0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
Don’t understand why you are against Trump, I am not a political person, but when he was is office stocks were up, real estate prices were reasonable, interest rates are low, gas prices are low. I think you may be bias on that since you are. Democratic. My parent are from a communist country, and Trump had signed 7 peace treaty more than any other president. I am not for him or against him. I feel people like you may benefit from politics. I don’t trust a lot of people on you tube. I hope you are a sincere person. ,
@@ItallaboutwatithinkI am upper poverty class and I'm very happy. Kidding, have no idea what im classified as and dont care. I just know im happy and blessed 😊.
This episode really convinced me to roll my old 401k to an IRA by end of this year. I am paying .06 in the 401k versus .03 in an IRA. We are talking about $1.2 million worth of fees.
I’ve always dreamed of seeing the CSP of a surgeon and just wow!!! I couldn’t have prepared for seeing those numbers… eternally grateful to the guests on this show and Ramit for bringing us this wisdom every week!
I am thankful everyday that I saw your Netflix show because I dropped my 'financial advisor' almost immediately afterwards. Now my dividends are MY DIVIDENDS and not being used to pay his fees.
OMG, when she said she would rather cut her expenses than anything else. I’m about to turn 60 years old and I still remember getting ready for vacation and I had already filled my suitcase but wanted to bring more. My mom said,” I have plenty of room for your stuff in my suitcase.” She had only packed two pairs of pants for a two week vacation and then I asked her why she explained two pairs was all she had. This made me feel tremendously guilty. Give your kids a budget, give them limits, please. Please show your daughter that you are worthy of self care so she breaks that trend.
I was surprised that you have people that complain if the guests make a lot of money and somehow they think it means that doesn't apply to them. To me, I gain something out of every single couple I listen to. It's not only eye-opening in terms of my childhood and to think of how my former spouse and I handled money. (Married 25 years and NEVER discussed money at all.) I gain not only those insights but also some real factual and solid advice on how to move forward. I'm 67 years old and in 2019 I did a no spend/low spend year that got me completely out of debt and allowed me to buy my small home in 2021 which will be paid off in 2025. You have given me a path forward that looks beyond financial goals. Thanks to you for making me actively think about what my rich life is and how it's completely within my ability to achieve it. In case you can't tell, I'm smiling as I listen to you.
i absolutely agree, anyone can have issues with money as it is psychological and there is not one number that would work for everyone, I feel I learn more from these episodes as I grow in my financial journey, its important to realise what "NOT" to do as well. Lifestyle creep is a real thing as shown here.
All the way agree. Commenters boasting about being poverty stricken and better with money than these people. I just read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad and at 41 am finally realizing why a 6 figure income still has me in a crap vehicle and always just barely surviving.
This is one of your best episodes yet. It is painful to see how bad they are being ripped off and not saying no to their kids. I never understand why obviously smart people (like a surgeon) believe investing your money is so complicated that they need to pay someone else to do it for them. Mind-blowing.
Doctors are used to specializing and knowing their craft extremely well and anything outside their specialty is spent to a other doctor who specialized in that. So in dealing with fiancés, seems pretty easy for a smooth talking salesman to say they know their financial craft extremely well and can provide the security you’re looking for. A doctor would trust the other person knows finances better and then trusts and hands over the money.
Especially when that surgeon is married to someone who is CLEARLY capable of making smart, big picture financial decisions with a clear head (not talking spending here, but investing).
For some people, the idea of having someone else managing their money makes them feel prestigious. We have this idea that only wealthy people have money managers (which is sort of true) but in today’s world of index funds, investing is way more simple than it ever was. Most people do not need money managers.
Such an insightful episode. I’m a physician in my mid 40’s and so many times I was sold this whole life insurance story. Somehow I was always skeptical and never signed on. Thank god for that.
Whole life insurance isn't a rip-off, but it's appropriate for some and not for others. The real issue is that people need to make informed decisions -- it isn't helpful even if the policy benefits the client, but they don't understand it. She invokes Suze Orman. This woman is not an expert and cannot speak with authority on permanent insurance. She doesn't know the industry or the regulations, nor is she familiar with the research of integrated planning. Her retirement planning is entirely an accumulation-based approach, but retirement is about distribution and managing various risks during that time, and permanent insurance is a complement to investments there.
@@maliqmatthew1009term life insurance will accomplish the same thing for cheaper - if you die, your SO gets paid out. That’s what life insurance is for. If you want a return on your investment, look to diversified index funds for better returns than whole life insurance.
Solution for kids. We tell ours we have other priorities for the money. The annual vacation, Christmas, regular clothing expenses, extracurricular....all valid priorities over "I want". This is something they can understand at 10 and 12 and still feel secure that we are not "out of money".
My teacher recently gave me your "I will teach you to be rich" book and I'm 25 pages in. It's great so far. Your advice is good... I'm 13 right now and in a year I may be getting a job so I've been thinking of writing some advice that I find most helpful down on a piece of paper. Also I've been thinking of saving a month's worth (maybe a year but that almost sounds like Dumb Dan) and then investing some of it into something.
@@mr.austin8007 highlight and sticky notes. It's fine if you can't remember every single concept, but sticky notes and highlighting helps you be able to go back and reread the important stuff
@@mmp495 Thank you! I wouldn't like to be the majority of teenagers so im trying to do something more productive and different that would benefit me and my family.
I just signed on as a specialty surgeon for my first job out of fellowship and this was a phenomenal episode for me to learn from. Never. Making. These. Mistakes.
Thanks for this episode. The more I listen to you, the more empathetic I become. People have different lives, different incomes, and making more doesn`t mean everything is perfect. We all have problems and I am really glad that you are able to explore this and teach us how handle situations better, how to understand better, how to be better.
My daughter went to a private school with kids with unlimited budgets. I don't think they are doing the kids any favors by allowing them to become entitled brats. I'm glad they had this intervention.
I started my Roth IRA with an advisor 2 years ago and quickly realized how the fees were effecting me even with only 12k in the account. $160 in annual fee. Then 10$ fee monthly for something I didn’t even know and then fees on mutual funds. Essentially, I had made no progress at all within two years. Given I did make money, the money made was basically going towards the fees. Now, I have switched to fidelity and invested myself with low cost fees on funds. Everything is set to auto deposit and auto invest. Life is much better now.
The entire market went south, so why would that be surprising? If you were merely tracking the standard market returns and lost 20% one year, being back to even means you would've had to gain 25% the next year. Down years happen. That isn't a reason to panic, especially with a retirement account if you have a long time horizon. So long as you give the account time to recover, it will do so and then exceed what you previously had in there. Breathe easily -- you're playing a long game here.
Growing up, I was only told to save your money in the bank. I was never taught about investing, inflation, saving for retirement, etc. I never paid attention to it until I was in my 40s. I have a missed several years (about 15 years or so) for investing but I think I may still be able to get something from it now. Thanks to channels like this, I'm still learning.
As a mother of two young daughters our focus has been teaching them gratitude. I could not imagine getting them everything that they want despite my highly difficult and poverty-stricken upbringing. How does one learn to appreciate things in life if everything is easily and always given. I hope that the mother can shift her mindset from how things were in her childhood and stop living vicariously through her children. Maybe I missed it but did they discuss mortgage, school loans, car payments, college savings plans?
Nope.. they didn't. This Dr has mortgage, heloc on mortgage, car loans, student loans, CC debt, annuity, whole life insurance. And tons of frivolous spending. No direction of annual percentage of retirement savings. No goals of paying off mortgage. They need to set aside 20-30 per cent of income for retirement. Plus pay off debt. 30% of 445k is 133k.
@@FIREownyourtime - yikes and completely agree that the mother is "living her childhood " through her kids and its gonna do them no favors when they grow up. Whats with the 5 cats and that dog. and the way she talked about it- it sounds so high and mighty - get off that horse lady that your husband gave you!
The focus of these parents has been gratification, not gratitude. It's going to be tough to undo that "training". IMO, pushing pause on the family meeting is a HUGE red flag. The way the mother talked about the 12 yr old (who she's living vicariously through), I don't think the girl is going to take the news well. Daily/weekly lunch dates with friends, Sephora, Lululemon, Starbucks runs, etc. really add up. She probably thought her 400 dollar a month allowance was temporary, or that she could convince her mom to give her more.
@@FIREownyourtimeI worry about that for my grandchildren. Things can change and they may find themselves where there is lots less money! Happened to an acquaintance who grew up wealthy but had little as an adult.
No, whole life isn't a waste. It's a volatility buffer. There's plenty of research on how it is integrated into a retirement plan. I assumed at first that they were pouring huge money into the policy without covering other bases, but that isn't the case at all.
