In regards to the inherited home vs parents purchasing a home, something that wasn't taken in to consideration is the mental status of the person who inherited the home. She/he lost their parents. They are dealing with grief, stress of the estate and a whole slew of other emotions as well I am sure (I just lost my mum and am running a whole up and down of emotions). I feel the friend was quite the a**hole to bring up the inheritance issue in a public place. I am a very even tempered person but just listening to this story gave me a huge surge of emotions and I would have definitely snapped back and possibly even walked out of the store and left.
Right?! What a weird thing to a) bring up in front of a stranger and b) double down on and get mad about! I would absolutely question my friendship with this type of person! I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. 🤍
100%. unless there is some serious context missing, i honestly can't understand why anyone in the friendship group would think these two were on a 50/50 footing on behaviour. (so sorry to hear about your mum)
Yeah the friend should understand why the person told the store guy why she said she bought it. And I totally understand why they snapped they are probably hurt and confused
That skipping the grade one annoyed me. I heard "let me protect my sons feelings and hinder my daughters education" hits home for me cuz mothers tend to coddle the boys in the family who "aren't as smart" as the daughters
The parent who didn't let their child skip ahead did an update where they had a big family meeting about it and Jonah basically went I don't care she should be in my year, so Emma managed to skip forwards in the end ☺️
It still sad that parents decided to hold daughter back just to not hurt fragile masculinity of their son. I bet they would not be that considerate if it was vice versa - smarter son and not so smart daugher
@@Katielovegood44 she only thought that bc of the comments she was getting on the post. They already had made up their minds that the daughter wasn't going to skip ahead.
@@maryblack2140 well the son is also a child....so fragile masculinity probably isn't the right phrase. I think more along the lines of sibling rivalry, or the feels of inadequacy most young people experience when it comes to school.
Yeah like me. I don't care whether or not I get a gift, but I'd be a little sad if my mum didn't make me a cake (even though I'm an adult) as has been tradition for years, because it would feel like she didn't care about me, not really because of the cake, if that makes sense. Her too. She doesn't care about gifts, but I always make sure to buy or make her something (even just something small) so she has at least one thing to open on her birthday, and I know it makes her quietly really happy that someone bothered despite her saying she doesn't care, like Ben might feel I think.
I agree. I don't have any specific expectations, but I want my partner to at least acknowledge it, whether with a little nicer dinner or dessert, or a small gift, or just something that shows he was thinking of me a little extra that day, but I don't want anything crazy or fancy or extravagant
I don’t give a shit about my birthday. I hate big fuss and definitely do not sing to me! So awkward. My husband is the same way. But, we will go out to dinner or have take out at home and I’ll decorate a bit with candles or something. To make it cozy. And we’ll watch series or a movie while having dinner. During covid last year we both wanted something fun so I actually decorated our balcony with balloons and i put music and we had a BBQ for 2. But it looked like it could be a family party. My bday is coming up and we’re going out to dinner on the day, and to the movie next week (would have gone regardless). As for gifts; neither of us care. And it’s never a surprise either. I’ll tell him hey there’s 2 things I’ve been meaning to get, pick 1 and that’s my gift. Hubby the same. I got him a book that he told me he wanted.
I agree, I don't like getting anything but I just really want someone to like tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning when someone wakes up, idk just shows they care
The grandma one made my blood boil. My grandma wasn’t able to visit our wedding for many reasons (health, long distance etc), but we’d obviously love to see her. Now she’s gone because of coronavirus, and I’m still gutted that she wasn’t there on our special day.
I have been vegetarian for over 10 years and my aunt knowing what that means told me that the sauce she made didn’t have meat in it. It did so I don’t eat at her house anymore
Samee my grandmother gave me soup and told me it had no meat and was just veggies. I found chicken bits in it. I don't eat anything she prepares ever since. People are just so awful sometimes.
Crazy to me how some people are willing to lose trust and respect from their family members just because they don"t agree about something that doesnt affect them
@@katya3805 imagine thinking that your grandmother has to change her cooking just because YOU no longer eat meat. If you want something without meat, make it yourself, it’s as simple as that. That’s why it’s called a LIFESTYLE, because it’s YOUR life that’s changing, not hers.
regarding wife vs shorts- it's really odd that she's offended by something between her partner's attire and his mom's presence..but like offended..for them? or what? like, its pretty casual to run downstairs in your sleepwear around your parents. if they were pressuring her to change HER comfort level, it'd be different, but it's about them and between them and he pretty predictably was feeling weird about her insistence in the issue..non issue lol
I agree it's wrong but I also feel like it stems in a really weirdly "traditional" family dynamic growing up, where the OP probably wasn't allowed to wear shorts or anything remotely revealing around her family, so now she finds it weird that her husband does it. Basically, her family were creeps growing up, probably making it into a sexual thing, so now she thinks showing your thighs to your family is inherently sexual and therefore inappropriate.
@@thespankmyfrank oh I could absolutely see that being the case! But it's the inability to communicate this with her partner without condemning him and being upset that this doesnt resonate as an issue with him and his family. That's not fair, maybe difficult for her, but not fair to him either. I'm sure they'd have loved to just have her join them for breakfast that day rather than feeling this divide
It's his mom. She's seen him in his underwear for many years. She is family and it shows comfort. I think most people would feel comfortable doing this around their immediate family, if they do that. The woman will need to adapt to her boyfriend/husband. Just because she's uncomfortable, doesn't mean he has to change, when it's a dynamic that doesn't involve her (between him and his mother).
Right?? It’s not like the mom is coming in the room and the poster is feeling uncomfortable being in her sleepwear around the mom…. Her husband left the room to help his mom with something. If he’s comfortable with that, that’s his own decision.
Yeah, her reaction is unreasonable. It's irrational that "being raised conservatively" would mean that her husband, well removed from her presence, would "need" to be fully dressed around his mother, who's seen every square inch of him and is comfortable with him being in "shorts". I would recommend that the poster seek therapy (honestly, shouldn't everyone) because there's clearly a lot of baggage she's holding onto from her childhood that is not serving her well. I've met people before (feels like most people, these days) who cannot have a discussion about anything... their fallback position is always "well it makes me uncomfortable (even though it literally does not affect me), so it's wrong".
@@ninaasf-ck She may need therapy, or probably even just practice and coaching about being in relationship. I wonder if she's young, and this is the first time she's been exposed to a boyfriend that does this? It's a big growing up moment for her, I guess, seeing that other people's families may function differently? I agree with you, some folks just think if it makes them uncomfortable, it must be wrong, instead of exploring that idea, that there are multiple ways to live life.
I don't think she would react the same way if it were his father for instance. But maybe with not immediate family I can kinda understand. Seems very controlling though
Also, it's probably not even underwear because she kept writing "shorts" and then specified that he should wear "pants/jeans" instead, which at least leads me to believe that it's more likely he was wearing gym shorts to bed- that's really not that odd.
As a "gifted" kid, I agree with that parent given the context I have. Skipping a grade is difficult socially (especially in middle school GOOD GOD) and there are better ways to socialize kids in mixed age groups than the rigid school enviornment. I get that she's grumpy, but one day she'll be 25 and probably realize that graudating high shcool at 17 wouldn't have made much of a difference aside from making it so she can't go out and do things that peers can do because she's a year younger.
I totally agree with Cristine’s stand on the gifted program. I was in gifted and it was so detrimental to my mental health. The pressure to always be smart is not a good thing young minds. I would often beat myself up or feel stupid if I didn’t get a high grade like the rest of my gifted friends or scared to ask for clarification on something I didn’t understand because I didn’t want to look dumb. The kids who weren’t in gifted also hated us and made fun of us because the teachers put us up on a pedestal (which probably made them feel less than and is why they acted out). Now I’m high school and the fact that I was in gifted in middle school doesn’t mean shit because now it’s just about going to AP classes and getting credits for college.
As an Ontario teacher I can confirm that gifted classes still exist but sometimes gifted students are placed in “regular classrooms” and just given the extensions and side projects to challenge them. I personally like this approach better because it helps lessen the divide with the “gifted” label which was definitely a social issue when I was growing up in the 90s/2000s.
I shared classes with my sister when we were in 7/8th grade, just because the school was really small. The main issue is getting compared alot by your teachers and friends. Sometimes it was fine but it got difficult if we were mad at each other cause we couldn't talk to our friends about it because we all knew eachother. If you don't have a great relationship with your siblings, it's tricky having a lot of mutual friends cause you don't want them involved in family drama .
The shorts issue: Shes well aware how her “conservative” perspective was clouding her judgement but still imposes her beliefs on her husband and mum in law who were okay with the situation. Stop imposing your beliefs on people like damn
In the American South gifted programs were used to re-segregate integrated schools after Brown V. Board of Education. The legacy that this leaves on these programs is still visible today with black and brown students being majorly under represented in them. Knowing Better has a good video about the history of all this but there are lots of other sources that are well worth examining.
If I had to sit at a table with a bunch of 6 year olds, I'd just ask them about the things they like. I've always liked it when older ppl ask my generation about the things we're into, and by that I mean when they genuinely ask to learn, keeping an open mind.
Love this response. Don’t discount how cool it may be for your younger family members to get to interact with an adult!! Adults paying kids attention is almost always their favorite.
Good picks, Ben! This one was the most enjoyable for me yet, usually these episodes just make me mad at how awful people are, but these ones were thought-provoking, as you said.
about the kid skipping a grade, I find the mother's reasoning bad but skipping a grade really isn't all the great a lot of the time, you miss out on information, like it's one thing if she is capable of moer than other kids but just being able to do more younger doesn't mean you know more. A gifted kid still needs to be told certain things, even if they can learn and understand things quicker. But more importantly it's a huge disdurbance to their social life and always being the youngest can be difficult too, academic maturity isn't the same as social maturity. I knew some kids who skipped grades young and most of them regretted it in the end, not saying it can never work out but personally I find the whole concept stupid.
Totally agree, I have younger family members who skipped grades and now they're in high school and struggling! Not just academically, but also socially because they're younger than everyone. Just because you can handle more doesn't mean you should!!
100% I think if a kid's bored in school and getting easy A's they should just find a hobby to fill that free time with. Filling up all that extra time with more school doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But introducing something new, like sports, dance, art, music, or even something related to achademics like quiz bowl or debate, can help a kid become more well rounded and let them meet other kids their age who have similar interests.
Agreed! There are lots of reasons why skipping ahead may not be right for someone - social/friends, personal and emotional development, missing out on parts of the curriculum, finishing school early (or having to do a year twice which is what they mostly do here!), choice of teachers, pressure/free time to do other things etc etc.
Yeah 100% agree! There's a lot more to school and your grade than just the academic material you're being taught, a lot of kids that move up a grade really struggle as they are do not fit in with their classmates - they're at different developmental stages
In my HS they had different levels (with different GPA ranges) for the core classes - Honors, A, B, C. There was only 1 honors class and 2 A level classes for some subjects, with an unofficial high A and low A This affected the rest of your scheduling, since those are fixed points in your schedule. When I was moved up a level in math, it just threw my whole social life out of whack. And they provided ZERO help to catch up on the material I missed.
Today was a horrible day for me. I was having suicidal thoughts and didn't sleep well. This video kept my mind busy and genuinely made me feel better. Thank you.
When I was young I was also tested for gifted but because my parents did not follow up with them, I was not selected to be in the program. It’s interesting how it’s more so based on whether the parents push for it or not rather than actual skill. In high school we read a book called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell that discussed what makes people gifted in a particular thing. It was an interesting read and exposed a lot of how gifted programs and holding students back a year can affect their performance.
The gifted program is so interesting! it's very different in the Maritimes (when I was young, no idea what it's like now). There were 3 streams: functional, academic, and advanced placement. Functional was acceptable for trades and usually folks who failed out of academic, academic was required for university, and advanced placement allowed you x amount of university credit hours. There wasn't assessment for it. If you had a score above 93% you could request to go advanced placement in that specific class. The class was largely made up of the smart athletic kids with parents who lived in the one fancy suburb in the area. (They did have good grades, but there was a super clear class divide.) In my friend group most people couldn't get into them. two of us were in AP, but I only went advanced English because I didn't want to do pre-calc. Most people were not envious because it was something like 1 university credit you got and was only available for grade 11 (pre-AP) and 12 (AP)
For the one abt the kid's table, one of the reasons why they may have wanted the poster to sit with the kids is so that the poster would babysit while the "adults" could drink and have fun. This has happened to me many times and i am automatically the babysitter since i am the oldest of my cousins who are considerably younger than me. My aunts and uncles saw me as a way for them to talk with the other adults without having to pay much mind to the kids, as i was the one trying to keep them in their seats and whatnot. Felt pretty tired after a family gathering all the time bc of that
I live in Ontario and am in high school now, the way gifted works now is you have to be recommended by a teacher and the test is very different. My brother (a year younger than me) was tested in grade 3 because he was bored in class and causing trouble, he was designated as gifted and went to another school which had the program. My teacher (I had the same teacher for grade 4 and 5) heard my brother changed schools for gifted and pushed to get me tested as well. The test was mostly to determine how you think, from what I remember you had this puzzle where they gave you an image you had to replicate with these colourful block things and explain the meanings of a list of random words. I’m sure there was more but it was a while ago (going into grade 12 now). I also got gifted but they wanted to send me to a different school than my brother and wouldn’t bus me so I stayed where I was. My high school still has a gifted program, but it’s all people who were testing back in grade 3 and don’t necessarily want to be there anymore.
