I was a SAHM for 20 years and have zero regret. Focusing on raising my children was the best...and most important...thing I'll do. I went back to work when they were older and grown and now have a successful and lucrative career working in healthcare. Women can have it all...but doesn't have to be at the same time.
The sad thing is a lot of women are shitty “parents” so it’s be better to not have had kids of course or at least get a job so the kids are subjected to them less. Some also sound like Andrew Tate brainwashed them.
As a person who worked non-stop for 10-some years, I never thought of giving up my career until I had my little girl. Unlike the companies that let you go in a heartbeat, you mean the world to your children when they are young. Being a SAHM rocks! 😊
same here. But I find comfort in knowing I can go back. I went back to work when she turned 2, but only for 20 h a week and it was perfect. I had time for all and stayed somewhat competitive on the work market.
I'm a 37 year old American who got married at 21 and have been living the fairytale life of being a homemaker and homeschooling Mom of 5 for over 15 years. I LOVE it. I truly love maintaining my home, raising the kids and nurturing my husband and our marriage. My life is fairly low stress, kids are happy and our marriage is awesome. I'm glad to see the doors opening again to allow other women to enjoy this lifestyle too.
I’m a 39-year-old Jamaican woman, and that’s been my life since I got married at 19. I feel happier at home. We have one child, though. I saw this dynamic throughout my childhood growing up with my grandparents, parents and still with my generation of siblings and cousins, so it’s remarkable and refreshing to see. I’d say it’s common in the Caribbean and also on the continent.
This isn’t only about being a good wife it’s about being treated as an equal. We made the choice after marrying for me to stay at home and be the home maker. I did want to make my husband feel like the most important man in the world to me, respect going both ways, leaning on each other and propping each other up when needed. I love being a housewife and when my role as a mum wasn’t needed anymore I did start my own career at 45. Married 46 years now and my hubby loves being looked after and I like being treated like a lady. As he treats me well like one. So it can be really good.
@@parishers6351If I am not mistaken this was an expectation due to society. During this time couples usually had several children. Financial independent working mothers were not widely socially accepted. Nowadays, if some women have a couple kids they are expected to perform paid work outside the home and all the unpaid work inside the house. This is due to their husband's mother's always doing the domestic duties and refusing to help their working wives. If their wives have several children like their mothers then it is acceptable for them to stay home and not work outside the home. Pray for the best and prepare for the worst.
I worked as a full time nurse. What I’ve learned is that you can be passionate and pour your heart out at work, but at the end of the day, you are dispensable. However, your family will forever be grateful for everything you’ve sacrificed for them. ❤
You can pour your heart out into your family, and then your husband can divorce you and get another. You are still disposable. Your kids will still need you, but you will have to have some type of income.
@Savannah2751 it's very rare that a husband leaves a genuinely good wife. husbands rarely ever even leave a bad wife. even in the west where divorce rates are high it's 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman the love of children is unconditional and men love the mother of their children deeply especially if she's a good woman. a family is a far safer bet than work in 99%, of cases when it comes to disposability
Work isn't all its cracked up to be. But I want you to know that I've been in hospital in a critical condition and i will always be grateful for people like you who kept me alive.
Uhh no... Just because you have kids and raise them, doesn't mean they are gonna appreciate it, respect you or ever even look after you one day in return. You are not promised that when you force someone else into existence who had no ability to have a say over it. There is literally tons of elderly people in care homes who's family are all grown up, living their own lives, some in other countries and barely even see them and the level of loneliness among the older population is quite high so this idea that parenthood will be more appreciative than the workforce is not true.
This only works when it is done the way my parents did it. Mom knew where the money was and dad walked the crying baby up and down the hall to give her a break. True partners who respected and cared for each other.
I have had a wonderful life too - 5 children (now got grandchildren) - always then and now worked full time. I think what children want is happy parents and women and men are helped when they have choices.
What will you do when your kids leave home and parents die? Sounds like your life has been sacrificed to the service of others. What is YOUR life about - that part that has nothing whatever to do with others? Yikes!
I stayed home for 10 years with my children. It was never about being a wife it was because my husband made more money than I did at the time. Don't kid yourself it's hard work! I Also was responsible for every aspect of family life, I cooked and cleaned, I paid the bills, I ran our budget, I dealt with all appointments (even my husband's), I did homework with the kids and volunteered at their school and our church. My day started at 7 am and ended at 9 pm. No way could my husband pay someone enough for that job, and he knew it. Oh, and I gardened and grew most of our fresh produce in the summer and canned food for winter. Feminism is about choice women getting to chose what they want to be.
That's the life my ex MIL lived before her husband left her and her three sons for his secretary. Really cliched! As admirable as your choice was the reality is you're also putting yourself in a vulnerable position financially if your marriage falls apart. My marriage was short and thankfully, there were no kids. My experience left me financially devastated and it took years to recover. My ex MIL lost her house and received just enough support from her ex to take care of the basics while her ex lived in a huge 4 bedroom 4 bathroom house. My ex MIL never bothered looking for a job as she had no skills outside of cooking and cleaning for 20 years. These days, women need to be financially independent and be able to support themselves if their marriage goes south. The largest percentage of people living in poverty are single mums who rarely receive child support. Just saying............
@bluebellrose8 I dont know where you live, but if my husband divorced me, I get half of every penny he made and half of all assets. He would also be supporting me for years. However, I also have a university education, so I doubt I would struggle. We both just felt it was best for the kids if they had someone at home when they were young. If I made more money it would have been him.
For those criticising it: you think it’s oppressive to stay home, take care of the kids and be provided for, but will happily be overworked and most times underpaid by a boss/company who would replace you the next day if you dropped dead? 😂
The point is not there... the point is how can you afford a home without a second salary in the household when interest rates are so high and the value of home keep skyrocketing because of immigration? Shoveling the financial burden to your spouse is financial and social irresponsibility.
@@evalangley3985 obviously it’s only for families who can afford to do this. It’s hard to support a family on a single income nowadays. But my point is that some people criticise couples who can afford to do this out of principle because they think it’s “oppressive” for the women.
I’m a proudly stayed home mom. I think that taking care of your children is a great opportunity in life that is priceless. It doesn't matter if you don't have enough money because at the end of the day knowing that your children are in a safe environment is a great reward.
@@dayofthemoon1 And it can be more cost-effective for moms to stay at home and not have all the childcare costs/second car/fast food expenses that can come with a 2nd person working
Good on these women they'll never regret the precious 'time' they gave their children, being that vital person supporting their children's well being, education and growth. It's a full time career in itself.
I would rather my husband leave me than be with a man who is a liar and a cheater. It’s not a death sentence to be single anymore, it’s not the early 19th century for crying out loud.
@@allip4226 Divorces have always been initiated mostly by women, and men usually get the short end of the stick in family courts, don't know where you got that from.
I’ve been a stay at home mom and mother of 5 for 30 years. I’m almost 50 now and absolutely love my life. I still have two kids at home, the youngest being 10. I can’t imagine going back to work now. Nor do I want to. I’m very fortunate. I have a wonderful hard working husband that has every evening and weekend off and we make a wonderful team. ♥️
Speaking as a lady in her 60s that had 4 children, I have seen the role of women in Australia change dramatically. There is nothing wrong with a woman working outside the home, as long as the home duties are shared EQUALLY with her partner ‘IF ‘ they are working as well. But what I have noticed in an overwhelming number of families, women are aspected to still do most or all of the so called women’s duties at home as well. Also why have children if you hand them over to strangers to look after? So it is still a man’s world, just look at who’s running and making the rules of the country!
Exactly!! I can't believe this isn't being commented more. If your partner cleans, runs errands and takes care of the kids exactly as much as you do, you can completely work outside the home and have a fulfilling family life. So many women would rather hide that they married a twat than admit that.
I'm a single business woman, who never had children. However, I was raised in family of eight with a primarily "stay-at-home" Mom. But, I've seen loads of working Mom's in my over 38 year career, and I see the women are STILL handling the lion's share of the household responsibilities, including raising of the children and squiring them to their many recreational activities. I remember a young male professional who purposely stayed at the office late, so when he got home it was past his children's bed time. I knew exactly what he was doing - avoiding having to parent. He felt that his Wife's being a stay-at-home parent meant she handled ALL household responsibilities, including the raising of their children and everything household related, because he was brining home the bacon. I believe that if two people agree to become parents, they should share a balanced parenting relationship with their children.
I don’t think you can label all men who don’t do domestic chores as twats. For one thing, the wives sometimes are critical of the way men do housework and so that causes friction as well. Also, men are not at all good at multi-tasking. We can not remake the masculine tendencies anymore than we can the feminine ones. I think todays society is trying too hard to blur the sexes and this, in my mind, is a big mistake. There are many father’s who powerfully love their wives and children but have no propensity for homemaking. They simply express their love in different ways and help out in the ways that come most naturally to them.
My mother had to work as 2 wages were needed to pay bills and feed a family with 3 children. Mum did all the housework and cooking and worked full-time. Without her earning we would have been cold in winter without wood or a freezer full of food. It wasn't a choice to work it was a necessity to pay the bills.
Its one thing to want to be a stay at home mom. Its another thing when your husband demands you to stay at home, or demands his dinner on the table. I have been happily married for 22 years to a wonderful man. He does NOT expect anything from me but appreciates all that I do. He also helps around the house and takes care of me as I take care of him. We are a Team!! And that is what marriage is all about. We cook together, we clean together. When I had to have my hips replaced and could no longer go up and down the stairs he took over all the laundry duties. I even suggested we move our washer and dryer upstairs so I can still do it but he said no that he will take care of it. I say if a woman wants to stay at home then she should if she wants to work then she should. If a man wants to be a stay at home dad hey more power to him. But everything should be a shared decision. I would never be ok with my husband giving me an allowance each week in the amount that his sees fit. What's his is mine and what's mine is his. But hey if these woman want a man to tell them how they can live their lives, more power to them. But in all honestly that couple probably isn't going to last. She is gonna get tired of his demanding ways.
So many raw feelings for me. I was born in 1986 in a conservative religious home in ca, raised with a traditional gender roles with a business-owner father, and a SAHM. My sister and I were taught that men would love and appreciate the fact that we were learning to be housewives, and that we could cook and clean etc. I expected to meet the kind of man that my sister did, and that my brother grew into: a husband who would support me if I stayed at home *or* decided to work full or part time. Every man I’ve ever met since, has made me feel shame for ever even expecting that, and expecting that kind of joint, but different forces within the family. I’m expected to take much better care of myself than he ever would, stay fit and trim and healthy and beautiful and have my hair and nails done, raise the kids and make just as much as he does, with separate incomes. I love my work and don’t want to stay home, but I would actually look up to and respect a man much more if he was willing to support me at home. It was easier to just be single because I can’t respect a man who wants me to do all the things a wife and mother does, AND work just like he does. Honestly, it’s easier without a man like this. If I’m going to work, but also in heels and make up every day, and if I’m going to parent the same children, but also carry them, give birth them and nurse them, then what does he really offer? If he wants me to do it all without him, I will. And I am. I’m now happier than ever as a single mom with a demanding career, and raising my 5 year old son full-time alone by myself. The only thing a man would bring me right now is the added stress of a relationship, and the risk of upheaval to my son. If the relationship becomes strained, or he decided to leave or cheat, there would be a lot of repercussions for us. Unless someone really had something to offer, our life is too peaceful right now without a man to make a change and take that risk.