As an insurance agent myself the whole life in this case is a waste. He doesn't need it. However the term is beneficial. She has NO income. Cover his debts some income replacement. Ditch the term once debts are paid off. She's screwed if he passes.
$400.00 in Sephora for a 12 year old girl? I though she was like 15 or more. Both of them can see the mistakes the other is making, but they can't see their own mistakes. I love the episode! Thanks Ramit!!
I would budget $30 per month of drugstore items for a 12 year old. $400 is over the top and spoiling the child. Do they really want a child that out of touch?
Plus $800 a month on clothes plus "Starbucks runs and lunch with friends". $1200 plus a month spent by a 12 year old and her parents act like they don't know how that happened.
The title of this podcast and the focus on fees and the whole life policy seemed to minimize their largest issue. They have a big time spending problem. Despite their significant income, their current budget showed debt payments towards student loans and credit cards (meaning they have cards with a balance) and debt payments for a HELOC. Saving the advisor fees on their relatively small IRA (for their income level) and ditching the whole life policy should be done, but doesn't get them on track for him to ever stop working without a whole lot of saving more and spending less.
I feel like the wife is more upset about the expenses that she doesn't control or participate in. All those subscriptions, a 12 years old shopping sephora, lunch with friends.... wife could start an investment to show the husband what it could be. I am glad someone else was investing for them even with the fees because with their spending habits, that money would have completely disappeared.
Ramit was definitely much nicer to this couple, maybe because he's a surgeon. He constantly mocks other couples for all their mistakes. I like his financial advice but you are absolutely right, he didn't do a good job on this episode
100% So much time was spent on the other issues, when the root of their problem is spending they can't afford. With their current behaviors, no amount of skipping nail appointments are going to get them where they need to be. Sure they have a high income, but they need to get started on the spending. The fact they didn't disclose until the end a major renovation they were considering (with more debt) was a huge red flag that there is more beneath the surface.
This is by far the best episode I’ve heard on this podcast. It really shows how lifestyle creeps up on you, no matter the financial level one is in. Glad to see a couple that are willing to listen vs argue back at the lessons being given.
I have so much respect for all the participants' willingness to let us peep out their financial lessons from the comfort of our cozy chairs!! I do realize I can look at their budget proportionately to mine and see both the strengths and building opportunities in both. This was a lovely couple to listen to, and I think they've got the will and soul to make great moves from here - can't wait for more updates!
This is eye-opening. Life-style inflation is real as well as impulse buying. But they aren't in a bad position, they can literally fix everything in like a month because their income is so high. The part I can't wrap my head around is basically $3k on groceries as well as $3k per month on dining out.
11:46 I love this story already! Very humble beginnings and didn’t reach the big big bucks until age 40??!! Wow! I really need to stop complaining and worrying lol that alone is motivational!
She is literally destroying her child's financial future by completely indulging in whatever the child wants I'm sorry but there's plenty of free activities for kids to be in if everyone wasn't stupid enough to be paying for club sports which promise the moon and basically our money making industries
I am always looking for views, ideas and advice as to where I can make changes in my finances. I am no where near their income level, however, I am also not in any kind of financial trouble. I am looking for ways to make sure I stay that way. What are others doing that I need to make sure that I also don't make the same mistake. I prefer to learn from others as well as my own mistakes. Fool me once shame on you: Fool me twice shame on me.
Shocked that his student loans were not addressed. Did I miss that? Do they have college savings? $2500 a month on groceries? $3000 a month on dining out? I’d be a nervous wreck at their age with those expenses and so little in retirement. 😮
Right now they make over $55,400 a month. In retirement their children will be out of the house, and his salary will rise quickly over the years as his experience increases. $10 million net worth in retirement is very doable if they start now and invest carefully. They don’t need to take big risks with their investments. They also don’t need to cut their lifestyle back dramatically.
@@suzanneemerson2625surgeons have a short shelf life. Your ability to perform precise and focused procedures decreases precipitously as you age. Would you rather have a 40 year old or a 70 year old surgeon performing a procedure on you?
Just wanted to add that the wife has a lot of financial trauma and a scarcity mindset that needs to be addressed so she can heal. I see all the signs on her face because I suffered through it as well. Our upbringings are almost identical. I have said before that I was "sacred of money" and as a result avoided understanding it and learning how it can be a tool for me and my husband. Great job Ramit on carrying the conversation. Wishing them the best!
Agreed. Also let’s not ignore the host promotes a term life policy while over 90% of term life is never collected on so they just pay monthly for years to just stop. I wonder wonder the loss is on that money. $75 a month time 12 months a year Times 30 years equals $27000 and you get nothing if you don’t die?? Make that make sense.
It’s better to have a policy and not need it vs not having a policy and need it. Besides terms are dirt cheap for the amount you get. Mine is 24$ monthly face amount 500k for 20 years.
If the kids want something, make them earn it. Mow the lawn, do the dishes, do their own laundry. So many chores within a home...to earn your keep. Life lessons / experience help build character.
After listening to multiple episodes of this, while all of it is great advice, I think the channel should really be called " I will make you live within your means".
They should use the allowance language from your previous episode with Jennifer. She told her kids they didn't have to do anything to get the allowance other than sit down to discuss what she is learning about money because she never learned how to manage it as a kid. We started early with our son, giving him $5 per week in 4th grade now he is a great saver and knows how to budget for the things he wants. He worked over the summer and continues to have a part-time job (10 hrs per week) in college to cover the things his 529 plan doesn't.
This!! This happened to me - luckily I work in marketing and can recognize manipulation like that from a mile away and I got out of there as fast as I could
At 47.34, they are only putting $3870 per month. That's roughly 50k a year, less than 10%. At their wealth level, they should be investing a minimum of 140k a year.
This episode was mind-blowing for me. We have a lot of high income physicians driving really nice cars in our town and my kids all think they are “rich” and we are not. I know this isn’t true but sometimes I start to doubt and let the fancy cars fool me too! We have a salary less than 1/3 of this couples and 3 times more kids than him and yet our net worth is more than double theirs. I am completely shocked at how much one very small family can spend in one month! Wow! My mind is completely blown! I wish them the best as they rework some things!
Did anyone notice their end of month statement is -$8100???😮 50 yo making 445k after tax. You should be having 3-5M net worth at this point in life. Cut vacation cut grocery cut eating out cut frivolous spending. Pay into 401k, HSA, Roth IRA, max it out annually, start a taxable brokerage and just put into VTI. Pay off helocs, cc debt, mortgage. So much fat!! And how tired this guy looked. Working so hard with nothing to show. $200-300 spending money for your kids per month, if they run out too bad. Life's hard.
@@joesoccerfan4628you can. Put in trad IRA and then convert to Roth. It's called backdoor Roth IRA. They can do two accounts. One for him and one for his wife.
Prob don't have time to watch all this but a comment said they spend 3k a month on eating out? They are spending 36k a year eating out??? 2.5k a month on groceries for 4 people? 30k a year for 4 people ???????????
Being dead serious….it saddens me (for them) you can have an income that high and a net worth that low. It’s ok to “waste” or spend money on frivolous things with an income that high but it just reeks of gluttony and mismanagement (also goes along with them mentioning they don’t donate very much either). To be so smart and work so hard for that high income and then throw it in the trash can is very unfortunate.
Making 664k and only maxing out 401k is not acceptable. 1M net worth at 50? He should be at least 3M by now. What he needs to do is to max out 401k, HSA and Roth IRA for him and spouse every year, pay off student loan debt (carrying loans at 50!!!), fund a taxable brokerage account, pay off heloc, pay off mortgage. He will work to his 70s and wonder where all the money went. Not to forget his kids are 12-14 and possibly needing college fees in 4 years time. How do they not have a light under their butts?
First! Ok, half through. To Ramit’s point on finding ways to learn, putting limits on kids’ purchases and teaching them to spend consciously is a lesson we we call learn regardless of income level
Why are they so stuck on this $200 life insurance policy? Bad move or not it’s literally $200 of his monthly salary. They spend more than that at Sephora.
She is because I suspect she has jealousy/resent issues. She even mentioned how the convo when she has with her husband is not a turn on.. she's not righteous.
The parents are responding to their trauma they experienced in childhood. They both are telling their parents they are NOT going to be like them while at the same time, those messages learned in childhood are screaming in their head. Even if they didn't have kids, they would still respond in the same way. An investment in counseling to address childhood trauma, adult shame, and guilty parenting should be Step 1.