To provide insights on the skipping the grade thing, I really really feel for the girl, I wasn’t held back because of my sister, it was in-fact never offered for me to skip a year because that’s not how the school system in my country works, but my older sister is just one school year above me (but almost two years older) and skipping a year would have been awkward. However, I was quite bright and did eventually skip my year 12 to go straight into year 13 and for the last year of high school I was in the same year as my older sister, and graduated with much better grades than her, which caused a lil tension and awkwardness. it was for the most part pretty awesome, similar scenario as we shared a lot of classes as small school. However, parts of it sucked and if we hadn’t been so close already it would’ve been hell.
I have a cousin and when he was 6 he had hundreds of cards. When I would babysit I'd ask him to show me his cards. For hours on end he'd go through each individual card and tell me what he likes about them. It kept him busy all day
As a current gifted and talented teacher I can tell you the whole “gifted” thing is not about who has richer parents or access to more materials WHERE I LIVE. It is more so about how the students think. These gifted kids think about things waaaayyy differently than other students and they need to be guided in a more structured manner than their academic counter parts. It is really evident when you talk to the kids and look at the actual work they are asked to do in class. Many of them would struggle in a mainstream class because they would a) not be challenged and become bored or b) struggle because the material is not designed with them in mind. For example my gifted students absolutely struggle with multiple choice tests, however, given the opportunity to explain their answers they all thrive. It just is a difference in thinking patterns and catering to those patterns to help the student grow.
That’s funny, because I don’t know anyone (including myself) who prefers multiple choice tests over open question tests where you get to justify your answer, gifted or not! MCQs straight up suck! 😂
Hi! Present day gifted and immersion student here. For some context, I live in the US and I've been in a Spanish immersion program ever since kindergarten and a kind of gifted program (I'll explain why kind of later on) since 4th grade when I moved to a new school. I was tested (I agree with Cristine, that was 100% traumatic. I recall even not trying very hard on the math test because I didn't want to be in the class) and later put into what in my region is called AIG (academically and/or intellectually gifted students), for both math and English. In that class we basically were pulled out of class once a week for about 45 minutes a day to do projects. To be honest, it was sometimes interesting but at the time I'd rather be in my actual classes than there, which was seperate from the rest of my peers (can create division and foster resentment in the student body; not hat great) That lasted up till middle school (6th grade ~11 years old is the start of middle school in my state) where I was put in an advanced math class that is a very fast paced class that teaches both 6th grade, 7th grade and some 8th grade math. Thing is, to be put in this class, everyone who wanted to was tested, but if you were in the math AIG you were automatically put in that class, as was I. I had one friend who didn't get in by just one or two points on the test. He's still slightly salty about that to this day, but not so much after seeing how much I suffered in that class. At this point AIG became a seperate thing that my parents deemed not worth it and didn't sign me up for. Then, in 7th grade, if you didn't fail that class, you were put in Math 1, which teaches 9th grade (high school level here) math, at around 12 years old. Personally, this was extremely difficult for me because it was during virtual learning; I have no idea how I passed that class. Now, I'm in 8th grade (13 years old) learning 10th grade math in a class called Math 2. And I've got to be honest, if I pay attention (which can be really hard, thanks ADHD) and am awake enough to use my brain, most of the time that class is not that hard. But who knows, I've only just started the school year. The whole purpose of this, at least from my parents' point of view, is that when I'm in high school I'll be doing college level classes, which means when I go to college I'll be able to take less classes and focus on the stuff I actually choose to study. If you look at the top of my comment, you see that this started in 4th grade. The pressure is insane, it nearly crushed me last year during the height of the pandemic when I wasn't able to enjoy the good part of school, which is seeing my friends. Despite all of this, I loathe math class and have no plans to become a natural scientist (anthropology, sociology and psychology do hold some interest for me) which truly proves that just because you're good at something doesn't mean you'll enjoy it. I still believe that the main reason for me getting into this advanced class was because I was lucky enough to have a stay at home mom with an education advanced enough to help me out, along with out of school math classes (not tutoring exactly, but math nevertheless). I think without that, I'd just be one of those kids with potential who never "applied themselves" because I despise math.
6:49 In regards to the post about the mother not allowing her child to skip a grade, I definitely think there was a better way to handle the situation. TLDR: the son may have a learning disability, and he shouldn't be babied or ashamed or told to work harder if that's the case, and even if it isn't, I think OP's decision is only exacerbating the real issue, which is that both children are viscerally aware of the difference between their academic performances/abilities, and that is perceived as a bad thing partly because of the way their parents treat each child differently. I also think that labeling kids as "gifted" and gifted programs in general are a lot more harmful than they are helpful. Saying that the son should have worked harder in the sixth grade in order to not repeat is almost definitely incorrectly placing blame on the child's motivation to put effort into his schoolwork, rather than on the student's teachers and parents to not recognize his struggles earlier in the year (or in earlier years of school) and tried to get to the root of the issue rather than blaming poor performance on laziness or lack of effort when that is probably not the reason/only reason for getting low marks. In the sixth grade, if a student is performing poorly enough to have to repeat the grade, it is a very likely possibility that that is the result of an undiagnosed learning disability. LDs are a LOT more common than people think they are, and the reason that most people don't realize how common they are is that it is very common for LDs to go undiagnosed for many years if they are ever diagnosed, and public school districts are extremely resistant to providing the required legal services to students with LDs, and they will almost always go out of their way to hide signs of a learning disability in students from parents or antagonize students that perform poorly as being simply lazy or stupid when in reality, a significant amount of students that struggle in early school years is not the result of a lack of effort or intelligence, but the result of their brain processing information in an atypical way that the general curriculum does not accommodate for. About 20% of children under the age of 18 in the US have an LD or ADHD (that's approximately 14,840,000 children) and no public school teacher in the US is required to have any amount of understanding of LDs or attention/behavior disorders and how they affect a student's ability to learn, or any amount of training on how to recognize early signs of LDs, or how to teach to children with LDs. (I did a huge report on education policy in the US surrounding LDs last semester lol). A lot of case studies show that 70-90% of teachers have absolutely no understanding of what LDs are and how they work (e.g. one case study recorded that 80% of teachers surveyed incorrectly believing dyslexia is related to blindness, seeing words backwords, or letters jumping around on the page, 90% believing LDs are caused by low IQ, autism, or deafness, and 70% believing LDs are not real, and poor academic performance is always the result of laziness. Just for reference, the definition of a learning disability is that there is a significant gap between a person's IQ and their ability to perform basic academic functions, such as reading, writing, and basic math, which is the result of the person's brain processing specific information in a way that is different to a neurotypical person--dyslexia, for instance, means the brain processes language in a different way than a neurotypical person, so the conventional methods of teaching someone with dyslexia how to read will not work effectively because their brain simply does not process language in the way that the curriculum assumes it does. By definition, a learning disability REQUIRES that a person has average or above-average intelligence to be diagnosed with an LD; otherwise, they would be diagnosed with an Intellectual Disability (disability characterized by IQ below 75). Another study recorded that 33% of surveyed teachers said that teaching students LDs were "not their responsibility," many said teaching LDs students is no different than teaching non-LD students, and 100% of teachers had little to no idea of what an effective teaching method for a student with any type of specific LD would be.) Suffice to say, LDs are very common, however, public schools rarely know how to recognize or handle them, and when they do recognize them, it is not uncommon for them to hide clear and early signs of LDs so they won't have to invest the time and money into working one-on-one with the student and their parents to design and follow an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) throughout a student's entire academic career through kindergarten to 12th grade. This is 100% illegal on all accounts, but virtually impossible to catch or prove without knowing your child has an LD--most parents in this situation never do, and if they do they will discover it very late in the child's academic career when it is almost too late to do anything. At large, the same amount of parents have little to no understanding or even awareness of LDs, what they are, how they present themselves, how to help, etc., so if a teacher or administrator does not tell them they suspect their student has an LD or recommend that they get tested, most parents will never know or even consider the possibility, so unless parents are able to PROVE that their child has an LD, public school districts will never ever be caught for not providing LD students with the services and special education they are legally required to provide. SO MANY LD students fall through the cracks of the public education system in the US and are labeled as lazy or problem children because teachers/administrators/special ed. teachers either don't know how to recognize and help LD students or knowingly try to avoid providing the legally required services by hiding very clear signs of LDs (clear if you know what you're looking for that is) and it is an issue that is really only known by parents and children that are affected by it and have had to do their own research on LDs and get their children outside help. Sort of a long tangent lol but LDs are literally called the "Invisible Disability" by parents whose children have LDs and never receive sufficient support because it is such an unrecognized issue that actually affects a HUGE portion of the population and it just frustrates me so much that so many people get screwed over by the system, knowingly or by accident, simply because people don't know or care about LDs, and those who do only do so because they have personal experience with it, and usually aren't in any position to do anything about it.
This is somewhat unrelated, but to Ben's question about whether gifted programs are controversial, I would say that gifted programs and labeling children as gifted, etc., while they have good intentions, are FAR more harmful to most gifted kids than they are beneficial in the long run. I was a "gifted child," although my school district didn't have a gifted program, and now that I'm older, I've found that I, as well as most young adults now that grew up as "gifted kids," now feel like I am a burnt-out underachiever. (I think this video really eloquently explains the issue with labeling kids as gifted and the way it actually takes people who have above-average intelligence and essentially just gives them more problems and leads to them being less successful as adults than people who have average or below-average intelligence and weren't labeled as gifted: ua-cam.com/video/QUjYy4Ksy1E/v-deo.html). I was often bored with the work in school, and after middle school decided to apply to a competitive private school nearby and did extremely well there as well; I was part of a lot of honor societies, took only High Honors and AP classes, etc., and often also found that while the workload was heavy and the pace was much more accelerated than my public school, the content was still manageable enough for me to get very high grades. I definitely worked very very hard, but all in all, I have always been considered "gifted" and not really having to put any effort in school to do well. I am 18 now and am a freshman at a very selective and competitive college in the states. The name of my school carries a lot of recognition and prestige and that is definitely a point of pride for my family (it is considered a "little Ivy" in college rankings); my parents love telling people where I go to school and whenever I come home, they tell me about people's reactions to me going to such a prestigious and competitive school. And while I am very proud to have worked hard enough to go to a well-known school and I really love what I am learning here, since my senior year of high school, I have felt extremely burnt-out and have actually been struggling a lot in college to perform at the same extremely high academic level that I and others have held me to my whole life. I know that I'm smart and capable of doing high-level work, but being expected by parents, teachers, and even other peers to get straight As and a 4.0 with minimal effort, get into an Ivy League school, become the next President, etc., my entire life is VERY stressful, and is honestly one of the main things that has driven me to work so hard and the main reason that I've achieved so much academically. Sometimes it's hard not to feel like being "gifted" makes you a sort of trophy child for your parents to show off to their peers (I've especially felt this with the recent name-dropping of my college since I've started). I think it's definitely one of the contributing factors to "gifted" children, including myself, having worsening mental health as they get older and people's baseline expectations get bigger and harder. to achieve. I personally have been struggling a lot with finding the motivation and energy I used to have to produce A+ level schoolwork at a competitive college level, and it's honestly embarrassing and discouraging with my reputation as a "genius/gifted child" to be academically struggling so much. Anyway, my point is, I think labeling kids as "gifted" is ultimately useless. If a child is "gifted," they have the capacity to perform very well and achieve a lot academically whether they are given this label (and the expectations that come along with it) or not. The intense pressure gifted programs put on very young children is completely unnecessary and in my opinion, will either not significantly affect the child, or be very detrimental, but it will not significantly help children in any meaningful capacity in the long run. I mean does skipping the seventh grade or being in the gifted program in the second grade really mean your child is going to get into Harvard? On the other hand, is it impossible for your child to get into Harvard if they didn't do those things?
