Wow!!! I’ve been in Al Anon for 5 years and never heard that. Loving someone who’s an alcoholic is like mourning someone who’s still alive. Wow!!!! Sooooo true!!!
when my dads drinking was at its worst, this is exactly what i told my mom. i said it felt like my dad died and i was watching this stranger live in his place.
I’ll be an Al-Anon member for 52 years March, 2021. Why am I in this so long since my alcoholic husband is now my ex? Because those 12 Steps is a guide for living and helps with every day life, not just for an alcoholic. My qualifier almost destroyed me, but I was determined that he wouldn’t win. For any newcomer, make a commitment to this fellowship, and a happier life is guaranteed.
Today I spent the entire day sober at my grandmothers funeral surrounded by my alcoholic mother, alcohol absuer step dad and sister. I was made to feel like I was the problem because I don't drink, as I dropped my sister off who was hammered I realised I have finally had enough of being made to feel bad for their problems. Going to my first local meeting this week. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. ❤️
This sums up my feelings perfectly . My alcoholic husband is not the person I married. I'm grieving for the person I used to know. I'll share this with my Alanon group. Thank you for sharing !
Al-Anon will help you learn how to live properly. Those of us affected by an alcoholic, directly or indirectly think that living "wrong" is okay or normal but it is not. Thanks Jen for your post. I have been attending meetings for almost two months and this is a lifetime commitment because I want to change my life for the best.
Thank you for making this video. I've been suffering in silence for decades and need to get myself to a meeting. My sister is an alcoholic and I need to get help.
I went to an Al-anon meeting to explain what is addiction and to confirm my theory that liars fool liars. Liars reject the truth. Victimism runs in families. Partners of addicts act out the role of martyr, believe the addict is a victim and want others to believe the same. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others.
Thank you for sharing your experience. My father recently relapsed after five years of sobriety and I feel bombarded by old traumatic memories. This relapse feels new and old all at the same time. I've just learned about al anon and I'm so ready to participate and grow.
Relapse happens. Take care of you. This H.P. is real and sometimes I loose belief that if I’m not in charge everything will collapse. That’s a lie. It’s just my ego. After all somehow his drinking was ruined and believe that a power greater than you and I can turn away from the dark side of the force😀
Thanks Jen for sharing and being raw with the truth..which isn't easy to do! I am a daughter of an alcoholic and was married to an alcoholic for 16 years..my husband passed away 2 years ago tomorrow from alcoholism..I leaned on Jesus and still do as he comforts and heals me. I pray you to will find healing and comfort from all of your sorrows from the situation. God Bless You!
I’ve always felt like I’m grieving someone who is still alive. It’s rough. Thanks for sharing. Your relationship with your dad reminds me a lot of my mom. I’ve been debating on going to an AI ANON meeting for 2 months now. I think I will go
As crestons wife I remember going to alanon. I loved it the people were wonderful. The women were so kind. I will never forget telling my dad you are an alcoholic my dad said I havent drink in years. He said i am not a homeless person . He said I never drank all the time. He had the personality manipulative controlling bossy telling people what he thought even if it was a bit rude. I dont recommend telling your parent that. It sure felt good at the time. Oh and another thing alcoholics are always right and they love denial even when they dont drink anymore. My dad stopped at 50 and never had another drink. He only stopped because the dr said this starting to cause blood pressure problems and its all about them thats another thing. They will try to make you feel guilty for saying no. They dont like the word no even after they stop drinking. I do miss my dad alot he was a very kind person as well and would help people he even tried so hard to help my first husband stop drinking but he didnt and he said its time let him go get a divorce hes just like my brother he cant stop hes too far gone. My dad knew when to help and when to stop helping he really liked him. My exhusband loved my dad was very hurt when he died his dad was an alcoholic and forced him to drink like an adult at 12. His step dad was very mean to him I never liked his step dad very disrespectful to his mom and to women in general very verbally abusive. I dont like his mom either anymore shes very manipulative she also grew up in an alcholic home and I dont understand she could stay with him when he abused her son Jason. Thankfully I am very happily married to my husband Creston and hes not a drinker thank goodness. Its a hard life.
This little David has been at the hardware store trying to buy bread . ...knowing how ludicrous that is!! But love isn't always logical.....Alanon helps retrieve LOGIC AND NORMALCY♡
Thank you for sharing Jen! I'm in a play about an AA meeting and this really helped me get a perspective on what it might be like for my character's family.