I'm a single mom of a 15 year old and when I was married I had this life you describe, minus the high heels. I look good, didn't need to add that stress to please him. But, I was falling apart every day for 11 years so I divorced and mind my own business, no man around for 5 years. I think its a blessing, I even look younger. But, I don't blame women who are lucky and find good men. I think they deserve it and also their kids grow healthier with 2 parents. The condition is the parents are both healthy, which was not our cases. Good luck and take care!
A lot of men are greedy, they want a bang maid who pays the bills and never says anything. They dont see the value of domestic work and kids. That s why the birth rate is crashing. People can't do it alone or they burn out. Take care.
The ideal for many women is part time work 2-3 days a week. If you are totally reliant on a man for money,housekeeping etc. What happens if marriage ends after 20 years? How do you support yourself then?
when you believe that God exists, you wouldn't be thinking about having a bad future. A good woman could run a home and a business at home at the same time. ❤
Planning for a divorce may be a sign of a worldview problem. Why would two people who have been dedicating their lives to each other for 2 decades just break it off? My wife and I don't believe in divorce (except for abuse, abandonment, or adultery), so neither one of us has any backup plans, aside from life insurance. If I pass away, she has life insurance that will take care of her and the kids for 7 years of my salary. If she passes away, her life insurance will give me 3 years to adjust and make plans for launching the kids into adulthood. We co-own all of our assets and have no separate bank accounts. We live a traditional life, and it works. 27 years of marriage. 4 children. (2 are adults.) My wife has homeschooled all of them up to university. All three of my daughters want to have big families and homeschool their children. My son wants to marry a like-minded woman. This life can be lived without plan B. If your life has had turmoil, I wish you the best and hope you find God's richest blessings in your life.
Nobody ever thinks that divorce or widowhood could ever happen to them. If a woman has no skill, and finds herself divorced, abandoned, or widowed, then she's in for a difficult time.
I gave up my career for my child, I had offers of jobs well paid but they required long hours and a lot of responsibility. I chose to work part time in order to have some time for my son. I don’t know if that’s the best decision but my son needs me and so do I
As a woman. I gave up my life at age 39. I stopped working in hospitals permanently to stay home and look after the family. I'm now 46 and attending my Bachelor's Degree of Japanese course online in my free time 🇯🇵🎓😊👍
Nothing wrong with that. Some want to work; some want to make a home. Some do both. What’s great is every couple can choose what works for their family.
Yes, freedom is a beautiful thing. Feminism should never be about pushing women to act like men. It’s about giving women the same opportunities men have and the freedom to choose. For that matter, men have the freedom to choose, too. Some families, papa keeps the home while mama makes the money.
I like having a choice. I worked but stopped when my daughter was born and I had the opportunity to stay at home for 5 years. I watched her first steps-we had no stress-we bonded. I would trade millions for this.
I've done it all, homemaker, part time worker, full time worker, home based business owner and now back to being a homemaker. It makes me so happy. As a parent to children with special needs I have been able to be available to help them through various things. Am I great homemaker no but I try my best and then I share on You Tube for others to see that we don't have to have it all perfect and I have a great little community x
I actually love being able to take care of my family. My husband is the main breadwinner and I clean houses part time. I didn’t work outside the home for 4 1/2 yrs when my son was born. It’s very rewarding. I don’t think it’s fair to assume we are giving up something bc we aren’t we are able to be there for our husbands and children we are helping mold a generation.
So many women entered the workforce because of horror stories of husbands running off with the secretary, and leaving their wives and children destitute. As long as men fulfill their duty as breadwinner, many women will be satisfied staying at home and being homemakers. The thing is, that teamwork must be there. Without that teamwork, women are forced to enter the workforce. Many do it out of fear rather than desire.
I agree until society (men) view women to have value outside of housework and child rearing, things won’t change. Women lose their value to men and in the workforce after the children are grown up. I hope they have true value in it and their partner does too.
@shannonnero🤣🤣🤣 That same mindset has left the majority of western women in poverty. Women are the ones with the eviction rates soaring and packing homeless shelters. They don’t seem vulnerable at all.
I work full time in the corporate, and I run a house, shared equal responsibility with my partner. I love my career, I am confident of who I am, and I am proud of what I have achieved. I get to travel on the weekend with my daughter, because I get to do whatever I want with the money I made. And I get to spoil my partner and my child. I applaud these women of what the give up outside of their home. I have a much crazier life, but I love it.
I totally agree! When my first child was born, I just could not leave him and I started babysitting for a doctor's family, taking him with me. I did this as they had more children, and I had another child, at the time my husband was a student, so money was tight. I went to work part time when my third child was in school. I never regretted staying home with them but felt very blessed.
@queenofthebutterflies5212 The video descriptions says so, but the same applies today as it did then if u can afford it (even if it requires some lifestyle adjustment) its deffo something ppl shud consider
I have always been a career woman. During lockdown I moved my office to my home and I never looked back. I love being a SAHM! Great for me, hubby, children, home management.....every part of life!
I chose to be a housewife until my kids grow up and start school as I believe that the first years are very important, and the kids grow up so fast! The idea of me being there all the time gives them that safety net and I love it! We are not doing great financially but it's a sacrifice we agreed to make! I think it's healthier for the whole family to be a stay home mum until the kids are old enough to go to school at least! A working mum is a tough mum and I respect that alot! Shaming shouldn't be there in both choices! Each to there own honestly!!
Oh wow the shaming !!! Sorry you had a bad experience with your mum that you don't wanna spend a lot of time with her😂 We are not poor ! We are not doing great there is a difference... If your mum taught you proper English 😂
@@lilianasaba9846 I agree, I believe woman do one or the other and not both unless they need to eg saving up for a house in this day and age etc. Other than that I think being a full time house wife is nothing short of goodness.
@@2ru2pacFan plenty of goodness. When we are mothers and have full-time office jobs our family lives suffer. We end up with societal breakdown. We get so depleted. It's very rewarding being a full-time mother. You are actually present
Badly worded headline, rather stay home than work?! Staying home looking after the cooking, cleaning, looking after the children, doing the laundry, shopping, etc., that is work!
I was a very happy stay at home mum of 4 until I became chronically ill, my husband was used to being waited on and is now married to a healthy woman who can look after him, so much for 'in sickeness and in health'
This is wonderful and I fully support these women!!! My sister rushes around works so hard to provide for her daughters. Picks them up from aftercare (after school program) at 5:30pm in the car after work, her husband commutes by train. She is so tired at the end of the day and so are her girls who have been at school since 8:15am!!!! The three of them burst in the door at home, her husband not far behind from the train station. One parent does bath time, the other makes dinner. They sit the kids down to eat, my sister grabbing a bite in between making lunches for the next day and putting on a load of laundry. They each read a couple of books to each child before bed and tuck them in. Downstairs the parents go to clean up from dinner, watch 30 mins of TV, fold laundry and take the dog for a walk before they collapse into bed. And then the best part? You get to wake up at 6:15am and do it all over again the next day. This whole routine has aged my sister and made her stressed out and not present in her daily life!!! Pretty much a life of hell. When does one have time to see their friends, exercise, grocery shop etc? What a nightmare. The world should go back to how things were in the 80's. Much better life balance. Everyone was happier.
Your sisters life is currently hectic but solutions are possible. The problem is the family's commute not being a working mom. Depending on their careers and finances a job change or moving could solve it. After care programs are targeted to the age of the children. They can include naps and snacks if needed. It is no different then extra curricular activities such as sports or music the children might choose to attend in the future. Meal prepping on the weekend will shorten cooking and clean up time during the week. When the kids are old enough they can help with dinner too. Waiting until the weekend to do laundry will free up time to unwind in the evening. Until the kids are old enough to help. Outsourcing the dogwalking to a neighbor or friend during the week will free up quality time for the couple. Until the kids are old enough to walk the family pet. Due to the age of the children. Socializing, exercising, grocery shopping will most likely be done on the weekends as a family affair. Unless they have access to lots of relatives and friends to watch the kids. Personally I would choose to be a working mother. My aunt was married to millionaire. She was a stay at home wife. Stay at home mother of 5. They hired a domestic helper. Everything was great until they divorced. She had to return to the work force. Get an mentally and physically demanding entry level job because she had limited education and experience. Then work until she was old enough to claim government pension. She can't afford to live on her own. Lives with a child that creates grey hair faster than she can colour them. There is no domestic helper or accustomed luxuries. The rest of the children are scattered in the wind going about their own lives and families. Yes they visit when they can but not often enough. She is suffering with arthritis now. I do not believe any of them will step up to become her full time caregiver. She most likely will be placed in a home. Raise your kids to have back up plans. I wouldn't want any of my kids ending up like their great aunt.
I don't have a mom but I have a big sister who is a stay-at-home mom and it's really nice to have her home-cooking meals. I get to eat fresh meals after I get home from work all thanks to her. So I was thinking like, " Is what it is like to have a mother?" Our mom died when we were very young.
Feminism is about choice. Don’t let anyone pressure you as to what kind of lifestyle you want. If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, that’s your choice. If you want a career from or away the home, that’s your choice. Don’t let people that don’t live your life tell you what life you should be living. Do what’s best and needed for you and your family. Not everything is wrapped up neatly. Matters such as this should be discussed about with your partner.
raising my children, being a homemaker and wife have been the joy of my life. i never felt the tug to join the workforce and serve strangers to being at home. my children are grown and one has gone to heaven now. my husband and I look forward to his retirement in a few years and spending more time together.
I want people to do whatever they want to do so long as they are really happy. Honestly, having a loving attentive stay at home mom (or dad) could be a beautiful gift to their children. It gives them a sense of comfort and security. Dinner together at the table. If mom stays at home, it is also work and its her contribution...the one working outside the home has their contribution. Neither is more important but both are essential.
Anyone heard of the Cinderella Complex? The Four D’s? Death, divorce desertion and dementia. Stay home if you will and don’t say anyone didn’t warn you.
Why do so many women think their only 2 choices are care for the home or work and care for the home? How about both parents work and both care for the home? Men are capable of sharing home and child responsibilities.
My husband stayed home and I worked for the 1st 4 years of my 2 babies and then we both worked. I am now retired and my husband workers. My 2 sons are very mature and going to collage. Staying home is so difficult and I admire these woman that want to stay home and do all that work.
Crazy! With the divorce rate what it is, a woman without a career is putting herself at serious risk of being abandoned with little ability to earn in mid- or later life. Economic dependence deprives women of options in cases of domestic violence, etc. Also, careers provide a valuable opportunity for self-actualization.
As a career woman, who wouldn’t want it any other way, I cheer all the ladies who make this choice, the choice to be a full-time mother, on. I am not a mother. Had I been a mother I might have made a different choice.
