EVERY black, young, gay male needs to be tuned in to this series! Im tearing up as I'm writing this because I understand how informative and lifesaving these conversations will be to the next and upcoming generation of black queer men! These conversations aren't being had in the homes amongst queer black children. So you can only imagine how isolating and confusing some of these lessons had to have been for you guys. If the world and it's many challenges represented the sea, this series represents a life vest.... my godddd I'm bawling. Great work you all! 🫶🏾
It's not just young men who need to hear this conversation (and engage in some of their own where they live) but men of all ages. I'm older than all of the participants and what strikes me is how similar the experiences are regardless of age. What I really think is vital to the overall Black gay community is more inter-generational dialogue. BGM of varying ages need to have spaces where we can engage and build community. As several men said on the video, they worry about what will happen as they age, with no spouse or children. WE have the ability to address those issues as a community, if we choose to.
Great way to start my morning while at work. My friends and I recently had this conversation about the “winter of our lives”. We’re over 40 and don’t want kids. We’re considering buying a brownstone and each person will have a full apartment on each floor. If we leave NYC, we’d buy a few acres of land and build a few houses.
Loving the dialogue, but something that I find perplexing is how dating outside your race equates to dating white, such a blanket statement. I grew up in California in a racially diverse neighborhood in Los Angeles, and I currently live in NYC. My immediate family is blended, I have a step mother that is Mexican, a step sister that is biracial (Mexican and Samoan), and biracial halfsiblings. Dating outside my race means anyone that does not identify as Black (East/South/South East Asian, Latinos, Pacific Islanders, bi/multiracial folks, etc.), there is a world of people that aren't white or Black. I do think geography plays a part in this perception, as someone noted everyone is from the South except for 2 participants that grew up in the Midwest.
This is the kind of content i love to see as a young gay black man. Craig you are an amazing example of what aging as a gay black man SHOULD look like. This conversation was lead with love while still having a sense of accountability when it comes to our communities. Well done.
Thank you. I’m glad you get it cause some (in your generation) are pissed lol. They swear I’m pushing a narrative to date white men lol. Idk what they watched. Couldn’t have been this episode lol
I’m so happy to see these men openly share their truth. I’m a married middle aged woman & I grew up in a generation where my gay male friends did not have this luxury. My husband is super cool with my relationship with my gay male friends as well. My best friend recently married his partner of 30 years.❤️❤️. Keep up the great content & conversations guys!!💯💯❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾
Aww. Thank you for reminding me how lucky i am being free as a Gen Z black gay man. Thanks to you and your husband for loving gay folks, being kind and good human beings. May your joy be full!
@@okorochukwunonso2563 Thank you for the great comment. Yes, you are very fortunate to be raised in ur generation. My youngest daughter is in her 20’s & her best friend is a gay black male in his 20’s. He says he LOVES being around my hubby & I bcuz we show him so much love. I even tell him to invite his boyfriend over for bbq’s!! I just want to do my part for the young black & other races’ gay males. I never want you all to experience what my friends experienced back in the 80’s and 90’s. Stay true to yourself sweetheart, there are those like me who will love and cherish you, and also raise our kids to be kind, tolerant, and loving to everyone! ❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️🥰🥰
@okorochukwunonso2563 I'm an elder millennial and I love how you late millennial, Gen z and Gen alpha operate,I know yall get criticized but every generation get criticized but u guys are different more informed,more accepting and I love it and here for it. I try my best to not criticized yall and I'm for yall
Being almost 41 and hearing some of these stories definitely is a great thing and eye opener for me. The end discussion regarding having no kids and feeling the need to get close to nieces and nephews hit home.
I think it’s interesting that black men who date exclusively nonblack men because of bad experiences. Often times citing they were mistreated or not accepted by some, so they don’t mess with any. Yet, they have similar experiences with their preference and they don’t write them all off as undesirable. Instead, they chose to be selective to nonblack people who accept them. Why not be selective to your own? Why do we hold each other to a different standard, often higher, than our white counterparts. Even outside of relationships, we treat each other worse than we would others in the same situations. 😞
You are exactly right. I tried to date black men, however it was always an issue go trust. There was also an imbalance within the relationship where in some cases I was providing more of the financial burden rather than an equal disbursement. Also, I believe your environment can potentially have an impact on your availability. I prefer Asian, Latino Italian or Middle Eastern. Another deal breaker is the unsafe practices of our black men in the heightened area of bareback sex. Just not worth the risk to me. That stats are there to support.
Yea. I think from what I've gathered even from dark skinned women who were mistreated by their own people and exclusively date and socialize white....is that microagressions and covert racism feels better than self hatred spewed from your own people. 😢
LITERALLY this. And I always feel like there is a group of people just like that person that are black. I've met them several times over. Now, it might not be as many, and as common, but they are there.
That is a valid point. Now I have also heard Craig and others say that when we are talking about Black standards, we also can't go into what about isms for others. Ultimately, we all have to set up boundaries and standards for ourselves, that affect us individually even if it's not fair.
Todrick Hall is a troubled person and we really should not utilize him as a talking point. He is all over problematic based on the things I've read and heard about him. That being said... I love my fellow black men too, but i am not relegating myself to exclusively dating only black men. The gay world is small enough. Someday i want to get married and settle down. So by expanding my dating pool i feel like I'll have a better chance of that. So i want to love another person regardless of what the packaging looks like.