Thank you you've helped tremendously so many people I went to Al-Anon for thirty-some years and I can't tell you how much it's helped me in my life through not just the alcoholism but also with so many other things in life thank you for your love and caring of other people God bless you
Hi Jen, this was incredibly useful. I really thank God there is UA-cam and that someone like you would provide insights of what Al Anon is, I am interested on joining and your video motivates me to give it a try :)
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s a heart breaking disease. It’s not easy to talk about. I’ve been going to meetings for awhile, and they have definitely helped. I still have a long road ahead of me, but serenity is near
I was just blessed to be able to tell young lady who is love ones dealing with alcoholism. She needs to go to these meetings to anyone reading this. You can have a full active, vibrant life. Please don’t lose hope there’s so much help and support reach out for it you’re not alone. Blessings.
So this doctor went to an AA meeting and announced he had the cure to alcoholism. All you have to do is take 1 pill. Someone in the meeting asked,’What if I take 2?
Thank you for this, it’s very helpful and I love your key takeaways. ACOA also, Mom just gave up 7 years sober, 5 of which we spent rebuilding our relationship after no contact for 3 years. I’ve spent 6 months trying and wishing for it to go away and back to where we were, sadly am now at a point of accepting this is where we are, and where she is intending to stay.
My heart goes out to you🙏 and to your dad and brother. I’ve been sober for a year and a half in the program. I also am beginning to get into some Al anon meetings as alcoholism and addiction is rife in my family. It feels good to be in recovery and on the spiritual journey. Growth feels good. That’s what I hear you saying here. Blessings to you and your family. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much for this video. I grew up the same way! Then continuously found the same man that had addiction issues and just cost so much pain. My hearts been reaching towards Al-Anon for sometime now and your video really help me so I thank you from the bottom of my heart
Jen, I'm from Brazil and while I was watching your video I felt like getting hugged. Thank you! And also I feel happy by seeing that you got it and hope you keep moving.
Hey, Jen, thank you for your heartfelt transparency and in sharing your solution. Al-Anon is THE place to receive love, support and the TOOLS for dealing with this cruel disease. Many, many, many hugs to you. May you continue to inspire those you come in contact with in spreading that message of hope! We really can be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not. Love, Laurie A
Thank you so much, I am coming to terms with someone very close being an alcoholic. I have felt for a long time, "this relationship feels like an addiction", and I am now realizing that it's because addiction was controlloing my loved one and thus the relationship. So much is clicking into place and it's overwhelming but relieving. I will be going to my first al-anon meeting asap.
Thank you for sharing this!! My son is alcoholic and in rehab. I am grateful that he is getting help but I know it will be a long road for him. I am going to my first al-anon meeting this week. I am have started the process of taking care of myself and letting go of trying to control the outcome of his recovery. I love my son so much so this is hard and I know I need help coping. Hope you are doing well.
I attended Al Anon and many other self help groups for over 25 years. I share some tips, tools and guidance that I have learned through my personal path that have helped me. My passion is to help others along their path too. Keep up the great work I can assure you it honestly does get better!!!
Thank you Jen. I am sitting here waiting to go to my first Al-Anon meeting. We r waiting for my daughter to get out of detox now. Your video gives me some encouragement. Thanks again. Patrick.
I am sorry about your suffering. thank you for sharing. Please remember since you discussing Alanon, that Tradition Eleven: "our public relations policy..... we NEED ALWAYS MAINTAIN PERSONAL ANONYMITY
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength & hope. Al-Anon saved my life and made me a stronger person enjoying the simple things out of my life. I was married to an alcoholic for 23 years, the last 10 were the worst as the alcoholism increased and increased. I was introduced to Al-Anon at my husbands first treatment center. In order for me to stay happy, I have to be an active member in the group by providing service work. Loving someone who's an alcoholic is like mourning someone who's still alive but, a thousand times over. While I have found my personal peace, my ex husband is still active in his addiction.
Thank you for sharing ❤️. I went to my first al anon meeting last week. I also last my brother to this disease just last October. It’s a really rough journey.
Your message was direct, clear, raw, real and extraordinarily helpful to me at this very moment . I am feeling so brutally hurt and devastated yet once again by this effed up addict who leads me on to think that he’s normal and then pulls the rug out from underneath me right at the moment when I need him the most !!!!!! my needs simply are not met and I keep getting tricked over and over and over. Its so pathetic. I liked what you said because its the truth - grieving someone who’s gone but who’s still physically there . Mind -f for sure.oh and yes my father was an alcoholic at an extreme level so I pick alchys for my partners likely because of my conditioning . Sheesh 😒
@@jenalgard1693 thanks for asking …. I finally went NO contact!!! 3 months now and its so much healthier for me !! Self love is occurring !!! ☝🏻✨🙏🏻I never went to a meeting - I moved 99 miles away . Its very hard and I cry all the time bec I miss him but reading this comment I wrote from a year ago and how much pain I was in is just what I needed to hear . What a God shot to wake up to!! I just miss the fantasy of how I want to remember it . It was a brutal existence a year ago ✨🙌🏼🥹
@@jenalgard1693 I am new in this area and there are some meetings but not nearly as many as LA where there were literally thousands ! I will have to research this more and I'll let you know. I know I need more support ~~deep connections too . Isolating can only go on for so long before you hit a new different kind of bottom .