They are so right! Totally agree! You CAN'T have it all and that's ok! Whoever tells you that staying home and taking care of your children and home is "easy" is lying. If you do it right and actually put the time and care into it that this important job deserves, it's a lot of work. They studied this and found out that if you were to outsource all of the domestic and childcare labor it would come to about $200,000 a year! What about when your kids grow up? Invest in your community! Visit the sick and elderly, make meals for new moms, train to become a doula or midwife, teach birthing or childrearing classes, babysit so a mom can get some time to herself. If we had empty-nest women investing in their communities we wouldn't need so much charity or government intervention!
You CAN have it all if your partner has a good job, ACTUALLY cleans the house as well and honestly takes on 50% of the child care. Stop making excuses for marrying the wrong man.
@@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend Why would I WANT a man who wants to do those things? I picked my husband BECAUSE he is traditional, a provider, a good leader, a man I respect more than anyone I know, and a man who would support me staying home to take care of our home and kids. A man who wanted to do everything 50/50 would be the wrong man. I would be unhappy with a man like that. Most women would. Most men would also be unhappy to be with a woman wanting a 50/50 arrangement because the genders are not made to be 50/50. We're made to be 100/100, each giving their all to their gender unique role in life and the relationship.
I so agree. I so agree. Make it easy for decent couples who cannot have kids to adopt. Provide free resources so infertile couples can get surrogates. We really need to improve the way we live & not be all about money.
@@LizzyTwifehomemaker I agree. God didn't even make us to go 50/50 with a man. Only in the West we live like this. In other parts of the world, men are happy to be providers as long as their wives respect them. I want to respect my man. I want to take care of him. I want him to be above me & lead me. It's the feminist movement that spoiled everything for us. Men now hate responsibility. If I can go to work & respect my boss, work hard for him & let him lead me, why wouldn't I want to do that for my husband? I will gladly be a stay at home wife.
My concern with being a housewife is once the kids grow up and leave home, what do you have in life? It wouldn’t be easy getting back into the work force if you decide to after taking off 16 plus years.
You are already in the workforce if you are bringing up children. It’s a 24 hour, unacknowledged, full-time job. It IS work. It’s not ‘taking off’ 16 plus years!
@@MariTeabag-lf1lycome on you know what they mean. Try getting a good job outside the house after being a stay-at-home mom for years... it's nearly impossible.
Its sad if you just consider a worker or a mother, as a woman there is much more to me than just those 2 things and when you are done raising your children you have your life ahead of you to learn, do or be whatever you want.
So you don't stay home & bond with your child for 18 years.... because you're afraid of what MIGHT happen afterward??? (No mother thinks like. A mother puts the needs of their child first.)
The danger is when your husband has worked up a good pension or savings account and he leaves you when you're older. Unfortunately countries like Australia are super backwards when it comes to financial equality.
Omg, I didn’t realize the story was 14 yo! I assumed that since it was posted a few days ago that it’s a new story. I wld love an update on them too! I hope their husbands treated them with respect and pitched in so they didn’t burn out. Being a sahm is exhausting.
Young domestic stay at home moms will enjoy it for awhile. My 87 year old mom who was a stay at home wife always told me not to make the same mistake she did. Her only regret was not being self sufficient and having to depend on my dad for everything.
Im a housewife with a small stay at home business and this is where i come from. I use to work, and it was horrible trying to raise my first daughter and work. Then during a meeting i mentioned an issue and management literally just responded with "well we can always just find new staff" (cue three years later and theres a workers shortage in that sector). But it really hit hard. I resigned after i attempted to reschedule my shifts so i could take my daughter to daycare. My request wasnt even acknowledged, literally my emails were ignored and anytime i verbally brought it up it was just "we will talk about it later". But then i was also in trouble for running late for work because i couldnt get my daughter ready on time. I even remember being pregnant and a manager telling me she had gone back to work just a week after giving birth trying to discourage me from taking my full leave. Its like almost youre not allowed to have kids. *Edit, Im from Australia*
Apparently, the United States doesn't offer maternity leave at all. If you're lucky, you might get 2 weeks paid leave from the company you're with. Imagine dropping off a newborn at daycare? Women are discriminated in terms of the gender pay gap and penalized when they have children and this occurs globally. This might begin to change as there appears to be a growing epidemic called "quiet quitting!"
@bluebellrose8 Yup, this is how they are towards family in general..and when I was married, I would not be hired bc of that... As a single mom now, I'm less hireable bc they know single moms have so many responsibilities and less support, so they see, oh, this person is going to call off, etc. They act like they're doing you a favor by giving you a job....or charity case...but never actually take you seriously bc of you not having an open schedule I was fired once because I took on full responsibility of my daughter and it was an emergency I didn't have any other choice but to stay home with her, but I tried to reschedule my shifts and say hey can I do evening instead when I have family home? I thought they'd understand bc it was an emergency....nope. I literally had no other choice but to quit bc I had Noone to watch my daughter and was going through a divorce and my ex husband was abusive.
Rather stay home than “Work”?!? A Mom that is fully responsible for running the home ie. raising the children, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. WORKS 24/7! If a kid is up yakking at 3am you think the Dad’s gonna get up with them- GUESS AGAIN! She’ll have to also do the grocery shopping, take the kids to appts., collect them from school, etc. P.S. the Husband doles out the money whilst the wife has no opinion on how much- NO THANK YOU❗️😖❗️
My brother is a gay man with a Husband and they have 2 little girls. If one of the children is ever unwell (which is rare) then my brother wouldn't hesitate to be up during the night - because he is a registered nurse as well as their Dad. However, his Husband would also be up if necessary. Not all men shy away from domestic duties.
@@belindathomas7430 Your brother and BIL sound like wonderful parents but I was referring to the stereotypical 1950’s housewife as described in the vid where the Mother figure was expected TO DO IT ALL. 🙂
Worked for some, not for all. I worked, then stopped when I married be had a child, after 5 years decided enough with the housework, baking lessons, crafting, tea dates, trolling malls, scrubbing the house and buying all sorts of organizing things, travel etc till one I got tired of all of it. I went back to work, took lessons, changed jobs all while juggling being a mom taking my child to sports and music lessons, school picnics what have you. It’s tiring, stressful yeah but I was happier to have my own career with the full support and understanding of my husband and my son who equally thrived at school. So to each her own. I realized being a housewife was not for me in fact I developed depression when I stayed at home.
It is not wrong to be a housewife by choice. I am quite feminist. It would not suit me. It is a completely valid and legitimate choice for women, who are sacrificing careers and incomes for their families. It is hard to do it all literally. Feminism made a mistake by assuming women would do it all in the home and at work, thereby forcing women to have full-time careers, a second shift of housework, cooking, cleaning, and childrearing, pleasing the husband, looking after husbands and parents, gardening, working out one hour a day, looking like a supermodel, having outside interests such as yoga, guitar, dinner parties, etc; basically, requiring everything of women while not requiring anything of men. Men need to up the ante at home and women need to hold them to higher standards; no more of this 'saving' or 'fixing' some loser to make him into an ideal man. If women want careers, they will need the father's support and outside help in the home. Basically, society and feminism dumped it all on women to do and expected perfection, kind of like what Betty Friedan wrote about in The Feminine Mystique. Today's superwoman somehow is just another version of that.
I don't believe there is anything wrong with being a "Stay-At-Home Parent", however I think there is something to be said about maintaining financial independence (especially in situations where domestic violence is a reality for many women - the isolation from their social support system). Also, the "frazzled mom" that they kept referring to stems from the expectations of women having to "do it all". This is why you have a partner, so they can pitch in with shared responsibilities therefore you're not over-extended!
Most women who work outside the house do the lion's share of everything at home too, so I don't blame them for not wanting to work full time outside the home and an almost full time job at home too.
I did it for 17 yrs, my children needed me, their dad was a very busy doctor, then I went back to my career. I loved being with my kids all the time and sharing their experiences. We always had dinner together, I alwways cooked dinner, clothing done, house in order, kids to their activities, weekends, more kid activities church and friends, i wouldnt trade it.
No thanks! The best story I have is a lady I chatted briefly with at the laundromat. She told me her husband had died recently. She must have been about 60. I said 'Sorry about your loss!" She replied "Don't be, I'm so happy! My life is a lot less work now!" Never stay home and depend on a man financially. Unless you can work from home and have your own work/life balance. Anything can happen in life whether it's Divorce or Death. It can be financially devastating to start again as a single woman with/without dependents. Not just that but women always end up doing most of the housework in addition to working. So, it's either you both decide what kind of lifestyle you want to have before setting up your house. Both work, kids, cleaning lady and nanny or daycare. Or both work and equally shared housework and childcare? Women should set an example to their daughters and sons to be financially independent and not be a doormat for others.
Truly, this is the most satisfying feeling in the world to be a woman who is a good mom and can take care of the house without being overstressed. There are yet many things you can do as hobby even from home if you have time. We don't need to do what others can do. What a woman can do in the house, no one else can do.
I've been a sahm for many, many years. It's the hardest job you will ever love !!! I was widowed several years ago and thankfully, continued to be a sahm, thanks to my late husband and I planning for the future.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but here's something to think about: While this sounds great on the surface, what happens when their husband decides he no longer wants to be married, or wants to sleep with someone else, and these women are now stuck financially with a man who promised them the world and didn't deliver? Unfortunately that happened a lot in the 50's. It's sad to think about, but very much a reality. If you can't take care of yourself, then you're stuck in a miserable marriage, and to me, that sounds like the worst kind of hell. I'll stick with my career, it not only brings me joy and incredible friendships, it also brings freedom and independence.
These women don't understand what the 50s & 60s were truly like. Domestic abuse was classed as a husband just exercising his duty to keep the wife in her place. Almost the only women in the workforce were the young unmarried women......looking to catch a man. Marital affairs were the norm for husbands and the wife was to just put up with it. Women were second class citizens with little personal freedoms, or rights. I saw my mother treated horribly and could never forgive my father.
Not to mention that the wife didn’t have credit in her name. My mother fought hard to ensure that she had a credit card separate from my dad because she knew how important it was to establish credit. Always have an emergency plan.
After working a corporate gig for half my life, I get it. Work is just money. There is nothing else there. Work won't love you. And if you get your value from work, well...thats great. But investing in relationships and family is worth it. It works for everyone.
I think it's so extremely important to have a mother at home... my mom raised us while having the pressure of a full time job as a teacher..she really needed more time at home and the current way schools are set up, it isn't like it was when I was a kid in the nineties..we walked home from school..and sometimes had to be dropped off two hours early or stay an hour late bc my parents were busy at work.. Saturday and Sunday wasn't about quality time it was about chores. But bc my mom was a teacher, and she spent a lot of time during summer taking us on adventures that were educational, and it was nice for her to have her own money. I'm all for people being stay at home moms, but the reality is not everyone can afford that. My grandma took care of her kids and began her own business out of her home and it grew into a huge business where she employed 30 to 40 women, all sewing drapes. I think it's wonderful for a woman to have a job, but also the job atmosphere....except Europe is not family oriented. In CzechRepublic, both the husband and wife can be at home with the baby and get paid family leave time. That's just one example..western society is highly developed but not supportive of families. School systems are not trustworthy with our children, and also act like they own our kids or know them better than us or love them more... this has been my experience and it is harmful and disrespectful. For elementary school students, you're bound to their school schedule and there's limited space in the school system for after school care and daycare costs are literally the same amount of money as a full time income..so that being said. I don't see why any mother in this day and age would stay fully employed..
