Why do black marriages have the highest divorce rates

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  • Опубліковано 31 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 332

  • @nujaz
    @nujaz 23 дні тому +89

    My 1st wife, a Blk woman… Hated me; And my father realized it before I did. In short, he told me not to spend the best years of my life trying to fix a problem I can’t fix… one day I had enough and divorced her. Ive been married to a woman I met in Japan for 18 years. It is a very peaceful existence. She is the best friend I’ve ever had.

  • @DA-kb8up
    @DA-kb8up Місяць тому +114

    Black women pick the man they want not the man they need.

  • @CGordon-p7p
    @CGordon-p7p Місяць тому +105

    Highest divorce rate and lowest marriage rate. Highest pregnancy terminator.

  • @calvinadams1689
    @calvinadams1689 Місяць тому +61

    Black culture has destroyed any semblance of a positive relationship. LbJ did a job on the Black family, seen it first hand.!!!!

  • @jmanhope1745
    @jmanhope1745 11 місяців тому +284

    Men want a COMPANION in the home, not a COMPETITOR!

  • @Billy32609
    @Billy32609 Місяць тому +69

    When a husband tries to help a black woman she will criticize him and he will stop, then she will complain she does so much.

  • @elvisejo5885
    @elvisejo5885 Місяць тому +137

    As a black man, i would say for myself that black women is load of headache

  • @permafrost2893
    @permafrost2893 Місяць тому +105

    "Modern women love the FANTASY of a Marriage and the REALITY of a Divorce!"

  • @mrhollister8520
    @mrhollister8520 Місяць тому +42

    As a ppl, we have been sold a web of lies and deceit. Submission is not about being an indentured servant to the man, it’s actually submitting to the order of TMH which covers and protects you. That being said, the man must be in line with the commandments of TMH as well which seals the deal.

  • @dextermack8505
    @dextermack8505 Місяць тому +29

    I'm a black man who through much trials and suffering finally learned how to have a great loving relationship with my black Queen! For one thing she's not trying to be the King! But, the most important thing was my choices in women; I chose according to beauty and body in the past; a serious mistake! When you're looking for love your looking in the spirit of love and Righteousness, and God is Love! But, when you choose because of the flesh and you're not in the same spirit with the one you choose, you're then basically sleeping with the enemy. And, it's true that blood is thicker than water, but Spirit controls all matter! If you're shopping in the Dog pound then that's what you're going to get. So when you get it home and it acts like a Dog? This is the results of shopping in the flesh! But, make sure your own house is in order first! Don't be a hypocrite.
    Love thy Enemy doesn't mean sleep with them! It just means respect others as a human being.

  • @candycrusher2024
    @candycrusher2024 6 місяців тому +128

    Higher std rates, unemployment and infidelity rates.

  • @chicp413
    @chicp413 5 місяців тому +108

    I'm going to answer for myself.... I didn't stay married to my ex husband because of infidelity... He was in the military and he kept on playing on me.. This was 27yrs ago. I'm 51 now, and I thank God that I'm single today 😊💜

  • @Letrend-ed3bu
    @Letrend-ed3bu Місяць тому +36

    The mothers taught them not to Respect a Man!

  • @weapons_ofmassdistraction_9550
    @weapons_ofmassdistraction_9550 Місяць тому +38

    Fight the enemy not your spouse. Must Love GOD. Must Love each other. Love conquers all

  • @druth5134
    @druth5134 Місяць тому +42

    Bw argue just to win a argument . Learn calmness and you'll be alright.

  • @dexkato7329
    @dexkato7329 Місяць тому +16

    Black women do a lousy job of vetting and selecting their partners for marriage. They take dating advice from social media influencers, such as Kendra G. Some sistah's are getting married to men who have multiple kids by multiple baby mama's, and they're broke as a cockroach. If a black man is under 5'11 tall, and they automatically put him in the friendzone. Black women place too much emphasis on finding a man who identifies as being a Christian. However, his actions and his deeds are not Christ like.

  • @permafrost2893
    @permafrost2893 Місяць тому +54

    "Independent Boss Chics are Traditionally Lost Chics!"

