I had a good edit session with this one. Felt like dusting off. The start address depression, but the video is overall about making moves to beat that. It’s a positive video, and I hope y’all can take positivity away from it instead of seeing it as a drag haha. Thank y’all for watching, and coffee & tequila OFFICIALLY launches Monday on the bonus channel. Delayed because we had to wait for movers to bring the rest of our stuff
I lost a cat during Covid. She was 12 but we wanted her to live to be an old cat. Not over it. The more special the connection the bigger insult it is.
Loved seeing the update! I’m rooting for you Zach. I hope you both settle in and enjoy the new surroundings. It’s on my list to figure out where the bonus channel is and subscribe and interact over there.
Zack, the fact that your thinking about real friends, is a part of growing up. You all seem pretty guarded and I'm sure you have to be. I only have a couple real friends, and they are the ones that tell me what they think and when I mess up. But I can also count on them at anytime to be there when I need them. YES, you do have to put some effort into it, but if they are real friends you don't have to hold their hands all the time and you can not talk for weeks or maybe a month... and then you spend 2-3 hours on the phone. You will know your real friends by the way they put in the effort also, and to be honest, it wont feel like effort to keep in touch if they really are your friends. At least that is how it has been for me... and don't concern yourself with it too much, you both seem like great guys! I'd like to think I know fake even when I see it on youtube, and I don't think you are. I think some people are put in our path at different times to help us and to get us through certain things and then they move out again, but then there are others... that I would do just about anything for, and I know they would do the same for me. Not sure if this means anything to you, but then again sometimes it is good to hear what you already know, God Bless. Thanks for the Videos!
Zach, 6 years ago last month we lost our son just 2 months before his 21st birthday. All the words, and all the emotions you express in this video mirror the emotional process my husband and I had to go through and still do. The metaphor that has been the most helpful for me has been a storm with waves that land on your favorite beach. When the storm first hits, the waves are big and hard to take. As time goes on, they settle down. The waves never go away, but they become part of your everyday experience in a way that you can live with it. Eventually, you can even learn to be thankful for the waves, because they remind you of the beautiful times you had on the beach before the storm.
I lost my partner Ian, who died suddenly of a massive heart attack on February 10. He was the love of my life and someone I'd waited all my life to meet. The sense of loss and sadness is acute and is going to take some time to get over. Good to see Alistair & Zach doing well in spite of the hard times. I wish you well, the both of you, and can only envy what you both have for each other. Bless you, Alistair & Zach.
Greetings from Chiapas, México. I totally understand you lost. I'm lost the love of my life 8 months ago and I go from feeling a bit normal and out if the blue I'm just a wreck. Bless you and I hope you find contentment soon
Ian made me happy in a way that no one else ever has, I can only hope I made him too. The funeral was a week last Thursday and went as well as could be expected. Very emotional and very sad. Thank you, Michael, for your message.
I sincerely hope that you are doing better, I can only imagine how hard it could be to lose the love of your life like that. You two will be United one day.
You’ve built a brand. You have a following who cares about your product. The filmmaking has gotten better and better. Your work is really substantial. You should be so proud of yourself.
Yup, I keep telling you. 🥰 You have a unique and beautiful artistry with both camera and voice, no matter the subject. I wish you all the success you earn, and I know I’ll see it. 😸✌️
Going through rough times is never easy, and when it includes losing a member of your family, which Winnie absolutely was, it’s at least doubly hard. I’m glad to know that you are working on returning to a better place for yourself, and of course I’m glad Alastair is there to help. Much love to you both!
I am older than you guys, so pretty much, I have been through my version of what you are going through. One thing I really love is how you guys face things as humans first, not gays first. Matt and Blue and Joseph Garner are examples too. But I really love the goodness in your hearts for each other. So wonderful to see. Others will come and go, not lessening their importance, but you two are the "best friends" to and for each other.
My husband and I are at the same point with friends, overall... friends we thought would always be in our lives (but aren't right now). It's easy to blame Covid, and I know that's a factor. However, we've been talking about how important it is to make an effort, no matter what it takes. Receiving that back from them is crucial, as you both said. Healthy boundaries are also super important. You both are so genuine, relatable, and make a difference in so many peoples' lives. I hope you nevev forget that. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU 💙💚
Never apologize for mourning Winnie. She was a character and a big part of your family and she’ll always be in your hearts. It’s good to see you both out and about with your friends and that you’re getting back to somewhat of a routine. Best wishes to you both always and good luck with your move.🥰🥰
Oh man, I’m so sorry for your loss. I had to put my dog down a year ago, yesterday. He had an aggressive osteosarcoma. Seeing Jack get sick and then having to make the call on ending his life was the lost awful experience I’ve been through in my life, so far. A year later and I still have good days and bad days, and I miss him just as much as I did the day he left. We’ll get through it, it just takes time. I try to acknowledge how lucky I am to have shared that love and bond with my dog. He was my son. We did everything together. He was always with me. I feel a part of me died that day. Thank you so much for letting us into your lives. I truly enjoy your videos. I’ve always felt like you guys would be my friends, if we lived in the same town. Genuine, down to earth folks are my people. Take care, you two. And a big hug from me.
Zach - Your videos have always impressed me. You and Alistair are truly great storytellers. One feels what you say on a very deep and personal level. That is a great gift and a blessing. I always look forward to the videos you post because they are special in their own unique way. Each one is like a personal visit with old friends. I apologize if this comes across as a bit sappy and over the top. But in a way watching your efforts posted here reminds me of a comment from the play, The History Boys, where Harold, one of the professors, is speaking of poetry: "The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours." In your own unique way, the two of you reach out that hand and share something special and particular and yet not completely because it is relatable to something each of us also thinks, feels, or looks at something. Never apologize or regret being yourself or expressing yourself as you do. Each of us will experience great happiness and great sadness in our lives. It is what we create out of those experiences which makes us who we are. It is truly the only genuine thing we have and the thing which has the greatest value. I was also amused that you used the music from a popular Jewish folk song in the opening here. Hine ma tov umanaim [ הִנֵּה מַה טוֹב וּמַה נָּעִים] - how good and pleasing is it for brothers and sisters to be together in unity. It is often used at synagogues as an opening song for the start of Sabbath services. It is based on the opening verse of Psalm 133. The song expresses the joy found in the act of being together is special and deserves recognition. The value of being part of a community where everyone is invited to and can participate. I do not know why you chose that tune or even if you were aware of what it actually comes from. But it is a celebration of togetherness in whatever situation you find yourself in. Once, way back in 1979, I had returned to the US from overseas where Uncle Sam and I had been boating together. It was Christmas and I was in San Francisco where I knew no one and had never been. Everything was closed except the Chinese restaurants and the movie theaters. I ate some chow fun and went to see Apocalypse Now. In the theater, the handful of us present were waiting for the movie to start. Suddenly from behind me and up in the balcony came the words of Hine Ma Tov Umanaim. Everyone started to laugh and then a solid majority of us started singing along. For me and for the others around I think it was us reaching out to each other and letting us know we were still here and it was good. [Now you know what Jews do on Christmas Day - eat Chinese food and go to the movies.] Thanks for sharing a portion of your lives with us. It is truly a good thing.
Sir, that was a beautiful post. Thank you - coming from a fellow Jew and former San Franciscan :-). By chance was this movie theater and Chinese restaurant in the Outer Richmond? Just wondering :-)
@@tikettleno. It was the old Royal Theater on Polk Street just off of California. I ate at the Tai Chi which was also on Polk up the other side of Pacific and then walked down to the movies. Though I am sure the Chinese restaurants and movie theaters out in the Richmond and the Sunset were busy that day. Thank you for your kind words.
Wow, this "friends" conversation is so interesting. I'm going through my mid-life crisis. I'm going through a process with my friendships. So, I can totally can relate. As Alister said, "friends are for a reason, (for moment or an occasion), for a season, or for a lifetime.". I also agree that friends can be come and go, in and out of our lives. Kudos to the people that are good friends!
I thought it was a good conversation on friends too. Zach mentioned not wanting to be lonely, I’m working through some issues around that and how to unisolate myself and start to have friends. I’m tired of being by myself.
Haven't seen an AZB episode for a couple years and realize how much I miss them now. I could relate to this episode, I have lost my two cats, my beloved dog back in July 2020 to cancer, and my remaining dog has had 3 major surgeries in the past year, and lost a back leg to bone cancer last year and is going downhill now. My pets are my world and it is tough to deal with. And then we have all this other shit for the past two years to deal with, pandemic and politics, and now a stupid war. It's hard to find the good in all the bad that is around at the moment. I have been in this deep funk for a couple years, but I get hope from the fact you were able to shake it off and put your pieces back together. Thank you for this, I really appreciate your candor and putting yourself out there.