Planning for the winter is so important. We have to get our wills, health care directives, and power of attorney in place early. We have to have end of life discussions with trusted friends and family early. No one wants drama and dysfunction at the end. Great series!👏🏽
I am a 50 year old brotha married to a black man. If my husband were white, he would still be my husband because I love him so much and he is so perfect for ME. When you’re TRULY ready for love, your “deal breakers” soften into negotiables.
This series should be a weekly topical show especially with the nuances of society and meetings of the minds of all different ages, ideologies and experiences . These convos are so necessary 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Such a great, enlightening and informative conversation. I'm not of the gay community but I appreciate these topics being discussed in such a loving and open way.
As far as interracial relationships, look at it this way: Gay Black men find it difficult to date other Black men, so they “open their minds” to dating a White man. However, how many White men find it difficult to date other White men and, as a result, choose to date a Black man instead? Point is, there is still a latent element of viewing White people as “good” and “safe” when we aren’t finding love within our own environment.
Exactly❤ good also resonates with fantasy. White people don't run to another race because they haven't met a good guy. There is still an issue within our community in us being healthy individuals.
Sometimes it’s not even the pain that keeps you away from Black people it’s the mindset. I’m a black male that picked up skiing and snowboarding. When I tell people of color that I do that the first common I hear is “that’s for whites.” if that’s your mindset, I don’t wanna hang out with you! That’s weird
Bruh I'm a elder millennial and I grew up in the 90s listening to alternative music,shout out stone temple pilots (r.i.p scott weiland) and I got that reaction. Black folk are not a monolith keep doing u
This is an interesting pattern. To be a successful black man in art and entertainment means dating/marrying non-black men. I also hope these men can reach back and bring other gay black men up like TS Madison does.
Dear Craig: I appreciate your leadership and I especially enjoy your authentic contributions to this much needed discourse. If I may offer constructive feedback, perhaps you could defer to the men who are more withdrawn--to have them engage more? A different seating arrangement might help as well; seating and positioning can do wonders for encouraging conversation and connection.
I think we as Black men should explore The Love Languages. This has helped my relationship so much in understanding how my partner needed me to show love.
I love this, I really do. No one on any platform, that I'm aware of, is having these types of conversations (within our community) with the sense of intimacy and comraderie that this platform gives! Craig, you're an awesome facilitator! You're objective, articulate, able to consider all sides and points of view and you have a sense of humor that compliments it all! I appreciate you and everyone in the group. Please keep this going!
6:52 I totally can relate. Sometimes other gay black men can be judgemental. I was told I act white and talk white. I love black men they are beautiful and so smart, but unless you fit a certain design they don't even check for you. So, I gave up and went where I was more appreciated and accepted.
As a DMV dude in his mid 40s & comfortable… I do look towards my race initially. I have in the distant past spent time on the other side. At this point, I’m not 20, heck not 40. I appreciate who appreciates me.
I look forward each week to a new episode. This is such a well executed and well thought out series. It is very relatable and necessary. Kudos, Craig! 😘
I so loom forward to these episodes. At the end of the day, we are more alike than different and experience some of the same issues regarding relationships and love. Thank you to all, who participated in these discussions and sharing ❤
When dating, we can possibly miss connections if we don’t discover the why behind our “want”. For example, you may want someone with a college degree. Ask yourself, why is that important to me? Your answer may be: you want someone who’s financially stable, knows how to communicate and/or has a great job. Guess what? There are people who have all those things, without the degree. But because you didn’t consider why the degree is important, you never got a chance to notice. You see, understanding Black culture is important to me. Because it is, I’ve only dated Black men in the past. My current boyfriend, who is not Black, showed me he didn’t have to be, to understand my culture. That’s how I learned what I’m sharing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something. But try to discover the why behind the want. Doing so may open the dating pool for you.
Craig, I’ve been so intrigued on this particular series. I’m a gay black male open for the most part. I’m degreed (2x’s), HBCU Alum, Fraternal. I say that to say, I’ve black for real….lol However, I’ve only dated black men and have been hurt or played with by black men too. I’ve been single for years and loving it. I am open to love in the future. To that point, I still LOVE black men. I’m hopeful the right one will manifest when it’s time. Agin, great commentary and dialogue from your circle of friends as well. This was SO refreshing and relatable!!
Hey . I loved this Episode and I Respect All of the fellowship of These Guys And Yall Are Amazing. I need More of this because i felt like i was apart of the group.. And Yes meth is a mess I faced it first with a Hispanic friend of Mine, but when you dabbling catches up. Yet I digress , I really appreciate and Needed this Episode.
12:49 That’s what it’s about 🤷🏾♂️💯 I want a genuine connection & if he’s Black, fabulous! If he’s not, cool beans. His genetic makeup is secondary to his character IMHO.
I love this panel Craig. These topics are everything‼️ I’m glad that the men feel comfortable enough to share their truth with us all. I’m heterosexual, but these conversations have me thinking hard as well. I’ve got to tweak a few things in my life for my future. Keep them coming Craig❤️😘
22:52 We gone be friends and I'm gone negotiate me not being in the relationship because we not negotiating seeing other people while in a relationship, you can just be single, and then be my "friend" 😭😭😂😩 If sex is that high on your list in a relationship, we're already not compatible.
