@@AY-pw7hz it’s basically in thinned out a whole lot , and is in the prolonged resting phase of the hair cycle. It’s called Telgoeon effuflium it’s not thick and full like it used to be . I literally scared to get romantically evolved with a guy or anyone 😭 cause I’m kinda insecure about . It’s hiddEn on a day to day basis but yeah
When I was a young girl I was incredibly boy crazy. So I definitely wanted to date and form relationships and get married one day. Now at 37 I have no desire to date or be with anyone. I’m completely content with being alone.
I’m with you there Ms Lady. I have not motivation to get to know anyone. I’m fine on my own. The dating game these days is completely different. Folks date others for all the wrong reasons
Omg I’m asexual too. I’m still unsure where on the spectrum I fall. I feel so happy there’s a fellow black girl who went through the same things I went through. Love you chi chi 🥰
@@Jojosiwo so you think getting laid amounts to your worth? Yikes what a sad life you live that u had to come up on this video and say the only thing that makes you relevant is your body count. There’s asexual ppl in relationships you know?? Since relationships are more than it and there’s couple who also never want children. You’re so sucked into society that you have 1930’s this clearly not your generation.
@@Jojosiwo no? I don’t get why sex have to be pushed on everyone and talked about everywhere. This is why I think asexual is an important label even though some think it’s useless just bc of people like you. I think sex seems gross and boring I’m just not into it but some asexuals are! the point of asexual is that we are not attracted to others sexually I personally just don’t get it. I’ve had people hit on me and I get really uncomfortable. It’s like being a straight guy living in a world with only gay guys (my best to try and relate to you idk if ur a guy but the same principle with girls unless ur bi) like I just don’t see bodies as a sexual thing that’s just a body lmao idk how to explain it really since I don’t understand how sexual attraction to people feels like. I don’t se a person and think “oh they are so hot I want to fuck them” it’s more the same attraction you can get by looking at pretty flowers I feel nothing really I just admire it I guess same goes for a straight guy acknowledging that another guy is attractive without getting turned on by them I guess
This is what the girls have been waiting for, honestly I need a whole Netflix series or something on Chi Chi. Her video style is just one of a storyteller.
It’s okay, dating these days is soo hard cause every guy wants sex like I get it sex is great. It’s also very intoxicating. I don’t want just sex I want commitment and love , guys are just a waste. And it’s so frustrating
I’m glad you’re not friends with them anymore. I’m pretty sure they started acting like that because of the boys. I’ve been telling myself to not rush things because I’m 18 now and I still never had a bf meanwhile my friends already have one and did everything with theirs.
Yh and most of the time I notice they are settling I don’t say anything but these guys will not deserve them and they lost sleep and their education for a guy that won’t matter in months time
This made me think about how in the Bible Paul tells us that some are meant to be married and other are meant to be single. The beautiful part is that regardless both are call gifts. It’s a gift to us no matter which one we we’re designed for so don’t let the world make you ashamed of it!
I feel you. It sucks though when people try to impose their desires on you. Funny part is, all the people I know in relationships are dealing with so much stress from it like cheating.
Ikr!! And sometimes people pity you for not dating when its like...I'm fine, I don't feel lonely, I'm okay. And it's so much more peaceful and stress free than having to deal with relationship drama and all that comes with it
I think ppl think there are these rules and stages that everyone has to follow. I can relate to this video and your comment in sense that I started later in life, also rushed my virginity in late teens just to get it over with. I didn’t have my first serious relationship until my 20s, first child at 25, second at 27. All I can say is that ppl aren’t who they appear to be so you have to be careful there shouldn’t be rush. I had to learn hard way. I was with that guy 16 years and he was a narcissist. I’m still recovering but I have big heart and found someone worthy of my love. God 1st, Love yourself first, love ppl and rest will follow. Slower is better. Sorry this is so dam long.
I also haven't done anything and I'm 18😂😂 anyway I don't really feel like I'm asexual. I'm extremely picky and I'd like to take my time and pray for whoever will get married to me.
Same! And other words for picky are standards and morals and now and days no one has those now and days females or males .... but I agree on waiting for who ever is husband and life long material because I hate temporary things and everybody’s also temporary now and days so I’m good on any relationship and any sexual encounters.
You’re special! Continue to pray. Don’t make the mistake and sleep with someone who doesn’t deserve you. If I was younger, I would have your same mentality.
Wow, your experience mirrors mine so much. My aromanticism and asexuality was subconsciously expressing itself my entire life, but because my mind was clouded by the narratives of romance, marriage, and sex I ignored it. It took me so long to figure it out because people were constantly telling me stuff like, you're scared, you just need to have sex, etc. Since I have found the label and the community I have felt so much better.
Look into aromantic that literally explained my life and I feel like that would sum up yourself too, it’s asexual kinda but more on the romantic side as it suggests, it means u don’t have crushes and don’t fall in love with people romantically, that’s why many aromantics fake having crushes to fit in when they were younger.
Yeah she does sound more aromatic . I’m more asexual . I’m a super romantic but have no sexual desire for a person . I seek more platonic relationships that’s like bf & gf without the intimacy
Yes! A lot of people confuse the two (understandably) but they are different. Being both asexual and aromantic (like myself) is a possibility, as well!
Turns out I’m aromantic and bisexual. I don’t believe in relationships like everybody else do, and it makes me feel like I’m not a normal person. Btw, aromantic means word by word “The term aromantic has nothing to with sex. It means you don't get romantically attached to others, though you may develop sexual attractions. People of any sexual orientation can be aromantic. You can also be asexual, aromantic, or both”.
Thank you for opening up about your story. I've never seen someone who looks like me (a young, pretty black girl) blatantly say they're asexual, so I've always felt ashamed about it. Until recently, like you I didn't fully understand what my sexuality was...I just knew I wasn't like everyone else
This video came at literally the perfect time, I’ve recently been having an identity crisis trying to figure out whether I’m asexual or not. I get crushes on guys but I’m not sure I feel sexual attraction and have no desire for anything in that realm. I just hate not knowing for sure because all my life I’ve just thought I was plain heterosexual but not knowing for sure has been stressing me out so much lately, and having no desire to “experiment” and I guess find out for sure just makes things harder.
