Ranking all vampires ever.
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- If you like Scaredy-Cats, consider supporting us on Patreon:
/ scaredycats
No blood sacrifice is required (though all are appreciated).
Theme music generously donated by Intellectual Dark Wave:
/ @intellectualdarkwave
Buy a shirt why dontcha?:
thoughtslimesho...
Conveniently, Vampire the Masquerade draws so extensively from the entirety of vampire pop-culture and mythology that the categories of this video map almost perfectly to the various clans in the setting.
Yep this
@@Cynbel_Terreus Which one maps to Bunnicula? That seems more like a WoD Changeling to me.
@@Titleknown Gangrel in rabbit form
@@Titleknown as @SamuraiMujuru said "map almost perfectly" but yeah we can go with Gangrel
I could be mistaken, but i heard that twilight used a VtM species for the glittering aspect.
Having Bobby try for an interruption at mention of worm slurping was a good one
Oh thank you for explaining that aside
Watching this I was waiting for the babadook worm joke, and then choosing not to make the obvious joke made me lol
Omg that totally went over my head! Great catch!
But it was good to see Mil-Dread put his foot down and not put up with abuse.
I understood this joke, but not because I’ve seen The Babadook.
I haven’t, but because it is I
Huge Fan of da channel.
Tanks for da enlightenment Mildo.
Thanks for pointing out that Carmilla predates Dracula. Also, Varney the Vampire was a thing.
I love how he got shouted out in Castlevania S4, played by the incomparable Malcolm McDowell.
Thanks? What, are you the author?
The fact that Blackula may contain the first example of the vampire reincarnation romance trope is both incredible and significantly ups its horniness points
The fact that it became a staple of almost all Draculas since while the film is often derided...
It is the old rule: white people love stuff from black cultures/artists/ideas, they just don't like black people.
I commented too soon, Bunnicula owns. "The Celery Stalks at Midnight" is such a banger of a book title.
Howliday Inn was my favorite book as a kid. That should have been a warning sign, of something.
@@jamesrule1338Looovvvved these books growing up!! They're so good!
I would watch a two-hour video of Mildred discussing Forever Knight. The entire thing was on Hulu when I was in college and I was OBSESSED.
Careful what you wish for
I watched out of sequence reruns on the Sci-Fi channel as a kid. And you better believe I bought the complete series on DVD as soon as it became available.
@@ScaredyCatsTV I would also tune in for that one, especially if you contextualize Forever Knight within the '90s trend for shows about characters who just kind of wander around meddling.
Nick Knight (middle name At, I hope) had the excuse of being a detective but like, he could've done anything, he chose a profession that would let him meddle in other people's business. Highlander has the excuse of The Game but from what little I remember of that show, he did his share of side quests that weren't really any of his concern.
Even Hercules and Xena were basically this kind of show, just set in antiquity. Then there were your Renegades and your Martial Laws where the meddlers weren't supernatural, they just had a motorcycle or were Sammo Hung.
Obviously this subgenre stretches way back, The Fugitive was that kind of series and the supernatural version maybe began with the Incredible Hulk show? My vibe check is that the subgenre was revived by MacGyver and Murder She Wrote and then became so widespread in the '90s because those were perfect shows for cable syndication, since every episode was a self-contained story and the high concept was usually summed up in the intro.
I forgot where I was going with this bc I also have ADHD (btw I really loved your ADHD video). I liked Forever Knight too? High five? Maybe that was my point. Great video, I hope this pointlessly long comment registers to UA-cam as Engagement+ and you get algo credit for it.
@@ScaredyCatsTV As you wish-ah
@@ScaredyCatsTV Returning here to say I do not regret wishing for this in the SLIGHTEST.
Please drop everything and turn this into a 100% Forever Knight channel immediately! The world needs that sort of positivity in these dark times.
Seconded.
AAh i remember that series.
But please skip season 3 :(
agree 10/10 not to give you ANOTHER project but would very much subscribe and follow a Forever Knight episode series.
Words cannot express how excited I am to hear you talk about Forever Knight on this channel!
Point of order: Ravenloft the original DnD module that introduced Strahd was released in 1983, three years before Castlevania.
Point of order: thanks for letting me know
I desperately, desperately need the full length video analyzing Count Duckula's fuckability
I love John Carpenter's vampires. And also kind of love the wacky idea that Master Vampires are just immortal and invincible at night, with only sunlight being their weakness, a thing they know so you are mostly boned.
Luckily, I have that movie on VHS, so the empty DVD-boxes did not deter me.
