You MUST accept your part in the "idealisation" (love-bomb) stage. Do not live in denial... they were "fit", they "had a nice body", they "had nice eyes", whatever it was that drew you in... OWN IT. YOU allowed them in, THEY are not super-humans, they are manipulative deceptive jerks! Now learn from those mistakes and never make them again ❤❤❤
They know how to play nice for long enough to get you hooked. Then, if you are not familiar with their ways, they always have an excuse for their poor behavior. At some point you are so deep in that you don't really know how to get out, particularly if you have any legal obligation with them (kids, marriage, business, etc). With kids, also all the drama with the kids. I don't know how to own not knowing all of this was intentional. You genuinely think it is a troubled person trying to improve, not the case, they are being exploitative all the time
My ex husband malignant covert narc told me I was sent from God! He even came to my gynecologist appointments with me😳that was a 1st!! But he said horrible things about his ex…….should have been 1st RED flag!!! Now 19 yrs later, he has lost his 49yr million dollar business has restraining orders on him, liens, judgements!! It’s still affects me at times but boy am I glad I got away!!!!🙏🏻Thank you Jesus!
I was a mrs b but bc of your channel and others, books, and even info I gained from social media, I’ve become mrs A and continuing my healing journey. Thank you Dave.
To anyone going through a narcissist discard. I dated a man for three years who love bombed, lied, charmed, false promised, cheated, and gaslit. I had a gut feeling something was off for all three years. I stuck around due to his academic achievements, charm, looks, humor, & future wealth prosperity. My ex proposed me after three years. Then six days later called to breakup cold/discard for no reason. Ex dumped me before a crucial work event I was hosting. The dupers delight he felt was sickening. Since the breakup over three weeks ago, I got blocked on everything. Found out he is already following new girls to flirt/attract. The humor is the count keeps going up I suppose he is trying but failing to attract new supply. The family of my ex is in utter shock. They thought I was close to perfect. There is nothing you can do to keep a narcissist. The narcissist always want more no matter how hard you try to be "perfect". It is an utter waste of time. They are devils who suck all your money, time, & energy. After the breakup, I followed my gut by contacting his ex whom he obviously lied about. The ex was hard to find because he never mentioned her by name. I only had a photo, the year she graduated, and a degree as info. Thankfully he foolishly had his facebook photos open still. I searched an old photo, who liked it, and found her. The ex sounded like a copy of me and received almost worst treatment. My ex dumped her after three years via email. Blocked via everything. The two attended college together/classes together! A month later he is dating someone new flaunting romantic acts viciously in front of her in attempts to make her to drop out/fail school. Six months later after Graduation he calls her fake love bombing convincing her to reconcile. She agrees. After convincing her to move jobs to his state...a week later he texts "never mind. we aren't suited together." blocked. I assume he will attempt this with me but good luck you are blocked. The good in the story. I reconnected with an old high school friend from over 10 years ago...he contacted me out of the blue five days after my ex did this. Now we are dating as he experienced a similar breakup. Its funny how the universe/god protects you and invites treasure when you remove trash. As well as, the ex gf who I contacted is engaged to a great man.
We went through a lot but I still love him but I refuse to reach out because of the truths stated here. Everything you’re sharing is true and it hurts but gives me the strength to love from a distance to protect myself and kids.❤ Thank you for your service.
It's confusing on purpose. Narcissists make it that way. I think on some level because they're pretending to be us, we don't think it's an opposites attract scenario initially. Once we recognize they actually are our exact opposite, most have bonded to the imitation version of themselves the narcissist propped up in the beginning. But, guess what that's really telling you? You miss you. They were duplicating you. There's no need for an imitation you because the real you is buried under compulsively repeated lies, confabulation, dehumanization, blame-reversing, projection and gaslighting. Once you shed these self-annihilating beliefs like an exoskeleton, there's your soul shining like brandnew, a wiser iteration of the original - an energy that can neither be created nor destroyed because it didn't generate itself. Your soul is God-breathed. ❤
This is so true. The opposite of this is also true: Anytime I would be sick, or unable due to my blood pressure, or a sick migraine , to get up out of bed and help her rearrange the living room, or hang curtains, etc, she would get mad. She would tell her criminal grandson things I shared with her in private, and I'd hear his sickening voice parrot back to me while I'm laying there needing some quiet time, things I shared with her verbatim. (So I know two things: she weaponized him against me from day 1, and she never cared about whenever I was sick, knowing full well I was disabled when we met) Yet and still, I helped her all during the time she had open heart surgery. After two back to back relationships and both the same, more or less, I'm done. I finally have achieved my goal of peace of mind for the most part, to try to recover health wise, and maybe mentally too.
Oooh soooo very true! The last few years with the two narcassists I was around, one romantically, one friendship, I was nothing but sick. My adrenal numbers were off the charts. One I knew since childhood and I never knew what she was. I'm going to be honest, I carried some narcassistic traits and every night before bed, I pray to have more empathy and less narcassistic traits. I wish them both well but farrrr away from me. I can't withstand that again. The peace and calmness in my life now is phenomenal and I'll keep it at all costs. Yes I know life is life, but that alone is hard enough without the narcs in it. Peace, love, and calmness to you all. Ty Dave, for this tremendous info .
@glendaschilder3048 I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully they are both out of your life so you can heal and focus on you. As we recover I think the one thing we can do to help aid the process is give our time to those who deserve it.
I think they initially were drawn to our strength integrity n character but then quickly realized they don’t have any of those qualities so rather than stick out like a sore thumb they tried to devalue us so we’d feel worse n go down to their level. The problem is their level is so pathetically low it’s like going from filet mignon to literally puppy chow dry dog food. Just isn’t gonna fly
Heal for your own sake. Heal so you can live again. If that's not enough, heal so you can cripple the worthless narc POS that hurt you. Heal out of sheer spite.