I'm curious about their retirement plans. She said she was reassured, but I was not. At their current rate of investment, it seems likely that they'd have to make a big lifestyle adjustment if/when he decides to retire, given the spending habits they've grown accustomed to. No discussion of saving for college or anything either. I get that they make a lot of money, but is the plan to just cover everything with cashflow? Maybe that's the type of thing they'll discuss with their fixed rate advisor. Didn't come away with an impression of their vision or rich life in the episode, but perhaps it was edited out.
I taught myself to budget. I'm 44, TX three graduated out-of-the-house children. Raised poor, by a single mom at 11. I was promoted from a regular employee to a manager three years ago. I've been employed at a nonprofit for 19 years and through I bought my house, paid for my home, had braces and two of three children with braces. No outstanding debt!! Investing. The children - one is a Marine, two are in college. We've traveled to Florida to Universal Studios and even to New York for vacations.
Great show Ramit, very good to see the different angles of personal finance, including the higher income couples. Very healthy conversation and great to dig into the psychology of money which is ultimately what money boils down to. Keep it up!
Fascinating conversation and a much appreciated willingness for this couple to share something so personal. I did my own reflecting on this one into my own childhood and now being a dad of two very young boys, thinking about how to build good money habits early on. Thank you again all for the conversation.
Ramit this episode is golden advice! The piece of how to determine fair fees and cutting ties with your financial advisor is key. Great info here. 👍 Thank you to this couple for being open and candid about their finances. Can you imagine being debt free with their annual income?! They could be multi millionaires.
I generally agree with the advice you give couples on this podcast and it helps them course correct at the right time... In this couples scenario though, i feel you got carried away with revealing the long term financial advisor fees. While those were important topics to address, the bigger issue with this couple was their extremely inflated lifestyle. Their overspending was just a touch and go in your conversation. For their yearly expenses, age and current liquid networth, they are way behind on their retirement assuming the regular age of 65. Their end takeaway was they are doing "good".. i dont know which metric they used to deduce that. If they have 2M liquid networth, at 4% safe withdrawal rate, they can only consume about 80k/year before taxes. With their spending, they cant sustain even 2 months on 80k. Even if we take out children assuming they are out of home, they could pull it max to 4 months. If we remove mortgage, maybe 6 months. They need to buckle up their savings numbers or this surgeon will be working for a long long time.
Cash flowing college would mean significant cuts in other areas. They will have two kids in college simultaneously if both attend. If they have a hard time saying no to monthly Sephora and clothing shopping sprees then I doubt they would they be able to say no to certain colleges and the expense that would come with.
Ramit, you're fantastic. You have opened my eyes & I forwarded this episode to a friend of mine. She was unaware of the fees she was paying. Thank you God bless
I like ramit so much that I wanna be like him in my next life since I’m already a grown person. Amazing show and I really hope for a season 2 in netflix.
I love your podcast, Ramit! I also really respected that you didn’t have UA-cam ads turned on since you had your own podcast ads. Will you please consider turning the UA-cam ads back off? Thank you for considering!
nice to see this couple has a new direction. busy lives can be a hurdle to making good financial decisions no matter how intelligent and hard working you are. I wish all the best to them and all the other busy, hard working parents...it's time to head into a new direction and lead the next generation to a place where they need to be, good luck people!
So important to listen to each other. A shame the decision to stick to duff life insurance and financial advice for so long was due to not taking the monthly payments seriously, until being drawn to a public podcast. Ramit is not a therapist but I wish some of the wisecracks from Jeff were called out. I wonder if there is an element of respect that is missing, as to why ideas are dismissed.
Jeff doesn't respect his wife because she's not a financial contributor. She literally carried him she he can become the surgeon he is, raising his offspring while he's absent majority of the time. His wife better realize that he can divorce her at any moment the second she's not subservient to him. He doesn't see her as an equal which was why he kept making wisecracks towards her. I suggest she start setting money to the side or start her own business. Once her kids are grown he's going to toss her out like last weeks trash.
I have done the "moving forward" twice. The first time pre-ramit, and the response was "have i done something to offend you", "i thought we were friends" all that guilt trip. The second time i used the template from the book and it went great, no snarky response and did not guilt trip us.
My wife is a physician and has read so many financial books including yours. She try’s to give her colleagues all of this information but it is amazing how even the smartest people in one area like medicine aren’t at all in finance.
I can relate to her upbringing 😢, I’m now 61 and dealing with how I was raised. I have so much anger towards my parents on my childhood and choices I’ve made.
I'm very curious. I grew up poor and hungry. Can you say why you're angry? Because you didn't get things you wanted? I'm asking cos this mother went the other way. These kids never hear no and I bet they're not happy.
@@janebaker4912 I feel my parents were irresponsible, lazy and just took advantage of me. I always had to fix the financial situation small to major. It went on for decades. Take from me to give to my other useless siblings
Wow …my husband and I only have 100K yearly gross income . We have a bungalow house ,mortgage paid in 9 yrs we did biwkly then wkly payment also 15% top up yrly. Two cars both paid. Im 50 hes 46, two kids. My husband a saver and im sometimes a spender 😊. We do have a little cushion in the bank plus enrolled kids in RESP in case they want to go to college. We have no debt. I like to watch these kind of financial stuff to keep me on track with our finances coz sometimes Im distracted I still feel envious whenever I pass by big houses or my friend’s who have big houses…
When she said she has a daughter that loves Sephora and lululemon, I lost it. 😂 I always see young girls buying these expensive brands and think wow these kids have a bigger allowance than my salary. These kids are so used to hit of dopamine when they buy something now that it’s not even about the stuff anymore. It’s about the luxury of having so much dispensable income at your hands.
And I feel that yes- they want to treat the kids to lavish gifts and items but when do you draw the line. As a person who is conscientious with money and a budget- it’s really hard to believe that this Amt of money is slipping away each month
She's raising her daughter to be an unemployed drug addict who'll be dependent on other people to support her. This is why the kids of wealthy people turn to the streets because they don't have basic common sense, responsibility and work ethics. They hang around other rich kids who have nothing else to do in life but overindulge with daddy's money. Well see how long daddy's money goes with psychologically damage children.
I really appreciated this episode. This gives huge insight what to watch out for and I think EVERYONE could benefit from seeing this. love tha channel, great content.
This was incredibly insightful. As a physician myself, I found many parallels. What's interesting is I grew up like Susan but now have a career like Jeff; while my wife grew up like Jeff and is now a stay at home like Susan. When I was single I was probably overly cautious with saving and paying down debt but overall I knew what I was spending and what I was earning. Once meeting my wife, we enjoyed life more and I found myself spending a little more after saving for so long. And from dating a few years it worked fine. Now we moved to a bigger home and have a dog and a child and our future is much more than just the two of us. Those life events which occurred much faster can easily derail any discipline created previously. My biggest takeaway from this video was seeing how and where others spend their money. It's always good to have cross check with others to say, okay we are making the same mistakes or yeah I guess we aren't spending as much on subscriptions relatively speaking. Thanks for the in depth video. and Thanks for Jeff and Susan for sharing their personal finances with us.
This is literally living beyond your means. Also she is educated and doesnt want to work, because she is a "domestic goddess". That statement in itself said a lot about her.
Running a household is work, but I agree. I bet the kid do zero to maintain the house. You'd think she wouldn't need to be in the work force cos they take home 400K , but here we are.
The husband makes more than half a million a year, she honestly doesn’t need to work. And she’s the one who cares enough to try to save them hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I love this couple! So respectful and down to earth. Hey Ramit, I would be interested to see an episode with a single parent. Not sure if you've done one yet? I've only seen couples so far.
Ramit, 10-15 years from now it would be cool to interview the kids on how they manage their money based on parents who were on your show! Granted you’d still be doing this 😅 stay blessed!
Your comment at 26:31 elicited a guttural reaction from the two of them. You see two of them let out their breath at 26:39. That comment hit home and hurt. And I felt bad for the two of them. Rooting for you both. Lots of hugs and well wishes from here.
What I didn’t see is saving for their kid’s college and encouraging additional investments. That’s a lot to just “spend” rather than using some for creating wealth.
