I haven't finished the video yet, but right off the bat here: Shojo is manga for young girls. Josei is manga for older women, and Helter Skelter, the manga, is a Josei not a Shojo. Also the "mother of shojo" title, belongs to Moto Hagio. Kyoko Okazaki is the mother of josei, however.
Thank you for the correction! I was a little confused on the difference between these terms, so I appreciate you clarifying. I pinned your comment so people are not misinformed! 💖☺️
@@FinalGirlStudios Truthfully, the difference in the English-speaking anime fandom isn't all that important, the categorization system is there because traditionally manga are published chapter by chapter in magazines (which is then compiled later into volumes) based on the demographic of the reader-base (eg: Shounen magazines are geared towards young boys, Seinen is geared towards adult men, Shojo is geared towards young girls, Josei is geared towards adult women), which doesn't really have an equivalent anywhere but Japan. Everywhere else we just read volume by volume with age ratings instead of in magazines in short chunks with other chapters of different stories in the same demographic.
@@clinicalobsession616 The thing is that it's only depend of the magazine. Everything that is in shonen jumps is shonen, even if it's looks like a shojo. If it's published on a magazine category, then its part of said category. e.g: Black butler is seen by many as a Josei but it's a shonen. Tomie from Junji Ito looks like a seinen, but it's actually a shojo. Life is really graphic manga that contain r/p, it's not a jousei/seinen but a shojo. It's not about the content, it's about where they want the story to be publish and which people they want to touch. If they want to touch young girl with an horror story, they will go with a shojo magazine and it's will be a shojo and etc. In France we follow the same Japanese category, Shojo, josei, shonen, etc. But since we don't follow their magazine system, we are more strict into what goes in each category based on the content. Like if there is a lot of violence like AOT or Tokyo Ghoul, it's will go into the Seinen category instead of shonen like in Japan. But most of the time we follow the same genre (e.g: Life is still a shojo in France) and it's depend of each manga editor (who are more than 15 here)
@@narudayo5053 of course, I'm well aware of that. (I'm a classic shojosei junkie, I'm part of a scanslation team, most would say I know way too much about the topic). Tokyo Ghoul is already a Seinen though, it was published in Weekly Young Jump.
@@clinicalobsession616 have you read Plant Dolls (from 1995)? It's tangentially related. Wikipedia copy paste: "観用少女, Kan Yō Shōjo, lit. Ornamental Girls) is a collection of short manga stories by Yumiko Kawahara". Some of its chapters have kind of been haunting me since I read it.
I think the usage of butterflies throughout the movie is a metaphor for women's beauty. Butterflies, an insect generally considered beautiful, used to be caterpillars, which aren't considered as beautiful. They spend their entire lives waiting to transform into a butterfly. However, their beauty is pretty short-lived, as they die within a couple of weeks.
In Japanese culture butterflies actually symbolise death, as butterflies will feed on corpses. I think it's more likely in the film they are symbolic of (both mental and physical) decay and degradation.
Celebrating the multifaceted nature of femininity-including its strength, sensuality, and complexity-can encourage women to be authentic. Self-confidence and self-love often allow individuals to express themselves more fully and unapologetically. Engaging with both light and dark aspects of oneself can lead to a more holistic understanding of personal identity.
Those who view themselves as lacking in beauty may avoid seduction and assume they do not have the skills or qualities to connect with others in a deeper way.
Do you know how wild it was for me to turn 20 and look at pictures of myself at age 16-17 and think: “damn it’s all downhill from here.” It’s sickening
When I was 18 and working as a model I was working with a photographer in his 40s who was persistently trying to get me to shoot nude and at one point said “well your body will never look better than it does now, so you might as well”. We are taught these messages, it’s disgusting.
Honestly when I look at pictures of myself at 16 or 17 I think I look much better now that I'm 26. I have curated my personal style that suits me, know my color palette and my skin and haircare game is on top. Plus I just grew into a more ladylike face overall, I still had a bit of a baby face when I was 16 and I'm much more comfortable with my body now. Plus I just matured overall and I love it. And I still think I haven't reached my full potential yet. Don't you ever believe it'll be downhill from your 20s, it couldn't be further away from the truth. I would never want to go back to my early 20s.
@@FinalGirlStudios That's so gross. Imagine telling girls they're basically starting to loose their value before their prefrontal cortex hasn't even stopped developing yet.
Even though I'm a guy I spend time-consuming women's media such as music, film, and literature. And I noticed that when women's issues such as mental health or just women suffering in general, it always needs to seem beautiful or artistic in some way. It's very rare to see it shown in a genuinely realistic or scary way. It's like they can't express themselves without seeming civil or beautiful.
It really will make you psychotic to be obsessed with beauty. There will ALWAYS be people who let you know they find you as not beautiful, no matter how beautiful you truly are.
Not only that, but unless you ARE a celebrity, high paid model, or high paid exotic dancer, your beauty will not contribute to being financially secure - which is the #1 important thing in society. It will not even secure you a partner or husband.
In addition, being “beautiful” can be a hindrance in many ways. Making people hate or envy you. Or causing people to harshly criticize you, expecting beyond stellar and borderline perfect etiquette from a beautiful woman at all times. I am just a bartender, but the customers are constantly telling me how because I am “young and beautiful” it should be easy to do the job. I explain to them that everyone is different and there are many things that can limit a person’s ability to be perfectly personable, confident, and sociable. They tell me that is an excuse. Just because a woman is seen as “beautiful” people rarely will extend an ounce of compassion, empathy, or humanity in her direction. And even so, only a small portion of people will even acknowledge you as “beautiful”. These days, I cannot tell if I am beautiful, or if I am delusional and those people are simply lying to me to be kind. Either way, I have come to terms that as a Women of Color, beauty doesn’t do much to improve your life experience. Either way, you are hated and must work hard like a damn donkey.
When people see you as attractive, they are more likely to find and loudly point out your flaws. And your flaws as an attractive woman are more reason to have your self esteem and reputation demolished, and be discarded/disregarded as a potential friend or partner than a woman who is seen as normal or below average. It actually hurts and is quite confusing. Daily of our entire lifetimes we are told to invest in your beauty. You think it is what you are “supposed” to do. But it does result in people not caring about your feelings, thoughts, or opinions, and not treating you like a human.
Being a ugly girl with no whatsoever desirable features is an experience. Even for ugly men, there is hope. Stories of conventionally unattractive men who get their beautiful dream girlfriend because she saw his worth on the inside. No one makes these stories, songs, etc.. about ugly woman. There is no ugly actresses that are not ridiculed because appearance is all we see for woman.
it’s women’s fault why do you accept ugly men society is horrible towards women but a lot is caused by our own choices as well you can allow yourself to stop caring about looks you can treat men the same way actually you have to treat them this way because women are the selectors and must have to select for the strongest most handsome looking male in his strength and beauty prime (17-26)
@@user-uh6di8bu5m Settle down settle down, its not just men who are attracted to particular traits that women have afterall... and you're not necessarily any better, as there are definitely particular physical traits that all of us as human beings like seeing on another human beings... Anime is especially nutorious for taking advantage of this fact(probably intentionally at times, sometimes not intentionally and more so due to the effect of someone being inspired by particular elements of character design from a character intentionally designed for taking advantage of the aforementioned "things that get humans attracted to them")... although they don't just take advantage of the physical stuff, they also take advantage of the vocals + personality traits(and again, this might not be 100% intentional as it can vary probably, just like whether or not an anime company is ethical like Kyoto animation or a push their workers to the point of near-death like... Madhouse? There are definitely a lot more, but apparently they're out of business now? I think Gainax was guilty of it too, but I also equally think the artists themselves, since they were so sucked into it and passionate, kinda were neglecting themselves aswell - but its apparently a whole heck of a lot more artistically fulfilling than being in Disney or some other western studio)... BUT it is FAR MORE PREFERABLE cause they aren't actually making people go through tons of surgery to pull it off.
Yes this is the full reality of it... a man's value can be what he makes, and a woman's value is pleasing genetics. Beauty, that's not built to last. A man can create his own worth, and yet even a pretty woman is born with half of the worth of a male. An ugly girl faces no pity, no care, the world tells her and shows her no one values her and no one sees her as lovable. So incredibly real.
@@user-uh6di8bu5m Got a bit derailed, but I think the points still stand. To more directly respond to your comment; It isn't women's fault(it's the people in power aswell as the motivator for why they use their power the way they do, that motivator being HUGE short term gains in profit via owning more capital), and even if society is more racially and sexually inclusive in terms of whose in government, we still got issues. Those issues being; Intellectual + work + diverse backgrounds inclusivity, that being the inclusion of more people into government, with different backgrounds, different experiences, different fields of work, and different mindsets. That being said, they'd probably not necessarily want to be taken away from their jobs and forced into the government, but... I dunno. It's a big thought I had there. Also, I believe I already addressed the stuff about judging people by their looks somewhat, and also find it ironic how you said at the end that women should take the place of men on the hierarchy(and be the ones who choose their partners - which, in reality, it can often go either way, but the stereotype is admittedly pretty prevalent, that one being that men are supposed to be the ones who always take the initiative + pay for everything and that women are timid and weak, subservient to the man, in a marriage that is)... I mean, to humour you, women are the ones with long hair like how male lions have that Maine around their neck/face, meanwhile men are like the female lions, who have gone the extra mile and outright just don't have a Maine... But it would seem that some biologically male individuals also have long maines and the outward appearance of a female...
"For all women are trained to continue looking like girls. I remember getting so many comments from old women in their 40's and 50's from my childhood, my moms friends and teachers, saying how they liked my slim shape and wish they looked like me throughout the years I was 10-13 years old...
its true, my estranged mother is almost 50 and is getting weight loss surgery and plastic surgery to look young and hot again. There are women in their 80s that are still buying into this message its like it truly never ends once you're obsessed with looking good...
It sounds like you're exploring themes related to empowerment, self-acceptance, and embracing one’s inner complexity. Women, like everyone, can benefit from confidence and self-love, finding beauty in authenticity rather than societal standards. The concept of the "dark swan" may symbolize tapping into those deeper, often overlooked aspects of femininity, embracing strength, sensuality, and individuality. Encouraging women to embrace their full spectrum of emotions and characteristics-both light and dark-can lead to greater self-awareness and empowerment. By celebrating inner strength and sensuality, women can redefine beauty on their own terms. What are your thoughts on how women can activate this aspect of themselves in their daily lives?
This movie reminds me of perfect blue. Both movies are about the horror of being a famous woman, of being perceived and watched by the public. Helter Skelter is an amazing movie. If you’re looking for a less horrific piece of media with feminist themes, I recommend her tale of shim cheong. It’s a retelling of an old Korean tale about a girl sacrificing herself to the dragon king. It also has a gay couple who are the main characters. It’s a beautiful story, I highly recommend it. It’s only around 80 chapters so it’s not that long of a read
A scene from Fleabag puts it well, that aging isn't damning, but liberating because you finally learn what's truly important and stop caring for formalities. Kozue's self-awareness has already made her realize the shallowness of the industry, which will allow her to enjoy her career and ultimately struggle less or not at all with the fear of aging, unlike Lillico.
Liberating also because not everyone gets that privilege. Every wrinkle, every harder step, every ounce of slowed mobility is a sign you're body is still here
@@bunnywavyxx9524lol not all of us want to be here. And for women who only experience success in relation to their looks, they're utterly miserable for the rest of their lives
This is going to be a long comment, but I felt I had to say a few things, as someone who was obsessed with beauty and wanted a rhinoplasty since I was 13, and has had full face plastic surgery by 19, I saw so much of lilico in myself that I found it physically difficult to watch the movie, surgery is not a fairy tale, the constant worrying about your face falling apart, feeling vain or confident when people call you “stunning”, but then a small voice whispers “it’s all fake anyways.” And this deep rooted disgust, not relief, because if you are beautiful, you know people are only there for your looks, and if that goes, what’s left?? Only after I became “pretty” I realized how flat and replaceable I’d become, I took part in my own objectification, 2Dimensioning myself, spending hours on makeup not books. The pursuit of beauty in lilico and my own case was so ugly, full face bandages, full of pain and tears and I was 100% more insecure, surgery can’t fix the root issue, and that real beauty is confidence no matter how you look and knowing value is never based off looks alone, that’s how you actually shine and become irreplaceable. If any girls are reading this, please never get plastic surgery, don’t do what I did, glow and grow on the inside so that people love you for you. I know my comment is probably too long to read but I just relate so deeply to her, and it’s so sad how people were commenting about the actress’s beauty even after she took drugs etc saying how she is such a natural beauty, which literally missed everything the film tried to teach us. I can’t help but foresee so many more lilicos being born in the clinic of gangnam plastic surgery hospitals :(
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I've always wanted to do a lot of cosmetic procedures on my face because I always hated the way I looked, how my face resembles my parents which I hate and are abusive, and because of every mean or bullying comment I've heard about my every feature, and trust me, i heard a lot of them. But deep down I always had that little hope that small voice in the back of my head that tells me not to do it, it will only make things worse. My insecurities are huge and I'm always comparing myself to others, but what if even with surgery is never enough for me ? To feel good and confident. All I ever wanted since a little girl was to be respected and loved, seen by my ability to sing or draw for example, doing something for society. But my father was extremely misogynistic and abusive towards women. My dream was to be an animator, I gave up cause that's a men's job. And when I reached my teens, I went to a foster home where everyone pointed my every flaw and bullied me to the point of doing self harm and gaining an ED. Now I had forgotten my dreams of singing and drawing and only my beauty mattered, now is the make up and the clothes; show some skin to the boys or they won't have nothing to look at, don't be such a prude, what man will wanna marry you if you don't cook for him, you need to be curvy or they won't have nothing to grab, but also don't eat too much or you'll be fat and no guy wants a fat girl by his side, were just some comments I use to hear on a daily basis. And to clarify that ALL of this was said by women, and many other disgusting things. I was only a child trying to survive, at thirteen I didn't know any of this and anything about sex or boys. I just wanted to live my childhood, the sexual abuse I endured as a little girl was enough for me to not wanting to know anything about sex. But to sum it up I think that getting procedures done will only enhance and perpetuate my traumas and the stigma that I have in my mind about my own objectification and beauty standards, is only the outside that matters, cause it influences how the world sees me and treats me. The internalized male gaze in me will only grow bigger. I just hope that I can get better and get through this. I'm 21 now and I'm healing. I hope you are too !
rosie, thank you for sharing your story. Beauty comes in more ways than one, just like love. The physical beauty tends to be the most vulnerable to rapid decay and therefore most fascinating. The decay doesn’t have to be caused by aging, but also by boring or - worse - vulgar and unsophisticated personality that kills it fast. I’ve always been attracted to beauty that embodies charm, vivacity and intellect without pretension, although people like that can be quite bewitching and hard to follow. Some people have that inner light that pulls you close till you burn. I want to say that beauty is hard to define and it’s all around us. Stay well!
I just turned 24 last month. I had a damn near mental breakdown the day befor my birthday because I realized that I'm officially in my "mid-twenties." I'm no longer "young." I literally cried in my room and ruminated over my youth disappearing. The day of my birthday, I wasn't even excited. My family took me out for dinner, but I literally couldn't care less for the celebration. It scares me how much that impacted me. I don't know what my mental state will be like next year when I turn 25, or when I turn 28 or 30 or 35, etc. I AM young still but I feel like an old hag already. It's a terrible reality.
This hurt my heart, you’re so young! Honestly, keeping youth for me is keeping the state of mind. I’m going to be 31 in December and I still feel so damn young. I always remind myself in the mirror, “todays the youngest I’ll ever be, so I better make the most of it!” 💖
I could try but would likely fail to put into words just how much I relate to your comment, and it's painful to even stop and reply to this because I'm in the same place just a year older than you, but just know you're not alone.
That's a bit dramatic. That voice in your head that made you sad was the internalized male gaze that's prevalent in society and with which we all grew up. The girl from this channel talked about this in her Malena video. At 30, 35 you would stop caring about what society expects from you and how well your image fits in it. You would just live your life freely without caring about other people's expectations of you.
I feel you dood, I'm turning 27 soon and I feel ancient. Even though I've done a lot of healing and I'm off social media for over a year, the voice is still constant!
Can we all just sit back and really absorb how pedophilic women's beauty standards are? It's all about looking young enough to be 15, maybe even younger. Which is honestly disgusting. Even women going hairless reflects this because when else is a woman hairless? In her childhood.
Thats a reach 😂😂😂 and your own subjective perception. Some people just want a younger looking version of themselves in their 20s or 30s. Plus, where Im from men get cosmetic procedures done just as much as women, so it works both ways as not only women are being objectified amd sexualised (regarding the paedo comments you made)
i think after the second rewatch, it actually becomes clear that hada (seen working for her still and suspiciously not in the police interviews anymore) leaking lilico's pre-plastic surgery pictures was actually instructed by lilico herself, as a way of immortalizing her own impact. there were shots of encased butterflies flashing on the screen, on the event that she stabbed her eye. "so i decide how i destroy myself." i think in that case lilico is given more agency and (finally ceasing) control (of her story) instead of just "beating her wings the way everyone wants." but i also think the commentary gets sidelined that way and becomes more comical. it turns into how lilico is this mastermind that pulled the strings, smiling underground of the club she owns (decor being references to her and large vanity mirrors like the ones in her home could be seen when following hada downstairs) smiling at kozue, serving as a cautionary tale. because when you look at death in the eye, you'd only see your inevitable fate. she becomes like a boogeyman.. maybe it's saying you can't kill greed. but.. it makes me prefer the first interpretation which was more raw and philosophical. about capitalism creating a feeling of scarcity in women and the fear of how dispensable they are. lilico was just a woman. product of her own environment. doing anything she can to maintain beauty that is equated with success. a woman in a man's world.