🔥🔥🔥 This video is a MUST SEE video and is one of the best explanations and exhortations I have heard. The plant light analogy is spot-on! Great work! Listen and heed, folks! Especially you newbies to this channel! Read the comments and let the truth sink in. God bless all who read this comment. He loves you so much! You are too valuable to be wasted on a narc🤡!
Dear Dave and fellow Christians. Pls pray for me and my family… Married to a “Christian” narc for 10 years. I went thru hell. I finally ended the relationship and was resolved to never let him back in. I was happy, thriving finally healthy and strong. At the end of last year my father got sick and died. They’d been close so he was around and in my vulnerability I let him in. I thought he’d changed, he even said he wasn’t a narcissist anymore ( he was clinically diagnosed) he apologised for all his past behaviours and seemed to have acquired insight. I’m the mean time, his recent ex was still on the scene though he told me she wasn’t 🤦🏻♀️ 3 days after we were intimate, he jumped on a plane and married his ex in secret. He denied the past 3 months we spent together and when his children confronted him in front of the “wife” he threw them under the bus and called them liars to protect his image and lies and bragged about what a “great” father he’d been because I was so lousy and all their negative feelings were from my coaching. In my jealousy I’d manipulated his children to tell such lies. His mother, whom he’s lived with since we separated, the biggest enabler in the world backed him up too knowing the truth and called my 14 yo daughter a bitch 🤦🏻♀️ He bought a 1.5 million dollar house for the “wife” and moved without telling his kids. When they expressed their upset they were called jealous gold diggers, like me. My narc never bought us a house or ever established anything permanent real or stable. I’m struggling because I can’t believe I was duped again after 5 years of freedom. He got me at my most vulnerable whilst I was grieving my father, even threw a few bucks at the funeral costs to be the “good guy” then discarded me, in the middle of my grief, so he will always be tied into that sad event. Pure evil. Him and the wife attend church every Sunday and feed orphans in the Phillipines. They are good Godly people…. Discernment is everything 🙏
@@Narcologyunscripted He is also a high functioning alcoholic… Thank you with all my heart ♥️ for your prayers. Your channel is amazing. Your ministry is needed. God bless you Dave
Sending love and prayers to you too! Leave everything at the foot of the cross. Ask God to give you a new heart and He will - He will heal your grieving heart. Hold no bitterness towards that individual, God says pray for your enemy and leave him to God. He will reap what he has sown and God will renew your spirit. God bless you and greetings from Ireland 🙏
My prayers are with you and your kids 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Be thankful that you are away from this Narc/snake and heal within and give all the resentment, hurt, anger everything negative to Jesus and ask him to take care of you and your kids 🙏🏼 Focus on your new beginnings and all life has to offer you. Heal like you have before and have no contact again with Narc/ snake ever again. You now need to heal yourself inside/out and never look back again and refocus on your new life and newest version of yourself 🙏🏼 if we dwell with the past we cannot change or move forward!? I am also doing this for myself and been trapped and married to a narcissist for over three decades!! He is now playing the victim to our adult kids as I had to put a restraining order on him and have him legally removed from our house and myself. I had learned that I need to refocus and not to dwell and remember what he has done to me and all the abuse of every abuse known of. We need to focus more on our journey and every minute think and say out loud all the good and wonderful things we can accomplish and we will do this day forward with Jesus Christ by our side guiding us 🙏🏼 Everything we think and staying grounded and focused and believing will come full circle for our journey here to grow and move forward 🙏🏼❤️ no more fear or negativity or Narcissistic people in our lives!!
Hi Dave this is so true what a miserable existence The narc lives always pretending to be what they aren't they take acting to a whole other level 😂 I agree the narc did make me sick and felt very tired I thank Jesus that he set me free from this narc who is vey evil to the core I pray and asked God to take away anyone who isn't meant for me and He did it God is amazing I owe him my all 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thank you! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I have a friend who was dating someone, and she caused him a great deal of drama and pain. The girl put him through hell, and she went back to an ex of hers. My friend would always say how she changed. He spoke to her mother, and her mother would always say that the girl changed when she got with her ex, that she ended up going back to. I had to cut my friend off after he mentioned it for the umpteenth time like "she didn't change. She was always like that she just happened to have met someone who just brought it out of her, and she was finally comfortable being her authentic self around him". He finally understood like these ppl treat good ppl like dirt and bad ppl like gold because they themselves are bad and they understand one another. Funny thing is they end up getting hurt 10x bad by the ppl that are just like them, ya know the ppl they chosen over you. My friend got a front row seat to her demise. She's now a single mother since her ex left her once again and my friend is free from her and her baggage. He was angry and hurt at first, but now he sees the blessing from that ordeal.
I highly recommend the book "The Serpent's seed" by Dave Matthew's. Mind blowing and eye opening. It all began in the garden in the book of Genesis. All Glory to the Most High. Only the blood of Jesus redeems.
You have been touched by the Holy Ghost because the way you are able to put in the words the exact behaviors of the narcissist really helps break through the hold of the devil.
My re-married (married the new supply) Ex Narc seems to have fallen off the Earth. Our adult Daughters now only hear from him or see him for Birthdays and sometimes holidays. But that’s even falling apart. He does NOTHING for his Grandchildren (3) that live within an hour from him. He puts ZERO effort into the relationships that should matter in his life. He will ultimately die a bitter, lonely man. So sad that he obliterated a 30 year marriage and now he’s content losing his children too. Oh how he has fallen in their eyes. And he did it all to himself. I tried all I could to stop him from destroying his life. He was intent & never looked back. Now he’s reaping what he has sewn.