I also love this movie mostly because I used to watch it with my grandma..I really need to get a copy of the book it's based off of tho
@@midian_lament3458 the book is one of my very faves of all time - the movie captures the “feel” of the vampires in the book perfectly, but the book is just a whole other experience
James Woods before we knew him as your average Fox News watching miserable old man. He was friggin great in this. I guess he is another Boomer that 9/11 made into a crazy douchebag I guess. I suppose Fox is a real life Videodrome?
There are dozens of us!
Only Lovers Left Alive seems like it has some good contenders. They're pretty hot, pretty threatening, and have great vampire vibes. I'd personally put them real high, but I might be biased bc I love Jim Jarmusch.
Good vampires, I wasn't the biggest fan of the film, stylish but not much to it.
Agreed! Love sad musician Tom Hiddleston vampire and quirky artsy Tilda Swinton vampire and old John Hurt vampire
@@kohhna the "plot" is kinda subtle but honestly the only real plot that a vampire protagonist story can have: the fight against ennui. adam is planning to kill himself in the beginning and eve senses this and comes to talk him down. it seems like it's just a bunch of vampires hanging around chatting, but.. that's the point. that's what life IS for them, just centuries of hanging around chatting, and that's also their biggest enemy. it's a quiet love story about two people trying to stave off suicidal ideation together.
and his guitars sound like good drugs
Definitely a regretful oversight, I hope one day Mildo can see this movie because I think they would fuck with it
I've had such a stressful day and a new Scaredy Cats video on my special interest is absolutely just what I needed. I'm glad you exist.
I came for Mil-Dread's analysis of the titular vampire in "The Night Flier", but am left bereft. Truly, the most terror inducing thing is the longing.
I'd say: Horniness low, vibes decent, creepiness significant. One of King's more effective variations on the theme. A+ or Bat.
If we fall back on the initial premise of them being types of vampire, it's gotta be in the Nosferatu vein.
Book was good
you know, i once heard a youtuber rant about maven of the eventide and how her content pool was "so limited" because she only chose to review vampire media. and it's like... dracula is one of the most represented characters in movies, you could make a career out of him alone.
Oh wow, she's still making videos! I used to be a massive fan but haven't watched her for ages.
There are scholars who dedicate their entire academic career to (primarily) the works of one author. I don't see anyone calling them out.
There's so much vampire media she can do it her whole life and still not cover everything
Honestly, you should check out Adventure Time - they have some damn good vampires (albeit, they don't show up that much until the Stakes miniseries.)
The vibes are off the charts in Stakes
Forever Knight deserves A+ tier for Lucien LaCroix alone.
Everyone thinks I pronounce the name of that fruit-tinged fizzy water weird, thanks to Forever Knight. LaCroix was a great character though, equal parts antagonist and ally. Is he going to embrace you as a prodigal son, or brutally tear your head off? You don't know!
The Vampire: the Masquerade vampires are honestly absolutely top tier. Horniness ranges from human-but-messed-up to full on cenobite. Vibes are all the way up there, with really cool powers and all sorts of folklore pulled in and over the top melodramatic nonsense as a focus. Scariness goes from WWDITS up to raging blood god from before the flood. True Blood, WWDITS, and Underworld + The Crow at minimum
I think the vampires from Vampire: The Masquerade are the best vampires, because they offer a diversity of vampire "types" (bloodlines) that all share a unified, consistent mythology (they all ultimately descend from Caine, as in "Cain & Abel," who was cursed with the 'mark' of vampirism as punishment for his fratricide, then went on to found the first city). I mean, they've got:
- Anarchist punk vampires (the Brujah bloodline)
- Capitalist vampires (the Ventrue)
- Artsy-fartsy vampires (the Toreador)
- Wizard vampires (the Tremere)
- Ugly vampires (the Nosferatu)
- Even uglier vampires (the Samedi)
- Completely insane vampires (the Malkavians)
- Werewolfy vampires (the Gangrel, my personal faves)
- Middle Eastern vampires (the Assamites)
- Mafioso necromancer vampires (the Giovanni)
- Flesh-sculpting vampires (the Tzimisce - this was Vlad Tepes'/Dracula's bloodline in the game's mythology)
- Roma vampires (the Ravnos)
- Egyptian vampires (the Setites)
- Devil-worshiping vampires (the Baali)
- Three-eyed vampire psychic healers (the Salubri)
- Many, many more bloodlines...
All of these different types of vampires are presented with complex, elaborate, and interwoven histories, social and political structures, philosophies, and attitudes to human society. They also coexist in a Gothic-Punk World of Darkness together with Werewolves, Wizards, Ghosts, Faeries, Mummies, and other unusual beings, all with their own equally elaborate and detailed societies, cultures, histories, and variants (among the World of Darkness' faeries, for example, one can find Pookas, Nockers, Eshu, Satyrs, Redcaps, Sluagh, and Trolls).