45:30 it’s crazy how people don’t think they can relate. I’m broke as broke as one can be and the fact this lady is thinking this way is insane to me. I grew up this way. My mom giving the drink she had to us saying is ours for us to have something even if it meant her not having. This was often. Mind you she does her own nails now and her hair yet for a wedding coming up she’s paying for my hair and make up (trust me I don’t want it but it’s a family wedding she’s begging me to get professionally done for and mind you I’m 32) Ugh I’ve been watching your show so much and it’s opened up my mind and eyes a lot. I hope I get picked for your show because my partner and i DESPERATELY NEED ITn
This was a great episode . Mainly because I understood the Rosanne Barr reference of “I’m a domestic goddess” lol . And the fact that she said she floated both of them on 30k a year put so much in perspective of how flawed people’s expectations are of the dating market
We have ever used an AUM advisor. We have twice hired an hourly advisor, once about in 2000 and again in about 2014 a few years before retirement. Just a bit of fine tuning but we were told we’re doing everything well. We manage our stuff via mutual funds at about 55/45 equities to fixed.
Why didn't he ask him, "Why don't you listen to your wife? It seems like you know she's right and you choose to do wrong just to prove you're the boss." She's apparently already alerted him of every big mistake, but he seems annoyed instead of relieved to have a wife with good instincts.
My parents taught me about the value of money since I was child and I'm so appreciative of that. They taught me to work hard for I wanted and to not take things for granted. But parenthood nowadays is so different. Children get whatever they want from their parents with little o no effort. Then everyone complaints why the new generation is so spoiled and self-righteous.
Whatever happened to giving kids a dollar and telling them go to the dollar store and look in the 25c boxes?!? I do that with my children. I fear that their childrens spending (the fact that they even have a spending) has already created sicknesses in their children. The sickness of consumption. The sickness of bad financial health. The sickness of spending their parents money without thought. The sickness of selfishness (watching their mother not do something for herself and still demand a shopping spree). And to think all these sicknesses for children whose father is a doctor. I hope they curb these problems for their sakes ❤️💕
Agree. The parents need to teach their kids about money because they are setting up their kids for financial failure when they just let their kids spent whatever. In our family, our kids earn their money by doing chore and we teach them to put their money into a saving account. As parents we can set boundaries for the kids and those kids they don’t even know what they want to buy if parents don’t take them out to buy. My kids doesn’t even know what to buy. They just want candies or okay with their friends.
Maybe, I grew up poor and went crazy in my 20s with consumption until I realized stuff doesn’t make you happy. Maybe they’ll realize all the lululemon pants in the world mean nothing.
I can relate to Susan’s predicament with shopping for the kids and it getting out of hand. I wish everyone would stop shaming her about it. They can afford nice things! I like Ramit’s advice to teach them skills. Will be considering that with my own kids. I learned a ton from this episode. Love that you brought on a wealthy couple again. It’s a been a while. The illustration of the fee-based vs percentage-based financial planner cost was mind blowing!
She needs to think about wants vs needs. Does this child need a 400 $ aephora haul? No, just because you can afford "nice things" doesn't mean you should. Once debts are paid off then it could be ok to do. Consumerism really can cause problems no matter the tax bracket
I prefer my children to value relationships and experiences over materialistic items. My concern is that spoiling a child to that level will result in someone who is entitled and unable to appreciate the greater more important things in life.
Well it's kind of on her. She probably spoiled the kids because of her hard life, but it is not good for the kids Sure you can give them a good life but also teach them they are extremely lucky and privileged and literally in the top 1% And make them appreciate the sacrifice their dad is making. Surgeons work crazy hours and school is Rough
Just because you as parents can afford it doesn’t mean you should let your preteens spend thousand dollars every month on meaningless things! Esp if parents are struggling with debt. I don’t say anything about kids spending for extracurriculars because that’s worthwhile.
When he said he was shocked how much she understood finances, that came off pretty insulting and condescending, but maybe it’s just me. Something about this episode felt unresolved. Yes, they’re aware of the unnecessary advisor fees, but I don’t get the sense that they’ll set a budget, have family money meetings, or set family money goals. Only time will tell I guess.
Ramit, this is a great episode. Also, about switching accounts there is a way of not engaging with the advisors. You can do an ACAT (account transfer) and it’s all electronic and can be started from the new financial institution you will hold the assets in.
0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
I’ve completed this template and it’s really helped me with my finances! Thank you! Love your podcast! 💜
I'm happy to hear it! Thank you for listening and applying my material
Don’t understand why you are against Trump, I am not a political person, but when he was is office stocks were up, real estate prices were reasonable, interest rates are low, gas prices are low. I think you may be bias on that since you are. Democratic. My parent are from a communist country, and Trump had signed 7 peace treaty more than any other president. I am not for him or against him. I feel people like you may benefit from politics. I don’t trust a lot of people on you tube.
I hope you are a sincere person.
,
This is a great episode especially to show how the 1% fee adds up to a crazy amount of money
@@ramitsethiwhy do you always talk bad about being a republican? Democrats are just as bad. ENOUGH
These episodes teach me that no matter how much we make, it will never be enough, if we don’t change our mindset and behaviors.
Can't buy happiness. I rather be low middle class and have the happiness I have than them.
This is why I don't assume people that have greats jobs, have money. Most seem to be paycheck to paycheck.
@@ItallaboutwatithinkI am upper poverty class and I'm very happy. Kidding, have no idea what im classified as and dont care. I just know im happy and blessed 😊.
This couple is what happens when people only have an abundance mindset. It needs to be balanced with a scarcity mindset.
Amen
As a physician, I can say physicians definitely need financial advice
Or being healthy. The medical industry should be relabeled as the Sickness industry 😅
Hahaha truth
Advice to counter the docitis!
Do you and your peers outsource everything in life? That seems to be commonly stated and the major issue with overall finances for Doctors.
This episode really convinced me to roll my old 401k to an IRA by end of this year. I am paying .06 in the 401k versus .03 in an IRA. We are talking about $1.2 million worth of fees.
I’ve always dreamed of seeing the CSP of a surgeon and just wow!!! I couldn’t have prepared for seeing those numbers… eternally grateful to the guests on this show and Ramit for bringing us this wisdom every week!
I am thankful everyday that I saw your Netflix show because I dropped my 'financial advisor' almost immediately afterwards. Now my dividends are MY DIVIDENDS and not being used to pay his fees.
it is an orgasmic experience when my dividends come in
Well done. Most people don't need financial advisor
OMG, when she said she would rather cut her expenses than anything else. I’m about to turn 60 years old and I still remember getting ready for vacation and I had already filled my suitcase but wanted to bring more. My mom said,” I have plenty of room for your stuff in my suitcase.” She had only packed two pairs of pants for a two week vacation and then I asked her why she explained two pairs was all she had. This made me feel tremendously guilty. Give your kids a budget, give them limits, please. Please show your daughter that you are worthy of self care so she breaks that trend.
I was surprised that you have people that complain if the guests make a lot of money and somehow they think it means that doesn't apply to them. To me, I gain something out of every single couple I listen to. It's not only eye-opening in terms of my childhood and to think of how my former spouse and I handled money. (Married 25 years and NEVER discussed money at all.) I gain not only those insights but also some real factual and solid advice on how to move forward. I'm 67 years old and in 2019 I did a no spend/low spend year that got me completely out of debt and allowed me to buy my small home in 2021 which will be paid off in 2025. You have given me a path forward that looks beyond financial goals. Thanks to you for making me actively think about what my rich life is and how it's completely within my ability to achieve it. In case you can't tell, I'm smiling as I listen to you.
i absolutely agree, anyone can have issues with money as it is psychological and there is not one number that would work for everyone, I feel I learn more from these episodes as I grow in my financial journey, its important to realise what "NOT" to do as well. Lifestyle creep is a real thing as shown here.
All the way agree. Commenters boasting about being poverty stricken and better with money than these people. I just read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad and at 41 am finally realizing why a 6 figure income still has me in a crap vehicle and always just barely surviving.
Yes it’s like getting a life lesson without having to live that life or make those particular decisions
@@DickensFangirl Exactly!
@@mEgA_riLedShhh... Ramit hates rich dad poor dad!
This is one of your best episodes yet. It is painful to see how bad they are being ripped off and not saying no to their kids. I never understand why obviously smart people (like a surgeon) believe investing your money is so complicated that they need to pay someone else to do it for them. Mind-blowing.
Doctors are used to specializing and knowing their craft extremely well and anything outside their specialty is spent to a other doctor who specialized in that. So in dealing with fiancés, seems pretty easy for a smooth talking salesman to say they know their financial craft extremely well and can provide the security you’re looking for. A doctor would trust the other person knows finances better and then trusts and hands over the money.
@@mikaelaziegler9782phenomenal explanation
Especially when that surgeon is married to someone who is CLEARLY capable of making smart, big picture financial decisions with a clear head (not talking spending here, but investing).
For some people, the idea of having someone else managing their money makes them feel prestigious. We have this idea that only wealthy people have money managers (which is sort of true) but in today’s world of index funds, investing is way more simple than it ever was. Most people do not need money managers.