@@casuallym3 yeah I think being scared could definitely be part of it too, but I don’t think it’s necessarily because of my upbringing. My parents told me I couldn’t date till I was older, but that wasn’t the main reason I never did; if they’d been more chill with dating I think I’d still be in the same situation, and if I really wanted to date somebody I would just do it without telling them lol
It’s the way society will make you feel like you’re less than a woman if you haven’t done anything. But then if you do have more than one body, you’re “ran thru”. You can’t win regardless so you should just do what you want at the end of the day. I know for a fact I’m not mentally prepared to date. I have a lot of personal issues I have to deal with and so until I deal with them...I’m not dating. Right now I’m worried about how I’m paying for college😭
I can really relate to this. I also identify as asexual and am constantly being invalidated due to the fact that I’ve had sex before and have talked about it simply because that’s what everyone else was doing. But having sex has done nothing but solidify the fact that I don’t want to have sex ever again LOL - love your vids btw!!
Omg I remember asking about you possibly being asexual and you answering in that video! Time honestly flies and I’m glad that you’ve came to terms with yourself ❤️
I’m 19 and never had a boyfriend. I had small crushes in middle school but nothing too serious. I’m in college now. And I realize that I never liked anyone enough to be in a relationship. I live in South Carolina. The men here are not up to my standards. People here date anybody. I don’t want anyone who smokes or thinks underage drinking is cool. I don’t really see myself with anyone in this state. I don’t want to date. No one here meets my standards. Everybody has mediocre relationships and that not me.
I honestly see myself in you. You're definitely a wise young woman. I'm 23 and at times I feel like the outcast since my friends are wayy ahead. Honestly, I don't care. I like living life by my rules. It's freeing. Screw anyone that tells you that you have to do something. Glad you got rid of those snakes. It's refreshing that you're truly doing you. So many people fall into the trap of following the crowd. Most times they don't even want to lose their virginity, they're either getting pressured by their partner or friends.. Just pace yourself and go where life takes you. No one ever died from not being in a relationship.
I was kind of the same way in middle school. I never wanted to date any one but all my friends did so id have to lie and say i had crushes on guys when i didnt. I didnt really start caring abt relationships until 10th grade
chichi is looking SCRUMPTIOUS in this video!!! the thumbnail looks good too👀teehee and girl story of my life everyone around me was boo’d up and made me feel like something was wrong with me but atp idgaf i find solice in being alone relationships are too much work for me atp in my life GREAT VIDEOOOo!!
I'm sure we all appreciate how much time and effort u put into editing because GURRLLL your skills are awesome and they really add much more value to ur already interesting content!
No your not weird for being your true genuine self Chi Chi. So stay being your self because we will still love you regardless of your sexuality. Happy Valentines Day. 🌷💝
Also I’m so proud of u for coming to terms with ur sexuality the internet can be a very vicious and I like that u felt comfortable enough to share that with so many people. Love you queen.🥰🥰
I totally relate to that and I have felt the exact same things. I'm turning 20 and I've never really bothered with relationships. I was 16 when I first started looking at boys and being like "mhm he's handsome" and then I looked at girls and I was like "she's pretty too" and that is the extent of my romantic attraction to people. Not to say that I don't feel sexual attraction but I don't feel emotionally connected to people at all and for me that is the only way I would date anyone. At the same time I like being alone, I like doing things by myself. Studying, traveling, going out to dinner, going to the movies. I've never met someone who I actually really really want in my space. Most people I just tolerate them and I like my friends and family but I prefer just being with me. I told my brother that I wanted to disappear for a year and just travel the world, but not tell anyone where I am or where I am going and give them no means to contact me and he called me a sociopath lol.
Yess!! Omg!! Its like we're conditioned to think being in a relationship is a must and you're weird if you dont want one. When that's not the case at all
that’s really true when i think about it, social media is so relationship based/heavy, all topics fall back into it. i’ve stopped using social media and it’s honestly so refreshing.
This is very different but it’s also nice to see a gorgeous girl, loving her life and not obsessing over dating and men. This was very therapeutic for me. I also wonder from a psychological perspective if it’s also because your childhood was so good that you don’t obsess over love like the rest of us do. Cus when we’re young we’re all immature. It would be interesting to see your birth chart and what Capricorn placements you have.
This is meeeeeeee! I lied about having crushes on boys bc all of my friends was dating but I never asked them out or told them I liked them in middle school. I just wanted my friends to know i have crushes on ppl too lol. I’m now 20 and I never dated or done anything with anyone. Literally nothing. Ppl including my parents like to ask sexual/ relationship questions or they assume things about me. I honestly tell them I’m not interested in that and I don’t want kids.... I’m 20 !! For some reason, They can’t grasp that. I’m trying to be a Dermatologist and get a car rn. Dating isn’t everything or apart of my plan. You worded this so perfectly! Thank you for sharing this! I’m so happy that I’m not the only one!
Girl, I have so must respect for how mature you are about most things. When I first came to your channel for a tutorial, I never thought I’d keep watching simply because I’m so much older. However, you’re so entertaining and you carry yourself in such a way that it never really matters.
I had the same situation during my junior year with friends like that... it's caused a lot of issues in my life that I wish I never had to experience. Listening to your own self instead of the influence of others is always an amazing thing to do, keep it up hun!!