I don't think there's any other modern vampire mythology that even comes close. "What We Do In The Shadows" is great, though!
This is canonically the same universe as the munsters
larping is pretty cringe, don't go that far into it
@@rickc2102 The tabletop RPG came before the LARP. I don't like LARPing, either.
@@rickc2102ehh, fun is fun
Idk much about Vampire: The Masquerade, but it sounds like the Brujah are the best just from that short description.
Nicolas Cage in the movie Renfield did a great Dracula parody, but he doesn't exactly have a whole lot of screen time. It's basically an over the top performance that fits right in with the plot, with a lot of blood and gore. Funny as hell. Everyone should check it out.
He's fantastic, love him chewing the scenery of every scene he's in, especially in Renfield's apartment omg "However I'm! The real! Victim! Heeere!!"
@Kagomai15 that's one of my favorite scenes too! The whole aesthetic of the apartment Renfield decorated, the welcome mat joke, it's so damn over the top. It's really hard to make a funny movie whose main theme is emotional abuse. I suffered extreme emotional abuse for 7 years, and I was laughing my ass off and recognizing that the words in the script were so similar to the trauma I experienced at the same time. It was kind of cathartic. I've watched it like three times already.
@@MG-hz7wi oh my gosh I love Renfield's apartment and his clothes soooo much! And I'm glad you survived that, and that the movie was cathartic for you! ♡
I can’t decide if he is a Silly Dracula, or a Not Silly Dracula for this list. 🤔
Using the guidelines here, I know that the movie is a parody and meant to be funny. But Dracula is still a serious threat. A violent, brutalizing monster AND mental manipulator. Within the context of that movie, he is NOT to be taken lightly. So I’m leaning more toward Not Silly Dracula.
The difference between O+ Tier and Coffin Tier is so drastic, I hesitate to commit. Any thoughts? 🤔
@@BluchamI think the silliness is a manipulation tactic. He's silly when he wants something or it's useful, but his true self is just brutal cruelty.
OMG I love Forever Knight so much and look forward to your potential discussions of it.
I second that. I too was really into Forever Knight as an almost-teen. Would love to see more content about it.
yes more people who know of it!
I'm reminded why I love Mildread so much when they just casually drop Romero's "Martin" in casually during a joke. Love Mildread's love for horror cinema and even the stuff most folks never care to watch or have heard of 😍😍🖤🖤
I do think you would enjoy Adventure Time vampires. The "Stakes" special is worth a watch.
Adventure Time Stakes could be a whole ass video!
There's still room for soooooo many more vampires. Alucard from Hellsing for instance (I feel he's distinct enough from the other Draculas) or Asterion from Baldur's Gate 3 for instance. (For next year's 4 hour long video.)
alucard is pretty unique but asterion is a lestat
@@Vallam23 Completely fair and yet I feel his sass would be well received by Mildread.
I quite liked the vampires in UK Being Human. There's a whole thing in the first season where, for the first bit, the main character vampire's basically harmless. Then, at the season finale, something happens and he goes all proper horror movie monster doing a proper horror movie assault, and the juxtaposition really ramps up the scary factor for me. I also don't really remember anything about the show, but I do remember that, and also that the guy's master was terrifying.
I very much enjoyed the the main vamp's master, Herrick. The quiet, polite and charming facade made them that much more sinister
They had the fun quirk that vampires drink blood basically to keep their consciences quiet. They don't seem to need it to live, but if they don't drink blood, they start to be tormented by guilt and it's too much to deal with.
I *still* love that show. I tried watching the U.S version (at the behest of a few people) and only made it partway through the first season; it was like the folks on this side of the pond took the beats of the storylines and were like; "Ok, what if we keep the same beginning and reveal but do everything in the middle completely backwards and opposite character motivations? People will love *that* right?" It was asinine.
This inspired me to finally knock Shiki off my to-watch list just to see how it stacks up to this metric. Also, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is top tier; sexy, scary, and the vibes are a bit unconventional, but definitely off-the-charts. If you want modern vampires, but something more serious and melancholic than WWDitS, here's a category: Goth Vampires. You could probably put fold these in with Anne Rice, but it would also include The Hunger, Only Lovers Left Alive, Kiss of the Damned, and maybe The Lost Boys and A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night as well, come to think of it.
