I've been at it for 30 minutes trying to create a Microsoft Azure account.

I guess I was born without that part in the brain that enables you to create Microsoft accounts.
I swear I tried it other ways too - with the heads always pointing up. With the feet flat on the ground and head slightly up, feet flat and head slightly down.. Anything. There's one option that does not exist there, which is actually feet flat on the ground, "straight up".