appear triggered. They would just deny it. Next time I’m going to say “what do you mean?” Rude people are actually miserable inside and they hate happy people. I stay happy in front of them . They hate that😁
They sure do. I love being happy in front of miserable people.
"What do you mean by that?" works every time.
Yes, I've got a very nasty coworker now. I might use "what do you mean by that?" I'm nearly 59, dealing with foot drop, and honestly, I DGAF either.
good for you
I'm still working on not letting them trigger me
they can be so rude
It annoys them . I’m bubbly and get on with most people. Just carry on and be more bubbly lol it pisses them off
2:45 humans as opposed to....?
Had a coworker who would constantly make comments about my body. I just flat out ignored it. I later on overheard her talk about herself and how fat she is and told another coworker that I had "the perfect body". I just laughed to myself. Keep your insecurities at the door m'am.
It's sad that she lacks self love and is investing her time comparing herself to you.
@@JenniferBrick I had this problem at every job that I had unfortunately. I'm just confused as to what my slim body type has to do with the job 🤷🏾♀️
@@tazishagemini7513 they r body shaming so u can feel bad eat bad , become fat and then they can laugh at you. Just tell someone" I don't have time for this conversation I'm going to do my job"
@@RachelNdumia1 Funny thing is I went from 130 to 160 due to birth control, didn't really have a great diet but stayed active and drank a lot of water, and I was still the slimmest employee at my job due to having more muscle mass than fat. So if they want to try to body shame me, they just need to make sure they have the ideal body first 💁🏾♀️
I had a female boss who said to me in front of all office "you eat so little how come you are not thin?"
My former boss was condescending, and would say I was too confident and arrogant. My response was 'in my experience, the people who take notice of someone's confidence generally lack confidence in themselves.' She got defensive and I tuned her out.
Confidence is the opposite of arrogance
That's it. I do appear to be too confident. But the reality is that i am confident. However, the other person may not be confident about the success of the company. 😄
Probably meant arrogant.
My initial thought is jealousy because in the workplace coworkers are competitive with each other, which is why I don’t share personal achievements, vacation travels, or spouses occupation because those nosy coworkers will not hesitate to Google that job profession to get an estimate of what salary your spouse could be making. Coworkers sides themselves up against each other, rather it be where you shop for your clothes, food, to which community do you live to the type of car you drive to how you spend your weekends. I would shut down the nonsense by saying, “Are you done working for the day?” or “Should I tell the supervisor that you don’t have enough work to keep you busy?”
Redirecting is a good strategy.
Yes, I learned this in my last job. I let the two of them discuss their young children. I'm the odd one out as my kids are grown. Honestly, I've learned to not give a crap. Just too bad the one is a nasty one!
So basically most adults still act like children
I find the workplace generally is quite competitive. There is always small talk, like how old are your kids, are you going on holiday? There is always snide comments I find. The worst thing is though, when people are talking behind your back, I really hate that. I would rather they told me in front of my face
I'm with you on that! I don't mind people having opinions and things to say, but so often the complains, comments and passive aggressive deepen the issue that could be resolved with a direct conversation.
Its exhausting to deal with jealous rude troublemakers! You have to be on guard all the time and can't trust anyone. Its disappointing because you want to believe in others.
@@JenniferBrick Will not work at my workplace, the one mini boss says the term, I put in my time. He thinks he should not have to do anything. The other problem is that so many people at my workplace seem to have some sort of mental dysfunction. Not directly related to the mental issues, they have vices (drinking), they have to have their kids in sports (expensive). They pretend that they must be broke because they have lives and families, apparently I do not have what they think of as a life.
Dont hâte them, they need psycho treatment. Treat them as they are, mental patient.
I have mastered the art of ignoring. Don’t give it energy or your time. Being offended is a choice.
Agree with you so much on this!
I also give a steady eye contact without saying anything to try to make a point that I know I was just offended but don't give them any fuel to say how I rebuttled.
It’s water off a ducks back, that’s what I think
It depends. There are some things that can't and shouldn't be ignored.
yeah i agree. at work i have just enough energy to get work done. i barely have some energy to interact with co-workers. but i don't stand for any wise crack like if i don't go to company socials. i told that co-worker straight up that i have a life after work. that shut him up afterwards.