Your both so cute and beautiful. I’ve been suffering from depression since my partner got hit by a car right in front of me in August 2021. He is fine now but I’m still struggling with the vision of him being hit right in front of me. Your videos honestly are big help to me they always have been so thank you for sharing your feelings, your life and being so open/ honest. I’m beyond sorry for the loss of Winnie she always looked so loved and happy with you guys, you take all the time you need to move on there is no rush. I love your videos so much and I will be so sad when you go on your break, you deserve a good break and some fun. Thank you Zach has always for being just so incredible and inspiring. Long term followed here to support you forever you are always my inspiration keep moving forward xxxx
It took me about 5 years to crawl out of the depression of losing the dog I grew up with. she was my best friend who I went through a lot of rough times with. and in the end I was with her every day… so don’t even apologize for mourning a dog. it took me to a dark place, but sometimes things hit harder and you have to go through the paces.
Zach, I too suffer from major depression. I know EXACTLY the feelings you’re describing being depressed! Depression already gives you lack of energy, motivation, sadness, negative or stinking thinking, and exhaustion to name just a few. And then on top of it all adds the things you’re describing being tired of those feelings and the desire to change those feelings but either the lack of knowledge or willingness of how to change it. And then that gets exhausting as well. And then on top of it all you add in the grief…not a good combination. Last year alone i had lost my dad, my grandmother, and a military friend in a matter of months of each other, and suffered the ramifications of those loses as well as being alone away from my siblings and their children for the holidays, and of course suffering the effects that Covid has had on our population having to isolate just made last year an all in all sad year for me. I’m a USMC veteran and I can tell you that it’s with the VAMC that I was able to build coping mechanisms for my depression. With Alistair being in the Army, and your marriage, I would, if you’re willing as well, see what resources the Army has available to you guys for grief and depression. It’s most certainly not a solution but is a good place to start. This was a great video! Wish you both lots of luck and well wishes!
Your honesty and self-awareness are strengths. They’re such admirable qualities. It’s inspiring to see you fighting and picking yourself up! Good for you. You and Alastair complete each other so much. Thank you for sharing. I trust you’ll be working on yourself, your family, and your friendships during the hiatus. UA-cam (and other social media) doesn’t define you. Come back when you need the creative outlet. Best wishes.
I lost my dog, that I had for 17 years, about a month ago after watching her decline over the last 8 or 9 months. I still cannot get over it and I think I will always miss her. People's grief is their own and it will take as long as it takes to adjust to life without Winnie. A lost loved one, even a pet, can leave a gaping whole in your heart that is very hard to fill.
Grieving can be a long process. I'm 65 and gay. I've grieved many lost loved ones and pets. Accept it as part of life. Go through it. You'll come out ok and you'll be left with memories and when you're old you'll hold those memories close and cherish them cause that's what you'll see your life was all about.
I have followed you guys for about 5 years now - and I get we only see a snippet of your life - but I also get the sense that I know you & both since you are genuine & yourselves - on or off camera. I’m sorry for your loss - dog, human, makes 0 difference. Winnie was 1 in a billion just like our Lassie or Sunny. Take time you need 2 get settled. We will be here when you are back just enjoy one another for now. #BlnikOfAnEye🧿
I'm 50 years old, live alone, and have moved around a lot as an adult. I think the longest I've lived anywhere at one stretch since I was 17 is 4 years. I'm also a Buddhist monk so no romantic relationships for me. I also work as a hospice chaplain so I work alone out of my car. I did make a couple of friends in Philly but they have since moved away. I currently live at a Vietnamese temple and lived at one in CA for several years and the congregation isn't a social network for a monk in my experience. It's a very rewarding life in some ways, but it's also a very lonely life, and as I talk to other people about this issue I find they are experiencing the same thing; as you get older, it's harder to make new friends. If I had known I was going to end up this isolated when I was younger, though I would still have become a monk, I probably would have made different choices in various areas of my life. Keep those friendships that are important to you and make the effort to maintain them.
Animals are family, sometimes they are better than people. I grieved more for my dog than I did my nan, they are pure souls we don't get that in people. Never apologise for loving family and grieving Winnies loss. ❤💔
I do understand. I had to turn this off to finish later because crying isn't how I want to start the day. Hugs to you all. And, not to bring it to me even more, but another dog now was the last thing I wanted after losing our centers, Brody and cat queen Scoshi, but a dog who very much needed us literally walked into our lives. I'm still eyeballing the closet, but when I am with the pets, all I feel is love and peace. I will say more probably after I finish watching this, but that is my hope and prayer for you both...love and peace.
Great video Zach! Very happy you are making your way forward after the heartbreaking loss of Winnie. 😢💔💖💖💖 Glad you had fun in Chicago! I often wonder about my friendships. I don't really have anyone close right now, partially because of where I live and partially because I am so focusing on me right now, I don't really have time to try to build friendships. The last two trips I took to NYC and being able to spend time with people, however, have made me realize just how much I've missed hanging out and having others to talk to. When I got back, I realized just how empty my life feels at the moment not having someone I can just drop by and watch a movie or drink or play video games with. Hoping when I find a new job and move away from where I am (preferably to a big city), I will be able to start branching out and making friends. Have fun on your hiatus and I hope the move is going well!! 💖💖💖
Losing a family member is so hard! I am so sorry for the loss of Winnie…Zach and Alastair! My cat, Hanson, was 18 years old when I lost him. I still miss him. With everything that has gone on over the past 2 years…it’s okay to let yourself feel. Part of grieving is that you feel apart from yourself. Ones psyche needs to have a separation…it’s healthy! It gives one the chance to feel deeply…but also to carry on. Grief is a very good thing guys…it reminds you of what you have lost…shows you what you have…and what you have to continue on for…Brando and Alastair! And all of your friends! You are a very fortunate two men! You have each other…that is your greatest strength.
I have been dealing with depression all of my life. I am 51 now. There was one time when I was taking every pill there was under the sun and it didn’t do anything for me. Finally I decided that depression is a part of me and that I’m just going to have to deal with it. I gave up the pills a long time ago. There are times when it really does nip at my heels but as you would say I just move through it. Losing an animal that you think of as a child is never easy. I have lost two and each experience was different but still heartbreaking. I wish you and your husband well.
I recently found you guys. I’ve been binge watching your vids. I just love them. I also suffer from depression. I can relate to you Zach. Sorry about Winnie. Hopefully you feel better soon.
Anyone who is tired of hearing about your loss has not loved their fur baby enough. I lost my baby and I will always feel that loss. Grieve however it works for you both. Huge hugs even two years later. I can understand as I’m sure many others do.
Let me give you my sincere sympathy for the loss of your precious dog, Winnie. She was a real treat to see with her wagging tail and happy jumping onto you both. Having been the owner of three dogs that I had to let go was a real traumatic experience. You both gave her a good life! Please rest assured in that as you process your grief. Precious memories.
Guys, I'm not a dog person but a cat guy. Anyhow, I know about the hole left in your heart when we loose our fur babies. Chin up and carry on. Things get so much better when you adopt a or more fur babies. All that love you have stored up from Winnie can be redirected. It's a mindset.
Well what to say: firstly life is full of ups and downs and losses, we need to find the inner strength to move on: secondly turning 68 this year and the only sad part of my life is the speed it moves: don’t wait guys love yourself, love your amazing husband (both of u lucked out you married your best friend). Love your friends I have been in 15/bridal parties for straight guys still in touch with almost all of them, friends so enlarge and enrich life. But it requires commitment and inclusion. Lastly your loved and respected by people like me who follow u , use that knowledge to ground yourself, and your self respect. Being well requires self love and respect you both have it let it envelope you and you both will continue to shine through your future years. Wishing you both the best now as always. ❤️
Hey guys, great video. Sometimes you just have to let things go, grief, negative thoughts and toxic friendships / relationships etc…. That you can neither control or spend your valuable time and energy on. Great friendships are easy, they’re not work or drama. They’re the best times you’ll ever have and make for the greatest of memories. Especially with people who bring joy to your lives and have your 100% trust. They’re life long friends. Thanks as always for sharing your lives.
