What to do when piano students cry in lessons (from a former teary child) - VMTC
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
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What does it mean when a student cries in your piano lesson? Experiencing an emotional outburst can be unsettling, but don't panic! Here are some ideas on what might be really going on underneath the surface and how to best support your student (from a former teary child).
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00:00 What's new at Vibrant Music Teaching?
10:04 Is it a bad thing if you have a teary child?
13:05 The Two Types of Teary Students
15:26 Reason No. 1: Pain
16:42 Reason No. 2: Fear
17.39 Reason No. 3: Frustration
19:43 Reason No. 4: Anger
20:39 What to Do With an Overwhelmed Student
21:34 Don't do this!
25:04 How to Deescalate Tears
27:24 Is your student a highly sensitive person (HSP)?
32:22 QUESTION: How do you let parents know their child has been upset?
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Thanks for watching! If you're catching up with the replay, I'd love to hear how you've helped tearful students. Let me know in the comments below.
Yay APTA! It was a very helpful session.
I can totally relate to Nicola: information overload and feeling pressured to put it all together. Speaking for myself, I tend to put that pressure on myself. But sometimes, whoever is providing the information does not also provide the atmosphere for honest evaluation and processing. They kind of assume you are in sync with them and have reached the expected conclusion. So, this topic is an eye-opener for me as a teacher and how I provide info to my students! 👍
Love this talk, and the openness that you shared about this topic, Nicola. I was a sometimes-weepy child in music lessons as well, but most of my tears were due to my own high standards for myself. I was blessed with kind, caring teachers who let me work through those emotions when needed (except for one very insensitive and often mean college band director who made many college students cry openly IN REHEARSAL - Gah!). I am so appreciative of your perspective on this topic. An excellent assessment of many causes and possible approaches.
One thing I immediately thought of that was maybe not fully fleshed-out is that children who are experiencing big emotions need the grown-ups around them to acknowledge those feelings. Feelings aren't bad. They are valid and important. When my own children are in the throes of a tantrum, it usually helps to come alongside them and express my understanding for the way they are feeling, saying things like "you must feel so mad about that right now," or "I'm sorry that happened to you, I can see you are very sad about it." It's EXACTLY like the scene in Inside Out when Joy is trying to console Bing Bong (who is busy crying candy tears in total despair) with silliness, games, telling him to stop crying, that it'll be ok, etc. But it is Sadness who comes alongside and says "I'm sorry they took something that you loved. I bet you and Riley had great adventures....yah, that's sad." and her empathy helps him to work through it and snap right out of that despair. Children can't express those kinds of things in words, and it helps for the grown-ups around them to put words to what they may be feeling, and acknowledge it's OK to feel that way. Hope this is helpful to some!
Yes! This is something I actively practice doing too. ☺️
I was a crier, but I'd say it was due to yet another reason: a build up of stress from other events or cronic life situations such as living in a stressful school or home environment. Some teeny tiny thing at piano could trigger the release of that pent up stress.
Good point and thank you for sharing!