I appreciate this analysis of the ending! I was actually going to ask people to comment what they think the ending means, because I was slightly stuck on what I believed the ending symbolized. I love your interpretation☺️
Dark femininity aligns closely with the concept of intuition, advocating for a reliance on inner wisdom and instinct. This can lead to empowerment in decision-making, as individuals learn to trust their gut feelings and perceptions, even in challenging circumstances.
This hits home with me so much. I'm a South Korean woman and my mom has pressured me since I was a elementary school kid to lose weight and to get plastic surgery when I was a fully grown adult. My whole life since then I've been struggling with body issues, eating disorders, and how ugly/worthless I found myself as a woman for my entire life. However, I've seen her go through the same issues, my grandma had gifted her double-eyelid surgery when she was a highschooler and eventually one that she told me to get as well. I even remember an instance where she went to a plastic surgery clinic and had me wait in the waiting room while she got her procedure done. I didn't think much of it as a child but seeing how deeply it affected my mom and then what she would tell me as a child, I can't help but feel as if this unrealistic expectation of beauty that women face is one that will traumatize every generation of girls who grow up in every society.
For women, the standard of beauty is always unattainable. Some may feel closer than others, but it’s always out of reach. When I see unedited photos of women like the Kardashians I am reminded of the cruel fact that the women who are upheld as the standard do not even meet that standard in real life. Despite knowing the truth, we are manipulated into spending billions of dollars on skincare, makeup, procedures, supplements- forever in pursuit of the unattainable. Even self care has been co-opted and commodified. It’s exhausting. We can’t have anything positive without it being warped and used against us.
@@nc5337 I was going to say the exact same thing, the most confidence you can get is from accepting yourself and focusing on the quality of your life instead of your appearance.
Dark femininity is often characterized by an embrace of the more complex, can be seen as powerful in various ways. It challenges traditional notions of femininity, which can be confined to lightness, passivity, and nurturing roles. Instead, dark femininity embraces traits often labeled as negative or taboo, such as assertiveness, seduction, independence, and even rage. This form of femininity can empower individuals to: 1. **Embrace Complexity**: Recognizing and accepting the full spectrum of emotions and traits, including those that are often suppressed or stigmatized. 2. **Challenge Norms**: Questioning and dismantling societal expectations surrounding gender roles, leading to more authentic self-expression. 3. **Empowerment Through Vulnerability**: Acknowledging one's vulnerabilities can create a stronger sense of self and resilience. 4. **Connection to Intuition**: Tapping into one’s inner wisdom and instincts, which can lead to personal empowerment and the ability to navigate complex situations. 5. **Reclaiming Narrative**: Taking ownership of one’s story and experiences, which can lead to greater agency and empowerment. Overall, dark femininity allows individuals to explore and express the full breadth of their identity, ultimately leading to a more nuanced understanding of power and self.
@@ripwednesdayadams 💯 they want you always pursuing something. To distract from your intrinsic value and from actually fortifying your mind. Denying your present self, romanticizing your past self and dreading and hoping for a better version of yourself in the future, which seems to conflict as they deny women their future or being self actualized. We are trapped in a suspended adolescence.
One look at me and I'm undeniable a masculine male... but this video brought me to tears in the realization that modern societies around the globe are abandoning women and all their ACTUAL worth just because they age. Just because their bodies start a process virtually every living organism must undergo. I'm not seperate from society, so it makes me sad that somewhere in my history I have perpetuated this cycle either knowingly or without a second thought... thank you for sharing your film, and societal, analysis. It is reminding me that love for women should not be bound to beauty and beauty alone. I always knew this deep in my heart but that doesn't mean i actively practiced the philosophy. I will work harder... 😢
Many men like you have empathy and true love for women. Sadly there are also many women who perpetuate the devaluation of women and they even play a part in the sexualization of young girls. I am a woman and I also listen to struggles that men young and old go through. We all must open to other’s experiences to understand them.
Although I'm a woman and believe that I do actively try not to practice this mindset, I cannot deny that it must've happened, that I also fall into this thinking. After all I am also part of society, and it does have a significant part in shaping our mind schemes. As you finish your paragraph, I will do the same I too will also work harder
thank you, thats so kind of you! there's a movie that touches the "world abandoning old women" subject. its an old film called sunset blvd but it has beautiful dialogue, amazing cinematography, and a wonderful plot.
Just a note: in the bit at 27:35, she actually doesn't say, "Who's the fairest of them all?" She says, "Who's suffering the most of them all?" I think it's a shame that the subtitle is wrong there because it takes that classic fairy tale line and turns it on its head. She may be the fairest of them all, but she is suffering the most because of her need to be the fairest.
I loved this movie so much, but the sad thing is that people just consume it like any other piece of media. They don't learn from it. I saw a vid about this movie on another asian video platform, and people in the comments were just making comments about Erika Sawajiri's appearance, either she was very beautiful or not beautiful. I was just annoyed, I was like bro, you completely missed the point of the movie. But I wasn't surprised. A part of me feels that people do understand what the movie is trying to say, but they don't care either because they have gone through it themselves and they have lost all hope, or they benefit from thriving off young people's, especially womens' insecurities, or they genuinely just don't care at all. It's quite sad, and sometimes I find myself losing hope that one day we will stop judging based on external appearance. Sometimes I feel like people could have a million movements, or make a million movies about this, or wait for thousands of insecure people to harm or k*ll themselves because of their image, yet nothing will change. Usually I don't talk much about feminism, but the sexism towards women's appearances especially in East Asian countries where this movie is set, is just too big to ignore.
ugh, this! I go to the comments section on a video discussing any sort of media centered around women, and so many are about appearance. They don't often care about the film or its message, because their lives are so centered around looks that they can only comment on that. It's honestly depressing.
But is East Asia having less children as a result? Are there less marriages, percent wise, than at any time in the 20th century? Are parents disowning children who look less beautiful than their surgically enhanced parents? If no, then it seems most people ignore perfectionist messaging in favor of a “good enough” reality. Those who are going crazy over perfectionist messaging are possibly the same sort of people who would’ve been excessively religious in the far off past.
i don't know whether you're aware of this but selena gomez was actually going to star in an american remake of this movie around 2017/ 2018. it was meant to be directed by petra collins and produced by drake but it got shelved around the same time as her health complications after the organ transplant. i find it really heartbreaking that she is now suffering the same fate as the character she was going to play, with people ridiculing her for her weight gain and thinning hair whilst she fights an autoimmune illness every day
Oh my god, is this what their movie “Spiral” was going to be? The last I heard anything about this was 2021, but I was hoping it was still potentially going to be made!
So true. So truthful, all of it. It is not the girl that matters, but the desire she represents. That's what makes us so discardable. Many women will value themselves for being the beauty ideal, and that fear of replacement suggests something else--that it is the beauty ideal, that values them. The only thing permanent is the value of beauty, not the woman, we are nothing but objects for it. "Women are taught to fear wilting before they have bloomed" no truer words ever spoken.
In essence, dark femininity is about embracing the full tapestry of experiences, emotions, and traits that define one’s identity. It empowers individuals to challenge societal norms, reclaim their narratives, and embrace their complexities, paving the way for a richer and more profound understanding of both personal power and the broader spectrum of femininity. This holistic approach encourages a society that values authenticity and depth over superficiality, ultimately shifting the conversation around gender and identity toward inclusivity and empowerment.
@@PoisonelleMisty4311 There is no such thing as "dark" or "light" femininity because femininity as an experience is too versatile to be defined by two categories.
I used to love the phrase 'age gracefully' as a young 20 something. But that phrase, most often than not, is made as an insult to women who have done/are doing cosmetic procedures to prevent aging (in a world where aging as a woman is frowned upon). Also that phrase only applies to women who fit into society beauty standards as a young women and maintain that look with aging; so if you're not considered conventionally attractive, you won't be considered 'aging gracefully' because you're not 'pleasing' to look at. My stand on it now is age however you want as long as you're happy. But try not to go broke chasing for the perfection with money you don't have - you're not the celebrities you look up to, you don't have to look exactly like them. I think it's hard for us women and young girls to stop worrying about aging and we (as women) shouldn't be shaming other women for being obsessed with looking as young as possible, to try to stop aging. I'm a skincare fanatic and well it took me a while to deprogrammed myself from the obsession of flawless, poreless, smooth wrinkle free perfect skin. Another realisation that hit me recently was that I adore the eye wrinkles and smile lines on men, but I was so worried about wrinkles appearing on my face - like why? Why am I subjecting myself to such paranoia and double standards? I'm, of course, still worried about aging but it's a slow process to let things that are out of my controls be.
"Ah, 'aging gracefully'-the ultimate juggling act where the spotlight's on societal standards, and the safety net is apparently 'natural beauty.' Maybe we should just flip the script and start celebrating 'aging fabulously' instead? After all, who wouldn't want to rock their personal best while sipping on the elixir of confidence?"
In a world where gender roles are rigidly defined, dark femininity encourages individuals to question what has been traditionally expected. It embraces qualities that are often vilified in women, such as anger and sexual agency, thereby creating space for a more expansive expression of one’s identity and reducing the stigma associated with these traits.
“The torment in growing older as a woman” …that hit so hard. It’s sad because we are all beautiful and unique in our own ways. Aging should be a happy process but instead we are brainwashed to always look younger. Kind of needed this video. Been feeling really down lately. Thank you for posting this.
"Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's so true that aging can be seen in such a negative light when, in reality, it’s a beautiful journey filled with wisdom and experiences. I’m really glad the video resonated with you. Remember, it’s okay to feel down sometimes, but embracing our uniqueness is powerful. We’re not alone in this-let’s uplift and support each other in celebrating who we are at every age!"
One of my favourite movies of all time! Erika Sawajiri is just phenomenal as Lilico. Also love love love Ninagawa`s "Sakuran" movie, her usage of color is astonishing. Such an eye candy of movies (even though Helter Skelter is hella disturbing lol). Thanks for the essay!
She was truly the perfect casting of Lilico! She has a very captivating beauty where she truly looks like a doll. Had a Tomie film been made around this time I definitely could have seen her playing a perfect Tomie as well!
@@FinalGirlStudios hi she was on drugs when filming this movie, if u follow japanese media, u know what happened. also in japan awhile ago there was a man who exposed the whole actors and actresses industry in japan, and he confirms it
Have you read the Josei manga "In Clothes Called Fat" by Moyocco Anno? It's the same author who wrote the story of Sakuran. I highly recommend it if you are a fan!
Even though I have insecurities about how I look now, I hold no desire to look young when I’m older. All of the older women in my life taught me that aging gracefully comes from taking care of yourself and not chasing youth. Tomorrow will always come.
"Absolutely! Why chase youth when you can embrace the wisdom that comes with age? Plus, I hear wrinkles are just laughter lines in disguise! So, bring on the years-I’ll be the ageless wonder laughing my way through life, one laugh line at a time!"
My body and face dysmorphia started when I was 11. I started going through puberty and my skin and body changed and everyone noticed me and judged how bad my acne was. That’s when I realized everybody is judging me at all times. Everyone can see my flaws. People don’t see me they see everything wrong with me. I can’t imagine someone loving me without including looks. I feel disgusting inside and out. I feel rotten at 19. If I can’t be pretty what can I be? What even am I ? I took down and covered my mirrors the other day. I can’t stand to look at myself because all I see is flaws and I feel less of a woman.
The comodification of women's bodies is something so terrifying, the movie depicts the experience of living under a system with such practices very well, it's a disorienting, lonely, dreadful and violent expirience.
"Absolutely, it’s like buying a ticket to a horror movie you never signed up for-one where the plot twists just keep getting darker. At least in the theater, you can leave when it gets too intense, but this is real life! Maybe we need to start handing out popcorn and therapy bills instead."
It's not just capitalism and consumerism. It's also about patriarchy. The female body is sexualized from the moment the Young Girl crosses over from childhood into adolescence. (Sometimes even before that). Society has always had an obsession... but just with beauty - but also with purity and virginity. And it doesn't escape my notice that many socially accepted "beauty standards" for women hyper focus on attributes women only have when they are either a child or an adolescent. Beauty Standards has never accounted for the way a woman's body changes with time - not even small, imperceptible ways. We always struggling to look like we did when we were experiencing our first moments of sexual discovery - a time when the most women are generally inexperienced and psychologically vulnerable. There is an unacknowledged, *_predatory_* component to female beauty standards that is worth looking into.
"Ah, the perfect recipe for societal dysfunction: mix a dash of capitalism, a generous splash of patriarchy, and sprinkle in some unrealistic beauty standards. It's like a toxic cocktail that leaves us all hungover on self-doubt. I mean, who knew that growing up would come with a side of predatory gaze? Maybe we should add 'embracing imperfection' to the beauty standards list-it's the only thing that seems to age well!"
This was beautiful yet haunting to watch. Thank you for creating this video essay. It finally gave me the push to confront insecurities that were growing from the very same concepts that were discussed and also to delete TikTok.
"Oh wow, confronting insecurities and deleting TikTok? What a groundbreaking transformation! I'm sure the world has never seen anything quite like it. You're basically a hero now!"
This makes me cry, I just wanna be loved for the person I am and not the person I have to pretend to be. I don't wanna wear make up, I don't wanna dress pretty, I don't wanna starve myself to be skinny, I don't wanna get plastic surgery to fix my nose but I feel worthless when I don't fit these molds. I always feel like my boyfriend wouldn't love me if I'm not pretty or girly girl because why should he? I always feel like I have to compete with other girls my age because beauty is all a women is valued for, I miss being a kid where I could be a nerdy tomboy and no one would judge me. I don't always wanna feel insecure and less than of a girl cus I'm not competing with other women, I just wanna be happy. I wish we would judge people more on their content of character than their appearance.
Do you think that you have a very good character? Do you have achievements that are not related to appearance for which you could be appreciated? Actually I doubt it. Because people who can be valued for their achievements and character usually do not face the fact that they are valued only for their appearance.
"Oh, absolutely! Because clearly, the world is just waiting for you to show up bare-faced and in sweatpants for everyone to start applauding your bravery. Who needs love and acceptance when you can just fight the good fight against societal norms while wearing your pajamas? Such a revolutionary concept!"
Honestly when I watched that movie I really felt bad for Lilico, to me she's such a tragic character. Nobody in her life considers her a person, she's just seen as an investment, or as gratification for sexual desire, or she's put on a pedestal which leads to people always discarding her feelings (I genuinely felt bad at the scene where she's crying on the rooftop). Nobody loved her and she knew that once she lost her beauty, she would lose everyone, because nobody saw anything past that anyway.
"Oh, absolutely! Because nothing screams ‘tragic character’ like being the center of everyone’s attention and having everyone else’s problems revolve around you. I mean, who wouldn’t want that kind of ‘investment’? Clearly, she’s the real victim here!"
This movie really resonates with me. When I turned 18, I had this feeling that I was a bit afraid to stop looking like a “girl.” I was scared to look like an adult, a real woman. Even my co worker had told me to wear red lipstick and a dress because that was more appropriate for my age. I was terrified afterwards. Like my face was going to slip away at any moment. I am certainly not pretty, in fact I’m rather homely, but over the past year at 19, I’ve been trying to work on myself. I’ve always wanted plastic surgery since I was young. The only reason I haven’t gotten any is simply because I don’t have the money, or the time. But I have begun to tell myself, what is wrong with looking like a woman, and not a girl? I don’t want to fear getting older. I don’t want to be like Lilico.
I'm turning 30 in a year, I also always wanted plastic surgery, I remember thinking about it when I was 8 years old already. I still haven't gotten anything done and the older I get the more glad I am that I didn't. Being in your 20s is hard, dealing with not being a teenager anymore and growing into a woman. For me it helped to stop following beauty influencers or just pretty girls on the internet, we compare ourselves if we want it or not. Beauty filters are damaging as well. Stopping all that made me more comfortable with how I look in the mirror, I can now appreciate the face I have. It's what was handed down to you by your ancestors and is making you unique. I hope you can also learn to love yourself how you are worth to be loved. We are all beautiful in our own unique way. Hang in there
"Oh wow, what a profound revelation! So you’re telling me that looking like a woman might actually be okay? Groundbreaking! And here I thought all those beauty standards were set in stone. Good for you on the whole ‘self-discovery’ journey - maybe one day you'll write a bestseller about it!"
I remember, back in school, we were discussing plastic surgery in ethics class. There was a lot of different takes, mostly against it. One girl then raised her hand and came out about having her ears operated on as a child, it was so she wouldn't get bullied for having large ears. Noone knew before that. Even then I thought it was very brave of her to tell us that.. and I believe the responses of the other students were a lot kinder after that. So that's something that I'm glad happened
It's truly moving how that moment left an impact on you. It’s a powerful reminder of how vulnerable sharing our personal stories can be, and how it can foster understanding and compassion in others. That girl’s bravery not only highlighted the struggles individuals face with societal pressures but also opened up a space for empathy among your classmates. It’s heartwarming to hear that it shifted the atmosphere to one of kindness. Moments like these show just how important it is to create environments where people feel safe to share their experiences. Thank you for sharing this; it’s a beautiful example of how we can support one another and promote acceptance.
My sister used to be a model but she was struggling with gigs because she advocates for strength, health, and fitness. She is tall and has more muscle than what is to be expected for a model on the runway so she is never going to be booked for something that expects thin and lithe people to be the perfect coats hangers of the clothes. She has grown to move into film and martial arts. I constantly sees her struggles but also shake my head that the beauty industry and fashion industry perpetuates and encourages toxic ideals for money.
"Sounds like your sister is too busy being an actual superhero to fit into the mold of a runway coat hanger! I mean, who needs to be 'thin and lithe' when you can kick butt in martial arts and break stereotypes in film? Maybe one day the fashion industry will catch up and realize that strength is the new ‘it’ factor. Until then, she’s just a trendsetter, not a runway model!"