Hey boys...nice to see you're still living life and having fun. A fact of life however unpleasant is that as you get older your circle of friends usually narrows. It's just the way it is. People will tend to drift in and out of your life.... this is the way of life. Zach...I see you still struggle with depression. Life is full of ups and downs which sounds trite but it's all too true. Try to remember that while you journey through your life you have your man beside you to help you through them. Many out there don't have the same boast so try to remember that. Final thought...it's VERY good to be young so embrace that and live life to the fullest. Take care boys....
Thank you for this video. I've missed not seeing you more often. Thanks for your openness about your struggles. You and Allister are loved by so many of you followers.
Loss is hard especially when it’s a pet but you will always have great memories with that pet. You will make it through it with the memories. always keep the memories.😔
Life is never easy... Thank You for showing that. I have not written about a video in a long time... and I know you hear from so many that I wasn't missed. I don't always see your videos right away. But you always make me think, you guys make me feel. Right now, we are trying to get through our 4th move in 12 years, and this time I'm not really excited about it. This video and a couple that showed right after it of you both talking about depression in the car... was so good for me. You all may not be set in my path , but you still touch my heart.
One year after we lost out Golden Retriever I swept up some of her hair from under the bed and I dropped to my knees and cried. Our pets are a huge part our family. It will get better Zac and you will have lots of happy memories.❤️❤️
Zack getting up and moving is very important; as while shutting down to process our loss is normal and actually good, because a major loss impacts our immune system. The difficulty for some folks is; they shut down and rather than getting back into their routines, they stay shut down which long term can make depression feom loss become chronic depression. It takes time and effort to process our losses, to get back to living life, and to make progress towards life goals. Getting back into working out is a good start, as is making videos, or whatevwr is part of your regular routine. In the last 20 years I lost my sister, father, brother, and in 2019 my mother. I had planed on growing old with my siblings; but now face a future with no immediate family, but thankfully have my sister's two adult children and their father's family in the area. I have extended family 3 hours from here along with extended family near Shasta California, and in Florida. Having support wither it's family or friends; is so important to our well being, as the social interaction, mutual support, etc, is good for our mental and physical health. What you guys are saying about friendships is also true of maintaining family relationships healthy.
You've had a helluva great run on u-tube Zach. Best wishes to both you and Alastair in the future no matter where it leafs you. Thanks for the memories!!
Our hearts ache for both you. We lost our baby girl Gracie this summer, and she too was sick for a long time before passing. Not a day goes by that I don't look for her or miss her. The price of that unconditional love is they take such a big piece of your heart when they go. Unless you've had a dog you can't understand the sense of loss and grief when they pass. Just know that because she loved you so much; she wouldn't want you to be sad. If nothing else, dogs are selfless. They see the best in us. Praying you find peace.
It WILL get easier. We know just how you feel. We lost our little dogs 12 years ago and I still cry about it. We never got another dog. I don't think I could handle the heartache again. Wishing you the best.
I have found that putting all my love into another animal is the only way to save it. It’s like putting money in the bank. They keep it safe for you and return it with interest. 😸✌️
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. All four-legged parents know the pain and depression that sets in after the loss. It's been a while so I hope when you think of Winni, it is not the sadness you remember but you remember the joy and you smile.
Great seeing you guys again and laughing and having fun! Enjoy each and every day and try not to stress yourself out thinking too much about the future and you are truly blessed having each other. My husband is my best friend and brings me joy and I see that in both of you. Looking forward to more videos from you guys soon!
I've been watching you guys for a few years now and its really awesome to see you guys grow up -- I really mean that in the best way. having these videos when you get to middle age will be so much fun.
That was sweet. I love to see you guys. I know everyone has rough times and we have to take some time and then heal from our losses. It was great to see Zach get back in the game of life and persevere. The trip to Chicago looked like a lot of fun. Glad you guys were able to see some friends and kick up your heels. Love to Alastair and Zach! XOXOXOXO
I have had a long time dog rescue. Im old now and down to the last four of many many all beloved fur babies. They made my life worth living. I will be gone soon and I have to say my life was much richer due to my loyal canine friends.
Zac, I mourned for about six months when my Princess passed away of old age (in my arms). I would wonder how I would go through life without her. It's now 8 years since, I made it through yet I still miss my Princess.
Zach, I wanna say I love one of your videos at your house in Texas after you went to Chicago, Illinois with him, so I'm proud of you and I know you had an Southern accent, thanks to your husband, Alastair!!
Friendships are life’s jewels. They take time and occasionally money. You have to take care of them. They don’t flourish on their own. You sometimes have to give more than you get. If the person is worth it it isn’t a problem. I have lost most of my best friends due to various ailments. It isn’t fun to live without them.
A very interesting musical start to the video - love that song, an old Jewish hymn…starts with “how good it feels, sitting together with Brothers”. Looking forward to Coffee & Tequila!
I have followed you guys for years. First time writing. You are me many years ago. From your size, voice, looks, everything. It's like I'm reliving my college years. But being as I'm 35+ yrs older than you, I didn't have the opportunities you have and my life went a different way. I wanted kids and at that time in a country town there was only one way. Single now but was married to a fantastic woman who gave me 4 fantastic and gorgeous kids who now have kids of their own. No regrets, but I live vicariously thru you. This video scared me because I thought you were picking up pieces because of a break up. Pshew. Take care guys. At this point in my life I need to see you happy.
And I meant to add that I recently felt your heartbreak. After my 32 yr marriage ended it was just my basset hound and me. He never left my side because if he didn't know where I was he'd hyperventilate and pass out, only to regain consciousness and repeat it. So he went to work with me daily. I had to euthanize him when he was 14 because he had something pop in his brain and what made matters worse was he no longer knew me. Of all things he forgot who I was. He was afraid and I had promised him I would never let him suffer. He didn't, but I still am because I haven't forgotten him.
It was nice to see u travel to one of my favorite cities, Chicago & I have been to the Bean , once when Yo Yo MA, the famous Cellist was giving a free concert. The Chicago Style Pizza is the best. Hope you are happy in El Paso, a lot more to do than Oklahoma, plus beautiful mountains. You are so right about lifelong friendships, I have a lot of close friends for over 40 years now, that are like family. I am so lucky to have them. You are lucky to have Alastair, who would give up his books 4 u, that was touching. I will leave u with this, when u get depressed, don't fight it at first, u spend so much energy fighting it , u get more depressed, so take a few days a week or more maybe, embrace it, let those feelings out, wallow in self pity, let it all out, cry. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself & exercise, eat right, get the fresh air & sun. It works 4 me.
Alastair & Zach - Friendships are hard to groom as one gets older. Besides my partner, I might have one other person in my life that I can count on to be there for me. All the other people in my life I consider acquaintances, unfortunately. When you always have to initiate the conversation whether via txt or phone call, it usually a sign to not cultivate the friendship/relationship going forward. I am a total introvert which makes it very difficult to make friends. Once I know a person and trust them, it is easier for me to open up. I commend the two of you for putting the pieces back together after the loss of a family member, four-legged variety. It is very difficult to get past the loss and build yourself up to get back to the person you are. We said our final fare-well to our 16yr yorkie Labor Day weekend of 2019. We adopted a beautiful Havanese soul in Jan 2020 then lost our 11yr old Sheltie due to an undetected cancer 6 months after we adopted FeFe (the Havanese). We would have been totally lost if we have not adopted her and arrived home to an empty house once we said our good-byes to our Sheltie, Blydon. This past year we added a mischievous silver-haired yorkie (Diego), a boisterous dachshund (Sophie) to our family. Now we are a family of 5!
Bless you and Alastair i feel your pain i know the feeling all to well always remember the memories , unconditional love hold tight to them ..... love ya'll ❤❤😘😘
“Can’t let depression take over”! 🤗 Thanks (again) for sharing. You have a great way of sharing your struggles and showing what works for you to combat them. Glad to have you touching my life. Heading home in a few weeks. Will get to spend time with a couple I’ve been friends with for 20 years now, and hopefully will meet up with some new friends I made over the internet in the last two years. Much love to Bronson, Alastair, and you 🤗 P.S. don’t say “we’re awake” when Alastair is clearly still sleeping 😆
Loss of a family member whether human or non human companion, is never easy and possibly the worst part is living through it. Very glad to see you both working towards a better you. Be well men, and be happy. I also agree with faking it until you make it!!
This was great. Loved the melancholic soundtrack and the deep conversation at the end. You are right. Friendships are like plants that are worth cultivating. You never know how long you will have them when you get older. I'm a 59 year old gay follower. The majority of the friends I had at 25 were dead by the time I was 35. Savour every moment of your young life and your young friends.