Me and my sister are exactly a year apart, both with late august birthdays. At least in the US, august/September birthdays are the cutoff for which grade you'll be in. My parents were considering putting my and my sister in the same grade, with her being sightly older in her class and me being younger. To test this, they put us in the same preschool, and my parent's ended up not enjoying the dynamic. So, instead, they had me do a second year a preschool and let my sister move up to kindergarten. I'm really glad they made that choice, because I think it would have been too competitive feeling if we were in the same classes for all those years.
Re: the kids table vs adult table, this is why my family started having to have a kids table, a young adult table (like high school-college ish age), and then an adult table (the ones with kids and grandparents and such)
I sat at the kids' table with my cousins every holiday until my grandma died. My oldest cousin was 34 at the time and I was 22. One of my cousins already had a baby. It truly is the best table. Our parents always argued about everything, why did we want to be a part of that?
Thank you for this! We’re unpacking our house after moving across the county, ok… I’m unpacking while my husband is at work. Thanks for keeping me company!
former gifted kid here i was in gifted and talented when I was in elementary and also won several art awards but when I got to middle school I failed the middle school gifted test as well as the test for a gifted program in hs. I felt ashamed and stupid for not being gifted my whole academic career and the overall experience hurt me. I think it also kept me from getting an adhd diagnosis
i was in a gifted program in a super elite private school in the US from first grade through eight grade (and then i took AP/advanced classes at another elite private high school lmao) and i’m still working through the baggage that left me with in therapy. i was on a full ride scholarship at both schools i went to (i went to the same school for preschool/elementary/middle school and the another for high school), and the combined stress of having to get good enough grades to keep that scholarship and stay in the gifted program on top of the stress to live up to the unspoken expectations set by my incredibly smart older sister and our parents absolutely crushed me. i managed to get A’s and B’s pretty much across the board, but i’ve never been academic (im studying film at an art school now) and i found out in my senior year of high school that i had severe undiagnosed ADHD that i never got help for. all of that combined with a shitty home environment and anxiety/depression gave me a LOT of issues, and i honestly wish that i hadn’t been set on that accelerated academic course at such a young age because i really couldn’t consent to it or understand the level of responsibility i was signing myself up for. there’s a lot more stuff that contributed to how shitty my school experience was, but tl;dr gifted/talented programs suck, imo. in my experience, they put way too much stress on young kids and teach them to equate their worth with their academic success or lack thereof.
Here's the thing that really bothered me about the mother who wouldn't let her daughter skip a grade. She didn't ask either kid before making a decision. Those kids are old enough to have an opinion, what if the brother didn't care. What if he wanted what was best for his sister?
There was an update on the reddit post. The parents DID ask both kids what they wanted, the older brother said he was okay with whatever his younger sister decided, and the younger sister was able to skip ahead. I'm glad that both parents came to their senses, and both kids were taken care of.
Gifted classes are still a big thing for us in the US all my friends took the test and got in. I didn’t get in because I transferred into the school after the tests were taken, my friends now have all Ap classes but most of them say they regret getting into the gifted program, because of all the pressure
I leave in iran, and we have such programs and exams at the beginning of each educational period which is such a traumatic situation and mostly kids, teenagers, and even university students get depressed.
The scone stream was a lot of fun, you should do another recipe but maybe a tea flavored scone or banana one. Also, i found it hilarious when everyone was angry about the kneading.
More than what you guys said about the “friend” who is jealous of the person who inherited the home - I bet that person sure would rather have their parents alive than have that house. It’s a really weird thing to be jealous of, and that “friend” is no friend.
That employee at the target or whatever probably doesn’t own his own house. IMAGINE not having anything close to a house and hearing these people argue about who is more disadvantaged when they both have houses they did not pay for 😂
I mean, clearly OP’s parents had passed away recently (and perhaps tragically since it seems that they both died at the same time), so I wouldn’t say she’s “arguing that she’s less privileged 😂”…
in the uk you’re given tests based on your skill level so you’re guaranteed to get a good grade so foundation test or a higher test on the same subject but questions are either easier or harder. in secondary you’re put in classes with people of a similar level so i’m not sure whether we would need gifted classes here
On the “gifted class thing”. In the UK in high school (age 11-16) there are setted classes. E.g there are 8 classes for each subject and class 1 is the “smart” kids and set 8 is bottom! It’s usually based on exams and behaviour in classes :) In primary school (age 4-11) it’s usually just everyone mixed
My twin sister and I are the eldest of 8 cousins with 5 years between us and the next eldest being our brother. The fight for the adult table is real ...we are 24 and both about to be married sitting with 19-6 year olds lol. The picnic story hit deep 😅
Aahhhh gifted discourse! When I was in grade 7 I finally got my dyslexia diagnosis but also labels as 2E (twice exceptional or someone with a learning disorder and gifted). I was in gifted for a year and it did help a lot with my grades because it was faster pase. There is not a doubt in my mind that most gifted kids had some sort of neurodivergencie.
About the kids table one the OP mentions it’s been a while since the whole family has been able to get together so I feel like another part of the aunt saying she can’t sit with the adults is basically saying OP can’t be part of the catching up and visiting and implying that at least she (the aunt) doesn’t want her to participate in that part. Other family members agreeing kind of sends the message they don’t see how isolating that could be for the OP which sounds like a really sucky situation to be in. Leaving may seem like a really disruptive decision and maybe it is but it’s hard because it seems like short of that everyone was just going to ignore her and she would be the one who has to bottle up her own feelings of being disrespected
French immersion schools here in Canada are themselves controversial. They've been know to deliberately turn away students because they would drop the GPA. There are other issues with them as well.
I almost was in the gifted program but I missed it by only a few points. It used to be a big deal in the states but I don't know anymore. I remember they just sent this letter home with us and told us that only our parents could read it. I had a really pushy bad friend at the time who forced me to read it on the bus to our after-school care. I didn't even understand what it meant. She being the kind of person she was told me it meant they were gonna send me to the "special" kid class aka the class for mentally and/or physically disabled kids(yeah that girl was evil). My parents later told me what it really meant. When I took the test I still didn't quite understand what the point was and it was long and boring so I didn't answer some questions
In my town rural in Quebec I don't remember having a Gifted program. We had Music concentration or English immersion from grade 6 to Secondary 3 (Grade 10 for the rest of canada).
My parents decided not to let me skip an early grade because they were concerned about me not having adequate social skills for that (because it was an early grade). That I can see if a parent had this concern. I ended up failing my first year of high school because of mental health reasons and it was good that I was able to reset myself that year. If I had the stress of having to "be better" all the time and excel at "everything" at a higher level it would have been even harder. I think they made the right choice (I had depression and other issues even young, I started therapy at 10). But after I stayed back I was able to become an honor roll student again. I missed my entire first year of high school so it's not like I really repeated it. But what I'm saying is yes there are legitimate reasons for holding a child back from doing that. But my sister's comfort level in how far ahead of her I was not part of that conversation. I was in the gifted programs btw and my parents regret it because they think that they are just pressure on the kids to overperform for no real reason.
We definitely have gifted classes in Louisiana, or at least we did when I was in primary and middle school. I think it was based on your GPA and a teacher's recommendation for you to be in a gifted class and you still had to take an entry exam. It also led into middle school with taking high school classes and it pretty much impacts the rest of your schooling through high school whether you're placed in accelerated classes or not. I think it's far less common for students to skip grades than it is for students to be placed in accelerated learning classes
For the wedding, I agree with Cristine. The grandmother should be able to go to both and if she decides to leave the reception, then she should leave. If she needs help, then she should have other ppl help her than the bride and groom. Speaking of, my hubs and I got married and we barely remember anything. We have talked about at 5 or 10 years (next year is 5) having a tinier version and do a vow renewal. But we had children and old ppl at our party and from pictures it looks like they had more fun than we did lol 😂 but we didn’t have an open bar or byob. You shouldn’t be getting wasted on your wedding night. Someone else’s, sure. But you don’t want to be throwing up all over your $1,000+ gown, your wedding venue, and then wake up and be dying on your first day of your honeymoon! Lol 😂
at my new zealand primary school we had to be specially selected to take the ‘gifted’ test and i was chosen as well as a few of my classmates. I remember being very upset that some classmates who i knew did not do as well as me in school got in and i did not. I later found out that i didn’t get in because I was too logical and the class was for artistic and creative kids and all they did in the class was crafts.
I remember being so frustrated with my gifted program. I was a very high achieving student, but never passed the gifted test. I was always so sad about this, and was thankful in 7th grade when gifted was no longer a thing.
I was actually homeschooled in my early life. When my brothers and I joined public school, we had to get tested to see what grade levels we were at. Based on age, we estimated that my older brother would be in 9th grade and I would be in 7th grade. We both ended up in 8th grade with a nearly identical schedule, and we were fine! I did better in most classes, but he always blew me out of the water in math and problem-solving situations, and he made friends faster and easier than me. Being in the same grade as my brother didn't have any negative effects on either of us; most people thought we were twins even though we said we weren't year after year
Now I’m wondering how my school decided which kids would go into the gifted program, because I just got a letter before fourth grade saying I was in it and to my knowledge I hadn’t done any testing. There were only ever five of us, and we only did separate stuff from our class for maybe an hour or two a day.
I was in a similar situation as the siblings. I was always in gifted and advanced placement classes. My sister and I are 2 grades apart but almost 3 years in age. I started school early. In high school we did end up in the same classes and my sister really struggled with it. My mother tried to make it easier for her, but it didn't work. I basically did her and her friend's homework to get her to be ok with me in the same class.
In NY ive never seen a gifted program option be offered, usually the teacher has to recommend the student into it. Parents cant advocate for their kids to get into it just because it “makes them smarter” that can be such a toxic environment for a kid who isn’t learning up to the speed of the gifted kids. I was in the gifted program and we were ahead but i don’t necessarily think it was kids who were ahead i think it was just a term to divide kids who learn in different ways. Everyone in my class learned by ourselves after being taught the topic while everyone in my old class (non gifted) needed everything kind of spelled out for them which is NORMAL cus that’s how actual teaching works which is why although our class was big we only had one teacher cus they really only went around and made sure we were working okay and would very rarely have go teach something out (usually for me with division cus it stressed me out)
I keep lists in my phone of my family and friends favorite foods and sometimes what they order because i will never remember otherwise. I make an effort, but never have i gotten anything other than appreciation. If someone asked me to pick something up and specified something in writing and I got it wrong despite their specifics, and they were paying for it, and they somehow felt they couldn't eat it (maybe a food allergy that I should have known about and didn't actively participate in trying to keep them from getting sick), they have every reason to be upset, even if i had no obligation to pick up their food and was doing it solely out of kindness.
My wife's grandma is narcissistic and absolutely would take over a wedding to suit her needs. And there are plenty of enablers in her family that would help grandma take over.
I had a teacher in 6th grade tell me I was stupid. So I didn’t do ANY homework and managed to hide it from my parents for 1/2 the year. I wish I’d tried to prove her wrong rather than be spiteful. It set me back a school year. I had to Homeschool to make it up. And didn’t actually believe I wasn’t stupid until university when I worked hard and got all A’s.
There are still gifted programs in elementary school but in middle school and high school it’s honors classes which are more advanced. There are lots of studies on how honors classes effect students both in and out these classes. A student in my grade for a project wrote about this and got our school to get rid of honors English for at least a year.
Some of my younger friends have tried to suggest I'm having it easy because I will be getting the house when my mom dies. But the part they like to ignore is the fact I'm literally taking care of my elderly parent while putting my life on hold and then have to completely fix up a house that has been treated poorly for decades. I don't get a free house like people seem to be treating it. I'm putting in decades of work and getting a house I have to instantly flip while living in it at the same time as handling funeral arrangements. Every single time someone says "Well, I don't just GET a house" I totally want to smack them upside the head. But then again I lost my father two decades ago and my mother is in her mid-70's and so for these people who say these things they often have parents who are only just hitting middle age and they have zero comprehension of how upside-down your life can become when a parent falls ill and needs round the clock care especially when it is a sudden thing such as a stroke or heart attack that leaves them bedridden.
With the kids table thing, I think there's also the connotation is that the person is a women. The idea that women need to get married/have kids as like, a rite of passage into adulthood is a thing with the older gen. Edit: op was a male so it doesn't apply here but I still stand by my point that women are expected to get married/have kids before they're treated as "real adults" a lot.
@@haleighboese9276 @melowl 98 oh, then yeah, that doesn't apply here, sorry 😭. I kinda just put things on and listen to them, so I wasn't really reading it.
The woman in the last story doesn’t mean boxer shorts or any kind of underwear, she literally just means regular shorts. There are religious groups that forbid shorts. My father’s family was Pentecostal when he was growing up (an extremely strict denomination of evangelicals) and he wasn’t allowed to wear shorts even as a kid. Yes it is absolutely ridiculous. They also don’t let women wear anything but skirts and dresses, women can’t cut or dye their hair, they can’t wear makeup, and some aren’t allowed to watch tv.