My ex narc demon always did this, always negative and nothing to say anything good about anyone he had to be the upper person and better one. Glad his stewing in his own nasty self now. I’m glad I’m away from his venom. Great advice Dave. Thankyou so much. I’m continuing to be Mrs A. I’m not turning bk or opening that door. I pray for my strength and focusing on the blessings god has given me in my life. My green pastures are staying green.
Exactly! Before my ex and I were married, he love bombed me, but I didn't recognize it. My parents told me that he seemed very "handsy" with me and a friend that that he was "touchy" with me, but in a dominate way. Our marriage counselor said that he was all over me and seemed to really adore me, but he was mentioning this as a negative thing. I was blind and couldn't understand how that was negative at all. Now I get it! Now I look back and understand! Now I remember things he would say in the love bomb era about how he looked better when he was with me. I didn't understand and I paid the price.
Ya. My ex narc wife told me she got hit by a dog and didn't get treated. She said she had symptoms of rabies and would be dying soon. She bluffed something like this in the past. I brought it up to her about the fact that she might be lying. she was so offended and she cried and cried. tears . So many tears. I broke my rule of no communication. As it turns out she was lying. I will never break my no communication or contact rule again.
I saw him yesterday and smiled, wasn't really thinking. I guess enough time has passed and I've truly healed. Anyway as soon as he noticed I was smiling, his shit eating grin turned into a hateful scowl.
I went thorough basically iCD and fear to go out Found my power And went through this again Walking out again was horrible but I have power again and happiness
Yep. No doubt about it but remember, If and when the Preying Mantis gets old, sick, or injured the parasitic Horsehair Worm won't stay with its host till the end. It simply slithers out of the Mantis and immediately seeks out a new supply source leaving the proverbial "King of Insects" a shattered used-up withered and useless husk discarded and left on the cold cold ground.
I had to get sober bc I thought I was going crazy. When I would wake up after a night of drinking I would be physically abused my belongings missing. Jewelry from my vacations and family members, rosary from my father’s funeral broken. This is when the abuse ramped up! I started going to aa, finding healthy friends (they had isolated me from my other friends saying that they only liked me bc I drank with them). I stopped arguing with them and asking for solutions instead of problems and man this is when they started munkeybranching to a person at work saying it was just a friend but wouldn’t introduce me (the narc knew all my friends). I feel like I drove them crazy bc I started dancing again doing yoga 5 days a week and all they did was rage most days of the week. When I wrote a list of boundaries that the narc couldn’t cross without consequences they poof! Disappeared, moved in with their new “friend” a week later. This is two years of a relationship with them. They had just given me and themself a bracelet that said “hold fast” days before.
😂😂😂 not a long beard, thanks for the laugh Dave! I just had this talk with someone I know about bad guys. I couldn’t understand why she would want a bad guy. I understand now, I’ve already been a little leary of them. This makes so much sense! Thank you! ❤
U r so awesome!!! U r now living rent free in my brain!!! I like ur sense of humour!! 30 months post narc, no contact. Had to move away. Well on my healing path. I go to the throne, everyday!!!
I have a narc friend that went on a two day tirade over something trivial as Fuck...been begging and I mean begging for friendship back since January and he can't handle it. This is a grown ass man. Reminds me exactly of the talented Mr Ripley...in fact I've been using that metaphor for the past 6 months... Gotta say my indifference drives him insane. There are certain things that I can see someone getting mad at..but he gets mad about little dumb stuff that one would get that mad about.
My ex narc never like to talk about the good old days with me every time I would say something to her like. Hey remember when we did this back then that was so much fun and she would just have no emotion in her face like she didn't care. Because they never look back it's to much destruction in their past the only time they do look back is too try and come back to low hanging fruit.
This thought terrifies me in a way. I married a convert narcissist who bless into a grandiose one in the last 4 years. I thought I married a fellow believer. But it is antithetical to think like a narcissist...act like one and serve God. I was married to a unbeliever...a pagan in the real sense.
Relistening to all of your videos. Divorce was finalized back in 2017. I became a Ms A who is oddly reverting back into a Ms B. I’ve never even attempted to date after our divorce praying he would come back. He did 2.5 years ago and left just as quickly. The devalue and discard were at hyper-speed that go around. I got stronger following that and actually healed when I saw the light. Now, I’ve suddenly put on all the weight I lost and I’ve let myself become obese and obsess over the narc constantly again. I am back to Ms B unblocking him and responding to stupid empty memes/texts that I know mean nothing. I don’t understand where I went so horribly wrong these past 6 months. I’m as bad as I was when he walked out with no warning/remorse in 2017 and had me cowardly served divorce papers by a process server. What is wrong with me?? I’m at worse than square one and cannot see how!!! Any advice is welcome from anyone who has lived this nightmare. Thank you 😢
Please just take it one day at a time … and just try to do something even if it’s spending time in the sun for 30 mins daily it’s going to be hard but it’s a day by day thing try to keep yourself busy !!!! ❤❤❤❤
And the happier you get, the more depressed they get. The more positive you get the more negative they become. The stronger you get, the weaker they become. You can forgive past behaviour, but you can't forgive constant patterns. "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine" 😂 He could never Be Me! Because I know my worth! I AM THE spot light, and now I walk away and leave the Narc in his darkness. The Bible is The only truth! Any other book is an imitator (the narcs book).
My neighbours next door: he is a covert narc and she - his wife meanwhile - is as toxic as a person can be - they deserve each other very much. Co narcs become as dangerous as the narc himself after decades. She has a heavy drinking problem meanwhile - but she just does not want to face reality - can´t help her - don´t help her - its none of my business.
Right on! Love Bombing then De Val. I had a Family Emergency. I felt he was Supportive- Later I found out - He said; Don’t Ever Leave me like that again! I was too Independent for them.