I really like you guys- wish you both all the best. Oh and the pain is real ! Losing our pets ( children ) is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Keep moving foreword.. hope to see you more again. Depression can take over your life. Glad you are giving it hell ! 💕-Sherry
Again like always such a lovely surprise to see an upload from you lads, grief is such a devastating thing to live with both in heart and mind. You just go through everyday as best as you can, cope in your own way, and never forget to talk about them as much as you want with out feeling guilty. I am so going to miss your vlogs but look forward to more coffee and tequilas/ my bloody judy’s 💜
Loved our trip to Chicago! Was so much fun getting to spend time with you guys again. And I loved getting to meet Arden too, she’s awesome. As for the friendship - I’m in this for the long run buddy. We’ll still be mates when we get so worn and wrinkly that we look like David Brinkley haha looking forward to hanging out again soon!
Great to see you posting ... we thought we might have already lost you for good. Remember that you don't have to entertain your true fans, you don't always have to be happy for us, you're allowed to be sad and depressed too ... we're just happy to hear from you. Completely understand your depression ... I lost a cat who'd been with me for 16 years and I was depressed for 18 months ... a death can do that to you. So take your time. Lots of love to you both.
Sharing is positive. Truth is positive. Taking steps ... even if it is one step a day ... is positive. It always benefits us as your followers to know who you are and what you are going through. I know depression ... well. And your comments about exhaustion are spot on ... not unlike the exhaustion of living in the closet. The race is only with yourselves ... one thing at a time, one day a time. You gents are loved.
I hate when friendships grow apart. It happened to me and I kept feeling like the friends I was trying to make sure we kept in touch were not putting the same effort. At the same time I knew they were going their separate ways from mine. I had to accept that. It hurts a lot more when you think a person is going to be in your entire life but they end up being their for what it feels like just a moment. It sucks but it's
Do you have regular visits to your doctor? Could you have medical depression that you might need help with? It is an incredibly difficult time for all of us on planet earth, so any help we can get we need to take. Always remember to have some gratitude for all that you have in your life. A heart full of gratitude will elevate you out of depression. I continue to wish you both lots of good stuff in your life. Many blessings.
The hardest thing I ever had to do was put down my beloved beagle. I was beyond heartbroken for months. I’d look at pictures and cry for hours until I came to realize how much joy and fun we had. That was something that I could hang on to and his loss didn’t hurt so bad. I still miss him, but I can remember and smile. I love you two boys, but I love your Union even more. Cherish each other.
Good day to you, Zach and Alastair. It was an amazing video, so much frankness, and the topic of friendship was raised. Finding friendship and preserving it is a whole art. I was very lucky in life, I met a couple of friends in the distant past, and have been together for 25 years. Despite the distance, the cities between us, we keep in touch. I deeply sympathize with you about Vinnie. She will live in your hearts, in the hearts of people who remembered her and her memory will be in your videos.
I feel the same way man when my boys passed. Marvin passed in 2019 and it was Jack and I and we grew a strong connection and he was my buddy we went everywhere together and followed me though the house. Then he developed cancer and He passed in September 2021, 2 years after Marvin...........I lost everything after he died and it was everything i could do to get up and go to work. Then i adopted another doggo that did not work and had to take him back and it was like i lost another pup and that his me hard that was just this week that i had to do that. In the process i lost my job and spiraled way out of control. I know your pain I'm here for you and I'm working through it at the same time. I am here for ya ill pay for you and Allister and hope you will do the same for me. Hope that the move and transition is going well.
This was a great video. Friendships are relationships and some come and go and some return, some never do. I have friends from 50-60 years ago and we know we could call one another for anything and we see each other when I go home on vacations and we talk all the time. I had some great friendships in college that lasted a few years after leaving college and we all went out own ways. Three very good friendships from college have rekindled in the past year and it's like we never parted, yet it had been 35-40 years. Real friends are the family we chose. Great video.
I've been watching you guys sporadically for years and always admire you a lot, plus you are both not hard to look at LOL. I'm going through a deep depression and anxiety. For a while now, for a couple of years dealing with health issues and my partners health issues. Also, our little sweetheart Kitty that we've had for 16 years since he was a kitten has cancer. He's my baby, like your little sweetheart, he always has to be with me constantly and falls asleep on my chest or face. Since he was diagnosed a month ago I have been even more of a wreck and I'm trying to be grateful for every day that he's here but I know it's temporary. He's still eating and pooping and seems okay but that's just a matter of time. Anyway, I'm heartbroken for you guys because I know what it feels like, plus I've been through it before. I just went on antidepressants a week ago and I hate them and am stopping because they're making me feel worse. I just have to do as you say, try to get up and get moving. Not always easy, especially when I'm twice your age, but I'll try. Best of luck to both of you.
From experience. Please consider staying the course with your antidepressant. It can take up to two months for the medication to even out in your system. If that particular medication doesn’t work, there are many others to try. Don’t give up; you’ll get there! 😸✌️
So sorry to hear about Winnie, very sad. Glad you are getting over your depression. Take care and continue to love each other. Love you both. Steve, London, UK xxxxx
Zach, you have one of the GREATEST LAUGHS EVER. Just hearing your laugh makes my soul happy. Also that deep voice is made for radio or reading to someone. I can picture you doing books on tape and listening to your voice and be at peace. Good tidings to you and Alistair always, truly have enjoyed your story. As an older gay man, I never had in my life something like you are to each other and that is OK. I am just so happy for you. Roll Tide from a life long UNC fan.
Sorry my post was so maudlin, never lose sight of the fact you and Alistair "chose" each other in very short order. You are magnificent together, so anytime you feel you are sliding down to those unpleasant depths, let him know at the onset. He will always be there to love, support, be your lifeline. You are both very fortunate. Think of it this way, you are both each other's Winnie!
I'm back in the States; been missing both of you. Stop worrying about friends they change but some last 50-plus years; people come and go or just disappear, but they reconnect. Zac, you are truly lucky to have taken the chance to meet Alister. I am looking forward to books and films, at present, I use allies to make purchases. That queen-size Helix is great. Special forces are where I found my zone, for as long as I could hold that cold-heartedness but as time goes along I chose Medical and therapy made me a "cool therapist." That is where I found the two of you. It was the old-school prejudice and that B/S "Don't ask don't tell" list I chose to work with and look at what has happened. It pays off knowing, extremely high ranking "Birds of a feather." I just celebrated my 56th year I active duty. There are a few who ask when I will retire, maybe when I die. The truth is when I finally want to meet the two of you and all the other couples; it is hard to realize just how many couples there are, I never will give up until the trans coupes have the rights as well. While offshore I finally got my last two stars and a whole lot more.
I started watching your videos this week. I find myself envious of you guys. I have hidden who I am my entire life because I grew up in a different time. It’s fair to say I missed my moment. I am married to a woman that I’m not in love with because I can’t come out. Your life is interesting and inspiring to me. I wish you both well. Live your truth because life is short. Be happy
Goodbyes are always hard… sometimes we choose to say goodbye and sometimes we have no choice in the matter and we’re forced to say goodbye. The forced ones are worse cause it wasn’t a choice…. 💙
I apologize I had to play catch up w episodes been working a bunch im glade your both shining bright like the brightest light you both are .Thk you for another good one😁
I had a good edit session with this one. Felt like dusting off. The start address depression, but the video is overall about making moves to beat that. It’s a positive video, and I hope y’all can take positivity away from it instead of seeing it as a drag haha. Thank y’all for watching, and coffee & tequila OFFICIALLY launches Monday on the bonus channel. Delayed because we had to wait for movers to bring the rest of our stuff
I lost a cat during Covid. She was 12 but we wanted her to live to be an old cat. Not over it. The more special the connection the bigger insult it is.
Loved seeing the update! I’m rooting for you Zach. I hope you both settle in and enjoy the new surroundings. It’s on my list to figure out where the bonus channel is and subscribe and interact over there.
" You strike me as the kind of person, who might be into men..."
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers 🙏🏽 You will keep moving, cuz that’s you, sir 👍🏽
Zack, the fact that your thinking about real friends, is a part of growing up. You all seem pretty guarded and I'm sure you have to be. I only have a couple real friends, and they are the ones that tell me what they think and when I mess up. But I can also count on them at anytime to be there when I need them. YES, you do have to put some effort into it, but if they are real friends you don't have to hold their hands all the time and you can not talk for weeks or maybe a month... and then you spend 2-3 hours on the phone. You will know your real friends by the way they put in the effort also, and to be honest, it wont feel like effort to keep in touch if they really are your friends. At least that is how it has been for me... and don't concern yourself with it too much, you both seem like great guys! I'd like to think I know fake even when I see it on youtube, and I don't think you are. I think some people are put in our path at different times to help us and to get us through certain things and then they move out again, but then there are others... that I would do just about anything for, and I know they would do the same for me. Not sure if this means anything to you, but then again sometimes it is good to hear what you already know, God Bless. Thanks for the Videos!