I have felt so overwhelmed trying to keep house... working full time and look after husband and twins everyday.. My mum got to stay at home and keep the house beautiful, bake homemade food for us when we got home from school and have all the washing and housework up to date.. I work 8 to 10 hours a day on my feet in a hospitality job, my husband is a truck driver.. I come home and sit and have a cuppa for a bit but then it's 5:30 and need to start tea.. honestly I would love to stay home a bit more than I do.. But how can I when we are middle class... with the price of food and bills.. We slave for the dream everyday.
@HL-qv3yd I woke up early as I did before because my part-time work of 30 hours starts at 8, but finishing at 2 instead of 4,30 helps me to go more relax the rest of the day
I was a stay-at-home mother (but helped in my husband's business for free) and then had zero superannuation when we divorced. Financially it hit me hard, especially now that I am retired. So there's that.
We do not say "women who choose to stay home rather than work" ; WE SAY, WOMEN WHO CHOOSE NOT TO WORK OUTSIDE OF THE HOME. Second-wave feminism taught us among other things, to VALUE and appreciate the work of the homemaker because housework is HARD WORK! These women are free to make the choices they have made because of the feminist movement not in spite of it!
Fascinating! All I ever wanted growing up was to be a wife and mother...now that I'm divorced and have to provide...do it all...jugle everything...I wish I had someone to take care of all the domestic responsibilities! Merry- go-round versus roller coaster...there's gotta be a balance of both 😊
I think a reduced work week or flex days would allow women to work and also have more time home. Trying to work full-time and manage home and kids....so much harder. (I did it my whole life).
I think a lot of women are burnt out because we're working and STILL doing the vast majority of taking care of the kids and housework. Men came home after 8 hours and had to do nothing because the woman took care of everything else. We come home and still have hours of work. I'm a feminist and part of being a feminist is supporting other women. Even if they don't make the same choices we would. If these ladies really want to do this, good for them!
Nope, statistics say that men work longer hours and commute longer. He comes home from 9 hours of work +2 hours of commute. Learn your statistics, feminist. But they didn't teach you that in the feminist school, didn't they? I wonder why.
Cite those statistics. Or did misogynist school not teach you that? Citations aren't required to reason that women are working extended hours + commuting the same as men. Where are these jobs that give women fewer hours? Where are the roads that give women a shorter, faster route between home and work?
@@d.e.7467 Alright, my reply comment got deleted. So I will reply again. "According to U.S. census data, men spend an average of 41.0 hours per week at their jobs, while women work an average of 36.3 hours per week. " "The difference in average commute times in the US by gender - 17.4 minutes for women vs. 25.3 minutes for men - represents a 31.1% “gender commute time gap” in favor of women, who spend only 68.9 minutes commuting to work for every 100 minutes men spend commuting on average (same as the OECD average)" I assume I am not a misogynyst anymore.
@Antropovich According to this data with no date the average women in the US are not working full-time. I wonder why? They may be requesting less hours due to the kids so they can be at home when school is over with snacks and help them with their homework. They maybe taking off time during the work week due to the kids school events, medical appointments or illness. They might chose work closer to home due to the kids so they can easily drive to their school or extracurricular events. Usually women sacrifice their career for their kids and are punished for it by their employers by not being paid an equal wage to a man for the same position. Yes, you are a misogynist. For thinking that women are not sacrificing paid work hours or better job opportunities further from home due to their kids.
It is a struggle to be honest..I work all day and then I come to deal with the house and my husband..it makes me overwhelmed and exhausted...and we don't even have kids...
My bff always stayed home. Her house was immaculate ,her cooking amazing....and 3 kids one in a wheelchair. I asked her how she did itall,she said a dust cloth in her hand at all times, always everything tidy and in its place. she said she could make her house company ready in 45 minutes,put dinner on the stove and the rest of the day was hers!! She had it made!
I’d be curious to know if these men are paying into a super fund for their wives. 50% of these relationships will dissolve and the women will have no safety net.
In this day and age, most families can't afford to have one pay check or the home live is in poverty. Most mothers do raise their children and work, and have plenty of family life. I have friends who depended on their husbands salary until they divorced or he died, and then they can't cope. I think it is better to have work skills and at least a part-time job when the kids are at school if you are determined to be a housewife full time. Life never stays the same.
Remember, it is between a couple to work out and do whatever works for their household. If you are not in a relationship with them, you and your feminist opinion do not matter.
So true! It’s very difficult for women raising children and working full time as traditionally, most of the responsibility of child raising & household duties falls on the woman. I can’t imagine the challenges if the ‘work’ was a career…you would need to have lots of additional help with nanny/babysitter/house cleaner/ etc. It’s somewhat easier on the woman if she’s able to share the workload with the spouse, so that equal responsibility exists. I raised my child as a working single parent for the 1st 10 years and it was exhausting! It impacts the woman’s mental and physical health.
What the new generations don't know is what it was like being a 1950s housewife. Unless you were a strong outgoing woman it meant your world was very small, you were at the beck and call if everyone, your husband was God your children were your responsibility alone, your friend group was limited. The money was not enough for girls days out and country clubs. You had to handle the money you were allocated and that was not enough of a wage for everything expected of you. You are now given the choice of working if you wish it just that you wish for more than the 1950s women got. You don't see all the rights and freedoms we fought for because you weren't there. You now have all those rights plus the right to stay at home if you want to. Stop blaming us we fought for your freedoms Germaine gave you freedom of choice so get on your knees and say thank you.
How do you know all this; were you a housewife in the 1950s yourself? Also, statistically women are far less happy now than they were in the 1950s; why should they get down on their knees and thank the feminist movement for social changes that have just made them less happy?
@@alexandrapatterson3723 that's lovely it was worth the fight because of people like you. Hold your ground in everything you believe in that way you too are paying it forward🥰🌹
I looked after my own children until they started School and then found jobs to work around School hours. When they got older I started my own business. Was a win win for me.
I'm not going past the title of this video for the simple reason that being a housewife is one of the hardest jobs to do, involves being available and working 24/7 for no pay at all. If this is how these women value themselves, then I wish them luck with their choice of profession and hope they never get fired by their boss because they could end up on the street with nothing to show for it.
I’m a stay at home mum for 10yrs now. I love my job, taking care of my kids. I feel very fulfilled and competent in my job. I have taught my kids moral, values, social skill and real connections with other people. I have time to take them to their extra activities and also volunteer in school. The best part is we get to do lots of fun things with minimum screen time through out the week. I feel very lucky I dont have to compete and hassle in the outside world. Life is too short, do what you wanna do which then will make u feel fulfilled and happy in life.
Fortunately, my mom stayed at home with us in our early pre-school years. That is very important for children when they are very young, to have that stability and security and not be shuffled around in daycare or grandmas with 2 full-time working parents. It is understandable that not every household can have one parent at home with the little ones, but in most cases, it is doable for those first 5-6 years of the children and pays off for both children and parents.
But what do you think about this: Should a husband put aside a good amount to pay his wife a monthly salary for all the work she’s doing in the house & taking care of the kids, especially when there are no helpers, only the wife doing all the work, errands, meal prep, housekeeping, raising kids. Thoughts?
To each his own. I worked for 15 years by choice . My husband never forced me but 2 years ago, we paid down all our debt and I decided to stay home. I enjoy it it! My husband loves it and my 3 teenagers love that I am always available for them. I am the happiest I’ve been in years. I wish I did it sooner but everyone situations and choices are different ❤
Self worth comes from Being proud and good at what you do. No matter what it is.
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Well said
Absolutely true!
Amen!
I was a SAHM for 20 years and have zero regret. Focusing on raising my children was the best...and most important...thing I'll do. I went back to work when they were older and grown and now have a successful and lucrative career working in healthcare. Women can have it all...but doesn't have to be at the same time.
To each their own; we didn't come to this earth to have a shared experience; I applaud these women.
The sad thing is a lot of women are shitty “parents” so it’s be better to not have had kids of course or at least get a job so the kids are subjected to them less. Some also sound like Andrew Tate brainwashed them.
Exactly! The best part of humanity is the differences. Altho I can definitely do without some differences like the “evil” types but yea
Wow, this comment is so freeing, I love it!
Exactly! To each their own.
Well said!
As a person who worked non-stop for 10-some years, I never thought of giving up my career until I had my little girl. Unlike the companies that let you go in a heartbeat, you mean the world to your children when they are young. Being a SAHM rocks! 😊
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💪🏻 Kudos ! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I agree! I love the previous moments! I've kept up our life in journals and so glad!
Hit the nail on the head
same here. But I find comfort in knowing I can go back. I went back to work when she turned 2, but only for 20 h a week and it was perfect. I had time for all and stayed somewhat competitive on the work market.
Your child will remeber it as an adult too.
I'm a 37 year old American who got married at 21 and have been living the fairytale life of being a homemaker and homeschooling Mom of 5 for over 15 years. I LOVE it. I truly love maintaining my home, raising the kids and nurturing my husband and our marriage.
My life is fairly low stress, kids are happy and our marriage is awesome.
I'm glad to see the doors opening again to allow other women to enjoy this lifestyle too.
I’m a 39-year-old Jamaican woman, and that’s been my life since I got married at 19. I feel happier at home. We have one child, though. I saw this dynamic throughout my childhood growing up with my grandparents, parents and still with my generation of siblings and cousins, so it’s remarkable and refreshing to see. I’d say it’s common in the Caribbean and also on the continent.
This is my life! I’m blessed and grateful for having all the wonderful years at home with my family.
This isn’t only about being a good wife it’s about being treated as an equal. We made the choice after marrying for me to stay at home and be the home maker. I did want to make my husband feel like the most important man in the world to me, respect going both ways, leaning on each other and propping each other up when needed. I love being a housewife and when my role as a mum wasn’t needed anymore I did start my own career at 45. Married 46 years now and my hubby loves being looked after and I like being treated like a lady. As he treats me well like one. So it can be really good.
@@parishers6351If I am not mistaken this was an expectation due to society. During this time couples usually had several children. Financial independent working mothers were not widely socially accepted. Nowadays, if some women have a couple kids they are expected to perform paid work outside the home and all the unpaid work inside the house. This is due to their husband's mother's always doing the domestic duties and refusing to help their working wives. If their wives have several children like their mothers then it is acceptable for them to stay home and not work outside the home.
Pray for the best and prepare for the worst.
I am very happy married and I am very happy been a traditional housewife
I worked as a full time nurse. What I’ve learned is that you can be passionate and pour your heart out at work, but at the end of the day, you are dispensable. However, your family will forever be grateful for everything you’ve sacrificed for them. ❤
You can pour your heart out into your family, and then your husband can divorce you and get another. You are still disposable. Your kids will still need you, but you will have to have some type of income.