I'm goin wth Johnny Depps m.o. you'll never look into my eyes or hear my voice again! If she dies before me I won't be at the funeral 💯 no contact!! And I've forgiven as best as I could.
We were watching American history x one time, I thought she’d need to see because she’s racist and how the movie does a good job at pointing out the bigotry. She was all about Edward Norton and she would say how I looked like him and while she was rubbing my head she called me her Armenian skin head… quite the experience. And the part before where Edward Norton was about to get jumped in the shower, she said are they going to f him? I thought she was a fan, she literally didn’t care what was about to happen to him. she was indifferent. The only time she felt bad was when they killed Edward’s little brother at the end and that made her further confirm she wanted to stay racist. I said did you not get the whole point of the movie? You can’t let one person decide how you treat an entire race. It’s all bullshit. Everyone should be treated with respect. Anyone could turn on eschother, beliefs are all out the window when all you have is yourself to reflect on being in an institution.
That's one of their favourites telling people they have cancer when they haven't,it's sick and disrespectful to people who have cancer ,or people who lost someone through cancer🤔🚩🏃♀️
My narc was the hottest girl on the planet. After we split up I lost 20lbs. When I snapped out of being depressed. I thought dam I look good and I'm going to keep the weight off. Then I walked by where she worked. I could not believe how old she got and she gained 40lbs. I never saw that coming. I started eating better and kept healthy. The better I got the worse she looked. It's really shocking to see that
Ok so Dave has now quoted me 2x. I think that he's trying to shame me into being a Mrs. A. I was actually filling out divorce paperwork when I was watching this video. I had to laugh at the absurdity of it all
I’m a Muslim in holy Quran god says about narcs : If good touches you, it distresses them; but if harm strikes you, they rejoice at it. And if you are patient and fear Allah, their plot will not harm you at all. Indeed, Allah is encompassing of what they do. Quran 2:120.
I gave money to a homeless woman once while we were hanging out and he sneered at me and smacked his lips and said you're so sweet (green, wet behind the ears) Mind you I only gave the woman 1 dollar. He told on himself so many times, but I kept falling for the mask until I couldn't anymore. I hate the person I became while I was with him, closed off, bitter, cynical, addicted, could barely show up and be present for my daughter because I was so broken and confused. Post break up sometimes you care so much about proving points to them and trying to convince them of what they lost when really you should just be happy to be out of their circus!!! You were only just a prop
While in the relationship the narc would admit to so many truths of who he was down to telling me he was dead inside already that he wasn’t a healthy person that he had to live outside his body an deal with the demons inside his body- one time I saw what I think was a glimpse of him as if he was begging me to leave him with warnings to save me from the dragon inside of him that I later on witnessed! You would not believe your eyes of what came out of this man’s mouth and eyes a tall shadow growing over me until I called on the name of Jesus Christ he shrunk and ran inside his home what I called bunker! He called me immediately on said he hated me for disturbing the demons in him he works hard to sedate daily! He said he knows I’m chosen and my light was shining to bright and for that he hates me- this is how I found out I had a serious spiritual battle to face! World war 3 is a spiritual battle! Armor up with Gods armor asap! Narcs ain’t a person they are legions of demons here to attack the light of the world!
It is Frightening!
Looking back I was Protected by God!❤️🙏❤️
I’m overseas , it has been a year after narc abuse . Decided to ignore and be indffrence with narcs .
You MUST accept your part in the "idealisation" (love-bomb) stage.
Do not live in denial... they were "fit", they "had a nice body", they "had nice eyes", whatever it was that drew you in... OWN IT.
YOU allowed them in, THEY are not super-humans, they are manipulative deceptive jerks!
Now learn from those mistakes and never make them again ❤❤❤
Boom!
They know how to play nice for long enough to get you hooked. Then, if you are not familiar with their ways, they always have an excuse for their poor behavior. At some point you are so deep in that you don't really know how to get out, particularly if you have any legal obligation with them (kids, marriage, business, etc). With kids, also all the drama with the kids.
I don't know how to own not knowing all of this was intentional. You genuinely think it is a troubled person trying to improve, not the case, they are being exploitative all the time
My ex husband malignant covert narc told me I was sent from God! He even came to my gynecologist appointments with me😳that was a 1st!! But he said horrible things about his ex…….should have been 1st RED flag!!!
Now 19 yrs later, he has lost his 49yr million dollar business has restraining orders on him, liens, judgements!! It’s still affects me at times but boy am I glad I got away!!!!🙏🏻Thank you Jesus!
Dave, your humorous spin on the narcissist’s reality takes second place to none!
He’s hilarious isn’t he! Especially when he describes me! The Mrs. B! Still looking for answers😂😂
I was a mrs b but bc of your channel and others, books, and even info I gained from social media, I’ve become mrs A and continuing my healing journey. Thank you Dave.
Very true.
To anyone going through a narcissist discard. I dated a man for three years who love bombed, lied, charmed, false promised, cheated, and gaslit. I had a gut feeling something was off for all three years. I stuck around due to his academic achievements, charm, looks, humor, & future wealth prosperity.
My ex proposed me after three years. Then six days later called to breakup cold/discard for no reason. Ex dumped me before a crucial work event I was hosting. The dupers delight he felt was sickening. Since the breakup over three weeks ago, I got blocked on everything. Found out he is already following new girls to flirt/attract. The humor is the count keeps going up I suppose he is trying but failing to attract new supply. The family of my ex is in utter shock. They thought I was close to perfect. There is nothing you can do to keep a narcissist. The narcissist always want more no matter how hard you try to be "perfect". It is an utter waste of time. They are devils who suck all your money, time, & energy.
After the breakup, I followed my gut by contacting his ex whom he obviously lied about. The ex was hard to find because he never mentioned her by name. I only had a photo, the year she graduated, and a degree as info. Thankfully he foolishly had his facebook photos open still. I searched an old photo, who liked it, and found her.