Thank you for this video Jen. Searching Al-Anon information as I realise i need some help in my relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend. I've always been suspicious of twelve step programs generally due to the spirituality aspect but I will give it a try and hopefully take what I need from the program
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I want to give you a hug. I guess I'm lucky not having parents that drank, but I was the one who drank. I wasn't fall over, do stupid stuff drunk, but I always had a reason I could use a drink after work. I didn't go more than 6 days without a drink in 20 years. It didn't take much of an excuse to convince myself I needed one. In any case, my fitness goals are getting here as quickly as I'd like. I'm now 33 days sober and I'm not looking back. Best of luck to you.
@@jenalgard1693 I think it's 110 days sober now? Haven't had a drop. Down 15 lbs this year, cycling a lot. Currently looking outside to see if I'm gonna get caught in the rain if I go on a ride. Going strong, thanks!
Going to first meeting this afternoon, per my therapists recommendation. My mom was an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 55). Mom passed of breast cancer at 54. Been married to alcoholic for 30 years. One of our 27 year old twin boys has stated he's an alcoholic & continues to drink (this is heartbreaking). I can't take all this & am emotionally numb as a daughter, wife & mom. This lifetime isn't meant to be for me.
Lisa, similar. I’ve been toying with the idea of going to Al Anon for several months. I’ve been the child of an alcoholic for nearly 50 years and the wife of one for over 30 and now the mother of one. They are good and amazing people but I’m tired of it. I can’t fix them but maybe I can find some joy for myself.
@@dustymurdock9657 Ohh wow! So so many years of serving them all, definitely takes a toll. So hard to walk away. My 27 year old twin son's concern me now, more so than ever. One of them telling me/his alcoholic father that he know's he's an alcoholic. My other son is serving in the military & is currently in Germany (when he does drink it excessive). I didn't follow through with Al-Anon. Check out Irene Lyons on utube. She's opened my mind, in healing practices. Amazing, how you & I have such similarities.
Wow you guys are twins ! I have it on top (dad) to the side ( my now ex) other side (brother) and to the bottom ( son only child ) i get to have it all ! Thanking God is where I’m at in this now moment that I don’t have more ! It really is everywhere …. I guess God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle since He is in in charge anyways 💕🙏🏻💥✨
WE ARE THE TRUTH TELLERS. Our JOB IS TO BE UNAFFECTED BY THE ENERGIES OF OTHERS. Tis a sad space at times. Right now i am trying to swim to the surface of my emotions. Only there can i get a glimpse of the bigger picture. And it is there, when internal balance is restored and I am in tune with HP that I find peace. This requires ruthlessly honest self awareness.
I'm going through all this right now. Its definitely the toughest situation life has handed me yet. I dont consume alcohol as I see what it can do to someone. I havent reached out to any groups. I often feel like there's nothing else I can do but sit and watch.
thank you for taking the time to make this video. i have a loved one who’s struggled with ongoing substance abuse. i think a group like this would be beneficial for me. i know you said that the group is more-so geared towards, the loved ones of alcoholics, but do you think the same principles apply to other drugs? are there groups like al anon, but for other substances??
I was raised with a functioning alcoholic father who was a loved dentist! He was a mean drunk. Mom died at 44. Now my daughter is an alcoholic ! I did Al-Anon for 30 years. I detach in love! Have to always remember my steps!
@@fml5910 unbelievable!! Dad was a functioning alcoholic. Disease progresses! He had a booming practice! Everyone loved him! It ended when he was 60. Mom had died at 44. He remarried and 7 years later divorced him! He jumped off a bridge but did not die! In nursing home 23 years and died double amputee. Horrid disease and genetic too!
After an alcoholic father that I decided to take out of my life and now facing an ex boyfriend I finally decided to go to a meeting because it seems like nothing else work for me. I am to the point that I think I am crazy and this group is my only hope. After all research I have been doing this seems to be a good resource for help.
Pamela Moreira Al Anon is amazing!!! I’ve been going for 5 years. Amazing people. They told me to “keep coming back.” And kept saying to me “we love you. We’re going to love you until you can live yourself again.”
weisabunny I went and I felt good about it. I will keep going I definitely think I can benefit from what they teach there. I am happy it helped you. Thank you for sharing your experience.
stepheni hammer hey there :). Well, I have been through a few meetings! Short experience though. I am grateful I did it. After a few meetings I decided to cut contact with the addict 100%, I decided not to go to the meetings anymore and focus on my life and happiness and things I want to build. I have been good since then... emotionally too. I was super attached to that person and it was killing ( not his fault my fault). Now I am happy. Also, my alcoholic dad texted me last September my birthday and I answered with a word for the first time in years. Pretty good progress. I am happy and good here.