Zach, 6 years ago last month we lost our son just 2 months before his 21st birthday. All the words, and all the emotions you express in this video mirror the emotional process my husband and I had to go through and still do. The metaphor that has been the most helpful for me has been a storm with waves that land on your favorite beach. When the storm first hits, the waves are big and hard to take. As time goes on, they settle down. The waves never go away, but they become part of your everyday experience in a way that you can live with it. Eventually, you can even learn to be thankful for the waves, because they remind you of the beautiful times you had on the beach before the storm.
I lost my partner Ian, who died suddenly of a massive heart attack on February 10. He was the love of my life and someone I'd waited all my life to meet. The sense of loss and sadness is acute and is going to take some time to get over. Good to see Alistair & Zach doing well in spite of the hard times. I wish you well, the both of you, and can only envy what you both have for each other. Bless you, Alistair & Zach.
Greetings from Chiapas, México. I totally understand you lost. I'm lost the love of my life 8 months ago and I go from feeling a bit normal and out if the blue I'm just a wreck. Bless you and I hope you find contentment soon
Sending you a great big hug from afar
Ian made me happy in a way that no one else ever has, I can only hope I made him too. The funeral was a week last Thursday and went as well as could be expected. Very emotional and very sad. Thank you, Michael, for your message.
Thank you, that's so kind of you. I could do with a hug right now.
I sincerely hope that you are doing better, I can only imagine how hard it could be to lose the love of your life like that. You two will be United one day.
You’ve built a brand. You have a following who cares about your product. The filmmaking has gotten better and better. Your work is really substantial. You should be so proud of yourself.
This comment made my night. Many thanks
Yup, I keep telling you. 🥰
You have a unique and beautiful artistry with both camera and voice, no matter the subject.
I wish you all the success you earn, and I know I’ll see it.
😸✌️
Going through rough times is never easy, and when it includes losing a member of your family, which Winnie absolutely was, it’s at least doubly hard. I’m glad to know that you are working on returning to a better place for yourself, and of course I’m glad Alastair is there to help. Much love to you both!
I am older than you guys, so pretty much, I have been through my version of what you are going through. One thing I really love is how you guys face things as humans first, not gays first. Matt and Blue and Joseph Garner are examples too. But I really love the goodness in your hearts for each other. So wonderful to see. Others will come and go, not lessening their importance, but you two are the "best friends" to and for each other.
My husband and I are at the same point with friends, overall... friends we thought would always be in our lives (but aren't right now).
It's easy to blame Covid, and I know that's a factor. However, we've been talking about how important it is to make an effort, no matter what it takes. Receiving that back from them is crucial, as you both said. Healthy boundaries are also super important.
You both are so genuine, relatable, and make a difference in so many peoples' lives.
I hope you nevev forget that. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU 💙💚
Never apologize for mourning Winnie. She was a character and a big part of your family and she’ll always be in your hearts. It’s good to see you both out and about with your friends and that you’re getting back to somewhat of a routine. Best wishes to you both always and good luck with your move.🥰🥰
In life I have found that REAL friends are sometimes more important than family. I do say again REAL friends.
you two just make my day at my 81 years old you two are just what i need
Oh man, I’m so sorry for your loss. I had to put my dog down a year ago, yesterday. He had an aggressive osteosarcoma. Seeing Jack get sick and then having to make the call on ending his life was the lost awful experience I’ve been through in my life, so far. A year later and I still have good days and bad days, and I miss him just as much as I did the day he left. We’ll get through it, it just takes time. I try to acknowledge how lucky I am to have shared that love and bond with my dog. He was my son. We did everything together. He was always with me. I feel a part of me died that day. Thank you so much for letting us into your lives. I truly enjoy your videos. I’ve always felt like you guys would be my friends, if we lived in the same town. Genuine, down to earth folks are my people. Take care, you two. And a big hug from me.
Zach - Your videos have always impressed me. You and Alistair are truly great storytellers. One feels what you say on a very deep and personal level. That is a great gift and a blessing. I always look forward to the videos you post because they are special in their own unique way. Each one is like a personal visit with old friends. I apologize if this comes across as a bit sappy and over the top. But in a way watching your efforts posted here reminds me of a comment from the play, The History Boys, where Harold, one of the professors, is speaking of poetry:
"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. Now here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken yours."
In your own unique way, the two of you reach out that hand and share something special and particular and yet not completely because it is relatable to something each of us also thinks, feels, or looks at something. Never apologize or regret being yourself or expressing yourself as you do. Each of us will experience great happiness and great sadness in our lives. It is what we create out of those experiences which makes us who we are. It is truly the only genuine thing we have and the thing which has the greatest value.
I was also amused that you used the music from a popular Jewish folk song in the opening here. Hine ma tov umanaim [ הִנֵּה מַה טוֹב וּמַה נָּעִים] - how good and pleasing is it for brothers and sisters to be together in unity. It is often used at synagogues as an opening song for the start of Sabbath services. It is based on the opening verse of Psalm 133. The song expresses the joy found in the act of being together is special and deserves recognition. The value of being part of a community where everyone is invited to and can participate. I do not know why you chose that tune or even if you were aware of what it actually comes from. But it is a celebration of togetherness in whatever situation you find yourself in.
Once, way back in 1979, I had returned to the US from overseas where Uncle Sam and I had been boating together. It was Christmas and I was in San Francisco where I knew no one and had never been. Everything was closed except the Chinese restaurants and the movie theaters. I ate some chow fun and went to see Apocalypse Now. In the theater, the handful of us present were waiting for the movie to start. Suddenly from behind me and up in the balcony came the words of Hine Ma Tov Umanaim. Everyone started to laugh and then a solid majority of us started singing along. For me and for the others around I think it was us reaching out to each other and letting us know we were still here and it was good. [Now you know what Jews do on Christmas Day - eat Chinese food and go to the movies.]
Thanks for sharing a portion of your lives with us. It is truly a good thing.
Sir, that was a beautiful post. Thank you - coming from a fellow Jew and former San Franciscan :-). By chance was this movie theater and Chinese restaurant in the Outer Richmond? Just wondering :-)
@@tikettleno. It was the old Royal Theater on Polk Street just off of California. I ate at the Tai Chi which was also on Polk up the other side of Pacific and then walked down to the movies. Though I am sure the Chinese restaurants and movie theaters out in the Richmond and the Sunset were busy that day.
Thank you for your kind words.
Wow, this "friends" conversation is so interesting.
I'm going through my mid-life crisis.
I'm going through a process with my friendships.
So, I can totally can relate.
As Alister said, "friends are for a reason, (for moment or an occasion), for a season, or for a lifetime.".
I also agree that friends can be come and go, in and out of our lives.
Kudos to the people that are good friends!
I thought it was a good conversation on friends too. Zach mentioned not wanting to be lonely, I’m working through some issues around that and how to unisolate myself and start to have friends. I’m tired of being by myself.
Lucio I am sorry about your mid life crisis, I survived it and the death of my partner😭,time to find someone else who can love you🥰
Losing a pet tends to stay with you, never apologize for your grief 💜
Haven't seen an AZB episode for a couple years and realize how much I miss them now. I could relate to this episode, I have lost my two cats, my beloved dog back in July 2020 to cancer, and my remaining dog has had 3 major surgeries in the past year, and lost a back leg to bone cancer last year and is going downhill now. My pets are my world and it is tough to deal with. And then we have all this other shit for the past two years to deal with, pandemic and politics, and now a stupid war. It's hard to find the good in all the bad that is around at the moment. I have been in this deep funk for a couple years, but I get hope from the fact you were able to shake it off and put your pieces back together. Thank you for this, I really appreciate your candor and putting yourself out there.
Your both so cute and beautiful. I’ve been suffering from depression since my partner got hit by a car right in front of me in August 2021. He is fine now but I’m still struggling with the vision of him being hit right in front of me. Your videos honestly are big help to me they always have been so thank you for sharing your feelings, your life and being so open/ honest. I’m beyond sorry for the loss of Winnie she always looked so loved and happy with you guys, you take all the time you need to move on there is no rush. I love your videos so much and I will be so sad when you go on your break, you deserve a good break and some fun. Thank you Zach has always for being just so incredible and inspiring. Long term followed here to support you forever you are always my inspiration keep moving forward xxxx
I suggest you seek treatment for post-traumatic stress syndrome. EMDR does wonders for some folks.