The ex sounded like a copy of me and received almost worst treatment. My ex dumped her after three years via email. Blocked via everything. The two attended college together/classes together! A month later he is dating someone new flaunting romantic acts viciously in front of her in attempts to make her to drop out/fail school. Six months later after Graduation he calls her fake love bombing convincing her to reconcile. She agrees. After convincing her to move jobs to his state...a week later he texts "never mind. we aren't suited together." blocked. I assume he will attempt this with me but good luck you are blocked.
The good in the story. I reconnected with an old high school friend from over 10 years ago...he contacted me out of the blue five days after my ex did this. Now we are dating as he experienced a similar breakup. Its funny how the universe/god protects you and invites treasure when you remove trash. As well as, the ex gf who I contacted is engaged to a great man.
We went through a lot but I still love him but I refuse to reach out because of the truths stated here. Everything you’re sharing is true and it hurts but gives me the strength to love from a distance to protect myself and kids.❤ Thank you for your service.
I understand
It's confusing on purpose. Narcissists make it that way. I think on some level because they're pretending to be us, we don't think it's an opposites attract scenario initially. Once we recognize they actually are our exact opposite, most have bonded to the imitation version of themselves the narcissist propped up in the beginning. But, guess what that's really telling you? You miss you. They were duplicating you. There's no need for an imitation you because the real you is buried under compulsively repeated lies, confabulation, dehumanization, blame-reversing, projection and gaslighting. Once you shed these self-annihilating beliefs like an exoskeleton, there's your soul shining like brandnew, a wiser iteration of the original - an energy that can neither be created nor destroyed because it didn't generate itself. Your soul is God-breathed. ❤
Ohhhh,,,,my,,,how spot on,,,,thank you for knowledge you give,,,,
This is so true. The opposite of this is also true: Anytime I would be sick, or unable due to my blood pressure, or a sick migraine , to get up out of bed and help her rearrange the living room, or hang curtains, etc, she would get mad. She would tell her criminal grandson things I shared with her in private, and I'd hear his sickening voice parrot back to me while I'm laying there needing some quiet time, things I shared with her verbatim. (So I know two things: she weaponized him against me from day 1, and she never cared about whenever I was sick, knowing full well I was disabled when we met) Yet and still, I helped her all during the time she had open heart surgery.
After two back to back relationships and both the same, more or less, I'm done. I finally have achieved my goal of peace of mind for the most part, to try to recover health wise, and maybe mentally too.
The narcissists in my family abuse disabled family members at home but pretend they are taking care of them
Oooh soooo very true! The last few years with the two narcassists I was around, one romantically, one friendship, I was nothing but sick. My adrenal numbers were off the charts. One I knew since childhood and I never knew what she was. I'm going to be honest, I carried some narcassistic traits and every night before bed, I pray to have more empathy and less narcassistic traits. I wish them both well but farrrr away from me. I can't withstand that again. The peace and calmness in my life now is phenomenal and I'll keep it at all costs. Yes I know life is life, but that alone is hard enough without the narcs in it. Peace, love, and calmness to you all. Ty Dave, for this tremendous info .
I went through the same..had one in my life since childhood..been lying on me for years too..
@glendaschilder3048 I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully they are both out of your life so you can heal and focus on you. As we recover I think the one thing we can do to help aid the process is give our time to those who deserve it.
Wow! You keep dropping so many gems. " See how they talk about other people " That's brilliant !
I think they initially were drawn to our strength integrity n character but then quickly realized they don’t have any of those qualities so rather than stick out like a sore thumb they tried to devalue us so we’d feel worse n go down to their level. The problem is their level is so pathetically low it’s like going from filet mignon to literally puppy chow dry dog food. Just isn’t gonna fly
Heal for your own sake.
Heal so you can live again.
If that's not enough, heal so you can cripple the worthless narc POS that hurt you.
Heal out of sheer spite.
Love this
The one I was with was a cotton mouth snake 🐍 I understand great timing and great message ❤❤❤❤
🔥🔥🔥 This video is a MUST SEE video and is one of the best explanations and exhortations I have heard. The plant light analogy is spot-on! Great work! Listen and heed, folks! Especially you newbies to this channel! Read the comments and let the truth sink in. God bless all who read this comment. He loves you so much! You are too valuable to be wasted on a narc🤡!
Wow, thank you!
The narc running back too the old supply is one if the most pathetic thing you will ever see in your life ..
"We become narc plant-lights." LOL!!!! That is a perfect analogy.
He's telling the truth ❤. I pray that you all heal🎉
Dear Dave and fellow Christians. Pls pray for me and my family…
Married to a “Christian” narc for 10 years. I went thru hell. I finally ended the relationship and was resolved to never let him back in. I was happy, thriving finally healthy and strong. At the end of last year my father got sick and died. They’d been close so he was around and in my vulnerability I let him in. I thought he’d changed, he even said he wasn’t a narcissist anymore ( he was clinically diagnosed) he apologised for all his past behaviours and seemed to have acquired insight.
I’m the mean time, his recent ex was still on the scene though he told me she wasn’t 🤦🏻♀️ 3 days after we were intimate, he jumped on a plane and married his ex in secret. He denied the past 3 months we spent together and when his children confronted him in front of the “wife” he threw them under the bus and called them liars to protect his image and lies and bragged about what a “great” father he’d been because I was so lousy and all their negative feelings were from my coaching. In my jealousy I’d manipulated his children to tell such lies. His mother, whom he’s lived with since we separated, the biggest enabler in the world backed him up too knowing the truth and called my 14 yo daughter a bitch 🤦🏻♀️
He bought a 1.5 million dollar house for the “wife” and moved without telling his kids. When they expressed their upset they were called jealous gold diggers, like me.