With the gifts. My first thought is he was mad because now he feels obliged to give her gifts for her birthday, meaning they have to be together until her birthday. It reminded me of how I was so mad when I got the first guy I ever dated this nice set of dice for his birthday and like a week later he dumped me. I still haven’t bought metal dice for myself! I was so annoyed. So maybe he has the reverse where he’s annoyed because he might not be taking the relationship too seriously just yet and now he feels like he owes her birthday presents so he has to stick around until then. Still weird though. I know when I start seeing a guy and we talk about birthdays or Christmas and they start talking about what to get me I’m like, woah, chill. And if I start seeing someone and their birthday is coming up very early into the relationship they aren’t likely to get much from me as far as an expensive gift goes, but I’ll spend time with them, which is my top love language anyway so imo it’s more valuable. And if they wanna do an activity that costs money like bowling or something I’m happy to bc it’s about the time and not the money or material item. I remember when I broke up with my last boyfriend that I was freaking out because he had been talking about what he was gonna get me for Christmas. It was a mutual break but even so I was like, you didn’t get anything right? I would’ve felt so bad lol.
I just have to say, I related so much to the girl whose parents wouldn’t let her skip a grade. I had the same situation regarding my sibling and parents refusing to let me skip a grade for years. I wound up skipping 5th grade because the school ran out of ideas for handling me. I’m 27 now and if I could go back, I wouldn’t do it due to not only the social problems, but the concept of skipping a grade to make a child more average just younger is kind of flawed. I’ve just never heard of someone else who hasn’t initially allowed to skip a grade due to siblings.
I can only speak for Southeastern Pennsylvania public schools but in my experience with my kids they seem to be acknowledging much more than they do when I was little because I was going to get to figure when I was in kindergarten and I stayed in all the way through high School. Now the acknowledge it much more as being a special education program instead of an accelerator program. Initially it was just about how much information or trivia you could cram into your kid's head that that would mean they should be in the gift of program when the whole point was It was supposed to be for children who learned in a different way that often translated to them doing better academically. And yeah we got very bored and in regular classes. But the simple fact they're using a standardized test to serve as a metric for getting kids into his ridiculous. Especially considering one of the things that give the children struggle with the most is standardized testing to do pretty poorly on the SAT or the act the first couple times around just because of that it's not how our brains work. So now it's more focused on catering to that in a way that makes learning not only fun but far more effective than it would be able to just in regular courses. But do you remember in high school there was a big issue with the difference between gifted students and say kids on the honor roll or an AP. Because they would be studying constantly and we would just be able to kind of sail through but at the same time we wouldn't be able to handle like the PSAT and the yeah decisions were flying about favoritism and cheating. In reality it's just no our brains are broken in ways that make us smarter but also stupid on some aspects. Like incredibly ineffective savants lol.
So in my school it was decided whether you were gifted in class 6 (which is when you’re like 12) and not in any year after that. During that time, I didn’t give a crap about school, I honestly faced bullying and was struggling with coming out and finding out who I was. At the point of grade 8, I started getting really motivated and more disciplined for it (my main motivation was A being bored and B showing everyone who treated me as stupid that I had a brain lol) and ended up as top of the class. At the point of grade 11, the “gifted” kids from the grade below us were put together with our grade. The system works in a way where the gifted kids do grade 8 and 9 together and end up joining the normal final 3 years with the grade that was originally the one above them. So when those kids joined us a lot of them were A super young, B not getting good grades at all and C treated differently by teachers who had spent like 3 years intensively with those students. To me it was always a little weird that the teachers would put more effort into supporting (allegedly) gifted kids than helping those struggling. Those struggling were usually the ones from more poor families and the ones in the gifted thing had academics as parents or rich folk (not all, but most of them). There was also one case of a student skipping like 2 or 3 years but that was an exceptional case bc the student was the son of a teacher at hour school and oh well, you can piece it together yourself. Anyways, for us normies, it always felt like the gifted kids got preferred by the teachers and were treated differently up to the point where the teacher was only looking at them during class and I was starring at him and he did not give eye contact back ONCE during a lesson. I just did not feel seen after putting in effort which ended up getting me good grades but not the same treatment. Hence, I am really not a fan of gifted programs because they’re usually always sketchy about who gets in and there is always a lack of support and help for kids struggling. Also: please treat normal kids like they have a brain that is intelligent, thank you.
National reading competitions I think are like battle of the books there’s a list of books and you get a team you and your team have to read some of those books. Then a bunch of schools get together to get told about something that happens in one of the books and the team has to guess which book (get more points for saying the author) whichever team has the most points wins and their schol gets some sort of reward or something. (I know this because I have participated in the past)
I assume the aunt that made them sit at the kids table has never worked and is a stay at home mom and that’s why she associates being an “adult” as having kids bc she’s never done anything else as an adult herself🤦🏼♀️
Why the heck don't parents with kids take care of their kids at a wedding?! The kids should be seated at the same table as their parents period. If they don't want to be responsible for them and want to have fun then leave them at home with a babysitter. The burden of responsibility of your children should not be put on someone else's shoulders.
My sister sat my son at the kids table for a family meal. He’s 16. So, I moved him to our table. It’s not his responsibility to watch her kids because they’re younger. If they need someone to watch over them, that’s your responsibility. She got upset with me because I let me son tell her, “If you want me to babysit, then pay me.” He was right.
honestly, as a kid who was given the ability to skip a grade, i’m very thankful my mom decided to not take that opportunity. although i would’ve been able to academically keep up with my peers, some certain important life experiences would’ve been delayed compared to classmates that ik would’ve created a personal kind of stress for me (i.e. going to college without being a legal adult). also, now that i am a second year in college, i think i’d be so upset that my childhood got cut by a year in a sense
*sigh* the burrito story sounds like me and my husband. He is very literal-minded and I’ve had to learn over the years that if I ask him to pick something up for me I need to specify in exact detail what all I want and how otherwise I won’t get what I want. If I say bring me back a chicken burrito and didn’t specify that I wanted like avocado or something, I would just get a plain burrito. Sometimes specificity ahead of time, is more helpful.
As a coeliac, saying that I'm 'gluten-free' always has people trying to get me to "just try it". Like, no thanks, I haven't avoided easy/fun/convenient food for more than half of my life for funsies. Any uncertainty and I will avoid things entirely. I've been called selfish for not going out for food with my work friends because they went to a noodle bar that did not offer gluten-free ANYTHING! :') It's lovely to hear Cristine recognise food weirdos like me. :)
I'm the kind of person who orders the same thing from a handful of restaurants and rarely eat out, and even I can't remember MY OWN orders sometimes lmaoooo
on the inherited house post: if i recall correctly there was a really good comment on that post abt how people typically hear “inheritance” and just think “free stuff” forgetting that someone had to die for it
I inherited my mom's house so I have a really cushy downtown apartment. My mom died way too early after three months of awful lung cancer. The idea that I'm lucky... I would rather be homeless and have my mom back.
Reminds me of the post where the OP (a bank teller) put their foot in their mouth when they saw someone cashing $50,000 check and said "wish I had one of those," only for the customer to reply "It's a life insurance check, I'd rather have the person"
When my dad passed my techer told me I no longer had to do any homework and to only complete the mandatory assignments i needed to graduate (but i got generous extensions on all of them). A guy in my class over heard her without knowing the context and came up to me after, telling me how unfair it was and what he had to do to get the same perks....
I think it says more about how teachers are overworked and expected to do things they aren’t prepared/want to do. If all of the sudden your boss expected you to teach a ton of kids new higher level material as well as dealing with families and kids who are upset they didn’t get in you’d probably be burnt out. Most teacher get off work and have to still do more work unpaid like preparing lesson plans and grading
as a teaching student this makes me so sad/mad/etc all the time. They're just not really in it to help the kids no matter what they say if they act like that!!
Or that the structure of power systems sometimes places power over other people into the hands of people not equipped to appropriately manage that power. Not everything is a moral failure, especially when you talk about low-level authorities like teachers or service workers. What you’re essentially saying is that an overworked cashier at a liquor store is proof some people shouldn’t be given positions of power just because they refused to even look at someone’s ID. Maybe the cashier isn’t the problem here lol
@@londonmellow oooo I was just curious to see the comments so IF you could I couldn't find the last story the one about the wofe not wanting husband wearing shorts in front of his mom
So I got into a heated discussion with my father, and at one point he said: "Listen little girl..." to basically imply I am young and naive. I replied that I definitely am no longer a "little girl" and he vehemently disagreed lol. For the record I am 35, have been together with my husband for fifteen years, married for twelve, and we live on our own. Some people/family will just never see you as an adult, no matter what age you are lol 😆🤷🏼♀️
I’m 34 and have no kids, nor do I want to have any, my mother won’t see me as an adult unless I have kids. Well well 😂 I’ll be the only retired child in the future!
@@billyjean3118 Good grief, that's crazy lol. I get why having kids SOUNDS good on paper as far as making you an adult, but when you think about it, shouldn't a parent want their child to reach some level of "adulthood" before they're having kids themselves? It's all just ridiculousness haha! I was particularly peeved at my dad about this because I had just lost a 20 week pregnancy not even a month before the argument, as well as eight pregnancies lost prior to that as well. Me not grown at this point? No sir, I think not. Geez lol.
maybe I'm shady as shit, but I would bring that up at every turn. Like "oh, you want me to pick up something for you? Well, maybe you should do it yourself because you can't trust a little girl like me to handle it." You don't get to infantilize me just because you're my parent. You may have changed my diapers but I could soon be changing yours.
As someone who ended up in the same grade as my older sister due my advancement and her flunking algebra, it literally made no difference in terms our school life. We had different friends and social circles. Even when we had the same homeroom, we barely paid each other any mind. If my mum had tried to stop me moving up, I'd have been sooo mad. (my sister maintains - lovingly - that she was not embarrassed by my being there. But rather *I* should be embarrassed for being such a nerd)
@@jayjayjayjay1067 More of a challenge, usually. Certain people just learn at an accelerated pace and do well when presented with more challenging coursework. Sometimes just enrichment isn’t enough if you aren’t able to use your maximum potential because it isn’t stimulating enough. I’m certainly not speaking for everyone, just my experience as a former Canadian high School kid.
We hired someone to help my grandmother at my wedding. Her aid helped her get food, to the bathroom, and drove her home when she was ready. It was the best thing because my mom got to focus on having fun instead of worrying about grandma.
Exactly. Plans can be made. Besides I have noticed at most wedding receptions, the older guests leave pretty early after dinner and speeches and then the younger guests party on until late hours. I would chuck this bird if I were the guy honestly.
In regards to the inherited home vs parents purchasing a home, something that wasn't taken in to consideration is the mental status of the person who inherited the home. She/he lost their parents. They are dealing with grief, stress of the estate and a whole slew of other emotions as well I am sure (I just lost my mum and am running a whole up and down of emotions). I feel the friend was quite the a**hole to bring up the inheritance issue in a public place. I am a very even tempered person but just listening to this story gave me a huge surge of emotions and I would have definitely snapped back and possibly even walked out of the store and left.
That is exactly what I was thinking. Her friend sounds like an insensitive A-hole & not like a friend at all.
Right?! What a weird thing to a) bring up in front of a stranger and b) double down on and get mad about! I would absolutely question my friendship with this type of person!
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. 🤍
100%. unless there is some serious context missing, i honestly can't understand why anyone in the friendship group would think these two were on a 50/50 footing on behaviour. (so sorry to hear about your mum)
Yeah the friend should understand why the person told the store guy why she said she bought it. And I totally understand why they snapped they are probably hurt and confused
I agree
That skipping the grade one annoyed me. I heard "let me protect my sons feelings and hinder my daughters education" hits home for me cuz mothers tend to coddle the boys in the family who "aren't as smart" as the daughters
The parent who didn't let their child skip ahead did an update where they had a big family meeting about it and Jonah basically went I don't care she should be in my year, so Emma managed to skip forwards in the end ☺️
THANK you from saving me the search lol
It still sad that parents decided to hold daughter back just to not hurt fragile masculinity of their son.
I bet they would not be that considerate if it was vice versa - smarter son and not so smart daugher
I actually love that the mum thought about the family has a whole and put her kids sibling relationship before being a pushy mum.
@@Katielovegood44 she only thought that bc of the comments she was getting on the post. They already had made up their minds that the daughter wasn't going to skip ahead.
@@maryblack2140 well the son is also a child....so fragile masculinity probably isn't the right phrase. I think more along the lines of sibling rivalry, or the feels of inadequacy most young people experience when it comes to school.
Rip to Ben because Cristine is getting him plain tacos, while Ben is getting her tea with all the works lol.