Shiki! Shiki! Shiki! (I'm in the midst of my yearly re-watch)
Shiki is a great one. I'd also recommend Blood: The Last Vampire / Blood+ if you want more anime vampires.
crossing my fingers for Marceline or The Vampire King to get mentioned
screaming and crying and beating on the ground inconsolable
Well, since you asked: You missed all the various archetypes of non-Jojo anime vampires. Your Vampire Hunters D, your Hellsing eldritch monstrosities dressed like Carmen Sandiego and those generic ones that look like waifu dolls wearing inappropriate costumes...
I wanted a mention of Vampire Hunter D too, but then I realized the spookies were mostly mutants, and then there's just a Dracula family, a Carmilla, and Meier Link. Right? There are at least 40 D novels, though, so surely you got plenty of vamps rockin' it out in those.
Blood+ that was a good anime.
Adventure Time had fun vampires.
Thank you so much for your excellent work. You are a truly a unique and seemingly deeply authentic creator who just loves spooky stuff and empathic cognitive thought. I really appreciate your refreshing and excellent contributions. Hope you have a lovely thinning of the veil and are watching something spooky!
I watched this literally minutes after finishing Strahd Must Die 3: Strahd in Space! Strahd Must Die is a series of one-shots where you boss rush Strahd in 4 real-life hours or less (I've played all three as of like an hour ago). If the time runs out, you lose. I'm also in a CoS campaign at the moment, but it's still in the early stages so I can't comment on whether he fits well into a long-term campaign or not, but he fills the role of one-shot BBEG _very_ well. I definitely recommend the one-shots, they were quite fun and did a good job of giving the players a fair chance without deflating Strahd's menace.
Horror DND is a very interesting space to navigate from a game design perspective - how do you make the monsters _threatening_ enough to be scary without also making them very lethal or a chore to fight? Answers vary, of course, it's a cursed design problem (heh). The goals in tension with one another are [make the game fair] and [make the game genuinely scary, i.e. threatening]. There's no single right answer to that, of course. Any solution is necessarily going to be a trade-off between those goals. The bluntest way to navigate that is just to remove one of the goals - either your party plays a high-lethality campaign where a TPK and losing the campaign is a very strong possibility, or you decide that being actually scary isn't a priority, maybe it's more of a campy campaign, or it just uses the aesthetics of horror without the _stakes_ of horror. And there all sorts of ways to walk in between. I saw a video about how to run good horror in DND a long time ago, and I can't for the life of me remember who made it, but the author essentially presented an alternate style of DND with different goals and affordances, it was really cool, I promise.
That sounds amazing. Is there a Spelljammer one-shot?
@@JamiesonHorton Yes! Or, maybe sort of? In Strahd Must Die 3: Strahd in Space! the party discovers that Strahd has turned his castle into a spelljammer (the lady he's obsessed with fled to a different plane). It takes off *right* as the party enters the castle. We had a random event where a spelljammer full of 4 incompetent Minithids (Illithids made from gnomes) crashed into the castle. We befriended them and they helped us beat Strahd. They piloted the castle to Baldur's Gate afterwards and we hitched a ride. Apparently they were late for an invasion or something?
Anyways, the one-shots were all delightful.
"Piloted the castle" is one of those things that I love about D&D
1) "Bunicula" was also my favorite book as a child. I wrote to the author, and he actually wrote back!
2) "I don't want them to get me; they're too vaguely European." Perfection.
3) I am a scientist, and although I am not a scientist of vampires, I can confirm that your tier list is 100% scientifically accurate.
I was also obsessed with Forever Knight as a kid, glad to be reminded of it
The Megan Follows narrated version of Carmella is amazing and one of those things that can remind a person that you and your little friends didn't invent being gay.
I think Count von Count is a real vampire, he's just hiding in plain sight
"It should get old, but it's Matt Berry" is a pretty good summation of Matt Berry's comedic career.
Gotta give it up for sapphic vampire Marceline from Adventure Time and whatever the boy version of sapphic is for Marshall Lee from Fionna & Cake
Surprised you didn't at least mention Marceline the Vampire Queen
Legacy of Kain is very cool, amazing writing. Or at least the Soul Reaver/Defiance trilogy is. Definitely give it a go if you get a chance.
The original Blood Omen is also excellent (if significantly more dated), all the awesome writing and voice acting is there at its core. The one game in the bunch I feel dubious about is Blood Omen II.
High on spook and vibe. I'd have knocked them down on horn but those voices...
Some of the best writing in popular media. Too bad it got freaking abandoned on a goddamned cliffhanger. Lots of people want to see a reboot. Not me, I doubt the writing capabilities unless they get Amy Hennig back, then I'd be more interested in a reboot. We'd really be better off with a total port of the franchise. And soon, so many of the voice actors are already dead, and many of the rest are quite old, like Michael Bell, the terrific voice of Raziel. And don't tell me he's trapped in the Soul Reaver, so shouldn't be cast, I sincerely think they'd find a way to bring him back, even if it's due to time travel shenanigans.