I feel your pain. Asexuality is just like you said, not really a yes or no. I was so exhausted of trying to correct everyone on something I want to do and what I don't. I always thought the same, I could NEVER relate to any terms like "_______ is so fine, I'd let them do me". Or the person looks good but, there's just no feeling or attraction behind it. So hard to explain. 🤷🏽♀️😂
Also in the bible it says not everyone is meant to marry, and that’s ok. There’s a lot of people that we know about in the bible and guess what? Some of them weren’t married. In the past I was always scared that what if I’m not meant to marry( because I want to start a family and all) and one day I asked my mom, “Do you ever wonder sometimes that what if you were not meant to marry?”(she’s divorced btw) and what she said stuck with me til this day, she said, “ If you weren’t meant to marry, God wouldn’t put aspirations and dreams of getting married in you if you were not meant to. And if you weren’t meant to marry, you wouldn’t be so fascinated about the idea of marriage, and that’s still ok.” So in conclusion, if you want to get married that’s ok, but if you don’t want to get married, that’s okay too.🙂
I was thinking about this too, I Know not everyone is Christian but I found it cool how this principle is still relevant in my belief. I love it because both marriage and singleness are called gifts! God designed us with either one specifically us and it will be a gift to us no matter which one. They both have their highlights and also struggles that allow God to grow us
I wish I had seen this years ago. I grew up feeling like my peers where more mature than me because they would talk about crushes and sex and I never related. I'm 18 now but that's how I've felt my whole life. I did end dating but I started to explore my sexuality because that's what the guys wanted and nobody seemed to understand me when I said I'm asexual. When I look back, I realise I still am asexual and when I do have feelings for sb, I tend to lose them fast.
I have an issue that I can't quite explain. I get hard crushes but when I kiss someone I feel nothing. Admittedly that may be the guy who was terrible but stil
I (sometimes, if I'm feeling like labels are necessary) identify as demi-sexual. Not fully asexual but not...sexual...either. I have had and enjoy sex but I never really wanted to when my friends did and I don't understand finding people sexy. Like if I don't know you...why would I see you as sexually anything? I don't KNOW you. I find this mindset difficult to explain, but because I still have crushes and date, I usually don't have to. I am...sorry I guess, about the extra annoyance that you get asked about it do frequently you have to explain yourself. If things change looked you said they MIGHT, don't feel afraid to voice that too. People grow and change and that's okay. And if they don't change as it seems they won't, I hope you can find love and happiness in other ways :)
@@kaiiloe Ngl I have no idea. I think it just took me longer to get interested compared to others. I’ve only had one crush (when I was a freshman) and I only liked him cause of his personality, which led me to think I only fall in love with a person’s personality making it hard to like people off of first looks.
@@Vivian_here It’s called demisexuality 🤍. Your only interested in people if you have emotional connection with them so basically like they’re personality :) .
This really made me feel better about how I feel about myself and how I view relationships at first I thought it was because I was ugly and no guy would ever want to be with me but I slowly started to notice that people showed their interest I just didn’t want to “explore“ things any further. I don’t know if I even fall on the spectrum of asexuality because I still want to have kids but I don’t want to “make” them and I would rather be a single mother with family to help me instead of a significant other. But I am only 16 so who knows,but I hate that you went through some one calling you out for not doing anything no one should ever think that is ok to do. I was recently on the phone with a boy for the first time and he was in total shock that I haven’t done anything and he was chuckling to himself and it made me want to go die in a hole but I have realized that it does matter what anybody things about what I chose to do with my body or my feelings and all I need to worry about is being true to myself and I hope that if any of you guys are struggling with that just remember to stay true to yourself first before any one else’s feelings😊
this is so me. I’m 18 and I’ve never had a bf or done anything. Ive had crushes, but no one that I would like enough to be my boyfriend. Im content how I am though, and don’t cry “cause I’m single”. I think it’s cause I have standards, and a pretty head strong person. It’s very complex, but I’m happy to know I’m not alone
it really sucks that your friends used to pressure you, we're the same age and i'm from moco and honestly dmv guys are kinda like that BUT my actually friends understood that i wasn't fully interested in dating/anything in regards to touching as well. hopefully you make/made some new friends in uni and grow more comfortable in your stance on relationships💛
For awhile I thought I was asexual...I still might be actually. I can fall for someone but it's like it last for a second and then I'm over that person. And can be over them for the rest of my life.
So thankful that you were able to share this part of your life and/or identify on your platform. Growing up, there was little to non representation on the asexual community. This left a lot of us confused because we couldn’t find people going through similar situations to us that we could relate to. You being opened about your experience is helping some many people with their sexuality, while also starting conversations on the visibility and understanding of Ace folk with allosexual communities. I would recommended , “Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex” by Angela Chen. This book helped me realize some much more about myself and the Ace community and I’m hoping that it will do the same for you too. Much love.
I don't date because: 1- dating is exhaustic 2- stressful 3- I have notice men are dramatic and they used it to manipulate women 4- some men have no future 5-men like to play mind game( text and ignore later)
Omg I feel the exact same way all through middle and high school. I went through all of these though processes and experiences and it has contributed to a lot of my anxiety. Now I’m in college and I am still trying to figure out if I am even able to date anyone if I want to bc I have literally no relationship experience and most ppl my age do, so now I’m especially scared of being judged or taken advantage of
I've been recommended this video for 4 days and I kept putting it off. This is me. I'm trying to learn to be comfortable with it but because of media and everything I anyways go back to maybe I'm missing something
Same. I've never wanted to get married or have kids. I never cared. I went through a very long and traumatic journey before I figure out I am probably aroace I was influenced by my friends in college and I wish I had better friends cause it was horrible
It sucks, but sometimes it’s better to not have any friends and be a loner for a while instead of having bad friends that make you feel more alone. Plus when you’re on your own, you can learn who you are/ become your best self without other people interfering.❤️
This is how I feel, like I have had crushes on celebs but I don’t like anyone to be in a relationship with them. I’ve always wanted to have cute little dates and picnics but I don’t know if I could ever be in a actual relationship
i’m in high school and i feel the exact same way omg i loved this video (except the not wanting to date part. i want to date like that’d be cool lol but it just hasn’t happened... and that’s okay.)