This is such a stark contrast to the "Pop the Balloon Challenge" style of dating we’re seeing today. There, you have Black queer men in their 20s trying to match with other singles, but instead, you witness them tearing each other down, often blocking themselves from finding healthy relationships. In some ways, this feels like the aftermath of growth and maturity-having more honest, open conversations about love and dating. What amazes me is how Black queer men, even now, seem to avoid choosing one another. 30:06
Craig, Craig, Craig, I am so in your Telling Our Stories, Black, Gay and Aging. Craig, you have such a brilliant mind. My prayer for you is that God will take you far.
12:08 Come on Craig on mindset! Not just status, career and money, but mindset! The worst people I have had the experience to talk to, just the talking stage, not dating, has been people with the financial and career status. They are the most nastiest attitude people I have ever experienced. Like they have this superior complex energy, pretentious, just like mean girl and snooty. I rather date somebody with a beautiful mindset, then somebody with a socioeconomic status. I think that's one thing that we're missing in relationships is a lot of people based their relationships on aesthetic, but not just aesthetic as far as like physical looks, but also aesthetic in like socioeconomic status. Like oh you're a fit for me because we make the same amount of money and basically we can be a power couple. But, do you actually like that person? How do you sustain a relationship when you all don't have great chemistry and compatibility. Your conversations are still because you're dating somebody only by the standard of aesthetic. That's why I feel like a lot of relationships don't last because people date for aesthetic, and not for the spirit and soul inside the person.
Maybe it’s being 60. Seeing some of the things I’ve seen where race is concerned in the South and what my father and the men I grew up around experienced I need a Black man. It’s nonnegotiable. It’s like a push back against history and evil itself. You need it to heal the questions, the maybes, the what ifs and all the stuff you hear about “Black men ain’t no good” when the people saying it are themselves Black. I need to be loved by a Black man before I leave this earth. And if I don’t get it, I’ll be alone. I am now. It’s killing but it’s the hill I want to die on. I really do appreciate this conversation as inviting and painful as it is.
Thank you Craig, as always 🤗 This was a sad episode 😢. The discussion on dating outside one’s race was discussed on extremes, in hyperbole and binaries strictly within white and black, wealthy and poor, institutionally educated or not. Having conversations in such zero sum models tells me the conversation is disingenuous and logically broken. This thinking erases the nuance of the middle where true partnerships are made. And to be clear, most black men find a white man who is in the middle, not at the heights of the extremes. Why can we accept a white man’s nuance but not our own? Why are we afraid of ourselves? Why are we so terrified of each other? Do we ever stop and think that the ease we feel in relationships outside of our race is due to the racial pressures we’ve internalized having accomplished their purpose? Do we ever wonder if the pressures we feel within our relationships are really due to illusions we’ve projected from external influences? Who said the VP had to date a retail cashier vs a middle manager or gainfully employed worker? Who said a plumber is less gainfully employed or educated than the VP? There was a time, before desegregation, where the lawyer lived next door to the plumber and no one was undignified by it, nuance of character, values and principles colored in and out of the lines society scribbled. These conversations are brilliant because the more they proliferate, the more we can have healing moments that will hopefully guide us to each other. But to end on a binary of white and black was telling because the objective seemed to be a foregone conclusion. I look forward to the day we as black men are able to sit with ourselves without a mask and without running away whether it’s in community like this or in our personal lives. We are so powerful, let’s explore that power, individually and together. If we ever get there, we’d transform this world in the most magical ways. Love you guys! And thank you for your vulnerability! 😘 And to be clear, Don Lemon and his husband are not a good example. They outsource Don’s need for black partnership in Harlem regularly. Many of the men involved in those interracial partnerships do. For them, their partner is an amalgamation of what they couldn’t find in a black man while being an amalgamation of what their white partner couldn’t find in a white man. Not all but I know for a fact about that couple and quite a few others. Don’t let the wallpaper fool you, there’s black mold in them walls. The only reason they’re praised is because of black men’s obsession with status and appearances, not due to their wonderful union.
This conversation was not limited to dating white men outside the race. I mentioned dating a Hispanic guy as did Scott and Torrence. Some of you are stuck there; limiting this conversation to dating white man. Don Lemon was mentioned bc he’s high profile, but even if you don’t agree with the other 2 examples mentioned in this episode there are plenty of other. We always find reason to ridicule a Black gay man for finding love outside of our community and it comes off (to me) as bitter, angry and jaded. As Black as I am all day everyday, if I decided tomorrow to date a white man many of you would be ready to burn me at the stake BEFORE celebrating the fact that I’m happy and that my friend is not ok
@@CraigTheWriterStewart which is fine but I do think that status/proximity to white privilege and access has a lot to do with why black men choose to date white men. I don’t want to be blocked because y’all don’t like rebuttals so I’ll leave it there. I love you Craig 😂
@@CraigTheWriterStewart you’re correct, I should’ve been more specific. I’m referring to the overall narrative and wrap up. I don’t think there’s any issue with dating where you find love. Let’s use this analogy to clear the gap. When we discuss this subject with black women, what’s the complaint? Don’t let hatred or disdain for black women be your reason. I would pirate the same. Because quite often, as a black gay man that has all the things other black gay men say they want, I face unrealistic scrutiny to find an issue to hold up as the banner for why I don’t fit the bill. But quite often, those same people find someone who isn’t all the things to settle in with at the end of the day. And that’s, relationally, sexually etc. I’m not boohooing, just presenting an example of a failing we have when attempting to partner with our own. There’s an opportunity to do better but it requires for our shame and egos to be put to the side to look in the mirror that is each other. Craig, you’re never the example of this because you’re an exceptionally introspective and accountable man. But you are not the standard, you’re the exception. I’m speaking to the prevailing narrative and paradigm of this conversation in our community.
