DMX & The Cautionary Tale: The Embarrassment of Common Law Marriage!
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
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#DMX #Marriage #Hypogamy
This is making me cry. This was me in a 15 year relationship, and never got a ring or fiancee status. I wasted my youth and my best years in a dead relationship. I asked if he had insurance papers in order, one to make sure our son was secure, and two, to confirm that he took care of his business. He kept saying o er a span of years mind you, "I have the papers, I called and they're sending them next week" Nothing even till this day. But he always made it clear that his first two kids were taken care of. I never in my life felt so effin low allowing this man to consume my life for so long. I put his narcissistic ass of my life for good. I will not be shamed on that day knowing I'm left with shit. Screw him
Get your own insurance
Get life insurance, and get a will done. Make sure you decide legally who will care for your child God forbid you should pass away.
Take out life insurance on him when his children are born. Most likely he will agree and if he is young, life rates are inexpensive. Employers are commonly offering voluntary spousal benefits. The real lesson is to value YOU.
I feel so bad for you , but you have to put yourself first@ understand that you deserve so much more than that..
Chadwick wanted to marry his fiance. DMX did not. Why is that an issue? He did not want to marry her. Common Law did not backfire. He did what it was supposed to do. It prevented that clout chaser from stealing an estate that she is not entitled to. While the family was grieving, that he was scheming.
That’s why you have to respect Chadwick for making his girlfriend his wife before he died. He understood…:.
Easy E did the same
But he had to be dying to be drugggg to the altar 😒 lol
@@OshunErzulieHetHeru yes but the last-minute was still legally binding and still gave the wife all legal control.
Absolutely! He loved and cherished her.
OshunErzulieHetHeru that may not have been the case. I believe that he believed he was gonna make it-I think he wanted to walk down the aisle when he was victorious. He probably didn’t want her to think he was just marrying her because he was sick. But in the end, he gave her his legacy.
Chadwick Boseman knew he was ill and still married his longterm gf. He made sure she was taken care of in his passing. He provided for her even in his absence. Godbless.
Yesss
Made me throw my phone in agreement. 👏👏👏👏 And the crazy part he was still working while being sick and we did not know. Still providing.
That part
And that's how you know men who refuse to provide this way are just selfish. You could die any moment, so why wouldnt you give the woman you love that protection?
If a man wants to take care of a woman, he will always make sure to make it happen. If he doesn't give a damn about what happens to her, it's her loss if she stays.
Playing house/marriage because a man claims he loves you and calls you "wifey" is a ticking time bomb. Without a marriage certificate signed and stamped I'm single period.
Total waste of time
I stopped playing house as a kid. She failed her child. Knowing who she was with.
Period
IT'S A COLD TRUTH,,,,BUT IT IS THE TRUTH!!!!
BOOM!!!!! I second this!!!
People think marriage is just a piece of paper...it is...a legal document, a binding contract. I know this and I am an unmarried women, people need to learn and not be so ignorant about their lives, his mother has more rights and can throw you out of the home you built together.
@M IA My goodness that is a terrible story but thanks for sharing! May he rest in peace.
Yes 🤦🏾♀️ yes.
@M IA 🤦🏾♀️… 🤦🏾♀️ … stop 🛑 having babies without a marriage.
In some cases men don’t divorce their first wife and the new common law/eternal girlfriend doesn’t realise until his death.. so sad. On the flip side, if you are dating a man that you’re worth more than it’s beneficial to never marry if you don’t want to pay out
Exactly. On a similar video, women in the comments were saying that marriage was just a piece of paper and he could still cheat either way. But what about legal security while you literally create a whole life inside of you? I’m not chasing a man around for child support. I will ONLY have a child with my husband and if it unfortunately goes bad, spousal and child support will already be taken care of through the judge. I’ve seen too many tired baby mamas trying to get their baby daddies served or begging for help from them. I’m not complicating my life. No marriage, no womb. Period.
That’s why I refuse to shack up with or have kids with a man that isn’t my husband
That's called wisdom and self-value. Good for you and don't change.
@@tlashai9902 👏👏👏👏💯
Period
I refuse to shack up with, have kids with, iron clothes for, and more with a man that’s not my husband
Smart!
I have a friend who’s been with her partner of almost 10 years now. He’s much older than her ( 15 yrs to be exact ) she met him when she was on her mid 20’s and now she’s in her 30’s. Sad thing is shes amazing woman who’s family oriented even helping taking care of his aging parents and kids .. she talks to him about marriage and kids of their own, but he bought her diamond earrings years ago to keep her quiet and stringing her along. She’s seen me dating men and moving on and always felt sorry for me but she has no idea how I feel sorry for her. I finally met a man last year and wanted to marry literally after 5 months during the pandemic.. she was shocked to her dismay. I owe my healthy dating life style to Chloe. I wish more women were brave enough to walk away and do bad all my themselves until their future partner can put in the effort they deserve.
It seems this man must be her first love...not that it's an excuse. But it just makes things more difficult for some women to move on.