Love this video, I just have one thing to add: In Japan the need and desire to be young is even more intense and toxic than in western culture. You can see this from anime or any j-dramas. In Sailor Moon, Usagi is only 14 years old when the show starts, in Card Captor Sakura the protagonist (Sakura) is only 9. In Japan being 30 is considered very old, too late to change, too late to start anything new. And of course, if you are not married you will be looked down upon. 30 is a deadline.
To add on, the idol industry only debuts girls from 12 to 20, before they even reach mental maturity whereas guys can debut from 17 and above. And male idols have the option to keep going and there are many older adult male idols whereas most woman are expected to graduated by I will say for Sailor Moon and CCS, those are meant to be targeted towards kids of the age group. That being said, the waifness of the main characters in the manga and Crystal for Sailor Moon was incredibly uncomfortable.
I agree about the desire being even more intense, but I don't think Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura are great examples of it, because they're literally magical stories for young girls to feel powerful in their uncertain and maybe somehow strange teenage years, written by women too. Although it's quite interesting how all this "magical girl" concept eventually attracted attention of a lot of male fans for... different reasons, resulting in appearance of stories where magical girls aren't the symbol of a teenager who is on her adventure of discovering herself, but more of an image of just "a young cute girl".
Oh, absolutely! And let's not forget that the ultimate beauty secret is obviously an ancient ritual of drinking blood. Who needs skincare when you can just tap into the timeless practices of yore? I'm sure a little "vampire chic" will have everyone looking eternally youthful in no time!
i see erika sawajiri everywhere on pinterest, and this movie caught my eye for the immaculate aesthetics. After watching the trailer, and not finding the movie anywhere, I decided to just watch deep dives on youtube about it - so your timing is on point xx thank you!
The sad thing is the actress that plays Liliko (Erika Sawajiri) herself has had a turbulent career as an idol, model, actress and singer and i wonder if the movie is a dark mirror on her own experiences in the industry.
And how dare we expect kindness to be reciprocated? That’s just setting ourselves up for disappointment and, apparently, social anarchy! 🙃 #SelfSabotage #KindnessIsKey
I'm a guy and as strange as it sounds i really identify with this pursuit of beauty, maybe because my gender identity, sexuality and perception is different from most men, but i have always modeled myself and my looks after women's beauty standards. Its bad enough as it is, having full breakdowns over my looks and how other people perceive me and how i perceive myself, so I can't imagine having been born a girl and having these beauty standards pushed on me even more by the people around me. I really feel for you guys, your all so strong
I don’t think it’s strange at all! The book I quote multiple times in this video titled “Theory of the Young-Girl” by Tiqqun actually begins by stating that the “Young-Girl” is a genderless concept. It’s one of my all time favourite books, I would definitely recommend it, especially if this video resonated with u ☺️
"Oh wow, it must be so tough being a guy who cares about beauty standards-such a unique struggle! I mean, we girls just have it so easy, right? Thanks for your heartfelt empathy; I’m sure it really lights up our day knowing we have your support as we navigate these 'pushed-on' standards! You're really breaking new ground here!"
@@PoisonelleMisty4311tf are u talking about ? In the gay community the standards are rough too, this cant be compared and he didn’t compare his struggles to anyone. You’re rude and ignorant
Amazing video essay, I will be haunted for the next few days with the idea that men get to "celebrate" being boys and later men, contrary to what happens when we go from young girls to women. Definitely subscribing and can't wait to watch more of your videos!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It's great to hear that the video resonated with you. The differences in how society views the transition from girlhood to womanhood versus boyhood to manhood is a powerful topic, and it’s important to explore those narratives. I’m glad you found it thought-provoking! I’m excited to share more content with you that delves into these important themes. Stay tuned for more videos, and thanks for subscribing!
This is one of my favourite films (obviously from my username), and the manga is very disturbing too but Mika Ninagawa has a knack for adapting mangas that have great potential although you'd never figure out how to adapt into a film and turn them entirely into her own. Correction: you referred to shojo as targeted towards adult female audiences, shojo is actually targeted towards young female audiences, particularly teens, pre-teens, children and young adult women. Classic shojo titles include Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Boys over Flowers etc. and often deal with young love, magical girls etc. Kyoko's work and themes dealing with urban women and their inner lives actually puts her in the genre josei, which is targeted towards adult women. Nice to see this film covered. When I watched The Neon Demon, I thought that Helter Skelter was a much more successful version exploring the same themes and same horror surrealist tone. I'm not sure how people will see it, but Mika Ninagawa is a very celebrated fashion photographer so it could be considered ironic she made such a chilling film of the industry she truly loves. Perhaps it's because she truly loves fashion and photography and the beautiful women she photographs that she understands it more than anyone. She has said before she is fascinated by her own love of contradictions, and of artificially created things, especially due to her family's connection to theatre (recurring themes in her work include goldfish (as goldfish were created and bred for captivity), artificial flowers, and intensely saturated, surrealist fashion photography and environments).
Thank you for the clarification! You're absolutely right about the distinctions between shojo and josei. Shojo does indeed cater mainly to younger female audiences, often focusing on themes of young love and the adventures of teenage characters, while josei looks at more complex issues relevant to adult women, tackling topics like relationships, career struggles, and personal growth. Mika Ninagawa's adaptations of manga often bring her unique vision to the screen, transforming stories in ways that resonate emotionally and visually, even when they are challenging or disturbing. Her ability to capture the essence of the original work while infusing it with her artistic style is commendable. It's always interesting to see how directors interpret source material in ways that reflect their own creative identities.
The scariest part is that we view beauty as something that testify health, also we shame women whatever they chose to do when they can't control our perception of them. We never like women for them by for the way we perceive them. We objectify them. I think the reason we have through centuries failed to acknowledge mental health is because as a society we are the ones that perpetuate abuse, creating a hierarchy and a fear of being less liked because someone else is also liked. Basically we believe that our value ( what even is that?) is lessened when someone else's value increases. Thus leading us not to feel empathy and having trust issues/ paranoid tendencies. And that is cruelty... I'm not excusing anyone wether you didn't have bad intentions or you have excuses (ex: mental disorders) if you kill someone there's no way back, it's all the same. There's a saying that goes "treat others the way you want to be treated" I believe people interpret it wrong, If you treat some people well other people are not going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Believing that is self sabotage, the way you treat people tells about the way you treat yourself. Other people are not responsible for your trust issues, mental illnesses or paranoid tendencies, in fact even if they wanted they couldn't help you. If you want help seek for support from professionals because we all need at one point some help to get through it. Self sabotage is never good, and hurting people even if you think they deserve it is none of your concern. Don't give up, it's frightening to know that wether people like you or not it doesn't define you, it's confusing because it means that even if there are some people who like you it doesn't mean you are a good person and vice-versa, it's then complicated to define yourself the one you knew through others. But believe in yourself
Oh wow, what a revelation! Who knew that our warped perceptions could lead to such terrible self-esteem? And here I was, blissfully unaware that my worth was determined by the number of likes on my last Instagram post. 🤦♀ #DeepThoughts #SocialMediaPsychology
i love your videos! the normalization of plastic surgery is truly horrifying. i just recently had a daughter and the amount of fear i have as she grows up and sees how hard it is to be a woman keeps me up at night. its important we tell our little girls in society affirmations that are not just centered around beauty. had a guy come up to my babies dad and say shes gonna be a real looker when shes older. made my stomach turn. an 8 month old baby already judged on how beautiful shes going to 'turn out'. im only 21 so im still trying to work on my own reprogamming of beauty standards and ecspecially now so i can set an example. its important all us women set good examples and not put beauty on such a high pedestals for the future of young girls. as best we can
It's wonderful that you're reflecting on these important issues and striving to set a positive example for your daughter. The normalization of beauty standards and plastic surgery can indeed create unrealistic expectations, especially for young girls. By focusing on affirmations that emphasize qualities like intelligence, kindness, creativity, and resilience, we can help shift the narrative away from superficial appearances. It's also crucial to foster an environment where self-worth is not tied to looks. Encouraging open discussions about media representations of beauty and the importance of inner qualities can empower young girls to appreciate themselves fully. Moreover, actively challenging comments that reduce a child’s worth to their appearance-like the one you encountered-can help create a culture that values individuality and character over conventional beauty. As you continue to work on your own perception of beauty, remember that your journey is a powerful example for your daughter. Your awareness and dedication to promoting a healthier dialogue around beauty and self-worth will certainly have a lasting impact on her life. Supporting each other as women in this endeavor is vital-together, we can make a difference!
I never have watched the film but I read the manga online when I was 15 when I was addicted to the Josei genre(The work is Josei not Shoujo). It was reading the manga at that time that I realized that media hates women aging. I never noticed that because the older women I was surrounded with throughout my life celebrated their aging and the men in my life accepted and honoured it. The women in my life told me that I shouldn't fear growing old and I appreciate it and told me there is beauty in growing old, your wrinkles, and your gray hair. They told me that I should focus on being kind person and just taking good care of myself. These women told me that an old face and a good personality holds a beautiful warmth that lives eternally in the hearts of their loved ones and others. I guesss that's why growing up as a Woman I was never bothered by aging it's because the men and women I was surrounded with taught me that it's beautiful to grow old just as how beautiful it is to live life. I'm also raised in a Catholic household and a family-oriented setting so I think that could be one of the contributing factors.
I recently read an article by Elise Hu about Korea's cosmetic procedure industry that added a whole other layer to this video for me. Korea has lots of advanced cosmetic treatments/procedures that aren't found anywhere else, and are also intentionally made to be more affordable than similar procedures in other locations. Lots of people travel to Korea specifically for these procedures and the cosmetics industry there is a big part of their economy and is very well funded by the government. Which is so dark and frightening when you stop to think about it, at least to me. I rly recommend this article btw, it's called "How Selling a Nation Means Selling Fixes to Your Body", it's a fairly quick read but such an important topic
Elise Hu's article sounds like a fascinating and thought-provoking read, especially considering the intersection of culture, beauty standards, and economic factors in South Korea's cosmetic procedure industry. The idea that an entire economy can thrive on cosmetic enhancements not only reflects societal values about beauty but also raises ethical questions about body image and self-acceptance. The affordability and advanced nature of these procedures likely contribute to the phenomenon of "medical tourism," where individuals travel specifically to get surgeries or treatments that may be less accessible or more expensive in their home countries. This trend speaks volumes about the global influence of South Korean beauty ideals and the lengths people are willing to go to meet these standards. Moreover, it’s important to consider the implications of this industry on mental health and self-esteem, as the pressure to conform to specific beauty ideals can be overwhelming. The fact that the government supports this sector hints at a complex relationship between national identity and physical appearance. It sounds like the article provides a nuanced perspective on how these dynamics play out in South Korea, and it's certainly a topic worth exploring further. Thank you for the recommendation!
It's very interesting how the universe works. I have been obsessing over my appearance for the past 5 months. I kept telling myself that if I changed X or Y, Z thing on my body, that I'll finally feel good about myself. I told myself that maybe if my hair looked better, it would change my entire face shape and thus I would finally be pretty, so as a consequence, people would treat me better. I've been letting my physical appearance define my worth as a person. I've been caring so much about what other people of me. I thought I got out of my people pleasing phase, but apparently it has came back and it only has gotten worst. And seing that video was a very good reminder that beauty is not eternal, so I should not waste my young years obsessing over what I look like and what people think of me. Because really, like the character in that movie said "we're all disposable". In conclusion, I rather die knowing that I did everything that I could to be happy, then dying and realizing that I've waisted so much time over things that didn't really matter in the end.
New subscriber thank you for this video essay! This got me thinking back to my teenage years when I was deeply enveloped in the law of attraction (manifestation) & subliminal communities. I was one of many teenage girls (some even younger) who were absolutely obsessed with manifesting more and more beauty with varying degrees of aesthetic sometimes based off real people, entirely fictitious people, or even more impossible standards based off CGI. Looking back I would dissociate and self-abandon frequently due to poor coping mechanisms. Speaking among other skeptics I realized a lot of them we’re experiencing a lot of depersonalization/ derealization as well. It’s almost as if they were encouraging it since we were expected to perform daily obsessive mental rituals (thought & emotion stopping techniques) to make sure we didn’t have any thought, emotion or behavior that would accidentally affirm the reality of our past, undesirable selves but were then blamed for remaining “undesirable” when doing as instructed ultimately failed in turn triggering more episodes of dissociation and self-abandonment. It was a known, unspoken secret that a lot of members of the community considered it to be their last resort to stop them from committing su*c*de. We were a community who had a self-pleasing, gluttonous, and voyeuristic obsession that rendered all beautiful things as aesthetic objects to collect not realizing we were doing to others exactly what they’d done to us. There is no amount of high vibrating spiritual wooo to cover that BS glad I left and have deconstructed from that belief system.
My heart is so sore for so many women and girls that have to go through society discovering that our beauty is actually our biggest commodity. Will there ever be a day when we stop talking about it and actually do something to change society? I pray for that day.
Im tired of trying to be beautiful and perfect. It’s just impossible, yet I have been trying to achieve it ever since I can remember. It makes me hate myself
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed when trying to meet the often unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection that society promotes. Remember that beauty comes in many forms, and what truly matters is how you feel about yourself. It's important to focus on self-acceptance and recognizing your unique qualities. Consider taking a step back to reflect on what you value about yourself beyond physical appearance. This might involve journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or even seeking professional support. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and engaging in activities that make you feel good can also help shift your perspective. You are not alone in these feelings, and it's okay to ask for help. Celebrate small steps towards self-compassion and remember that you are worthy just as you are.
I'm not sure if someone has commented this, but if you are a fan of this movie/manga, I highly recommend the Josei manga "In Clothes Called Fat" by Moyocco Anno (also note, she is Hideki Anno's wife, the creator of Evangelion). Without giving too much away, it touches on a lot of themes of being a woman in society being constantly scrutinized for their appearance and the obsession of ones appearance. In this instance however, it's from the perspective of a woman who is in the opposite position where she is being ridiculed. It's another dark one if you're into that, but @Final Girl Studios, I would love to hear your thoughts!
when I was 11 or 12, I heard an ad on the radio for "the gummy bear procedure". it was described as a breast augmentation surgery that would make your breasts bigger and you could go to work the same day from the noninvasive procedure. I went all of middle school and high school convinced that when I turned 18 I would get this surgery. I'm happy to be 21 now and realize just how much garbage was being shoved down my throat every day rom the media telling me exactly how I had to look and exactly how to become that. I wish I could've seen this movie when I was younger to realize just how inescapable women's beauty standards are/were and put my energy into loving myself instead of that crap. Thank you for an amazing video!
Apologies for the random little silent section at 16:35! The clip contained copyrighted music and so it was muted. Luckily the clip had subtitles, so you can still understand the context of what is being said.
CORRECTIONS: I have read the manga. She's a Josei (female young adult) author, not for young girls. The manga has sex (not explicit) and mental illness.
Finally someone explores Helter Skelter! It reminds me of so many kpop scenarios, especially the ‘there will always be someone younger or prettier’ line.
This was a nice video essay & now I need to check out Helter Skelter. Although I’m not a fan of the KarJenners there’s a valid point being made about Kylie’s surgery versus that of her sisters. However I think some of the added vitriol stems from Kylie’s appropriation on her rise to her current status. Maybe this analysis can be extended to Latin & Non Hispanic Black women because beauty standards are especially taxing for the latter
Agreed 100%! I’m not a fan of Kardashians or the Jenner sisters either and the very valid criticisms on the KarJenner’s appropriation of Black features are not what I was referring to, but rather the blanket statements of calling her before photos ugly. I think there is a lot of room for criticisms surrounding plastic surgery especially when Black (and BIPOC in general) features are being fetishized and made into “trends”.
I had to replay that statement several times... "young women are discarded as rotten before they are ripe" That's powerful and so true. Wow. The whole video reminded me of a situation I had when I was 14. I was in the train with two classmates on my way home. One of them told me just out of the blue: "You should get a nose job!" I was absolutely baffled and didn't even know how to react. Needless to say that I felt absolutely insecure about different parts of my body (I'm also an afab trans person) and at that moment my nose was added to the list. I'm watching your videos back to back, today. They're heart-breaking but absolutely well done!
i don’t know how but this particular video essay almost wiped out all my insecurities about my body and face. you just organized the information in such progressive and responsive way that it touched my heart. thank you for your amazing work
I feel like because I never was conventionally beautiful I was able to bypass this obsession. It brought me a lot of grief while I was younger but I think it also kept me sane.
"if i stop being popular ,they will leave me"this kindof break my heart...because i myself feels like that.....i had suffered with severe acne...and my gosh once i went away people will approach me ,befriend me💔everyday is a struggle because am scared if it will come bac...even one single affects me so much...watching this video made me realise that its not worth it..i should accept myself..if i want to change i do it for myself ❤
I absolutely ADORE this movie. However the similar parallels between Lilico and Erika make me feel melancholic whenever I watch it. A cruel industry that chews you up and spits you out if you make one mistake or are no longer considered "profitable".
This hurts a lot, it hurts so much that sometimes it is kinda hard to breathe or see through the pain. I'm free of that nowadays, but I remember to look at myself and the mirror and it was natural to think "why do you look disgusting like this?", and it hurts to know that I treat myself like that. Sometimes when I'm in a social environment with other women I hear things like "I need to do this procedure and that one and this one" as natural as saying that you're gonna put butter in a piece of bread. "I need to stop eating" as natural as the Sun goes up and down. But it's no end, they’re not gonna point at themselves, they're gonna point at you too, like it's normal to talk about the body of others as their own… I think the quote used in the video was very concise: “they don't love themselves, they love their “self image”. Thank you for this video! s2
Your video essay was profound. I could never describe the visceral horror of girlhood and the ever looming doom of just existing in girlhood and womanhood. I love the movie helter skelter and your essay explained so much that went over my head in my first viewing.