I feel like Ben doesn’t really care about his birthday meaning that he has no expectations, but I do think he likes the sentiment of getting a gift?
It sounds like he just wants it to be acknowledged. Like maybe eating out and getting dessert. Just SOMETHING. That’s how I feel about it.
Yeah like me. I don't care whether or not I get a gift, but I'd be a little sad if my mum didn't make me a cake (even though I'm an adult) as has been tradition for years, because it would feel like she didn't care about me, not really because of the cake, if that makes sense. Her too. She doesn't care about gifts, but I always make sure to buy or make her something (even just something small) so she has at least one thing to open on her birthday, and I know it makes her quietly really happy that someone bothered despite her saying she doesn't care, like Ben might feel I think.
I agree. I don't have any specific expectations, but I want my partner to at least acknowledge it, whether with a little nicer dinner or dessert, or a small gift, or just something that shows he was thinking of me a little extra that day, but I don't want anything crazy or fancy or extravagant
I don’t give a shit about my birthday. I hate big fuss and definitely do not sing to me! So awkward. My husband is the same way. But, we will go out to dinner or have take out at home and I’ll decorate a bit with candles or something. To make it cozy. And we’ll watch series or a movie while having dinner.
During covid last year we both wanted something fun so I actually decorated our balcony with balloons and i put music and we had a BBQ for 2. But it looked like it could be a family party. My bday is coming up and we’re going out to dinner on the day, and to the movie next week (would have gone regardless).
As for gifts; neither of us care. And it’s never a surprise either. I’ll tell him hey there’s 2 things I’ve been meaning to get, pick 1 and that’s my gift. Hubby the same. I got him a book that he told me he wanted.
I agree, I don't like getting anything but I just really want someone to like tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning when someone wakes up, idk just shows they care
The grandma one made my blood boil. My grandma wasn’t able to visit our wedding for many reasons (health, long distance etc), but we’d obviously love to see her. Now she’s gone because of coronavirus, and I’m still gutted that she wasn’t there on our special day.
I have been vegetarian for over 10 years and my aunt knowing what that means told me that the sauce she made didn’t have meat in it. It did so I don’t eat at her house anymore
Samee my grandmother gave me soup and told me it had no meat and was just veggies. I found chicken bits in it. I don't eat anything she prepares ever since. People are just so awful sometimes.
Crazy to me how some people are willing to lose trust and respect from their family members just because they don"t agree about something that doesnt affect them
My grandmother did this too but it was less obvious because I’m vegan and the dairy and eggs are easier to camouflage in cakes and whatnot.
That's extremely disrespectful.
@@katya3805 imagine thinking that your grandmother has to change her cooking just because YOU no longer eat meat. If you want something without meat, make it yourself, it’s as simple as that. That’s why it’s called a LIFESTYLE, because it’s YOUR life that’s changing, not hers.
"You guys got any Pokémon cards?" 😆😆 Ben being so out-of-touch makes me feel so much better about myself.
Lol my son likes pokemon cards. He doesn't as much anymore but when he was like 7 or 8 he did. He's 10 now
Pokemon cards are constantly sold out in stores now a days so I think he's aware.
"So I said fuck it and took my quiche back..." 🤣 Damn right, I would like to raise a glass to this young man. Those people don't deserve your quiche.
regarding wife vs shorts- it's really odd that she's offended by something between her partner's attire and his mom's presence..but like offended..for them? or what? like, its pretty casual to run downstairs in your sleepwear around your parents. if they were pressuring her to change HER comfort level, it'd be different, but it's about them and between them and he pretty predictably was feeling weird about her insistence in the issue..non issue lol
I agree it's wrong but I also feel like it stems in a really weirdly "traditional" family dynamic growing up, where the OP probably wasn't allowed to wear shorts or anything remotely revealing around her family, so now she finds it weird that her husband does it. Basically, her family were creeps growing up, probably making it into a sexual thing, so now she thinks showing your thighs to your family is inherently sexual and therefore inappropriate.
@@thespankmyfrank oh I could absolutely see that being the case! But it's the inability to communicate this with her partner without condemning him and being upset that this doesnt resonate as an issue with him and his family. That's not fair, maybe difficult for her, but not fair to him either. I'm sure they'd have loved to just have her join them for breakfast that day rather than feeling this divide
Them talking about their parents being involved in their school education while my parents would forget to even pick me up from school 😭
😢
I'm sorry 💔
It's his mom. She's seen him in his underwear for many years. She is family and it shows comfort. I think most people would feel comfortable doing this around their immediate family, if they do that. The woman will need to adapt to her boyfriend/husband. Just because she's uncomfortable, doesn't mean he has to change, when it's a dynamic that doesn't involve her (between him and his mother).
Right?? It’s not like the mom is coming in the room and the poster is feeling uncomfortable being in her sleepwear around the mom…. Her husband left the room to help his mom with something. If he’s comfortable with that, that’s his own decision.
Yeah, her reaction is unreasonable. It's irrational that "being raised conservatively" would mean that her husband, well removed from her presence, would "need" to be fully dressed around his mother, who's seen every square inch of him and is comfortable with him being in "shorts". I would recommend that the poster seek therapy (honestly, shouldn't everyone) because there's clearly a lot of baggage she's holding onto from her childhood that is not serving her well. I've met people before (feels like most people, these days) who cannot have a discussion about anything... their fallback position is always "well it makes me uncomfortable (even though it literally does not affect me), so it's wrong".
@@ninaasf-ck She may need therapy, or probably even just practice and coaching about being in relationship. I wonder if she's young, and this is the first time she's been exposed to a boyfriend that does this? It's a big growing up moment for her, I guess, seeing that other people's families may function differently? I agree with you, some folks just think if it makes them uncomfortable, it must be wrong, instead of exploring that idea, that there are multiple ways to live life.
I don't think she would react the same way if it were his father for instance. But maybe with not immediate family I can kinda understand.
Seems very controlling though
Also, it's probably not even underwear because she kept writing "shorts" and then specified that he should wear "pants/jeans" instead, which at least leads me to believe that it's more likely he was wearing gym shorts to bed- that's really not that odd.
ben being surprised people want to drink at their wedding is so cute lmao 😭 he’s so innocent hahaha
As a "gifted" kid, I agree with that parent given the context I have. Skipping a grade is difficult socially (especially in middle school GOOD GOD) and there are better ways to socialize kids in mixed age groups than the rigid school enviornment. I get that she's grumpy, but one day she'll be 25 and probably realize that graudating high shcool at 17 wouldn't have made much of a difference aside from making it so she can't go out and do things that peers can do because she's a year younger.
I totally agree with Cristine’s stand on the gifted program. I was in gifted and it was so detrimental to my mental health. The pressure to always be smart is not a good thing young minds. I would often beat myself up or feel stupid if I didn’t get a high grade like the rest of my gifted friends or scared to ask for clarification on something I didn’t understand because I didn’t want to look dumb. The kids who weren’t in gifted also hated us and made fun of us because the teachers put us up on a pedestal (which probably made them feel less than and is why they acted out). Now I’m high school and the fact that I was in gifted in middle school doesn’t mean shit because now it’s just about going to AP classes and getting credits for college.
As an Ontario teacher I can confirm that gifted classes still exist but sometimes gifted students are placed in “regular classrooms” and just given the extensions and side projects to challenge them. I personally like this approach better because it helps lessen the divide with the “gifted” label which was definitely a social issue when I was growing up in the 90s/2000s.
I shared classes with my sister when we were in 7/8th grade, just because the school was really small. The main issue is getting compared alot by your teachers and friends. Sometimes it was fine but it got difficult if we were mad at each other cause we couldn't talk to our friends about it because we all knew eachother. If you don't have a great relationship with your siblings, it's tricky having a lot of mutual friends cause you don't want them involved in family drama .
The shorts issue: Shes well aware how her “conservative” perspective was clouding her judgement but still imposes her beliefs on her husband and mum in law who were okay with the situation.
Stop imposing your beliefs on people like damn
In the American South gifted programs were used to re-segregate integrated schools after Brown V. Board of Education. The legacy that this leaves on these programs is still visible today with black and brown students being majorly under represented in them.
Knowing Better has a good video about the history of all this but there are lots of other sources that are well worth examining.
If I had to sit at a table with a bunch of 6 year olds, I'd just ask them about the things they like.
I've always liked it when older ppl ask my generation about the things we're into, and by that I mean when they genuinely ask to learn, keeping an open mind.
Love this response. Don’t discount how cool it may be for your younger family members to get to interact with an adult!! Adults paying kids attention is almost always their favorite.
Good picks, Ben! This one was the most enjoyable for me yet, usually these episodes just make me mad at how awful people are, but these ones were thought-provoking, as you said.
about the kid skipping a grade, I find the mother's reasoning bad but skipping a grade really isn't all the great a lot of the time, you miss out on information, like it's one thing if she is capable of moer than other kids but just being able to do more younger doesn't mean you know more. A gifted kid still needs to be told certain things, even if they can learn and understand things quicker. But more importantly it's a huge disdurbance to their social life and always being the youngest can be difficult too, academic maturity isn't the same as social maturity. I knew some kids who skipped grades young and most of them regretted it in the end, not saying it can never work out but personally I find the whole concept stupid.
Totally agree, I have younger family members who skipped grades and now they're in high school and struggling! Not just academically, but also socially because they're younger than everyone. Just because you can handle more doesn't mean you should!!
100%
I think if a kid's bored in school and getting easy A's they should just find a hobby to fill that free time with. Filling up all that extra time with more school doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
But introducing something new, like sports, dance, art, music, or even something related to achademics like quiz bowl or debate, can help a kid become more well rounded and let them meet other kids their age who have similar interests.
Agreed! There are lots of reasons why skipping ahead may not be right for someone - social/friends, personal and emotional development, missing out on parts of the curriculum, finishing school early (or having to do a year twice which is what they mostly do here!), choice of teachers, pressure/free time to do other things etc etc.
Yeah 100% agree! There's a lot more to school and your grade than just the academic material you're being taught, a lot of kids that move up a grade really struggle as they are do not fit in with their classmates - they're at different developmental stages
In my HS they had different levels (with different GPA ranges) for the core classes - Honors, A, B, C. There was only 1 honors class and 2 A level classes for some subjects, with an unofficial high A and low A
This affected the rest of your scheduling, since those are fixed points in your schedule. When I was moved up a level in math, it just threw my whole social life out of whack. And they provided ZERO help to catch up on the material I missed.
Today was a horrible day for me. I was having suicidal thoughts and didn't sleep well. This video kept my mind busy and genuinely made me feel better.
Thank you.
I hope that you are feeling better and have a wonderful day.
How have you been?
Hope today's going better for you!
When I was young I was also tested for gifted but because my parents did not follow up with them, I was not selected to be in the program. It’s interesting how it’s more so based on whether the parents push for it or not rather than actual skill.
In high school we read a book called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell that discussed what makes people gifted in a particular thing. It was an interesting read and exposed a lot of how gifted programs and holding students back a year can affect their performance.
The gifted program is so interesting! it's very different in the Maritimes (when I was young, no idea what it's like now). There were 3 streams: functional, academic, and advanced placement. Functional was acceptable for trades and usually folks who failed out of academic, academic was required for university, and advanced placement allowed you x amount of university credit hours.
There wasn't assessment for it. If you had a score above 93% you could request to go advanced placement in that specific class.
The class was largely made up of the smart athletic kids with parents who lived in the one fancy suburb in the area. (They did have good grades, but there was a super clear class divide.)
In my friend group most people couldn't get into them. two of us were in AP, but I only went advanced English because I didn't want to do pre-calc. Most people were not envious because it was something like 1 university credit you got and was only available for grade 11 (pre-AP) and 12 (AP)
For the one abt the kid's table, one of the reasons why they may have wanted the poster to sit with the kids is so that the poster would babysit while the "adults" could drink and have fun. This has happened to me many times and i am automatically the babysitter since i am the oldest of my cousins who are considerably younger than me. My aunts and uncles saw me as a way for them to talk with the other adults without having to pay much mind to the kids, as i was the one trying to keep them in their seats and whatnot. Felt pretty tired after a family gathering all the time bc of that
I live in Ontario and am in high school now, the way gifted works now is you have to be recommended by a teacher and the test is very different. My brother (a year younger than me) was tested in grade 3 because he was bored in class and causing trouble, he was designated as gifted and went to another school which had the program. My teacher (I had the same teacher for grade 4 and 5) heard my brother changed schools for gifted and pushed to get me tested as well. The test was mostly to determine how you think, from what I remember you had this puzzle where they gave you an image you had to replicate with these colourful block things and explain the meanings of a list of random words. I’m sure there was more but it was a while ago (going into grade 12 now). I also got gifted but they wanted to send me to a different school than my brother and wouldn’t bus me so I stayed where I was. My high school still has a gifted program, but it’s all people who were testing back in grade 3 and don’t necessarily want to be there anymore.