Being in a relationship with someone ACTIVE in their Flipped On Addiction switch is triickyaf. They have to come to know their triggers... Just as each of us has to know this about ourselves... Loving and constant attention given to the pain within... The pain within that is STEERING OUR LIFE. Emotions are like children, Kids,... You cant keep them in the trunk And you certainlly don't want to give them Steering Wheel Either.xo
I’m an alcoholic and I have a toddler daughter. I have an 11 year old son. I really want to know how it affects kids bc I am scared of my kids living without me like I did with my mom. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Thank you for sharing!!!❤❤❤
I went to an Al-anon meeting to explain what is addiction and to confirm my theory that liars fool liars. Liars reject the truth. Victimism runs in families. Partners of addicts act out the role of martyr, believe the addict is a victim and want others to believe the same. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others.
Wow!!! I’ve been in Al Anon for 5 years and never heard that.
Loving someone who’s an alcoholic is like mourning someone who’s still alive.
Wow!!!! Sooooo true!!!
when my dads drinking was at its worst, this is exactly what i told my mom. i said it felt like my dad died and i was watching this stranger live in his place.
I understand that totally! Thank you so much my sister! ❤
I was married to an alcoholic for many years and have a daughter. I understand feeling like that. Thank you for sharing ❤@@catherine4908
I’ll be an Al-Anon member for 52 years March, 2021. Why am I in this so long since my alcoholic husband is now my ex? Because those 12 Steps is a guide for living and helps with every day life, not just for an alcoholic. My qualifier almost destroyed me, but I was determined that he wouldn’t win. For any newcomer, make a commitment to this fellowship, and a happier life is guaranteed.
52 years. Wow. And I just had my very first meeting online, and I only heard about it yesterday. I was not expecting the group to be so enlightened
Today I spent the entire day sober at my grandmothers funeral surrounded by my alcoholic mother, alcohol absuer step dad and sister. I was made to feel like I was the problem because I don't drink, as I dropped my sister off who was hammered I realised I have finally had enough of being made to feel bad for their problems. Going to my first local meeting this week. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. ❤️
Good for you!!! How did your meetings go?
expecting a normal relationship with an alcoholic is like going to the hardware store for bread. wish I heard that before...
Sad but true
I'm a sober alcoholic and needed to hear this. Sometimes seeing this awful disease from a different perspective if eye opening. Thank you
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼👏👏👏
You're so welcome!!!
This sums up my feelings perfectly . My alcoholic husband is not the person I married. I'm grieving for the person I used to know. I'll share this with my Alanon group. Thank you for sharing !
Al-Anon will help you learn how to live properly. Those of us affected by an alcoholic, directly or indirectly think that living "wrong" is okay or normal but it is not. Thanks Jen for your post. I have been attending meetings for almost two months and this is a lifetime commitment because I want to change my life for the best.
Thank you for making this video. I've been suffering in silence for decades and need to get myself to a meeting. My sister is an alcoholic and I need to get help.
I went to an Al-anon meeting to explain what is addiction and to confirm my theory that liars fool liars. Liars reject the truth. Victimism runs in families. Partners of addicts act out the role of martyr, believe the addict is a victim and want others to believe the same. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others.
My daughter after 30 years of recovery from alcohol and drugs still doesn’t speak to me despite my efforts but I am grateful for my life
Its like living in a groundhog day loop of their funeral....i pray that God will help me find joy.xo
It always comes down to saving ourselves bec you’ll go down the tub right along with them !!
Thank you for sharing your experience. My father recently relapsed after five years of sobriety and I feel bombarded by old traumatic memories. This relapse feels new and old all at the same time. I've just learned about al anon and I'm so ready to participate and grow.
How are you ?
What tools helped the most ?
Relapse happens. Take care of you. This H.P. is real and sometimes I loose belief that if I’m not in charge everything will collapse. That’s a lie. It’s just my ego. After all somehow his drinking was ruined and believe that a power greater than you and I can turn away from the dark side of the force😀
I cried a lot. I'm starting this week. Thank you so very much.
HOw did it go??
Thanks for sharing, Jen. Me? 39 years in Alanon. never looked back- ofter the first meeting.
Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Jen for sharing and being raw with the truth..which isn't easy to do! I am a daughter of an alcoholic and was married to an alcoholic for 16 years..my husband passed away 2 years ago tomorrow from alcoholism..I leaned on Jesus and still do as he comforts and heals me. I pray you to will find healing and comfort from all of your sorrows from the situation. God Bless You!
