Kina Grannis - Light (Music Video + IVF Journey)
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- Опубліковано 19 жов 2021
- Stream on Spotify: spoti.fi/3a4QW57
Download/Stream the new album! ffm.to/hardtobehuman
Join KG Records: kgrecords.com
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before starting ivf, the idea of it was crushing to me. i deeply wanted to believe that it would be possible for us to conceive naturally, and involving modern medicine felt cold and sterile and somehow less magical. but as time went on, my heart broke one too many times, and eventually i knew i was ready. i also knew if we were going to take this path, the last thing i wanted was to feel like a victim. as someone surrounded by friends and family getting pregnant with ease (and as someone with a needle phobia!), this was easier said than done.
but life's circumstances ended up being my greatest teachers (as per usual), and after a lot of tears and processing, i began to embrace my path. we emptied out the room we'd hoped might become a nursery one day and created a sacred place for my daily injections. each day, before i gave myself 3-4 shots, we sat, lit a candle, put on some music, said some words of intention, and meditated over my syringes to try and infuse them with as much love as possible. what i feared would be cold and sterile became one of the most love-filled and sacred experiences of my life, and how we ended up bringing our daughter into the world now feels like the most meaningful and powerful way we could have done it.
the footage used in this music video is from our third ivf egg retrieval, which (like most of ivf) was an emotional roller coaster. after my daily blood draw and scan, we would walk in the woods and try to talk ourselves back to being whole. every day a new worry or fear would arise, and we would spend the next many hours trying to remind ourselves to surrender, to keep open, to keep learning, to keep looking for the love that was still in our lives. the hardest part was working to believe that if at the end of all of this there still was no baby--we would still find joy, we would still create meaning and purpose in our lives, and we would still, ultimately, eventually, be okay. though that headspace was tricky to find and trickier to stay in, there was so much beauty in accessing that delicate little place where the light lives, a place that's always there for us. touching that spot is what this song, "light", is about.
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Light Lyrics
I found a light inside inside me
That’s burning even in the rain
And even when I’m sighing
I know that somehow I’m okay
I found a light, I found a light
Growing in the space between
There is no word to claim it
And thinking only makes it gray
And only in this silence
Have I began to see the way
I found a light, I found a light
Growing in the space between
Just close your eyes, just close your eyes
feel it underneath what’s seen
When we were young we had it
We were a part of everything
And maybe it’s not lost
And maybe this is all a dream
We had it all, we have it
We had it all, we have it
I found a light, I found a light
Growing in the space between
Just close your eyes, just close your eyes
Feel it underneath what’s seen
We had it all, we have it
We had it all, we have it
i wrote a bit behind my song "light" and my infertility/IVF journey in the video description
😘
Im pregnant after going through rape and i dont want the baby . i dont know what to do
💝🤰🎶✴️
😇🥺✨✨
Congratulations on your soon to be baby. I know the struggle of infertility.
I am a Korean man. Not good at writing in English. plz understand me. Last year I heard ur songs first. I was suffering and crying
a lot in my bedroom at that time. But,
Whenever I heard ur songs, I could get my power to live and share many friends.
Thanks a~~~~~l~~~ot ~~~ to give me
a lot of energy. Cheer up and be happy.
I’m tearing up. So happy for you and Jesse. Thank you for sharing this little peek inside what was surely a much more difficult and challenging journey. You are so strong and Jesse is such a loving husband. Cannot wait to meet your miracle soon.
phil, thank you so much, friend ♥️😭🙏🏻 miss and love you and can’t believe our little bbs are coming so soon!!! sending you three so much love!
🦋🌾🌿😘💜🌹👍🏼
series with Kina please.
@KinaGrannis Off topic but I registered for the bone marrow registry to help your Mom. Hope she gets better. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Kina,
I just re-discovered your channel after 14years... yeah, it's been a while. You were the very first music I added in my "music playlist" on youtube. Today I wanted to clean this playlist a bit (there's a loooot of stuff I don't listen to anymore). So, I ended at the bottom of the playlist with your song and remembered all these nights having trouble sleeping, putting your soothing voice to help me relax. Last time I heard this song I must've been ~17, in the middle of a rough time... Now I'm 27, doing fine and I can smile while hearing your voice again. Of course you can imagine my shock when I saw you were having a baby! But hey, again, 14/10years later... So congratulations on your album AND kid, and thanks again for the help you didn't realised you were giving years ago!