@Savannah2751 it's very rare that a husband leaves a genuinely good wife. husbands rarely ever even leave a bad wife. even in the west where divorce rates are high it's 80% of all divorces are initiated by the woman
the love of children is unconditional and men love the mother of their children deeply especially if she's a good woman. a family is a far safer bet than work in 99%, of cases when it comes to disposability
Work isn't all its cracked up to be. But I want you to know that I've been in hospital in a critical condition and i will always be grateful for people like you who kept me alive.
Uhh no... Just because you have kids and raise them, doesn't mean they are gonna appreciate it, respect you or ever even look after you one day in return. You are not promised that when you force someone else into existence who had no ability to have a say over it. There is literally tons of elderly people in care homes who's family are all grown up, living their own lives, some in other countries and barely even see them and the level of loneliness among the older population is quite high so this idea that parenthood will be more appreciative than the workforce is not true.
@@rosyvision but it is probably more personally fulfilling and pleasant.
This only works when it is done the way my parents did it. Mom knew where the money was and dad walked the crying baby up and down the hall to give her a break. True partners who respected and cared for each other.
I’ve thoroughly loved being a stay at home mum I raised 5 children took care of my elderly parents and couldn’t think of a better way of life ❤
see that amazing i’m so happy you’ve enjoyed it!! but to me i couldn’t think of anything worse.
❤🎉Amazing lady
@@Uma-cw6vo i don’t and don’t plan on it but just cause i don’t want to be a stay at home mum doesn’t mean i shouldn’t have kids.
I have had a wonderful life too - 5 children (now got grandchildren) - always then and now worked full time. I think what children want is happy parents and women and men are helped when they have choices.
What will you do when your kids leave home and parents die? Sounds like your life has been sacrificed to the service of others. What is YOUR life about - that part that has nothing whatever to do with others? Yikes!
I stayed home for 10 years with my children. It was never about being a wife it was because my husband made more money than I did at the time. Don't kid yourself it's hard work! I Also was responsible for every aspect of family life, I cooked and cleaned, I paid the bills, I ran our budget, I dealt with all appointments (even my husband's), I did homework with the kids and volunteered at their school and our church. My day started at 7 am and ended at 9 pm. No way could my husband pay someone enough for that job, and he knew it. Oh, and I gardened and grew most of our fresh produce in the summer and canned food for winter. Feminism is about choice women getting to chose what they want to be.
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That's the life my ex MIL lived before her husband left her and her three sons for his secretary. Really cliched! As admirable as your choice was the reality is you're also putting yourself in a vulnerable position financially if your marriage falls apart. My marriage was short and thankfully, there were no kids. My experience left me financially devastated and it took years to recover. My ex MIL lost her house and received just enough support from her ex to take care of the basics while her ex lived in a huge 4 bedroom 4 bathroom house. My ex MIL never bothered looking for a job as she had no skills outside of cooking and cleaning for 20 years. These days, women need to be financially independent and be able to support themselves if their marriage goes south. The largest percentage of people living in poverty are single mums who rarely receive child support. Just saying............
@bluebellrose8 I dont know where you live, but if my husband divorced me, I get half of every penny he made and half of all assets. He would also be supporting me for years. However, I also have a university education, so I doubt I would struggle. We both just felt it was best for the kids if they had someone at home when they were young. If I made more money it would have been him.
For those criticising it: you think it’s oppressive to stay home, take care of the kids and be provided for, but will happily be overworked and most times underpaid by a boss/company who would replace you the next day if you dropped dead? 😂
Exactly 😂
The point is not there... the point is how can you afford a home without a second salary in the household when interest rates are so high and the value of home keep skyrocketing because of immigration? Shoveling the financial burden to your spouse is financial and social irresponsibility.
@@evalangley3985 obviously it’s only for families who can afford to do this. It’s hard to support a family on a single income nowadays. But my point is that some people criticise couples who can afford to do this out of principle because they think it’s “oppressive” for the women.
I’m a proudly stayed home mom. I think that taking care of your children is a great opportunity in life that is priceless. It doesn't matter if you don't have enough money because at the end of the day knowing that your children are in a safe environment is a great reward.
@@dayofthemoon1 And it can be more cost-effective for moms to stay at home and not have all the childcare costs/second car/fast food expenses that can come with a 2nd person working
Good on these women they'll never regret the precious 'time' they gave their children, being that vital person supporting their children's well being, education and growth.
It's a full time career in itself.
Until their husbands leave them with nothing at 40 and they have to spend the next 25 years eking out a pittance at McDonald's.
@@allip4226Not every family is fucked up like this...
I would rather my husband leave me than be with a man who is a liar and a cheater. It’s not a death sentence to be single anymore, it’s not the early 19th century for crying out loud.
@@allip4226except for the fact that it’s women who leave men not the other way around. The lies women tell one another.
@@allip4226 Divorces have always been initiated mostly by women, and men usually get the short end of the stick in family courts, don't know where you got that from.
I’ve been a stay at home mom and mother of 5 for 30 years. I’m almost 50 now and absolutely love my life. I still have two kids at home, the youngest being 10. I can’t imagine going back to work now. Nor do I want to. I’m very fortunate. I have a wonderful hard working husband that has every evening and weekend off and we make a wonderful team. ♥️
Lucky Lady
I am so happy for you. I wish more women will live like this.
Same! We are blessed❤
Speaking as a lady in her 60s that had 4 children, I have seen the role of women in Australia change dramatically. There is nothing wrong with a woman working outside the home, as long as the home duties are shared EQUALLY with her partner ‘IF ‘ they are working as well. But what I have noticed in an overwhelming number of families, women are aspected to still do most or all of the so called women’s duties at home as well. Also why have children if you hand them over to strangers to look after? So it is still a man’s world, just look at who’s running and making the rules of the country!
Exactly!! I can't believe this isn't being commented more. If your partner cleans, runs errands and takes care of the kids exactly as much as you do, you can completely work outside the home and have a fulfilling family life. So many women would rather hide that they married a twat than admit that.
You are right.
I'm a single business woman, who never had children. However, I was raised in family of eight with a primarily "stay-at-home" Mom. But, I've seen loads of working Mom's in my over 38 year career, and I see the women are STILL handling the lion's share of the household responsibilities, including raising of the children and squiring them to their many recreational activities. I remember a young male professional who purposely stayed at the office late, so when he got home it was past his children's bed time. I knew exactly what he was doing - avoiding having to parent. He felt that his Wife's being a stay-at-home parent meant she handled ALL household responsibilities, including the raising of their children and everything household related, because he was brining home the bacon. I believe that if two people agree to become parents, they should share a balanced parenting relationship with their children.
I don’t think you can label all men who don’t do domestic chores as twats. For one thing, the wives sometimes are critical of the way men do housework and so that causes friction as well. Also, men are not at all good at multi-tasking. We can not remake the masculine tendencies anymore than we can the feminine ones. I think todays society is trying too hard to blur the sexes and this, in my mind, is a big mistake. There are many father’s who powerfully love their wives and children but have no propensity for homemaking. They simply express their love in different ways and help out in the ways that come most naturally to them.
@@virginiaboone9503 I agree! It’s unfair to generalize. Good points! 💯
My mother had to work as 2 wages were needed to pay bills and feed a family with 3 children.
Mum did all the housework and cooking and worked full-time.
Without her earning we would have been cold in winter without wood or a freezer full of food.
It wasn't a choice to work it was a necessity to pay the bills.
Its one thing to want to be a stay at home mom. Its another thing when your husband demands you to stay at home, or demands his dinner on the table. I have been happily married for 22 years to a wonderful man. He does NOT expect anything from me but appreciates all that I do. He also helps around the house and takes care of me as I take care of him. We are a Team!! And that is what marriage is all about. We cook together, we clean together. When I had to have my hips replaced and could no longer go up and down the stairs he took over all the laundry duties. I even suggested we move our washer and dryer upstairs so I can still do it but he said no that he will take care of it. I say if a woman wants to stay at home then she should if she wants to work then she should. If a man wants to be a stay at home dad hey more power to him. But everything should be a shared decision. I would never be ok with my husband giving me an allowance each week in the amount that his sees fit. What's his is mine and what's mine is his. But hey if these woman want a man to tell them how they can live their lives, more power to them. But in all honestly that couple probably isn't going to last. She is gonna get tired of his demanding ways.
So many raw feelings for me. I was born in 1986 in a conservative religious home in ca, raised with a traditional gender roles with a business-owner father, and a SAHM.
My sister and I were taught that men would love and appreciate the fact that we were learning to be housewives, and that we could cook and clean etc.
I expected to meet the kind of man that my sister did, and that my brother grew into: a husband who would support me if I stayed at home *or* decided to work full or part time.
Every man I’ve ever met since, has made me feel shame for ever even expecting that, and expecting that kind of joint, but different forces within the family. I’m expected to take much better care of myself than he ever would, stay fit and trim and healthy and beautiful and have my hair and nails done, raise the kids and make just as much as he does, with separate incomes.
I love my work and don’t want to stay home, but I would actually look up to and respect a man much more if he was willing to support me at home. It was easier to just be single because I can’t respect a man who wants me to do all the things a wife and mother does, AND work just like he does.
Honestly, it’s easier without a man like this. If I’m going to work, but also in heels and make up every day, and if I’m going to parent the same children, but also carry them, give birth them and nurse them, then what does he really offer?
If he wants me to do it all without him, I will. And I am.
I’m now happier than ever as a single mom with a demanding career, and raising my 5 year old son full-time alone by myself. The only thing a man would bring me right now is the added stress of a relationship, and the risk of upheaval to my son. If the relationship becomes strained, or he decided to leave or cheat, there would be a lot of repercussions for us.
Unless someone really had something to offer, our life is too peaceful right now without a man to make a change and take that risk.
If he has nothing to offer then he can kick rocks with his shoes off. I’m glad you are making a peaceful space for you and your bundle of joy.
I'm a single mom of a 15 year old and when I was married I had this life you describe, minus the high heels. I look good, didn't need to add that stress to please him. But, I was falling apart every day for 11 years so I divorced and mind my own business, no man around for 5 years. I think its a blessing, I even look younger. But, I don't blame women who are lucky and find good men. I think they deserve it and also their kids grow healthier with 2 parents. The condition is the parents are both healthy, which was not our cases. Good luck and take care!
A lot of men are greedy, they want a bang maid who pays the bills and never says anything. They dont see the value of domestic work and kids. That s why the birth rate is crashing. People can't do it alone or they burn out. Take care.
The ideal for many women is part time work 2-3 days a week.
If you are totally reliant on a man for money,housekeeping etc. What happens if marriage ends after 20 years?
How do you support yourself then?
when you believe that God exists, you wouldn't be thinking about having a bad future. A good woman could run a home and a business at home at the same time. ❤
Planning for a divorce may be a sign of a worldview problem. Why would two people who have been dedicating their lives to each other for 2 decades just break it off? My wife and I don't believe in divorce (except for abuse, abandonment, or adultery), so neither one of us has any backup plans, aside from life insurance. If I pass away, she has life insurance that will take care of her and the kids for 7 years of my salary. If she passes away, her life insurance will give me 3 years to adjust and make plans for launching the kids into adulthood. We co-own all of our assets and have no separate bank accounts. We live a traditional life, and it works. 27 years of marriage. 4 children. (2 are adults.) My wife has homeschooled all of them up to university. All three of my daughters want to have big families and homeschool their children. My son wants to marry a like-minded woman. This life can be lived without plan B. If your life has had turmoil, I wish you the best and hope you find God's richest blessings in your life.