This was great Craig…I’m 29 in Los Angeles and I’m currently going through wanting to be with a black man, but not seeing those faces around me. Thanks for this!
I find myself open to true and honest love. While I deeply desire a connection within my own race, I remain receptive to love wherever it may arise. Love transcends boundaries, and I am ready to embrace it in all its forms. Craig, this episode was excellent-looking forward to the next one!
Loved this conversation. Though, I must admit, I was caught off guard during the discussion about limited dating options for those "moving up the corporate ladder." I have NEVER viewed my co-workers as a potential dating pool. That some of the panelists do is very disturbing. Whether working in the mail room or leading an organization as CEO, you don't **** where you eat without serious consequences. That some don't understand this goes a long way to explain the lack of maturity in dating.
"Ultimately what I am saying and feeling now is... Go where love is, and I think it's time we start punishing people for finding love outside of the Black Community." I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HEAR CRAIG SAY THIS, cause he was on that front line of "punishing" and letting them have it!
Great series definitely needed. The conversation around dating outside your race definitely needs to be had and stop demonizing it that’s really a problem in our community it’s ok to be with someone outside your race doesn’t make your blackness less etc….
I absolutely love Craig. He may not realize it but his UA-cam help so many young guy boys/men. Craig is extremely intelligent and carries himself at a high standard! Craig I am a straight black woman and I wish you were able to have this outlet 20 years ago, you could have saved so many kids that committed suicide because they did not know how to deal with their emotions and feelings. God bless you, Craig and I will follow you to the moon and back just to see you and hear you speak one of your biggest fans.
I hate when I get caught up on a series, now I have to wait for the next episode. This segment touched on a lot of things I've been through or my thought process. ESPECIALLY the insecurities part. 😩 being an introvert, covid didn't affect me as much. The worse thing that happened was my aunt dying in 2020 and the funeral home had a 10 person capacity cap so I wasn't able to see her.
I'm a heterosexual black woman. Truth be told, we are ALL broken. No matter your race. It's all in who you CHOOSE to be with. Like most of the men on the panel, I prefer to stay within my race because it's what I'm attracted to. I don't find yt men attractive because of some early childhood trauma. Again, we are ALL broken. No one is perfect. Craig, I love what you're doing with " Telling our stories. " 💜
This is something that I deal with as a Black man trying to date other Black men... They always lowkey are trying to compete with me. Why can't we support and build up each other.
I hear you. Listen, I’ve been in debate on Twitter with a handful of Black men trying to reimagine what we’re discussing. They’re literally saying that we’re just looking for reasons to date white. Unreal! In complete denial. The truth is we’re saying the SAME THINGS Black women have been saying about dating Black men. We don’t want to hear it. So many Black men just want to be celebrated and coddled
EVERY black, young, gay male needs to be tuned in to this series! Im tearing up as I'm writing this because I understand how informative and lifesaving these conversations will be to the next and upcoming generation of black queer men! These conversations aren't being had in the homes amongst queer black children. So you can only imagine how isolating and confusing some of these lessons had to have been for you guys. If the world and it's many challenges represented the sea, this series represents a life vest.... my godddd I'm bawling. Great work you all! 🫶🏾
Come on analogy ✊🏽❤️
This series is needed for everyone, thank you Craig!!! 🙏❤️
@CraigTheWriterStewart I want to send this to my queer 19 year old son but I don't want him to lash out at me. His first relationship is biracial
@@kcshipp80Just send the series in general, instead of this particular episode!
It's not just young men who need to hear this conversation (and engage in some of their own where they live) but men of all ages. I'm older than all of the participants and what strikes me is how similar the experiences are regardless of age. What I really think is vital to the overall Black gay community is more inter-generational dialogue. BGM of varying ages need to have spaces where we can engage and build community. As several men said on the video, they worry about what will happen as they age, with no spouse or children. WE have the ability to address those issues as a community, if we choose to.
It’s something so powerful about hearing black men affirm their love for black men 🥰
Not Billy Porter and Don love, they love that white PEEN
Great way to start my morning while at work. My friends and I recently had this conversation about the “winter of our lives”. We’re over 40 and don’t want kids. We’re considering buying a brownstone and each person will have a full apartment on each floor. If we leave NYC, we’d buy a few acres of land and build a few houses.
Come on Black Gay golden girls 😅
Loving the dialogue, but something that I find perplexing is how dating outside your race equates to dating white, such a blanket statement. I grew up in California in a racially diverse neighborhood in Los Angeles, and I currently live in NYC. My immediate family is blended, I have a step mother that is Mexican, a step sister that is biracial (Mexican and Samoan), and biracial halfsiblings. Dating outside my race means anyone that does not identify as Black (East/South/South East Asian, Latinos, Pacific Islanders, bi/multiracial folks, etc.), there is a world of people that aren't white or Black. I do think geography plays a part in this perception, as someone noted everyone is from the South except for 2 participants that grew up in the Midwest.
I love seeing black gay men having these conversations honestly and openly!
This is the kind of content i love to see as a young gay black man. Craig you are an amazing example of what aging as a gay black man SHOULD look like. This conversation was lead with love while still having a sense of accountability when it comes to our communities. Well done.