Take Care
This baby is so loved already 🥺 you both deserve the world and more
My thoughts exactly
You and Jesse are so wonderful together! I don’t think there is a more perfect-for-each-other pairing of people out there. You can see the love you each have for each other, and I love you both as well.
For a fan who did not know about your fertility journey, it was very satisfying to see the album at the end with you preggers.
oh Kina..
Kina......
Kina Grannis I hope your heart is ok
ugh
sending love
I love this. More specifically, I love how Jesse films your face expression and not the needle poking your body. Makes it so real and human. Your commitment to this new life you’re bringing into the world is inspiring. Thank you for sharing such an important part of it with us. ❤️
Rafaela, there must be some footage of the injection site. But the clips selected are more suited for the song.
Without prying where we don’t belong, would love to hear the back story of the paper heart you were holding near the end. We were all watching truly deep emotion. Never had such an outside looking in moment.
sending love Kina hold your heart and breathe in deep and think of the peace you might have right now anything to be thankful for and heal. let that feeling flow dont try to block it just give thanks to the Gracious who made you so beautiful, kind and lovely.
I listened to your music since i was about 24, and then i stopped for a while, then i remember this song and it took me here. Again
I’ve been listening to your music since I was 13. I’m almost 25 now and I can’t believe I’ve been through most of my life with your voice in the background. Through accomplishments and loss, through heartbreak and true love. There is a Kina song for every heartache and heart race. My husband and I are finally in the clear to pregnancy after two years of trying and a surgery on my side to correct some issues. I can feel the burden finally lessen, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and once again I have a song I can remember this feeling with for the rest of my life. Thank you. Here’s to 12 more years of music and lullabies my kids will hear me sing, by Kina Grannis.
i understand your travails after going through this process. We found supportive doctors and understanding humans everywhere we shared our story. The wonder and the difficulties and emotions surrounding this process are complicated. i wish the best for you and your family
My aunt went through this and was blessed with 5 baby girls. I know you will love your child unconditionally!
You're not only an amazing musician but also an incredible human being! Thank you for being so honest and brave to show us your struggles. Your baby will be blessed to have you two as their parents 🤧
The baby is already filled and surrounded with love from you and Jesse, you guys will be wonderful parents!
I just had to look up when you did that "Disturbia" video and saw it's been 13 years! You exude so much joy and happiness for the world, it's truly amazing. You deserve nothing but the best and I hope you get that. Cheers!
I just feel like I've been growing up alongside Kina on her music & life. So glad to be able to find her & follow her for all these years.
I didnt know you were pregnant! Congratulations Mama!
Kina, I've been around for a while now! Probably around the time you uploaded your first few songs. Through social media (the days of myspace) and through your music ive learned just how much of a beautiful person you are. You deserve anything and everything good that comes to you. Much love to you ❤
I love you Kina. Your voice... Your music... It actually kind of broke my heart to find out that you were married, but he seems like a good guy. We have it all...
No comments just Sending lots of love and hugs 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖😘😘😘
Thank you for sharing ❤️ having gone through 14 miscarriages as a partner and through three unsuccessful IVF cycles, I can relate to your journey and your voice always resonates with me. All the very best to you and your little family🙏🏻
When I get a notification that you have uploaded a video, my happy time begins 📸❣️🍊♥️🥳😘🥰🤩❤️
Kina deserve the best. Take care, stay safe and keep on shining your light. We need it!
Kina, thank you for taking us on this very special journey with you both! I really appreciate how open and real you are with your fans giving us a glimpse into your world and showing us some of what inspires you. Wishing your family so much love and happiness! I love the song so much! 💜
Oh, Kina, I'm wishing you so much luck and sending good vibes your way. We too went thru just what you're doing with IVF injections and egg retrievals. It was stressful and heartbreaking at times, but now it is 19 years later...and we have a son who was the high school valedictorian, a son who's currently first in his junior class and on track to also graduate valedictorian, and an 11 year old daughter who makes us laugh and makes our hearts grow every day. I thank god or the universe for modern medicine - for without this amazing advance, my wife and I wouldn't have these wonderful children to be proud of. I can't wait to see what the future brings to you and hope your family and musical success both continue to grown. Namaste.
The strongest humans ❤️ all the love to you both ❤️
:) it's crazy I've been listening and watching since 2008 so much has changed since then for sure.
I'm so grateful I came across your music page. Not only do we relate from being the likeness of God but found comfort at the same time sorrowful. Today I discovered your purpose in making a beautiful song and walking in it now which is called "In the waiting". I wish I pursued music as well.