@@Craxin01I want Soul Reaver to end right where it was. I saw some concepts for a new game and it looked meh. I don't feel like it ended on a cliffhanger, more like an open ending. And do we want more Soul Reaver without Raziel?
@@Geospasmic You can't have a new Soul Reaver without Raziel. Don't forget, however, the series is Legacy of Kain.
I love it when a parody of a genre is itself at or near the pinnacle of the genre
I wish you'd had vampire hunter D or Hellsing on the list.
I cannot tell you how happy I was to see Forever Knight on this list. My aunt used to literally tape it on VHS and mail them to me as a kid so I could watch. Same with Dark Shadows.
....Oh. A lot of things suddenly make a lot more sense about me now.
I feel like Lucy Westenra deserves a category of her own and her tier should be AB+ because she got a lot of blood transfusions from a lot of different people in a time before we even knew about blood types so that's probably her blood type
I read about a story where Dracula was trying to SAVE Lucy from having all these bad blood transfusions that don't work! And immediately thought, look, I'm all for remixes of classic literature, but Drac, honey, Draccy-poo, if you didn't want her to have bad blood transfusions, then one of the things you could have done is, you could have not drank all her blood. That was a thing you could have not done.
She's under Dracula's umbrella
Carmilla is one of the stories in the scariest book ever written, "In A Glass Darkly" (an anthology book) by Joseph Sheridan Lefanu. Read it immediately. The whole book.
"Green Tea" is a fucking trip.
I have a soft spot for Vamp. I'm glad that it is on your list. It's a bit 80's campy so align your expectations accordingly. If for nothing else it's worth it for the performances of Grace Jones and the late Billy Drago.
As someone who played a lot of Vampire: the Masquerade, I'd say it's in a tier of its own. Vampires in that setting are everything a vampire could be, often at the same time, even if its contradictory. But it's also best to ignoring everything that came after the original line concluded since the world literally ended with every single type of possible apocalypse happening at once.
As a lover of the spooky medias whose watching of horror medias consists almost entirely of watching Scaredy Cats with my hands over my eyes, I recognize and appreciate your unspoken distinction.
do what i do and have it in a tab you arent looking at but like only one over so you can flip between it and your safety tab
Personally, I find that all the vampires that proudly fought for the Confederacy are always in the discarded trash pile when I rank them. Edit: Also, those who may not have been a Greycoat but are/were slave owners. Edit Edit: Also, I would not do Lestat. But I'm ace, so...I wouldn't do anyone.
I wouldn't fangbang lestat, but I'd love to just snuggle with louis for a while
Fellow ace, can confirm Lestat does nothing for me but I would love to get to know that supervampire from Blade 2.
I must admit i was disappointed that the Adventure Time vampires did not get a rating. Granted, that may have been airing at a time you weren't watching cartoons so I do get it, but would have been fun
Oh my GODS! I loved Forever Knight. Please do an episode on that classic!
The thing with _Vampire the Masquerade_ is that several/most/probably all clans in the game world are versions of vampire types that you did individually rank there. Most obviously the Nosferatu clan is of the Nosferatu variety. Another clan is definitively based on Anne Rice _Vampire Cronicles_ vibes, but don't ask me what that clan's name is! Might be Ventru? That's my best guess, and I won't look it up. Some clan is based on _Lost Boys_ vibes. No idea what they're called, and I can't even make a guess on that one.
So when you're ranking types of vampires, it doesn't really make sense to award those of VtM a single rating. If you have to, then they're mid tier by design, because they're intended to be covering all bases which aberages out to mid. And ranking the different VtM vampires individually would be redundant, because all of them are just meant to capture and codify something else of which the original should be ranked instead.
Now, types of vampires you regrettably failed to address:
The Fades - they technically match your criteria. They're blending spectre, vampire, and zombie; with vampire being very understated, but it's still there.