I’ve been saying this for years and often get told otherwise to the point I was starting to question my own opinion(these few year or two) Your video REALLY MEANS A LOT to me and the comment section. You guys seriously made me tear up with joy. I’m not as lonely as I feared. Thank you, truly.
What's amazing to me is that whether or not we persue beauty as a woman we are still a slave to it. I have always been conventionally attractive. Not in a way that is too much above average but enough to attract attention. This combined with my unique heritage gives me a unique look that stands out. I grew up in a small town with little money and in a family that looked down on people who choose to put too much effort into appearances. When i left my small town for many years i had people comment to me that my hair looked bad or why didn't i care more about my appearance? Why didn't I ever wear makeup? I began to see that it is almost taken as an insult to not try. Other less attractive individuals weren't hounded like this though, almost as if they get a pass because it wouldn't make a difference for them. I got called a hippie in a insulting way many times or people would just dismiss me in conversation and disrespect me. One day I decided to change, to try. Not for them, but for myself. I knew nothing so i truly had to start from scratch, learning about hair and makeup, and how to dress. If people were going to constantly comment on my appearance and treat me differently based on that, I was at least going to do what I could to present myself the way I wanted to be seen. The difference in my life after that was dramatic. People fall over themselves to help me just because of the way I look. It has given me a sense of empowerment, but underneath of that I don't identify with it, i very much try not to.
I've had a similar experience, I grew up as the "ugly" girl or at least that's how I'd perceived it. I have very thick curly hair and I didn't know how to take care of it let alone style it, I also didn't have access to nice clothes and would wear a baggy hoodie for most of my high school years. Eventually as I got older I learned how to dress "proper" and to style my hair and it really is a night and day difference to how people treat you. A lot of the time I wish people weren't distracted by the way I looked and could perceive my actual personality, skills and talent. And if they do notice my inner qualities or support my pursuits I can't help but doubt their honesty because I don't know if they actually see me for "me" or are they being influenced by my looks to help me.
We can’t win. It doesn’t matter if natural beauty or not. So why keep trying to win? I see it now like this : I have nothing to lose cause I lose anyways. So I just breath and live in the moment. I’m so tired of this world. Don’t go through all that pain stay natural and live the best way you can alone or in company, loved , ignored or hated. We must stop trying so hard to control what we can’t , when we try to control we inforce the problem when we let go it adjusts it self, the problem fades. (Only talking about those we can’t control) it’s like when we overthink , when it gets to the point it’s too much, at the peak it becomes nothing. Same thing as pain when it’s at its peak you tend to feel the opposite soon after you released the pain , or fear when you stop feeding it , it suddenly becomes smaller till it’s gone. I hope it made sense .
I loved this movie since I saw it in highschool and I didn’t even know why. I just related to her anguish, self hate and obsession with looks deeply. I also think it’s interesting that Kiko Mizuhara is in this movie, as she has basically been the Liliko of Japan, at least from an international perspective, in the sense that she’s been the number one model in the country since I was in highschool. I wonder what her views are on the topic.
Is it normal that I got too emotional and disturbed that I cried a little by the end of the video? Excellent video essay. I have watched the movie before but had completely forgotten about it Edit: subbed 💚
I'm actually glad I watched this movie during my teen years. It exposes me to this extreme obsession with beauty. I can't say that I'm perfectly fine with myself but this is like a reminder for me every time.
DYSTOPIAN is absolutely the correct descriptor...of human society. The Screams at 19:00 accurately express how I feel about this sickness of these paradigms. Brilliant Analysis and a Movie/Manga that I should watch/read. Thanks!
Not to be that Pisces painting at 5am but the part where you show the plastic surgery montage to a girl screaming made me cry it’s just so exhausting being constantly seen and scrutinized and feeling like I’m running out of time but honestly I’m feeling better about myself at 25 then I ever have and will only continue to get hotter and more aware of myself and the world and we got this y’all 💝😭
As a man, I watched this till the end because I want to gain a better understanding of what women has to go through their life. I totally agree with a lot of points made in this video especially the part about men not getting as afraid of aging as women. I personally think it also has something to do with the different fertility rate of men and women as they age. Social media has affected us in a lot of negative ways as much as it helped us and no one is immune to it. There was a time in my life where I feel very insecure about a lot of things. Balding, not having straight teeth, not having a lot of money, and so on. This is one of the main reasons why I stopped mindlessly browsing through my social media accounts to get a constant hit of dopamine. But just like with everything in life, I learned to move on and decided to focus on the things that I can control. I now only used my social media accounts for learning, communication and business purposes. Being generally attractive is just one small aspect of life and I know that even if I don't have it, I still have way too many things to be thankful for.
As a 24 year old woman, I don't care about the future fading of my attractiveness since I believe I was designed by God himself for a purpose. Not only women but also men are just flesh. We came from dust and to dust we shall return!! And there's beauty in that.. knowing that life is but a vapor.
We obsess too much over one fleeting kind of beauty--that is, youthful beauty--when there is a different kind of beauty in each stage of life. If you take care of yourself, you can still be beautiful in old age, just in a different way. We need to open up to all kinds of beauty and stop obsessing over the shortest-lived and least significant kinds.
Something I noticed in the film is how they represent the operation table. It looks as though she's strapped down with what is essentially kink gear. Not sure what the metaphor of that is, but there very obviously is one. For context a traditional plastic surgery operation table has two long straps: one that goes across the lower abdomen and wrists, and another that goes over the ankles.
I thought the same thing. The way I interpreted it: Her being shackled to the operating-table in that way shows her as being a slave to the beauty industry. She has to endure pain and repeated treatments in order to keep up her appearance. Thus a bondage-reference is quite fitting, plus the element of masochism. The woman who goes through repeated suffering in her pursuit to become beautiful, nothing more than a tortured, bound slave. It can also be a reference to the restraints mental-patients have to be bound with in extreme cases, again alluding to her decreasing sanity. Brutal imagery, but I think this movie does it in a masterful way in order to tell the story.
Oh wow that’s awesome! Did you enjoy the manga? It seems as though Mika Ninagawa remained pretty loyal to the source material, and her background as a photographer made the film sooo visually beautiful. If you enjoyed the manga I’m sure you’ll enjoy the film! And thank you for your kind words ☺️
Hello ! Just watched substance and feel as if they took some inspo from this specific movie . (As well as several other movies )Love your take on this .
You are definitely one of my favorite UA-camrs at this point. Love how deep you go with the information and how beautiful you explain everything. We are so blessed with your content girl
I think its really important to take the time to self reflect. Its important to recognise how certain images and situations make you feel a certain way and start taking action to address those feelings. I think one of the issues today is that social media does not give you time to relfect on your feelings and a lot of the stuff that we see today is specifically designed to make you feel a certain way. Facebook decided to do a completely unethical study where they selected a very large section of their audience, showed more negative content to one group and pushed more postive and uplifting content to the other group. Im pretty sure i was in the negative group because i found that i was getting upset a lot with what i was seeing and eventually moved to another social media. once i found out about this unethical study they did i stopped using facebook altogether. But its important to note that everyone has an inhernt negative bias, we are natrually programed to think negative first, im not 100% sure why but being positive and makeing postive choices is not someting that is natural to us and takes work. People who are appear to be just naturally positive and heartwarming have put work into being that way and everyone else needs to start practicing positivity both within themselves and through their behaviour and interaction with others. First step, find a way to view this video in a postive way. Make a choice to change your perspective on this video, because it would be easy to leave and feel hurt by society standards and how the world treats women, i used to feel that way all the time.
also i think another thing to highlight, the actor who played lilico - Erika Sawajiri is interesting aswell, she was caught for drug possession and using a range of drugs from MDMA, LSD, marijuana, cocaine... and of course, the media blamed her and she is serving a 18 month sentence (i think she just got out of prison or is about to be) and will never be able to work in media again due to this unfortunately. we understand lilico to do drugs out of needing an escape, maybe thats how she felt too in work conditions that feel suffocating in always being in the public eye. i cant imagine how playing this role felt for her - she was also a model and actor and i think because she understood how lilico felt she played her role the best anyone ever could. i hope she still has the chance to be in the media as she in my opinion is one of the best actors ive ever seen :') this movie is possibly my favourite one of all time as i feel it so deeply as someone who has transformed myself through learning how to do makeup, losing weight, changing my hair.. in how i look over a short space of time to look like a different person, before i changed myself i loved it and after i still do but the themes resonate with me more.
I think this video helped me to word what I've been fearing about aging for a long long time. I'm a nonbinary person, but I wasn't immune to the way women were treated in media as I grew up. That fear of being obsolete, ugly and seen as 'old' is something that sticks to you, despite it all. Thank you for making the video ❤
This might seem random, but try reading the witches books and more set in the Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Lots of badass older ladies, especially Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax, and so on. They live their lives on their own terms. The book Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett too. Even though you're an enby and not a woman. It's probably still good no matter if you were born AFAB or not.
i began this movie a year ago but never finished it through because i wasnt really aware enough to understand the meaning, thank you for bringing this back to me!
I now have a perspective that absolutely changed the way I see this film and interpersonal of it. As a young girl (and to an extent, still now, but I admit I still feel insecure. Thanks, Mass media...) I never cared for appearing "trendy" or beautiful to a standard of the modern day. I never understood why my mother told me I had to put on acne cream/wash my face so much or I'd "look like her". I always thought she was beautiful. I never saw anything wrong with her. She meant some sun spots and acne scars. However I've learned something else about myself. So fun fact about me- I have a few nerves in one cheek on my face that's disconnected from birth. No medical issues caused by it. But I recently learned that when I was at youngest 6 oldest 12, a doctor who examined my cheek said "well, she'll want botox... But only one side!!!" I WAS A CHILD. Learning about this as a young adult made me reflect a lot on this. Supposedly the doctor that told me this was a top plastic surgeon in my country. I don't remember it well because I was a child, and I was more preoccupied with the books in the waiting rooms at the children's hospital and having the day off school. TLDR about my facial nerves, they got disconnected in my right cheek at birth, and I can't move that side of my face that much. The worst it did was make me self conscious about my smile. It can't be surgically fixed. But I never wanted to fix my face. I couldn't and still can't imagine being able to fully smile. I'm happy with myself. Another thing was online, I saw a video of a 45 year old woman who started her video saying that aging was nothing for young girls to be afraid of... Right before she encouraged getting Botox. It makes me so mad we feel like this and how age is so stigmatized. Thanks for making the video!
(so sorry im writing this comment at 2am so it probably won’t be coherent) this analysis has actually changed my life.. zooming in to the fear of ‘passage of time’, i’ve realised how fearful i am of wasting my youth, alongside irrational thoughts about appearance. it’s painfully disturbing how now, encouraged with new developments in media and technology, there is essentially a system built - for women to become deeply insecure, provoked, and capitalised off of by the leeching of insecurities. i have been an enjoyer of this film for a long time and i think that it’s a brilliant depiction of how objectively women are valued - and how we can never win regardless of our decisions, whether it’s succumbing to beauty standards, valuing youthful appearances, or protesting them. it’s something we can’t physically boycott. i also picked up on the use of tragic structure in a sense, with Lilico beginning with nobility and arbitrary respect in her modelling career. it’s only a matter of time until she falls through to a fatal flaw, hubris, and ultimately her ‘downfall’ during the pipeline of her ‘adorned’ procedures becoming tarnished. i just wanted to outline this as i have been studying tragedy, and i interpreted the movie itself with layers of tragedy to it (while burdening beauty standards are another complex issue which i could ramble about forever)
Hey! I just wanted to mention that the actual term for adult woman comics/anime is “Josei” not “Shojo” as said at 1:05, shojo is for middle school age girls (Which the definition from oxford says lol)
This was a really insightful, beautifully thought-out video essay. I have a painting I did a while ago called "Womanhood" that symbolizes the martyrdom of modern women in the face of our commodification and patriarchy.
This is such a great video!! When I saw you were talking about Helter Skelter I screamed lol. It’s absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time and everything you brought up was so true. It felt cathartic to hear you talk about it especially in these trying times 😭. Watching this video made me want to watch the movie again. Btw I just thought I’d ask because this movie is so hard to find online but where did you end up watching it? I haven’t seen it in ages.
I can’t believe I had never even heard of it until a few months ago! It immediately became one of my new all time favourites. I actually found a version of it uploaded onto UA-cam surprisingly enough.. idk if me revealing this will get it taken down 😬 but search Helter Skelter English sub it should come up lol.
whenever this kind of topics come up i am so relieved that growing up i was never really pushed into any of these views or interested in them, and while i do want to lose some weight it's more to be on the healthier side and more comfortable with myself than to fall into the standards of beauty. i really hope we'll be able to move on from this as a society and let women just be comfortable in their own bodies
This is such a well-put together video, it's so sad how these double standards in gender exist and seem to continue being perpetuated in today's society
This vid just made me realize that I have always had a sinking feeling in the back of my mind of running out of time, like I won't be able to accomplish anything anymore once I get wrinkles. I didn't even realize it was because of this. Removing that immediately from my mindset.
This has been one of my favorite movies ever since it came out. No matter how many times I rewatch it, I never get tired of it and it never feels less relevant than the last time - in fact, maybe it's even more relevant, which is a little scary for all the reasons you laid out. Great video, I really enjoyed hearing this well-considered interpretation! Something I thought you might find interesting since you did a video about her before, but Kyoko Okazaki loved Edie Sedgwick and it's believed that she inspired the beauty and tragedy seen in Lilico's character. The artwork of Lilico at 1:15 uses the poster for her last movie Ciao! Manhattan as a reference. I was really fascinated by the range of media that influenced her in the making of this manga, including the work of Jenny Holzer and David Lynch (mostly Twin Peaks, but she referenced his photography as well) and especially the film Sunset Boulevard.
Oh wow that is super interesting I had no idea that Okazaki was a fan of Edie! It’s funny I actually did think that artwork of Lilico looked like the Ciao! Manhattan cover but I thought it was a coincidence. It makes so much sense though. Thanks for mentioning some of her influences, its so interesting to know! Okazaki seems like such a fascinating woman, I hope to dive more into her work sometime soon.
Maybe those women,who works for media and visual arts can see their values tied to their beauty and Self image. I live in Africa. In our traditional society, still nowadays, aging is seen as gaining respect and being confortable in life. It is linked to having statut, and more power. It is the time, the woman enjoys her perks, having her family and community taking care of hers. While she can coach young sters on life difficulties.
its insane that erika sawajiri is naturally beautiful enough to play someone whose beauty is 100% manufactured🤨 i've noticed her and other japanese idols and actors that are popular for their beauty go through a phase where they make themselves conventionally unattractive and go through a phase of rebellion in order to protect themselves (especially if they're thrown into the spotlight at a young age)
Almost all famous actresses and even actors across the globe have at least a few procedures done😔. The easiest-to-overlook cases get it done before the height of their career. The procedures that are harder to miss happen later to keep themselves in the spotlight. Ex kim’s first BBL and nose job, kpop idols’ eyelid surgerys and nose jobs. Few noses are safe in the entertainment industry.
I am 17, soon to be 18. I allready fear the process of aging and look at pictures myself before puberty, longing to posess that innocent, skinny and cute childlike look (I live in Korea where that is the beauty-standard). I am "still" considered conventionally attractive, yet I fear my "decline" often. From a young age, I was told I was beautiful alot and made that therefore my defining feature, yet constanly being aware that my beauty will fade. Looking back, I wish I was born without a face, neither pretty, ugly or average. I wish that my personal Value dindt rely on my looks.
I haven't finished the video yet, but right off the bat here: Shojo is manga for young girls. Josei is manga for older women, and Helter Skelter, the manga, is a Josei not a Shojo.
Also the "mother of shojo" title, belongs to Moto Hagio. Kyoko Okazaki is the mother of josei, however.
Thank you for the correction! I was a little confused on the difference between these terms, so I appreciate you clarifying. I pinned your comment so people are not misinformed! 💖☺️
@@FinalGirlStudios Truthfully, the difference in the English-speaking anime fandom isn't all that important, the categorization system is there because traditionally manga are published chapter by chapter in magazines (which is then compiled later into volumes) based on the demographic of the reader-base (eg: Shounen magazines are geared towards young boys, Seinen is geared towards adult men, Shojo is geared towards young girls, Josei is geared towards adult women), which doesn't really have an equivalent anywhere but Japan. Everywhere else we just read volume by volume with age ratings instead of in magazines in short chunks with other chapters of different stories in the same demographic.
@@clinicalobsession616 The thing is that it's only depend of the magazine. Everything that is in shonen jumps is shonen, even if it's looks like a shojo. If it's published on a magazine category, then its part of said category. e.g: Black butler is seen by many as a Josei but it's a shonen. Tomie from Junji Ito looks like a seinen, but it's actually a shojo. Life is really graphic manga that contain r/p, it's not a jousei/seinen but a shojo. It's not about the content, it's about where they want the story to be publish and which people they want to touch. If they want to touch young girl with an horror story, they will go with a shojo magazine and it's will be a shojo and etc.
In France we follow the same Japanese category, Shojo, josei, shonen, etc.
But since we don't follow their magazine system, we are more strict into what goes in each category based on the content. Like if there is a lot of violence like AOT or Tokyo Ghoul, it's will go into the Seinen category instead of shonen like in Japan. But most of the time we follow the same genre (e.g: Life is still a shojo in France) and it's depend of each manga editor (who are more than 15 here)
@@narudayo5053 of course, I'm well aware of that. (I'm a classic shojosei junkie, I'm part of a scanslation team, most would say I know way too much about the topic). Tokyo Ghoul is already a Seinen though, it was published in Weekly Young Jump.
@@clinicalobsession616 have you read Plant Dolls (from 1995)? It's tangentially related. Wikipedia copy paste: "観用少女, Kan Yō Shōjo, lit. Ornamental Girls) is a collection of short manga stories by Yumiko Kawahara".
