I’m glad you’re here. I don’t care about your front. You have a soft heart. While your content is very entertaining, I love YOU. Thank you for sticking around. You are loved so much more than you know
I love the "lolita's are supposed to be lovelies!!" argument. No. No we are not. We are polite at best, venomous at worst. The expectation that a fashion that caters mostly to women and people presenting as women has to be kind and friendly or else we're all bitches is; say it with me: Misogynistic.
As an outsider who found this video by an anomaly in the youtube recommendations system is that actually a common impression people have of the community? or just what they perceive as the common impression? of course a sample size of one random commenter is nothing to go off of but at the very least thats exactly the opposite of the impression I always had...
@@batenkait0s657 at least anecdotally, it seems to be very common, yeah. in a twisted way it makes sense, i think it's because lolita is *so* feminine, people assume anyone wearing it must be friendly, extroverted and kind to the point of being a doormat - because that's what is widely associated with femininity. which is ofc, as OP said, misogynistic this can also have the effect that if someone with that perception interacts with people wearing lolita and discovers they are,,,, people, with varying dispositions like everyone else, they feel like they're being far ruder/egregious than they actually are just bc they're not adhering to that stereotype. (plus women are already punished for not being feminine™, and i do think that gets magnified if you're presenting very femininely e.g in lolita and thus "sending mixed signals" if you fail to live up to misogynistic ideals) that's my rambling and somewhat tinfoiled impression as to lolitas being assumed to be either simpering sweethearts or hellish bitches (and no inbetween lmao) as a fellow outsider anyway
I was going to get the haenuli dress but they couldn't' even answer any of my questions so i pulled out my pledge. Ignoring customers is an easy way to lose a sale. I'll buy it second hand for cheaper.
Huzzah!!! She has posted!!! Tyler Willis The Queen of Salt Lover of the Frills Speaker of the Big Words Slasher of the Foolish Notion You are greatly appreciated, and I love your content. Hope you and Cameraman are doing great. 😊 Edit: Marshmallow too of course. I can't forget her!
so excited to see you posting again, your content and what you do means a lot to me as it taught me about this fashion i love so much and it is something to look foward to when depresion hits
aside from leaving oneself open to be trolled online is the main issue with the "lolita is just for fun" philosophy mentioned here the act of prescribing that motivation to everyone else in the community and acting based on that? or is it more that someone doing it just for -fun- themselves would have no need to post it online?
My survival guide to the lolita community (alternative title; how to avoid becoming generally disliked); all you have to do is A) not dress like shit, but if you do then you should be open to constructive criticism. We love a redemption arc. B) don't talk shit, not even when you think you are anonymous. C) don't overshare inappropriate things, you are generally safe if you observe the group culture and look at how much other people in that group share and act accordingly D) don't bother responding to hate and getting defensive. E) don't photoshop/edit/filter yourself to a ridiculous degree F) don't go to the lolita subreddit (aka r/lolita), there are too many people there who got banned from the lolita community on other platforms G) don't go to CGL if you are thin skinned, if you can't keep yourself from going to drama sites then please still keep yourself from posting there H) don't talk about politics, even if you're both leftists you being a slightly different flavor of woke than the other person is enough to result in online harassment, stalking, etc There's a small % of people in the community who are genuinely batshit crazy and it's best to not be on their radar. Comm drama lives forever, the comm has a very long memory.
What site / social media would you reccomend for begginers? Im kinda scared to get into my country's facebook group cause its pretty small and i don't wanna end up making major mistakes. Since i want to do more experimental coords with my dresses, but until i learn the rules and understand them i should stay away from that because it will end up in a disaster. Sorry for the long comment.
@@ilikecats9118 That's a very good question and your comment was definitely not too long, don't worry 😄 I completely understand you want to develop basic outfit building skills and get to know the larger online community before you start to get to know your local community. I think this is a good idea. There are also benefits to immediately joining your local comm because you might bond with other beginners there and there might be some established lolitas (lolitas who have a lot of experience with lolita fashion) there who like helping beginners, but there might also be people there who see a beginner and then get annoyed because they assume there's the possibility that they might need to do a lot of "hand holding" (giving information about the basics of coord building, where and how to purchase, etc). I've seen people get annoyed when a comm member asked how to use a taobao shopping service. It's a bit of gamble because you don't know what type of people might be in your local comm. So I think it's safest to get familiar with the basics before joining a local comm. There are several online groups specifically made to help/guide beginners and for beginner questions. There's "Big sisters of lolita fashion" (aka BSOLF) and "lolita fashion mentoring" on fb that I know of. There are also some groups on discord but I don't know the group names, and I also don't know what those groups are like. But keep in mind that with BSOLF anyone can answer a question, including other beginners. My suggestion would be to take any advice given by other beginners with a grain of salt. Even though it is possible to ask any lolita related question there is still a (sometimes unwritten, sometimes it's in the group rules) expectation that people do their own research first by googling their question and then by using the search function of the group itself, and then only asking the question if those sources are not enough. Also keep in mind though that some sources of information online about lolita fashion might be inaccurate or very dated. A lot of the guides were written in the late 2000s and 2010s. Sometimes they were also written by people with beginner level knowledge themselves. There are also informative videos on youtube that might be fun and helpful to watch. But also do not forget to have fun. The beginner friendly groups are good because they are not judgmental, and it is expected that you don't know everything yet.