@@Mirror_My_Ambition facts 💯👌🏽
Good for you
@@venusbonjour9303 Mmmmm....marrying a man after 5 months doesn't have to be a red flag I mean they got ENGAGED after 5 months so it's still that window period before marrying. Nevertheless, a mature, marriage-minded, financially stable man sees and knows what he wants right away and doesn't waste time provided she's on board. I'll tell you this much, it definitely doesn't take 5 plus years of "engagement" which THAT is the red flag itself and as a whole...that it's likely he'll never marry the woman. Engagements typically are 6-12 months long for wedding planning and life merging purposes.
@@lkofie6670 first love? She was in her mid twenties not a teenager. She should have known better.
"Marriage is just a peace of paper, it doesn't prove our love."sounds like"a degree is just a piece of paper. It doesn't prove that you are smart." Try being a nurse without a degree 😂
My point is that marriage is not about proving love anymore than getting a degree is about proving intelligence. Making them about those things is missing the point. Both marriage and degrees have benefits specific to them that have nothing to do with love and intelligence respectively. If you want to be legally recognized as someone's partner then get married. If you want a job that requires specific training then get the necessary training.
nkole nwaba well said darlin
I was so embarrassed for Lauryn London when she kept referring to Nipsey as her husband and when the estate was being settled she was not even mentioned by his family. 😐
WHATTT??? So she got nothing ?
My aunt stayed with a man for 30 years unmarried. When he got sick, she had no control over his treatment or whether they pulled the plug, his ex wife got all his benefits and she couldn’t even plan his funeral. In the obituary she was described as his “friend” . She was so embarrassed she didn’t even tell anyone he died. We found out months later
What she doesn't say in the video is the financial risk a provider takes of having half his resources taken away. A real conversation will take place only after women admit that this entitlement mentality of expecting provision just because the woman is in a relationship is not in the man's best interest. It can destroy him financially. The man has to provide for himself, not because he's a man, but because he's an adult. Imagine being a man and knowing that you have to pay for love and companionship. A real woman has her financial life in order so she's not a financial burden to her partner.
Wow 😮
@Joe Joe THEY give Us their Youth,Loyalty and Love!.....and LEGACIES......MARRY HER AND PROTECT HER!....
Judge Judy even tell folks marriage protects you and playing house puts you in trouble.
Judge Judy has been telling that to people for 20+ years and they still won't listen. Well... as they say, a hard head makes for a soft behind.
I almost remember Judge Judy saying that as well. That's why you both go to the courts to have it legally document for protection!
YES!
Like Al Green said, " Put it on paper"! 😅@@elisagreene2504
REMINDER: you’re Single until MARRIED and pieces of paper have power! I was hoping you’d make a video on this.
This!!! I let men that I'm rotational dating know from jump, that I don't do exclusivity before marriage.
Exactly
This guy I’ve been seeing keep
Saying he’s my man
I reply I don’t have a man
He gets so upset and says yes
You do
And I politely say no I don’t
I ended my engagement a year ago (best decision I ever made in my life). I decided no one will ever have claim to me again until they’re my husband.
I don’t even introduce people as my friend (if I run into people I know)
If I feel nice that day I’ll say this is (insert guys name). Not this is my boyfriend... or friend ...or anything lol
I always rotate dating except when I was in an exclusive relationship. But this time around I’m not even calling it dating. It’s called lunch or I can eat 💅🏾
I’m happy you getting your dating on girllllll
Keep up the great worl
Exactly little piece of paper is much better than BIG BAG OF AIR
@@g.pearson4726 Right!
@@g.pearson4726 Queen 👸🏽
Self Love means Security.
Amen
I agree
It sure does.
*Unless he makes you his wife, he's done nothing for your life.* Social media tries to downplay *the piece of paper.* At the end of the day the rate at which *husbands leave vs. long-term boyfriends when it comes to children will never ever* be on the same level, I want to secure a future for my children, drag me if you want to.
And you know what they say “a husband can leave you too “ lol 😂
They got excuse for everything. I’ve never seen a husband leave his wife so easy even if he’s cheating on her. He goes back home to her. ( not condoning cheating ) but it’s a difference between husband vs boyfriend.
@@tianabeauty5999 I agree
One of the best comments I’ve read! Boyfriends leave at a much higher rate than husbands!! The accuracy! And, people always think about the marriage in terms of the man & women & don’t consider children with the same level of attention. Even if a woman doesn’t want to marry, she better marry for those children if she has them or if she wants children, she better marry for them, if not for nothing else. We gotta think about marriage from a logical frame instead of an emotional one! When must learn to NEGOTIATE for the things that they NEED & want, PRIOR to a commitment!!
Women especially must learn to negotiate for the things they NEED!!
Chile you mean the courts didn’t recognize their spiritual marriage or title of Nubian queen? 😂
Girl, Nubian Queen got me 🤣🤣
🤣
Don't kill me ooo 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
😂
😅😂
It's so cringeworthy every time she posthumously refers to him as her "fiancé." I love DMX, but I honestly believe his first and ONLY wife was his true love, and don't think he had ANY intentions to marry this girl. I hope she can move on with her life peacefully, and that every child gets a fair cut of benefits.