Some of its chapters have kind of been haunting me since I read it.
I think the usage of butterflies throughout the movie is a metaphor for women's beauty. Butterflies, an insect generally considered beautiful, used to be caterpillars, which aren't considered as beautiful. They spend their entire lives waiting to transform into a butterfly. However, their beauty is pretty short-lived, as they die within a couple of weeks.
In Japanese culture butterflies actually symbolise death, as butterflies will feed on corpses. I think it's more likely in the film they are symbolic of (both mental and physical) decay and degradation.
butterflies are also used a lot in ed culture
@@JustSiouxMeWhy not both?
Celebrating the multifaceted nature of femininity-including its strength, sensuality, and complexity-can encourage women to be authentic. Self-confidence and self-love often allow individuals to express themselves more fully and unapologetically. Engaging with both light and dark aspects of oneself can lead to a more holistic understanding of personal identity.
“Young women are discarded as rotten before the are ripe” … truer words and all, that one is gonna stay with me
Those who view themselves as lacking in beauty may avoid seduction and assume they do not have the skills or qualities to connect with others in a deeper way.
Love this quote
Do you know how wild it was for me to turn 20 and look at pictures of myself at age 16-17 and think: “damn it’s all downhill from here.” It’s sickening
When I was 18 and working as a model I was working with a photographer in his 40s who was persistently trying to get me to shoot nude and at one point said “well your body will never look better than it does now, so you might as well”. We are taught these messages, it’s disgusting.
@@FinalGirlStudios I am so so sorry
I have no words, that is heart breaking.
Honestly when I look at pictures of myself at 16 or 17 I think I look much better now that I'm 26. I have curated my personal style that suits me, know my color palette and my skin and haircare game is on top. Plus I just grew into a more ladylike face overall, I still had a bit of a baby face when I was 16 and I'm much more comfortable with my body now. Plus I just matured overall and I love it. And I still think I haven't reached my full potential yet.
Don't you ever believe it'll be downhill from your 20s, it couldn't be further away from the truth. I would never want to go back to my early 20s.
@@FinalGirlStudios That's so gross. Imagine telling girls they're basically starting to loose their value before their prefrontal cortex hasn't even stopped developing yet.
Even though I'm a guy I spend time-consuming women's media such as music, film, and literature. And I noticed that when women's issues such as mental health or just women suffering in general, it always needs to seem beautiful or artistic in some way. It's very rare to see it shown in a genuinely realistic or scary way. It's like they can't express themselves without seeming civil or beautiful.
totally get what you are saying. but society loves to see women suffer emotionally. Amanda bynes, Brittany spears
And it’s def considered scary, embarrassing, made fun of, etc
@@shelbywatson2934riiight when I read that I was like yikes
Its because society likes to "humble" women we arent allowed to fully be ourselves
Yes.
It really will make you psychotic to be obsessed with beauty. There will ALWAYS be people who let you know they find you as not beautiful, no matter how beautiful you truly are.
Not only that, but unless you ARE a celebrity, high paid model, or high paid exotic dancer, your beauty will not contribute to being financially secure - which is the #1 important thing in society. It will not even secure you a partner or husband.
In addition, being “beautiful” can be a hindrance in many ways. Making people hate or envy you. Or causing people to harshly criticize you, expecting beyond stellar and borderline perfect etiquette from a beautiful woman at all times.
I am just a bartender, but the customers are constantly telling me how because I am “young and beautiful” it should be easy to do the job. I explain to them that everyone is different and there are many things that can limit a person’s ability to be perfectly personable, confident, and sociable. They tell me that is an excuse.
Just because a woman is seen as “beautiful” people rarely will extend an ounce of compassion, empathy, or humanity in her direction. And even so, only a small portion of people will even acknowledge you as “beautiful”.
These days, I cannot tell if I am beautiful, or if I am delusional and those people are simply lying to me to be kind.
Either way, I have come to terms that as a Women of Color, beauty doesn’t do much to improve your life experience. Either way, you are hated and must work hard like a damn donkey.
When people see you as attractive, they are more likely to find and loudly point out your flaws. And your flaws as an attractive woman are more reason to have your self esteem and reputation demolished, and be discarded/disregarded as a potential friend or partner than a woman who is seen as normal or below average.
It actually hurts and is quite confusing. Daily of our entire lifetimes we are told to invest in your beauty. You think it is what you are “supposed” to do. But it does result in people not caring about your feelings, thoughts, or opinions, and not treating you like a human.
Always!
why am i watching this as im about to have botox???
Being a ugly girl with no whatsoever desirable features is an experience. Even for ugly men, there is hope. Stories of conventionally unattractive men who get their beautiful dream girlfriend because she saw his worth on the inside. No one makes these stories, songs, etc.. about ugly woman. There is no ugly actresses that are not ridiculed because appearance is all we see for woman.
it’s women’s fault why do you accept ugly men society is horrible towards women but a lot is caused by our own choices as well you can allow yourself to stop caring about looks you can treat men the same way actually you have to treat them this way because women are the selectors and must have to select for the strongest most handsome looking male in his strength and beauty prime (17-26)
@@user-uh6di8bu5m Settle down settle down, its not just men who are attracted to particular traits that women have afterall... and you're not necessarily any better, as there are definitely particular physical traits that all of us as human beings like seeing on another human beings... Anime is especially nutorious for taking advantage of this fact(probably intentionally at times, sometimes not intentionally and more so due to the effect of someone being inspired by particular elements of character design from a character intentionally designed for taking advantage of the aforementioned "things that get humans attracted to them")... although they don't just take advantage of the physical stuff, they also take advantage of the vocals + personality traits(and again, this might not be 100% intentional as it can vary probably, just like whether or not an anime company is ethical like Kyoto animation or a push their workers to the point of near-death like... Madhouse? There are definitely a lot more, but apparently they're out of business now? I think Gainax was guilty of it too, but I also equally think the artists themselves, since they were so sucked into it and passionate, kinda were neglecting themselves aswell - but its apparently a whole heck of a lot more artistically fulfilling than being in Disney or some other western studio)... BUT it is FAR MORE PREFERABLE cause they aren't actually making people go through tons of surgery to pull it off.
Yes this is the full reality of it... a man's value can be what he makes, and a woman's value is pleasing genetics. Beauty, that's not built to last. A man can create his own worth, and yet even a pretty woman is born with half of the worth of a male. An ugly girl faces no pity, no care, the world tells her and shows her no one values her and no one sees her as lovable. So incredibly real.
@@land3021 tf you’re talking about
@@user-uh6di8bu5m Got a bit derailed, but I think the points still stand. To more directly respond to your comment;
It isn't women's fault(it's the people in power aswell as the motivator for why they use their power the way they do, that motivator being HUGE short term gains in profit via owning more capital), and even if society is more racially and sexually inclusive in terms of whose in government, we still got issues. Those issues being;
Intellectual + work + diverse backgrounds inclusivity, that being the inclusion of more people into government, with different backgrounds, different experiences, different fields of work, and different mindsets. That being said, they'd probably not necessarily want to be taken away from their jobs and forced into the government, but... I dunno. It's a big thought I had there.
Also, I believe I already addressed the stuff about judging people by their looks somewhat, and also find it ironic how you said at the end that women should take the place of men on the hierarchy(and be the ones who choose their partners - which, in reality, it can often go either way, but the stereotype is admittedly pretty prevalent, that one being that men are supposed to be the ones who always take the initiative + pay for everything and that women are timid and weak, subservient to the man, in a marriage that is)... I mean, to humour you, women are the ones with long hair like how male lions have that Maine around their neck/face, meanwhile men are like the female lions, who have gone the extra mile and outright just don't have a Maine... But it would seem that some biologically male individuals also have long maines and the outward appearance of a female...
"For all women are trained to continue looking like girls.
I remember getting so many comments from old women in their 40's and 50's from my childhood, my moms friends and teachers, saying how they liked my slim shape and wish they looked like me throughout the years I was 10-13 years old...
its true, my estranged mother is almost 50 and is getting weight loss surgery and plastic surgery to look young and hot again. There are women in their 80s that are still buying into this message its like it truly never ends once you're obsessed with looking good...
Did they also encourage you to appeal to the male gaze and date?
Beauty is a privilege that you only recognize you have when you lose it
It sounds like you're exploring themes related to empowerment, self-acceptance, and embracing one’s inner complexity. Women, like everyone, can benefit from confidence and self-love, finding beauty in authenticity rather than societal standards. The concept of the "dark swan" may symbolize tapping into those deeper, often overlooked aspects of femininity, embracing strength, sensuality, and individuality.
Encouraging women to embrace their full spectrum of emotions and characteristics-both light and dark-can lead to greater self-awareness and empowerment. By celebrating inner strength and sensuality, women can redefine beauty on their own terms. What are your thoughts on how women can activate this aspect of themselves in their daily lives?
This movie reminds me of perfect blue. Both movies are about the horror of being a famous woman, of being perceived and watched by the public. Helter Skelter is an amazing movie. If you’re looking for a less horrific piece of media with feminist themes, I recommend her tale of shim cheong. It’s a retelling of an old Korean tale about a girl sacrificing herself to the dragon king. It also has a gay couple who are the main characters. It’s a beautiful story, I highly recommend it. It’s only around 80 chapters so it’s not that long of a read
oh my god yes!!!!!!! that manhwa is a GEM!!!!!
Thanks for the recommendation
Wow!!! Yes to Tale of Shim Cheong, it made me cry sm 😭
Is that an anime?
@@maverickbull1909 her tale of shim cheong(if thats what you're asking abt) is a webcomic
A scene from Fleabag puts it well, that aging isn't damning, but liberating because you finally learn what's truly important and stop caring for formalities. Kozue's self-awareness has already made her realize the shallowness of the industry, which will allow her to enjoy her career and ultimately struggle less or not at all with the fear of aging, unlike Lillico.
There's solid wisdom in your comment. More should see it!
@@RheaMainz Thank you :)
Liberating also because not everyone gets that privilege. Every wrinkle, every harder step, every ounce of slowed mobility is a sign you're body is still here
@@bunnywavyxx9524lol not all of us want to be here. And for women who only experience success in relation to their looks, they're utterly miserable for the rest of their lives
@@bunnywavyxx9524youre making ignorant assumption that life is always better than death. For people in agony, we want to die.
This is going to be a long comment, but I felt I had to say a few things, as someone who was obsessed with beauty and wanted a rhinoplasty since I was 13, and has had full face plastic surgery by 19, I saw so much of lilico in myself that I found it physically difficult to watch the movie, surgery is not a fairy tale, the constant worrying about your face falling apart, feeling vain or confident when people call you “stunning”, but then a small voice whispers “it’s all fake anyways.” And this deep rooted disgust, not relief, because if you are beautiful, you know people are only there for your looks, and if that goes, what’s left?? Only after I became “pretty” I realized how flat and replaceable I’d become, I took part in my own objectification, 2Dimensioning myself, spending hours on makeup not books. The pursuit of beauty in lilico and my own case was so ugly, full face bandages, full of pain and tears and I was 100% more insecure, surgery can’t fix the root issue, and that real beauty is confidence no matter how you look and knowing value is never based off looks alone, that’s how you actually shine and become irreplaceable. If any girls are reading this, please never get plastic surgery, don’t do what I did, glow and grow on the inside so that people love you for you. I know my comment is probably too long to read but I just relate so deeply to her, and it’s so sad how people were commenting about the actress’s beauty even after she took drugs etc saying how she is such a natural beauty, which literally missed everything the film tried to teach us. I can’t help but foresee so many more lilicos being born in the clinic of gangnam plastic surgery hospitals :(
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I've always wanted to do a lot of cosmetic procedures on my face because I always hated the way I looked, how my face resembles my parents which I hate and are abusive, and because of every mean or bullying comment I've heard about my every feature, and trust me, i heard a lot of them. But deep down I always had that little hope that small voice in the back of my head that tells me not to do it, it will only make things worse. My insecurities are huge and I'm always comparing myself to others, but what if even with surgery is never enough for me ? To feel good and confident. All I ever wanted since a little girl was to be respected and loved, seen by my ability to sing or draw for example, doing something for society. But my father was extremely misogynistic and abusive towards women. My dream was to be an animator, I gave up cause that's a men's job. And when I reached my teens, I went to a foster home where everyone pointed my every flaw and bullied me to the point of doing self harm and gaining an ED. Now I had forgotten my dreams of singing and drawing and only my beauty mattered, now is the make up and the clothes; show some skin to the boys or they won't have nothing to look at, don't be such a prude, what man will wanna marry you if you don't cook for him, you need to be curvy or they won't have nothing to grab, but also don't eat too much or you'll be fat and no guy wants a fat girl by his side, were just some comments I use to hear on a daily basis. And to clarify that ALL of this was said by women, and many other disgusting things. I was only a child trying to survive, at thirteen I didn't know any of this and anything about sex or boys. I just wanted to live my childhood, the sexual abuse I endured as a little girl was enough for me to not wanting to know anything about sex. But to sum it up I think that getting procedures done will only enhance and perpetuate my traumas and the stigma that I have in my mind about my own objectification and beauty standards, is only the outside that matters, cause it influences how the world sees me and treats me. The internalized male gaze in me will only grow bigger. I just hope that I can get better and get through this. I'm 21 now and I'm healing. I hope you are too !
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Thank you❤
rosie, thank you for sharing your story. Beauty comes in more ways than one, just like love. The physical beauty tends to be the most vulnerable to rapid decay and therefore most fascinating. The decay doesn’t have to be caused by aging, but also by boring or - worse - vulgar and unsophisticated personality that kills it fast. I’ve always been attracted to beauty that embodies charm, vivacity and intellect without pretension, although people like that can be quite bewitching and hard to follow. Some people have that inner light that pulls you close till you burn. I want to say that beauty is hard to define and it’s all around us. Stay well!
I just turned 24 last month. I had a damn near mental breakdown the day befor my birthday because I realized that I'm officially in my "mid-twenties." I'm no longer "young." I literally cried in my room and ruminated over my youth disappearing. The day of my birthday, I wasn't even excited. My family took me out for dinner, but I literally couldn't care less for the celebration. It scares me how much that impacted me. I don't know what my mental state will be like next year when I turn 25, or when I turn 28 or 30 or 35, etc. I AM young still but I feel like an old hag already. It's a terrible reality.
This hurt my heart, you’re so young! Honestly, keeping youth for me is keeping the state of mind. I’m going to be 31 in December and I still feel so damn young. I always remind myself in the mirror, “todays the youngest I’ll ever be, so I better make the most of it!” 💖
I could try but would likely fail to put into words just how much I relate to your comment, and it's painful to even stop and reply to this because I'm in the same place just a year older than you, but just know you're not alone.
That's a bit dramatic. That voice in your head that made you sad was the internalized male gaze that's prevalent in society and with which we all grew up. The girl from this channel talked about this in her Malena video. At 30, 35 you would stop caring about what society expects from you and how well your image fits in it. You would just live your life freely without caring about other people's expectations of you.
I feel you dood, I'm turning 27 soon and I feel ancient. Even though I've done a lot of healing and I'm off social media for over a year, the voice is still constant!
Once you pass 25 you stop caring and start feeling old
Can we all just sit back and really absorb how pedophilic women's beauty standards are? It's all about looking young enough to be 15, maybe even younger. Which is honestly disgusting. Even women going hairless reflects this because when else is a woman hairless? In her childhood.
EXACLY
Thats a reach 😂😂😂 and your own subjective perception. Some people just want a younger looking version of themselves in their 20s or 30s.
Plus, where Im from men get cosmetic procedures done just as much as women, so it works both ways as not only women are being objectified amd sexualised (regarding the paedo comments you made)
@@greyLeicester women are mostly tho, like even lesbians and bisexual women are sexualized, like everything we do and wear is literally sexualized
@@greyLeicester a man's input everyone!
@@animefood0818a lot of men's clothes are too though ex: tank tops and thigh high shorts
i think after the second rewatch, it actually becomes clear that hada (seen working for her still and suspiciously not in the police interviews anymore) leaking lilico's pre-plastic surgery pictures was actually instructed by lilico herself, as a way of immortalizing her own impact. there were shots of encased butterflies flashing on the screen, on the event that she stabbed her eye. "so i decide how i destroy myself."
i think in that case lilico is given more agency and (finally ceasing) control (of her story) instead of just "beating her wings the way everyone wants." but i also think the commentary gets sidelined that way and becomes more comical. it turns into how lilico is this mastermind that pulled the strings, smiling underground of the club she owns (decor being references to her and large vanity mirrors like the ones in her home could be seen when following hada downstairs) smiling at kozue, serving as a cautionary tale. because when you look at death in the eye, you'd only see your inevitable fate. she becomes like a boogeyman.. maybe it's saying you can't kill greed.
but.. it makes me prefer the first interpretation which was more raw and philosophical. about capitalism creating a feeling of scarcity in women and the fear of how dispensable they are. lilico was just a woman. product of her own environment. doing anything she can to maintain beauty that is equated with success. a woman in a man's world.
I appreciate this analysis of the ending! I was actually going to ask people to comment what they think the ending means, because I was slightly stuck on what I believed the ending symbolized. I love your interpretation☺️
Great analysis!
Dark femininity aligns closely with the concept of intuition, advocating for a reliance on inner wisdom and instinct. This can lead to empowerment in decision-making, as individuals learn to trust their gut feelings and perceptions, even in challenging circumstances.