Honestly same ... it’s like I like watching romantic movies but I don’t actually want to experience that lol I even if I like some one I wouldn’t want to actually get together 💀idk it's weird
This is me lol. I like romance movies, wedding shows, love stories, etc. but when I try to imagine it for myself I'm completely turned off 😭. I like it for other people and as entertainment, just not for me.
chi chi this video spoke to me, all throughout middle school and high school i would pretend to like guys so i had something to talk about with my friends because they were all dating and kept asking me why i wouldn’t date.
now if anyone else made a video like this I definitely would not watch the whole thing. idk why but she just makes her video sooo interestinggg to watch
I’ve been feeling the same way. I’m not sure yet, I mean I’m straight and for me it’s not that I’m not that sexually attracted to people (even though that’s not something I worry about) but I simply just am not attracted to people like I don’t like anybody. The last time I liked somebody was almost a year ago.. I don’t feel that anybody’s mindset/personality is good enough for me right now. Like you said thinks may change for me as well but yeah I’m not sure yet so I’m gonna to continue identifying as straight.. but I’ve definitely considered possible being A-sexual
I’m not Asexual but I’m sorry that you went through that. Your “friends” were true assholes and you deserved so much better! Also is being Asexual apart of the LGBTQ+ community ? If so welcome to the family ❤️ !
Really? I didn’t know that. So what are all the qualifications for the community? Is it just something that’s out of the norm? (I’m serious, sorry for my ignorance😭I’m also aroace)
I think it's kind of funny. I wasn't interested in dating or sex either throughout school. My priorities were different. I wanted to focus on me, get my life together, and make money. My friends were dating, but I didn't think me not dating was weird or anything. One pet peeve of mine is when others try to put a label on me with something I don't even identify with. For some reason, my love life came into someone else's conversation and they brought up that I was "asexual" just because K don't date. My sexuality and love life is literally no one's business. So I was pissed af for someone to assume that me not dating was "abnormal" and to think of different sexualities that I may be. Some people just aren't into dating. And it doesn't mean they're guy, straight, bisexual, whatever the fuck else. People just have different priorities in life. But anyways unexpectedly loss my virginity at 26 with a great guy. I am attracted to a few more men now, but I'm still not looking to date. My goal is shine explore and be best I can be.
Chi chi this was so beautiful. This video was so personal, and I loved how you included clips from throughout your journey. I really felt a connection to what you were saying💗
Thank you for being so open with us, you genuinely didn’t have too but we appreciate it especially those who can relate to you. I’ll be honest while you were explaining I was both surprised and a little confused but literally once you played the clip of the guy I literally was like “oh yeah makes sense” so good that you included that. Thanks for sharing ☺️
Also chi chi please don’t be too hard on urself always uploading weekly💜💜 I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come since I’ve first started watching you. I jus want to you remember that ur supporters have ur back and care about ur well-being.
I don’t date because I haven’t met anyone good enough for me.
Same
I literally don’t date , cause of my hair lmao it’s kind of shallow but it’s true though 😭
@@casuallym3
What’s wrong with it.
@@AY-pw7hz it’s basically in thinned out a whole lot , and is in the prolonged resting phase of the hair cycle. It’s called Telgoeon effuflium it’s not thick and full like it used to be . I literally scared to get romantically evolved with a guy or anyone 😭 cause I’m kinda insecure about . It’s hiddEn on a day to day basis but yeah
Keep them standards high, sis
you look so beautiful! ok back to the video
I love your channel
OMFG QUEENS SUPPORTING QUEENS
or *Kings* supporting queens lol
Okay king I see you 🥺❤️
Y’all should collab 😭😭
Can’t believe your “friends” made you feel like you were anything less than a woman. Smh shame on them
They were prob jealous
You’re the rich auntie 💅🏾
def what i was thinking
Trust me you’re normal. Everyone’s just conditioned to aspire to marriage and kids but that’s not gonna be what everyone wants and that’s ok
_so true_
so true bro
Yup there are a lot of asexual people in miserable relationships and marriages only because they were pressured to do so
@@missunique5227 exactly! There are way more asexual people then we think, they’re just pressed by society to date
Not sure if I'm asexual, or if it's something else, but I started dating in high school because "it's what people do". So yeah, I felt pressured.
When I was a young girl I was incredibly boy crazy. So I definitely wanted to date and form relationships and get married one day. Now at 37 I have no desire to date or be with anyone. I’m completely content with being alone.
And that's completely normal and valid. You don't have to feel like you need to date. You're doing amazing ❤
I'm so happy I'm not alone.
I’m with you there Ms Lady. I have not motivation to get to know anyone. I’m fine on my own. The dating game these days is completely different. Folks date others for all the wrong reasons
Omg I’m asexual too. I’m still unsure where on the spectrum I fall. I feel so happy there’s a fellow black girl who went through the same things I went through. Love you chi chi 🥰
Yeah you might be aromantic as well bc asexuals usually date
@@desteny1393 I won’t say usually is the word but they do
Being asexual is just most people who can't get laid used ☠️
@@Jojosiwo so you think getting laid amounts to your worth? Yikes what a sad life you live that u had to come up on this video and say the only thing that makes you relevant is your body count. There’s asexual ppl in relationships you know?? Since relationships are more than it and there’s couple who also never want children. You’re so sucked into society that you have 1930’s this clearly not your generation.
@@Jojosiwo no? I don’t get why sex have to be pushed on everyone and talked about everywhere. This is why I think asexual is an important label even though some think it’s useless just bc of people like you. I think sex seems gross and boring I’m just not into it but some asexuals are! the point of asexual is that we are not attracted to others sexually I personally just don’t get it. I’ve had people hit on me and I get really uncomfortable. It’s like being a straight guy living in a world with only gay guys (my best to try and relate to you idk if ur a guy but the same principle with girls unless ur bi) like I just don’t see bodies as a sexual thing that’s just a body lmao idk how to explain it really since I don’t understand how sexual attraction to people feels like. I don’t se a person and think “oh they are so hot I want to fuck them” it’s more the same attraction you can get by looking at pretty flowers I feel nothing really I just admire it I guess same goes for a straight guy acknowledging that another guy is attractive without getting turned on by them I guess
This is what the girls have been waiting for, honestly I need a whole Netflix series or something on Chi Chi. Her video style is just one of a storyteller.