AngelB Online Marketing Solutions god bless you as well! Thank you for watching and replying!
Jesus is it !!! I ask him constantly to help me - he never never lets me down …. 🙏🏻🙌🏼‼️💖
Peace be with you
Thank you so much for this video. It really helped me a lot and I’m really glad I saw it tonight
WingsTM you’re welcome!!!
I’ve always felt like I’m grieving someone who is still alive. It’s rough. Thanks for sharing. Your relationship with your dad reminds me a lot of my mom. I’ve been debating on going to an AI ANON meeting for 2 months now. I think I will go
As crestons wife I remember going to alanon. I loved it the people were wonderful. The women were so kind. I will never forget telling my dad you are an alcoholic my dad said I havent drink in years. He said i am not a homeless person . He said I never drank all the time. He had the personality manipulative controlling bossy telling people what he thought even if it was a bit rude. I dont recommend telling your parent that. It sure felt good at the time. Oh and another thing alcoholics are always right and they love denial even when they dont drink anymore. My dad stopped at 50 and never had another drink. He only stopped because the dr said this starting to cause blood pressure problems and its all about them thats another thing. They will try to make you feel guilty for saying no. They dont like the word no even after they stop drinking. I do miss my dad alot he was a very kind person as well and would help people he even tried so hard to help my first husband stop drinking but he didnt and he said its time let him go get a divorce hes just like my brother he cant stop hes too far gone. My dad knew when to help and when to stop helping he really liked him. My exhusband loved my dad was very hurt when he died his dad was an alcoholic and forced him to drink like an adult at 12. His step dad was very mean to him I never liked his step dad very disrespectful to his mom and to women in general very verbally abusive. I dont like his mom either anymore shes very manipulative she also grew up in an alcholic home and I dont understand she could stay with him when he abused her son Jason. Thankfully I am very happily married to my husband Creston and hes not a drinker thank goodness. Its a hard life.
Thank God you have someone not tied to alcohol finally ! Yay!
This little David has been at the hardware store trying to buy bread . ...knowing how ludicrous that is!! But love isn't always logical.....Alanon helps retrieve LOGIC AND NORMALCY♡
Praise God ! No more hardware store errands for me !!
🥳
Thank you for sharing Jen! I'm in a play about an AA meeting and this really helped me get a perspective on what it might be like for my character's family.
Thank you you've helped tremendously so many people I went to Al-Anon for thirty-some years and I can't tell you how much it's helped me in my life through not just the alcoholism but also with so many other things in life thank you for your love and caring of other people God bless you
Your video made me tear up. Going to my first Alanon meeting tonight.
That’s amazing!!! I hope you were able to try a few meetings. They say try 6 before you decide.
Now there are lots on zoom too 💜
Thank you for not taking this video down after 4 years! I am just starting my healing journey with numerous alcoholic family members. This helped ❤
Hi Jen, this was incredibly useful. I really thank God there is UA-cam and that someone like you would provide insights of what Al Anon is, I am interested on joining and your video motivates me to give it a try :)
Glad it was helpful! Did you ever go to one?
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s a heart breaking disease. It’s not easy to talk about. I’ve been going to meetings for awhile, and they have definitely helped. I still have a long road ahead of me, but serenity is near
I was just blessed to be able to tell young lady who is love ones dealing with alcoholism. She needs to go to these meetings to anyone reading this. You can have a full active, vibrant life. Please don’t lose hope there’s so much help and support reach out for it you’re not alone. Blessings.
I have been a member of alanon for 17 years. The program has given me so much strength and confidence which I never knew I had.
Q: How do you know if you're at an Al-Anon meeting?
A: Someone spills their coffee, then everyone else gets up to clean it up.
HAHAAH
Hahaha! So true.
Or they hold themselves back with all they have as they know they are desperately working on their boundaries ;) . great comment.
So this doctor went to an AA meeting and announced he had the cure to alcoholism. All you have to do is take 1 pill. Someone in the meeting asked,’What if I take 2?
Thank you for this, it’s very helpful and I love your key takeaways. ACOA also, Mom just gave up 7 years sober, 5 of which we spent rebuilding our relationship after no contact for 3 years. I’ve spent 6 months trying and wishing for it to go away and back to where we were, sadly am now at a point of accepting this is where we are, and where she is intending to stay.
I’m sorry to hear that!! Definitely take care of yourself by going to Al Anon - can’t go to the hardware for bread!!
So so sorry
You've expressed some incredibly helpful and relevant truths. Thank you so much
My heart goes out to you🙏 and to your dad and brother. I’ve been sober for a year and a half in the program. I also am beginning to get into some Al anon meetings as alcoholism and addiction is rife in my family. It feels good to be in recovery and on the spiritual journey. Growth feels good. That’s what I hear you saying here. Blessings to you and your family. 🙏🙏🙏
Wow so proud for you!