Never cease to follow his light and fight the good fight. I'm just a random fan who came by to share words of encouragement and is receiving it from your talent He gave you and to thank you for the inspiring music that enlightens our souls~
I just found this video and your story and it so touches on the core of everything I have been going through with my husband during the past many months. We are still in it. I don't know anyone who has gone through it and this is the first time I've seen it described by someone else. From the getting to grips with "IVF is now our story" to acceptance to even finding good and beautiful moments in the middle of it all. It helps to realize that we're not alone. Thank you!
In reading your story and watching the video I just cannot help but be overjoyed for Both of you! Thanks for sharing it with us. Praying for a peaceful and lovely welcome of your beautiful little girl as she makes entrance into the tangible and loving arms of her parents and family. So very grateful for the wonderful new beginning, the growing of a family and all the love and joy it brings! So very happy for you and Jesse 💞 and your sweet baby girl. She is blessed to have such loving and wonderful parents!
Thanks Kina such a beautiful song. For someone who hasn’t found the light, glad that it is out there. This journey is so unfair and out of our control, making us value what we do have.
What a beautiful song. I've become so emotional listening to it, reading the lyrics and words behind this song and watching this video. You're an incredible talent, Kina, and you're going to be an equally talented mother. Congratulations to you and Jesse. Wishing you both nothing but happiness with your daughter xoxo
You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I feel privileged to have found you some thirteen years ago, and have got to follow your journey through life for all the years since, finding Jesse along the way. He's another beautiful soul and a perfect compliment to yours. Can't wait to see and hear the rest of your journey, with yet another new addition. You make me cry happy tears. Thank you.
You guys are inspiration for not giving up! This baby will have the best life. You are both strong and this miracle of a child will be the most precious gift you ever received. I am praying for your safety and the safety of your baby. Thank you for sharing us your journey. ❤️❤️
I've been listening to you for 15 years. Its so beautiful seeing this journey of yours after following your creative journey since i was a kid. Can't help but to tear up. Love you kina. I'm so happy for you and excited for you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing a part of yourself with us. I hope you and your family experience all the love and happiness that this world can give you.
So happy for your family. I cried during one of your lives during the pandemic when you spoke a bit of your journey and my heart celebrates this season for you both. Be blessed!
you and Jesse are going to be great parents! thank you for documenting your amazing journey! Jim
HI Kina, I have been listening to your music for 5 years now. Your songs are so heart warming. My family loves you and we hope to see you one day.
Its very touching to see you both with so much love and gratitude for each other. We are so happy for your loved one on the way. Thank you for this beautiful and profound song. Sending hugs from Canada
It’s amazing how you managed to turn this long and exhausting journey into a truly touching song❤️ I’ve been a fan since the beginning and I love how all your songs reflect something so real and fragile yet still so beautiful ❤️ I truly wish you two all the best from the bottom of my heart❤️ you two deserve the best of this world ❤️❤️
Just discovered you because my own little one, also an IVF baby, is now 3 and loves your version of Blowin’ in the Wind (her current favorite song). I relate to so much of what you shared about your IVF journey (we had 5 years of infertility), and about your commitment to still find light and joy in life regardless of what happens. I am so happy for you and your family, and I also still feel like the luckiest person in the world to have my daughter, 3 years in! Thank you so much for normalizing this experience and making those of us going through or who went through infertility feel less alone. ❤️❤️
Wow! My ears are blessed to hear this. It's absolutely beautiful. Thank you and your husband for sharing with us your struggles and success. Blessings!
I was just thinking about you the other day as I had "I never wanted anything more than I wanted you" stuck in my head. I'm SO happy for you! 🥺❤️ God bless you guys and your beautiful precious little baby. 💕
Thank you for making this song, so much strength and love ! Blessings to you and your family always !
Absolutely beautiful! Sending much love to you both 💕
wow i cried from start to end, very powerful and moving.
Kissing a masked Jesse. ❤❤❤You guys are the cutest .👶So happy for you two!
Congrats Kina. I am so happy for you ✨🌸 you are going to be such an amazing mama ♥️
Hope you and your family are doing well! Absolutely beautiful song!
This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤️❤️❤️ You guys are amazing and I'm sending you all the virtual hugs!!