The vampire emoji:
🧛🧛🏻🧛🏼🧛🏽🧛🏾🧛🏿
🧛♀️🧛🏻♀️🧛🏼♀️🧛🏽♀️🧛🏾♀️🧛🏿♀️
🧛♂️🧛🏻♂️🧛🏼♂️🧛🏽♂️🧛🏾♂️🧛🏿♂️
The vampires from the _Poltergeist: The Legacy_ two parter _Darkness Falls / Light of Day_ - who preserved secret ancient knowledge of alchemy and such, and who don't have a reflection but use their mesmerism ability to make the vampire hunter _think_ they saw them in the mirror. - They're Draculas, yes, but really clever ones, really trying to do something new with the concept without actually changing the concept itself. I love how they assemble on a table everything that's supposed to work against vampires, because they had no idea which of those things would actually work, so better have all of them. No ancient tome and no seasoned vampire hunter to give them the rundown of how vampires in that universe work. They also didn't just go with the assumption that the first three things everybody knows about vampires from pop culture must be totally true. The Legacy would have the most perfect explanation for why they don't need to first figure things out about vampires. But they instead incorporated the true fact that vampire lore is varied and if you had to deal with something that you somehow knew and believed to be a vampire, that wouldn't be straightforward at all.
Currently playing a curse of strahd campaign and you have given me some key information that i believe my dm would've withheld
Starting to realize " I saw John Carpenter's Vampires... in a theater" is more of a humble brag than I imagined
like, more humble or more brag?
There are dozens of us!
6:18 The Tabletop RPG Vampire the Masquerade has an entire linage of deformed vampires called "Nosferatu".
I would love to hear your take on Hellsing, the manga about a Dracula who joins the vampire hunter side, and it has a lot of anime as fuck vampires in that one. Hellsing Ultimate specifically is a well animated adaptation, but mostly id like hear what you think of Hellsing Abridged, which is a halloween staple at my house, where I rewarch Team Four Stars comedic masterpiece each year for spooky season. Alucard is technically a dracula, but he feels like a different enough character than your classic dracula that he coild have been a seperate character on your list.
Kind of would have liked to hear thoughts on Marceline the Vampire Queen from Adventure Time. I know she really just drinks the color red but her vampire powers come from actual vampires that atleast seem undead amd definitely drink blood. I enjoy your content btw!
since it wasn`t mentioned, actual vampires in jojo, boring, terrible, sometimes terrifyingly weird, pilar man on the other hand are a+ vampires, so thirsty they created the actual vampires just to eat them because it is better than eating a lot of living things one by one
I am definitely horny for the Pillar Men
Yeah honestly Dio isn’t that good of a vampire. I’m pretty sure most of us forgot he WAS a vampire in part 3
He does have the thing where he can squeeze fluid out of his eyes hard enough to kill someone though. I don't think that's necessarily scary or horny or has vampire vibes but it does kinda kick ass
Jojo vampires are INCREDIBLY horny.
Which may not be much, looking at how horny the series can be overall, but still.
Agreed across the board, the vampires in Part One are pretty mediocre despite Part One itself not being that bad as a pulp action romp, whereas the Pillar Men from Part Two are delightfully bizarre and entertaining and have pretty strong vibes despite being less "spooky" than "cool," and Dio himself in the later parts is very fun but his vampiric nature is kind of secondary to his being just a freaky villain what cannot be stopped and causes problems on a generational scale. That said, horny? *Intensely.*
It's great to see you again! Always a treat when you post.
You're seriously missing out with the Legacy of Kain series. It's some of the best writing in any form of popular media, much less just videogames. A lot of philosophy and lore that is just top tier.
I thought Legacy of Kain was an ARPG like God of War. Not a genre I expect much from in the way of philosophy or lore. I guess I'll go check it out.
@@ryanandrews7761it's a very basic third person action platformer, nothing really special. It's the cutscenes that really make the game.
@@ryanandrews7761 Some of the titles sort of are? They switch genres a fair bit over the course of the franchise, but if you can abide dated controls the story in them is O+
In the 90s our small VFX studio was approached to help animate a syndicated show called "VAN-PIRES". It was so stupid I hoped we'd get the gig. Then the producers were offended that we wouldn't work for free ("just think of the exposure you're turning down!") If you encounter it, might be worth a hate-watch with friends.
It is the stupidest
I absolutely love the 30 days of night vampires. I loved the movie too. I have no idea how it wasn’t a good movie…the story was solid as hell. The vamps are super unique in their hierarchy, way they talk, their look, and their blood thirst savagery was second to none.
Didn't see the movie but the comic art rules. I love how horrid the faces are.
I have a real soft spot for that film, because the premise is so simple it astounds me it had never been done before, and the creatures themselves were a really unique take that hit right before the complete over-saturation of vampire-like boogums in all media.
I wasn’t a fan of the whitewashing in that film or Raimi acting like he couldn’t hire an Indigenous lead actor because they all disappeared from the face of the earth.
The shot and chaser of having Jojo mentioned and then immediately discarded. I needed that
I watched "Fresh" last night and it's excellent! I would love to see a Mil-Dread take on it in a future video!
Absolutely hilarious and objectively spot-on rankings. Pure gold, Mil.