Thank you. I’m glad you get it cause some (in your generation) are pissed lol. They swear I’m pushing a narrative to date white men lol. Idk what they watched. Couldn’t have been this episode lol
I’m so happy to see these men openly share their truth. I’m a married middle aged woman & I grew up in a generation where my gay male friends did not have this luxury. My husband is super cool with my relationship with my gay male friends as well. My best friend recently married his partner of 30 years.❤️❤️. Keep up the great content & conversations guys!!💯💯❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾
Aww. Thank you for reminding me how lucky i am being free as a Gen Z black gay man. Thanks to you and your husband for loving gay folks, being kind and good human beings. May your joy be full!
@@okorochukwunonso2563 Thank you for the great comment. Yes, you are very fortunate to be raised in ur generation. My youngest daughter is in her 20’s & her best friend is a gay black male in his 20’s. He says he LOVES being around my hubby & I bcuz we show him so much love. I even tell him to invite his boyfriend over for bbq’s!! I just want to do my part for the young black & other races’ gay males. I never want you all to experience what my friends experienced back in the 80’s and 90’s. Stay true to yourself sweetheart, there are those like me who will love and cherish you, and also raise our kids to be kind, tolerant, and loving to everyone! ❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️🥰🥰
@okorochukwunonso2563 I'm an elder millennial and I love how you late millennial, Gen z and Gen alpha operate,I know yall get criticized but every generation get criticized but u guys are different more informed,more accepting and I love it and here for it. I try my best to not criticized yall and I'm for yall
This video explained substantially WHY black gay men, especially over 40, are single
And those reasons are very similar to why Black women are too 👉🏽 Black men
@@CraigTheWriterStewart VERY true!
I can agree with that!
Being almost 41 and hearing some of these stories definitely is a great thing and eye opener for me. The end discussion regarding having no kids and feeling the need to get close to nieces and nephews hit home.
CRAIG!! TELLING OUR
STORIES IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER ❤❤❤LOVE IT!!
I think it’s interesting that black men who date exclusively nonblack men because of bad experiences. Often times citing they were mistreated or not accepted by some, so they don’t mess with any. Yet, they have similar experiences with their preference and they don’t write them all off as undesirable. Instead, they chose to be selective to nonblack people who accept them. Why not be selective to your own? Why do we hold each other to a different standard, often higher, than our white counterparts. Even outside of relationships, we treat each other worse than we would others in the same situations. 😞
You are exactly right. I tried to date black men, however it was always an issue go trust. There was also an imbalance within the relationship where in some cases I was providing more of the financial burden rather than an equal disbursement. Also, I believe your environment can potentially have an impact on your availability. I prefer Asian, Latino Italian or Middle Eastern. Another deal breaker is the unsafe practices of our black men in the heightened area of bareback sex. Just not worth the risk to me. That stats are there to support.
Yea. I think from what I've gathered even from dark skinned women who were mistreated by their own people and exclusively date and socialize white....is that microagressions and covert racism feels better than self hatred spewed from your own people. 😢
LITERALLY this.
And I always feel like there is a group of people just like that person that are black. I've met them several times over. Now, it might not be as many, and as common, but they are there.
I agree with you. I just got off the phone with someone and I said this
That is a valid point. Now I have also heard Craig and others say that when we are talking about Black standards, we also can't go into what about isms for others. Ultimately, we all have to set up boundaries and standards for ourselves, that affect us individually even if it's not fair.
Todrick Hall is a troubled person and we really should not utilize him as a talking point. He is all over problematic based on the things I've read and heard about him.
That being said...
I love my fellow black men too, but i am not relegating myself to exclusively dating only black men. The gay world is small enough. Someday i want to get married and settle down. So by expanding my dating pool i feel like I'll have a better chance of that. So i want to love another person regardless of what the packaging looks like.
Planning for the winter is so important. We have to get our wills, health care directives, and power of attorney in place early. We have to have end of life discussions with trusted friends and family early. No one wants drama and dysfunction at the end. Great series!👏🏽
These discussions are so important. Thank you for these episodes!
Thank you! Please watch the previous seasons 👌🏽
This needs to be spread more for the black gay community.
I am a 50 year old brotha married to a black man. If my husband were white, he would still be my husband because I love him so much and he is so perfect for ME. When you’re TRULY ready for love, your “deal breakers” soften into negotiables.
Can I just say I love Calvin! Omg he’s a whole experience! 😍 and really appreciate this series
Craig you have outdone yourself, i love this season the most the conversation is so free flowing ! 🔥
*smiling* Thank you so much
This series should be a weekly topical show especially with the nuances of society and meetings of the minds of all different ages, ideologies and experiences . These convos are so necessary 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Such a great, enlightening and informative conversation. I'm not of the gay community but I appreciate these topics being discussed in such a loving and open way.
As far as interracial relationships, look at it this way:
Gay Black men find it difficult to date other Black men, so they “open their minds” to dating a White man. However, how many White men find it difficult to date other White men and, as a result, choose to date a Black man instead?
Point is, there is still a latent element of viewing White people as “good” and “safe” when we aren’t finding love within our own environment.
Glad you see it. ❤❤❤
Exactly❤ good also resonates with fantasy. White people don't run to another race because they haven't met a good guy. There is still an issue within our community in us being healthy individuals.
Is it simply “viewing” or is it the truth? I see tons of successful gay white men together in art and entertainment; two black men, never.