To provide insights on the skipping the grade thing, I really really feel for the girl, I wasn’t held back because of my sister, it was in-fact never offered for me to skip a year because that’s not how the school system in my country works, but my older sister is just one school year above me (but almost two years older) and skipping a year would have been awkward. However, I was quite bright and did eventually skip my year 12 to go straight into year 13 and for the last year of high school I was in the same year as my older sister, and graduated with much better grades than her, which caused a lil tension and awkwardness. it was for the most part pretty awesome, similar scenario as we shared a lot of classes as small school. However, parts of it sucked and if we hadn’t been so close already it would’ve been hell.
From a mom of a 6 year old boy, he would discuss pokemon cards all day 😅 he has no idea what TikTok is.
Oh yeah, I used to work with 5-10 year olds and basically got accepted as one of them because of my extensive Pokémon knowledge 😂
I have a cousin and when he was 6 he had hundreds of cards. When I would babysit I'd ask him to show me his cards. For hours on end he'd go through each individual card and tell me what he likes about them. It kept him busy all day
@@sharonnettleton313 😂😂😂😂😂
As a current gifted and talented teacher I can tell you the whole “gifted” thing is not about who has richer parents or access to more materials WHERE I LIVE. It is more so about how the students think. These gifted kids think about things waaaayyy differently than other students and they need to be guided in a more structured manner than their academic counter parts. It is really evident when you talk to the kids and look at the actual work they are asked to do in class. Many of them would struggle in a mainstream class because they would a) not be challenged and become bored or b) struggle because the material is not designed with them in mind. For example my gifted students absolutely struggle with multiple choice tests, however, given the opportunity to explain their answers they all thrive. It just is a difference in thinking patterns and catering to those patterns to help the student grow.
That’s funny, because I don’t know anyone (including myself) who prefers multiple choice tests over open question tests where you get to justify your answer, gifted or not! MCQs straight up suck! 😂
Hi! Present day gifted and immersion student here. For some context, I live in the US and I've been in a Spanish immersion program ever since kindergarten and a kind of gifted program (I'll explain why kind of later on) since 4th grade when I moved to a new school. I was tested (I agree with Cristine, that was 100% traumatic. I recall even not trying very hard on the math test because I didn't want to be in the class) and later put into what in my region is called AIG (academically and/or intellectually gifted students), for both math and English. In that class we basically were pulled out of class once a week for about 45 minutes a day to do projects. To be honest, it was sometimes interesting but at the time I'd rather be in my actual classes than there, which was seperate from the rest of my peers (can create division and foster resentment in the student body; not hat great) That lasted up till middle school (6th grade ~11 years old is the start of middle school in my state) where I was put in an advanced math class that is a very fast paced class that teaches both 6th grade, 7th grade and some 8th grade math. Thing is, to be put in this class, everyone who wanted to was tested, but if you were in the math AIG you were automatically put in that class, as was I. I had one friend who didn't get in by just one or two points on the test. He's still slightly salty about that to this day, but not so much after seeing how much I suffered in that class. At this point AIG became a seperate thing that my parents deemed not worth it and didn't sign me up for.
Then, in 7th grade, if you didn't fail that class, you were put in Math 1, which teaches 9th grade (high school level here) math, at around 12 years old. Personally, this was extremely difficult for me because it was during virtual learning; I have no idea how I passed that class. Now, I'm in 8th grade (13 years old) learning 10th grade math in a class called Math 2. And I've got to be honest, if I pay attention (which can be really hard, thanks ADHD) and am awake enough to use my brain, most of the time that class is not that hard. But who knows, I've only just started the school year.
The whole purpose of this, at least from my parents' point of view, is that when I'm in high school I'll be doing college level classes, which means when I go to college I'll be able to take less classes and focus on the stuff I actually choose to study. If you look at the top of my comment, you see that this started in 4th grade. The pressure is insane, it nearly crushed me last year during the height of the pandemic when I wasn't able to enjoy the good part of school, which is seeing my friends. Despite all of this, I loathe math class and have no plans to become a natural scientist (anthropology, sociology and psychology do hold some interest for me) which truly proves that just because you're good at something doesn't mean you'll enjoy it. I still believe that the main reason for me getting into this advanced class was because I was lucky enough to have a stay at home mom with an education advanced enough to help me out, along with out of school math classes (not tutoring exactly, but math nevertheless). I think without that, I'd just be one of those kids with potential who never "applied themselves" because I despise math.
Cristine not knowing Ben's favorite burrito is just my vibes, hahahaahaha
This was awful hahahahaha
6:49
In regards to the post about the mother not allowing her child to skip a grade, I definitely think there was a better way to handle the situation. TLDR: the son may have a learning disability, and he shouldn't be babied or ashamed or told to work harder if that's the case, and even if it isn't, I think OP's decision is only exacerbating the real issue, which is that both children are viscerally aware of the difference between their academic performances/abilities, and that is perceived as a bad thing partly because of the way their parents treat each child differently. I also think that labeling kids as "gifted" and gifted programs in general are a lot more harmful than they are helpful.
Saying that the son should have worked harder in the sixth grade in order to not repeat is almost definitely incorrectly placing blame on the child's motivation to put effort into his schoolwork, rather than on the student's teachers and parents to not recognize his struggles earlier in the year (or in earlier years of school) and tried to get to the root of the issue rather than blaming poor performance on laziness or lack of effort when that is probably not the reason/only reason for getting low marks. In the sixth grade, if a student is performing poorly enough to have to repeat the grade, it is a very likely possibility that that is the result of an undiagnosed learning disability. LDs are a LOT more common than people think they are, and the reason that most people don't realize how common they are is that it is very common for LDs to go undiagnosed for many years if they are ever diagnosed, and public school districts are extremely resistant to providing the required legal services to students with LDs, and they will almost always go out of their way to hide signs of a learning disability in students from parents or antagonize students that perform poorly as being simply lazy or stupid when in reality, a significant amount of students that struggle in early school years is not the result of a lack of effort or intelligence, but the result of their brain processing information in an atypical way that the general curriculum does not accommodate for. About 20% of children under the age of 18 in the US have an LD or ADHD (that's approximately 14,840,000 children) and no public school teacher in the US is required to have any amount of understanding of LDs or attention/behavior disorders and how they affect a student's ability to learn, or any amount of training on how to recognize early signs of LDs, or how to teach to children with LDs. (I did a huge report on education policy in the US surrounding LDs last semester lol). A lot of case studies show that 70-90% of teachers have absolutely no understanding of what LDs are and how they work (e.g. one case study recorded that 80% of teachers surveyed incorrectly believing dyslexia is related to blindness, seeing words backwords, or letters jumping around on the page, 90% believing LDs are caused by low IQ, autism, or deafness, and 70% believing LDs are not real, and poor academic performance is always the result of laziness. Just for reference, the definition of a learning disability is that there is a significant gap between a person's IQ and their ability to perform basic academic functions, such as reading, writing, and basic math, which is the result of the person's brain processing specific information in a way that is different to a neurotypical person--dyslexia, for instance, means the brain processes language in a different way than a neurotypical person, so the conventional methods of teaching someone with dyslexia how to read will not work effectively because their brain simply does not process language in the way that the curriculum assumes it does. By definition, a learning disability REQUIRES that a person has average or above-average intelligence to be diagnosed with an LD; otherwise, they would be diagnosed with an Intellectual Disability (disability characterized by IQ below 75). Another study recorded that 33% of surveyed teachers said that teaching students LDs were "not their responsibility," many said teaching LDs students is no different than teaching non-LD students, and 100% of teachers had little to no idea of what an effective teaching method for a student with any type of specific LD would be.) Suffice to say, LDs are very common, however, public schools rarely know how to recognize or handle them, and when they do recognize them, it is not uncommon for them to hide clear and early signs of LDs so they won't have to invest the time and money into working one-on-one with the student and their parents to design and follow an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) throughout a student's entire academic career through kindergarten to 12th grade.
This is 100% illegal on all accounts, but virtually impossible to catch or prove without knowing your child has an LD--most parents in this situation never do, and if they do they will discover it very late in the child's academic career when it is almost too late to do anything. At large, the same amount of parents have little to no understanding or even awareness of LDs, what they are, how they present themselves, how to help, etc., so if a teacher or administrator does not tell them they suspect their student has an LD or recommend that they get tested, most parents will never know or even consider the possibility, so unless parents are able to PROVE that their child has an LD, public school districts will never ever be caught for not providing LD students with the services and special education they are legally required to provide. SO MANY LD students fall through the cracks of the public education system in the US and are labeled as lazy or problem children because teachers/administrators/special ed. teachers either don't know how to recognize and help LD students or knowingly try to avoid providing the legally required services by hiding very clear signs of LDs (clear if you know what you're looking for that is) and it is an issue that is really only known by parents and children that are affected by it and have had to do their own research on LDs and get their children outside help. Sort of a long tangent lol but LDs are literally called the "Invisible Disability" by parents whose children have LDs and never receive sufficient support because it is such an unrecognized issue that actually affects a HUGE portion of the population and it just frustrates me so much that so many people get screwed over by the system, knowingly or by accident, simply because people don't know or care about LDs, and those who do only do so because they have personal experience with it, and usually aren't in any position to do anything about it.
This is somewhat unrelated, but to Ben's question about whether gifted programs are controversial, I would say that gifted programs and labeling children as gifted, etc., while they have good intentions, are FAR more harmful to most gifted kids than they are beneficial in the long run. I was a "gifted child," although my school district didn't have a gifted program, and now that I'm older, I've found that I, as well as most young adults now that grew up as "gifted kids," now feel like I am a burnt-out underachiever. (I think this video really eloquently explains the issue with labeling kids as gifted and the way it actually takes people who have above-average intelligence and essentially just gives them more problems and leads to them being less successful as adults than people who have average or below-average intelligence and weren't labeled as gifted: ua-cam.com/video/QUjYy4Ksy1E/v-deo.html). I was often bored with the work in school, and after middle school decided to apply to a competitive private school nearby and did extremely well there as well; I was part of a lot of honor societies, took only High Honors and AP classes, etc., and often also found that while the workload was heavy and the pace was much more accelerated than my public school, the content was still manageable enough for me to get very high grades. I definitely worked very very hard, but all in all, I have always been considered "gifted" and not really having to put any effort in school to do well. I am 18 now and am a freshman at a very selective and competitive college in the states. The name of my school carries a lot of recognition and prestige and that is definitely a point of pride for my family (it is considered a "little Ivy" in college rankings); my parents love telling people where I go to school and whenever I come home, they tell me about people's reactions to me going to such a prestigious and competitive school. And while I am very proud to have worked hard enough to go to a well-known school and I really love what I am learning here, since my senior year of high school, I have felt extremely burnt-out and have actually been struggling a lot in college to perform at the same extremely high academic level that I and others have held me to my whole life. I know that I'm smart and capable of doing high-level work, but being expected by parents, teachers, and even other peers to get straight As and a 4.0 with minimal effort, get into an Ivy League school, become the next President, etc., my entire life is VERY stressful, and is honestly one of the main things that has driven me to work so hard and the main reason that I've achieved so much academically. Sometimes it's hard not to feel like being "gifted" makes you a sort of trophy child for your parents to show off to their peers (I've especially felt this with the recent name-dropping of my college since I've started). I think it's definitely one of the contributing factors to "gifted" children, including myself, having worsening mental health as they get older and people's baseline expectations get bigger and harder. to achieve. I personally have been struggling a lot with finding the motivation and energy I used to have to produce A+ level schoolwork at a competitive college level, and it's honestly embarrassing and discouraging with my reputation as a "genius/gifted child" to be academically struggling so much. Anyway, my point is, I think labeling kids as "gifted" is ultimately useless. If a child is "gifted," they have the capacity to perform very well and achieve a lot academically whether they are given this label (and the expectations that come along with it) or not. The intense pressure gifted programs put on very young children is completely unnecessary and in my opinion, will either not significantly affect the child, or be very detrimental, but it will not significantly help children in any meaningful capacity in the long run. I mean does skipping the seventh grade or being in the gifted program in the second grade really mean your child is going to get into Harvard? On the other hand, is it impossible for your child to get into Harvard if they didn't do those things?
Me and my sister are exactly a year apart, both with late august birthdays. At least in the US, august/September birthdays are the cutoff for which grade you'll be in. My parents were considering putting my and my sister in the same grade, with her being sightly older in her class and me being younger. To test this, they put us in the same preschool, and my parent's ended up not enjoying the dynamic. So, instead, they had me do a second year a preschool and let my sister move up to kindergarten. I'm really glad they made that choice, because I think it would have been too competitive feeling if we were in the same classes for all those years.