Call of the Night might be an interesting one for you to check out, considering how surprisingly in-depth it manages to get with its vampiric lore
Matt/Mil-Dread/Thought Slime has blessed ALL of our candy baskets this year with this little treat of a video.
The Strain barely got a mention😔. They are very low on horniness and mid on vibes, but those wormies are pretty scary! Also not undead arguably. Anyway this comment is for the algorithm, great vid!
Pseudo-vamps.
They pay me in woims!
They're Strigoi
Somewhere in a closet is a pile of vhs tapes I used to record Forever Knight, which aired past my bedtime. I cannot express how excited I am for a FK episode!
Oh boy, if the film version of Let the Right One In made you deeply uncomfortable with the abuse subtext, the novel is *way* more direct about what Håkan's deal was before meeting Eli, and it's very upsetting and unsettling-or, to use Neil Gaiman's term, upsettling. That said, if we remove the horniness category and replace it with, I dunno, vampiric charisma or speaking to the universal human need for connection or something, I think Eli ranks quite high both as an actual character and as an absolute nightmare creature. Like she brutally murders the shit out of several people while remaining consistently sympathetic. But I'm biased because that novel is probably my favourite piece of mainstream-ish vampire fiction, so maybe count me out on those grounds.
Also, shoutout to the vampires from Tim Powers' novel The Stress of Her Regard, which several people have argued did the whole sparkly sexy vampire thing a decade-plus before Twilight to decidedly creepier effect, but which I cannot vouch for firsthand; the half-vampire protagonist's full-blooded family in Thomas Ligotti's short story "The Lost Art of Twilight", who are functionally a metaphor for the romanticisation and reality of depression and consequently incredibly scary but are only really "onscreen" for the last few pages of a fairly brief story; and the clan of motherly vampires in Conrad Williams' "Outfangthief", who are super freaky but decidedly less freaky than the story's main antagonist, who is horrifying and gross in a decidedly human way, lending the whole thing a "Clive Barker's 'The Hellbound Heart' but not the fun kind of weird-horny" energy.
I remember picking the book up after seeing the original film and very quickly realising why they hadn't done a more direct adaptation of some elements 😬
HELL YES MILDO GOT THEIR HALLOWEEN SPECIAL ON TIME!!! GOOD JOB
Mr. Burns! He's the only vampire who asks you to wash your neck in advance.
Highly recommend the Soul Reaver games! The dialogue and atmosphere are superb~
You are a joy to listen to yet again! Super entertaining and funny. Your writing and delivery, plus your trademark humor.
_Near Dark_ is like an anti-Dracula/Lestat, it strips away all the romantic myth and mystery and just leaves the vamps with a miserable and empty non-life.
I'm not sure how niche this is, but the Necroscope series of books has some pretty great vamps - their scariness is off the charts for the same reason their vibes go in all directions - they change over the course of their unlife, with the most ancient vampires ranging from feral, furry, hulking, beclawed monstrosities, to eldritch, barely recognizable as ever been human, nightmarish abominations
Their horniness is also a major factor of the books, hell, a point is made that throughout an infinite lifespan your sexual tastes can get WEIRD and they turn their human lovers and concubines, both willing and enthralled, into abominable weird things just for the sake of weird vampiric sex
Also, it's weird to me hearing people consider Jiangshi as vampire-adjacent since as reanimated corpses controlled by a spellcaster through seals with specifc commands, they feel much closer to Voodoo Zombies than Vampires
I think you're discounting vampire dairies style vampires a little easily. at least the first few seasons have some really fun bits of vampire lore with the "can't enter unless invited."
The Carmilla novel legitimately reads like it was written by a 19 year old girl, which I think is great from a vibes perspective. Can recommend. Carmilla turns into a giant cat when she feeds, it's great.
Highly recommend the film "Strigoi" it's that eastern folklore sort where a vamp is just more annoying than scary. Vibe is like if The Big Labowski was a vampire movie
i watched "the addiction" directed by abel ferrara recently and that movie honestly has some pretty good vamps. solid recommend.
I love the Legacy of Kain games so much, but they're so hard to recommend to people. It's a great story and a unique vampire mythos across a handful of games that are all... Just okay at best.
Yeah, I love them so much and played them all around their respective releases, but I can't imagine any of them being especially playable anymore.
nah, lok:sr still rules. the ending feels a little rushed, but apart from that i think it's really solid, even by modern standards.
As a fellow Canadian I cannot believe that I have not seen Forever Knight or ever even heard anyone talk about it. It seemed right up my alley. I have started watching it since this video went live and I am enjoying it quite a bit.