They are busy working I guess haha
Such an insightful episode. I’m a physician in my mid 40’s and so many times I was sold this whole life insurance story. Somehow I was always skeptical and never signed on. Thank god for that.
I work in health care. My employer has financial people who contact us for a meetings!
Physician here, 40yo.. The whole life vultures are always around here too.
Whole life insurance isn't a rip-off, but it's appropriate for some and not for others. The real issue is that people need to make informed decisions -- it isn't helpful even if the policy benefits the client, but they don't understand it.
She invokes Suze Orman. This woman is not an expert and cannot speak with authority on permanent insurance. She doesn't know the industry or the regulations, nor is she familiar with the research of integrated planning. Her retirement planning is entirely an accumulation-based approach, but retirement is about distribution and managing various risks during that time, and permanent insurance is a complement to investments there.
@@maliqmatthew1009lol it’s 100% a legal scam
@@maliqmatthew1009term life insurance will accomplish the same thing for cheaper - if you die, your SO gets paid out. That’s what life insurance is for. If you want a return on your investment, look to diversified index funds for better returns than whole life insurance.
Solution for kids. We tell ours we have other priorities for the money. The annual vacation, Christmas, regular clothing expenses, extracurricular....all valid priorities over "I want". This is something they can understand at 10 and 12 and still feel secure that we are not "out of money".
Wait till those kids start driving
My teacher recently gave me your "I will teach you to be rich" book and I'm 25 pages in. It's great so far. Your advice is good... I'm 13 right now and in a year I may be getting a job so I've been thinking of writing some advice that I find most helpful down on a piece of paper. Also I've been thinking of saving a month's worth (maybe a year but that almost sounds like Dumb Dan) and then investing some of it into something.
Great job! Keep it up and you'll go far!
@@jefdby if I can remember it. I can't even remember a sentence right after I read it. My reading memory us the size of a goldfish's
@@mr.austin8007 highlight and sticky notes. It's fine if you can't remember every single concept, but sticky notes and highlighting helps you be able to go back and reread the important stuff
Wow! You are far beyond your years. You will be so successful just with your mindset alone. ❤
@@mmp495 Thank you! I wouldn't like to be the majority of teenagers so im trying to do something more productive and different that would benefit me and my family.
I just signed on as a specialty surgeon for my first job out of fellowship and this was a phenomenal episode for me to learn from. Never. Making. These. Mistakes.
What perfect timing! Congratulations!
Thanks for this episode. The more I listen to you, the more empathetic I become. People have different lives, different incomes, and making more doesn`t mean everything is perfect. We all have problems and I am really glad that you are able to explore this and teach us how handle situations better, how to understand better, how to be better.
Amazing comment - incredible how our perspective changes when we get to look at life through someone else's lens.
Thank you
Well said. This is one of the main reasons that I watch these episodes.
My daughter went to a private school with kids with unlimited budgets. I don't think they are doing the kids any favors by allowing them to become entitled brats. I'm glad they had this intervention.
I started my Roth IRA with an advisor 2 years ago and quickly realized how the fees were effecting me even with only 12k in the account. $160 in annual fee. Then 10$ fee monthly for something I didn’t even know and then fees on mutual funds. Essentially, I had made no progress at all within two years. Given I did make money, the money made was basically going towards the fees. Now, I have switched to fidelity and invested myself with low cost fees on funds. Everything is set to auto deposit and auto invest. Life is much better now.
The entire market went south, so why would that be surprising? If you were merely tracking the standard market returns and lost 20% one year, being back to even means you would've had to gain 25% the next year. Down years happen. That isn't a reason to panic, especially with a retirement account if you have a long time horizon. So long as you give the account time to recover, it will do so and then exceed what you previously had in there. Breathe easily -- you're playing a long game here.
Is free to open a roth . Why is he charging you..?
Moving it was the right move to make. Vanguard and Fidelity have very low fees and have had them over the years. I would never pay an advisor.
@@teresavict1831 There’s annual fees and fees when purchasing funds. Overtime those add up
Growing up, I was only told to save your money in the bank. I was never taught about investing, inflation, saving for retirement, etc. I never paid attention to it until I was in my 40s. I have a missed several years (about 15 years or so) for investing but I think I may still be able to get something from it now. Thanks to channels like this, I'm still learning.
Didn’t start till I was 36 late also. Just do what you can with the time you have it will be more than you would have had. Good luck friend!
All the best to you! ❤
If you have kids, teach them to start young and change the family tree
As a mother of two young daughters our focus has been teaching them gratitude. I could not imagine getting them everything that they want despite my highly difficult and poverty-stricken upbringing. How does one learn to appreciate things in life if everything is easily and always given. I hope that the mother can shift her mindset from how things were in her childhood and stop living vicariously through her children.
Maybe I missed it but did they discuss mortgage, school loans, car payments, college savings plans?
Nope.. they didn't. This Dr has mortgage, heloc on mortgage, car loans, student loans, CC debt, annuity, whole life insurance. And tons of frivolous spending. No direction of annual percentage of retirement savings. No goals of paying off mortgage. They need to set aside 20-30 per cent of income for retirement. Plus pay off debt. 30% of 445k is 133k.
@@FIREownyourtime - yikes and completely agree that the mother is "living her childhood " through her kids and its gonna do them no favors when they grow up. Whats with the 5 cats and that dog. and the way she talked about it- it sounds so high and mighty - get off that horse lady that your husband gave you!
The focus of these parents has been gratification, not gratitude. It's going to be tough to undo that "training".
IMO, pushing pause on the family meeting is a HUGE red flag. The way the mother talked about the 12 yr old (who she's living vicariously through), I don't think the girl is going to take the news well. Daily/weekly lunch dates with friends, Sephora, Lululemon, Starbucks runs, etc. really add up. She probably thought her 400 dollar a month allowance was temporary, or that she could convince her mom to give her more.
@@TheSharmamThat's the problem she will never be happy with anything. It's always going to be what's next for ME. NOPE not today
@@FIREownyourtimeI worry about that for my grandchildren. Things can change and they may find themselves where there is lots less money! Happened to an acquaintance who grew up wealthy but had little as an adult.
Wow... $200 for whole life is probably a waste BUT $13,500 per month (dont know where spent) is the bigger issue for them to address.
Absolutely. And they are only investing about 7% of their income for retirement. They need to start spending more deliberately.
No, whole life isn't a waste. It's a volatility buffer. There's plenty of research on how it is integrated into a retirement plan. I assumed at first that they were pouring huge money into the policy without covering other bases, but that isn't the case at all.
Whole life where I'm from is a huge tax benefit for an incorporated professional.
@@laundrygoddess4Not at $200/month.
As an insurance agent myself the whole life in this case is a waste. He doesn't need it. However the term is beneficial. She has NO income. Cover his debts some income replacement. Ditch the term once debts are paid off. She's screwed if he passes.
$400.00 in Sephora for a 12 year old girl? I though she was like 15 or more. Both of them can see the mistakes the other is making, but they can't see their own mistakes. I love the episode! Thanks Ramit!!
Whew my guess is that price will only go up as she ages. Need to nip in the butt before it get even crazier
I would budget $30 per month of drugstore items for a 12 year old. $400 is over the top and spoiling the child. Do they really want a child that out of touch?
To think that I have never been in Sephora on a decent income.
Plus $800 a month on clothes plus "Starbucks runs and lunch with friends". $1200 plus a month spent by a 12 year old and her parents act like they don't know how that happened.
@@sct4040 They are out of touch themselves... so is not surprising..
The title of this podcast and the focus on fees and the whole life policy seemed to minimize their largest issue. They have a big time spending problem. Despite their significant income, their current budget showed debt payments towards student loans and credit cards (meaning they have cards with a balance) and debt payments for a HELOC. Saving the advisor fees on their relatively small IRA (for their income level) and ditching the whole life policy should be done, but doesn't get them on track for him to ever stop working without a whole lot of saving more and spending less.
Completely agree. I'm hoping it just got cut out of the final episode because there's sooo much more to discuss.
Well, at least Ramit changed the title.@@leahmanderson298
I feel like the wife is more upset about the expenses that she doesn't control or participate in. All those subscriptions, a 12 years old shopping sephora, lunch with friends.... wife could start an investment to show the husband what it could be. I am glad someone else was investing for them even with the fees because with their spending habits, that money would have completely disappeared.