It’s okay, dating these days is soo hard cause every guy wants sex like I get it sex is great. It’s also very intoxicating. I don’t want just sex I want commitment and love , guys are just a waste. And it’s so frustrating
I agree!!!!
Right!
Yeah that’s why waiting until marriage is great because it weeds out guys like that
@@Brittadin yes!!!
I’m glad you’re not friends with them anymore. I’m pretty sure they started acting like that because of the boys. I’ve been telling myself to not rush things because I’m 18 now and I still never had a bf meanwhile my friends already have one and did everything with theirs.
Same
Same, age n all
Yh and most of the time I notice they are settling I don’t say anything but these guys will not deserve them and they lost sleep and their education for a guy that won’t matter in months time
exactlyyy
Yeah I'm only 14 its DTN until I find the right one💅🏾😭
GIRL your editing is out of this world. This is UA-cam premium.. it’s like an actual movie wth. I see the hard work you put in Coco!!
The intro was incredible, the video quality was amazing!! She outdoes herself everytime
let's talk about this hairrrrr! you look so good
This made me think about how in the Bible Paul tells us that some are meant to be married and other are meant to be single. The beautiful part is that regardless both are call gifts. It’s a gift to us no matter which one we we’re designed for so don’t let the world make you ashamed of it!
Omg yes! Literally I was about to comment the same thing. Jesus literally says that some ppl are born to be this way!
@@christine1439 Yup, he did.
I feel you. It sucks though when people try to impose their desires on you. Funny part is, all the people I know in relationships are dealing with so much stress from it like cheating.
Ikr!! And sometimes people pity you for not dating when its like...I'm fine, I don't feel lonely, I'm okay. And it's so much more peaceful and stress free than having to deal with relationship drama and all that comes with it
I don’t really care too much about other people or society desires, but I care a little too much about what my family wants and what they expect.
Nobody can impose their desires on you if you don't want it. You do what you want.
I've never had a boyfriend. I'm 27
I am 25 and never had a real long term relationship. It usually ends after the talking stage 😩 so I understand
Same here love 🙌🏾
Same here it’s good to know we aren’t alone..
I think ppl think there are these rules and stages that everyone has to follow. I can relate to this video and your comment in sense that I started later in life, also rushed my virginity in late teens just to get it over with. I didn’t have my first serious relationship until my 20s, first child at 25, second at 27. All I can say is that ppl aren’t who they appear to be so you have to be careful there shouldn’t be rush. I had to learn hard way. I was with that guy 16 years and he was a narcissist. I’m still recovering but I have big heart and found someone worthy of my love. God 1st, Love yourself first, love ppl and rest will follow. Slower is better. Sorry this is so dam long.
Same but I'm 18.
Aww a black girl who may be asexual. We love representation.
or maybe aromantic. or maybe both!
Period
@@Wintersno Yessss! I’m definitely asexual, aromatic and sapiosexual .😊❤️
It feels nice to know that I’m not alone 😭
honestly because I feel like a weirdo amongst other people
@@blessing303 you’re African huh ?
@@casuallym3 yhyh
Ayy 💜🖤🤍
There’s a whole community of individuals just like this! They’re called aromantics, and you may figure out that you identify with them!
It's alright to _not_ have romantic/sexual inclinations towards people. Relationships are too complex to just want one for the sake of it
Yess!!! It's a responsibility for sure
I also haven't done anything and I'm 18😂😂 anyway I don't really feel like I'm asexual. I'm extremely picky and I'd like to take my time and pray for whoever will get married to me.
Same! And other words for picky are standards and morals and now and days no one has those now and days females or males .... but I agree on waiting for who ever is husband and life long material because I hate temporary things and everybody’s also temporary now and days so I’m good on any relationship and any sexual encounters.
i feel you bc i’m the same 🌸☺️
You’re special! Continue to pray. Don’t make the mistake and sleep with someone who doesn’t deserve you. If I was younger, I would have your same mentality.
I really hope I can meet someone who I can love and they love me bc I don’t know if I can be in a relationship
update: i’m 21 now and i still haven’t done anything!🤣
Wow, your experience mirrors mine so much. My aromanticism and asexuality was subconsciously expressing itself my entire life, but because my mind was clouded by the narratives of romance, marriage, and sex I ignored it. It took me so long to figure it out because people were constantly telling me stuff like, you're scared, you just need to have sex, etc. Since I have found the label and the community I have felt so much better.
Look into aromantic that literally explained my life and I feel like that would sum up yourself too, it’s asexual kinda but more on the romantic side as it suggests, it means u don’t have crushes and don’t fall in love with people romantically, that’s why many aromantics fake having crushes to fit in when they were younger.
Yeah she does sound more aromatic . I’m more asexual . I’m a super romantic but have no sexual desire for a person . I seek more platonic relationships that’s like bf & gf without the intimacy
Yes! A lot of people confuse the two (understandably) but they are different. Being both asexual and aromantic (like myself) is a possibility, as well!
Turns out I’m aromantic and bisexual. I don’t believe in relationships like everybody else do, and it makes me feel like I’m not a normal person. Btw, aromantic means word by word “The term aromantic has nothing to with sex. It means you don't get romantically attached to others, though you may develop sexual attractions. People of any sexual orientation can be aromantic. You can also be asexual, aromantic, or both”.
Next thing you are in a relationship and you change your views. I think people go through phases & that's okay
@@tondaniraluswinga2590 Yes I definitely agree!
Thank you for opening up about your story. I've never seen someone who looks like me (a young, pretty black girl) blatantly say they're asexual, so I've always felt ashamed about it. Until recently, like you I didn't fully understand what my sexuality was...I just knew I wasn't like everyone else
GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WE'VE MISSED YOU😭😭
hopefully now people will stop asking this question everytime you do an insta q&a 🤡❤️
Nah;humans are naturally curious🤔
@@darrellboone9274 well now you have the answer
This video came at literally the perfect time, I’ve recently been having an identity crisis trying to figure out whether I’m asexual or not. I get crushes on guys but I’m not sure I feel sexual attraction and have no desire for anything in that realm. I just hate not knowing for sure because all my life I’ve just thought I was plain heterosexual but not knowing for sure has been stressing me out so much lately, and having no desire to “experiment” and I guess find out for sure just makes things harder.