I pray you both be blessed. Thank you for sharing this.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way...🙏
Happy mothers day Kina💗💐🤰🏻🤱🏻🕊️ blessings
This song stunning as always, and has given me hope, I’ve been trying to conceive naturally for four years now which you know is hard on the heart and I’ve been nervous about the next step of the journey and seeing this has helped ease some fears I have if I have the go down the IVF path is won’t be as I fear all cold and clinical so thanks for sharing this :)
Congratulations to the pair of you :D
so glad to see you happy! a million years ago it seems.. saved my life a bunch.. now you have one to hold.. can always look up your voice for my lil one.
I’m so full of hope from your heart and bravery 💛💛💛💛
Words cannot describe how happy I am for you and Jesse
THIS!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I haven’t experienced infertility but I have just lost a pregnancy and can’t help but feel so alone. I’m so happy that you are getting your beautiful rainbow. I hope we can both say we’re holding our rainbows someday. I am so happy for you and proud of your vulnerability and strength. You are a very strong force and your little one is so blessed to have you and Jesse as their parents ❤️
Happy for you
You are a light to this entire world 💛
While I’m working I play UA-cam listening random song and stumble your video …..I love your song I love your voice and I can’t stop crying . Im not so lucky on my IVF journey, congratulations for you and your spouse …… thank you for making this beautiful song.
Hi kina
I've no words.. you were the very first person of whome musice I've listened to.
I'm blessed to hear your words.
Stay blessed
Lots of love from TIBET
So beautiful, I'm 39 and relate to this.
Happy Birthday Kina. I wish you the best birthday that you can have in this new year of 2022 and pray that whatever your plans are for today all your dreams come true on your birthday today.
Praying it’s all good pure baby love. Wishing you three the happiest of New Years.
the melody of this song is so perfect!
I'm so happy for you!!!!
Everything will fall in place! What goes around comes around. You have soothing voice and are gifted with music that calms down so many restless sous - we are always with you though we are far! Lots of love and blessings!!!
Kina, best wishes for your journey... 3's a magic number.
I love this, thank you so much for sharing your journey! Many blessings🙏💕
Awweeeee Kina!!! this makes me love you even more. 💗💗💗
This is beautiful.
I just want to hug them both, really really tight ❤ Even though as a fan I'm just a stranger, after following their music and journey for a decade, I feel like a friend watching and cheering them on from far away. I've seen you play once in Amsterdam 2018, I only wish there would have been a meet&greet so I could tell you in person how truly incredible you both are and how your music and this community makes my life a little more magical. Thank you, sending much love and luck for this new chapter 😊
Beautiful nature walk! 🦌
Sending you hugs and hugs, girl! I went through IUI twice so I know the feeling and the journey. Sending you and your family so much love
I'm SO happy for you guys ! ❤
Kina, new fan here. I know how hard it is on you and your partner in going through infertility. It takes a toll on your relationship and I'm happy you two got through it. Enjoy your motherhood - it's truly a blessed thing to go through.
Well. I hadn't cried yet today. So thank you for that. :) Kina, this was just beautiful. And suspect there are others out there like you who will deeply appreciate the message of love and positivity you've offered. There is a light to be found, but--man--it can be hard to see it sometimes. This song will be a good reminder.
MP
Fan since 2008
This song is magic 💛💛
Beautiful!
❤❤❤ this is so precious. I feel so honoured to even view this. God bless your heart Kina..and your family too. ❤
Thanks for sharing your IVF story Kina, such a beautiful video (and song)!
I truly wish you both health and hapiness; your videos never fail to soothe my spirit. Take care.
Soo beautifully happy for u both xx
Good thoughts and vibes your way.
Beautiful as always and Congratulations to you both children bring so much to our lives of good apart from a bit of stress now n again but it's all learning .. you are a gift to this Earth Grannis you already had a bright light inside that shone over the earth even before you became with child 💞 keep shining bright beautiful lady your child is one blessed little human to have a mother as beautiful as you inside and out xxxx
This is great!
Truly Magical.
Thank you for letting us into your life and for sharing such a private journey.
Awww, I've been following you forever (like 12+ years). We went through infertility, 10 iui, several surgeries and now have our rainbow (bought meds for mini ivf, but iui 10 worked). Thank you for sharing your journey
Thank you for your music,❤❤❤❤
May miracle happens and may your heart always at ease staying with your love ones...love your song so much 💟
warm and lovely feelings as all ways
Beautiful video to go along with an emotional song and journey 💚
We are all so happy for you and Jesse!!
Merci pour ce beau témoignage !
Beautiful