Thank you so much for this video. I grew up the same way! Then continuously found the same man that had addiction issues and just cost so much pain. My hearts been reaching towards Al-Anon for sometime now and your video really help me so I thank you from the bottom of my heart
Thanks for sharing!! Did you go to a meeting?
Thanks for sharing your story and words. Alanon has saved my life❤
Thank you for your open honesty and humility 🙏
Jen, I'm from Brazil and while I was watching your video I felt like getting hugged. Thank you!
And also I feel happy by seeing that you got it and hope you keep moving.
I love that ! A hug !!! Yes me too ! 💥🙏🏻
Ola
Thanks Jen, I Started Alanon last week, 4 meetings in two weeks. I have a sponsor. I’m so encouraged. 💙
Wtg. Another winner
God bless you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing. 😊
Hey, Jen, thank you for your heartfelt transparency and in sharing your solution. Al-Anon is THE place to receive love, support and the TOOLS for dealing with this cruel disease. Many, many, many hugs to you. May you continue to inspire those you come in contact with in spreading that message of hope! We really can be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not. Love, Laurie A
Laurie McCracken Alsted thanks for this message I needed this reminder!!
Laurie … cruel indeed ! Your message gives me tremendous comfort 🤗✨
Thank you so much, I am coming to terms with someone very close being an alcoholic. I have felt for a long time, "this relationship feels like an addiction", and I am now realizing that it's because addiction was controlloing my loved one and thus the relationship. So much is clicking into place and it's overwhelming but relieving. I will be going to my first al-anon meeting asap.
Overwhelming but relieving is a great way to put it! Did you go?
" ..like going to the hardware store for bread."
EPIC !
Thank you, keep living your best life!
Thank you for sharing this!! My son is alcoholic and in rehab. I am grateful that he is getting help but I know it will be a long road for him. I am going to my first al-anon meeting this week. I am have started the process of taking care of myself and letting go of trying to control the outcome of his recovery. I love my son so much so this is hard and I know I need help coping. Hope you are doing well.
ejarrett1213 that’s great for your journey. how was your first meeting?
I love my son so much too ! I guess in this lifetime my lesson is to LoVe myself more !
Thank you Jen. Great testimony. Keep writing sweetheart 😀
I attended Al Anon and many other self help groups for over 25 years. I share some tips, tools and guidance that I have learned through my personal path that have helped me. My passion is to help others along their path too. Keep up the great work I can assure you it honestly does get better!!!
Catherine IV thank you :)
@@jenalgard6345 💜
CHANT Macklemore 😀 nice to meet you
Thank you so much I needed this 🙏🏻🧡
I'm so grateful I found this. Thank you
Thank you Jen. I am sitting here waiting to go to my first Al-Anon meeting. We r waiting for my daughter to get out of detox now. Your video gives me some encouragement. Thanks again. Patrick.
Patrick Vega how was your meeting and how is your daughter after detox?
Patrick Vega I hope you got to an Al Anon meeting. It’s an amazing place where people ‘get it’ like others can’t.
I am sorry about your suffering. thank you for sharing. Please remember since you discussing Alanon, that Tradition Eleven: "our public relations policy..... we NEED ALWAYS MAINTAIN PERSONAL ANONYMITY
Thank you for this video. I needed this today.
Thank you for sharing your experience, strength & hope. Al-Anon saved my life and made me a stronger person enjoying the simple things out of my life. I was married to an alcoholic for 23 years, the last 10 were the worst as the alcoholism increased and increased. I was introduced to Al-Anon at my husbands first treatment center. In order for me to stay happy, I have to be an active member in the group by providing service work. Loving someone who's an alcoholic is like mourning someone who's still alive but, a thousand times over. While I have found my personal peace, my ex husband is still active in his addiction.
I'm so happy you've found YOUR peace!!
Thank you for your encouragement ! It helps💕
Thank you for sharing ❤️. I went to my first al anon meeting last week. I also last my brother to this disease just last October. It’s a really rough journey.
Sorry for your loss! How are you doing now?
@@jenalgard1693 I have days of joy and days of great sadness. Grief is a journey ❤️
Where’s the poem?! I’m intrigued. Thank you for this. This resonates with me very much. 💜
That was amazing... going to my first meeting tomorrow... thank you
Going to my first this afternoon~
Ismael Burgara how did it go?