You could just be scared ? Growing up did ur parents have any rules or limitations on who you could date ?
@@casuallym3 yeah I think being scared could definitely be part of it too, but I don’t think it’s necessarily because of my upbringing. My parents told me I couldn’t date till I was older, but that wasn’t the main reason I never did; if they’d been more chill with dating I think I’d still be in the same situation, and if I really wanted to date somebody I would just do it without telling them lol
But can we talk about the the makeup and hair **chef kisses **
It’s the way society will make you feel like you’re less than a woman if you haven’t done anything. But then if you do have more than one body, you’re “ran thru”. You can’t win regardless so you should just do what you want at the end of the day. I know for a fact I’m not mentally prepared to date. I have a lot of personal issues I have to deal with and so until I deal with them...I’m not dating. Right now I’m worried about how I’m paying for college😭
I can really relate to this. I also identify as asexual and am constantly being invalidated due to the fact that I’ve had sex before and have talked about it simply because that’s what everyone else was doing. But having sex has done nothing but solidify the fact that I don’t want to have sex ever again LOL - love your vids btw!!
Omg I remember asking about you possibly being asexual and you answering in that video! Time honestly flies and I’m glad that you’ve came to terms with yourself ❤️
I’m 19 and never had a boyfriend. I had small crushes in middle school but nothing too serious. I’m in college now. And I realize that I never liked anyone enough to be in a relationship. I live in South Carolina. The men here are not up to my standards. People here date anybody. I don’t want anyone who smokes or thinks underage drinking is cool. I don’t really see myself with anyone in this state. I don’t want to date. No one here meets my standards. Everybody has mediocre relationships and that not me.
I honestly see myself in you. You're definitely a wise young woman. I'm 23 and at times I feel like the outcast since my friends are wayy ahead. Honestly, I don't care. I like living life by my rules. It's freeing. Screw anyone that tells you that you have to do something. Glad you got rid of those snakes. It's refreshing that you're truly doing you. So many people fall into the trap of following the crowd. Most times they don't even want to lose their virginity, they're either getting pressured by their partner or friends.. Just pace yourself and go where life takes you. No one ever died from not being in a relationship.
I was kind of the same way in middle school. I never wanted to date any one but all my friends did so id have to lie and say i had crushes on guys when i didnt. I didnt really start caring abt relationships until 10th grade
chichi is looking SCRUMPTIOUS in this video!!! the thumbnail looks good too👀teehee and girl story of my life everyone around me was boo’d up and made me feel like something was wrong with me but atp idgaf i find solice in being alone relationships are too much work for me atp in my life GREAT VIDEOOOo!!
I'm sure we all appreciate how much time and effort u put into editing because GURRLLL your skills are awesome and they really add much more value to ur already interesting content!
No your not weird for being your true genuine self Chi Chi. So stay being your self because we will still love you regardless of your sexuality. Happy Valentines Day. 🌷💝
Also I’m so proud of u for coming to terms with ur sexuality the internet can be a very vicious and I like that u felt comfortable enough to share that with so many people. Love you queen.🥰🥰
I totally relate to that and I have felt the exact same things. I'm turning 20 and I've never really bothered with relationships. I was 16 when I first started looking at boys and being like "mhm he's handsome" and then I looked at girls and I was like "she's pretty too" and that is the extent of my romantic attraction to people. Not to say that I don't feel sexual attraction but I don't feel emotionally connected to people at all and for me that is the only way I would date anyone. At the same time I like being alone, I like doing things by myself. Studying, traveling, going out to dinner, going to the movies. I've never met someone who I actually really really want in my space. Most people I just tolerate them and I like my friends and family but I prefer just being with me. I told my brother that I wanted to disappear for a year and just travel the world, but not tell anyone where I am or where I am going and give them no means to contact me and he called me a sociopath lol.
This video was so empowering too much emphasis is put toward relationships anyway
Yess!! Omg!! Its like we're conditioned to think being in a relationship is a must and you're weird if you dont want one. When that's not the case at all
Right? I feel a little more confident in myself after watching this video and reading the comments :)
that’s really true when i think about it, social media is so relationship based/heavy, all topics fall back into it. i’ve stopped using social media and it’s honestly so refreshing.
This is very different but it’s also nice to see a gorgeous girl, loving her life and not obsessing over dating and men. This was very therapeutic for me.
I also wonder from a psychological perspective if it’s also because your childhood was so good that you don’t obsess over love like the rest of us do. Cus when we’re young we’re all immature. It would be interesting to see your birth chart and what Capricorn placements you have.
This is meeeeeeee! I lied about having crushes on boys bc all of my friends was dating but I never asked them out or told them I liked them in middle school. I just wanted my friends to know i have crushes on ppl too lol. I’m now 20 and I never dated or done anything with anyone. Literally nothing. Ppl including my parents like to ask sexual/ relationship questions or they assume things about me. I honestly tell them I’m not interested in that and I don’t want kids.... I’m 20 !! For some reason, They can’t grasp that. I’m trying to be a Dermatologist and get a car rn. Dating isn’t everything or apart of my plan. You worded this so perfectly! Thank you for sharing this! I’m so happy that I’m not the only one!
@azuels Literally
Girl, I have so must respect for how mature you are about most things. When I first came to your channel for a tutorial, I never thought I’d keep watching simply because I’m so much older. However, you’re so entertaining and you carry yourself in such a way that it never really matters.
i can definitely see the impact of your invisalign. your teeth look so different now 😍
I had the same situation during my junior year with friends like that... it's caused a lot of issues in my life that I wish I never had to experience. Listening to your own self instead of the influence of others is always an amazing thing to do, keep it up hun!!