  • @donnajeffreys8252
    @donnajeffreys8252 5 місяців тому +60

    Nobody wants to grow old in a toxic relationship!! One person can't make it work it takes two. Learn as much as you can about yourself, God and men BEFORE you start dating 🙏🏾 read books 📚 listen to good married mentors that have healthy marriages not complaining about their wives or husbands. Listen to UA-cam videos and learn as much as you can. Learn to enjoy your own company before you get into a relationship because nobody else can make you happy you need to like yourself, love yourself. MEN KNOW MEN BETTER THAN WOMEN KNOW MEN . make sure you listen to Godly married men mentors to help you understand how to treat men. Women know Women better than men do so a Godly married woman is also good to listen and learn from.

  • @MsLotusBlooms
    @MsLotusBlooms 2 місяці тому +53

    High rates of cheating, incompatible mates, disrespect, and just a bad environment were living in.

  • @dvannf1
    @dvannf1 Місяць тому +21

    Great advice. I have been married for 48yrs. #4 adult kids, # 2 grand kids. Best wife for LIFE!❤😊

  • @Elegant85
    @Elegant85 11 місяців тому +29

    Amen! I've been happily married for 12 years and 5 children later. You are on point, sister❤ God bless

    • @BonjourCuisine
      @BonjourCuisine  11 місяців тому +7

      Beautiful 💕 thanks for your feedback. Let's continue to speak the truth about how being married is a beautiful thing.

    • @thewordsmith5440
      @thewordsmith5440 4 місяці тому +5

      The newest hiv infections are married women. No one is divorcing over socks on the floor cheating and abusive are the main reasons people are leaving.

  • @kennetharmpriester9321
    @kennetharmpriester9321 Місяць тому +17

    Raised in single house holds dont know how to love a man a black women's mouth is ridiculous they believe being argumentative is a sign of strength when it's straight toxic after 35 ....smh

  • @Raven.Tulips
    @Raven.Tulips Місяць тому +7

    I’ve always found myself drawn to older women too. I cherish their life lessons and experiences. They are in good healthy and marriages, and speak positively about their husbands and children. My husband likes to tease me about how when we’re out together, random strangers will approach me just to have a conversation. He tells me I have an approachable face, and that my appearance plays a part in it too. I dress modestly and respectfully. Though I’m not naturally outspoken, I’ve made it a point since I was younger to challenge myself to engage in conversation, and it’s led to some of the most meaningful and uplifting exchanges 😊. I find so much joy in listening and learning. Like you, I like to soak in wisdom, and even though I read the Bible daily, there’s always something new that I discover. It’s truly a blessing.

  • @dacommish23
    @dacommish23 Місяць тому +37

    I didnt want to, but i gave up on BW a while back

  • @lennetta4183
    @lennetta4183 5 місяців тому +19

    No respect No loyalty cheating .The women nagging.poor communication skills, Not fulfilling, each other’s needs . lack of respect of differences, Marriage is some thing that both parties have to work at . You have to see eye to eye .different, long-term goals for the future . The don’t get along … Always arguing not enough money . A couple have to make each other happy . had to share that chores of cleaning the house . Many reasons

  • @FierceFashion
    @FierceFashion 11 місяців тому +29

    The part about let him do whatever in the bedroom…can we add WITH CONSENT to that 🥴

    • @BonjourCuisine
      @BonjourCuisine  11 місяців тому +17

      😆 Yes, although I believe if you both love and are passionate about each other, the feelings are mutual, by the time a couple reaches the level of being intimate. They should already know how to treat each other. Intimacy should not be a complicated thing it should be reciprocal.

  • @mosesdennis9060
    @mosesdennis9060 5 місяців тому +12

    Thank you sister
    May God bless your marriage.
    You have a decent mindset for genuine growth.

  • @amandadevorahcaraballo8847
    @amandadevorahcaraballo8847 Місяць тому +14

    I'm divorced . I will never stay with a man you can't lead with wisdom and kindness and if you can't keep hands to yourself, take no for an answer when comes to sex, not sleep with others i will not stay. When the stress causes your hair to fall out and bowels not longer under control. You leave.

