The Anxiety Cycle: Triggered .... AND TRICKED! (Podcast Ep 275)
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2023
- The anxiety cycle starts as a seemingly never ending loop where you get triggered, you fight through it, you calm down, then you worry and fret over the next time you might get triggered. It can become an exhausting merry-go-ground if you're new to this process and convinced that high anxiety and panic are horrible disasters that must be avoided or "managed" at all costs.
But over time you will start to see that you are not just being triggered into an anxious state, but that you are being TRICKED by that anxious state. When you begin to see the trickery involved in internally focused disordered anxiety, things can begin to change.
For full show notes on this episode:
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Phenomenal. Totally helpful, profound and 💯 accurate.
"What if I DIDN'T make it the most important thing....?"
The TRICKERY aspect is so huge. There's that GOLDEN MOMENT between the trigger/THOUGHT and the emotional charge we inject into it, then get dragged behind the horse..as you said, we can simply VEER OFF that course.
Outstanding, sir. Thank you.
I just wanted to thank you for helping us. You say exactly what my therapist says to me and when I feel overwhelmed I come to your channel and get a refresher and it helps me a lot during the day. Listen to this man because he’s right about everything on anxiety!
Thank you for the feedback. It's always nice when the content works as a supplement to the other work someone is doing! :-)
This is motivating. I’m feeling like doing hard things just to spite the trickster.
Just one big bluff that cost us our precious lifetime.
It does feel like a bluff, doesn't it! A well meaning, but misguided bluff.
So true anxiety is like quicksand more you struggle the more you sink. Great
I've always wondered where all the actual quicksand even is. As a kid it was in like every TV show but so far ... nothing.
You and Nathan Peterson, truly doing good work out here. I’ve been following Nathan for a few years and stumbled onto you through him, I’ve been quietly supporting but I’ve wanted to thank you for some time now. Thanks man, you’re awesome🤝🏼
Hey thanks! Nathan is pretty solid, isn't he! I dig that guy too!
This stage is exactly where am at. It feels like a huge step forward and is getting me closer to recovery.
Thxs Drew !!!!!!
I'm so glad this was something that was relatable for you. Keep going! :-)
Omg! This is so me! I struggle with even when I try to stop the cycle by changing my thoughts the physical symptoms still hang around which then brings my thoughts back to the sensations, I'm then in the loop! Arghhh
Yup. You can stop trying to change your thoughts. You can't stop them. You can't change them. You can't choose what to NOT think. Brains don't work that way and when you have a scary thought then immediately try to change or replace it, you are literally rewarding your brain for sounding the alarm and calling those thoughts horrible and worthy of evasive action. Breaking the cycle is about changing the way you react when you experience those thoughts and physical sensations.
Thank you Drew, I'm going to use the trickery concept.
Man this is so on point and timely for me right now. Had a panic attack this morning due to whatever trigger, worked through it as always..bastard tricked me again!! After uncountable panic attacks..it tricked me again! Fooled again by this lie of danger, insufficientness, and incompetence. This tricked idea will certainly be my next catalyst in this next step of recovery. Thanks so much for sharing this. I think for anyone at the midway point of recovery will find this idea immeasurably helpful. For individuals just starting the recovery process, just having this concept in the back of your mind will certainly speed up your recovery.
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it! Sometimes we have to just find different metaphors and ways to frame things. Different explanations ring true and resonate for different people. I'm glad this one kinda made sense for you. :-)
Thank you!!! Your podcasts are so helpful.
You are very welcome. I'm glad you're finding it useful in some way. xx
Just bought your book.
I hope you find it helpful in some way. :-)
Thank you Drew. I've just come across your content and its such a relief to me. Do you have any tips to help someone (close family member) that's at rock bottom, has suffered anxiety for decades. They're in continuous anxiety and panic attacks, and dismiss any suggestion to explain or reframing their situation. Any suggestion at all is met with ' but', followed by a reason why that wont work, and sometimes anger as if they are being invalidated by these suggestions. They have seen a therapist once recently but can't remember what was said as they are so distressed and agitated they have no executive function at all (and have been given tranquilisers to reduce the agitation, which doesn't help with listening or cognition). They have only not unalived themselves because of the hurt it would cause to others. They will only leave the house under duress from their spouse, who is not able to leave them for any time at all or play any tv or radio that might upset them. It's so hard for everyone. can you suggest anything that is the very smallest first step that could help change the trajectory? sorry for the download, its been a lot, thanks for any suggestion you or your listeners can provide 🙏.