This hits home with me so much. I'm a South Korean woman and my mom has pressured me since I was a elementary school kid to lose weight and to get plastic surgery when I was a fully grown adult. My whole life since then I've been struggling with body issues, eating disorders, and how ugly/worthless I found myself as a woman for my entire life. However, I've seen her go through the same issues, my grandma had gifted her double-eyelid surgery when she was a highschooler and eventually one that she told me to get as well. I even remember an instance where she went to a plastic surgery clinic and had me wait in the waiting room while she got her procedure done. I didn't think much of it as a child but seeing how deeply it affected my mom and then what she would tell me as a child, I can't help but feel as if this unrealistic expectation of beauty that women face is one that will traumatize every generation of girls who grow up in every society.
Hugs, I'm so sorry.. it's bad here in the USA too. It's misogynist...
"There's no country for women"
For women, the standard of beauty is always unattainable. Some may feel closer than others, but it’s always out of reach. When I see unedited photos of women like the Kardashians I am reminded of the cruel fact that the women who are upheld as the standard do not even meet that standard in real life. Despite knowing the truth, we are manipulated into spending billions of dollars on skincare, makeup, procedures, supplements- forever in pursuit of the unattainable. Even self care has been co-opted and commodified. It’s exhausting. We can’t have anything positive without it being warped and used against us.
Being content with one’s appearance is a rebellious act.
@@nc5337 I was going to say the exact same thing, the most confidence you can get is from accepting yourself and focusing on the quality of your life instead of your appearance.
I hate being a woman
Dark femininity is often characterized by an embrace of the more complex, can be seen as powerful in various ways. It challenges traditional notions of femininity, which can be confined to lightness, passivity, and nurturing roles. Instead, dark femininity embraces traits often labeled as negative or taboo, such as assertiveness, seduction, independence, and even rage.
This form of femininity can empower individuals to:
1. **Embrace Complexity**: Recognizing and accepting the full spectrum of emotions and traits, including those that are often suppressed or stigmatized.
2. **Challenge Norms**: Questioning and dismantling societal expectations surrounding gender roles, leading to more authentic self-expression.
3. **Empowerment Through Vulnerability**: Acknowledging one's vulnerabilities can create a stronger sense of self and resilience.
4. **Connection to Intuition**: Tapping into one’s inner wisdom and instincts, which can lead to personal empowerment and the ability to navigate complex situations.
5. **Reclaiming Narrative**: Taking ownership of one’s story and experiences, which can lead to greater agency and empowerment.
Overall, dark femininity allows individuals to explore and express the full breadth of their identity, ultimately leading to a more nuanced understanding of power and self.
@@ripwednesdayadams 💯 they want you always pursuing something. To distract from your intrinsic value and from actually fortifying your mind. Denying your present self, romanticizing your past self and dreading and hoping for a better version of yourself in the future, which seems to conflict as they deny women their future or being self actualized. We are trapped in a suspended adolescence.
One look at me and I'm undeniable a masculine male... but this video brought me to tears in the realization that modern societies around the globe are abandoning women and all their ACTUAL worth just because they age. Just because their bodies start a process virtually every living organism must undergo. I'm not seperate from society, so it makes me sad that somewhere in my history I have perpetuated this cycle either knowingly or without a second thought... thank you for sharing your film, and societal, analysis. It is reminding me that love for women should not be bound to beauty and beauty alone. I always knew this deep in my heart but that doesn't mean i actively practiced the philosophy. I will work harder... 😢
🫂 🥹 So used to being laughed at so this comment is like a nice breeze on a warm day!
You are a gem my guy!! God bless you and your amazing heart!! Your future girl is lucky!!🙏
Many men like you have empathy and true love for women. Sadly there are also many women who perpetuate the devaluation of women and they even play a part in the sexualization of young girls. I am a woman and I also listen to struggles that men young and old go through. We all must open to other’s experiences to understand them.
Although I'm a woman and believe that I do actively try not to practice this mindset, I cannot deny that it must've happened, that I also fall into this thinking. After all I am also part of society, and it does have a significant part in shaping our mind schemes. As you finish your paragraph, I will do the same I too will also work harder
thank you, thats so kind of you! there's a movie that touches the "world abandoning old women" subject. its an old film called sunset blvd but it has beautiful dialogue, amazing cinematography, and a wonderful plot.
Just a note: in the bit at 27:35, she actually doesn't say, "Who's the fairest of them all?" She says, "Who's suffering the most of them all?" I think it's a shame that the subtitle is wrong there because it takes that classic fairy tale line and turns it on its head. She may be the fairest of them all, but she is suffering the most because of her need to be the fairest.
I loved this movie so much, but the sad thing is that people just consume it like any other piece of media. They don't learn from it. I saw a vid about this movie on another asian video platform, and people in the comments were just making comments about Erika Sawajiri's appearance, either she was very beautiful or not beautiful. I was just annoyed, I was like bro, you completely missed the point of the movie. But I wasn't surprised. A part of me feels that people do understand what the movie is trying to say, but they don't care either because they have gone through it themselves and they have lost all hope, or they benefit from thriving off young people's, especially womens' insecurities, or they genuinely just don't care at all. It's quite sad, and sometimes I find myself losing hope that one day we will stop judging based on external appearance. Sometimes I feel like people could have a million movements, or make a million movies about this, or wait for thousands of insecure people to harm or k*ll themselves because of their image, yet nothing will change. Usually I don't talk much about feminism, but the sexism towards women's appearances especially in East Asian countries where this movie is set, is just too big to ignore.
ugh, this! I go to the comments section on a video discussing any sort of media centered around women, and so many are about appearance. They don't often care about the film or its message, because their lives are so centered around looks that they can only comment on that. It's honestly depressing.
@@Jaesdaes Vain people
But is East Asia having less children as a result? Are there less marriages, percent wise, than at any time in the 20th century? Are parents disowning children who look less beautiful than their surgically enhanced parents? If no, then it seems most people ignore perfectionist messaging in favor of a “good enough” reality. Those who are going crazy over perfectionist messaging are possibly the same sort of people who would’ve been excessively religious in the far off past.
@@adrianguzman6563 that's the word, thanks!
@@transcripttranslation8801 its not even a far off past, especially with Christians in America.
i don't know whether you're aware of this but selena gomez was actually going to star in an american remake of this movie around 2017/ 2018. it was meant to be directed by petra collins and produced by drake but it got shelved around the same time as her health complications after the organ transplant. i find it really heartbreaking that she is now suffering the same fate as the character she was going to play, with people ridiculing her for her weight gain and thinning hair whilst she fights an autoimmune illness every day
Oh my god, is this what their movie “Spiral” was going to be? The last I heard anything about this was 2021, but I was hoping it was still potentially going to be made!
So true. So truthful, all of it. It is not the girl that matters, but the desire she represents. That's what makes us so discardable. Many women will value themselves for being the beauty ideal, and that fear of replacement suggests something else--that it is the beauty ideal, that values them. The only thing permanent is the value of beauty, not the woman, we are nothing but objects for it. "Women are taught to fear wilting before they have bloomed" no truer words ever spoken.
Beautifully said💖
In essence, dark femininity is about embracing the full tapestry of experiences, emotions, and traits that define one’s identity. It empowers individuals to challenge societal norms, reclaim their narratives, and embrace their complexities, paving the way for a richer and more profound understanding of both personal power and the broader spectrum of femininity. This holistic approach encourages a society that values authenticity and depth over superficiality, ultimately shifting the conversation around gender and identity toward inclusivity and empowerment.
@@PoisonelleMisty4311 There is no such thing as "dark" or "light" femininity because femininity as an experience is too versatile to be defined by two categories.
I used to love the phrase 'age gracefully' as a young 20 something. But that phrase, most often than not, is made as an insult to women who have done/are doing cosmetic procedures to prevent aging (in a world where aging as a woman is frowned upon). Also that phrase only applies to women who fit into society beauty standards as a young women and maintain that look with aging; so if you're not considered conventionally attractive, you won't be considered 'aging gracefully' because you're not 'pleasing' to look at.
My stand on it now is age however you want as long as you're happy. But try not to go broke chasing for the perfection with money you don't have - you're not the celebrities you look up to, you don't have to look exactly like them.
I think it's hard for us women and young girls to stop worrying about aging and we (as women) shouldn't be shaming other women for being obsessed with looking as young as possible, to try to stop aging.
I'm a skincare fanatic and well it took me a while to deprogrammed myself from the obsession of flawless, poreless, smooth wrinkle free perfect skin. Another realisation that hit me recently was that I adore the eye wrinkles and smile lines on men, but I was so worried about wrinkles appearing on my face - like why? Why am I subjecting myself to such paranoia and double standards? I'm, of course, still worried about aging but it's a slow process to let things that are out of my controls be.
Wow you hit the nail on the head
"Ah, 'aging gracefully'-the ultimate juggling act where the spotlight's on societal standards, and the safety net is apparently 'natural beauty.' Maybe we should just flip the script and start celebrating 'aging fabulously' instead? After all, who wouldn't want to rock their personal best while sipping on the elixir of confidence?"
Shoujo is NOT aimed at adult female audiences. Shoujo is more for 10-18 year old girls. Josei is aimed at adult female audiences 18 and above.
😢😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😢😢😊😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮😢😢😢
In a world where gender roles are rigidly defined, dark femininity encourages individuals to question what has been traditionally expected. It embraces qualities that are often vilified in women, such as anger and sexual agency, thereby creating space for a more expansive expression of one’s identity and reducing the stigma associated with these traits.
“The torment in growing older as a woman” …that hit so hard. It’s sad because we are all beautiful and unique in our own ways. Aging should be a happy process but instead we are brainwashed to always look younger. Kind of needed this video. Been feeling really down lately. Thank you for posting this.
"Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's so true that aging can be seen in such a negative light when, in reality, it’s a beautiful journey filled with wisdom and experiences. I’m really glad the video resonated with you. Remember, it’s okay to feel down sometimes, but embracing our uniqueness is powerful. We’re not alone in this-let’s uplift and support each other in celebrating who we are at every age!"
One of my favourite movies of all time! Erika Sawajiri is just phenomenal as Lilico. Also love love love Ninagawa`s "Sakuran" movie, her usage of color is astonishing. Such an eye candy of movies (even though Helter Skelter is hella disturbing lol). Thanks for the essay!
She was truly the perfect casting of Lilico! She has a very captivating beauty where she truly looks like a doll. Had a Tomie film been made around this time I definitely could have seen her playing a perfect Tomie as well!
@@FinalGirlStudios hi she was on drugs when filming this movie, if u follow japanese media, u know what happened.
also in japan awhile ago there was a man who exposed the whole actors and actresses industry in japan, and he confirms it
Have you read the Josei manga "In Clothes Called Fat" by Moyocco Anno? It's the same author who wrote the story of Sakuran. I highly recommend it if you are a fan!
Even though I have insecurities about how I look now, I hold no desire to look young when I’m older. All of the older women in my life taught me that aging gracefully comes from taking care of yourself and not chasing youth. Tomorrow will always come.
Love this!😊
"Absolutely! Why chase youth when you can embrace the wisdom that comes with age? Plus, I hear wrinkles are just laughter lines in disguise! So, bring on the years-I’ll be the ageless wonder laughing my way through life, one laugh line at a time!"
My body and face dysmorphia started when I was 11. I started going through puberty and my skin and body changed and everyone noticed me and judged how bad my acne was. That’s when I realized everybody is judging me at all times. Everyone can see my flaws. People don’t see me they see everything wrong with me. I can’t imagine someone loving me without including looks. I feel disgusting inside and out. I feel rotten at 19. If I can’t be pretty what can I be? What even am I ? I took down and covered my mirrors the other day. I can’t stand to look at myself because all I see is flaws and I feel less of a woman.
The comodification of women's bodies is something so terrifying, the movie depicts the experience of living under a system with such practices very well, it's a disorienting, lonely, dreadful and violent expirience.
"Absolutely, it’s like buying a ticket to a horror movie you never signed up for-one where the plot twists just keep getting darker. At least in the theater, you can leave when it gets too intense, but this is real life! Maybe we need to start handing out popcorn and therapy bills instead."
It's not just capitalism and consumerism. It's also about patriarchy. The female body is sexualized from the moment the Young Girl crosses over from childhood into adolescence. (Sometimes even before that). Society has always had an obsession... but just with beauty - but also with purity and virginity. And it doesn't escape my notice that many socially accepted "beauty standards" for women hyper focus on attributes women only have when they are either a child or an adolescent.
Beauty Standards has never accounted for the way a woman's body changes with time - not even small, imperceptible ways. We always struggling to look like we did when we were experiencing our first moments of sexual discovery - a time when the most women are generally inexperienced and psychologically vulnerable. There is an unacknowledged, *_predatory_* component to female beauty standards that is worth looking into.
"Ah, the perfect recipe for societal dysfunction: mix a dash of capitalism, a generous splash of patriarchy, and sprinkle in some unrealistic beauty standards. It's like a toxic cocktail that leaves us all hungover on self-doubt. I mean, who knew that growing up would come with a side of predatory gaze? Maybe we should add 'embracing imperfection' to the beauty standards list-it's the only thing that seems to age well!"
This was beautiful yet haunting to watch. Thank you for creating this video essay. It finally gave me the push to confront insecurities that were growing from the very same concepts that were discussed and also to delete TikTok.
I’m glad you enjoyed it! I fr had to delete all my social media last year for the same reason.
"Oh wow, confronting insecurities and deleting TikTok? What a groundbreaking transformation! I'm sure the world has never seen anything quite like it. You're basically a hero now!"
This makes me cry, I just wanna be loved for the person I am and not the person I have to pretend to be. I don't wanna wear make up, I don't wanna dress pretty, I don't wanna starve myself to be skinny, I don't wanna get plastic surgery to fix my nose but I feel worthless when I don't fit these molds. I always feel like my boyfriend wouldn't love me if I'm not pretty or girly girl because why should he? I always feel like I have to compete with other girls my age because beauty is all a women is valued for, I miss being a kid where I could be a nerdy tomboy and no one would judge me. I don't always wanna feel insecure and less than of a girl cus I'm not competing with other women, I just wanna be happy. I wish we would judge people more on their content of character than their appearance.
Live your truth.
Do you think that you have a very good character? Do you have achievements that are not related to appearance for which you could be appreciated? Actually I doubt it. Because people who can be valued for their achievements and character usually do not face the fact that they are valued only for their appearance.
@@topmorphy4737 achievements do not induce physical attraction, which is an important aspect for a healthy relationship
"Oh, absolutely! Because clearly, the world is just waiting for you to show up bare-faced and in sweatpants for everyone to start applauding your bravery. Who needs love and acceptance when you can just fight the good fight against societal norms while wearing your pajamas? Such a revolutionary concept!"
Honestly when I watched that movie I really felt bad for Lilico, to me she's such a tragic character.
Nobody in her life considers her a person, she's just seen as an investment, or as gratification for sexual desire, or she's put on a pedestal which leads to people always discarding her feelings (I genuinely felt bad at the scene where she's crying on the rooftop).
Nobody loved her and she knew that once she lost her beauty, she would lose everyone, because nobody saw anything past that anyway.
"Oh, absolutely! Because nothing screams ‘tragic character’ like being the center of everyone’s attention and having everyone else’s problems revolve around you. I mean, who wouldn’t want that kind of ‘investment’? Clearly, she’s the real victim here!"
@@PoisonelleMisty4311 I hope you're joking right now.
This movie really resonates with me.
When I turned 18, I had this feeling that I was a bit afraid to stop looking like a “girl.” I was scared to look like an adult, a real woman. Even my co worker had told me to wear red lipstick and a dress because that was more appropriate for my age.
I was terrified afterwards. Like my face was going to slip away at any moment. I am certainly not pretty, in fact I’m rather homely, but over the past year at 19, I’ve been trying to work on myself. I’ve always wanted plastic surgery since I was young. The only reason I haven’t gotten any is simply because I don’t have the money, or the time.
But I have begun to tell myself, what is wrong with looking like a woman, and not a girl? I don’t want to fear getting older. I don’t want to be like Lilico.
I'm turning 30 in a year, I also always wanted plastic surgery, I remember thinking about it when I was 8 years old already. I still haven't gotten anything done and the older I get the more glad I am that I didn't. Being in your 20s is hard, dealing with not being a teenager anymore and growing into a woman. For me it helped to stop following beauty influencers or just pretty girls on the internet, we compare ourselves if we want it or not. Beauty filters are damaging as well. Stopping all that made me more comfortable with how I look in the mirror, I can now appreciate the face I have. It's what was handed down to you by your ancestors and is making you unique. I hope you can also learn to love yourself how you are worth to be loved. We are all beautiful in our own unique way. Hang in there
"Oh wow, what a profound revelation! So you’re telling me that looking like a woman might actually be okay? Groundbreaking! And here I thought all those beauty standards were set in stone. Good for you on the whole ‘self-discovery’ journey - maybe one day you'll write a bestseller about it!"
I remember, back in school, we were discussing plastic surgery in ethics class. There was a lot of different takes, mostly against it.
One girl then raised her hand and came out about having her ears operated on as a child, it was so she wouldn't get bullied for having large ears. Noone knew before that.
Even then I thought it was very brave of her to tell us that.. and I believe the responses of the other students were a lot kinder after that.
So that's something that I'm glad happened
It's truly moving how that moment left an impact on you. It’s a powerful reminder of how vulnerable sharing our personal stories can be, and how it can foster understanding and compassion in others. That girl’s bravery not only highlighted the struggles individuals face with societal pressures but also opened up a space for empathy among your classmates. It’s heartwarming to hear that it shifted the atmosphere to one of kindness. Moments like these show just how important it is to create environments where people feel safe to share their experiences. Thank you for sharing this; it’s a beautiful example of how we can support one another and promote acceptance.
My sister used to be a model but she was struggling with gigs because she advocates for strength, health, and fitness. She is tall and has more muscle than what is to be expected for a model on the runway so she is never going to be booked for something that expects thin and lithe people to be the perfect coats hangers of the clothes. She has grown to move into film and martial arts. I constantly sees her struggles but also shake my head that the beauty industry and fashion industry perpetuates and encourages toxic ideals for money.