HOW DID IT GO?? IM GOING ON WED
Your message was direct, clear, raw, real and extraordinarily helpful to me at this very moment . I am feeling so brutally hurt and devastated yet once again by this effed up addict who leads me on to think that he’s normal and then pulls the rug out from underneath me right at the moment when I need him the most !!!!!! my needs simply are not met and I keep getting tricked over and over and over. Its so pathetic. I liked what you said because its the truth - grieving someone who’s gone but who’s still physically there . Mind -f for sure.oh and yes my father was an alcoholic at an extreme level so I pick alchys for my partners likely because of my conditioning . Sheesh 😒
Wow that's so true. How are you going? Did you go to a meeting?
@@jenalgard1693 thanks for asking …. I finally went NO contact!!! 3 months now and its so much healthier for me !! Self love is occurring !!! ☝🏻✨🙏🏻I never went to a meeting - I moved 99 miles away . Its very hard and I cry all the time bec I miss him but reading this comment I wrote from a year ago and how much pain I was in is just what I needed to hear . What a God shot to wake up to!! I just miss the fantasy of how I want to remember it . It was a brutal existence a year ago ✨🙌🏼🥹
@@jenalgard1693 I am new in this area and there are some meetings but not nearly as many as LA where there were literally thousands ! I will have to research this more and I'll let you know.
I know I need more support ~~deep connections too .
Isolating can only go on for so long before you hit a new different kind of bottom .
Thank you for bravely sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Thank you for this video Jen. Searching Al-Anon information as I realise i need some help in my relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend. I've always been suspicious of twelve step programs generally due to the spirituality aspect but I will give it a try and hopefully take what I need from the program
Laura Hodgson I’m glad it helped! have you found a meeting yet?
Thank you for this insightful video !
Loved your share 😘thank you for sharing I am one of you too there others out there that are suffering in silence like i did so many years 😘
May we all be immersed in JOY !!!!
Thanks for sharing Jen.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I want to give you a hug. I guess I'm lucky not having parents that drank, but I was the one who drank. I wasn't fall over, do stupid stuff drunk, but I always had a reason I could use a drink after work. I didn't go more than 6 days without a drink in 20 years. It didn't take much of an excuse to convince myself I needed one. In any case, my fitness goals are getting here as quickly as I'd like. I'm now 33 days sober and I'm not looking back. Best of luck to you.
How are you doing now??
@@jenalgard1693 I think it's 110 days sober now? Haven't had a drop. Down 15 lbs this year, cycling a lot. Currently looking outside to see if I'm gonna get caught in the rain if I go on a ride. Going strong, thanks!
I just went to my first Al Anon meeting yesterday and watched this today... Yup, I keep trying to buy bread... thank you.
You got this! How are you doing?
Hey, this was super helpful. Thanks for posting it.
awesome, so glad!
Going to first meeting this afternoon, per my therapists recommendation. My mom was an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 55). Mom passed of breast cancer at 54. Been married to alcoholic for 30 years. One of our 27 year old twin boys has stated he's an alcoholic & continues to drink (this is heartbreaking). I can't take all this & am emotionally numb as a daughter, wife & mom. This lifetime isn't meant to be for me.
Lisa Buscaglia I am so glad you are going to get some fresh tools and perspective!
Lisa, similar. I’ve been toying with the idea of going to Al Anon for several months. I’ve been the child of an alcoholic for nearly 50 years and the wife of one for over 30 and now the mother of one. They are good and amazing people but I’m tired of it. I can’t fix them but maybe I can find some joy for myself.
@@dustymurdock9657 Ohh wow! So so many years of serving them all, definitely takes a toll. So hard to walk away. My 27 year old twin son's concern me now, more so than ever. One of them telling me/his alcoholic father that he know's he's an alcoholic. My other son is serving in the military & is currently in Germany (when he does drink it excessive). I didn't follow through with Al-Anon. Check out Irene Lyons on utube. She's opened my mind, in healing practices. Amazing, how you & I have such similarities.
@@jenalgard6345
Thank you🌻
Wow you guys are twins ! I have it on top (dad) to the side ( my now ex) other side (brother) and to the bottom ( son only child ) i get to have it all ! Thanking God is where I’m at in this now moment that I don’t have more ! It really is everywhere …. I guess God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle since He is in in charge anyways 💕🙏🏻💥✨
Thank you for sharing this. 😭😭
Jen , Thank you for your video.
Thank you for your generous share. Family disease of alcoholism indeed. We don’t have alcoholism we have “near” alcoholism.
Thank You for Your bravery I n sharing !!
Thanks very much for sharing 😊💜
"LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION BUT DELIVER US FROM EVIL" ALCOHOL DRUGS ANY ADDICTIVE HURTFUL HABIT❤️🙏🏿❤️
WE ARE THE
TRUTH
TELLERS.
Our JOB IS TO BE UNAFFECTED BY THE ENERGIES OF OTHERS.
Tis a sad space at times.
Right now i am trying to swim to the surface of my emotions.
Only there can i get a glimpse of the bigger picture.