He put his first wife through absolute HELL if that’s love I want absolutely no parts of it.
Ladies , always empower yourselves financially! Do not let sentiments, emotions and good preek cover your brain and make you foolish.
@Mona DeLeon l agree. He really loved her. but he was broken at such a young age so he put her through a lot.. l think he loved his fiance, but not quite the same.
The first and only wife was it… everyone else was… well. Sadness 😢
@@framingfemininity34 ...and the irony is, SHE KNEW what she was signing up for prior to the marriage so although she "went through hell," she went into the life of hell willingly until she chose to live differently, as she ultimately divorced him.
Let this be a lesson to you. When my grandfather died at the time of his passing had special friend ( a girlfriend of 15 years) my grandparents divorced in their 40s guess where his wealth went to? my grandmother was set until she passed because he never remarried. Let this be a lesson don’t be a man’s fool.
I don’t care how much you love him you wasting time/eggs/beauty but you have no property or wealth just protect yourself
Wow! Were they legally divorced??
I’ve heard a story like this. The “special friend”
even Showed up the deceased funeral acting a fool, barking that she is entitled to his money. The ex wife just sat gracefully with the children watching the hit dog holler. The money inevitably went to the ex wife, their children, and grandchildren.
@@PinkTaurus93 yes my grandparents married in the 60s and divorced in the early 80s
My grandpa dated the special friend since 2000 till his passing in 2015 she was shattered at the funeral
She said "special friend." 😂
THis is what happens when women allow men to talk them into this foolishness! You dont need that piece of paper until you need it.
Exactly. I wish women would stop being so gullible.
@@lydiamoon5235 Honestly, we receive ourselves. If a man doesn't share your core values, then he's not the man for you. Be prepared to walk once you know this!
Thank you Chloe I think I mentioned this before. I lost my husband 2.5 years ago to cancer. I was able to collect life insurance social benefits for me and our teenage kids.When I went to the social security office
there was a woman in the booth next to me crying. She was telling the clerk she was with this man for 25 years. The clerk said to her I’m sorry miss but without a marriage license I can’t help you. Yes it is very important. 👍🏽
Wow sad.
DAMN
Wow
A family member bought a house with her baby daddy of 30 years. He died only having enough life insurance for a cremation. She recently received notification that some of his creditors that she wasn't aware of put a lien on the house .She is upside down on the mortgage and might have to sell. So its a total lost for her.The sad part is she was the main contributor to the home.
Damn.
😳 wow
😔
I was this girl that fell for the "it's just a piece of paper". Chile, the ghetto. Lol never again
If it was just a piece of paper they wouldn’t mind getting it.
Girl me, too. I cringe at the old me.
This video needs to be shared everywhere! I have a relative who was a 20yr live-in girlfriend to a man. When he suddenly passed away, ALL HIS ASSETS WENT TO HIS EX-WIFE and kids because he never removed her name off his Will.
My relative’s name wasn’t on the home deed.
She was promptly kicked out of the home she shared with him. And his ex-wife and kids sold it. Now my relative is in an assisted living home, while the ex-wife and kids are living comfortably.
My relative invested 20yrs with that man FOR NOTHING. Ladies, If your long-term bf doesn’t want LEGAL marriage, LEAVE because you will get nothing in the end anyway.
It cracks me up when some women scream not wanting to be married as a self defense. It’s one thing if you want to date around. If you are sleeping with someone/ with them for the long haul, get married to protect yourself LEGALLY. It’s not about being in love
Exactly
I know a couple that are together ( idk for sure right now) for 20 years and the man wanted to marry the woman but for some reason the woman don’t want to get married and never been married so I’m alittle confused nobody brings this up and the man is a good man
@@shutit4024 probably personal history, not wanting to deal with divorce or never seeing a marriage function properly
@@szaszathebore8096 idk but she tries to push her daughters into being baby mothers 🤦🏽♀️ she’s kinda backwards still lol
I'll never understand the "marriage is just a piece of paper" crowd. Ask them about marriage and they'll recite a hundred different strategies and pieces of paper you can get instead.........when all you need is a signed marriage certificate. Get papers on him, Sis. That marriage contract gives you iron-clad legal standing, even in death or divorce.
Why have one piece of paper when you could have several? Lmao the DUST. 🤦🏽♀️
I know right? People want to escape legal binding when it comes to love, but that's not going to work for any long term relationship. Especially if you live together and have kids, of course finances and the law will be involved! You can't avoid "papers"!
Even in death(even if divorced), the first or current wife(as long they were married for 10 yrs) can claim his social security. Marriage IS more then A piece a paper. Medical decisions as well. ALWAYS make SURE YOUR name is on the housing/ morgage deed. ALWAYS have an IRREVOCABLE WILL(so no one can detest it)(regular wills can be detested). If a man says he's not interested in marriage but wants to have"benefits" RUN!!!. Only marry men who are TRULY, born again believers. Please DO NOT fall for the polyamorist lifestyle: This is just a way for people to avoid being moral(whether intentional or not). You deserve better. Why settle for a synthetic when you are a diamond(many will try to convince you otherwise)
@@misssincere5762 not married? Man.