I feel your pain. Asexuality is just like you said, not really a yes or no. I was so exhausted of trying to correct everyone on something I want to do and what I don't. I always thought the same, I could NEVER relate to any terms like "_______ is so fine, I'd let them do me". Or the person looks good but, there's just no feeling or attraction behind it. So hard to explain. 🤷🏽♀️😂
Also in the bible it says not everyone is meant to marry, and that’s ok. There’s a lot of people that we know about in the bible and guess what? Some of them weren’t married.
In the past I was always scared that what if I’m not meant to marry( because I want to start a family and all) and one day I asked my mom, “Do you ever wonder sometimes that what if you were not meant to marry?”(she’s divorced btw) and what she said stuck with me til this day, she said, “ If you weren’t meant to marry, God wouldn’t put aspirations and dreams of getting married in you if you were not meant to. And if you weren’t meant to marry, you wouldn’t be so fascinated about the idea of marriage, and that’s still ok.”
So in conclusion, if you want to get married that’s ok, but if you don’t want to get married, that’s okay too.🙂
this is really well said !
I was thinking about this too, I Know not everyone is Christian but I found it cool how this principle is still relevant in my belief. I love it because both marriage and singleness are called gifts! God designed us with either one specifically us and it will be a gift to us no matter which one. They both have their highlights and also struggles that allow God to grow us
Love this! ❤️
Girl you don’t have to know the answer to everything yet! You just keep doing you! ❤️
I wish I had seen this years ago. I grew up feeling like my peers where more mature than me because they would talk about crushes and sex and I never related. I'm 18 now but that's how I've felt my whole life. I did end dating but I started to explore my sexuality because that's what the guys wanted and nobody seemed to understand me when I said I'm asexual. When I look back, I realise I still am asexual and when I do have feelings for sb, I tend to lose them fast.
I have an issue that I can't quite explain. I get hard crushes but when I kiss someone I feel nothing. Admittedly that may be the guy who was terrible but stil
I (sometimes, if I'm feeling like labels are necessary) identify as demi-sexual. Not fully asexual but not...sexual...either. I have had and enjoy sex but I never really wanted to when my friends did and I don't understand finding people sexy. Like if I don't know you...why would I see you as sexually anything? I don't KNOW you. I find this mindset difficult to explain, but because I still have crushes and date, I usually don't have to. I am...sorry I guess, about the extra annoyance that you get asked about it do frequently you have to explain yourself. If things change looked you said they MIGHT, don't feel afraid to voice that too. People grow and change and that's okay. And if they don't change as it seems they won't, I hope you can find love and happiness in other ways :)
No I feel you
Your still so young chi chi, you may never know what the future holds.🤗
🧍🏾♀️why am I lowkey going through the struggle of not finding guys cute while all my friends talked about tv crushes and people they like.
are you asexual or interested of the opposite gender?
@@kaiiloe Ngl I have no idea. I think it just took me longer to get interested compared to others. I’ve only had one crush (when I was a freshman) and I only liked him cause of his personality, which led me to think I only fall in love with a person’s personality making it hard to like people off of first looks.
You may be Demisexual. It’s when a person only feels sexually attracted to another person when they have a deep emotional bond.
@@Vivian_here It’s called demisexuality 🤍. Your only interested in people if you have emotional connection with them so basically like they’re personality :) .
@@kaiiloe @Niya wow I didn’t know that. Thanks guys
Speaking of "Captain America: The Winter Solider" I have a crush on Bucky 😭
Me too 😭
@@leilam529 Ayeee! Taste!
Yasss..... can't wait for the falcon and winter soldier series for him
😂💀Your pfp
This really made me feel better about how I feel about myself and how I view relationships at first I thought it was because I was ugly and no guy would ever want to be with me but I slowly started to notice that people showed their interest I just didn’t want to “explore“ things any further. I don’t know if I even fall on the spectrum of asexuality because I still want to have kids but I don’t want to “make” them and I would rather be a single mother with family to help me instead of a significant other. But I am only 16 so who knows,but I hate that you went through some one calling you out for not doing anything no one should ever think that is ok to do. I was recently on the phone with a boy for the first time and he was in total shock that I haven’t done anything and he was chuckling to himself and it made me want to go die in a hole but I have realized that it does matter what anybody things about what I chose to do with my body or my feelings and all I need to worry about is being true to myself and I hope that if any of you guys are struggling with that just remember to stay true to yourself first before any one else’s feelings😊
this is so me. I’m 18 and I’ve never had a bf or done anything. Ive had crushes, but no one that I would like enough to be my boyfriend. Im content how I am though, and don’t cry “cause I’m single”. I think it’s cause I have standards, and a pretty head strong person. It’s very complex, but I’m happy to know I’m not alone
it really sucks that your friends used to pressure you, we're the same age and i'm from moco and honestly dmv guys are kinda like that BUT my actually friends understood that i wasn't fully interested in dating/anything in regards to touching as well. hopefully you make/made some new friends in uni and grow more comfortable in your stance on relationships💛
You sound so wise now! Love the growth
For awhile I thought I was asexual...I still might be actually. I can fall for someone but it's like it last for a second and then I'm over that person. And can be over them for the rest of my life.
So thankful that you were able to share this part of your life and/or identify on your platform. Growing up, there was little to non representation on the asexual community. This left a lot of us confused because we couldn’t find people going through similar situations to us that we could relate to. You being opened about your experience is helping some many people with their sexuality, while also starting conversations on the visibility and understanding of Ace folk with allosexual communities.
I would recommended , “Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex” by Angela Chen. This book helped me realize some much more about myself and the Ace community and I’m hoping that it will do the same for you too.
Much love.
That book is amazing. It helped me so much
I don't date because:
1- dating is exhaustic
2- stressful
3- I have notice men are dramatic and they used it to manipulate women
4- some men have no future
5-men like to play mind game( text and ignore later)
I feel like men get a lot out of women but have nothing to offer in return.
Exactly 👍🏽🤍
I'm very excited to see what this video has!