Fantastic group of gentlemen thanks for sharing looking forward to more thanks
Sometimes it’s not even the pain that keeps you away from Black people it’s the mindset. I’m a black male that picked up skiing and snowboarding. When I tell people of color that I do that the first common I hear is “that’s for whites.” if that’s your mindset, I don’t wanna hang out with you! That’s weird
Bruh I'm a elder millennial and I grew up in the 90s listening to alternative music,shout out stone temple pilots (r.i.p scott weiland) and I got that reaction. Black folk are not a monolith keep doing u
@@ericcollins8794exactly, sometimes you gotta be in an area where you can easily find your people. Major cities got all types of black people.
WOW CRAIG!!!! Just wow. Finding love outside the black community. No words.
This is an interesting pattern. To be a successful black man in art and entertainment means dating/marrying non-black men. I also hope these men can reach back and bring other gay black men up like TS Madison does.
This was a very good conversation Craig. Definitely looking forward to the next episode
Dear Craig: I appreciate your leadership and I especially enjoy your authentic contributions to this much needed discourse. If I may offer constructive feedback, perhaps you could defer to the men who are more withdrawn--to have them engage more? A different seating arrangement might help as well; seating and positioning can do wonders for encouraging conversation and connection.
I just love how they all said it is ok to LOVE who you love🤎🩵💜🥰 please Craig can you make it longer. Love you all.❤❤
I think we as Black men should explore The Love Languages. This has helped my relationship so much in understanding how my partner needed me to show love.
I love this, I really do. No one on any platform, that I'm aware of, is having these types of conversations (within our community) with the sense of intimacy and comraderie that this platform gives! Craig, you're an awesome facilitator! You're objective, articulate, able to consider all sides and points of view and you have a sense of humor that compliments it all! I appreciate you and everyone in the group. Please keep this going!
Thank you so much. I hope you’ll check out seasons 1 & 2 👌🏽
6:52 I totally can relate. Sometimes other gay black men can be judgemental. I was told I act white and talk white. I love black men they are beautiful and so smart, but unless you fit a certain design they don't even check for you. So, I gave up and went where I was more appreciated and accepted.
This is extremely dope 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
As a DMV dude in his mid 40s & comfortable… I do look towards my race initially. I have in the distant past spent time on the other side. At this point, I’m not 20, heck not 40. I appreciate who appreciates me.
CRAIG THIS SERIES/IDEA IS GOOD AND VERY MUCH NEEDED 💙💙✊🏽lets stay on this path
I look forward each week to a new episode. This is such a well executed and well thought out series. It is very relatable and necessary. Kudos, Craig! 😘
Thank you so much!
I've enjoyed every episode. Keep educating!
I’ll definitely be supporting you guys❤
I so loom forward to these episodes. At the end of the day, we are more alike than different and experience some of the same issues regarding relationships and love.
Thank you to all, who participated in these discussions and sharing ❤
So true!
When dating, we can possibly miss connections if we don’t discover the why behind our “want”. For example, you may want someone with a college degree. Ask yourself, why is that important to me? Your answer may be: you want someone who’s financially stable, knows how to communicate and/or has a great job. Guess what? There are people who have all those things, without the degree. But because you didn’t consider why the degree is important, you never got a chance to notice.
You see, understanding Black culture is important to me. Because it is, I’ve only dated Black men in the past. My current boyfriend, who is not Black, showed me he didn’t have to be, to understand my culture. That’s how I learned what I’m sharing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something. But try to discover the why behind the want. Doing so may open the dating pool for you.
“People need people “‼️- Craig 🤗🥰 - that’s a word
This was good to watch like good for the soul! The dialogue and connection y’all have is amazing
Congratulations Craig, great conversation ❤❤❤
Craig, I’ve been so intrigued on this particular series. I’m a gay black male open for the most part. I’m degreed (2x’s), HBCU Alum, Fraternal. I say that to say, I’ve black for real….lol
However, I’ve only dated black men and have been hurt or played with by black men too. I’ve been single for years and loving it.
I am open to love in the future. To that point, I still LOVE black men. I’m hopeful the right one will manifest when it’s time. Agin, great commentary and dialogue from your circle of friends as well. This was SO refreshing and relatable!!
Awesome episode! I hope every one of you guys find BLACK LOVE. 🖤
The episode was great. I love the progression of the conversation
Hey . I loved this Episode and I Respect All of the fellowship of These Guys And Yall Are Amazing. I need More of this because i felt like i was apart of the group.. And Yes meth is a mess I faced it first with a Hispanic friend of Mine, but when you dabbling catches up. Yet I digress , I really appreciate and Needed this Episode.
I'm so happy you're getting views. I love your channel and remember when you talked about doing this series. Now we gone need "Outspoken" to air‼
12:49 That’s what it’s about 🤷🏾♂️💯 I want a genuine connection & if he’s Black, fabulous! If he’s not, cool beans. His genetic makeup is secondary to his character IMHO.
I love this. Empowering conversation for the Black queer generations. ❤ well done brothers!!
I’m learning so much ! This show is great, can’t wait for the next episode
This was sooooo edifying!!!! I’m at work right now, so I’ll be back later, but this is NECESSARY!!!!!!
I have truly been enjoying this series. Truly enjoyed hearing Craig's shift in his views of interracial dating.
This series is needed for everyone thank you Craig!!! 🙏💗
I love this panel Craig. These topics are everything‼️ I’m glad that the men feel comfortable enough to share their truth with us all. I’m heterosexual, but these conversations have me thinking hard as well. I’ve got to tweak a few things in my life for my future. Keep them coming Craig❤️😘
22:52 We gone be friends and I'm gone negotiate me not being in the relationship because we not negotiating seeing other people while in a relationship, you can just be single, and then be my "friend" 😭😭😂😩
If sex is that high on your list in a relationship, we're already not compatible.