My narc never bought us a house or ever established anything permanent real or stable.
I’m struggling because I can’t believe I was duped again after 5 years of freedom. He got me at my most vulnerable whilst I was grieving my father, even threw a few bucks at the funeral costs to be the “good guy”
then discarded me, in the middle of my grief, so he will always be tied into that sad event. Pure evil.
Him and the wife attend church every Sunday and feed orphans in the Phillipines. They are good Godly people…. Discernment is everything 🙏
Sending up prayers for you Angelfire
@@Narcologyunscripted He is also a high functioning alcoholic… Thank you with all my heart ♥️ for your prayers. Your channel is amazing. Your ministry is needed. God bless you Dave
Sending love and prayers to you too! Leave everything at the foot of the cross. Ask God to give you a new heart and He will - He will heal your grieving heart. Hold no bitterness towards that individual, God says pray for your enemy and leave him to God. He will reap what he has sown and God will renew your spirit. God bless you and greetings from Ireland 🙏
@@angelacahill9083 thank you so much for your prayers and kindness ❤️🙏
My prayers are with you and your kids 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Be thankful that you are away from this Narc/snake and heal within and give all the resentment, hurt, anger everything negative to Jesus and ask him to take care of you and your kids 🙏🏼 Focus on your new beginnings and all life has to offer you. Heal like you have before and have no contact again with Narc/ snake ever again. You now need to heal yourself inside/out and never look back again and refocus on your new life and newest version of yourself 🙏🏼 if we dwell with the past we cannot change or move forward!? I am also doing this for myself and been trapped and married to a narcissist for over three decades!! He is now playing the victim to our adult kids as I had to put a restraining order on him and have him legally removed from our house and myself. I had learned that I need to refocus and not to dwell and remember what he has done to me and all the abuse of every abuse known of. We need to focus more on our journey and every minute think and say out loud all the good and wonderful things we can accomplish and we will do this day forward with Jesus Christ by our side guiding us 🙏🏼 Everything we think and staying grounded and focused and believing will come full circle for our journey here to grow and move forward 🙏🏼❤️ no more fear or negativity or Narcissistic people in our lives!!
Hi Dave this is so true what a miserable existence The narc lives always pretending to be what they aren't they take acting to a whole other level 😂 I agree the narc did make me sick and felt very tired I thank Jesus that he set me free from this narc who is vey evil to the core I pray and asked God to take away anyone who isn't meant for me and He did it God is amazing I owe him my all 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thank you! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I have a friend who was dating someone, and she caused him a great deal of drama and pain. The girl put him through hell, and she went back to an ex of hers.
My friend would always say how she changed. He spoke to her mother, and her mother would always say that the girl changed when she got with her ex, that she ended up going back to. I had to cut my friend off after he mentioned it for the umpteenth time like "she didn't change. She was always like that she just happened to have met someone who just brought it out of her, and she was finally comfortable being her authentic self around him".
He finally understood like these ppl treat good ppl like dirt and bad ppl like gold because they themselves are bad and they understand one another. Funny thing is they end up getting hurt 10x bad by the ppl that are just like them, ya know the ppl they chosen over you. My friend got a front row seat to her demise. She's now a single mother since her ex left her once again and my friend is free from her and her baggage. He was angry and hurt at first, but now he sees the blessing from that ordeal.
Like if they team up with another Narc... Karma !✨🌻✨
Narc plant 🪴 lights another classic 😂 you have some original classics Dave! Hit off the Narc pipe and Mrs A & B are my favorites 😂
So many videos on UA-cam that are surface level regurgitation. I needed videos like this 2 years ago when I started to wake up.
Hiya Dave !😃✨🕊️🙏💐⚖️💟.
Stay healthy and fun !
I highly recommend the book "The Serpent's seed" by Dave Matthew's.
Mind blowing and eye opening.
It all began in the garden in the book of Genesis.
All Glory to the Most High.
Only the blood of Jesus redeems.
I am currently in hermit mode. Not ready yet.
I have to watch your videos all the time bcz despite I have been abused all life , still I see good in them , I have to change brain pattern .
You have been touched by the Holy Ghost because the way you are able to put in the words the exact behaviors of the narcissist really helps break through the hold of the devil.
They have no soul.
My re-married (married the new supply) Ex Narc seems to have fallen off the Earth. Our adult Daughters now only hear from him or see him for Birthdays and sometimes holidays. But that’s even falling apart. He does NOTHING for his Grandchildren (3) that live within an hour from him. He puts ZERO effort into the relationships that should matter in his life. He will ultimately die a bitter, lonely man. So sad that he obliterated a 30 year marriage and now he’s content losing his children too. Oh how he has fallen in their eyes. And he did it all to himself. I tried all I could to stop him from destroying his life. He was intent & never looked back. Now he’s reaping what he has sewn.
I Just Went No Contact For The Final Time
Stay strong! You can do it!
Yesss!
My ex narc demon always did this, always negative and nothing to say anything good about anyone he had to be the upper person and better one. Glad his stewing in his own nasty self now. I’m glad I’m away from his venom.
Great advice Dave. Thankyou so much.
I’m continuing to be Mrs A. I’m not turning bk or opening that door.
I pray for my strength and focusing on the blessings god has given me in my life.
My green pastures are staying green.
Love it Dave impersonating older Dave Lol! Thank you for the continued knowledge it Is life changing ! Thank you❤
My pleasure!
Exactly! Before my ex and I were married, he love bombed me, but I didn't recognize it. My parents told me that he seemed very "handsy" with me and a friend that that he was "touchy" with me, but in a dominate way. Our marriage counselor said that he was all over me and seemed to really adore me, but he was mentioning this as a negative thing. I was blind and couldn't understand how that was negative at all. Now I get it! Now I look back and understand! Now I remember things he would say in the love bomb era about how he looked better when he was with me. I didn't understand and I paid the price.