Omg I feel the exact same way all through middle and high school. I went through all of these though processes and experiences and it has contributed to a lot of my anxiety. Now I’m in college and I am still trying to figure out if I am even able to date anyone if I want to bc I have literally no relationship experience and most ppl my age do, so now I’m especially scared of being judged or taken advantage of
i definitely feel what you're saying in this video. i feel like i'm asexual too.
This video was so good ! I feel the same way ! I want to date but I just haven’t found that person that makes me spark.
I've been recommended this video for 4 days and I kept putting it off. This is me. I'm trying to learn to be comfortable with it but because of media and everything I anyways go back to maybe I'm missing something
I love your editing style. It’s so enjoyable watching content when you know the creator took their time to create and edit
Same. I've never wanted to get married or have kids. I never cared. I went through a very long and traumatic journey before I figure out I am probably aroace
I was influenced by my friends in college and I wish I had better friends cause it was horrible
THE HAIR GIRL THE HAIR!! you look so pretty, imma need a link : )
I went straight to the comments but I’m to early 😭😭😭 theres no tea
Exactly 😭
Your high cheekbones give me lifeee😩
chichi's editing skills are SOOO underrated
Love this video there’s so much unnecessary pressure to be in a relationship
It sucks, but sometimes it’s better to not have any friends and be a loner for a while instead of having bad friends that make you feel more alone. Plus when you’re on your own, you can learn who you are/ become your best self without other people interfering.❤️
This actually interesting to see someone with experiences outside the norm and its a bonus it’s chichi😌
so happy for you that you feel comfortable in your findings!!
I see a boy in a thumbnail and I clicked so fast😂
live in your truth!! your high school friends are trifling for making you feel like that. life is not all about sex and relationships.
This is how I feel, like I have had crushes on celebs but I don’t like anyone to be in a relationship with them. I’ve always wanted to have cute little dates and picnics but I don’t know if I could ever be in a actual relationship
I felt this whole video on a diff level
i’m in high school and i feel the exact same way omg i loved this video (except the not wanting to date part. i want to date like that’d be cool lol but it just hasn’t happened... and that’s okay.)
I never went out with guys until I turned 18 still a disappointed.
i needed this vid so bad, thank you so much for sharing your story
Honestly same ... it’s like I like watching romantic movies but I don’t actually want to experience that lol I even if I like some one I wouldn’t want to actually get together 💀idk it's weird
This is me lol. I like romance movies, wedding shows, love stories, etc. but when I try to imagine it for myself I'm completely turned off 😭. I like it for other people and as entertainment, just not for me.
@@MelonBrews Rightttt... it’s like once I realize you actually have to be a relationship to do those things I backfire out lol
Omg saaaame. I feel so weird thinking about me being in a relationship.
chi chi this video spoke to me, all throughout middle school and high school i would pretend to like guys so i had something to talk about with my friends because they were all dating and kept asking me why i wouldn’t date.
now if anyone else made a video like this I definitely would not watch the whole thing. idk why but she just makes her video sooo interestinggg to watch
I’ve been feeling the same way. I’m not sure yet, I mean I’m straight and for me it’s not that I’m not that sexually attracted to people (even though that’s not something I worry about) but I simply just am not attracted to people like I don’t like anybody. The last time I liked somebody was almost a year ago.. I don’t feel that anybody’s mindset/personality is good enough for me right now. Like you said thinks may change for me as well but yeah I’m not sure yet so I’m gonna to continue identifying as straight.. but I’ve definitely considered possible being A-sexual
This is an amazing production Chichi❤️
I’m not Asexual but I’m sorry that you went through that. Your “friends” were true assholes and you deserved so much better! Also is being Asexual apart of the LGBTQ+ community ? If so welcome to the family ❤️ !
It’s apart of the community dear
@@nicoledixon3057 thank you, I was confused for a second ❤️ .
@@kaiiloe no you’re good dear 💕💕
Really? I didn’t know that. So what are all the qualifications for the community? Is it just something that’s out of the norm?
(I’m serious, sorry for my ignorance😭I’m also aroace)
@@jasmineprime7422 That makes some sense, thanks.
The story is so beautifully told. Throwback videos and everything
COCO IS LITERALLY GORGEOUS, WITH OR WITHOUT MAKEUP. SHE IS NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL, PLEASE
The intro ✨ also can't wait to watch the video. Love you Chichi 🌟💚
Here to support my girl✨
I think it's kind of funny. I wasn't interested in dating or sex either throughout school. My priorities were different. I wanted to focus on me, get my life together, and make money. My friends were dating, but I didn't think me not dating was weird or anything. One pet peeve of mine is when others try to put a label on me with something I don't even identify with. For some reason, my love life came into someone else's conversation and they brought up that I was "asexual" just because K don't date. My sexuality and love life is literally no one's business. So I was pissed af for someone to assume that me not dating was "abnormal" and to think of different sexualities that I may be. Some people just aren't into dating. And it doesn't mean they're guy, straight, bisexual, whatever the fuck else. People just have different priorities in life. But anyways unexpectedly loss my virginity at 26 with a great guy. I am attracted to a few more men now, but I'm still not looking to date. My goal is shine explore and be best I can be.
Chi chi this was so beautiful. This video was so personal, and I loved how you included clips from throughout your journey. I really felt a connection to what you were saying💗
Ur style>>>
Thank you for being so open with us, you genuinely didn’t have too but we appreciate it especially those who can relate to you. I’ll be honest while you were explaining I was both surprised and a little confused but literally once you played the clip of the guy I literally was like “oh yeah makes sense” so good that you included that. Thanks for sharing ☺️
ooo I love this! and I see we’re getting closer and closer to 200k purr
Also chi chi please don’t be too hard on urself always uploading weekly💜💜 I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come since I’ve first started watching you. I jus want to you remember that ur supporters have ur back and care about ur well-being.
this made me feel so valid
Your not missing out on much 😭 you look gorgeous btw 💓💓💓
I watched this so late, but this video HELPED...Like I am a senior now in high school and about to go and it HELPED
Friends would have got put out the car, right then and there. But your gorgeous and don’t owe anyone anything.