Hope you feel better soon.
😸✌️
It took me about 5 years to crawl out of the depression of losing the dog I grew up with. she was my best friend who I went through a lot of rough times with. and in the end I was with her every day… so don’t even apologize for mourning a dog. it took me to a dark place, but sometimes things hit harder and you have to go through the paces.
Zach, I too suffer from major depression. I know EXACTLY the feelings you’re describing being depressed! Depression already gives you lack of energy, motivation, sadness, negative or stinking thinking, and exhaustion to name just a few. And then on top of it all adds the things you’re describing being tired of those feelings and the desire to change those feelings but either the lack of knowledge or willingness of how to change it. And then that gets exhausting as well. And then on top of it all you add in the grief…not a good combination. Last year alone i had lost my dad, my grandmother, and a military friend in a matter of months of each other, and suffered the ramifications of those loses as well as being alone away from my siblings and their children for the holidays, and of course suffering the effects that Covid has had on our population having to isolate just made last year an all in all sad year for me. I’m a USMC veteran and I can tell you that it’s with the VAMC that I was able to build coping mechanisms for my depression. With Alistair being in the Army, and your marriage, I would, if you’re willing as well, see what resources the Army has available to you guys for grief and depression. It’s most certainly not a solution but is a good place to start. This was a great video! Wish you both lots of luck and well wishes!
Your honesty and self-awareness are strengths. They’re such admirable qualities.
It’s inspiring to see you fighting and picking yourself up! Good for you.
You and Alastair complete each other so much. Thank you for sharing.
I trust you’ll be working on yourself, your family, and your friendships during the hiatus. UA-cam (and other social media) doesn’t define you. Come back when you need the creative outlet. Best wishes.
I lost my dog, that I had for 17 years, about a month ago after watching her decline over the last 8 or 9 months. I still cannot get over it and I think I will always miss her. People's grief is their own and it will take as long as it takes to adjust to life without Winnie. A lost loved one, even a pet, can leave a gaping whole in your heart that is very hard to fill.
These times make a difference in your journey together. Sorry for your loss.
Grieving can be a long process.
I'm 65 and gay.
I've grieved many lost loved ones and pets.
Accept it as part of life.
Go through it.
You'll come out ok and you'll be left with memories and when you're old you'll hold those memories close and cherish them cause that's what you'll see your life was all about.
Awesome words of wisdom.
My respects to you!
I'm in the midst of my mid-life crisis.
I have followed you guys for about 5 years now - and I get we only see a snippet of your life - but I also get the sense that I know you & both since you are genuine & yourselves - on or off camera. I’m sorry for your loss - dog, human, makes 0 difference. Winnie was 1 in a billion just like our Lassie or Sunny.
Take time you need 2 get settled. We will be here when you are back just enjoy one another for now. #BlnikOfAnEye🧿
I'm 50 years old, live alone, and have moved around a lot as an adult. I think the longest I've lived anywhere at one stretch since I was 17 is 4 years. I'm also a Buddhist monk so no romantic relationships for me. I also work as a hospice chaplain so I work alone out of my car. I did make a couple of friends in Philly but they have since moved away. I currently live at a Vietnamese temple and lived at one in CA for several years and the congregation isn't a social network for a monk in my experience. It's a very rewarding life in some ways, but it's also a very lonely life, and as I talk to other people about this issue I find they are experiencing the same thing; as you get older, it's harder to make new friends. If I had known I was going to end up this isolated when I was younger, though I would still have become a monk, I probably would have made different choices in various areas of my life. Keep those friendships that are important to you and make the effort to maintain them.
Animals are family, sometimes they are better than people. I grieved more for my dog than I did my nan, they are pure souls we don't get that in people. Never apologise for loving family and grieving Winnies loss. ❤💔
I do understand. I had to turn this off to finish later because crying isn't how I want to start the day. Hugs to you all. And, not to bring it to me even more, but another dog now was the last thing I wanted after losing our centers, Brody and cat queen Scoshi, but a dog who very much needed us literally walked into our lives. I'm still eyeballing the closet, but when I am with the pets, all I feel is love and peace. I will say more probably after I finish watching this, but that is my hope and prayer for you both...love and peace.
Great video Zach! Very happy you are making your way forward after the heartbreaking loss of Winnie. 😢💔💖💖💖
Glad you had fun in Chicago!
I often wonder about my friendships. I don't really have anyone close right now, partially because of where I live and partially because I am so focusing on me right now, I don't really have time to try to build friendships. The last two trips I took to NYC and being able to spend time with people, however, have made me realize just how much I've missed hanging out and having others to talk to. When I got back, I realized just how empty my life feels at the moment not having someone I can just drop by and watch a movie or drink or play video games with.
Hoping when I find a new job and move away from where I am (preferably to a big city), I will be able to start branching out and making friends.
Have fun on your hiatus and I hope the move is going well!! 💖💖💖
Losing a family member is so hard! I am so sorry for the loss of Winnie…Zach and Alastair! My cat, Hanson, was 18 years old when I lost him. I still miss him. With everything that has gone on over the past 2 years…it’s okay to let yourself feel. Part of grieving is that you feel apart from yourself. Ones psyche needs to have a separation…it’s healthy! It gives one the chance to feel deeply…but also to carry on. Grief is a very good thing guys…it reminds you of what you have lost…shows you what you have…and what you have to continue on for…Brando and Alastair! And all of your friends! You are a very fortunate two men! You have each other…that is your greatest strength.
Thanks for sharing your life with a world of strangers. Keep loving and being kind. 🙂💛
I have been dealing with depression all of my life. I am 51 now. There was one time when I was taking every pill there was under the sun and it didn’t do anything for me. Finally I decided that depression is a part of me and that I’m just going to have to deal with it. I gave up the pills a long time ago. There are times when it really does nip at my heels but as you would say I just move through it. Losing an animal that you think of as a child is never easy. I have lost two and each experience was different but still heartbreaking. I wish you and your husband well.
I recently found you guys. I’ve been binge watching your vids. I just love them. I also suffer from depression. I can relate to you Zach. Sorry about Winnie. Hopefully you feel better soon.
Anyone who is tired of hearing about your loss has not loved their fur baby enough. I lost my baby and I will always feel that loss. Grieve however it works for you both. Huge hugs even two years later. I can understand as I’m sure many others do.
Let me give you my sincere sympathy for the loss of your precious dog, Winnie. She was a real treat to see with her wagging tail and happy jumping onto you both. Having been the owner of three dogs that I had to let go was a real traumatic experience. You both gave her a good life! Please rest assured in that as you process your grief. Precious memories.
I watched this for a second time love the closing conversation about you two being best friends what a beautiful closing.
Guys, I'm not a dog person but a cat guy. Anyhow, I know about the hole left in your heart when we loose our fur babies. Chin up and carry on. Things get so much better when you adopt a or more fur babies. All that love you have stored up from Winnie can be redirected. It's a mindset.
Well what to say: firstly life is full of ups and downs and losses, we need to find the inner strength to move on: secondly turning 68 this year and the only sad part of my life is the speed it moves: don’t wait guys love yourself, love your amazing husband (both of u lucked out you married your best friend). Love your friends I have been in 15/bridal parties for straight guys still in touch with almost all of them, friends so enlarge and enrich life. But it requires commitment and inclusion. Lastly your loved and respected by people like me who follow u , use that knowledge to ground yourself, and your self respect. Being well requires self love and respect you both have it let it envelope you and you both will continue to shine through your future years. Wishing you both the best now as always. ❤️
Hey guys, great video. Sometimes you just have to let things go, grief, negative thoughts and toxic friendships / relationships etc…. That you can neither control or spend your valuable time and energy on. Great friendships are easy, they’re not work or drama. They’re the best times you’ll ever have and make for the greatest of memories. Especially with people who bring joy to your lives and have your 100% trust. They’re life long friends. Thanks as always for sharing your lives.
Hey boys...nice to see you're still living life and having fun. A fact of life however unpleasant is that as you get older your circle of friends usually narrows. It's just the way it is. People will tend to drift in and out of your life.... this is the way of life.
Zach...I see you still struggle with depression. Life is full of ups and downs which sounds trite but it's all too true. Try to remember that while you journey through your life you have your man beside you to help you through them. Many out there don't have the same boast so try to remember that.
Final thought...it's VERY good to be young so embrace that and live life to the fullest.
Take care boys....