That is a very difficult situation for sure. The big obstacle there is that many people in this community start where your family member is. In that place where they desperately want to feel better but still reply with that loud "BUT" to pretty much everything. It takes a while for folks to start to recognize that something has to change and even then, they will often go through a period where they spend all their time and effort trying to fix and manage symptoms rather than addressing the state itself and the fear of fear that drives it. This is a common and normal progression. There's really not much anyone can do to reason with an anxious mind that insists so strongly making anxiety go away instantly is the only obvious thing to do. The earliest episodes of my podcast (they're on here) attempt to explain what's happening as to the first 3 chapters of my book. The feedback on those early chapters is almost universally positive. The book starts with "you are not broken" which often hooks even the most resistant reader. So you can suggest those early podcast episodes or my book (The Anxious Truth) but you can't. make that person listen, read, or agree. That's where online help kinda hits its limit because then we run out of suggestions. You might also point that person at the first few episodes of the Disordered podcast I do with Josh Fletcher. Those explain the fear of fear concept too. Hang in there. xx
@@TheAnxiousTruth Thanks so much for your advice and suggestions. I will put them forward and hopefully they will start to see there is a way forward. I had a light bulb moment too. I bought your book to read the first chapters to check they wouldn't be too upsetting for them and promptly realised that's one step away from avoidance by proxy, and protecting them isn't helpful! We will all be learning along the way I guess! Thanks again for your advice it is so appreciated 🙏
I am here and I've been much more active this past couple of weeks. Drew can you talk about stopping identifying with anxiety because I find that even though I'm doing more things, I'm always thinking...but I have anxiety etc. I don't want to be all about anxiety any more.
How about, "I experience anxiety?" That's quite accurate. And what you experience is not who you are. I kind of hate "I have anxiety" and the constant references to "MY anxiety" because they can lead to the place you're describing here. Your brain is likely on high alert all the time so its going to be expected that you're preoccupied with anxiety now. Don't demand to just turn that off. That's not a thing you get to just decide to do. But reframe "having anxiety" to "experiencing anxiety", recognize that you hate and fear that, allow whatever thoughts you have to exist, but consider what you can DO (not think or feel) that more accurately reflect who you are and who want to be EVEN WHILE feeling anxious.
Thank you.
Could you please do another episode ON PANIC AND EXERCISE. I have come along way with recovery , exercise is the only one left that triggers panic in me. I have listened to ur podcast on that subject in ur early episodes, just wonder if u could do another one??? 🙏🙏🙏
I will reply with a question. What else do you think I could say about panic and exercise that you need to hear that I didn't say in those first two episodes? I know this sounds kinda cheeky, but it can be helpful to ask yourself what else you want to hear, and why you want to hear it. Are you hoping to hear words that will make it less scary? Do words alone work when addressing these fears? Part of my job here is to help you challenge those narratives so why should there be more discussion of that topic? xx
I understand what ur saying Drew, I guess I am expecting to hear the magic words that will make panic go away when i exercise. It's the only area in my life now that still scares me. I need to practice being scared and exercising at the same time. I would love to get back to going on hikes. I really am missing the benefits of being active. I'm turning into jelly. Lol
Hi . I’m struggling with anxiety . On meds but they will take a few weeks to kick in . Please advise me what to do meantime. 🙏
You cannot ask the internet this question because nobody knows your mental health situation. Work with a real mental health professional IRL :)
I'm sorry you're struggling now. You'll find that my content rarely includes advice or tips on how to make anxiety go away right now. I'm generally more focused on long term recovery strategies.
All that recovery and acceptance should be done only after we stopped SSRI?
That's not a question that has a "correct" answer. There are people here that recovered without meds, after meds, and while taking medication. I am never going to tell anyone that they need or should stop taking their medication. That's not my place and its not fair or safe for me to give that kind of advice.
@@TheAnxiousTruth thanks Drew. The reason I asked is because I still dizzy (unsteady) and palps while being on SSRI. I do not want to stop the meds as it can burden with withdrawal symptoms added. My question is, 1. Is my acceptance is still valid while on meds. 2. Can withdrawal start after I reach a significant milestone on my recovery
I have a question? I do not have a fear of driving or going places like store or taking a walk! but i have anxiety 24/7. I have a big pressure and tightness that comes in my head and it starts from left side of head and makes my neck hurt so bad! Are there people that dont have those fears? I do have other fears like food that i eat! I basically eat same thing evry day because i think food is going to trigger my anxiety! and i dont want to take supplements and medication!
Sounds like you fear the sensations of anxiety ittself. Practice feeling them without deeming them catastrophies or attributing any meaning to them. They're just a feeling, like any other. Side effects of the adrenaline and only an "issue" because you deem it one. Takes some practice but keep approaching it over and over and you'll show yourself its not actually anything to worry about
@@chaoswraith yes that is what i was thinking! I fear the sensations of anxiety! So i will work on that!
It's exactly what the great Dr. Weekes terms "fear of the fear itself" That's the central cause of the anxiety state.@@chaoswraith
I see others have chimed in with some great responses already. I will add that if you see it as being afraid of anxiety itself, you will start to see that I am almost always addressing you too. What you're describing is not a different kind of anxiety that requires a different approach or special instructions. When anxious, that is an opportunity to practice building a new relationship with that state. The fact that you don't have to drive to trigger the anxiety is mostly inconsequential. This is a simplification of course, but the its important to understand the principles when it comes to being afraid of feeling anxious.