My aunt is claiming social security on two dead husbands plus a pension and her own ss money. I'll shut down anyone saying marriage is just a piece of paper.
I work in the healthcare field & it has taught me that COMMON LAW is an easy way to lose. I just recently got married & I would NEVER CHOSE TO BE A COMMON LAW WIFE. I’m not even sure how it was even came about. I see domestic partners lose all the time thinking common law will allow them perks & benefits when it doesn’t
Congratulations 🎊🍾🎉🎈
Probably a group of dusty men put that out decades ago to trick women into settling…..
@@Lovelyone1 ikr it’s sad, not funny but true
@@purplelove3666 ikr and the lady at the social security office had been with that man for 25 years.
If a living trust, will, and a conservator is assigned before a tragedy or death occurs will this give a common law partner the same benefits?
Rule no. # 1: Make sure you take care of your own business; always look out for you first, period!
I choked on my coffee when you said he died without a will OR life insurance 🤯 Let that in itself be a lesson to all the wives, especially the mothers, to be sure your ducks are in a row as it pertains to life insurance. My husband scheduled a sit down at the bank as soon as we decided we were having a child. Final expenses alone are scary to think about without life insurance, let alone paying off the house on one income. No one wants to think about death, but it's coming eventually and we ladies and mothers need to do our diligence in securing our and our children's futures.
I choked as well when she said no insurance or will NO JOKE 😳
Just had a conversation with a friend about a will. I was surprised she didn't have one, especially since she recently paid off her house. I've heard of famous people dying without a will and it just doesn't make sense. 🤔 Even if you only own a cat and a beater car, cover those things legally. You'll have peace of mind knowing you took care of business.
If it's not on paper...it don't exist!
"If he hasn't asked you to marry him, in a year..he's not the one" ...Absolutely!!
Pensions, wills, advance directives, life insurance, investments, properties, ssi, medical decisions are all important to protect legacy. When a person dies, the family should be able to grieve in peace and not have to figure out how they will pay for the funeral or who the money will go to. Ladies protect yourself and have these conversations while dating before you even become a wife to him. See where his head is at and how he is with finances. Someone said the man didn’t make her a wife when he was alive so why would the judge grant her that request. It’s sad.
@@cds4584 I agree. It doesn’t take that long for a man who is serious about a woman to marry her. A lot of woman sadly mistake longevity in a relationship as compatibility. You can cook, clean, be there for him in every way and that man still will not marry you. Not every one we date will be suitable life partners. Choose wisely ladies and look at the signs early so you can move on if you have to.
That truth was said with gasoline ⛽️ and fire 🔥.
Ladies, do all that you can to secure the bag. A provider man will make it his aim to take care of you while he is alive AND beyond his death! Hope that doesn't sound morbid! LOL
Chadwick did. Look at how he married his gf right before he died. I was shocked when he passed, and sad. I had no idea he was even sickly.
My mother was with my father for 16 years, and he strung her along with promises of marriage. When he went on disability, she worked double shifts to pay the bills while he sat up there. When he died, all of his benefits and insurance went to his family and they didn't give her any of it. She warned me about men wanting to move in quickly when I got my first apartment. Women have to make sure they are protected legally, and not let these "it's just a piece of paper" men convince them to give them all of the benefits of a wife without any protection.
That's sad your mother got the short end of the stick concerning your dad. Never let a man put you in a position of settling for crumbs in a relationship. You have the power to say, "No", if he tries to sell you short. But you have to let him know from the very start and be willing to walk if he wants you to accept less than what you desire.
It took me 8.5 years to find this out. On his death bed, his daughters that rarely visited made all the decisions. Medical decisions, which hospice to use, burial etc... Never again.
No life insurance?! I can understand if he didn't want to marry the woman (or any of them), but with that many children left with absolutely nothing... That's shameful and disgusting.
@@brownbeauty8578 Right! I signed up my first job after college. In case anything happened to me, my parents wouldn't struggle with any expenses. This was irresponsible and horribly poor planning on all of the adults, not just him. I know people from the hood that have life insurance on their baby daddies. I'm just blown.
I think his children should definitely recieve his money 💴 not a girlfriend
She also has a child this is where she messed up
What about his fiance?
@@maiamiimaiam4343 a fiancé is a girlfriend
She could attempt to file a claim based on a universal partnership agreement, Good luck to her
FYI: I use to work in hospital registration and mostly black couples were in a “common law” relationship . When interviewing the men they “ always” stated being “single” and put down girlfriend as “common law”. One thing I’ve always noticed the women always look embarrassed.
I don’t like that name common law. It’s just sounds degrading like you’re common dwelling. It’s like anybody can get you because you’re a common factor.
Horrible
Damn shame
It IS embarrassing when you're publically forced to acknowledge you're not even wife material, morally or legally. Especially, if you're in a long term relationship. Men may not seem to care, but most women in particular feel a sense of shame, even today, if their morals are silently judged. 😢 Sorry to say, but "wife" still sounds better, socially, than "common law."
