Do You Have a Toxic Relationship With Your Mother? | This Morning
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
- We’ve all seen the complicated dynamics between mothers and daughters, but is it possible for these relationships to become toxic? That’s exactly what’s explored in the new BBC series Amandaland, where a mother-daughter bond, played by Lucy Punch and Dame Joanna Lumley, takes a toxic turn. Today, to break down why these relationships can become so difficult, psychologist Linda Papadopoulos is on the sofa - plus she’ll be answering some viewers' concerns.
Broadcast on 10/02/2025
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It heartbreaking and soul destroying when one has no other options but to walk away from one’s mother for whatever reasons. But for the sake of our sanity, we have to.
Absolutely, I don't talk to mine and won't again
I'm the very same. Once a narcissist always one
You need therapy
@Mel87y I've had it thanks, the issue is my mother won't
Same.
Same happened to me. She was narcissistic, jealous and envious of me. I had to have counselling to help me recover
There are absolutely toxic mother-son relationships. Sometimes that isn't apparent until the sons get a partner. Also, I have met sons whose mothers have very toxic expectations of them, or even treat them as a substitute husband.
It can go all ways, there are plenty of complicated father-son and father-daughter relationships too, fact is lots of people shouldn't have procreated!
I have a gift of communicating with my spirit guides and they told me that my mother hated herself and so projected that hatred on to me. It did help to understand but it took a long time to heal.
Some people shouldn't be mothers.... I am no contact with my mother. She is incapable of love. She is my biggest bully.
Same with mine. Sending hugs 🫂, it never really leaves you does it☹️
I'm in my late 30s, and the relationship between my mum and I has been rather shaky. Her attachment style is dismissive-avoidant, dad's is secure, mine is anxious-avoidant but becoming secure through therapy and healthier life choices. It's important to understand that sometimes a parent can only demonstrate love and care in the same capacity that they received it as a child themselves. So I have my ideal version of parental love and care, but it differs from my mum. So I have had to make peace with that. my biggest wish is that she would go to therapy, but her pride, stubbornness, and lack of thinking there is a problem to begin with, get in the way. I'm childfree, but I know that in an alternate universe where I was a mum, I'd be as great a mum as I could be, and really be there to listen if my child was going through anything relating to mental health. (The axe forgets, but the tree remembers).
Good for you for getting this far, and being willing to understand your Mom’s limitations. I do hope she will see the value of therapy someday.
Thank you for this @FeelinErie . It's exactly what I needed to read today . I can surely relate . Lesson to be learnt is that you can't fix them unless they decide to do something about their behavior.
My mother was not shown love as a child and it caused her mental illness but she would never discuss it with her parents nor deal with her soul issues. Whilst for years I excused her bad treatment of me due to her mental health I know she played on it to say horrible things to you and laugh. She was truly a cruel evil woman. I forgive but will not forget. I am also childfree out of choice but deep down know I would be a great mother and that I will be one when I pass over.
I’m sorry for Sarah and I think Linda gave her good advice. Sometimes there is just nothing more you can do and it’s pointless volunteering to be hurt.
That’s ridiculous for Ben to say,Mother and son can be toxic aswell, don’t ever think otherwise !!
Also setting boundaries is hard too the parents end up sulking!!
Yeah and it's hard to keep peace as they love breaking your boundaries.
Sulking is better than the no contact parent attempting to interfere with/ruin your life (as mine did)
I have nothing to do with either of my parents and don't want to or plan too anytime soon
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@prochoicenotantivax119 honestly same
Same mate. Hugs 🫂
The most difficult relation its a hugh sadness to not have an easy relation with your mom
Linda Papadopoulos is a fantastic! 🙌
It's very hard to communicate boundaries, especially when you feel like it's you being under attack like your shape, weight, and size or the way you live your life.
Perhaps this woman is right about the mother thinking she has to protect her daughter from society but when you can kind of get your head around that society is going to judge no matter what and you know the goal is to be you, society becomes less of a problem and the Mother in front of you is now the problem and she's obviously nuturered you from a baby so it hurts more and words can have a lasting impact like as this viewer has wrote in she doesnt have any confidence so Mothers can cause long term damage for the childs self esteem and for the relationship depending on how long it's gone on for. You can even try to understand her and why she's doing what she's doing, but it's not making your current situation any less of a problem.
I have set other boundaries from a calmer place, and it's taken both time and work to get there. You've just got to be calm but firm. It is a bit like setting boundaries with a child up until this point they've behaved the way they've wanted to and depending on how toxic the Mother is there can and be no reasoning with her your boundaries will seam like threats and you're in a no win situation. Something will give whether you have nothing to do with her, create loads of space or you'll try your best to fit in with her expectations feeling like you're never enough and suffer terribly with your own self esteem. Mothers who really want to make a difference will watch this episode because it's not even about attacking the Mother for how hurt you feel if a mother truly wants a best friend out of you she'll stop with all the jabs because it doesn't build connection between her daughter. The mother will set the tone as to what relationship if not all all you have.
I often wondered what my mother’s upbringing was like, she prob shldn’t have been a mother. I chose not to be one, in case I made the same mistakes she did.
Ditto here. Mine came from a lineage of mother-daughter toxicity. I've ended it by not having kids.
@ Realised years later my mother was a narcissist, as is my younger sister. Have little contact with sister now, & all the better for it.
I have tried for the last 4 years to reconcile with my daughter. She wants nothing to do with me. I had problems with my mental health, i did the best I could but she won’t forgive me. I feel my life is over. I will never live a happy day.
Maybe you try to take over her life and she had enough
As parents we are not perfect. If you’ve said sorry and been specific on what you know you did to upset your daughter and made a point of changing, then move on. Sometimes we have to accept what is and be happy that your daughter is happy to live her life.
Be kind to yourself she may feel guilty and come back for now concentrate on you and making yourself happier
At least you seem to have had some self awareness and self reflection.... maybe this is something you need to tell her.
@@mum2jka I am sorry to read this Maria. That was good advice
.