Mirror the absurdity is my personal favourite one here. A few years back I had a colleague who was born with a medical condition where her fingers didn't fully grow (both hands). A known obnoxious co-worker asked her in a rude way, "Where did you learn to write?" To which she cleverly responded, "Kindergarten, what about you?!?!?!"
I had a manager literally become very upset because she found out I didn't want to birth children. During our work-from home ''touch-base" phone calls, she was extremely defensive, aggressive & even tried age shaming me (I'm 29). She is now on maternity leave with her 'oops' baby (thank goodness). By the time she comes back next year I'll have long quit the company.
That none of her business. People should respect others personal choices. Everyone doesn't want motherhood.
I am a man who at 58 has never married or had kids.People at work judge me for that in a negative way.
Yeah it’s a lot of ageist assholes in the workplace towards us who are young and I’m shocked nobody discusses this. Especially when we don’t feed into the “young, dumb, and lost” persona the world paints all young people under this umbrella. There should be a law to not discriminate against anyone’s age but just older people.
I’m mature for my age, great work ethic, and conduct myself well but people has thrown my age up in my face through shady comments or they’ll act really weird because I’m young or blatantly ignore me. It’s like jealousy or something.
@@Fourwindsofsuccess They probably are jealous of the fact they're no longer your age. Not your fault you have more time on this planet than them! 🤷🏾♂️🤣
I am retiring at age 62. My coworkers give me a bad time, asking how I can retire. I tell them I am almost debt free and didn't buy a 400,000 house, so I don't have to work until I am 69. Usually shuts them up pretty quick.
A lot of the coworkers are into status symbols: cars, houses, clothing, etc. I am not. I bought a very modest home, i shop at thrift stores, and I buy used cars.
great job.
@@tobypeterson5867 Thanks.
happy retirement. how will you spend your time, just curious
@@lillianp8900 Hopefully, will be able to do some traveling. I will be moving, so I am hoping to get some type of mini farm set up.
atleast you no longer work if they are so “rich” then why are they still in work
There is a female co-worker who was nice to me when I was overweight but as soon as I dropped thirty pounds she got mad 🙄
Yeah... most women are so competitive with each other. I don't understand it. I don't compete with anyone but myself. I don't compare myself to anyone, because I don't see the point.
Most fat women are jealous
...So many rude comments at work. I almost always freeze! I'm usually shocked, by how rude they are. It's a daily challenge. I think it's best to ignore it...because it doesn't deserve a response.
It deserves a response because of you don’t say anything the person will keep behaving like this. It’s ok to set boundaries
@@coldcloakmusic6630 That can be easier said than done though. Especially if you're not a particularly confident or confrontational person.
I agree!
@@coldcloakmusic6630 Let them keep behaving like that. Why are they doing it in the first place? Most likely it's to get some sort of reaction.
@@coldcloakmusic6630 not always.
Sometimes just asking what they meant by their comment will stop them in their tracks
Its just SOOOOO disappointing dealing with them when the job is actually pretty decent ---/ #vampires
I think people get rude if they lose respect for another employee too. Sometimes, it’s the company culture that starts at the top.
Definitely.
It always starts at the top.
My coworker and I were hired at the same time. They are intimidated by how quickly I learn and pick up on things. I have gone out of my way to help them. It has backfired and they tried to throw me under the bus because they didn’t understand the process. I have to work with this person, so I will continue to help them. I’m definitely not going out of my way to help them though. I understand that they have insecurities, so I’m definitely keeping it strictly business from now on. No more side convos. 🤷🏽♀️
What is your advice for someone whose coworker has wrongfully (and dramatically ) tried to turn other coworkers against her? Kinda awkward when you come to work and everyone is suddenly rude to you or doesn’t talk to you...
Get a lawyer and sue them for slander.
That happened to me too.
I like the video she did on "why don't my coworkers like me." She drove home the point that we don't need friends at work.. I understand your situation bc I have the same scenario, but after a few days of a mindset that I'm working alone (pretend it's just me).. some noticed and asked me if I'm ok. My cheery "not at all" reply had them thinking and they've either left me alone or smile when passing now etc. Not a complete fix, but I feel more in control of my circumstance. Good luck
I like it when my coworkers don't talk to me. I don't trust any of them, so I don't talk to them either.