Isn’t that the truth! Amen brother!❤🙏
Ya. My ex narc wife told me she got hit by a dog and didn't get treated. She said she had symptoms of rabies and would be dying soon. She bluffed something like this in the past. I brought it up to her about the fact that she might be lying. she was so offended and she cried and cried. tears . So many tears. I broke my rule of no communication. As it turns out she was lying. I will never break my no communication or contact rule again.
Dave it's been 4 +years since the discard. I feel lonely some times but healthier.
I saw him yesterday and smiled, wasn't really thinking. I guess enough time has passed and I've truly healed. Anyway as soon as he noticed I was smiling, his shit eating grin turned into a hateful scowl.
Always good content Dave, God bless you.....
God Bless you!
I agree Dave they are jealous of our bright light and virtues 💯
So sad really but I did get a good belly laugh when you said we are narc plant lights😅😅😅
I went thorough basically iCD and fear to go out
Found my power
And went through this again
Walking out again was horrible but I have power again and happiness
Yep. No doubt about it but remember, If and when the Preying Mantis gets old, sick, or injured the parasitic Horsehair Worm won't stay with its host till the end. It simply slithers out of the Mantis and immediately seeks out a new supply source leaving the proverbial "King of Insects" a shattered used-up withered and useless husk discarded and left on the cold cold ground.
Lean in to the Lord's prayer. As we forgive those...no contact!
Soooo True Dave....I Lived Every WORD your saying 💯
Every WORD 💯💯💯💯
I smashed the narc lamp.
I had to get sober bc I thought I was going crazy. When I would wake up after a night of drinking I would be physically abused my belongings missing. Jewelry from my vacations and family members, rosary from my father’s funeral broken.
This is when the abuse ramped up! I started going to aa, finding healthy friends (they had isolated me from my other friends saying that they only liked me bc I drank with them). I stopped arguing with them and asking for solutions instead of problems and man this is when they started munkeybranching to a person at work saying it was just a friend but wouldn’t introduce me (the narc knew all my friends).
I feel like I drove them crazy bc I started dancing again doing yoga 5 days a week and all they did was rage most days of the week.
When I wrote a list of boundaries that the narc couldn’t cross without consequences they poof! Disappeared, moved in with their new “friend” a week later. This is two years of a relationship with them. They had just given me and themself a bracelet that said “hold fast” days before.
😂😂😂 not a long beard, thanks for the laugh Dave!
I just had this talk with someone I know about bad guys. I couldn’t understand why she would want a bad guy. I understand now, I’ve already been a little leary of them. This makes so much sense! Thank you! ❤
Your welcome Amber!
Strengh and Will power will always conquer and stand rise over the defeated conquests of narcissism
U r so awesome!!! U r now living rent free in my brain!!! I like ur sense of humour!! 30 months post narc, no contact. Had to move away. Well on my healing path. I go to the throne, everyday!!!
Thank you Dave thank you for the truth, even if the truth hurts
True if you have God you don't want anything dark.god show light on people
Thank you for your philosophy.xx Mary
Thanks for listening
I have a narc friend that went on a two day tirade over something trivial as Fuck...been begging and I mean begging for friendship back since January and he can't handle it. This is a grown ass man. Reminds me exactly of the talented Mr Ripley...in fact I've been using that metaphor for the past 6 months...
Gotta say my indifference drives him insane. There are certain things that I can see someone getting mad at..but he gets mad about little dumb stuff that one would get that mad about.
Greenhouse narc plants. LOL so good. And scary how true that is. Always entertainment and therapeutic Dave. These people suck.
Davi I enjoy when you say come back and you will have a long white beard 😂the humor I love it 😊❤
hahaha
My ex narc never like to talk about the good old days with me every time I would say something to her like. Hey remember when we did this back then that was so much fun and she would just have no emotion in her face like she didn't care. Because they never look back it's to much destruction in their past the only time they do look back is too try and come back to low hanging fruit.
May GOD continue to use you brother!
Love that you apply the WORD of GOD
This thought terrifies me in a way. I married a convert narcissist who bless into a grandiose one in the last 4 years. I thought I married a fellow believer. But it is antithetical to think like a narcissist...act like one and serve God. I was married to a unbeliever...a pagan in the real sense.
Relistening to all of your videos. Divorce was finalized back in 2017. I became a Ms A who is oddly reverting back into a Ms B.
I’ve never even attempted to date after our divorce praying he would come back. He did 2.5 years ago and left just as quickly. The devalue and discard were at hyper-speed that go around. I got stronger following that and actually healed when I saw the light. Now, I’ve suddenly put on all the weight I lost and I’ve let myself become obese and obsess over the narc constantly again.
I am back to Ms B unblocking him and responding to stupid empty memes/texts that I know mean nothing. I don’t understand where I went so horribly wrong these past 6 months. I’m as bad as I was when he walked out with no warning/remorse in 2017 and had me cowardly served divorce papers by a process server. What is wrong with me?? I’m at worse than square one and cannot see how!!! Any advice is welcome from anyone who has lived this nightmare. Thank you 😢
Please just take it one day at a time … and just try to do something even if it’s spending time in the sun for 30 mins daily it’s going to be hard but it’s a day by day thing try to keep yourself busy !!!! ❤❤❤❤
Praying for you right now. Go to
The thrown .. God loved you
Praying for your strength
You are amazing. I am addicted to your channel
Thank you so much 😀
And the happier you get, the more depressed they get.
The more positive you get the more negative they become.
The stronger you get, the weaker they become.
You can forgive past behaviour, but you can't forgive constant patterns.
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine" 😂
He could never Be Me!
Because I know my worth!