The gworls don’t understand that marriage at the forefront is about securing your legacy. The law doesn’t care what bond you have it’s all a game plan that has to be acknowledged and executed correctly to reap the maximum benefits.
Yeah but these gworls will still be like "but I looooove him! 😫" and will keep their standards low until they learn 😂
@@kathyalex778 😭 welp they shall be left behind because as an adult you see what you want to see and hear what you want to hear
'Girlfriend' means friend with benefits.
'Fiance' has come to mean Extended Girlfriend.
And 'Commonlaw wife' means: "Well....since I don't have the energy nor the testosterone to be chasing tail like I used to because of advanced age, I might as well stay with the one I have so I don't die alone in a urine-scented wheelchair with diabetes and gangrene."
LOL😂
Urine scented wheelchair I AM WEAK, CRYIN', HOWLIN' 🤸🏿♀️😭
Damn now that's the truth.
I laughed way too hard at this 🤣😂
That’s weirdly accurate 😂
All you ladies who say "I don't care about money, I've got my own, so I don't need a piece of paper to tell me we are in love." You do. It's not just money, though money is important. A wife gets to make health decisions, if there is an accident the hospital can block a girlfriend or fiance from seeing her man, but not a wife.
Marriage comes with hundreds of legal benefits, not just money, and if your man doesn't want you to get those benefits, he is telling you everything you need to know.
No life insurance or a will!?!??!
Black people MUST do better. Smh.
I was thinking the same thing no will or life insurance !?
My mouth almost dropped to the floor. After the first kid there should've been something put into place. He had 15!!!!!! He didn't care if his kids were straight at all????🥴 Jesus help us.
@@Aurora0510 girl you better preach. Black women are the only ones who fall for that crap. I swear I be seeing the most tough faced, bad built, ruff and tumble, Beckies, Maria's, and Ling's at my jobs. Then they will mention my husband this or that. I'm like someone married you!?! But they know what it means in other cultures. And shit jokes on me, they got the ring from somebody so I know I can too. Anything else sounds like a dream being sold and I don't want no parts of it.
@@AB-qv9ku girl you betta speak on it. I be seeing it too. Blk women gotta take notes
Girl, a whole grown man with no will or life insurance!? it's embarrassing🥴
As a Christian and as a law student when I hear people say "it's just a paper" it makes me wonder how they came to that conclusion. Really makes me wonder. Probably went through a lot or other people drilled that into their heads. Trust me yall. Whoever thinks marriage is not significant you're already lying to yourself. That's for elementary school, thinking like that. You're an adult now.
Amen Sis🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Trust me they won’t. They settle for being a baby mother
Period!!!
@faith umuk salary and income can increase, might even be the death policy at the job even without those financial benefits..what about decision making in those final hours or even attending the hospital...none of that is your 'right' without legal paperwork of some sort....and where are you going to live or who will have that favourite car, ring even hat he loved so much?...Not you or the children you may have had with him...if you're lucky your child maybe at the end of the line.
I 've heard that from people for years, marriage is just a piece of paper. Yeah, and at his funeral your name is at the bottom of the obituary as a special friend.
I was waiting for this video! Me and my friend had a huge argument about this. She is against marriage sayin that it doesn’t determine if a man will treat you with respect or not. She also said how as far as a man’s property and finances, you can get a lawyer to write up contracts so that you will be protected. And I was just so confused. Why would you want to write up a bunch of contracts when you can just be a wife and be entitled to everything? Men have convinced women on how to get everything that they want and give us nothing in return
People will come up with any and every excuse in the book to refrain from holding themselves accountable for having low standards, and I think a lot of people but especially black women have “the struggle” normalized to them making them conditioned to do things the hard way. Working smarter not harder often means admitting to mistakes or that you don’t know something(s), and most people lack the humility for that so they continue the same dusty patterns.
I'm tired of hearing this argument about marriage and men and mistreatment. Sometimes people need to recognize that are choosing from a shallow pool.
@@questionresearch8721 THIS!! Marriage to a bum/devil sucks but marriage didn’t change he was already like that and he’d be like that even if y’all weren’t married! 🤦🏽♀️
@@framingfemininity34 Thank you. 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
@@framingfemininity34 Thank You
She should have known better. Spouses have to fight with children over assets as it is even when the marriage is legitimate. GET YOUR PAPERWORK TOGETHER MARRIAGE OR NOT!
Big facts! I work in the legal field and I have seen it. Very ugly
Especially after having a kid with him having a whole two teams. She didn’t protect her child.
Thanks for this validating message. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It holds value and merit. For example, my parents were married in 1983 and divorced in 2014, a few years after we migrated to America.However, my mother recently found out that she is now entitled to my father Social Security benefits despite the divorce. Marriage is a legal binding document. It is recognized lawfully, socially and economically. Stop gaslighting yourselves ladies.
Very true. Pensions and life insurance benefits may also be a possibility after divorce....depends on certain criteria but possible.