Ramit was definitely much nicer to this couple, maybe because he's a surgeon. He constantly mocks other couples for all their mistakes. I like his financial advice but you are absolutely right, he didn't do a good job on this episode
100% So much time was spent on the other issues, when the root of their problem is spending they can't afford. With their current behaviors, no amount of skipping nail appointments are going to get them where they need to be. Sure they have a high income, but they need to get started on the spending. The fact they didn't disclose until the end a major renovation they were considering (with more debt) was a huge red flag that there is more beneath the surface.
This is by far the best episode I’ve heard on this podcast.
It really shows how lifestyle creeps up on you, no matter the financial level one is in.
Glad to see a couple that are willing to listen vs argue back at the lessons being given.
I have so much respect for all the participants' willingness to let us peep out their financial lessons from the comfort of our cozy chairs!! I do realize I can look at their budget proportionately to mine and see both the strengths and building opportunities in both. This was a lovely couple to listen to, and I think they've got the will and soul to make great moves from here - can't wait for more updates!
This is eye-opening. Life-style inflation is real as well as impulse buying. But they aren't in a bad position, they can literally fix everything in like a month because their income is so high. The part I can't wrap my head around is basically $3k on groceries as well as $3k per month on dining out.
11:46 I love this story already! Very humble beginnings and didn’t reach the big big bucks until age 40??!! Wow! I really need to stop complaining and worrying lol that alone is motivational!
Not having your kids feel that you don’t have their back doesn’t mean she can spend whatever she wants. The mom has gone to an extreme.
This. What a spoilt kid. Would have zero gratitude and joy in anything. Grow up where it's never enough.
She is literally destroying her child's financial future by completely indulging in whatever the child wants I'm sorry but there's plenty of free activities for kids to be in if everyone wasn't stupid enough to be paying for club sports which promise the moon and basically our money making industries
Some of the best content on the Internet, regardless of the income levels I always find a little piece that is impactful to me!
I am always looking for views, ideas and advice as to where I can make changes in my finances. I am no where near their income level, however, I am also not in any kind of financial trouble. I am looking for ways to make sure I stay that way. What are others doing that I need to make sure that I also don't make the same mistake. I prefer to learn from others as well as my own mistakes. Fool me once shame on you: Fool me twice shame on me.
Shocked that his student loans were not addressed. Did I miss that? Do they have college savings? $2500 a month on groceries? $3000 a month on dining out? I’d be a nervous wreck at their age with those expenses and so little in retirement. 😮
Yes like he needed to tell them they would need over 10M in retirement to continue to spend like this in retirement. Where are their 529 accounts?
Right now they make over $55,400 a month. In retirement their children will be out of the house, and his salary will rise quickly over the years as his experience increases. $10 million net worth in retirement is very doable if they start now and invest carefully. They don’t need to take big risks with their investments. They also don’t need to cut their lifestyle back dramatically.
@@suzanneemerson2625 you’re assuming that his life continues with no hiccups. Life doesn’t always work out that way.
@joycecornell4541 I agree! Plans should be made based on worst case scenarios, not best. Life throws things at us that we don't expect.
@@suzanneemerson2625surgeons have a short shelf life. Your ability to perform precise and focused procedures decreases precipitously as you age. Would you rather have a 40 year old or a 70 year old surgeon performing a procedure on you?
Just wanted to add that the wife has a lot of financial trauma and a scarcity mindset that needs to be addressed so she can heal. I see all the signs on her face because I suffered through it as well. Our upbringings are almost identical. I have said before that I was "sacred of money" and as a result avoided understanding it and learning how it can be a tool for me and my husband. Great job Ramit on carrying the conversation. Wishing them the best!
Blows my mind that people are worried about paying a couple hundred for life insurance but will blow thousands on crap 😂
Agreed. Also let’s not ignore the host promotes a term life policy while over 90% of term life is never collected on so they just pay monthly for years to just stop. I wonder wonder the loss is on that money. $75 a month time 12 months a year Times 30 years equals $27000 and you get nothing if you don’t die?? Make that make sense.
Exactly! I thought this episode missed the mark. I have low hope for his couple.
It’s better to have a policy and not need it vs not having a policy and need it. Besides terms are dirt cheap for the amount you get. Mine is 24$ monthly face amount 500k for 20 years.
@@israelgonzalez7335if you have term why you said dirty
She saw a Susan show and stuck to that like an anchor for nothing when she probably eats that in a day ordering food.
If the kids want something, make them earn it. Mow the lawn, do the dishes, do their own laundry. So many chores within a home...to earn your keep. Life lessons / experience help build character.
Just from the way mom is talking those kids are spoiled and will take it to adulthood
@@Trapz4Dayzyeah. So sad
@@Trapz4Dayzyes! I have very low hope that this will change too.
After listening to multiple episodes of this, while all of it is great advice, I think the channel should really be called " I will make you live within your means".
Which will make you rich. Lol
I wanted more from Jeff. What were his goals, what were his fears. Ramit is great at getting the women to open up, but I wanted more from him.
There so much missing here. Like how much they over spend and the life style bloat.
They should use the allowance language from your previous episode with Jennifer. She told her kids they didn't have to do anything to get the allowance other than sit down to discuss what she is learning about money because she never learned how to manage it as a kid. We started early with our son, giving him $5 per week in 4th grade now he is a great saver and knows how to budget for the things he wants. He worked over the summer and continues to have a part-time job (10 hrs per week) in college to cover the things his 529 plan doesn't.
Financial advisors are the worst - anytime they go from sales mode to condescending you know you’ve hit a hot button. Continue pushing it.
This!! This happened to me - luckily I work in marketing and can recognize manipulation like that from a mile away and I got out of there as fast as I could
Im glad that wealthy, intelligent people are still human when it comes to their money and psychology.
Great interview. Those figures are astonishing. Such lost time in investing. Imagine being able to put $25K a month into an index fund!?!
At 47.34, they are only putting $3870 per month. That's roughly 50k a year, less than 10%. At their wealth level, they should be investing a minimum of 140k a year.
@@FIREownyourtimewild... We make less than half what they do and we often put away more each month than they do.
Could have just put it in spy n had better returns
This episode was mind-blowing for me. We have a lot of high income physicians driving really nice cars in our town and my kids all think they are “rich” and we are not. I know this isn’t true but sometimes I start to doubt and let the fancy cars fool me too! We have a salary less than 1/3 of this couples and 3 times more kids than him and yet our net worth is more than double theirs. I am completely shocked at how much one very small family can spend in one month! Wow! My mind is completely blown!
I wish them the best as they rework some things!
Did anyone notice their end of month statement is -$8100???😮
50 yo making 445k after tax. You should be having 3-5M net worth at this point in life. Cut vacation cut grocery cut eating out cut frivolous spending. Pay into 401k, HSA, Roth IRA, max it out annually, start a taxable brokerage and just put into VTI. Pay off helocs, cc debt, mortgage. So much fat!! And how tired this guy looked. Working so hard with nothing to show. $200-300 spending money for your kids per month, if they run out too bad. Life's hard.
Great points. Just want to add that you can't invest in Roth IRA at their income level.
@@joesoccerfan4628you can. Put in trad IRA and then convert to Roth. It's called backdoor Roth IRA. They can do two accounts. One for him and one for his wife.
He can't invest in a Roth IRA directly but he can do a backdoor Roth IRA by converting a regular IRA.
So true. What a tragedy when people with great incomes have no real wealth to show.
Prob don't have time to watch all this but a comment said they spend 3k a month on eating out? They are spending 36k a year eating out???
2.5k a month on groceries for 4 people? 30k a year for 4 people ???????????
Being dead serious….it saddens me (for them) you can have an income that high and a net worth that low. It’s ok to “waste” or spend money on frivolous things with an income that high but it just reeks of gluttony and mismanagement (also goes along with them mentioning they don’t donate very much either). To be so smart and work so hard for that high income and then throw it in the trash can is very unfortunate.
Making 664k and only maxing out 401k is not acceptable. 1M net worth at 50? He should be at least 3M by now. What he needs to do is to max out 401k, HSA and Roth IRA for him and spouse every year, pay off student loan debt (carrying loans at 50!!!), fund a taxable brokerage account, pay off heloc, pay off mortgage. He will work to his 70s and wonder where all the money went. Not to forget his kids are 12-14 and possibly needing college fees in 4 years time. How do they not have a light under their butts?
it makes me wonder how common this is. i totally expected them to have a much higher net worth.
@@hownowvihao Agreed!
Right like they could be looking at financial freedom if they’d kept the lifestyle simple.
@@jaydubya9265100%. Or at least somewhere in the middle
First!
Ok, half through. To Ramit’s point on finding ways to learn, putting limits on kids’ purchases and teaching them to spend consciously is a lesson we we call learn regardless of income level
Gosh can you imagine bringing home $35,000 a month?! Amazing!