I AM THE spot light, and now I walk away and leave the Narc in his darkness.
The Bible is The only truth!
Any other book is an imitator (the narcs book).
My neighbours next door: he is a covert narc and she - his wife meanwhile - is as toxic as a person can be - they deserve each other very much. Co narcs become as dangerous as the narc himself after decades. She has a heavy drinking problem meanwhile - but she just does not want to face reality - can´t help her - don´t help her - its none of my business.
Love the Rattle Snake take.. wow🎉
You are really helping me so much, I need counseling
Right on! Love Bombing then
De Val.
I had a Family
Emergency. I felt he was Supportive-
Later I found out -
He said; Don’t Ever Leave me like that again!
I was too Independent for them.
Welcome!
666 likes.. confirmation I am defeating the 😈 TY DAVE.
Stay 🙌 blessed...
❤
IT told me he HATES people. 😮
I'm goin wth Johnny Depps m.o. you'll never look into my eyes or hear my voice again! If she dies before me I won't be at the funeral 💯 no contact!! And I've forgiven as best as I could.
I forgave the one that tried to ruin my life too. I even pray for her regularly. BUT I do not want her back and do all of this FROM A DISTANCE.
This is my tactic, too. No more energy willingly shall go in that narc's direction.
@AndrewFosterSheff69 "May God bless you and keep you...FAR away from me!" 😂🙏🏼 (Fiddler on the Roof scene)
I Love you brother
We were watching American history x one time, I thought she’d need to see because she’s racist and how the movie does a good job at pointing out the bigotry. She was all about Edward Norton and she would say how I looked like him and while she was rubbing my head she called me her Armenian skin head… quite the experience. And the part before where Edward Norton was about to get jumped in the shower, she said are they going to f him? I thought she was a fan, she literally didn’t care what was about to happen to him. she was indifferent. The only time she felt bad was when they killed Edward’s little brother at the end and that made her further confirm she wanted to stay racist. I said did you not get the whole point of the movie? You can’t let one person decide how you treat an entire race. It’s all bullshit. Everyone should be treated with respect. Anyone could turn on eschother, beliefs are all out the window when all you have is yourself to reflect on being in an institution.
The ex narc of my bff said he had brain cancer.. which was a big lie 🤮
That's one of their favourites telling people they have cancer when they haven't,it's sick and disrespectful to people who have cancer ,or people who lost someone through cancer🤔🚩🏃♀️
Dave, he literally just reached out to me and I ran to your channel….and boom 💥 your message is on point 🎯 Thank Youuuuuu Dave. God is great❤
You are so welcome
Cheers 👋 bless your heart brother ❤ thank you for your fellowship 🥹 Praise Jesus 🕊️🎈
My narc was the hottest girl on the planet. After we split up I lost 20lbs. When I snapped out of being depressed. I thought dam I look good and I'm going to keep the weight off. Then I walked by where she worked. I could not believe how old she got and she gained 40lbs. I never saw that coming. I started eating better and kept healthy. The better I got the worse she looked. It's really shocking to see that
Ok so Dave has now quoted me 2x. I think that he's trying to shame me into being a Mrs. A. I was actually filling out divorce paperwork when I was watching this video. I had to laugh at the absurdity of it all
The Narc Plant in the Greenhouse 😅😂😅😂😅
I’m a Muslim in holy Quran god says about narcs : If good touches you, it distresses them; but if harm strikes you, they rejoice at it. And if you are patient and fear Allah, their plot will not harm you at all. Indeed, Allah is encompassing of what they do. Quran 2:120.
Amen!
I've sometimes wondered if they are the Nephillim...lol. The devil's advocate. Like just to destroy you....
F ‘em
Worried about my friend...
I gave money to a homeless woman once while we were hanging out and he sneered at me and smacked his lips and said you're so sweet (green, wet behind the ears)
Mind you I only gave the woman 1 dollar. He told on himself so many times, but I kept falling for the mask until I couldn't anymore. I hate the person I became while I was with him, closed off, bitter, cynical, addicted, could barely show up and be present for my daughter because I was so broken and confused.
Post break up sometimes you care so much about proving points to them and trying to convince them of what they lost when really you should just be happy to be out of their circus!!! You were only just a prop
They are nothing but empty souls. They are danger zone. 8:41
When you use term sicker……. You mean the Zoloft and Valium they need to be on
Thanks!
You bet! Thank you!!!!
Sounds like some girl freinds of mine who want to dress like me talk like me and secretly competing.
While in the relationship the narc would admit to so many truths of who he was down to telling me he was dead inside already that he wasn’t a healthy person that he had to live outside his body an deal with the demons inside his body- one time I saw what I think was a glimpse of him as if he was begging me to leave him with warnings to save me from the dragon inside of him that I later on witnessed! You would not believe your eyes of what came out of this man’s mouth and eyes a tall shadow growing over me until I called on the name of Jesus Christ he shrunk and ran inside his home what I called bunker! He called me immediately on said he hated me for disturbing the demons in him he works hard to sedate daily! He said he knows I’m chosen and my light was shining to bright and for that he hates me- this is how I found out I had a serious spiritual battle to face! World war 3 is a spiritual battle! Armor up with Gods armor asap! Narcs ain’t a person they are legions of demons here to attack the light of the world!
Strange exchange! Lol 😂 Sounds like a great trade to me! ❤
In the middle of darkness. Lord Jesus Christ is your search light out in the middle of an ocean. He lights up the path for you.
My narc ex used his liver for attention as soon as I entertained him he went right back to drinking jack and coke like a fish.
Praying for you... Keep the potassium up..." No salt " potassium salt can help that
I will not throw my pearls before swine.
I have always believed in Christ.
My Ex Narc, was constantly saying he had Cancer when he didn't 🤔🚩🏃♀️
❤️