Thank you for this video. I've missed not seeing you more often. Thanks for your openness about your struggles. You and Allister are loved by so many of you followers.
Loss is hard especially when it’s a pet but you will always have great memories with that pet. You will make it through it with the memories. always keep the memories.😔
Life is never easy... Thank You for showing that. I have not written about a video in a long time... and I know you hear from so many that I wasn't missed. I don't always see your videos right away. But you always make me think, you guys make me feel. Right now, we are trying to get through our 4th move in 12 years, and this time I'm not really excited about it. This video and a couple that showed right after it of you both talking about depression in the car... was so good for me. You all may not be set in my path , but you still touch my heart.
I once went six months in a major depressive hole. I'm sorry about Winnie. Always remember how awesome it is that you have each other.
One year after we lost out Golden Retriever I swept up some of her hair from under the bed and I dropped to my knees and cried. Our pets are a huge part our family. It will get better Zac and you will have lots of happy memories.❤️❤️
Zack getting up and moving is very important; as while shutting down to process our loss is normal and actually good, because a major loss impacts our immune system. The difficulty for some folks is; they shut down and rather than getting back into their routines, they stay shut down which long term can make depression feom loss become chronic depression. It takes time and effort to process our losses, to get back to living life, and to make progress towards life goals. Getting back into working out is a good start, as is making videos, or whatevwr is part of your regular routine.
In the last 20 years I lost my sister, father, brother, and in 2019 my mother. I had planed on growing old with my siblings; but now face a future with no immediate family, but thankfully have my sister's two adult children and their father's family in the area. I have extended family 3 hours from here along with extended family near Shasta California, and in Florida.
Having support wither it's family or friends; is so important to our well being, as the social interaction, mutual support, etc, is good for our mental and physical health.
What you guys are saying about friendships is also true of maintaining family relationships healthy.
You've had a helluva great run on u-tube Zach. Best wishes to both you and Alastair in the future no matter where it leafs you. Thanks for the memories!!
“This is inappropriate I’m in my underwear” you straight up kept filming like YEAH AND? 🤣
It warms my heart to see him smile!
Our hearts ache for both you. We lost our baby girl Gracie this summer, and she too was sick for a long time before passing. Not a day goes by that I don't look for her or miss her. The price of that unconditional love is they take such a big piece of your heart when they go. Unless you've had a dog you can't understand the sense of loss and grief when they pass. Just know that because she loved you so much; she wouldn't want you to be sad. If nothing else, dogs are selfless. They see the best in us. Praying you find peace.
Same ,I'm 20 but also fighting my way out of depression. U have definitely been one of happy source of mine when I'm down . Thanks
It WILL get easier. We know just how you feel. We lost our little dogs 12 years ago and I still cry about it. We never got another dog. I don't think I could handle the heartache again. Wishing you the best.
I have found that putting all my love into another animal is the only way to save it. It’s like putting money in the bank. They keep it safe for you and return it with interest. 😸✌️
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. All four-legged parents know the pain and depression that sets in after the loss. It's been a while so I hope when you think of Winni, it is not the sadness you remember but you remember the joy and you smile.
These little ones are our babies. Don't worry about verbalizing what is inside. It facilitates healing. Blessings.
Great seeing you guys again and laughing and having fun! Enjoy each and every day and try not to stress yourself out thinking too much about the future and you are truly blessed having each other. My husband is my best friend and brings me joy and I see that in both of you. Looking forward to more videos from you guys soon!
Alastair is such a good husband material type may you both hold on each other like this.✌️
I've been watching you guys for a few years now and its really awesome to see you guys grow up -- I really mean that in the best way. having these videos when you get to middle age will be so much fun.
That was sweet. I love to see you guys. I know everyone has rough times and we have to take some time and then heal from our losses. It was great to see Zach get back in the game of life and persevere. The trip to Chicago looked like a lot of fun. Glad you guys were able to see some friends and kick up your heels. Love to Alastair and Zach! XOXOXOXO
I have had a long time dog rescue. Im old now and down to the last four of many many all beloved fur babies. They made my life worth living. I will be gone soon and I have to say my life was much richer due to my loyal canine friends.
Zac, I mourned for about six months when my Princess passed away of old age (in my arms). I would wonder how I would go through life without her. It's now 8 years since, I made it through yet I still miss my Princess.
I'm sorry. For your lost. She was a great dog. You guys are great. You show the reality of life. I love that. I love you guys.
Zach, I wanna say I love one of your videos at your house in Texas after you went to Chicago, Illinois with him, so I'm proud of you and I know you had an Southern accent, thanks to your husband, Alastair!!
Friendships are life’s jewels. They take time and occasionally money. You have to take care of them. They don’t flourish on their own. You sometimes have to give more than you get. If the person is worth it it isn’t a problem. I have lost most of my best friends due to various ailments. It isn’t fun to live without them.
A very interesting musical start to the video - love that song, an old Jewish hymn…starts with “how good it feels, sitting together with Brothers”. Looking forward to Coffee & Tequila!
Started watching you nearly 6 years ago and it’s always a pleasure. Watching you grow older is so sentimental
My dog I had for 17 years passed away in 2021. I'm still not over it tbh
Glad you guys are still together!
I have followed you guys for years. First time writing. You are me many years ago. From your size, voice, looks, everything. It's like I'm reliving my college years. But being as I'm 35+ yrs older than you, I didn't have the opportunities you have and my life went a different way. I wanted kids and at that time in a country town there was only one way. Single now but was married to a fantastic woman who gave me 4 fantastic and gorgeous kids who now have kids of their own. No regrets, but I live vicariously thru you. This video scared me because I thought you were picking up pieces because of a break up. Pshew. Take care guys. At this point in my life I need to see you happy.
And I meant to add that I recently felt your heartbreak. After my 32 yr marriage ended it was just my basset hound and me. He never left my side because if he didn't know where I was he'd hyperventilate and pass out, only to regain consciousness and repeat it. So he went to work with me daily. I had to euthanize him when he was 14 because he had something pop in his brain and what made matters worse was he no longer knew me. Of all things he forgot who I was. He was afraid and I had promised him I would never let him suffer. He didn't, but I still am because I haven't forgotten him.
We never stop missing our Fur-Babies. But we know someday we will be together with them again. That is what gives us hope. 💖
It was nice to see u travel to one of my favorite cities, Chicago & I have been to the Bean , once when Yo Yo MA, the famous Cellist was giving a free concert.
The Chicago Style Pizza is the best.
Hope you are happy in El Paso, a lot more to do than Oklahoma, plus beautiful mountains. You are so right about lifelong friendships, I have a lot of close friends for over 40 years now, that are like family. I am so lucky to have them. You are lucky to have Alastair, who would give up his books 4 u, that was touching.
I will leave u with this, when u get depressed, don't fight it at first, u spend so much energy fighting it , u get more depressed, so take a few days a week or more maybe, embrace it, let those feelings out, wallow in self pity, let it all out, cry. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself & exercise, eat right, get the fresh air & sun. It works 4 me.
Alastair & Zach - Friendships are hard to groom as one gets older. Besides my partner, I might have one other person in my life that I can count on to be there for me. All the other people in my life I consider acquaintances, unfortunately. When you always have to initiate the conversation whether via txt or phone call, it usually a sign to not cultivate the friendship/relationship going forward. I am a total introvert which makes it very difficult to make friends. Once I know a person and trust them, it is easier for me to open up.
I commend the two of you for putting the pieces back together after the loss of a family member, four-legged variety. It is very difficult to get past the loss and build yourself up to get back to the person you are. We said our final fare-well to our 16yr yorkie Labor Day weekend of 2019. We adopted a beautiful Havanese soul in Jan 2020 then lost our 11yr old Sheltie due to an undetected cancer 6 months after we adopted FeFe (the Havanese). We would have been totally lost if we have not adopted her and arrived home to an empty house once we said our good-byes to our Sheltie, Blydon.
This past year we added a mischievous silver-haired yorkie (Diego), a boisterous dachshund (Sophie) to our family. Now we are a family of 5!
Bless you and Alastair i feel your pain i know the feeling all to well always remember the memories , unconditional love hold tight to them ..... love ya'll ❤❤😘😘
“Can’t let depression take over”! 🤗
Thanks (again) for sharing. You have a great way of sharing your struggles and showing what works for you to combat them.
Glad to have you touching my life.
Heading home in a few weeks. Will get to spend time with a couple I’ve been friends with for 20 years now, and hopefully will meet up with some new friends I made over the internet in the last two years.