This is actually sad for the kids. They will have no idea what reality is when they want to move out.
Why are they so stuck on this $200 life insurance policy? Bad move or not it’s literally $200 of his monthly salary. They spend more than that at Sephora.
She is because I suspect she has jealousy/resent issues. She even mentioned how the convo when she has with her husband is not a turn on.. she's not righteous.
The parents are responding to their trauma they experienced in childhood. They both are telling their parents they are NOT going to be like them while at the same time, those messages learned in childhood are screaming in their head. Even if they didn't have kids, they would still respond in the same way. An investment in counseling to address childhood trauma, adult shame, and guilty parenting should be Step 1.
I'm curious about their retirement plans. She said she was reassured, but I was not. At their current rate of investment, it seems likely that they'd have to make a big lifestyle adjustment if/when he decides to retire, given the spending habits they've grown accustomed to.
No discussion of saving for college or anything either. I get that they make a lot of money, but is the plan to just cover everything with cashflow? Maybe that's the type of thing they'll discuss with their fixed rate advisor. Didn't come away with an impression of their vision or rich life in the episode, but perhaps it was edited out.
I think after this they need more counseling for their next step. It’s a lot to cover in one visit
I taught myself to budget. I'm 44, TX three graduated out-of-the-house children. Raised poor, by a single mom at 11. I was promoted from a regular employee to a manager three years ago. I've been employed at a nonprofit for 19 years and through I bought my house, paid for my home, had braces and two of three children with braces. No outstanding debt!! Investing. The children - one is a Marine, two are in college. We've traveled to Florida to Universal Studios and even to New York for vacations.
Hey man algorithm just fed me your show and you’re great, a real natural. Here’s an upvote toward your success and a comment for the algorithm!
I have watched most of your videos in last 1 month. Watching/listening to this while gearing up to start my day. Incredible content. Thank you!
Great show Ramit, very good to see the different angles of personal finance, including the higher income couples.
Very healthy conversation and great to dig into the psychology of money which is ultimately what money boils down to.
Keep it up!
Fascinating conversation and a much appreciated willingness for this couple to share something so personal. I did my own reflecting on this one into my own childhood and now being a dad of two very young boys, thinking about how to build good money habits early on. Thank you again all for the conversation.
This was a really good episode. Thank you for being so transparent and vulnerable. I learned a lot.
Ramit this episode is golden advice! The piece of how to determine fair fees and cutting ties with your financial advisor is key. Great info here. 👍
Thank you to this couple for being open and candid about their finances. Can you imagine being debt free with their annual income?! They could be multi millionaires.
I generally agree with the advice you give couples on this podcast and it helps them course correct at the right time... In this couples scenario though, i feel you got carried away with revealing the long term financial advisor fees.
While those were important topics to address, the bigger issue with this couple was their extremely inflated lifestyle. Their overspending was just a touch and go in your conversation. For their yearly expenses, age and current liquid networth, they are way behind on their retirement assuming the regular age of 65. Their end takeaway was they are doing "good".. i dont know which metric they used to deduce that. If they have 2M liquid networth, at 4% safe withdrawal rate, they can only consume about 80k/year before taxes. With their spending, they cant sustain even 2 months on 80k. Even if we take out children assuming they are out of home, they could pull it max to 4 months. If we remove mortgage, maybe 6 months.
They need to buckle up their savings numbers or this surgeon will be working for a long long time.
Just thinking about cars, college, weddings, etc., that the kids will expect if things don't change.
@@angelanadeau7411 Exactly.. Those are other lump sums which eat away chunks of savings in a shot.
$6,000 a month on food! I like to eat well, but wow 😮🤦♀️. My boyfriend is a surgeon but we do not live this way.
I’m sorry for their kids, they will learn hard way with money
Yep, I always wonder about people who make 20-40k but seem to buy very expensive stuff. It’s the bank of mom and dad.
I feel like anytime someone says they grew up middle class, their parents had either way more money or less money than they knew about.
Also, for such a large income, not much in net worth. He can always cash flow college but doesn’t leave a lot for them when they retire.
Cash flowing college would mean significant cuts in other areas. They will have two kids in college simultaneously if both attend. If they have a hard time saying no to monthly Sephora and clothing shopping sprees then I doubt they would they be able to say no to certain colleges and the expense that would come with.
This is an eye opener for me. Great lesson for all of us.
Ramit, you're fantastic. You have opened my eyes & I forwarded this episode to a friend of mine. She was unaware of the fees she was paying. Thank you God bless
So smart to seek advice. Cheering for you guys!
I like ramit so much that I wanna be like him in my next life since I’m already a grown person. Amazing show and I really hope for a season 2 in netflix.
I love your podcast, Ramit! I also really respected that you didn’t have UA-cam ads turned on since you had your own podcast ads. Will you please consider turning the UA-cam ads back off? Thank you for considering!
Thank you so much for posting this podcast. This is very helpful, especially for my mental health. Thank you to Susan and Jeff for sharing.
nice to see this couple has a new direction. busy lives can be a hurdle to making good financial decisions no matter how intelligent and hard working you are. I wish all the best to them and all the other busy, hard working parents...it's time to head into a new direction and lead the next generation to a place where they need to be, good luck people!
Thank you for taking a moment to talk about Wall Street and advisors!
So important to listen to each other.
A shame the decision to stick to duff life insurance and financial advice for so long was due to not taking the monthly payments seriously, until being drawn to a public podcast.
Ramit is not a therapist but I wish some of the wisecracks from Jeff were called out. I wonder if there is an element of respect that is missing, as to why ideas are dismissed.
He’s a surgeon. As a nurse, I can assure you there is a lack of respect.
Jeff doesn't respect his wife because she's not a financial contributor. She literally carried him she he can become the surgeon he is, raising his offspring while he's absent majority of the time. His wife better realize that he can divorce her at any moment the second she's not subservient to him. He doesn't see her as an equal which was why he kept making wisecracks towards her.
I suggest she start setting money to the side or start her own business. Once her kids are grown he's going to toss her out like last weeks trash.
I have done the "moving forward" twice. The first time pre-ramit, and the response was "have i done something to offend you", "i thought we were friends" all that guilt trip. The second time i used the template from the book and it went great, no snarky response and did not guilt trip us.
Tell them "Yes you offended me by ripping me off"!!! And friends do not rip friends off
The husbands comments at the end where beyond annoying. Maybe she didn’t appear to have knowledge b/c you don’t listen to her. Just a thought.
he's the one working as a surgeon--maybe the 'domestic goddess' can work on their budget since he's the one providing
*were* not where
Agree! She mentioned Suzy Orman, clearly she's been reading about personal finance for a while even if her spending is OOC.
This couple is a breath of fresh air honestly, this is the raw unfiltered reality of marriage and wealth
Someone wise once told me. It doesn’t matter how much you make. It’s how much you keep.
Been watching you for a long time , I value your opinion greatly. Your channel has been a motivation for me.
My wife is a physician and has read so many financial books including yours. She try’s to give her colleagues all of this information but it is amazing how even the smartest people in one area like medicine aren’t at all in finance.
Not that hard, as soon asu get paid put big chunck on ir aisde. U cannot spend what u dont see.
Not even 15 minutes in and she’s already said in a snarly tone
“I supported us while making 30k”
“It took him till he was 40 to be finally done”
Jesus
I can relate to her upbringing 😢, I’m now 61 and dealing with how I was raised. I have so much anger towards my parents on my childhood and choices I’ve made.
Are your parents still around?
@@Trapz4Dayz my mom is; been working on my inner feelings with a therapist
I'm very curious. I grew up poor and hungry. Can you say why you're angry? Because you didn't get things you wanted?
I'm asking cos this mother went the other way. These kids never hear no and I bet they're not happy.
@@janebaker4912 I feel my parents were irresponsible, lazy and just took advantage of me. I always had to fix the financial situation small to major. It went on for decades. Take from me to give to my other useless siblings
Wow …my husband and I only have 100K yearly gross income . We have a bungalow house ,mortgage paid in 9 yrs we did biwkly then wkly payment also 15% top up yrly. Two cars both paid. Im 50 hes 46, two kids. My husband a saver and im sometimes a spender 😊. We do have a little cushion in the bank plus enrolled kids in RESP in case they want to go to college. We have no debt.
I like to watch these kind of financial stuff to keep me on track with our finances coz sometimes Im distracted I still feel envious whenever I pass by big houses or my friend’s who have big houses…
I am 20 and my goal is to have these
When she said she has a daughter that loves Sephora and lululemon, I lost it. 😂 I always see young girls buying these expensive brands and think wow these kids have a bigger allowance than my salary. These kids are so used to hit of dopamine when they buy something now that it’s not even about the stuff anymore. It’s about the luxury of having so much dispensable income at your hands.