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 Thank you so much!! I am now waiting to see if im aproved in my local facebook group (i scrolled a bit through the admins pages and they seemed nice ). I picked up sewing as a hobby so i have lots of questions about the anatomy of dresses before trying to do my own. For coords i think ill be fine since i prefer solid colors so i can do some easy matches (i own 2 dresses so for now ill focus on making/aquiring accesories for them). But i still have a problem in a what makes this lolita and this not , with some silhouettes and the aesthetic of dresses in general (i really like old school style but some things from then are now frowned uppon from what ive seen, so that is adding to my uncertainties ) . I think those questions will be cleared with time and experience though. Thanks a lot for everything !!
Now I've seen those Meta dresses, I'm starting to think I might need matching capes for all my coordinates.
Tyler!!!! Your unending snark and relentless petty brings such joy to my life. Thank you for brightening my day! Love your channel 💗
I'm here for Last Month Lolita News! 💖
I’m glad you’re here. I don’t care about your front. You have a soft heart. While your content is very entertaining, I love YOU. Thank you for sticking around. You are loved so much more than you know
Tyler out here looking like a three year old's Easter basket in all the best ways
I love the "lolita's are supposed to be lovelies!!" argument.
No. No we are not.
We are polite at best, venomous at worst.
The expectation that a fashion that caters mostly to women and people presenting as women has to be kind and friendly or else we're all bitches is; say it with me:
Misogynistic.
Stupi--oh, yeah, misogynistic. That's way better than what I was gonna say.
As an outsider who found this video by an anomaly in the youtube recommendations system is that actually a common impression people have of the community? or just what they perceive as the common impression? of course a sample size of one random commenter is nothing to go off of but at the very least thats exactly the opposite of the impression I always had...
@@batenkait0s657 at least anecdotally, it seems to be very common, yeah. in a twisted way it makes sense, i think it's because lolita is *so* feminine, people assume anyone wearing it must be friendly, extroverted and kind to the point of being a doormat - because that's what is widely associated with femininity. which is ofc, as OP said, misogynistic
this can also have the effect that if someone with that perception interacts with people wearing lolita and discovers they are,,,, people, with varying dispositions like everyone else, they feel like they're being far ruder/egregious than they actually are just bc they're not adhering to that stereotype. (plus women are already punished for not being feminine™, and i do think that gets magnified if you're presenting very femininely e.g in lolita and thus "sending mixed signals" if you fail to live up to misogynistic ideals)
that's my rambling and somewhat tinfoiled impression as to lolitas being assumed to be either simpering sweethearts or hellish bitches (and no inbetween lmao) as a fellow outsider anyway
I appreciate the gothic shoutouts. :)
My way to enjoy online community is on the periphery.
0:27 the blue colorway is PERFECT and matched w an AP apron i wore it to be alice from alice in wonderland!!
Omg these dresses you are showing so far are tragically... Um.... Creative 😭
I absolutely love it when Tyler shows up and gracefully kicks me on the chin 😍
MOTHER HAS POSTED
The happy garland comment got me pegged 😭
I was going to get the haenuli dress but they couldn't' even answer any of my questions so i pulled out my pledge. Ignoring customers is an easy way to lose a sale. I'll buy it second hand for cheaper.
Huzzah!!! She has posted!!!
Tyler Willis
The Queen of Salt
Lover of the Frills
Speaker of the Big Words
Slasher of the Foolish Notion
You are greatly appreciated, and I love your content. Hope you and Cameraman are doing great. 😊
Edit: Marshmallow too of course. I can't forget her!
my favorite spicy outlier ❤
so excited to see you posting again, your content and what you do means a lot to me as it taught me about this fashion i love so much and it is something to look foward to when depresion hits
Any day Tyler posts is a great day ^.^
Meta's Rosy Gem got me fucked up.
I thought heat survival guide was going to be a guide to not dying of heat stroke in the summer in this fashion 😂
I was pleasantly surprised.
Someone needs to make Tyler a barbie edit while the blonde hair is still around
My goal is to be a sentient picnic blanket
lol are you included in that last point?
Homie, whatever highlight you're using is looking so good!