Don’t do it. If you do, get a prenup. Financial abuse is real.
@ellenzdanovich4761 Is it a marriage or a merger/acquisition? Marry someone with the same worldview. If you aren't on the same page, don't marry.
Nobody ever thinks that divorce or widowhood could ever happen to them. If a woman has no skill, and finds herself divorced, abandoned, or widowed, then she's in for a difficult time.
I gave up my career for my child, I had offers of jobs well paid but they required long hours and a lot of responsibility. I chose to work part time in order to have some time for my son. I don’t know if that’s the best decision but my son needs me and so do I
As a woman. I gave up my life at age 39. I stopped working in hospitals permanently to stay home and look after the family. I'm now 46 and attending my Bachelor's Degree of Japanese course online in my free time 🇯🇵🎓😊👍
Nothing wrong with that. Some want to work; some want to make a home. Some do both. What’s great is every couple can choose what works for their family.
Yes, freedom is a beautiful thing. Feminism should never be about pushing women to act like men. It’s about giving women the same opportunities men have and the freedom to choose. For that matter, men have the freedom to choose, too. Some families, papa keeps the home while mama makes the money.
I am so thankful to be a homeschooling mom-I am convinced my kids benefit tremendously by the stability and strong sense of family.
I like having a choice. I worked but stopped when my daughter was born and I had the opportunity to stay at home for 5 years. I watched her first steps-we had no stress-we bonded. I would trade millions for this.
I've done it all, homemaker, part time worker, full time worker, home based business owner and now back to being a homemaker. It makes me so happy. As a parent to children with special needs I have been able to be available to help them through various things. Am I great homemaker no but I try my best and then I share on You Tube for others to see that we don't have to have it all perfect and I have a great little community x
I actually love being able to take care of my family. My husband is the main breadwinner and I clean houses part time. I didn’t work outside the home for 4 1/2 yrs when my son was born. It’s very rewarding. I don’t think it’s fair to assume we are giving up something bc we aren’t we are able to be there for our husbands and children we are helping mold a generation.
I'm a housewife and I'm so grateful for the ability to homeschool my kids and be there for my family all day. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
So many women entered the workforce because of horror stories of husbands running off with the secretary, and leaving their wives and children destitute. As long as men fulfill their duty as breadwinner, many women will be satisfied staying at home and being homemakers. The thing is, that teamwork must be there. Without that teamwork, women are forced to enter the workforce. Many do it out of fear rather than desire.
I agree until society (men) view women to have value outside of housework and child rearing, things won’t change. Women lose their value to men and in the workforce after the children are grown up. I hope they have true value in it and their partner does too.
Ummmm... sorry you're saying women wanted to work to keep men faithful? You are delusional.
Yes.
@shannonnero🤣🤣🤣 That same mindset has left the majority of western women in poverty. Women are the ones with the eviction rates soaring and packing homeless shelters. They don’t seem vulnerable at all.
@@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend Absolute facts
I work full time in the corporate, and I run a house, shared equal responsibility with my partner. I love my career, I am confident of who I am, and I am proud of what I have achieved. I get to travel on the weekend with my daughter, because I get to do whatever I want with the money I made. And I get to spoil my partner and my child. I applaud these women of what the give up outside of their home. I have a much crazier life, but I love it.
Being a stay at home mom is NOT old fashioned. It is a timeless art. And a privilege.
❤❤❤❤❤
I totally agree! When my first child was born, I just could not leave him and I started babysitting for a doctor's family, taking him with me. I did this as they had more children, and I had another child, at the time my husband was a student, so money was tight. I went to work part time when my third child was in school. I never regretted staying home with them but felt very blessed.
Only if the husband is a good provider and easy to live with. if he's not then life can be hell for the stay at home wife.
@@eileenwatt8283It's worse if the mom isn't easy to live with. Because at least the husband is gone half the day. The wife is always there 😂
Sometimes it’s not a choice for both parents to work, childcare costs a fortune
Indeed. The women in the article appear to have financial means to make the choice.
2:03 "I believe financially if u can afford it...."
it's literally as if ppl don't watch the video before commenting
@@vkdeen7570 This is from yr's ago, no?
@queenofthebutterflies5212 The video descriptions says so, but the same applies today as it did then
if u can afford it (even if it requires some lifestyle adjustment) its deffo something ppl shud consider
I had to quit my job because I made no profit after huge child care costs. Just cut way back on things.
I have always been a career woman. During lockdown I moved my office to my home and I never looked back. I love being a SAHM! Great for me, hubby, children, home management.....every part of life!
Yeh, now you can work 24-7.
I chose to be a housewife until my kids grow up and start school as I believe that the first years are very important, and the kids grow up so fast! The idea of me being there all the time gives them that safety net and I love it! We are not doing great financially but it's a sacrifice we agreed to make! I think it's healthier for the whole family to be a stay home mum until the kids are old enough to go to school at least! A working mum is a tough mum and I respect that alot! Shaming shouldn't be there in both choices! Each to there own honestly!!
Thank God you're not my mom lol. I don't need 100% of time from a mom and be in a poor family.
Oh wow the shaming !!! Sorry you had a bad experience with your mum that you don't wanna spend a lot of time with her😂
We are not poor ! We are not doing great there is a difference... If your mum taught you proper English 😂
Finally some sense in the world. Glad to see there's some woman who don't think this is oppressive.
It is oppressive to work at home and at a job. I would love to be a housewife but I am old and kids are old. Kids need a full-time caregiver actually
@@lilianasaba9846 I agree, I believe woman do one or the other and not both unless they need to eg saving up for a house in this day and age etc. Other than that I think being a full time house wife is nothing short of goodness.
@@2ru2pacFan plenty of goodness. When we are mothers and have full-time office jobs our family lives suffer. We end up with societal breakdown. We get so depleted. It's very rewarding being a full-time mother. You are actually present
contentment is what this earth needs. the only problem is the social media showing of too much making women worry for the future 🤦♀️
@@lilianasaba9846 we don't all work in offices, but. I work in aged care as a Leisure & Lifestyle co-ordinator.
Badly worded headline, rather stay home than work?! Staying home looking after the cooking, cleaning, looking after the children, doing the laundry, shopping, etc., that is work!
I was a very happy stay at home mum of 4 until I became chronically ill, my husband was used to being waited on and is now married to a healthy woman who can look after him, so much for 'in sickeness and in health'
That's my fear. So I would;'nt be a stay at home mom. I have no regrets.
This is fabulous. Managing and operating a household is a ton of work.
Yes.🤯
This is wonderful and I fully support these women!!! My sister rushes around works so hard to provide for her daughters. Picks them up from aftercare (after school program) at 5:30pm in the car after work, her husband commutes by train. She is so tired at the end of the day and so are her girls who have been at school since 8:15am!!!! The three of them burst in the door at home, her husband not far behind from the train station. One parent does bath time, the other makes dinner. They sit the kids down to eat, my sister grabbing a bite in between making lunches for the next day and putting on a load of laundry. They each read a couple of books to each child before bed and tuck them in. Downstairs the parents go to clean up from dinner, watch 30 mins of TV, fold laundry and take the dog for a walk before they collapse into bed. And then the best part? You get to wake up at 6:15am and do it all over again the next day. This whole routine has aged my sister and made her stressed out and not present in her daily life!!! Pretty much a life of hell. When does one have time to see their friends, exercise, grocery shop etc? What a nightmare. The world should go back to how things were in the 80's. Much better life balance. Everyone was happier.
Your sisters life is currently hectic but solutions are possible.
The problem is the family's commute not being a working mom. Depending on their careers and finances a job change or moving could solve it.
After care programs are targeted to the age of the children. They can include naps and snacks if needed. It is no different then extra curricular activities such as sports or music the children might choose to attend in the future.
Meal prepping on the weekend will shorten cooking and clean up time during the week. When the kids are old enough they can help with dinner too. Waiting until the weekend to do laundry will free up time to unwind in the evening. Until the kids are old enough to help. Outsourcing the dogwalking to a neighbor or friend during the week will free up quality time for the couple. Until the kids are old enough to walk the family pet.
Due to the age of the children. Socializing, exercising, grocery shopping will most likely be done on the weekends as a family affair. Unless they have access to lots of relatives and friends to watch the kids.
Personally I would choose to be a working mother. My aunt was married to millionaire. She was a stay at home wife. Stay at home mother of 5. They hired a domestic helper.
Everything was great until they divorced. She had to return to the work force. Get an mentally and physically demanding entry level job because she had limited education and experience. Then work until she was old enough to claim government pension.
She can't afford to live on her own. Lives with a child that creates grey hair faster than she can colour them. There is no domestic helper or accustomed luxuries. The rest of the children are scattered in the wind going about their own lives and families. Yes they visit when they can but not often enough. She is suffering with arthritis now. I do not believe any of them will step up to become her full time caregiver. She most likely will be placed in a home.
Raise your kids to have back up plans. I wouldn't want any of my kids ending up like their great aunt.
And the poor dog is lonely all day. Cruel.
She goes to daycare with her other doggie friends! Gets picked up at 10am, walked, daycare and then brought home at 5pm!@@genxx2724
I loved and still love being a housewife and stay at home mom. I feel I have given my family the best gift a woman can give her family.
I don't have a mom but I have a big sister who is a stay-at-home mom and it's really nice to have her home-cooking meals. I get to eat fresh meals after I get home from work all thanks to her. So I was thinking like, " Is what it is like to have a mother?" Our mom died when we were very young.
Ya and the hubby on the couch with the remote, while she prances with cleaning LMAO, he would be out the door ASAP.
Feminism is about choice. Don’t let anyone pressure you as to what kind of lifestyle you want. If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, that’s your choice. If you want a career from or away the home, that’s your choice. Don’t let people that don’t live your life tell you what life you should be living. Do what’s best and needed for you and your family. Not everything is wrapped up neatly. Matters such as this should be discussed about with your partner.
raising my children, being a homemaker and wife have been the joy of my life. i never felt the tug to join the workforce and serve strangers to being at home. my children are grown and one has gone to heaven now. my husband and I look forward to his retirement in a few years and spending more time together.
I want people to do whatever they want to do so long as they are really happy. Honestly, having a loving attentive stay at home mom (or dad) could be a beautiful gift to their children. It gives them a sense of comfort and security. Dinner together at the table. If mom stays at home, it is also work and its her contribution...the one working outside the home has their contribution. Neither is more important but both are essential.
Anyone heard of the Cinderella Complex? The Four D’s? Death, divorce desertion and dementia. Stay home if you will and don’t say anyone didn’t warn you.
Why do so many women think their only 2 choices are care for the home or work and care for the home? How about both parents work and both care for the home? Men are capable of sharing home and child responsibilities.
I love this! I want this too. Once I have children, I want ditch my corporate executive position and serve my family!