  • @michaelmayojr.2730
    @michaelmayojr.2730 17 днів тому +5

    Black women were told marriage is for love when it’s a business arrangement between two people who join together for the betterment of each other and there children

  • @ronniescales188
    @ronniescales188 Місяць тому +10

    Real Talk... You are wise and smart. Keep sharing your insight. I can see why you are married. Someone needs to hear from you.

  • @jeffcee9457
    @jeffcee9457 Місяць тому +26

    Its so unfortunate and sad that our B.W. are finding too late that degrees and career should never replace a family

  • @rdkirk3834
    @rdkirk3834 4 місяці тому +20

    We are not standing at a point of equilibrium. The black community (such that it is) is into the third generation of "baby mama" culture. We have a generation of young men today predominantly raised in mother-led homes whose _grandparents_ were predominantly raised in mother-led homes. The entire community of men surrounding them was raised in mother-led homes. And, no, seeing a "father" a few hours a week can _not_ teach them how to function effectively in a home with a wife.
    _They have nobody to teach them how to be men._ And, similarly, black women have nobody to teach them how to be wives. There is nobody around to teach either of them how to function as husband and wife. That's been for _three generations._ A functional marriage is just ideas, concepts, and theories to them...they've mostly never actually seen a functional marriage modeled. And those concepts are skewed by social media and reality television.
    Some will struggle through it and learn, but most have not and will not unless as a community we all make a concerted effort to stop pointing fingers and change. Stop listening to the failures among black people and look at the examples of success in other races and the minority of black couples that are successful.

  • @permafrost2893
    @permafrost2893 Місяць тому +19

    "Modern-day Wife, lifetime of Strife!"

  • @BENNIJERROD
    @BENNIJERROD Місяць тому +21

    If she dated Pookie in the past she won’t ever value or appreciate a stand up black man. She will start fights then finally file for divorce and her excuse will be he wasn’t a leader. He didn’t care about her emotions. Or anything to blame him for why she can’t respect that man.

  • @rabbannibey1128
    @rabbannibey1128 16 днів тому +1

    Maaaaannn!! I really appreciated this video. So many gems to take note of. I watched this video 3 times jus now. More videos like this shud be pushed in the algorithm Big Time!!

  • @vanessasmith3628
    @vanessasmith3628 5 місяців тому +25

    Finances is one cause due to statistics; mental health is another cause. I know a man that is-on-is 6th marriage & his failed relationships were not due to the women. A lot of undiagnosed mental health problems. Statistics show that with black couples that are financially stable the marriages success rate is significally higher. There are probably more reasons why divorce is higher. It is not due to archaic beliefs about women.

  • @kennetharmpriester9321
    @kennetharmpriester9321 Місяць тому +14

    Because of women !!!!

  • @seankoles
    @seankoles 9 днів тому

    Great video!! Thanks for sharing these perspectives, as these are tough conversations especially in this new age of relationships.

  • @tonrobert3391
    @tonrobert3391 Місяць тому +9

    Let the blame shifting begin 😂

  • @klipsaudio
    @klipsaudio Місяць тому +4

    Wouldn't waste my life getting married

  • @ikejackson8676
    @ikejackson8676 10 днів тому +1

    Talk about it good lady you are so correct and God bless you and your family amen

  • @lowc5114
    @lowc5114 10 днів тому +1

    Because we let people control our marriage by telling all our business to the good the bad not being real with the husband or to the wife not trying to look weak to your friends not letting GOD be first in our lives

  • @leroyj3627
    @leroyj3627 4 місяці тому +11

    Lowest marriage rates and highest divorce rates. Houston, we DEFINITELY have some problems, here!
    May God bless you and your efforts to positively impact B culture.

  • @sereneamani1713
    @sereneamani1713 17 днів тому

    You have found the best and most lucrative way to gain support and popularity on social media platforms. Carry on. Most people are in for a wide and life-changing awakening. And it won't be just Black women sowing the disastrous results.