And it is there, when internal balance is restored and I am in tune with HP that I find peace.
This requires ruthlessly honest
self awareness.
Thank you greatly for this video.
God bless you. Much love
so sad, I can relate to all this, father an alcoholic. Nothing worked with mine either, eventually went no contact. Thanks for the video.
Rory Byrne sometimes that’s what you have to do for your own health!
THANK U 4 SHARIN' UR STORY! JUST FOUND U. HAVE A HAPPY Y BLESSED DAY! 💖🦋🌹🐞😀🌟👒
I'm sorry you have known such despair.
I am in this
sacred space
with You.xo
Thank you for making this video.
I'm going through all this right now. Its definitely the toughest situation life has handed me yet. I dont consume alcohol as I see what it can do to someone. I havent reached out to any groups. I often feel like there's nothing else I can do but sit and watch.
Did you ever try an Al Anon meeting?
@@jenalgard1693 I havent tried any groups yet. I hear they help alot. I'm not one go talk about family issues
@@kazya7484 you can attend meetings and just listen. Talking and sharing are optional.
You are so beautiful and your message is very empowering and welcome
Thank you so much!
thank you for taking the time to make this video. i have a loved one who’s struggled with ongoing substance abuse. i think a group like this would be beneficial for me.
i know you said that the group is more-so geared towards, the loved ones of alcoholics, but do you think the same principles apply to other drugs? are there groups like al anon, but for other substances??
Thank you so much
I was raised with a functioning alcoholic father who was a loved dentist! He was a mean drunk. Mom died at 44. Now my daughter is an alcoholic ! I did Al-Anon for 30 years. I detach in love! Have to always remember my steps!
@@fml5910 unbelievable!! Dad was a functioning alcoholic. Disease progresses! He had a booming practice! Everyone loved him! It ended when he was 60. Mom had died at 44. He remarried and 7 years later divorced him! He jumped off a bridge but did not die! In nursing home 23 years and died double amputee. Horrid disease and genetic too!
After an alcoholic father that I decided to take out of my life and now facing an ex boyfriend I finally decided to go to a meeting because it seems like nothing else work for me. I am to the point that I think I am crazy and this group is my only hope. After all research I have been doing this seems to be a good resource for help.
Pamela Moreira Al Anon is amazing!!! I’ve been going for 5 years. Amazing people. They told me to “keep coming back.” And kept saying to me “we love you. We’re going to love you until you can live yourself again.”
weisabunny I went and I felt good about it. I will keep going I definitely think I can benefit from what they teach there. I am happy it helped you. Thank you for sharing your experience.
hey it's been a while since you've posted this comment, how have you been doing?
stepheni hammer hey there :). Well, I have been through a few meetings! Short experience though. I am grateful I did it. After a few meetings I decided to cut contact with the addict 100%, I decided not to go to the meetings anymore and focus on my life and happiness and things I want to build. I have been good since then... emotionally too. I was super attached to that person and it was killing ( not his fault my fault). Now I am happy. Also, my alcoholic dad texted me last September my birthday and I answered with a word for the first time in years. Pretty good progress. I am happy and good here.
stepheni hammer Thank you for asking! How are you?
You are a great help thank you
Thank you! ❤️
Being in a relationship with someone ACTIVE in their Flipped On Addiction switch is triickyaf.
They have to come to know their triggers...
Just as each of us has to know this about ourselves...
Loving and constant attention given to the pain within...
The pain within that is STEERING OUR LIFE.
Emotions are like children, Kids,...
You cant keep them in the trunk
And you certainlly don't want to give them
Steering Wheel
Either.xo
So true.
WOW !!! Such great writing ! I love that !! My emotions were controlled by the whims of an random drinking habit of someone outside of me !!
Thank you ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you.
I’m an alcoholic and I have a toddler daughter. I have an 11 year old son.
I really want to know how it affects kids bc I am scared of my kids living without me like I did with my mom.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Thank you for sharing!!!❤❤❤
You 100% have what it takes to find your reason WHY you want to live your healthiest life
Thank you for this
Thanks for sharing!
I went to an Al-anon meeting to explain what is addiction and to confirm my theory that liars fool liars. Liars reject the truth. Victimism runs in families. Partners of addicts act out the role of martyr, believe the addict is a victim and want others to believe the same. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents becoming victims of themselves so as to conceal the hatred to hurt others.
“ Grieving someone who is still alive “
thank you,Iwill go
Thank you
I suggest you watch the documentary called
"Sensitive- Highly Sensitive People ".
You can find it on a smart tv.
Forgiveness is the cure for what ails us.
The Fibonacci sequence!
I need you in my life x
❣️
Where did you post your poem. I would love to read it. Your share was very enlightening. Thank you.
You know what I never did post it, I will do that now!