My husband stayed home and I worked for the 1st 4 years of my 2 babies and then we both worked. I am now retired and my husband workers.
My 2 sons are very mature and going to collage.
Staying home is so difficult and I admire these woman that want to stay home and do all that work.
Crazy! With the divorce rate what it is, a woman without a career is putting herself at serious risk of being abandoned with little ability to earn in mid- or later life. Economic dependence deprives women of options in cases of domestic violence, etc. Also, careers provide a valuable opportunity for self-actualization.
Being a housewife is a job in a lot of ways.....cooking, washing dishes,ceaning up the house...laundry and helping the kids doing thieir homework
It would be nice to have a follow up to this story since it's been 14 years!
I have worked all my life. I'm 60 and still working. I missed so many things and I regret it now.
Being a mother is the most important and daunting job in the world..Its highly regarded position in many other cultures and countries. 🤱👨👩👧👦👶🤗💖
As a career woman, who wouldn’t want it any other way, I cheer all the ladies who make this choice, the choice to be a full-time mother, on. I am not a mother. Had I been a mother I might have made a different choice.
They are so right! Totally agree! You CAN'T have it all and that's ok! Whoever tells you that staying home and taking care of your children and home is "easy" is lying. If you do it right and actually put the time and care into it that this important job deserves, it's a lot of work. They studied this and found out that if you were to outsource all of the domestic and childcare labor it would come to about $200,000 a year! What about when your kids grow up? Invest in your community! Visit the sick and elderly, make meals for new moms, train to become a doula or midwife, teach birthing or childrearing classes, babysit so a mom can get some time to herself. If we had empty-nest women investing in their communities we wouldn't need so much charity or government intervention!
You CAN have it all if your partner has a good job, ACTUALLY cleans the house as well and honestly takes on 50% of the child care. Stop making excuses for marrying the wrong man.
@@GoblinsAreAGirlsBestFriend Why would I WANT a man who wants to do those things? I picked my husband BECAUSE he is traditional, a provider, a good leader, a man I respect more than anyone I know, and a man who would support me staying home to take care of our home and kids. A man who wanted to do everything 50/50 would be the wrong man. I would be unhappy with a man like that. Most women would. Most men would also be unhappy to be with a woman wanting a 50/50 arrangement because the genders are not made to be 50/50. We're made to be 100/100, each giving their all to their gender unique role in life and the relationship.
I so agree. I so agree. Make it easy for decent couples who cannot have kids to adopt. Provide free resources so infertile couples can get surrogates. We really need to improve the way we live & not be all about money.
@@LizzyTwifehomemaker I agree. God didn't even make us to go 50/50 with a man. Only in the West we live like this. In other parts of the world, men are happy to be providers as long as their wives respect them. I want to respect my man. I want to take care of him. I want him to be above me & lead me. It's the feminist movement that spoiled everything for us. Men now hate responsibility. If I can go to work & respect my boss, work hard for him & let him lead me, why wouldn't I want to do that for my husband? I will gladly be a stay at home wife.
My concern with being a housewife is once the kids grow up and leave home, what do you have in life? It wouldn’t be easy getting back into the work force if you decide to after taking off 16 plus years.
And the complete loss of identity when the people you looked after for so many years don't need you anymore.
You are already in the workforce if you are bringing up children. It’s a 24 hour, unacknowledged, full-time job. It IS work. It’s not ‘taking off’ 16 plus years!
@@MariTeabag-lf1lycome on you know what they mean. Try getting a good job outside the house after being a stay-at-home mom for years... it's nearly impossible.
Its sad if you just consider a worker or a mother, as a woman there is much more to me than just those 2 things and when you are done raising your children you have your life ahead of you to learn, do or be whatever you want.
So you don't stay home & bond with your child for 18 years.... because you're afraid of what MIGHT happen afterward??? (No mother thinks like. A mother puts the needs of their child first.)
The danger is when your husband has worked up a good pension or savings account and he leaves you when you're older. Unfortunately countries like Australia are super backwards when it comes to financial equality.
Then there should be law to not breaking apart family easily
As this story is 14 years old.. I’d love to know what the long term outcomes have been. Are they still at home? Did they eventually go back to work?
Yes I would definitely like to know how things are going in their life now in 2023🤔because so much has changed since 2009!🤦♀️😱
Omg, I didn’t realize the story was 14 yo! I assumed that since it was posted a few days ago that it’s a new story.
I wld love an update on them too! I hope their husbands treated them with respect and pitched in so they didn’t burn out. Being a sahm is exhausting.
My mom went nuts as a stay at home mom. She took it out on her kids unfortunately.
Young domestic stay at home moms will enjoy it for awhile. My 87 year old mom who was a stay at home wife always told me not to make the same mistake she did. Her only regret was not being self sufficient and having to depend on my dad for everything.
Im a housewife with a small stay at home business and this is where i come from.
I use to work, and it was horrible trying to raise my first daughter and work. Then during a meeting i mentioned an issue and management literally just responded with "well we can always just find new staff" (cue three years later and theres a workers shortage in that sector). But it really hit hard. I resigned after i attempted to reschedule my shifts so i could take my daughter to daycare. My request wasnt even acknowledged, literally my emails were ignored and anytime i verbally brought it up it was just "we will talk about it later". But then i was also in trouble for running late for work because i couldnt get my daughter ready on time.
I even remember being pregnant and a manager telling me she had gone back to work just a week after giving birth trying to discourage me from taking my full leave. Its like almost youre not allowed to have kids.
*Edit, Im from Australia*
Apparently, the United States doesn't offer maternity leave at all. If you're lucky, you might get 2 weeks paid leave from the company you're with. Imagine dropping off a newborn at daycare? Women are discriminated in terms of the gender pay gap and penalized when they have children and this occurs globally. This might begin to change as there appears to be a growing epidemic called "quiet quitting!"
@bluebellrose8
Yup, this is how they are towards family in general..and when I was married, I would not be hired bc of that...
As a single mom now, I'm less hireable bc they know single moms have so many responsibilities and less support, so they see, oh, this person is going to call off, etc.
They act like they're doing you a favor by giving you a job....or charity case...but never actually take you seriously bc of you not having an open schedule
I was fired once because I took on full responsibility of my daughter and it was an emergency I didn't have any other choice but to stay home with her, but I tried to reschedule my shifts and say hey can I do evening instead when I have family home? I thought they'd understand bc it was an emergency....nope.
I literally had no other choice but to quit bc I had Noone to watch my daughter and was going through a divorce and my ex husband was abusive.
Rather stay home than “Work”?!? A Mom that is fully responsible for running the home ie. raising the children, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. WORKS 24/7! If a kid is up yakking at 3am you think the Dad’s gonna get up with them- GUESS AGAIN!
She’ll have to also do the grocery shopping, take the kids to appts., collect them from school, etc.
P.S. the Husband doles out the money whilst the wife has no opinion on how much- NO THANK YOU❗️😖❗️
Good for you ! Your pets is all you need !!
My brother is a gay man with a Husband and they have 2 little girls. If one of the children is ever unwell (which is rare) then my brother wouldn't hesitate to be up during the night - because he is a registered nurse as well as their Dad. However, his Husband would also be up if necessary. Not all men shy away from domestic duties.
@@belindathomas7430 Your brother and BIL sound like wonderful parents but I was referring to the stereotypical 1950’s housewife as described in the vid where the Mother figure was expected TO DO IT ALL. 🙂
@@arlynpage7491 Yea, fair point.
I found it a ''blessing'' to be at home - for my child!
Worked for some, not for all. I worked, then stopped when I married be had a child, after 5 years decided enough with the housework, baking lessons, crafting, tea dates, trolling malls, scrubbing the house and buying all sorts of organizing things, travel etc till one I got tired of all of it. I went back to work, took lessons, changed jobs all while juggling being a mom taking my child to sports and music lessons, school picnics what have you. It’s tiring, stressful yeah but I was happier to have my own career with the full support and understanding of my husband and my son who equally thrived at school. So to each her own. I realized being a housewife was not for me in fact I developed depression when I stayed at home.
It is not wrong to be a housewife by choice. I am quite feminist. It would not suit me. It is a completely valid and legitimate choice for women, who are sacrificing careers and incomes for their families.
It is hard to do it all literally. Feminism made a mistake by assuming women would do it all in the home and at work, thereby forcing women to have full-time careers, a second shift of housework, cooking, cleaning, and childrearing, pleasing the husband, looking after husbands and parents, gardening, working out one hour a day, looking like a supermodel, having outside interests such as yoga, guitar, dinner parties, etc; basically, requiring everything of women while not requiring anything of men.
Men need to up the ante at home and women need to hold them to higher standards; no more of this 'saving' or 'fixing' some loser to make him into an ideal man. If women want careers, they will need the father's support and outside help in the home.
Basically, society and feminism dumped it all on women to do and expected perfection, kind of like what Betty Friedan wrote about in The Feminine Mystique. Today's superwoman somehow is just another version of that.
I don't believe there is anything wrong with being a "Stay-At-Home Parent", however I think there is something to be said about maintaining financial independence (especially in situations where domestic violence is a reality for many women - the isolation from their social support system). Also, the "frazzled mom" that they kept referring to stems from the expectations of women having to "do it all". This is why you have a partner, so they can pitch in with shared responsibilities therefore you're not over-extended!
Absolutely 👍
Most women who work outside the house do the lion's share of everything at home too, so I don't blame them for not wanting to work full time outside the home and an almost full time job at home too.
I did it for 17 yrs, my children needed me, their dad was a very busy doctor, then I went back to my career. I loved being with my kids all the time and sharing their experiences. We always had dinner together, I alwways cooked dinner, clothing done, house in order, kids to their activities, weekends, more kid activities church and friends, i wouldnt trade it.
No thanks! The best story I have is a lady I chatted briefly with at the laundromat. She told me her husband had died recently. She must have been about 60. I said 'Sorry about your loss!" She replied "Don't be, I'm so happy! My life is a lot less work now!" Never stay home and depend on a man financially. Unless you can work from home and have your own work/life balance. Anything can happen in life whether it's Divorce or Death. It can be financially devastating to start again as a single woman with/without dependents. Not just that but women always end up doing most of the housework in addition to working. So, it's either you both decide what kind of lifestyle you want to have before setting up your house. Both work, kids, cleaning lady and nanny or daycare. Or both work and equally shared housework and childcare? Women should set an example to their daughters and sons to be financially independent and not be a doormat for others.
NEVER depend on anyone else financially.
Agreed!!!@@jancyking582
I don't understand how staying home equates to being a doormat.
@@stayathomemarine Did you not read the previous comments?
Glad this is being shown because it is so important for children
Truly, this is the most satisfying feeling in the world to be a woman who is a good mom and can take care of the house without being overstressed. There are yet many things you can do as hobby even from home if you have time. We don't need to do what others can do. What a woman can do in the house, no one else can do.
I've been a sahm for many, many years. It's the hardest job you will ever love !!! I was widowed several years ago and thankfully, continued to be a sahm, thanks to my late husband and I planning for the future.
Ladies choose your own path. If you do choose to be a housewife you still need to know the ins and outs of the family finances.