  • @mistamone
    @mistamone 20 днів тому +1

    Thanks for coming on as your natural self without the make up. I love women in their natural state. The message is on point. God bless your Husband and may God continue to guide him. God bless you as a women/wife for delivering this message.

  • @jacksondoss9256
    @jacksondoss9256 17 днів тому +1

    I hope what you're saying sister is not too late because it's pretty bad out here now! But thank you so much for your message!❤

  • @mawatrop5575
    @mawatrop5575 Місяць тому +8

    Everybody's have mariage problems not just Black peoples
    Even Black men or women that have decide to marry outside of their own race are divorcing
    All the races have the same challenges when it comes to love
    The difference is that for Black peuple in America is a drama
    Because many have grown without father in home because of our past and present history
    Keep in mind , 30% of white population can't be compared to a 30% of Black people in America,
    You need to look at the total number of Blacks population in Usa compare to the White population.

  • @superodalisque
    @superodalisque 5 місяців тому +44

    Because they involve BM who have the highest divorce rates no matter who they're married to. The same cannot be said of BW who marry out. We know who the common denominator is. BWs marital success rate is very high with other M.

  • @tredinabrown2249
    @tredinabrown2249 5 місяців тому +7

    LET ALL THINGS BE DONE DECENTLY AND IN ORDER. 1 CORINTHIANS 14:40 READ 1 CORINTHIANS 15:33 LIVE HOLY! PRAISE HIS HOLY NAME! HALLELUYAH!

  • @SuperKwame1
    @SuperKwame1 18 годин тому

    Great message, sister. One love. I have been married for 30years.

    • @BonjourCuisine
      @BonjourCuisine  6 годин тому

      I’m so happy for you! That’s inspiring 💕

  • @sunman8112
    @sunman8112 26 днів тому +2

    My opinion, the image of father and mother has been distorted for years, through media. This has impacted the way men and women look at each other. Not all, but a large enough number, we have to point it out. We have more control today, over how this image is presented to our community, and to other communities. We can change it, may take some time.

  • @wolf-man_icey.
    @wolf-man_icey. 15 днів тому

    Cheri hey first time here on your channel love this video facts💪🏾💰💪🏾💪🏾

  • @NameLastname-v2r
    @NameLastname-v2r 27 днів тому +1

    You can't have two captains working the ship ? My ex wife was living very expensive life and upon that, she never respected. She always wanted me to do what she suggested and never mine. She had rich friends and wanted to measure up to their status by using my money and not working to make the money. She asked me to sign divorce papers when my bank account became empty.

  • @evaphillips2102
    @evaphillips2102 Місяць тому +2

    Might have something to do with the constant direct persecution of our relationships.

  • @nmhoskins
    @nmhoskins Місяць тому +4

    Some black women are not willing to tolerate disrespect just to stay married and have a man
    Abuse is not just cheating and physical abuse.

  • @pnice964
    @pnice964 20 днів тому +1

    I'm feeling in between because we just been married for 5 years with 4 kids. But recently had argument n both said bad things about each other family. When she called my sister and mama a bitch that went to far.

  • @dereckwhite5774
    @dereckwhite5774 12 днів тому

    Excellent delivery young Hebrew !!👍🏿

  • @The1stbornsonvirgo
    @The1stbornsonvirgo 18 днів тому +1

    10 years?? That’s fantastic. You are a newlywed. Trust me. I’ve been married for 32 years. I got married at 22. Your biggest trials are ahead of you. At some point “love” has nothing to do with a long term relationship. Remember your vows. It’s about “DUTY”. What is your duty to your husband? What is his duty to you? My oldest is 29, when we found out my wife was pregnant that was the last day she worked. And she still doesn’t work. Good thing bad thing I don’t know. But the main thing I concentrate on is my duty to my wife and of course my children. Good luck to you. Please make another video 10 years from now. Trust me 10 years is the infancy of a relationship.

  • @CawfeeGasBlast
    @CawfeeGasBlast Рік тому +34

    Why would a black woman stay married...if her black man have app. 3 BabyMamas? Or TRYING to get 3 BabyMamas? If he cheats...leave. Gotta have standards and self-respect.