Your sister is a champ. It’s a shame fashion industry is so pigeonholed. I hope she can find roles that fully welcome her, I want to be more fit too.
"Sounds like your sister is too busy being an actual superhero to fit into the mold of a runway coat hanger! I mean, who needs to be 'thin and lithe' when you can kick butt in martial arts and break stereotypes in film? Maybe one day the fashion industry will catch up and realize that strength is the new ‘it’ factor. Until then, she’s just a trendsetter, not a runway model!"
Love this video, I just have one thing to add:
In Japan the need and desire to be young is even more intense and toxic than in western culture. You can see this from anime or any j-dramas. In Sailor Moon, Usagi is only 14 years old when the show starts, in Card Captor Sakura the protagonist (Sakura) is only 9.
In Japan being 30 is considered very old, too late to change, too late to start anything new. And of course, if you are not married you will be looked down upon. 30 is a deadline.
To add on, the idol industry only debuts girls from 12 to 20, before they even reach mental maturity whereas guys can debut from 17 and above. And male idols have the option to keep going and there are many older adult male idols whereas most woman are expected to graduated by
I will say for Sailor Moon and CCS, those are meant to be targeted towards kids of the age group. That being said, the waifness of the main characters in the manga and Crystal for Sailor Moon was incredibly uncomfortable.
I agree about the desire being even more intense, but I don't think Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura are great examples of it, because they're literally magical stories for young girls to feel powerful in their uncertain and maybe somehow strange teenage years, written by women too. Although it's quite interesting how all this "magical girl" concept eventually attracted attention of a lot of male fans for... different reasons, resulting in appearance of stories where magical girls aren't the symbol of a teenager who is on her adventure of discovering herself, but more of an image of just "a young cute girl".
Oh, absolutely! And let's not forget that the ultimate beauty secret is obviously an ancient ritual of drinking blood. Who needs skincare when you can just tap into the timeless practices of yore? I'm sure a little "vampire chic" will have everyone looking eternally youthful in no time!
i see erika sawajiri everywhere on pinterest, and this movie caught my eye for the immaculate aesthetics. After watching the trailer, and not finding the movie anywhere, I decided to just watch deep dives on youtube about it - so your timing is on point xx thank you!
Synchronicity! That’s how I found the movie too was seeing stills on Pinterest lol. (Also I watched the movie in UA-cam 👀)
@@FinalGirlStudios thank you xxx
The sad thing is the actress that plays Liliko (Erika Sawajiri) herself has had a turbulent career as an idol, model, actress and singer and i wonder if the movie is a dark mirror on her own experiences in the industry.
And how dare we expect kindness to be reciprocated? That’s just setting ourselves up for disappointment and, apparently, social anarchy! 🙃 #SelfSabotage #KindnessIsKey
I'm a guy and as strange as it sounds i really identify with this pursuit of beauty, maybe because my gender identity, sexuality and perception is different from most men, but i have always modeled myself and my looks after women's beauty standards. Its bad enough as it is, having full breakdowns over my looks and how other people perceive me and how i perceive myself, so I can't imagine having been born a girl and having these beauty standards pushed on me even more by the people around me. I really feel for you guys, your all so strong
I don’t think it’s strange at all! The book I quote multiple times in this video titled “Theory of the Young-Girl” by Tiqqun actually begins by stating that the “Young-Girl” is a genderless concept. It’s one of my all time favourite books, I would definitely recommend it, especially if this video resonated with u ☺️
@@FinalGirlStudios thank you!
"Oh wow, it must be so tough being a guy who cares about beauty standards-such a unique struggle! I mean, we girls just have it so easy, right? Thanks for your heartfelt empathy; I’m sure it really lights up our day knowing we have your support as we navigate these 'pushed-on' standards! You're really breaking new ground here!"
@@PoisonelleMisty4311tf are u talking about ? In the gay community the standards are rough too, this cant be compared and he didn’t compare his struggles to anyone. You’re rude and ignorant
Amazing video essay, I will be haunted for the next few days with the idea that men get to "celebrate" being boys and later men, contrary to what happens when we go from young girls to women. Definitely subscribing and can't wait to watch more of your videos!
Thank you so much for your kind words! It's great to hear that the video resonated with you. The differences in how society views the transition from girlhood to womanhood versus boyhood to manhood is a powerful topic, and it’s important to explore those narratives. I’m glad you found it thought-provoking! I’m excited to share more content with you that delves into these important themes. Stay tuned for more videos, and thanks for subscribing!
This is one of my favourite films (obviously from my username), and the manga is very disturbing too but Mika Ninagawa has a knack for adapting mangas that have great potential although you'd never figure out how to adapt into a film and turn them entirely into her own. Correction: you referred to shojo as targeted towards adult female audiences, shojo is actually targeted towards young female audiences, particularly teens, pre-teens, children and young adult women. Classic shojo titles include Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Boys over Flowers etc. and often deal with young love, magical girls etc. Kyoko's work and themes dealing with urban women and their inner lives actually puts her in the genre josei, which is targeted towards adult women.
Nice to see this film covered. When I watched The Neon Demon, I thought that Helter Skelter was a much more successful version exploring the same themes and same horror surrealist tone. I'm not sure how people will see it, but Mika Ninagawa is a very celebrated fashion photographer so it could be considered ironic she made such a chilling film of the industry she truly loves. Perhaps it's because she truly loves fashion and photography and the beautiful women she photographs that she understands it more than anyone. She has said before she is fascinated by her own love of contradictions, and of artificially created things, especially due to her family's connection to theatre (recurring themes in her work include goldfish (as goldfish were created and bred for captivity), artificial flowers, and intensely saturated, surrealist fashion photography and environments).
Thank you for the clarification! You're absolutely right about the distinctions between shojo and josei. Shojo does indeed cater mainly to younger female audiences, often focusing on themes of young love and the adventures of teenage characters, while josei looks at more complex issues relevant to adult women, tackling topics like relationships, career struggles, and personal growth.
Mika Ninagawa's adaptations of manga often bring her unique vision to the screen, transforming stories in ways that resonate emotionally and visually, even when they are challenging or disturbing. Her ability to capture the essence of the original work while infusing it with her artistic style is commendable. It's always interesting to see how directors interpret source material in ways that reflect their own creative identities.
The scariest part is that we view beauty as something that testify health, also we shame women whatever they chose to do when they can't control our perception of them. We never like women for them by for the way we perceive them. We objectify them. I think the reason we have through centuries failed to acknowledge mental health is because as a society we are the ones that perpetuate abuse, creating a hierarchy and a fear of being less liked because someone else is also liked. Basically we believe that our value ( what even is that?) is lessened when someone else's value increases. Thus leading us not to feel empathy and having trust issues/ paranoid tendencies. And that is cruelty... I'm not excusing anyone wether you didn't have bad intentions or you have excuses (ex: mental disorders) if you kill someone there's no way back, it's all the same. There's a saying that goes "treat others the way you want to be treated" I believe people interpret it wrong, If you treat some people well other people are not going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Believing that is self sabotage, the way you treat people tells about the way you treat yourself. Other people are not responsible for your trust issues, mental illnesses or paranoid tendencies, in fact even if they wanted they couldn't help you. If you want help seek for support from professionals because we all need at one point some help to get through it. Self sabotage is never good, and hurting people even if you think they deserve it is none of your concern. Don't give up, it's frightening to know that wether people like you or not it doesn't define you, it's confusing because it means that even if there are some people who like you it doesn't mean you are a good person and vice-versa, it's then complicated to define yourself the one you knew through others. But believe in yourself
Oh wow, what a revelation! Who knew that our warped perceptions could lead to such terrible self-esteem? And here I was, blissfully unaware that my worth was determined by the number of likes on my last Instagram post. 🤦♀ #DeepThoughts #SocialMediaPsychology
i love your videos! the normalization of plastic surgery is truly horrifying. i just recently had a daughter and the amount of fear i have as she grows up and sees how hard it is to be a woman keeps me up at night. its important we tell our little girls in society affirmations that are not just centered around beauty. had a guy come up to my babies dad and say shes gonna be a real looker when shes older. made my stomach turn. an 8 month old baby already judged on how beautiful shes going to 'turn out'. im only 21 so im still trying to work on my own reprogamming of beauty standards and ecspecially now so i can set an example. its important all us women set good examples and not put beauty on such a high pedestals for the future of young girls. as best we can
It's wonderful that you're reflecting on these important issues and striving to set a positive example for your daughter. The normalization of beauty standards and plastic surgery can indeed create unrealistic expectations, especially for young girls. By focusing on affirmations that emphasize qualities like intelligence, kindness, creativity, and resilience, we can help shift the narrative away from superficial appearances.
It's also crucial to foster an environment where self-worth is not tied to looks. Encouraging open discussions about media representations of beauty and the importance of inner qualities can empower young girls to appreciate themselves fully. Moreover, actively challenging comments that reduce a child’s worth to their appearance-like the one you encountered-can help create a culture that values individuality and character over conventional beauty.
As you continue to work on your own perception of beauty, remember that your journey is a powerful example for your daughter. Your awareness and dedication to promoting a healthier dialogue around beauty and self-worth will certainly have a lasting impact on her life. Supporting each other as women in this endeavor is vital-together, we can make a difference!
I never have watched the film but I read the manga online when I was 15 when I was addicted to the Josei genre(The work is Josei not Shoujo). It was reading the manga at that time that I realized that media hates women aging. I never noticed that because the older women I was surrounded with throughout my life celebrated their aging and the men in my life accepted and honoured it. The women in my life told me that I shouldn't fear growing old and I appreciate it and told me there is beauty in growing old, your wrinkles, and your gray hair. They told me that I should focus on being kind person and just taking good care of myself. These women told me that an old face and a good personality holds a beautiful warmth that lives eternally in the hearts of their loved ones and others. I guesss that's why growing up as a Woman I was never bothered by aging it's because the men and women I was surrounded with taught me that it's beautiful to grow old just as how beautiful it is to live life. I'm also raised in a Catholic household and a family-oriented setting so I think that could be one of the contributing factors.
I recently read an article by Elise Hu about Korea's cosmetic procedure industry that added a whole other layer to this video for me. Korea has lots of advanced cosmetic treatments/procedures that aren't found anywhere else, and are also intentionally made to be more affordable than similar procedures in other locations. Lots of people travel to Korea specifically for these procedures and the cosmetics industry there is a big part of their economy and is very well funded by the government. Which is so dark and frightening when you stop to think about it, at least to me. I rly recommend this article btw, it's called "How Selling a Nation Means Selling Fixes to Your Body", it's a fairly quick read but such an important topic
I’m gonna look the article up now, thank you for the recommendation!
Elise Hu's article sounds like a fascinating and thought-provoking read, especially considering the intersection of culture, beauty standards, and economic factors in South Korea's cosmetic procedure industry. The idea that an entire economy can thrive on cosmetic enhancements not only reflects societal values about beauty but also raises ethical questions about body image and self-acceptance.
The affordability and advanced nature of these procedures likely contribute to the phenomenon of "medical tourism," where individuals travel specifically to get surgeries or treatments that may be less accessible or more expensive in their home countries. This trend speaks volumes about the global influence of South Korean beauty ideals and the lengths people are willing to go to meet these standards.
Moreover, it’s important to consider the implications of this industry on mental health and self-esteem, as the pressure to conform to specific beauty ideals can be overwhelming. The fact that the government supports this sector hints at a complex relationship between national identity and physical appearance.
It sounds like the article provides a nuanced perspective on how these dynamics play out in South Korea, and it's certainly a topic worth exploring further. Thank you for the recommendation!
It's very interesting how the universe works. I have been obsessing over my appearance for the past 5 months. I kept telling myself that if I changed X or Y, Z thing on my body, that I'll finally feel good about myself. I told myself that maybe if my hair looked better, it would change my entire face shape and thus I would finally be pretty, so as a consequence, people would treat me better.
I've been letting my physical appearance define my worth as a person. I've been caring so much about what other people of me. I thought I got out of my people pleasing phase, but apparently it has came back and it only has gotten worst. And seing that video was a very good reminder that beauty is not eternal, so I should not waste my young years obsessing over what I look like and what people think of me. Because really, like the character in that movie said "we're all disposable". In conclusion, I rather die knowing that I did everything that I could to be happy, then dying and realizing that I've waisted so much time over things that didn't really matter in the end.
Cannot wait for you to do The Substance!!!
New subscriber thank you for this video essay!
This got me thinking back to my teenage years when I was deeply enveloped in the law of attraction (manifestation) & subliminal communities. I was one of many teenage girls (some even younger) who were absolutely obsessed with manifesting more and more beauty with varying degrees of aesthetic sometimes based off real people, entirely fictitious people, or even more impossible standards based off CGI.
Looking back I would dissociate and self-abandon frequently due to poor coping mechanisms. Speaking among other skeptics I realized a lot of them we’re experiencing a lot of depersonalization/ derealization as well.
It’s almost as if they were encouraging it since we were expected to perform daily obsessive mental rituals (thought & emotion stopping techniques) to make sure we didn’t have any thought, emotion or behavior that would accidentally affirm the reality of our past, undesirable selves but were then blamed for remaining “undesirable” when doing as instructed ultimately failed in turn triggering more episodes of dissociation and self-abandonment. It was a known, unspoken secret that a lot of members of the community considered it to be their last resort to stop them from committing su*c*de. We were a community who had a self-pleasing, gluttonous, and voyeuristic obsession that rendered all beautiful things as aesthetic objects to collect not realizing we were doing to others exactly what they’d done to us. There is no amount of high vibrating spiritual wooo to cover that BS glad I left and have deconstructed from that belief system.
My heart is so sore for so many women and girls that have to go through society discovering that our beauty is actually our biggest commodity. Will there ever be a day when we stop talking about it and actually do something to change society? I pray for that day.
Im tired of trying to be beautiful and perfect. It’s just impossible, yet I have been trying to achieve it ever since I can remember. It makes me hate myself
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed when trying to meet the often unrealistic standards of beauty and perfection that society promotes. Remember that beauty comes in many forms, and what truly matters is how you feel about yourself. It's important to focus on self-acceptance and recognizing your unique qualities.
Consider taking a step back to reflect on what you value about yourself beyond physical appearance. This might involve journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or even seeking professional support. Surrounding yourself with positive influences and engaging in activities that make you feel good can also help shift your perspective.
You are not alone in these feelings, and it's okay to ask for help. Celebrate small steps towards self-compassion and remember that you are worthy just as you are.
I'm not sure if someone has commented this, but if you are a fan of this movie/manga, I highly recommend the Josei manga "In Clothes Called Fat" by Moyocco Anno (also note, she is Hideki Anno's wife, the creator of Evangelion). Without giving too much away, it touches on a lot of themes of being a woman in society being constantly scrutinized for their appearance and the obsession of ones appearance. In this instance however, it's from the perspective of a woman who is in the opposite position where she is being ridiculed. It's another dark one if you're into that, but @Final Girl Studios, I would love to hear your thoughts!
when I was 11 or 12, I heard an ad on the radio for "the gummy bear procedure". it was described as a breast augmentation surgery that would make your breasts bigger and you could go to work the same day from the noninvasive procedure. I went all of middle school and high school convinced that when I turned 18 I would get this surgery. I'm happy to be 21 now and realize just how much garbage was being shoved down my throat every day rom the media telling me exactly how I had to look and exactly how to become that. I wish I could've seen this movie when I was younger to realize just how inescapable women's beauty standards are/were and put my energy into loving myself instead of that crap. Thank you for an amazing video!
Apologies for the random little silent section at 16:35! The clip contained copyrighted music and so it was muted. Luckily the clip had subtitles, so you can still understand the context of what is being said.
CORRECTIONS:
I have read the manga. She's a Josei (female young adult) author, not for young girls. The manga has sex (not explicit) and mental illness.
The pinned comment literally says this lmao
@@FinalGirlStudios anyway, thanks to this video I got to see the movie. I loved the visuals.
Finally someone explores Helter Skelter! It reminds me of so many kpop scenarios, especially the ‘there will always be someone younger or prettier’ line.
This was a nice video essay & now I need to check out Helter Skelter. Although I’m not a fan of the KarJenners there’s a valid point being made about Kylie’s surgery versus that of her sisters. However I think some of the added vitriol stems from Kylie’s appropriation on her rise to her current status. Maybe this analysis can be extended to Latin & Non Hispanic Black women because beauty standards are especially taxing for the latter
Agreed 100%! I’m not a fan of Kardashians or the Jenner sisters either and the very valid criticisms on the KarJenner’s appropriation of Black features are not what I was referring to, but rather the blanket statements of calling her before photos ugly. I think there is a lot of room for criticisms surrounding plastic surgery especially when Black (and BIPOC in general) features are being fetishized and made into “trends”.
I had to replay that statement several times... "young women are discarded as rotten before they are ripe"
That's powerful and so true. Wow.
The whole video reminded me of a situation I had when I was 14. I was in the train with two classmates on my way home. One of them told me just out of the blue: "You should get a nose job!" I was absolutely baffled and didn't even know how to react. Needless to say that I felt absolutely insecure about different parts of my body (I'm also an afab trans person) and at that moment my nose was added to the list.
I'm watching your videos back to back, today. They're heart-breaking but absolutely well done!
i don’t know how but this particular video essay almost wiped out all my insecurities about my body and face. you just organized the information in such progressive and responsive way that it touched my heart. thank you for your amazing work
I feel like because I never was conventionally beautiful I was able to bypass this obsession. It brought me a lot of grief while I was younger but I think it also kept me sane.