Cooking and cleaning comes with obedience… that role has a dark history
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but here's something to think about: While this sounds great on the surface, what happens when their husband decides he no longer wants to be married, or wants to sleep with someone else, and these women are now stuck financially with a man who promised them the world and didn't deliver? Unfortunately that happened a lot in the 50's. It's sad to think about, but very much a reality. If you can't take care of yourself, then you're stuck in a miserable marriage, and to me, that sounds like the worst kind of hell. I'll stick with my career, it not only brings me joy and incredible friendships, it also brings freedom and independence.
These women don't understand what the 50s & 60s were truly like. Domestic abuse was classed as a husband just exercising his duty to keep the wife in her place. Almost the only women in the workforce were the young unmarried women......looking to catch a man. Marital affairs were the norm for husbands and the wife was to just put up with it. Women were second class citizens with little personal freedoms, or rights.
I saw my mother treated horribly and could never forgive my father.
Not to mention that the wife didn’t have credit in her name. My mother fought hard to ensure that she had a credit card separate from my dad because she knew how important it was to establish credit. Always have an emergency plan.
After working a corporate gig for half my life, I get it. Work is just money. There is nothing else there. Work won't love you. And if you get your value from work, well...thats great. But investing in relationships and family is worth it. It works for everyone.
I think it's so extremely important to have a mother at home... my mom raised us while having the pressure of a full time job as a teacher..she really needed more time at home and the current way schools are set up, it isn't like it was when I was a kid in the nineties..we walked home from school..and sometimes had to be dropped off two hours early or stay an hour late bc my parents were busy at work.. Saturday and Sunday wasn't about quality time it was about chores.
But bc my mom was a teacher, and she spent a lot of time during summer taking us on adventures that were educational, and it was nice for her to have her own money.
I'm all for people being stay at home moms, but the reality is not everyone can afford that. My grandma took care of her kids and began her own business out of her home and it grew into a huge business where she employed 30 to 40 women, all sewing drapes. I think it's wonderful for a woman to have a job, but also the job atmosphere....except Europe is not family oriented. In CzechRepublic, both the husband and wife can be at home with the baby and get paid family leave time. That's just one example..western society is highly developed but not supportive of families.
School systems are not trustworthy with our children, and also act like they own our kids or know them better than us or love them more... this has been my experience and it is harmful and disrespectful. For elementary school students, you're bound to their school schedule and there's limited space in the school system for after school care and daycare costs are literally the same amount of money as a full time income..so that being said. I don't see why any mother in this day and age would stay fully employed..
@KenziBenzi WOW!!!! Very very very well said. Thank you for your thoughts on this.
I have felt so overwhelmed trying to keep house... working full time and look after husband and twins everyday.. My mum got to stay at home and keep the house beautiful, bake homemade food for us when we got home from school and have all the washing and housework up to date.. I work 8 to 10 hours a day on my feet in a hospitality job, my husband is a truck driver.. I come home and sit and have a cuppa for a bit but then it's 5:30 and need to start tea.. honestly I would love to stay home a bit more than I do.. But how can I when we are middle class... with the price of food and bills.. We slave for the dream everyday.
since I had my kids I do not work full-time anymore and I am loving it. I like to be at home, as much as to be out, and I am proud of it.
Of course you would, who wouldn't, don't have to get up early and go to work, lucky woman found nice ride.
@HL-qv3yd I woke up early as I did before because my part-time work of 30 hours starts at 8, but finishing at 2 instead of 4,30 helps me to go more relax the rest of the day
I was a stay-at-home mother (but helped in my husband's business for free) and then had zero superannuation when we divorced. Financially it hit me hard, especially now that I am retired. So there's that.
if husband and wife both work there needs to be equal distribution of labour in the home
This works great as long as there's no divorce.
We do not say "women who choose to stay home rather than work" ; WE SAY, WOMEN WHO CHOOSE NOT TO WORK OUTSIDE OF THE HOME. Second-wave feminism taught us among other things, to VALUE and appreciate the work of the homemaker because housework is HARD WORK! These women are free to make the choices they have made because of the feminist movement not in spite of it!
respect their choice
Fascinating! All I ever wanted growing up was to be a wife and mother...now that I'm divorced and have to provide...do it all...jugle everything...I wish I had someone to take care of all the domestic responsibilities! Merry- go-round versus roller coaster...there's gotta be a balance of both 😊
This is very important I think if women do this it will help heal our society
I think a reduced work week or flex days would allow women to work and also have more time home. Trying to work full-time and manage home and kids....so much harder. (I did it my whole life).
Women are already working full-time if they are at home with children, That IS work, just an unpaid, unacknowledged profession.
@@MariTeabag-lf1ly👍❤️👍❤️
I think a lot of women are burnt out because we're working and STILL doing the vast majority of taking care of the kids and housework. Men came home after 8 hours and had to do nothing because the woman took care of everything else. We come home and still have hours of work. I'm a feminist and part of being a feminist is supporting other women. Even if they don't make the same choices we would.
If these ladies really want to do this, good for them!
Nope, statistics say that men work longer hours and commute longer. He comes home from 9 hours of work +2 hours of commute.
Learn your statistics, feminist. But they didn't teach you that in the feminist school, didn't they? I wonder why.
Cite those statistics. Or did misogynist school not teach you that? Citations aren't required to reason that women are working extended hours + commuting the same as men. Where are these jobs that give women fewer hours? Where are the roads that give women a shorter, faster route between home and work?
@@d.e.7467 Alright, my reply comment got deleted. So I will reply again.
"According to U.S. census data, men spend an average of 41.0 hours per week at their jobs, while women work an average of 36.3 hours per week. "
"The difference in average commute times in the US by gender - 17.4 minutes for women vs. 25.3 minutes for men - represents a 31.1% “gender commute time gap” in favor of women, who spend only 68.9 minutes commuting to work for every 100 minutes men spend commuting on average (same as the OECD average)"
I assume I am not a misogynyst anymore.
@@d.e.7467 Hey? I answered your question. You didnt say I was wrong, you didn't say I was right. What gives?
@Antropovich
According to this data with no date the average women in the US are not working full-time.
I wonder why?
They may be requesting less hours due to the kids so they can be at home when school is over with snacks and help them with their homework. They maybe taking off time during the work week due to the kids school events, medical appointments or illness.
They might chose work closer to home due to the kids so they can easily drive to their school or extracurricular events.
Usually women sacrifice their career for their kids and are punished for it by their employers by not being paid an equal wage to a man for the same position.
Yes, you are a misogynist.
For thinking that women are not sacrificing paid work hours or better job opportunities further from home due to their kids.
It is a struggle to be honest..I work all day and then I come to deal with the house and my husband..it makes me overwhelmed and exhausted...and we don't even have kids...
My bff always stayed home. Her house was immaculate ,her cooking amazing....and 3 kids one in a wheelchair. I asked her how she did itall,she said a dust cloth in her hand at all times, always everything tidy and in its place. she said she could make her house company ready in 45 minutes,put dinner on the stove and the rest of the day was hers!! She had it made!
I’d be curious to know if these men are paying into a super fund for their wives. 50% of these relationships will dissolve and the women will have no safety net.
In this day and age, most families can't afford to have one pay check or the home live is in poverty. Most mothers do raise their children and work, and have plenty of family life. I have friends who depended on their husbands salary until they divorced or he died, and then they can't cope. I think it is better to have work skills and at least a part-time job when the kids are at school if you are determined to be a housewife full time. Life never stays the same.
Women who can be a stay-at-home mom are truly blessed.
Remember, it is between a couple to work out and do whatever works for their household. If you are not in a relationship with them, you and your feminist opinion do not matter.
So true! It’s very difficult for women raising children and working full time as traditionally, most of the responsibility of child raising & household duties falls on the woman. I can’t imagine the challenges if the ‘work’ was a career…you would need to have lots of additional help with nanny/babysitter/house cleaner/ etc. It’s somewhat easier on the woman if she’s able to share the workload with the spouse, so that equal responsibility exists. I raised my child as a working single parent for the 1st 10 years and it was exhausting! It impacts the woman’s mental and physical health.
If I could do it all again I would stay home. It has absolutely destroyed me having to work full time plus do all the housewives tasks when I get home
What the new generations don't know is what it was like being a 1950s housewife. Unless you were a strong outgoing woman it meant your world was very small, you were at the beck and call if everyone, your husband was God your children were your responsibility alone, your friend group was limited. The money was not enough for girls days out and country clubs. You had to handle the money you were allocated and that was not enough of a wage for everything expected of you. You are now given the choice of working if you wish it just that you wish for more than the 1950s women got. You don't see all the rights and freedoms we fought for because you weren't there. You now have all those rights plus the right to stay at home if you want to. Stop blaming us we fought for your freedoms Germaine gave you freedom of choice so get on your knees and say thank you.
Very well put - I am a young woman and I feel indebted and grateful to women like you.
How do you know all this; were you a housewife in the 1950s yourself? Also, statistically women are far less happy now than they were in the 1950s; why should they get down on their knees and thank the feminist movement for social changes that have just made them less happy?
@@alexandrapatterson3723 that's lovely it was worth the fight because of people like you. Hold your ground in everything you believe in that way you too are paying it forward🥰🌹
Exactly!!!
I looked after my own children until they started School and then found jobs to work around School hours. When they got older I started my own business. Was a win win for me.
I'm not going past the title of this video for the simple reason that being a housewife is one of the hardest jobs to do, involves being available and working 24/7 for no pay at all. If this is how these women value themselves, then I wish them luck with their choice of profession and hope they never get fired by their boss because they could end up on the street with nothing to show for it.
Well said!👏
Agreed!
I’m a stay at home mum for 10yrs now. I love my job, taking care of my kids. I feel very fulfilled and competent in my job. I have taught my kids moral, values, social skill and real connections with other people. I have time to take them to their extra activities and also volunteer in school. The best part is we get to do lots of fun things with minimum screen time through out the week. I feel very lucky I dont have to compete and hassle in the outside world. Life is too short, do what you wanna do which then will make u feel fulfilled and happy in life.
Just remember to schedule a little me-time (spa, hanging with girlfriends, etc.) away from kids and hubby: as often as possible. 🦋
Fortunately, my mom stayed at home with us in our early pre-school years. That is very important for children when they are very young, to have that stability and security and not be shuffled around in daycare or grandmas with 2 full-time working parents. It is understandable that not every household can have one parent at home with the little ones, but in most cases, it is doable for those first 5-6 years of the children and pays off for both children and parents.
But what do you think about this: Should a husband put aside a good amount to pay his wife a monthly salary for all the work she’s doing in the house & taking care of the kids, especially when there are no helpers, only the wife doing all the work, errands, meal prep, housekeeping, raising kids. Thoughts?
Definitely should be a stipend for the wife just as a backup plan if the relationship should not last so that she’d have something to fall back on
To each his own. I worked for 15 years by choice . My husband never forced me but 2 years ago, we paid down all our debt and I decided to stay home. I enjoy it it! My husband loves it and my 3 teenagers love that I am always available for them. I am the happiest I’ve been in years. I wish I did it sooner but everyone situations and choices are different ❤