Re: the kids table vs adult table, this is why my family started having to have a kids table, a young adult table (like high school-college ish age), and then an adult table (the ones with kids and grandparents and such)
I sat at the kids' table with my cousins every holiday until my grandma died. My oldest cousin was 34 at the time and I was 22. One of my cousins already had a baby. It truly is the best table. Our parents always argued about everything, why did we want to be a part of that?
Thank you for this! We’re unpacking our house after moving across the county, ok… I’m unpacking while my husband is at work. Thanks for keeping me company!
former gifted kid here
i was in gifted and talented when I was in elementary and also won several art awards but when I got to middle school I failed the middle school gifted test as well as the test for a gifted program in hs. I felt ashamed and stupid for not being gifted my whole academic career and the overall experience hurt me.
I think it also kept me from getting an adhd diagnosis
Also Kuman is definitely outside of Canada! Very prominent in the states alongside several other smaller chains of similar programs
i was in a gifted program in a super elite private school in the US from first grade through eight grade (and then i took AP/advanced classes at another elite private high school lmao) and i’m still working through the baggage that left me with in therapy. i was on a full ride scholarship at both schools i went to (i went to the same school for preschool/elementary/middle school and the another for high school), and the combined stress of having to get good enough grades to keep that scholarship and stay in the gifted program on top of the stress to live up to the unspoken expectations set by my incredibly smart older sister and our parents absolutely crushed me. i managed to get A’s and B’s pretty much across the board, but i’ve never been academic (im studying film at an art school now) and i found out in my senior year of high school that i had severe undiagnosed ADHD that i never got help for. all of that combined with a shitty home environment and anxiety/depression gave me a LOT of issues, and i honestly wish that i hadn’t been set on that accelerated academic course at such a young age because i really couldn’t consent to it or understand the level of responsibility i was signing myself up for. there’s a lot more stuff that contributed to how shitty my school experience was, but tl;dr gifted/talented programs suck, imo. in my experience, they put way too much stress on young kids and teach them to equate their worth with their academic success or lack thereof.
Here's the thing that really bothered me about the mother who wouldn't let her daughter skip a grade. She didn't ask either kid before making a decision. Those kids are old enough to have an opinion, what if the brother didn't care. What if he wanted what was best for his sister?
There was an update on the reddit post. The parents DID ask both kids what they wanted, the older brother said he was okay with whatever his younger sister decided, and the younger sister was able to skip ahead. I'm glad that both parents came to their senses, and both kids were taken care of.
Gifted classes are still a big thing for us in the US all my friends took the test and got in. I didn’t get in because I transferred into the school after the tests were taken, my friends now have all Ap classes but most of them say they regret getting into the gifted program, because of all the pressure
I leave in iran, and we have such programs and exams at the beginning of each educational period which is such a traumatic situation and mostly kids, teenagers, and even university students get depressed.
The scone stream was a lot of fun, you should do another recipe but maybe a tea flavored scone or banana one. Also, i found it hilarious when everyone was angry about the kneading.
More than what you guys said about the “friend” who is jealous of the person who inherited the home - I bet that person sure would rather have their parents alive than have that house. It’s a really weird thing to be jealous of, and that “friend” is no friend.
That employee at the target or whatever probably doesn’t own his own house. IMAGINE not having anything close to a house and hearing these people argue about who is more disadvantaged when they both have houses they did not pay for 😂
I mean, clearly OP’s parents had passed away recently (and perhaps tragically since it seems that they both died at the same time), so I wouldn’t say she’s “arguing that she’s less privileged 😂”…
in the uk you’re given tests based on your skill level so you’re guaranteed to get a good grade so foundation test or a higher test on the same subject but questions are either easier or harder. in secondary you’re put in classes with people of a similar level so i’m not sure whether we would need gifted classes here
On the “gifted class thing”. In the UK in high school (age 11-16) there are setted classes. E.g there are 8 classes for each subject and class 1 is the “smart” kids and set 8 is bottom! It’s usually based on exams and behaviour in classes :) In primary school (age 4-11) it’s usually just everyone mixed
"So, do you wanna be getting wasted at your own wedding? Is that advisable?" 😂😂
My twin sister and I are the eldest of 8 cousins with 5 years between us and the next eldest being our brother. The fight for the adult table is real ...we are 24 and both about to be married sitting with 19-6 year olds lol. The picnic story hit deep 😅
Aahhhh gifted discourse! When I was in grade 7 I finally got my dyslexia diagnosis but also labels as 2E (twice exceptional or someone with a learning disorder and gifted). I was in gifted for a year and it did help a lot with my grades because it was faster pase. There is not a doubt in my mind that most gifted kids had some sort of neurodivergencie.
About the kids table one the OP mentions it’s been a while since the whole family has been able to get together so I feel like another part of the aunt saying she can’t sit with the adults is basically saying OP can’t be part of the catching up and visiting and implying that at least she (the aunt) doesn’t want her to participate in that part. Other family members agreeing kind of sends the message they don’t see how isolating that could be for the OP which sounds like a really sucky situation to be in.
Leaving may seem like a really disruptive decision and maybe it is but it’s hard because it seems like short of that everyone was just going to ignore her and she would be the one who has to bottle up her own feelings of being disrespected
French immersion schools here in Canada are themselves controversial. They've been know to deliberately turn away students because they would drop the GPA. There are other issues with them as well.
I almost was in the gifted program but I missed it by only a few points. It used to be a big deal in the states but I don't know anymore. I remember they just sent this letter home with us and told us that only our parents could read it. I had a really pushy bad friend at the time who forced me to read it on the bus to our after-school care. I didn't even understand what it meant. She being the kind of person she was told me it meant they were gonna send me to the "special" kid class aka the class for mentally and/or physically disabled kids(yeah that girl was evil). My parents later told me what it really meant. When I took the test I still didn't quite understand what the point was and it was long and boring so I didn't answer some questions
In my town rural in Quebec I don't remember having a Gifted program. We had Music concentration or English immersion from grade 6 to Secondary 3 (Grade 10 for the rest of canada).
My parents decided not to let me skip an early grade because they were concerned about me not having adequate social skills for that (because it was an early grade). That I can see if a parent had this concern. I ended up failing my first year of high school because of mental health reasons and it was good that I was able to reset myself that year. If I had the stress of having to "be better" all the time and excel at "everything" at a higher level it would have been even harder. I think they made the right choice (I had depression and other issues even young, I started therapy at 10). But after I stayed back I was able to become an honor roll student again.
I missed my entire first year of high school so it's not like I really repeated it. But what I'm saying is yes there are legitimate reasons for holding a child back from doing that. But my sister's comfort level in how far ahead of her I was not part of that conversation.
I was in the gifted programs btw and my parents regret it because they think that they are just pressure on the kids to overperform for no real reason.
Maybe a fairer question: what is Ben's favorite type of hummus,whether brand or flavor, not including the discontinued brand?
Banana.
If it doesn't exist, it should. For Ben.
We definitely have gifted classes in Louisiana, or at least we did when I was in primary and middle school. I think it was based on your GPA and a teacher's recommendation for you to be in a gifted class and you still had to take an entry exam. It also led into middle school with taking high school classes and it pretty much impacts the rest of your schooling through high school whether you're placed in accelerated classes or not. I think it's far less common for students to skip grades than it is for students to be placed in accelerated learning classes
We need Cristine to do the takeout for Ben food challenge! It would be great 😂
please keep doing these! they’re so entertaining and i love hearing your opinions!!
Ben laughing at the last story 😂 made my day
Love you both! 🥰
* the burrito story
For the wedding, I agree with Cristine. The grandmother should be able to go to both and if she decides to leave the reception, then she should leave. If she needs help, then she should have other ppl help her than the bride and groom.
Speaking of, my hubs and I got married and we barely remember anything. We have talked about at 5 or 10 years (next year is 5) having a tinier version and do a vow renewal. But we had children and old ppl at our party and from pictures it looks like they had more fun than we did lol 😂 but we didn’t have an open bar or byob. You shouldn’t be getting wasted on your wedding night. Someone else’s, sure. But you don’t want to be throwing up all over your $1,000+ gown, your wedding venue, and then wake up and be dying on your first day of your honeymoon! Lol 😂
at my new zealand primary school we had to be specially selected to take the ‘gifted’ test and i was chosen as well as a few of my classmates. I remember being very upset that some classmates who i knew did not do as well as me in school got in and i did not. I later found out that i didn’t get in because I was too logical and the class was for artistic and creative kids and all they did in the class was crafts.
I remember being so frustrated with my gifted program. I was a very high achieving student, but never passed the gifted test. I was always so sad about this, and was thankful in 7th grade when gifted was no longer a thing.
I was actually homeschooled in my early life. When my brothers and I joined public school, we had to get tested to see what grade levels we were at. Based on age, we estimated that my older brother would be in 9th grade and I would be in 7th grade. We both ended up in 8th grade with a nearly identical schedule, and we were fine! I did better in most classes, but he always blew me out of the water in math and problem-solving situations, and he made friends faster and easier than me. Being in the same grade as my brother didn't have any negative effects on either of us; most people thought we were twins even though we said we weren't year after year
Now I’m wondering how my school decided which kids would go into the gifted program, because I just got a letter before fourth grade saying I was in it and to my knowledge I hadn’t done any testing. There were only ever five of us, and we only did separate stuff from our class for maybe an hour or two a day.
Same
I was in a similar situation as the siblings. I was always in gifted and advanced placement classes. My sister and I are 2 grades apart but almost 3 years in age. I started school early. In high school we did end up in the same classes and my sister really struggled with it. My mother tried to make it easier for her, but it didn't work. I basically did her and her friend's homework to get her to be ok with me in the same class.
In NY ive never seen a gifted program option be offered, usually the teacher has to recommend the student into it. Parents cant advocate for their kids to get into it just because it “makes them smarter” that can be such a toxic environment for a kid who isn’t learning up to the speed of the gifted kids. I was in the gifted program and we were ahead but i don’t necessarily think it was kids who were ahead i think it was just a term to divide kids who learn in different ways. Everyone in my class learned by ourselves after being taught the topic while everyone in my old class (non gifted) needed everything kind of spelled out for them which is NORMAL cus that’s how actual teaching works which is why although our class was big we only had one teacher cus they really only went around and made sure we were working okay and would very rarely have go teach something out (usually for me with division cus it stressed me out)
I keep lists in my phone of my family and friends favorite foods and sometimes what they order because i will never remember otherwise. I make an effort, but never have i gotten anything other than appreciation. If someone asked me to pick something up and specified something in writing and I got it wrong despite their specifics, and they were paying for it, and they somehow felt they couldn't eat it (maybe a food allergy that I should have known about and didn't actively participate in trying to keep them from getting sick), they have every reason to be upset, even if i had no obligation to pick up their food and was doing it solely out of kindness.
I work at a daycare and can confirm 6 year olds all watch UA-cam. A lot of our conversations are “and there’s a video where Elsa is….”
You know what would be hilarious? That 98 year old grandma becoming the life of the party and just enjoying the night more than anyone else.
My wife's grandma is narcissistic and absolutely would take over a wedding to suit her needs. And there are plenty of enablers in her family that would help grandma take over.
I had a teacher in 6th grade tell me I was stupid. So I didn’t do ANY homework and managed to hide it from my parents for 1/2 the year. I wish I’d tried to prove her wrong rather than be spiteful. It set me back a school year. I had to Homeschool to make it up. And didn’t actually believe I wasn’t stupid until university when I worked hard and got all A’s.
There are still gifted programs in elementary school but in middle school and high school it’s honors classes which are more advanced. There are lots of studies on how honors classes effect students both in and out these classes. A student in my grade for a project wrote about this and got our school to get rid of honors English for at least a year.
Some of my younger friends have tried to suggest I'm having it easy because I will be getting the house when my mom dies. But the part they like to ignore is the fact I'm literally taking care of my elderly parent while putting my life on hold and then have to completely fix up a house that has been treated poorly for decades. I don't get a free house like people seem to be treating it. I'm putting in decades of work and getting a house I have to instantly flip while living in it at the same time as handling funeral arrangements. Every single time someone says "Well, I don't just GET a house" I totally want to smack them upside the head. But then again I lost my father two decades ago and my mother is in her mid-70's and so for these people who say these things they often have parents who are only just hitting middle age and they have zero comprehension of how upside-down your life can become when a parent falls ill and needs round the clock care especially when it is a sudden thing such as a stroke or heart attack that leaves them bedridden.
With the kids table thing, I think there's also the connotation is that the person is a women. The idea that women need to get married/have kids as like, a rite of passage into adulthood is a thing with the older gen.