    • @BonjourCuisine
      @BonjourCuisine  11 місяців тому +44

      Have you watched the entire video? In this video, I am addressing married black women who are married to good black men. If a woman chooses to marry a man who is in the habit of cheating on her before marriage or has a bunch of baby mamas, it's because she can handle the drama. Also, she should keep quiet and enjoy the rough ride. At the end of the day, no one forced her to be in this kind of relationship. That is her own decision. The bar should be high while dating.

  • @emmajose7311
    @emmajose7311 17 днів тому +1

    Best advice ever from a wise woman to women.

  • @dannybaldwin7343
    @dannybaldwin7343 29 днів тому +3

    🤷 After 19 yr. Marriage my ex wasn't happy so she cheated and divorced me.🤷❤️🖤💚

  • @juanlong7374
    @juanlong7374 Місяць тому +4

    Awesome message

  • @genovasquez8361
    @genovasquez8361 Місяць тому +8

    Men are not seeking marriages like that

  • @theronneal
    @theronneal 11 днів тому

    Contentiousness is bread and encouraged more in our community.

  • @johnsonsammuel-kn9zo
    @johnsonsammuel-kn9zo Місяць тому +4

    You are very right

  • @kevinnash2444
    @kevinnash2444 Місяць тому +1

    Wow. Your logic is solid!

  • @luv1romeo69
    @luv1romeo69 6 днів тому

    It’s no secret, just stay loyal, respectful and spiritual.

  • @kimberly0717
    @kimberly0717 Місяць тому +8

    I’ll say this, MANY cultures aren’t happy in their marriages. Most stay due to appearances, and cultural pressures as well. I’ve done some research on Asian domestic violence and it’s VERY prevalent. It’s just not reported as much. A lot “NOT ALL” of black men want unicorns too. She’s not thick enough, skinny enough, cute enough and most that have these requirements are shaped like Barney Rubble themselves. I got divorced because my husband was emotionally and mentally abusive. Going back into the dating world I’ve noticed the above scenarios in a lot of cases including lacking commitment desires. Some men don’t allow your femine to come through due to their strong personalities. I’ve met men who I felt softer around where I am more comfortable like the men I am dating now. I’ve also met MANY YT women who are demanding and emasculating.

  • @paulgibbs331
    @paulgibbs331 20 днів тому

    God has blessed you with sound wisdom. GODSPEED !!

  • @Chris-jn1sv
    @Chris-jn1sv Місяць тому +4

    We need to go back to the old or Bible definition of marriage

  • @sylmanyeki9323
    @sylmanyeki9323 14 днів тому +1

    Alot of black women have no desire to be married. And Im not throwing shade at people who are married. For some of us, we prefer to be single

  • @lastwapbender
    @lastwapbender 4 місяці тому +5

    Women in general should take note and men too. I learnt alot myself listening to her

  • @robertmeeks6296
    @robertmeeks6296 4 дні тому

    I like what you’re saying keep it up👍it seems like women should know this already

  • @aleciamoten6867
    @aleciamoten6867 5 місяців тому +4

    Great video! Thanks!😊

  • @TiSIWO
    @TiSIWO 4 дні тому

    My wife cooks for us, and each time she does (I never force her, it’s not even expected, and often I have to convince her not to cook, for she deserves a break) I am like melting butter in her hands. I always try to help (mostly conversation 🙃, and she likes it too) and always, Always do the dishes.

  • @latoyathomas9640
    @latoyathomas9640 2 дні тому

    As a wife I don't and will never take advice from a single woman&when it comes to the married women,her marriage must be healthy.

  • @Rolling8687
    @Rolling8687 20 годин тому

    "Team❤Love" I respect 💯

  • @frankyautotech
    @frankyautotech 24 дні тому

    high thank for your information and GOD keep blessing

  • @Exodus26.13Pi
    @Exodus26.13Pi Рік тому +6

    Prophetic 🎉

  • @acmaysnetworker
    @acmaysnetworker 12 днів тому +1

    thank you for this awesome, practical and corrective video, WE people that are viewing need to promote her and others preaching and teaching PRACTICAL truth and understanding. our culture is corrupted, greedy, selfish and has pitted women against men for evil since the beginning, however the black culture has a triple dosage because it was done again in salary and for consumerism in the 70s and 80s, so we have it spiritually, historically and now in today's modern teaching and being presented as a great ALTERNATIVE!!1

  • @AdrianHowell-f1o
    @AdrianHowell-f1o Місяць тому +5

    Good information just one question why is your ring on the wrong hand though?