@@aqueelahbarrie4119 I know pension is highly likely. Mind you, My dad is still alive and my mother is entitled to his benefits.
It’s very important. My mother is living of if benefits she’s entitled to as my deceased father’s wife. What you get legally as a wife is exactly why I don’t and won’t play house.
Yes, You are eligible to collect spousal Social Security benefits as long as: The marriage lasted at least 10 years. Don't take my word for it. Google it yourself. Also, the social security administration has plenty of info at ssa.gov
His children should get his inheritance. She can get another man, they can't get another father.
Smdh. Neither a will nor life insurance?? These people are too old to be making these young ass mistakes. I can't waste pity on low-hanging logic.
tbf in DMXs case his death was very unexpected, but yes with his status he should have started a will or something
@@GabriellaGodessa Was it truly that very unexpected...
@@ArtemisUnderscoreJ so soon yes as he did pass away at earlier than expected
Is "Marriage still a piece of paper" OR NAW??? You gonna learn TODAY!!!!😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
I thought of u when Wendy Williams talk about this today … I will never waste my time with a man for Years without getting him to marry you . I learned the hard way 6 years with a man and boom he moved on to the next woman within a weeks
Did he marry her?
Stay strong my cuz going on year 15 with the guy who hasn't married her
@@Lorilores you’re already 18 months behind. Men know they want to get married within 6 months of dating.
@@Lorilores okay. If he proposes , go to the a courthouse/registry office to get it done legally to prevent unnecessary additional delay of waiting for a big white wedding.
@@Lorilores I'm not even gonna give you any advice because deep down, I know that you already know. The choice is yours to make.
Folks are quick to say marriage is just a "piece of paper". That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Because when stuff gets real the government does not recognize " If it ain't broke don't fix it" situations or decade long boyfriend and girlfriend scenarios. As women, we have to move more intelligently and cover our butts.
Exactly
Common law marriage, prenups, among other things have spit on the traditions of marriage and WOMEN are almost always the ones who pay the price for it in the end! Ladies, marry UP and make sure that a man you marry will LEGALLY marry you and fully take care of you financially! Chloe, I admire you so much for telling the truth about today's nonsensical and backwards dating "rules". Stay hypergamous, and you'll always win in the end ❤️
Never believe someone who says that marriage is just a piece of paper. They may believe that when they say it but when that person for them comes along, all of a sudden that “piece of paper” becomes as significant as they didn’t realize before.
If they say that to you, they just want to waste your time. Don't fall for the okie doke. Politely shake their hand and send them merrily on their way. If they do indeed find the "right one" later on, at least you won't be left with a broken heart, hurt kids and regrets. No harm, no fowl.
She probably didn't want to seem like a "gold digger" so never said anything about the affairs🤦🏾♀️... sad
She shouldn’t of had to say anything to begin with. He knew he’s been sick all these years and never took the steps to financially cover her. Not even a will was written. It’s just Irresponsible to have that many kids and not have something set up. You’ve left them with nothing but chaos.
She have a son for him: at least have an insurance policy to cover your son's future, sheesh.
@@gmartin5453 right! This is totally a lack of responsibility on his part 💯% He had the resources, albeit mismanaged, to advance his family and frankly the community. My comment was in regard to her mindset considering even from here we can see he clearly had poor decision making skills.
@@shekinahfire5936 yeah this is a whole "live in the moment" dust storm smh
@@radiant_gem6736 It'sad ; I'm glad Chloe shedded light on this situation, to enlighten ladies to never be so in love that you forget about the business side! 🔑
Girlfriends don't get wife benefits. That is all!! 💯
Marriage and dating are two separate things otherwise everyone would be “married” when “dating” in elementary, middle or high school. Dating has an expiration date - literally called dating. It isn’t meant to last forever - marriage is.
This is a Cautionary Tale that I seen happen in so many women’s lives. Marriage is legal protection for the wife and children’s .Let no man love you to death and can’t provide for you in the living.
Earl's fiance should have learned from Dmx first marriage; on the breakfast club interview with Tashera Simmons she said "Dmx had made 40 million dollars and left her with nothing" (when he went to jail. She had to write a book , just to pay bills and stay afloat financially. He was very financially irresponsible, baby girl should've taken notes!
Exactly
Yes she said he would spend $100k a month. Blowing through money.
@@8213apice Smh..
Yes! She still has some time to get a book out before she becomes totally irrelevant
His children should get it. He's sending a non-verbal message by not marrying you. Words don't matter.
Yes yes...always believed that there are two things women need to have
in her back pocket...Money and the Law...those two things protect us...yes a husband or boyfriend or partner... could cheat...but as far as the social and financial benefits a women can get we know marriage beats all forms of partnerships. And I’m not saying this as insensitive but look at the difference between Vanessa Bryant and DMXs fiancé...Vanessa did not go through this whole tug of war...like Chloe said the worst thing you can do when grieving is add the burden of court cases and financial battles.
EXACTLY
Tell the truth!!