Edit: op was a male so it doesn't apply here but I still stand by my point that women are expected to get married/have kids before they're treated as "real adults" a lot.
Not arguing with your point, but the poster was male
@@haleighboese9276 @melowl 98 oh, then yeah, that doesn't apply here, sorry 😭. I kinda just put things on and listen to them, so I wasn't really reading it.
The woman in the last story doesn’t mean boxer shorts or any kind of underwear, she literally just means regular shorts. There are religious groups that forbid shorts. My father’s family was Pentecostal when he was growing up (an extremely strict denomination of evangelicals) and he wasn’t allowed to wear shorts even as a kid. Yes it is absolutely ridiculous. They also don’t let women wear anything but skirts and dresses, women can’t cut or dye their hair, they can’t wear makeup, and some aren’t allowed to watch tv.
With the gifts. My first thought is he was mad because now he feels obliged to give her gifts for her birthday, meaning they have to be together until her birthday.
It reminded me of how I was so mad when I got the first guy I ever dated this nice set of dice for his birthday and like a week later he dumped me. I still haven’t bought metal dice for myself! I was so annoyed. So maybe he has the reverse where he’s annoyed because he might not be taking the relationship too seriously just yet and now he feels like he owes her birthday presents so he has to stick around until then. Still weird though.
I know when I start seeing a guy and we talk about birthdays or Christmas and they start talking about what to get me I’m like, woah, chill. And if I start seeing someone and their birthday is coming up very early into the relationship they aren’t likely to get much from me as far as an expensive gift goes, but I’ll spend time with them, which is my top love language anyway so imo it’s more valuable. And if they wanna do an activity that costs money like bowling or something I’m happy to bc it’s about the time and not the money or material item.
I remember when I broke up with my last boyfriend that I was freaking out because he had been talking about what he was gonna get me for Christmas. It was a mutual break but even so I was like, you didn’t get anything right? I would’ve felt so bad lol.
I just have to say, I related so much to the girl whose parents wouldn’t let her skip a grade. I had the same situation regarding my sibling and parents refusing to let me skip a grade for years. I wound up skipping 5th grade because the school ran out of ideas for handling me. I’m 27 now and if I could go back, I wouldn’t do it due to not only the social problems, but the concept of skipping a grade to make a child more average just younger is kind of flawed. I’ve just never heard of someone else who hasn’t initially allowed to skip a grade due to siblings.
I can only speak for Southeastern Pennsylvania public schools but in my experience with my kids they seem to be acknowledging much more than they do when I was little because I was going to get to figure when I was in kindergarten and I stayed in all the way through high School. Now the acknowledge it much more as being a special education program instead of an accelerator program. Initially it was just about how much information or trivia you could cram into your kid's head that that would mean they should be in the gift of program when the whole point was It was supposed to be for children who learned in a different way that often translated to them doing better academically. And yeah we got very bored and in regular classes. But the simple fact they're using a standardized test to serve as a metric for getting kids into his ridiculous. Especially considering one of the things that give the children struggle with the most is standardized testing to do pretty poorly on the SAT or the act the first couple times around just because of that it's not how our brains work. So now it's more focused on catering to that in a way that makes learning not only fun but far more effective than it would be able to just in regular courses. But do you remember in high school there was a big issue with the difference between gifted students and say kids on the honor roll or an AP. Because they would be studying constantly and we would just be able to kind of sail through but at the same time we wouldn't be able to handle like the PSAT and the yeah decisions were flying about favoritism and cheating. In reality it's just no our brains are broken in ways that make us smarter but also stupid on some aspects. Like incredibly ineffective savants lol.
I need to see a series of Cristine getting food for ben.
AITA simplypodlogical videos are the reason I live omg
So in my school it was decided whether you were gifted in class 6 (which is when you’re like 12) and not in any year after that. During that time, I didn’t give a crap about school, I honestly faced bullying and was struggling with coming out and finding out who I was. At the point of grade 8, I started getting really motivated and more disciplined for it (my main motivation was A being bored and B showing everyone who treated me as stupid that I had a brain lol) and ended up as top of the class. At the point of grade 11, the “gifted” kids from the grade below us were put together with our grade. The system works in a way where the gifted kids do grade 8 and 9 together and end up joining the normal final 3 years with the grade that was originally the one above them. So when those kids joined us a lot of them were A super young, B not getting good grades at all and C treated differently by teachers who had spent like 3 years intensively with those students. To me it was always a little weird that the teachers would put more effort into supporting (allegedly) gifted kids than helping those struggling. Those struggling were usually the ones from more poor families and the ones in the gifted thing had academics as parents or rich folk (not all, but most of them). There was also one case of a student skipping like 2 or 3 years but that was an exceptional case bc the student was the son of a teacher at hour school and oh well, you can piece it together yourself. Anyways, for us normies, it always felt like the gifted kids got preferred by the teachers and were treated differently up to the point where the teacher was only looking at them during class and I was starring at him and he did not give eye contact back ONCE during a lesson. I just did not feel seen after putting in effort which ended up getting me good grades but not the same treatment. Hence, I am really not a fan of gifted programs because they’re usually always sketchy about who gets in and there is always a lack of support and help for kids struggling. Also: please treat normal kids like they have a brain that is intelligent, thank you.
National reading competitions I think are like battle of the books there’s a list of books and you get a team you and your team have to read some of those books. Then a bunch of schools get together to get told about something that happens in one of the books and the team has to guess which book (get more points for saying the author) whichever team has the most points wins and their schol gets some sort of reward or something. (I know this because I have participated in the past)
I assume the aunt that made them sit at the kids table has never worked and is a stay at home mom and that’s why she associates being an “adult” as having kids bc she’s never done anything else as an adult herself🤦🏼♀️
Why the heck don't parents with kids take care of their kids at a wedding?! The kids should be seated at the same table as their parents period. If they don't want to be responsible for them and want to have fun then leave them at home with a babysitter. The burden of responsibility of your children should not be put on someone else's shoulders.
This is my favorite series going right now.
My sister sat my son at the kids table for a family meal. He’s 16. So, I moved him to our table. It’s not his responsibility to watch her kids because they’re younger. If they need someone to watch over them, that’s your responsibility. She got upset with me because I let me son tell her, “If you want me to babysit, then pay me.” He was right.
honestly, as a kid who was given the ability to skip a grade, i’m very thankful my mom decided to not take that opportunity. although i would’ve been able to academically keep up with my peers, some certain important life experiences would’ve been delayed compared to classmates that ik would’ve created a personal kind of stress for me (i.e. going to college without being a legal adult). also, now that i am a second year in college, i think i’d be so upset that my childhood got cut by a year in a sense
*sigh* the burrito story sounds like me and my husband. He is very literal-minded and I’ve had to learn over the years that if I ask him to pick something up for me I need to specify in exact detail what all I want and how otherwise I won’t get what I want. If I say bring me back a chicken burrito and didn’t specify that I wanted like avocado or something, I would just get a plain burrito. Sometimes specificity ahead of time, is more helpful.
As a coeliac, saying that I'm 'gluten-free' always has people trying to get me to "just try it". Like, no thanks, I haven't avoided easy/fun/convenient food for more than half of my life for funsies. Any uncertainty and I will avoid things entirely. I've been called selfish for not going out for food with my work friends because they went to a noodle bar that did not offer gluten-free ANYTHING! :')
It's lovely to hear Cristine recognise food weirdos like me. :)
I'm the kind of person who orders the same thing from a handful of restaurants and rarely eat out, and even I can't remember MY OWN orders sometimes lmaoooo
I recommend watching Tiffany ferg's video about gifted programs for sure
on the inherited house post: if i recall correctly there was a really good comment on that post abt how people typically hear “inheritance” and just think “free stuff” forgetting that someone had to die for it
I inherited my mom's house so I have a really cushy downtown apartment. My mom died way too early after three months of awful lung cancer. The idea that I'm lucky... I would rather be homeless and have my mom back.
Reminds me of the post where the OP (a bank teller) put their foot in their mouth when they saw someone cashing $50,000 check and said "wish I had one of those," only for the customer to reply "It's a life insurance check, I'd rather have the person"
When my dad passed my techer told me I no longer had to do any homework and to only complete the mandatory assignments i needed to graduate (but i got generous extensions on all of them). A guy in my class over heard her without knowing the context and came up to me after, telling me how unfair it was and what he had to do to get the same perks....
And you usually still have to pay out the ass for it bc of taxes and usually repairs and things.
I think Ben's experience with that teacher is a perfect lesson about how people in power aren't always meant to be there.
I think it says more about how teachers are overworked and expected to do things they aren’t prepared/want to do. If all of the sudden your boss expected you to teach a ton of kids new higher level material as well as dealing with families and kids who are upset they didn’t get in you’d probably be burnt out. Most teacher get off work and have to still do more work unpaid like preparing lesson plans and grading
as a teaching student this makes me so sad/mad/etc all the time. They're just not really in it to help the kids no matter what they say if they act like that!!
Or that the structure of power systems sometimes places power over other people into the hands of people not equipped to appropriately manage that power. Not everything is a moral failure, especially when you talk about low-level authorities like teachers or service workers.
What you’re essentially saying is that an overworked cashier at a liquor store is proof some people shouldn’t be given positions of power just because they refused to even look at someone’s ID. Maybe the cashier isn’t the problem here lol
In the future I'd love if you linked the AITA threads so we can read through some other responses
I agree!!
yeah but for the time being if you google that exact title it pops up
@@londonmellow I googled and one title didn't pop up :( but @Simply yesss links would be awesome
@@JessiKicksAss let me know which one u tried I might be able to find it for you
@@londonmellow oooo I was just curious to see the comments so IF you could I couldn't find the last story the one about the wofe not wanting husband wearing shorts in front of his mom
So I got into a heated discussion with my father, and at one point he said: "Listen little girl..." to basically imply I am young and naive. I replied that I definitely am no longer a "little girl" and he vehemently disagreed lol. For the record I am 35, have been together with my husband for fifteen years, married for twelve, and we live on our own. Some people/family will just never see you as an adult, no matter what age you are lol 😆🤷🏼♀️
This! It's just not worth wasting your time trying to convince them lol.
Lmao okay I am 27 years old and I can see this as my future
I’m 34 and have no kids, nor do I want to have any, my mother won’t see me as an adult unless I have kids. Well well 😂 I’ll be the only retired child in the future!
@@billyjean3118 Good grief, that's crazy lol. I get why having kids SOUNDS good on paper as far as making you an adult, but when you think about it, shouldn't a parent want their child to reach some level of "adulthood" before they're having kids themselves? It's all just ridiculousness haha! I was particularly peeved at my dad about this because I had just lost a 20 week pregnancy not even a month before the argument, as well as eight pregnancies lost prior to that as well. Me not grown at this point? No sir, I think not. Geez lol.
maybe I'm shady as shit, but I would bring that up at every turn. Like "oh, you want me to pick up something for you? Well, maybe you should do it yourself because you can't trust a little girl like me to handle it." You don't get to infantilize me just because you're my parent. You may have changed my diapers but I could soon be changing yours.
As someone who ended up in the same grade as my older sister due my advancement and her flunking algebra, it literally made no difference in terms our school life. We had different friends and social circles. Even when we had the same homeroom, we barely paid each other any mind.
If my mum had tried to stop me moving up, I'd have been sooo mad. (my sister maintains - lovingly - that she was not embarrassed by my being there. But rather *I* should be embarrassed for being such a nerd)
Haha, that's a very sisterly thing to do: make fun of you for being smart 😆😆 love that.
What does someone gain from moving up in a grade?
@@jayjayjayjay1067 More of a challenge, usually. Certain people just learn at an accelerated pace and do well when presented with more challenging coursework. Sometimes just enrichment isn’t enough if you aren’t able to use your maximum potential because it isn’t stimulating enough. I’m certainly not speaking for everyone, just my experience as a former Canadian high School kid.
@@jessien5463 yes! Boredom is the great enemy of gifted kids because they'll stop putting in any effort and start to flunk.
for being such a nerd 😂 i think she secretly enjoyed having you around (but several feet away) more 😂💕
We hired someone to help my grandmother at my wedding. Her aid helped her get food, to the bathroom, and drove her home when she was ready. It was the best thing because my mom got to focus on having fun instead of worrying about grandma.
Exactly. Plans can be made. Besides I have noticed at most wedding receptions, the older guests leave pretty early after dinner and speeches and then the younger guests party on until late hours. I would chuck this bird if I were the guy honestly.
Cristine: "I don't care about my birthday"
Also Cristine: *Releases a special nail polish IN HONOR of her birthday* 💅
i thought that too 😆
Her birthday gift is holo taco sales 😂
she did mention she's like to get nail polish lol
makes sense: she'd rather plan and launch a nail polish than a party.
It's a gift for us, not her