Much love to Bronson, Alastair, and you 🤗
P.S. don’t say “we’re awake” when Alastair is clearly still sleeping 😆
Loss of a family member whether human or non human companion, is never easy and possibly the worst part is living through it. Very glad to see you both working towards a better you. Be well men, and be happy. I also agree with faking it until you make it!!
This was great. Loved the melancholic soundtrack and the deep conversation at the end. You are right. Friendships are like plants that are worth cultivating. You never know how long you will have them when you get older. I'm a 59 year old gay follower. The majority of the friends I had at 25 were dead by the time I was 35. Savour every moment of your young life and your young friends.
I really like you guys- wish you both all the best. Oh and the pain is real ! Losing our pets ( children ) is one of the hardest things I have ever done. Keep moving foreword.. hope to see you more again. Depression can take over your life. Glad you are giving it hell ! 💕-Sherry
Wah.
That is the most romantic thing to say, "books are nothing compared to you". Sacrilegious but romantic none the less
Again like always such a lovely surprise to see an upload from you lads, grief is such a devastating thing to live with both in heart and mind. You just go through everyday as best as you can, cope in your own way, and never forget to talk about them as much as you want with out feeling guilty. I am so going to miss your vlogs but look forward to more coffee and tequilas/ my bloody judy’s 💜
Loved our trip to Chicago! Was so much fun getting to spend time with you guys again. And I loved getting to meet Arden too, she’s awesome. As for the friendship - I’m in this for the long run buddy. We’ll still be mates when we get so worn and wrinkly that we look like David Brinkley haha looking forward to hanging out again soon!
David Brinkley!!!
Great to see you posting ... we thought we might have already lost you for good. Remember that you don't have to entertain your true fans, you don't always have to be happy for us, you're allowed to be sad and depressed too ... we're just happy to hear from you. Completely understand your depression ... I lost a cat who'd been with me for 16 years and I was depressed for 18 months ... a death can do that to you. So take your time. Lots of love to you both.
Sharing is positive. Truth is positive. Taking steps ... even if it is one step a day ... is positive. It always benefits us as your followers to know who you are and what you are going through. I know depression ... well. And your comments about exhaustion are spot on ... not unlike the exhaustion of living in the closet. The race is only with yourselves ... one thing at a time, one day a time. You gents are loved.
I hate when friendships grow apart. It happened to me and I kept feeling like the friends I was trying to make sure we kept in touch were not putting the same effort. At the same time I knew they were going their separate ways from mine. I had to accept that. It hurts a lot more when you think a person is going to be in your entire life but they end up being their for what it feels like just a moment. It sucks but it's
Life
Do you have regular visits to your doctor? Could you have medical depression that you might need help with? It is an incredibly difficult time for all of us on planet earth, so any help we can get we need to take. Always remember to have some gratitude for all that you have in your life. A heart full of gratitude will elevate you out of depression. I continue to wish you both lots of good stuff in your life. Many blessings.
The hardest thing I ever had to do was put down my beloved beagle. I was beyond heartbroken for months. I’d look at pictures and cry for hours until I came to realize how much joy and fun we had. That was something that I could hang on to and his loss didn’t hurt so bad. I still miss him, but I can remember and smile.
I love you two boys, but I love your Union even more. Cherish each other.
Good day to you, Zach and Alastair. It was an amazing video, so much frankness, and the topic of friendship was raised. Finding friendship and preserving it is a whole art. I was very lucky in life, I met a couple of friends in the distant past, and have been together for 25 years. Despite the distance, the cities between us, we keep in touch. I deeply sympathize with you about Vinnie. She will live in your hearts, in the hearts of people who remembered her and her memory will be in your videos.
I feel the same way man when my boys passed. Marvin passed in 2019 and it was Jack and I and we grew a strong connection and he was my buddy we went everywhere together and followed me though the house. Then he developed cancer and He passed in September 2021, 2 years after Marvin...........I lost everything after he died and it was everything i could do to get up and go to work. Then i adopted another doggo that did not work and had to take him back and it was like i lost another pup and that his me hard that was just this week that i had to do that. In the process i lost my job and spiraled way out of control. I know your pain I'm here for you and I'm working through it at the same time. I am here for ya ill pay for you and Allister and hope you will do the same for me. Hope that the move and transition is going well.
This was a great video. Friendships are relationships and some come and go and some return, some never do. I have friends from 50-60 years ago and we know we could call one another for anything and we see each other when I go home on vacations and we talk all the time. I had some great friendships in college that lasted a few years after leaving college and we all went out own ways. Three very good friendships from college have rekindled in the past year and it's like we never parted, yet it had been 35-40 years. Real friends are the family we chose. Great video.
I've been watching you guys sporadically for years and always admire you a lot, plus you are both not hard to look at LOL. I'm going through a deep depression and anxiety. For a while now, for a couple of years dealing with health issues and my partners health issues. Also, our little sweetheart Kitty that we've had for 16 years since he was a kitten has cancer. He's my baby, like your little sweetheart, he always has to be with me constantly and falls asleep on my chest or face. Since he was diagnosed a month ago I have been even more of a wreck and I'm trying to be grateful for every day that he's here but I know it's temporary. He's still eating and pooping and seems okay but that's just a matter of time. Anyway, I'm heartbroken for you guys because I know what it feels like, plus I've been through it before. I just went on antidepressants a week ago and I hate them and am stopping because they're making me feel worse. I just have to do as you say, try to get up and get moving. Not always easy, especially when I'm twice your age, but I'll try. Best of luck to both of you.
From experience.
Please consider staying the course with your antidepressant. It can take up to two months for the medication to even out in your system.
If that particular medication doesn’t work, there are many others to try.
Don’t give up; you’ll get there!
😸✌️
@@Unpotted thnk u appreciate that.😉
“Do you want to go to McDonalds?”Alistair is such a smart-ass! Pilled you out of a funk tho.
Thanks for the good memories. May you both be in one frame in the days to come. Your relationship (couple goal) is awesome.✌️
Zach, Alastair…life will inevitably have more and more inevitability’s. I’m sorry to say it’s what makes you stronger as you grow
So sorry to hear about Winnie, very sad. Glad you are getting over your depression. Take care and continue to love each other. Love you both. Steve, London, UK xxxxx
Zach, you have one of the GREATEST LAUGHS EVER. Just hearing your laugh makes my soul happy. Also that deep voice is made for radio or reading to someone. I can picture you doing books on tape and listening to your voice and be at peace. Good tidings to you and Alistair always, truly have enjoyed your story. As an older gay man, I never had in my life something like you are to each other and that is OK. I am just so happy for you. Roll Tide from a life long UNC fan.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Sorry my post was so maudlin, never lose sight of the fact you and Alistair "chose" each other in very short order. You are magnificent together, so anytime you feel you are sliding down to those unpleasant depths, let him know at the onset. He will always be there to love, support, be your lifeline. You are both very fortunate. Think of it this way, you are both each other's Winnie!
I lost my dog 30 years ago and I'm STILL not over it. So, I completely understand.
I'm back in the States; been missing both of you. Stop worrying about friends they change but some last 50-plus years; people come and go or just disappear, but they reconnect. Zac, you are truly lucky to have taken the chance to meet Alister. I am looking forward to books and films, at present, I use allies to make purchases. That queen-size Helix is great.
Special forces are where I found my zone, for as long as I could hold that cold-heartedness but as time goes along I chose Medical and therapy made me a "cool therapist." That is where I found the two of you. It was the old-school prejudice and that B/S "Don't ask don't tell" list I chose to work with and look at what has happened. It pays off knowing, extremely high ranking "Birds of a feather."
I just celebrated my 56th year I active duty. There are a few who ask when I will retire, maybe when I die. The truth is when I finally want to meet the two of you and all the other couples; it is hard to realize just how many couples there are, I never will give up until the trans coupes have the rights as well. While offshore I finally got my last two stars and a whole lot more.
I started watching your videos this week. I find myself envious of you guys. I have hidden who I am my entire life because I grew up in a different time. It’s fair to say I missed my moment. I am married to a woman that I’m not in love with because I can’t come out. Your life is interesting and inspiring to me. I wish you both well. Live your truth because life is short. Be happy
I really love you boys and I pray for your peace and comfort and deliverance from depression.
Goodbyes are always hard… sometimes we choose to say goodbye and sometimes we have no choice in the matter and we’re forced to say goodbye. The forced ones are worse cause it wasn’t a choice…. 💙
I apologize I had to play catch up w episodes been working a bunch im glade your both shining bright like the brightest light you both are .Thk you for another good one😁
Thank you for this open and honest video...we have all been there and going thru it too.