Im currently reading Fledgling by Octavia Butler and thats some vampires i would like to give a shout-out to. Its a very horny, surprisingly poly setup for vampires with an intersection with race thats written by a prolific sci-fi author. Haven't finished it yet but its really good so far!!
(warning and slight spoiler though!!:
The main character is a young vampire which means they are like in their 50's but are the size of a human child. Even typing this it feels gross and truthly i think it would be especially awful in a visual medium but i will say in a book its not as much as an issue. Its still weird and i dont like that aspect of the book but i think the book is still worth a read so far. Sorry for the ramble but i felt i should warn people so they know what theyre getting into 😅)
I love Fledgling! Very interesting take on the vamp lore
Ooh, I'm putting this on my to-read list. The Xenogenesis trilogy was awesome.
I'm just glad My Babbysitter is a Vampire got a mention. Top notch video for that alone. No notes.
Feels like you could have thrown in a couple seconds of Akasha while you were talking about Lestats. For the horniness. 😢
I really appreciate how long Mildred spent on Duckular.
Radu, from the 'Subspecies' franchise is my personal favourite. I'd say he fits into the Dracula type vampire.
I think he's way more Nosferatu, just with hair. I love what a gross freak he is.
@@Geospasmic True
Oh, Mildred, please do more videos that include Forever Knight. I used to watch it on the Sci-fy channel at about the same age and still unironically love it so much. Also, kudos for the Lacroix picture used in the ranking. I'm gonna hush now before I keep info-dumping. (I've already deleted stuff twice. Lol.)
The blood vessels joke from the Bunnicula joke book was pretty clever ngl.
Gotta read Carmilla. Super short and compelling enough to finish in a sitting or two.
And I'll add, gotta skip Let the Right One In. Loads of weird gratuitous pedo shit in there, and just truly unpleasant to read.
I am so happy you mentioned Bunnicula
This is perhaps the most entertaining thing you've put out. It just feels like you had a ton of fun being a big ol goof.
Never gonna miss the chance to drop this tidbit, but Dracula was the end of a vampire trend in gothic fiction. It came out in 1897.
Carmilla came out in 1872, 25 years earlier. One could say that John Polidori's Vampyre, which came out in 1816 was the origin of the modern vampire in fiction. Or one could simply mention that to talk about Villa Diodati, Lord Byron, Mary (not yet) Shelley, Percy Shelly and John Polidori and the year without a summer.
How did i not not know Mildred had a second channel?!
Subed!
I gasped giggling and covered my mouth when Forever Knight came on screen. We watched that as teens in the late 90s. Foundational.
No one should blame you for taking an opportunity to discuss Bunnicula. Impeccable taste.
You acknowledged Legacy of Kain. That's all I could ask for. My number one vampire fiction.
You will be happy to learn that during the Curse of Strahd campaign I played, we circumvented the castle full of spooky and annoyingly hard to kill thralls by scaling the gigantic cliff on the backside of the castle, a feat made easier by the fact that my alcoholic dwarven professional wrestler mongo character with insanely high STR and an INT level on par with a particularly dumb horse had decided to just get *lots* of the Dark Gifts in the Amber Temple (again, because he was very dumb), and in addition to the myriad of curses (he had an extra unseeing, unblinking eye under his beard, his body was covered in oily black fur, his blood was oily and black like tar, and had to eat a pound of grave dirt or bones every day or he would die), he could also fly and had the ability to spiderman crawl up walls (among other things).
So what we did instead of fighting through the castle was to send me ass crawling up the wall with a bunch of rope, and when the vamps started crawling down to get me, I would just grapple them and yeet them off the cliff where the rest of the party was waiting to finish them off after they took massive fall damage. It worked great! We ended up basically skipping 90% of the difficult part of the castle.
Thank you for acknowledging how hot Paul Reubens was in the Buffy movie
This video serves a tangible useful purpose and I'm glad it finally exists. I needed it. THANK YOU.
I HAVE SEEN JOHN CARPENTER'S VAMPIRES! How dare you. Also, Bordello of Blood vampires are definitely vampires and should have been judged on the list with all of the various Tales From The Crypt Vampires present across the series run and films. But I wouldn't ask you to do that because I am not a monster... despite being a vampire sometimes.
"Sort the Draculas from the Whackulas" destroyed me. I'll never be the same.
Another awesome video. I don't watch a lot of English content, but every now and then I love to spend an evening gorging on contenido inglés (yes, that does just mean "English content" in Spanish, but it sounded better than literally just repeating the words "English content" again). Always look forward to catching up with some Scaredy Cats. Gracias por todo el contenido padrísimo, compa 👍🏻