Love the video!
i love your videos
i don't even wear lolita but LWLN tickles me. i like seeing someone stick up for their community. and the snark, of course
Omg youre back, i love your videos so much ❤
Ngl, I'm so here for the savory snark being served.
🌈🤗love your videos🦋💖🦋
aside from leaving oneself open to be trolled online is the main issue with the "lolita is just for fun" philosophy mentioned here the act of prescribing that motivation to everyone else in the community and acting based on that? or is it more that someone doing it just for -fun- themselves would have no need to post it online?
love the ongoing mizuiro (aqua colours) trend, but not a fan of dusty pastels 😅
🖤🖤🖤🖤
My survival guide to the lolita community (alternative title; how to avoid becoming generally disliked);
all you have to do is
A) not dress like shit, but if you do then you should be open to constructive criticism. We love a redemption arc.
B) don't talk shit, not even when you think you are anonymous.
C) don't overshare inappropriate things, you are generally safe if you observe the group culture and look at how much other people in that group share and act accordingly
D) don't bother responding to hate and getting defensive.
E) don't photoshop/edit/filter yourself to a ridiculous degree
F) don't go to the lolita subreddit (aka r/lolita), there are too many people there who got banned from the lolita community on other platforms
G) don't go to CGL if you are thin skinned, if you can't keep yourself from going to drama sites then please still keep yourself from posting there
H) don't talk about politics, even if you're both leftists you being a slightly different flavor of woke than the other person is enough to result in online harassment, stalking, etc
There's a small % of people in the community who are genuinely batshit crazy and it's best to not be on their radar. Comm drama lives forever, the comm has a very long memory.
What site / social media would you reccomend for begginers? Im kinda scared to get into my country's facebook group cause its pretty small and i don't wanna end up making major mistakes.
Since i want to do more experimental coords with my dresses, but until i learn the rules and understand them i should stay away from that because it will end up in a disaster. Sorry for the long comment.
@@ilikecats9118 That's a very good question and your comment was definitely not too long, don't worry 😄
I completely understand you want to develop basic outfit building skills and get to know the larger online community before you start to get to know your local community. I think this is a good idea. There are also benefits to immediately joining your local comm because you might bond with other beginners there and there might be some established lolitas (lolitas who have a lot of experience with lolita fashion) there who like helping beginners, but there might also be people there who see a beginner and then get annoyed because they assume there's the possibility that they might need to do a lot of "hand holding" (giving information about the basics of coord building, where and how to purchase, etc). I've seen people get annoyed when a comm member asked how to use a taobao shopping service.
It's a bit of gamble because you don't know what type of people might be in your local comm. So I think it's safest to get familiar with the basics before joining a local comm.
There are several online groups specifically made to help/guide beginners and for beginner questions. There's "Big sisters of lolita fashion" (aka BSOLF) and "lolita fashion mentoring" on fb that I know of. There are also some groups on discord but I don't know the group names, and I also don't know what those groups are like.
But keep in mind that with BSOLF anyone can answer a question, including other beginners. My suggestion would be to take any advice given by other beginners with a grain of salt.
Even though it is possible to ask any lolita related question there is still a (sometimes unwritten, sometimes it's in the group rules) expectation that people do their own research first by googling their question and then by using the search function of the group itself, and then only asking the question if those sources are not enough.
Also keep in mind though that some sources of information online about lolita fashion might be inaccurate or very dated. A lot of the guides were written in the late 2000s and 2010s. Sometimes they were also written by people with beginner level knowledge themselves.
There are also informative videos on youtube that might be fun and helpful to watch.
But also do not forget to have fun. The beginner friendly groups are good because they are not judgmental, and it is expected that you don't know everything yet.
@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 Thank you so much!! I am now waiting to see if im aproved in my local facebook group (i scrolled a bit through the admins pages and they seemed nice ). I picked up sewing as a hobby so i have lots of questions about the anatomy of dresses before trying to do my own. For coords i think ill be fine since i prefer solid colors so i can do some easy matches (i own 2 dresses so for now ill focus on making/aquiring accesories for them). But i still have a problem in a what makes this lolita and this not , with some silhouettes and the aesthetic of dresses in general (i really like old school style but some things from then are now frowned uppon from what ive seen, so that is adding to my uncertainties ) . I think those questions will be cleared with time and experience though.
Thanks a lot for everything !!
Your makeup is very beautiful! ❤️( ╹▽╹ )
God I love you woman.
🤣
*Promosm*
I love dusty pink, and have no self respect, so that tracks ❤😂
Thank you for my life, I stg. You made me want to wear lolita again.
Tip you forgot on how to survive. When your friend ask you not to do something and let them handle it, don't do it lol
Or maybe her "friend" can grow a fucking spine.
It's not like said friend was actually handling it.