I love this Craig, u got something here!❤
Love these conversations! 😊
Glad you like them!
This a fantastic conversation 👏🏾👏🏾
Please be sure to watch the previous episodes AND seasons 👌🏽
Man, these are really good conversations.
This is such a stark contrast to the "Pop the Balloon Challenge" style of dating we’re seeing today. There, you have Black queer men in their 20s trying to match with other singles, but instead, you witness them tearing each other down, often blocking themselves from finding healthy relationships. In some ways, this feels like the aftermath of growth and maturity-having more honest, open conversations about love and dating. What amazes me is how Black queer men, even now, seem to avoid choosing one another. 30:06
Craig, Craig, Craig, I am so in your Telling Our Stories, Black, Gay and Aging. Craig, you have such a brilliant mind. My prayer for you is that God will take you far.
Thank you man ❤️
Nice looking forward to the next episode.
More to come!
12:08 Come on Craig on mindset! Not just status, career and money, but mindset!
The worst people I have had the experience to talk to, just the talking stage, not dating, has been people with the financial and career status. They are the most nastiest attitude people I have ever experienced. Like they have this superior complex energy, pretentious, just like mean girl and snooty. I rather date somebody with a beautiful mindset, then somebody with a socioeconomic status. I think that's one thing that we're missing in relationships is a lot of people based their relationships on aesthetic, but not just aesthetic as far as like physical looks, but also aesthetic in like socioeconomic status. Like oh you're a fit for me because we make the same amount of money and basically we can be a power couple. But, do you actually like that person? How do you sustain a relationship when you all don't have great chemistry and compatibility. Your conversations are still because you're dating somebody only by the standard of aesthetic. That's why I feel like a lot of relationships don't last because people date for aesthetic, and not for the spirit and soul inside the person.
Maybe it’s being 60. Seeing some of the things I’ve seen where race is concerned in the South and what my father and the men I grew up around experienced I need a Black man. It’s nonnegotiable. It’s like a push back against history and evil itself. You need it to heal the questions, the maybes, the what ifs and all the stuff you hear about “Black men ain’t no good” when the people saying it are themselves Black. I need to be loved by a Black man before I leave this earth. And if I don’t get it, I’ll be alone. I am now. It’s killing but it’s the hill I want to die on. I really do appreciate this conversation as inviting and painful as it is.
Long term care insurance, critical illness insurance, and life insurance (including funeral policy ) are equally so important for the 40+ .
Thank you Craig, as always 🤗
This was a sad episode 😢. The discussion on dating outside one’s race was discussed on extremes, in hyperbole and binaries strictly within white and black, wealthy and poor, institutionally educated or not. Having conversations in such zero sum models tells me the conversation is disingenuous and logically broken. This thinking erases the nuance of the middle where true partnerships are made. And to be clear, most black men find a white man who is in the middle, not at the heights of the extremes. Why can we accept a white man’s nuance but not our own? Why are we afraid of ourselves? Why are we so terrified of each other? Do we ever stop and think that the ease we feel in relationships outside of our race is due to the racial pressures we’ve internalized having accomplished their purpose? Do we ever wonder if the pressures we feel within our relationships are really due to illusions we’ve projected from external influences? Who said the VP had to date a retail cashier vs a middle manager or gainfully employed worker? Who said a plumber is less gainfully employed or educated than the VP? There was a time, before desegregation, where the lawyer lived next door to the plumber and no one was undignified by it, nuance of character, values and principles colored in and out of the lines society scribbled. These conversations are brilliant because the more they proliferate, the more we can have healing moments that will hopefully guide us to each other. But to end on a binary of white and black was telling because the objective seemed to be a foregone conclusion. I look forward to the day we as black men are able to sit with ourselves without a mask and without running away whether it’s in community like this or in our personal lives. We are so powerful, let’s explore that power, individually and together. If we ever get there, we’d transform this world in the most magical ways.
Love you guys! And thank you for your vulnerability! 😘
And to be clear, Don Lemon and his husband are not a good example. They outsource Don’s need for black partnership in Harlem regularly. Many of the men involved in those interracial partnerships do. For them, their partner is an amalgamation of what they couldn’t find in a black man while being an amalgamation of what their white partner couldn’t find in a white man. Not all but I know for a fact about that couple and quite a few others. Don’t let the wallpaper fool you, there’s black mold in them walls. The only reason they’re praised is because of black men’s obsession with status and appearances, not due to their wonderful union.
Thank for this comment! I don’t think he understood where I was going but this encapsulates it a lot better
I understood. I didn’t agree
This conversation was not limited to dating white men outside the race. I mentioned dating a Hispanic guy as did Scott and Torrence. Some of you are stuck there; limiting this conversation to dating white man. Don Lemon was mentioned bc he’s high profile, but even if you don’t agree with the other 2 examples mentioned in this episode there are plenty of other. We always find reason to ridicule a Black gay man for finding love outside of our community and it comes off (to me) as bitter, angry and jaded. As Black as I am all day everyday, if I decided tomorrow to date a white man many of you would be ready to burn me at the stake BEFORE celebrating the fact that I’m happy and that my friend is not ok
@@CraigTheWriterStewart which is fine but I do think that status/proximity to white privilege and access has a lot to do with why black men choose to date white men. I don’t want to be blocked because y’all don’t like rebuttals so I’ll leave it there. I love you Craig 😂
@@CraigTheWriterStewart you’re correct, I should’ve been more specific. I’m referring to the overall narrative and wrap up.