@@PerrySkyePhoenixthis is amazing and where I’m tryna get
Tired of people asking me why I'm not married with children.
Usually my friend just replays 'because I can and I won't.'
In my experience, it's been jealousy or just plain immaturity. Very helpful vid. Thanks. When people crap on your life's work, it's not fun.
Backstabbing and poor management made me quit a job I loved - sad
I'm retired now but when I step out the door, I tell myself, "Be a lady, keep cool, don't overreact to whatever rude comments and behaviors I'm might come across."
Lucky you. I can't wait to retire from all of this bs.
Hypervigilance.
As I look younger than I am I often get rude and irrelevant comments about my perceived youngness and ipso facto inexperience. I just use it as ammo as I like to surprise people with my ability to do my job really well due to my experience - which has nothing to do with my age!
This is for young folks esp Best to listen and observe. Let them do the talking when you go to a new job or first job. Keep your head down, be cordial and appear shy. And find an older friendly competent worker and be a sponge around them!
Don't trust anyone.
Sometimes you have say what's on your mind. Let people know where the line is and don't cross it. Telling someone to drink a tall,frosty glass of kiss my @$$ tends to get the point across with some while others you may have to dumb it down for them.
Having firm boundaries is important.
Not having social skills doesn't mean you're dumb. Not everyone excels in every aspect but you can always find what you're good at and be the expert in that. :)
This is such a good topic!!! I’m no longer at a corporate job but found this helpful!
I had a co-worker who seemed to delight in telling me I looked tired, or looked like I didn't feel well. She was a catty gossip, maybe she thought I had some personal drama going on that I was going to fill her in on, I don't know. I naturally have dark circles under my eyes, and by mid-afternoon if I don't touch up my makeup they become more obvious. Also, after staring at a computer screen all day my eyes get strained. But her constant put-downs and telling me how awful I looked were really tiresome. I finally told her, "Gee thanks, Sue! Glad to know I look like s***."
When somebody asks you a rude question, just say "it's none of your business". Be professional so they cannot accuse you of swearing but don't worry about being liked. Just be respected. I wouldn't even worry about analysing their possible motivation or even trying to de-personalise the verbal attack. Who cares? I wouldn't even try to be witty or try to make a point by showing how stupid the comment is. That's like tip toeing around them. Tell them straight in a professional manner. And yes, "it's none of your business" is a perfectly acceptable response.
Idk whether it is right, my narc coworker Recently tried to insult me in front of my clients, that I am not competent to work, I am lazy, I do everything slowly, etc. Even though I felt disturbed, I instantly told to mind her f#*king business. And she argued further. And I shut her further. And sent her off. But only after she was done with shouting, she left.
I informed it to my senior officer, who doesn't understand and he called it as Coworker stunt and he will terminate both of us further. I said nothing is my mistake and she just tortures me. And took some time and confronted her later and she started shouting even more. And insulting me further. I instantly told her that she has a disorder. And she repeated. Finally I gave a 😤🤬 and left the place. Idk whether my jov is under fire, but can't bear the tension.
I was literally accused of being a child murderer by a co-worker after I came back from Afghanistan. If that's projection I wonder what that co-worker was really up to.
@Christopher Jacobs I didnt have to. They killed themselves.
Whoa, what's the back story on this, Bryan?
Thats nota wrong
@@StevieSparkZduh he fought one of a,Erica’s needless invasion which always kill more civilians than anyone else. Have you studied any America history?
It’s not projection. Some people are awake to the American war machine. Wikileaks revealed that to the most asleep. Not your fault though, you just followed orders and needed a job.
I'm a waiter at a restaurant and one of our team members got off with three other members and sat in my section and I politely asked "hey is there anything I can get you folks" and he said "no nothing from you" and that really pissed me off however another team member also said that's a rude comment and I just said "I know right" and it's been getting me ever since but these UA-cam videos have been helping me 👊
I like the tactic of pausing for 6 seconds because it can make the rude person squirm!!
It does make them squirm. Keeping calm and taking that breath while staring at them is quite effective, haha!
Just play Dumb! It's a cop-out but it works every time without backfire