If you don't marry your partner but he has children then the children are more entitled than you to his inheritance. That makes sense because if you treat fiances the same as lawful wives then any girlfriend can get it which isn't right. What I learned from this video is that marriage is about security more than it is about love. The title of wife gives you more power than the title of girlfriend or fiance. But any thank you Chloe for another informative video. Your hard work and care is truly appreciated. Stay blessed yall!
This is why, according to the government, (that me and my husband work for) you are married or unmarried period, there is no in-between stratification of relations. Having insurances, wills and joint accounts (especially when children are involved) is lucrative. Put the value back into family and as long as you live on American soil you are single until your married.
You have saved me from so many bad decisions. Love you so much! Thanks Chloe!!
Great video ❤️
AMEN 🙏🏽she sure has
I'm not married or dont have any kids ( the definition of super Dee DUPER single) but I read a comment that said "paper always rule" and I want to attest to that.
When I was finally able to afford going back to school on my own, I applied to a University and received a rejection letter and an acceptance letter one week apart. I called the Undergraduate Admissions Office and after telling the woman my situation, she laughed and in a jolly tone said "Oh it was probably a mistake! Just accept the acceptance letter."
I responded with "Okay. Can I receive that statement in the body of an email?" And that changed everything. Her ENTIRE demeanor changed. Her TONE changed. She immediately turned serious and said "Hold on." When she came back on the line, very professionally compared to before, she said that someone from the Processing Dept will be in touch with me.
The rejection letter was a mistake and I graduated from that University but why so serious when I asked for a written statement? Because paper (or in my case, email😂) matters! Thanks for driving that point home for me Chloe❤
My ex had an aunt and blood uncle that were "common law" for 40 years when he passed. She barely worked and had no savings. He left no will, no insurance, but he had a pension. All his assets went to his kids (not hers biologically, who fought over it). She ended up HOMELESS, having to live with her sister.
“Argue with your liver”😩🤣. This is all facts. All we saying is protect yourself ladies.
PERIOD
That always gets me too😅
Absolutely! Always! Yeah. I fell out on the "argue with your liver "🤣🤣
The ruling was fair . You can’t be engaged and already married. Simply put they weren’t married so she is not his widow
FACTS, 💯💯👹🤛🤡🤛
They said he didn't even get her a ring. So she is a self appointed fiance..
“Don’t argue with me, argue with your liver.” 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
.. My mother was a product of this.
After my father unexpectedly passed away, my entire life I heard from her how my fathers side of the family stole his items that we his children were suppose to have, and we could sue them, his family is terrible, etc..
I later on learned that my Mother was suing the hospital to receive more money for his passing, and didn’t want to settle b/c she wanted a big payout. But my father had another child out of wedlock, and this child’s mother wanted to settle, my mother was angry, etc..
All that being said, and now that I’m an adult I get that she was just hurt by his passing, and being stuck w/us, his children. I also understand my late father’s side of the family didn’t even allow for us to have his things (I don’t even have a picture of my father), but my Mother should’ve known better.
She knew his family wasn’t great, and you should’ve been married before you had children. And it’s not my fault that you didn’t get the benefits of his passing, just for being only a fiancée 🤷🏽♀️.
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Hold up, this man had his own TEAM of children, but didn't have insurance or a will? How irresponsible.😕
The best part of being married is that I have the final say, on EVERYTHING. I'm on the Last Will & Testament, the Living Will and Advance Directives, the Power of Attorney, the life insurance. "It's just paper" my @ss!
I left a relationship because of the refusal to legally marry me, even though he provided a good sized life insurance policy...but was he even making the payments? Who knows...naw, not worth it.
"Single as a dolla bill"💥💥💥
💯💯
I find it bold and audacious of her to try to fight to be recognized as his wife posthumously. This is in poor taste and looks very tacky. He didn't do it alive, don't you do it over his dead body that is HORRIBLE! Ok, he proposed its nothing to get married today people have quick weddings day in day out if you really want to lock it down you don't necessarily need the pomp and circumstace! Ladies, smarten up!!!
15 children 👶🏼? 😩😩😩 why no Will ? Even if not married to her ... minimum , why not life insurance ? What the heck. This is ghetto
One of the saddest cases I've witnessed, more than once! A woman is with a man for decades.He dies, she thinks she has access to his SSI, pensions, and estate. Only to find out that he has a wife that he never divorced and she gets everything!
Now, she's too old to start over and can only hope that his kids will let he stay at the 🏠
Even if he wasn’t married, she still wouldn’t get anything .😬
Too true. A potential client came into the office grieving the loss of their live-in-spouse and wanted to know their legal rights. This person has been living with their live-in-spouse for nearly 30 years. It’s unfortunate but I had to tell the potential client that they are not entitled to anything, including the beautiful house they once lived in. No will was set in place prior to the spouse’s death granting anything to the now grieving live-in-spouse. Further, the now dead spouse left behind children from a prior actual marriage. Majority of states do not recognize common law marriages.
When I hear young girls in their 20's excited about moving in with a boyfriend...in hopes that he will see how amazing of a girl they are and eventually lead to marriage only to realize that he'll rarely put a ring on that finger and end up marrying the girl that refused to move in with him.