I don’t think there’s any issue with dating where you find love. Let’s use this analogy to clear the gap. When we discuss this subject with black women, what’s the complaint? Don’t let hatred or disdain for black women be your reason. I would pirate the same. Because quite often, as a black gay man that has all the things other black gay men say they want, I face unrealistic scrutiny to find an issue to hold up as the banner for why I don’t fit the bill. But quite often, those same people find someone who isn’t all the things to settle in with at the end of the day. And that’s, relationally, sexually etc. I’m not boohooing, just presenting an example of a failing we have when attempting to partner with our own. There’s an opportunity to do better but it requires for our shame and egos to be put to the side to look in the mirror that is each other.
Craig, you’re never the example of this because you’re an exceptionally introspective and accountable man. But you are not the standard, you’re the exception. I’m speaking to the prevailing narrative and paradigm of this conversation in our community.
This was great Craig…I’m 29 in Los Angeles and I’m currently going through wanting to be with a black man, but not seeing those faces around me. Thanks for this!
Thank you for this wonderful conversation.
Thanks for listening
I find myself open to true and honest love. While I deeply desire a connection within my own race, I remain receptive to love wherever it may arise. Love transcends boundaries, and I am ready to embrace it in all its forms. Craig, this episode was excellent-looking forward to the next one!
Loved this conversation. Though, I must admit, I was caught off guard during the discussion about limited dating options for those "moving up the corporate ladder." I have NEVER viewed my co-workers as a potential dating pool. That some of the panelists do is very disturbing. Whether working in the mail room or leading an organization as CEO, you don't **** where you eat without serious consequences. That some don't understand this goes a long way to explain the lack of maturity in dating.
This is my first episode and I loved it. Keep doing the episodes. ❤❤❤❤
"Ultimately what I am saying and feeling now is... Go where love is, and I think it's time we start punishing people for finding love outside of the Black Community." I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HEAR CRAIG SAY THIS, cause he was on that front line of "punishing" and letting them have it!
Growth. Evolution. I’m always gonna grow. ALWAYS
@@CraigTheWriterStewartalways appreciated
I think this is my favorite one. Because black aging women have these issues as well.
Great conversation
I loved this series! Can’t wait for more! ❤
The conversation about getting older is a real one.
I love these conversations!!! ❤ (Hey Marvin)
Great series definitely needed. The conversation around dating outside your race definitely needs to be had and stop demonizing it that’s really a problem in our community it’s ok to be with someone outside your race doesn’t make your blackness less etc….
I'm 13 years relationship. I saw my parents together for 45 years so, I don't know any other way.
It's hard finding black men of a certain age who had good relationship role models. Saddening actually
Great episode.
I absolutely love Craig. He may not realize it but his UA-cam help so many young guy boys/men. Craig is extremely intelligent and carries himself at a high standard! Craig I am a straight black woman and I wish you were able to have this outlet 20 years ago, you could have saved so many kids that committed suicide because they did not know how to deal with their emotions and feelings. God bless you, Craig and I will follow you to the moon and back just to see you and hear you speak one of your biggest fans.
Wow. Thank you. I’m glad I saw your comment. It made my heart smile ❤️
Nailed it. Once again ❤
I believe "LOVE IS LOVE " Life is what you make of it .....!!!! I will say be a Skittle taste the Rainbow!!! ...Remember the FLAG .....Yass !!!!!
Another great episode!
What you said about being sick of the gaming industry being anti-consumer is such a bar.
Todricks excuse is still inadequate
Loving the series.... can we a live recap this week
I hate when I get caught up on a series, now I have to wait for the next episode. This segment touched on a lot of things I've been through or my thought process. ESPECIALLY the insecurities part. 😩 being an introvert, covid didn't affect me as much. The worse thing that happened was my aunt dying in 2020 and the funeral home had a 10 person capacity cap so I wasn't able to see her.
❤️
I love this so much!!❤❤
I'm a heterosexual black woman. Truth be told, we are ALL broken. No matter your race. It's all in who you CHOOSE to be with. Like most of the men on the panel, I prefer to stay within my race because it's what I'm attracted to. I don't find yt men attractive because of some early childhood trauma. Again, we are ALL broken. No one is perfect. Craig, I love what you're doing with " Telling our stories. " 💜
Torrance knows he’s fine 😋
Wonderful ❤️
Craig is funny! He’s in the room now yassssssss! Hahaah.! Yes he is!
🤣😅
This is something that I deal with as a Black man trying to date other Black men... They always lowkey are trying to compete with me. Why can't we support and build up each other.
I hear you. Listen, I’ve been in debate on Twitter with a handful of Black men trying to reimagine what we’re discussing. They’re literally saying that we’re just looking for reasons to date white. Unreal! In complete denial. The truth is we’re saying the SAME THINGS Black women have been saying about dating Black men. We don’t want to hear it. So many Black men just want to be celebrated and coddled
Craig ❤ I love you but don't make me wait until next week for the next episode. You can send it to me❤
😂
This was my fav episode of the season thus far 40:40
Wow this was an interesting conversation 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
🍿🚬🍹This is soooo good.
WELL DONE!!!!!
Preferences are often unconscious and play out in selection.