"if i stop being popular ,they will leave me"this kindof break my heart...because i myself feels like that.....i had suffered with severe acne...and my gosh once i went away people will approach me ,befriend me💔everyday is a struggle because am scared if it will come bac...even one single affects me so much...watching this video made me realise that its not worth it..i should accept myself..if i want to change i do it for myself ❤
I’m a huge josei nerd I can’t believe I’ve never heard of the mangaka who wrote the manga. Can’t wait to dive into her work.
I really love her art style! I haven’t read any of Okazaki’s work but she seems like a brilliant mind.
I absolutely ADORE this movie. However the similar parallels between Lilico and Erika make me feel melancholic whenever I watch it. A cruel industry that chews you up and spits you out if you make one mistake or are no longer considered "profitable".
This hurts a lot, it hurts so much that sometimes it is kinda hard to breathe or see through the pain. I'm free of that nowadays, but I remember to look at myself and the mirror and it was natural to think "why do you look disgusting like this?", and it hurts to know that I treat myself like that.
Sometimes when I'm in a social environment with other women I hear things like "I need to do this procedure and that one and this one" as natural as saying that you're gonna put butter in a piece of bread. "I need to stop eating" as natural as the Sun goes up and down. But it's no end, they’re not gonna point at themselves, they're gonna point at you too, like it's normal to talk about the body of others as their own…
I think the quote used in the video was very concise: “they don't love themselves, they love their “self image”. Thank you for this video! s2
Your video essay was profound. I could never describe the visceral horror of girlhood and the ever looming doom of just existing in girlhood and womanhood. I love the movie helter skelter and your essay explained so much that went over my head in my first viewing.
I’ve been saying this for years and often get told otherwise to the point I was starting to question my own opinion(these few year or two) Your video REALLY MEANS A LOT to me and the comment section. You guys seriously made me tear up with joy. I’m not as lonely as I feared. Thank you, truly.
What's amazing to me is that whether or not we persue beauty as a woman we are still a slave to it. I have always been conventionally attractive. Not in a way that is too much above average but enough to attract attention. This combined with my unique heritage gives me a unique look that stands out. I grew up in a small town with little money and in a family that looked down on people who choose to put too much effort into appearances. When i left my small town for many years i had people comment to me that my hair looked bad or why didn't i care more about my appearance? Why didn't I ever wear makeup? I began to see that it is almost taken as an insult to not try. Other less attractive individuals weren't hounded like this though, almost as if they get a pass because it wouldn't make a difference for them. I got called a hippie in a insulting way many times or people would just dismiss me in conversation and disrespect me. One day I decided to change, to try. Not for them, but for myself. I knew nothing so i truly had to start from scratch, learning about hair and makeup, and how to dress. If people were going to constantly comment on my appearance and treat me differently based on that, I was at least going to do what I could to present myself the way I wanted to be seen. The difference in my life after that was dramatic. People fall over themselves to help me just because of the way I look. It has given me a sense of empowerment, but underneath of that I don't identify with it, i very much try not to.
I've had a similar experience, I grew up as the "ugly" girl or at least that's how I'd perceived it. I have very thick curly hair and I didn't know how to take care of it let alone style it, I also didn't have access to nice clothes and would wear a baggy hoodie for most of my high school years. Eventually as I got older I learned how to dress "proper" and to style my hair and it really is a night and day difference to how people treat you. A lot of the time I wish people weren't distracted by the way I looked and could perceive my actual personality, skills and talent. And if they do notice my inner qualities or support my pursuits I can't help but doubt their honesty because I don't know if they actually see me for "me" or are they being influenced by my looks to help me.
We can’t win. It doesn’t matter if natural beauty or not. So why keep trying to win? I see it now like this : I have nothing to lose cause I lose anyways. So I just breath and live in the moment. I’m so tired of this world. Don’t go through all that pain stay natural and live the best way you can alone or in company, loved , ignored or hated. We must stop trying so hard to control what we can’t , when we try to control we inforce the problem when we let go it adjusts it self, the problem fades. (Only talking about those we can’t control) it’s like when we overthink , when it gets to the point it’s too much, at the peak it becomes nothing. Same thing as pain when it’s at its peak you tend to feel the opposite soon after you released the pain , or fear when you stop feeding it , it suddenly becomes smaller till it’s gone. I hope it made sense .
I loved this movie since I saw it in highschool and I didn’t even know why. I just related to her anguish, self hate and obsession with looks deeply. I also think it’s interesting that Kiko Mizuhara is in this movie, as she has basically been the Liliko of Japan, at least from an international perspective, in the sense that she’s been the number one model in the country since I was in highschool. I wonder what her views are on the topic.
Being in my 30s has been so difficult accepting my new reality. I needed this reminder of this movie that it doesn’t matter
Is it normal that I got too emotional and disturbed that I cried a little by the end of the video? Excellent video essay. I have watched the movie before but had completely forgotten about it
Edit: subbed 💚
I'm actually glad I watched this movie during my teen years. It exposes me to this extreme obsession with beauty. I can't say that I'm perfectly fine with myself but this is like a reminder for me every time.
DYSTOPIAN is absolutely the correct descriptor...of human society. The Screams at 19:00 accurately express how I feel about this sickness of these paradigms.
Brilliant Analysis and a Movie/Manga that I should watch/read. Thanks!
Not to be that Pisces painting at 5am but the part where you show the plastic surgery montage to a girl screaming made me cry it’s just so exhausting being constantly seen and scrutinized and feeling like I’m running out of time but honestly I’m feeling better about myself at 25 then I ever have and will only continue to get hotter and more aware of myself and the world and we got this y’all 💝😭
I'm glad someone is talking about Helter Skelter this recently, as I love the movie a lot yet its underrated. Thank you for the video.
As a man, I watched this till the end because I want to gain a better understanding of what women has to go through their life. I totally agree with a lot of points made in this video especially the part about men not getting as afraid of aging as women. I personally think it also has something to do with the different fertility rate of men and women as they age.
Social media has affected us in a lot of negative ways as much as it helped us and no one is immune to it. There was a time in my life where I feel very insecure about a lot of things. Balding, not having straight teeth, not having a lot of money, and so on. This is one of the main reasons why I stopped mindlessly browsing through my social media accounts to get a constant hit of dopamine. But just like with everything in life, I learned to move on and decided to focus on the things that I can control. I now only used my social media accounts for learning, communication and business purposes.
Being generally attractive is just one small aspect of life and I know that even if I don't have it, I still have way too many things to be thankful for.
male fertility, and sperm quality degrades with age too.
As a 24 year old woman, I don't care about the future fading of my attractiveness since I believe I was designed by God himself for a purpose. Not only women but also men are just flesh. We came from dust and to dust we shall return!! And there's beauty in that.. knowing that life is but a vapor.
We obsess too much over one fleeting kind of beauty--that is, youthful beauty--when there is a different kind of beauty in each stage of life. If you take care of yourself, you can still be beautiful in old age, just in a different way. We need to open up to all kinds of beauty and stop obsessing over the shortest-lived and least significant kinds.
Something I noticed in the film is how they represent the operation table. It looks as though she's strapped down with what is essentially kink gear. Not sure what the metaphor of that is, but there very obviously is one. For context a traditional plastic surgery operation table has two long straps: one that goes across the lower abdomen and wrists, and another that goes over the ankles.
I thought the same thing. The way I interpreted it: Her being shackled to the operating-table in that way shows her as being a slave to the beauty industry. She has to endure pain and repeated treatments in order to keep up her appearance. Thus a bondage-reference is quite fitting, plus the element of masochism. The woman who goes through repeated suffering in her pursuit to become beautiful, nothing more than a tortured, bound slave. It can also be a reference to the restraints mental-patients have to be bound with in extreme cases, again alluding to her decreasing sanity. Brutal imagery, but I think this movie does it in a masterful way in order to tell the story.
I have read the manga but didn't know there was a movie. Absolutely great video, deserves way more views.
Oh wow that’s awesome! Did you enjoy the manga? It seems as though Mika Ninagawa remained pretty loyal to the source material, and her background as a photographer made the film sooo visually beautiful. If you enjoyed the manga I’m sure you’ll enjoy the film! And thank you for your kind words ☺️
Hello ! Just watched substance and feel as if they took some inspo from this specific movie . (As well as several other movies )Love your take on this .
Oh god, i'm not the only one who thought about it too!!
You are definitely one of my favorite UA-camrs at this point. Love how deep you go with the information and how beautiful you explain everything. We are so blessed with your content girl
Thank you so much, that means so much to me! You are so sweet 😭💖
@@FinalGirlStudios 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
I still love Erika Sawajiri. She's perfect for the role. Sad what had happened to her career. Hope she'll bounce back!
I think its really important to take the time to self reflect. Its important to recognise how certain images and situations make you feel a certain way and start taking action to address those feelings. I think one of the issues today is that social media does not give you time to relfect on your feelings and a lot of the stuff that we see today is specifically designed to make you feel a certain way. Facebook decided to do a completely unethical study where they selected a very large section of their audience, showed more negative content to one group and pushed more postive and uplifting content to the other group. Im pretty sure i was in the negative group because i found that i was getting upset a lot with what i was seeing and eventually moved to another social media. once i found out about this unethical study they did i stopped using facebook altogether. But its important to note that everyone has an inhernt negative bias, we are natrually programed to think negative first, im not 100% sure why but being positive and makeing postive choices is not someting that is natural to us and takes work. People who are appear to be just naturally positive and heartwarming have put work into being that way and everyone else needs to start practicing positivity both within themselves and through their behaviour and interaction with others.
First step, find a way to view this video in a postive way. Make a choice to change your perspective on this video, because it would be easy to leave and feel hurt by society standards and how the world treats women, i used to feel that way all the time.
also i think another thing to highlight, the actor who played lilico - Erika Sawajiri is interesting aswell, she was caught for drug possession and using a range of drugs from MDMA, LSD, marijuana, cocaine... and of course, the media blamed her and she is serving a 18 month sentence (i think she just got out of prison or is about to be) and will never be able to work in media again due to this unfortunately. we understand lilico to do drugs out of needing an escape, maybe thats how she felt too in work conditions that feel suffocating in always being in the public eye.
i cant imagine how playing this role felt for her - she was also a model and actor and i think because she understood how lilico felt she played her role the best anyone ever could. i hope she still has the chance to be in the media as she in my opinion is one of the best actors ive ever seen :')
this movie is possibly my favourite one of all time as i feel it so deeply as someone who has transformed myself through learning how to do makeup, losing weight, changing my hair.. in how i look over a short space of time to look like a different person, before i changed myself i loved it and after i still do but the themes resonate with me more.
I think this video helped me to word what I've been fearing about aging for a long long time. I'm a nonbinary person, but I wasn't immune to the way women were treated in media as I grew up. That fear of being obsolete, ugly and seen as 'old' is something that sticks to you, despite it all. Thank you for making the video ❤
This might seem random, but try reading the witches books and more set in the Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Lots of badass older ladies, especially Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax, and so on. They live their lives on their own terms. The book Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett too. Even though you're an enby and not a woman. It's probably still good no matter if you were born AFAB or not.
i began this movie a year ago but never finished it through because i wasnt really aware enough to understand the meaning, thank you for bringing this back to me!
I now have a perspective that absolutely changed the way I see this film and interpersonal of it. As a young girl (and to an extent, still now, but I admit I still feel insecure. Thanks, Mass media...) I never cared for appearing "trendy" or beautiful to a standard of the modern day. I never understood why my mother told me I had to put on acne cream/wash my face so much or I'd "look like her". I always thought she was beautiful. I never saw anything wrong with her. She meant some sun spots and acne scars.
However I've learned something else about myself. So fun fact about me- I have a few nerves in one cheek on my face that's disconnected from birth. No medical issues caused by it. But I recently learned that when I was at youngest 6 oldest 12, a doctor who examined my cheek said "well, she'll want botox... But only one side!!!" I WAS A CHILD. Learning about this as a young adult made me reflect a lot on this.
Supposedly the doctor that told me this was a top plastic surgeon in my country. I don't remember it well because I was a child, and I was more preoccupied with the books in the waiting rooms at the children's hospital and having the day off school.
TLDR about my facial nerves, they got disconnected in my right cheek at birth, and I can't move that side of my face that much. The worst it did was make me self conscious about my smile. It can't be surgically fixed. But I never wanted to fix my face. I couldn't and still can't imagine being able to fully smile. I'm happy with myself.
Another thing was online, I saw a video of a 45 year old woman who started her video saying that aging was nothing for young girls to be afraid of... Right before she encouraged getting Botox.
It makes me so mad we feel like this and how age is so stigmatized.
Thanks for making the video!
(so sorry im writing this comment at 2am so it probably won’t be coherent) this analysis has actually changed my life..
zooming in to the fear of ‘passage of time’, i’ve realised how fearful i am of wasting my youth, alongside irrational thoughts about appearance. it’s painfully disturbing how now, encouraged with new developments in media and technology, there is essentially a system built - for women to become deeply insecure, provoked, and capitalised off of by the leeching of insecurities.
i have been an enjoyer of this film for a long time and i think that it’s a brilliant depiction of how objectively women are valued - and how we can never win regardless of our decisions, whether it’s succumbing to beauty standards, valuing youthful appearances, or protesting them. it’s something we can’t physically boycott. i also picked up on the use of tragic structure in a sense, with Lilico beginning with nobility and arbitrary respect in her modelling career. it’s only a matter of time until she falls through to a fatal flaw, hubris, and ultimately her ‘downfall’ during the pipeline of her ‘adorned’ procedures becoming tarnished. i just wanted to outline this as i have been studying tragedy, and i interpreted the movie itself with layers of tragedy to it (while burdening beauty standards are another complex issue which i could ramble about forever)
Hey! I just wanted to mention that the actual term for adult woman comics/anime is “Josei” not “Shojo” as said at 1:05, shojo is for middle school age girls (Which the definition from oxford says lol)
Thank you for the correction! When searching both of those terms I was confused on what the difference was.
This was a really insightful, beautifully thought-out video essay. I have a painting I did a while ago called "Womanhood" that symbolizes the martyrdom of modern women in the face of our commodification and patriarchy.
This is such a great video!! When I saw you were talking about Helter Skelter I screamed lol. It’s absolutely one of my favorite movies of all time and everything you brought up was so true. It felt cathartic to hear you talk about it especially in these trying times 😭. Watching this video made me want to watch the movie again. Btw I just thought I’d ask because this movie is so hard to find online but where did you end up watching it? I haven’t seen it in ages.
I can’t believe I had never even heard of it until a few months ago! It immediately became one of my new all time favourites. I actually found a version of it uploaded onto UA-cam surprisingly enough.. idk if me revealing this will get it taken down 😬 but search Helter Skelter English sub it should come up lol.
@@FinalGirlStudios omg ohh okay thanks so much for letting me know!!! Great video, again!!
whenever this kind of topics come up i am so relieved that growing up i was never really pushed into any of these views or interested in them, and while i do want to lose some weight it's more to be on the healthier side and more comfortable with myself than to fall into the standards of beauty. i really hope we'll be able to move on from this as a society and let women just be comfortable in their own bodies
This is such a well-put together video, it's so sad how these double standards in gender exist and seem to continue being perpetuated in today's society
This vid just made me realize that I have always had a sinking feeling in the back of my mind of running out of time, like I won't be able to accomplish anything anymore once I get wrinkles. I didn't even realize it was because of this. Removing that immediately from my mindset.
This has been one of my favorite movies ever since it came out. No matter how many times I rewatch it, I never get tired of it and it never feels less relevant than the last time - in fact, maybe it's even more relevant, which is a little scary for all the reasons you laid out. Great video, I really enjoyed hearing this well-considered interpretation!
Something I thought you might find interesting since you did a video about her before, but Kyoko Okazaki loved Edie Sedgwick and it's believed that she inspired the beauty and tragedy seen in Lilico's character. The artwork of Lilico at 1:15 uses the poster for her last movie Ciao! Manhattan as a reference. I was really fascinated by the range of media that influenced her in the making of this manga, including the work of Jenny Holzer and David Lynch (mostly Twin Peaks, but she referenced his photography as well) and especially the film Sunset Boulevard.
Oh wow that is super interesting I had no idea that Okazaki was a fan of Edie! It’s funny I actually did think that artwork of Lilico looked like the Ciao! Manhattan cover but I thought it was a coincidence. It makes so much sense though. Thanks for mentioning some of her influences, its so interesting to know! Okazaki seems like such a fascinating woman, I hope to dive more into her work sometime soon.
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Maybe those women,who works for media and visual arts can see their values tied to their beauty and Self image.
I live in Africa. In our traditional society, still nowadays, aging is seen as gaining respect and being confortable in life.
It is linked to having statut, and more power. It is the time, the woman enjoys her perks, having her family and community taking care of hers.
While she can coach young sters on life difficulties.
its insane that erika sawajiri is naturally beautiful enough to play someone whose beauty is 100% manufactured🤨 i've noticed her and other japanese idols and actors that are popular for their beauty go through a phase where they make themselves conventionally unattractive and go through a phase of rebellion in order to protect themselves (especially if they're thrown into the spotlight at a young age)
Almost all famous actresses and even actors across the globe have at least a few procedures done😔. The easiest-to-overlook cases get it done before the height of their career. The procedures that are harder to miss happen later to keep themselves in the spotlight. Ex kim’s first BBL and nose job, kpop idols’ eyelid surgerys and nose jobs. Few noses are safe in the entertainment industry.
this has to be the best video I’ve ever watched
I’m so happy this video was made. This movie deserved so much more recognition
I am 17, soon to be 18. I allready fear the process of aging and look at pictures myself before puberty, longing to posess that innocent, skinny and cute childlike look (I live in Korea where that is the beauty-standard). I am "still" considered conventionally attractive, yet I fear my "decline" often.
From a young age, I was told I was beautiful alot and made that therefore my defining feature, yet constanly being aware that my beauty will fade. Looking back, I wish I was born without a face, neither pretty, ugly or average. I wish that my personal Value dindt rely on my looks.