And I feel that yes- they want to treat the kids to lavish gifts and items but when do you draw the line. As a person who is conscientious with money and a budget- it’s really hard to believe that this Amt of money is slipping away each month
I am not being petty but 1800 dollars a month spent on herself!!? That seems seriously out of line
I know, I think that's really sad. This young lady is learning to be so materialistic.
It's disgusting. She wants a metal for mom of the year for not getting her nails done and can't say no to her kids.
She's raising her daughter to be an unemployed drug addict who'll be dependent on other people to support her.
This is why the kids of wealthy people turn to the streets because they don't have basic common sense, responsibility and work ethics. They hang around other rich kids who have nothing else to do in life but overindulge with daddy's money.
Well see how long daddy's money goes with psychologically damage children.
I really appreciated this episode. This gives huge insight what to watch out for and I think EVERYONE could benefit from seeing this. love tha channel, great content.
Great episode, but the worst sin that I hear is that they are not teaching their children, who are old enough, any fiscal responsibility.
This.
I would suggest to the couple to establish a monthly budget and pay off their $900,000 debt within six years.
Binge watching at 4:00 am. My second episode this morning! You’re awesome Ramit. ❤
This was incredibly insightful. As a physician myself, I found many parallels. What's interesting is I grew up like Susan but now have a career like Jeff; while my wife grew up like Jeff and is now a stay at home like Susan. When I was single I was probably overly cautious with saving and paying down debt but overall I knew what I was spending and what I was earning. Once meeting my wife, we enjoyed life more and I found myself spending a little more after saving for so long. And from dating a few years it worked fine. Now we moved to a bigger home and have a dog and a child and our future is much more than just the two of us. Those life events which occurred much faster can easily derail any discipline created previously.
My biggest takeaway from this video was seeing how and where others spend their money. It's always good to have cross check with others to say, okay we are making the same mistakes or yeah I guess we aren't spending as much on subscriptions relatively speaking.
Thanks for the in depth video. and Thanks for Jeff and Susan for sharing their personal finances with us.
Blows my mind that making $670K a year their net worth is $1.1M and not significantly higher.
This is literally living beyond your means. Also she is educated and doesnt want to work, because she is a "domestic goddess". That statement in itself said a lot about her.
I saw the back of my optical nerve with that line.
Omg I thought I heard wrong 😂
Get over it. It's a semi-joking term used instead of housewife or SAHM.
Running a household is work, but I agree. I bet the kid do zero to maintain the house.
You'd think she wouldn't need to be in the work force cos they take home 400K , but here we are.
The husband makes more than half a million a year, she honestly doesn’t need to work. And she’s the one who cares enough to try to save them hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I love this couple! So respectful and down to earth.
Hey Ramit, I would be interested to see an episode with a single parent. Not sure if you've done one yet? I've only seen couples so far.
Ramit, 10-15 years from now it would be cool to interview the kids on how they manage their money based on parents who were on your show! Granted you’d still be doing this 😅 stay blessed!
Your comment at 26:31 elicited a guttural reaction from the two of them. You see two of them let out their breath at 26:39. That comment hit home and hurt. And I felt bad for the two of them. Rooting for you both. Lots of hugs and well wishes from here.
What I didn’t see is saving for their kid’s college and encouraging additional investments. That’s a lot to just “spend” rather than using some for creating wealth.
45:30 it’s crazy how people don’t think they can relate. I’m broke as broke as one can be and the fact this lady is thinking this way is insane to me. I grew up this way. My mom giving the drink she had to us saying is ours for us to have something even if it meant her not having. This was often. Mind you she does her own nails now and her hair yet for a wedding coming up she’s paying for my hair and make up (trust me I don’t want it but it’s a family wedding she’s begging me to get professionally done for and mind you I’m 32)
Ugh I’ve been watching your show so much and it’s opened up my mind and eyes a lot. I hope I get picked for your show because my partner and i DESPERATELY NEED ITn
This was a great episode . Mainly because I understood the Rosanne Barr reference of “I’m a domestic goddess” lol . And the fact that she said she floated both of them on 30k a year put so much in perspective of how flawed people’s expectations are of the dating market
We have ever used an AUM advisor. We have twice hired an hourly advisor, once about in 2000 and again in about 2014 a few years before retirement. Just a bit of fine tuning but we were told we’re doing everything well. We manage our stuff via mutual funds at about 55/45 equities to fixed.
Why didn't he ask him, "Why don't you listen to your wife? It seems like you know she's right and you choose to do wrong just to prove you're the boss." She's apparently already alerted him of every big mistake, but he seems annoyed instead of relieved to have a wife with good instincts.
I've never met a surgeon who wasn't arrogant and thought they were the smartest. Takes a lot of confidence to cut into someone
This happens to both men and women. Usually whoever gets a huge boost starts getting an ego. Ego is the enemy.
More like she is the resentful one. He was going to be a surgeon with or without her.
My parents taught me about the value of money since I was child and I'm so appreciative of that. They taught me to work hard for I wanted and to not take things for granted. But parenthood nowadays is so different. Children get whatever they want from their parents with little o no effort. Then everyone complaints why the new generation is so spoiled and self-righteous.
Whatever happened to giving kids a dollar and telling them go to the dollar store and look in the 25c boxes?!? I do that with my children. I fear that their childrens spending (the fact that they even have a spending) has already created sicknesses in their children. The sickness of consumption. The sickness of bad financial health. The sickness of spending their parents money without thought. The sickness of selfishness (watching their mother not do something for herself and still demand a shopping spree). And to think all these sicknesses for children whose father is a doctor. I hope they curb these problems for their sakes ❤️💕
These teens need to work around their own house and earn their own keep. Not $700 on Lululemon. More like $25 per week allowance.
Agree. The parents need to teach their kids about money because they are setting up their kids for financial failure when they just let their kids spent whatever. In our family, our kids earn their money by doing chore and we teach them to put their money into a saving account. As parents we can set boundaries for the kids and those kids they don’t even know what they want to buy if parents don’t take them out to buy. My kids doesn’t even know what to buy. They just want candies or okay with their friends.
Maybe, I grew up poor and went crazy in my 20s with consumption until I realized stuff doesn’t make you happy. Maybe they’ll realize all the lululemon pants in the world mean nothing.
Excellent. Having more money has also problems and we are not always prepare.
I can relate to Susan’s predicament with shopping for the kids and it getting out of hand. I wish everyone would stop shaming her about it. They can afford nice things! I like Ramit’s advice to teach them skills. Will be considering that with my own kids.
I learned a ton from this episode. Love that you brought on a wealthy couple again. It’s a been a while. The illustration of the fee-based vs percentage-based financial planner cost was mind blowing!
She needs to think about wants vs needs. Does this child need a 400 $ aephora haul? No, just because you can afford "nice things" doesn't mean you should. Once debts are paid off then it could be ok to do. Consumerism really can cause problems no matter the tax bracket
I prefer my children to value relationships and experiences over materialistic items. My concern is that spoiling a child to that level will result in someone who is entitled and unable to appreciate the greater more important things in life.
Well it's kind of on her. She probably spoiled the kids because of her hard life, but it is not good for the kids
Sure you can give them a good life but also teach them they are extremely lucky and privileged and literally in the top 1%
And make them appreciate the sacrifice their dad is making. Surgeons work crazy hours and school is Rough
Just because you as parents can afford it doesn’t mean you should let your preteens spend thousand dollars every month on meaningless things! Esp if parents are struggling with debt. I don’t say anything about kids spending for extracurriculars because that’s worthwhile.
To this day I never knew how much money my parents made and I don't know how much my sister makes. It was never discussed. I'm in my mid 50's.
When he said he was shocked how much she understood finances, that came off pretty insulting and condescending, but maybe it’s just me. Something about this episode felt unresolved. Yes, they’re aware of the unnecessary advisor fees, but I don’t get the sense that they’ll set a budget, have family money meetings, or set family money goals. Only time will tell I guess.
I agree that things feel unresolved... I think their retirement savings are in terrible shape!
I make 100k and I’m doing fine . Still saving.
I just sold one of my vehicles. Broke even. 27 thousand dollars lighter. I feel better now. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Ramit, this is a great episode. Also, about switching accounts there is a way of not engaging with the advisors. You can do an ACAT (account transfer) and it’s all electronic and can be started from the new financial institution you will hold the assets in.