Chloe this happened to me, I live in NYC I was with a man for 18 years and he passed and his mom came and kicked me to the curb and took over. Smh
Chloe thank you for bringing up this issue. This is a cancer in our society. Young women have devalued themselves to accept so little from men and be content with it.
I cosign to what Chloe_ saying. However, it is important to make sure you married a good financial stable provider husband. If you are married and this man has debts, liens, lawsuits, unpaid back dated child support you are responsible for all his misfortunates if he comes up dead. When marrying we have to choose the best mate for the job.
Even women dealing with merry men for years saying they separated. Sweetie you are entitled to nothing. Thanks for this paper always rule ladies.
I had this conversation with a guy who was legally separated from his wife I told him I'm not getting involved with you at all because at the end of the day you are still legally married even if you don't live together anymore. I told him that piece of paper holds alot of weight. Trust me my mom has all my dads benefits social security and his pension because she was his wife till the end l. Even though my dad married my youngest brother's mother first
They divorced she got nothing. He later on married my mother had tons of affairs. But guess what ....my mom is the one reaping all the benefits and living lovely. I left my friend alone because I knew my worth.....I be dammed . Now my daughter's father is married but he ain't got nothing but a disability check that will cut off once he passes. Cause he ain't got no job🤣🤣🤣🤣 he works under the table. So his first wife and his current wife are gonna fight over what little he has. Whilst my daughter is set to inherit half a million from my mom and if I get married I will make sure that we and his kids are secure. 😁
.
If a man does not think you are worthy enough to be his wife, get to stepping and fast, one year quickly turns into three years!!!
Say it louder for the “marriage is just a piece of paper” chicks in the back 🗣🗣🗣
💯🤡🤛👹🤛
He has fifteen children???? How is that even okay, fifteen children without a father!
Sad, it should be split evenly between the kids
This is why, I let my lawyer husband show me everything to do with our finances and insurances ,
where what is and what investment is where.
All the paperwork is done and signed
I know my rights and I ask questions and still learning more ,because i ain’t fighting nobody’s family God forbid anything happens.
@Calm Koi
That no one is coming after me and my kids girl not even these kids are coming after me ok 🤣🤣,
Everything.
Because my parents marriage was dysfunctional I thought married was suppose to be hard and complicated. So that's what my last marriage was. I will NOT fall for that mindset again. I now know that I am better then that
Preach!!!👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Marriage is for the women’s PROTECTION
Don’t be fooled by the talk . And don’t permanently tie yourself with kids to a man who won’t sign on the dotted line
No marriage, will, or life insurance policy? What was he thinking
Per Google:
What benefits does a common law wife have?
Common law marriage - the reality
In reality, moving in together does not give you automatic rights to each other's property, no matter how long you live together. And if your partner dies, cohabiting does not entitle you to inherit - with potentially disastrous consequences for a surviving 'common law' spouse.
Goodness no life insurance, no will and 15 kids and a drug problem. All respect to his passing.
This is what happens when you don’t have your affairs in order.
Such a sad situation but true cautionary tale. Please please PLEASE love yourself enough to sit down, learn yourself and what you want. Desperation, loneliness and surface level preferences will have you out here looking a whole hot mess AND scratching your head trying to figure out how you got there.
These are truths that most women fail to hear and don't want to hear. Some of the best pieces of advice my late parents gave me were to never live with a man before marriage and to never have children without being married. I've seen the consequences that family, friends, and acquaintances had to deal with as a result of not being a legal wife. Whatever kids that came out of those relationships have a better chance at inheriting something, but that's not guaranteed either since the parents were not married. All women, regardless of race, creed, or color, need to stop entering into these situations and pretending that marriage is not important.
Where there’s a Will, there’s a relative! 😄
1-800-Dead-End-Street 💔
Be loyal to yourself and your children ☝
💯💯💯🤞
When you signed the legal documents, then it becomes official!
I stand by the children getting the money that’s his blood and a man should provide for his children. Not a fiancé until she becomes a wife.
Such a touchy subject. I think the "legal" wife should inherit his money. If no legal wife in the picture give it to the children.
I just don't get why anyone would have a child for someone who is not their spouse first...And no, abortion is not an answer either...smh
A "special friend" status in the obituary means nothing! Ijs
I have seen this picture play out over and over again in recent years. If you are not MARRIED, LEGALLY MARRIED whatever he told you, its not true.
I know of 3 women all over the age of 50 who have lost their SO over the last 2 years that found this out the hard way. One woman was kicked out her deceased boyfriend's house by his children the day after the funeral. Another had zero access to the life insurance policy that his ex wife cashed in, the final one found her stuff boxed up and sitting in the driveway while she was away visiting her family after her boyfriend passed away. She had to hire a uhaul and they threatened to take her vehicle which is in his name.
Eventually, the car was taken. He ALWAYS made the payments. she had no idea how much the payments were.
A 55 year old woman had to move in with her parents because she had nowhere else to go.
Don't wait until its too late.
“Don’t argue with me, argue with your liver” 🤣🤣CHLOEEEEE