    • @BonjourCuisine
      @BonjourCuisine  Місяць тому +1

      The video has been rotated and flipped. Good observation.

  • @puppx13
    @puppx13 23 дні тому

    It was refreshing hearing this lady speak.

  • @stevegordon7693
    @stevegordon7693 11 днів тому

    I can only speak for my failed marriage, and I alone take the full brunt of the responsibility.
    I simply was not equipped with the skills to properly do the job.
    I am in therapy and have been for quite a while now. I am learning so many things that I was clueless about back then.
    I was not cheating on my wife or anything, I just had no clue as to the dance between man and woman. I simply did not know how to communicate and we all know how important that is.
    Although far from perfect now, I am light years ahead of where I used to be.
    My ex wife/mother of my kids and I, have always been kind and friendly towards one another throughout the whole process, and our children (now grown) have suffered far less than they would have otherwise. So I take the 'L' for my marriage falling apart, simply because I was clueless as a mate period.

  • @tiffany29
    @tiffany29 2 дні тому

    Choosing the wrong man will do it, stop falling for struggle love and explore your options.

  • @dopemanroyalfamtv9243
    @dopemanroyalfamtv9243 21 день тому

    PREACH 🙌🙏🙏🙏🙏 Keep Up The Great Work 💪

  • @Amour-t4g
    @Amour-t4g 5 місяців тому +6

    I really appreciate your wise speech from DR CONGO

  • @eltonwashington596
    @eltonwashington596 23 дні тому

    BELIEVE IT OR not my wife asked me to dance in a club and in January we will been 20yrs.At the beginning she was a flight attendan and now I'm retired and she is still working. I do clean,wash dishes and at one point took both to school and picked them up.now one has her children and she younger in college playing in the band.And 6 married couples that inter act with!RETIRED USCG GOOD LUCK to the singles 💕

  • @ronl.2913
    @ronl.2913 17 днів тому

    I agree with most of what she said. But, we are not trying to be your friend. Being a friend with a woman usually ends up with the man just being used. So, let just try to become friends after we are together.

  • @essiew3205
    @essiew3205 5 місяців тому +26

    Marriage is overrated!

  • @asanteL
    @asanteL 11 днів тому

    Because social media made it easier to step away thinking something is better waiting for you plus it's got everybody thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

  • @latoyathomas9640
    @latoyathomas9640 2 дні тому

    I don't have an issue with submission,it's HAPPY HOUSE HAPPY SPOUSE FOR ME!

  • @ronalston4914
    @ronalston4914 20 днів тому +1

    Accountability is not going to happen...

  • @gregorylatta8159
    @gregorylatta8159 5 місяців тому +5

    Lack of accountability and values.

  • @asanteL
    @asanteL 11 днів тому

    Nothing wrong with admitting your spouse does certain things better than yourself!

  • @discipleslim9506
    @discipleslim9506 Місяць тому +3

    Women today love the chase of single life. Especially Black women.

  • @fiae2897
    @fiae2897 5 місяців тому +9

    Married B people need to embrace Prof couple's counselling. It's money well invested if both are keen on fixing things. Long-term relationships usually have issues. Ty ❤

  • @PoorMan84
    @PoorMan84 Місяць тому

    The reason is selfishness and lack of respect. Everything can be tied to those two things.

  • @darncash2056
    @darncash2056 9 днів тому

    Internalized racism, systemic racism and life struggles. We struggle with supporting each other in business and everything else. We don't like each other

  • @mariecadely7834
    @mariecadely7834 Рік тому +8

    Maybe it’s because most of us are legally married ?

  • @loveacoachfitnessnutrition863
    @loveacoachfitnessnutrition863 16 днів тому

    This advice is most beautiful ❤️ it