Whether or not OP's husband could afford to buy a new coat is irrelevant. It's the principal. Her niece purposely and maliciously destroyed another person's property. She should absolutely be held accountable. If she'd done this to a stranger, she'd definitely be held accountable. OP isn't being petty at all. Her property was destroyed. NTA.
Agreed! The consequences listed in the update were appropriate. Glad OP’s husband and BIL figured it out. Niece needs to feel the consequence of her choice for a long time so she learns not to do something so stupid and selfish again.
I mean it’s not like she (Catwoman lol) actually used that as a point after hearing the entire story. They went straight to principal the rest of the time.
In the 1st story the husband said he thought she was dead and was having nightmares so why was his fist reaction to take her for granted! He could have lost her and their unborn baby and his reaction was to lash out at her and expect her to clean and take care of your brother’s family who destroyed your house right after she got out of the hospital?!
yeah his excuse makes absolutely no sense, i feel like he’s just scrambling to come up with something but i think it’s really only because his MIL and Mom both saw how awful he treats her and he got put out.
@@lucycarlisle9120 No matter how old you are, everyone isn't able to fully grasp everything. Especially if they don't experience it firsthand. He's showing his maturity by listening to correction, accepting his fault, and offering a apology.
As someone that was nearly trafficked irl as a child, and was only stopped by sheer luck, I totally understand the sheer terror of looking back and going. Oh fuck. that could have been me. I was still trafficked for csem online, and a victim of csa, but it could have been horrifically worse. And the way the people tried to get me was by getting the kids who were being trafficked to come up to me, and be friendly, then taking me to talk to the adults who were running it. It wasn't a scary man in a van, it was other traumatized kids.
To story #2 as a mom I'm still trying to figure out how to instill that "stranger danger" sense into my kid. However the more I look into it, the less it's about strange people and the more we need to emphasize looking out for strange BEHAVIOUR. As Heather proved anyone can be, or enable a predator.
There's an exhibit put together by survivors of assault called what I was wearing and it shows a full spectrum of modesty to immodesty I grew up in family room. I was highly encouraged to dress modestly psychologically. It was not very healthy birthday because from a very young age I was constantly paranoid about predators. And it did not protect me from being preyed upon. I think that as a society we need to do is put more pressure on the people with the problem.
No but the wife's family in the first one are such MVPs and I love that the husband's family called their mom for help and she switched to the wife's side when she saw it. That MIL knows that a good relationship with your daughter in law is how you keep getting to see your grandkids after the divorce 😂
Coat story: 100% the kid deserves to be taken to court. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean the kid doesn’t need to learn the lesson that they can’t destroy other people’s shit without consequences. She’s damn lucky she’s not having charges pressed for assault (which is what would happen if you did that to a stranger).
I feel like it's important to let kids know the effects their outfits can have on predators, but ultimately it's the creeps fault, not the child. And some of that goes into purity culture mentality that just hurts people's development.
yeah, the pressure from parents can easily get worse than the pressure from society. So i think the way would be to ask the child to make changes in their style more slowly so they will have time to test the waters and emotionally adjust to how people perceive it. Also, take a change of clothes with them in case they suddenly feel uncomfortable.
The first story is actually scary because that’s how he reacts under pressure and with the uncertainty of his wife’s health…I wish her well because I couldn’t trust him again and now I know he won’t protect me at my most vulnerable
And how is the father thinking the older son will be able to survive if he cripples his financial and career development? How will the youngest son survive after the parents pass if neither of the sons have any financial stability?
as a mixed person and big fan of Trevor Noah's book (born a crime), its so nice hearing you guys validate the feelings I've felt for so long but didn't have the confidence to articulate... i never realized I experienced such a similar thing 2 yes ago until another mixed girl called us "twins" just because we had curly hair and tan skin, after telling me the same man invited us to a party when she asked who invited me and my friend... anyways love the content keep it up!
Speaking of books & relating to another part of their discussion on this story, being an English major in the South was interesting. It is definitely awkward sometimes having discussions in classes of mixed races, because certain words are off-limits to certain people. We're actually studying words, but we can't use some of the words central to the discussion. Or alternatively, some people will use the excuse of "classroom assignment" in order to use certain sensitive words, especially when those words are used way more than necessary. It's super awkward picking someone out of the class to say words because they are of the race or group the word refers to, because then they can feel typecasted or picked out of the crowd for reasons they can't control, but talking about the "Bad N-word" or 'Sympathetic White" stock characters in an American Lit class is a discussion that we're going to have. It's VERY delicate to conduct these classes in a respectful way, because in a group of 30 students and a prof, there are 31 different perspectives, even if many of those people have skin tones in common. I had a whole disclaimer prepared before I presented one one my Southern Lit heroes, Ernest Gaines. He writes very fairly about race relations, but talking about the "story behind the story" can get heavy in a hurry.
The one about the mom moving the son, I got all sorts of triggered LOL. I was also raised as a caretaker for my disabled younger brother and while most of the time I didn’t mind, there were certainly times when I needed my own space. Only for teachers, my parents and my brother to expect me to fall into this role. I greatly applaud the mom for helping her son get freedom and am livid at the father for putting that responsibility on his other kid. Siblings should not be forced to be caregivers.
Tbh those kids were not abused bc of their outfits. No matter how conservatively you dress there are creeps who will sexualize; it may reduce it with peers though.
Those kids weren't abused because of their outfits they were abused because of perverted abusive adults exploiting their inexperience and vulnerability.
Definitely, 100% agree. The only thing I would add is that sometimes children want to feel/look more mature and that’s when I would intervene. Almost everyone has had that feeling and you want to dress more mature, so I would try my nieces/little cousins don’t rush it and dress according to their ages. But, yeah, going back to the topic, there’s not the kids’ fault they are being sexualized by disgusting predators.
Creepy GF story: I am a black with a currently majority white friend group, and I would not like to be in that situation either. It would be different if I was approached as a person first not being interrogated about a piece of my identity. Or like when I'm interrogated about my blackness by other black people who only see my white friends/husband now and don't know I grew up with no other race around me but black people.
Just a thought for why the MIL might have been “accidentally” walking in on her-what if the husband told his mom what a “silly” phobia his wife had about locked doors, and the mom was like, “Oh, I’ll take care of that!” (Thinking that she would teach her a lesson and that her son’s wife would get over it real quick if someone kept barging in on her going to the bathroom. ) That might also be why the husband wasn’t sticking up for the wife, he found her phobia annoying and was fine with the mom doing what she was doing. Just throwing that idea out there!
S1: NTA and the husband is so FOS. so his excuse is he found his wife unconscious and thought she might be dead so instead of that leading him to want to pamper her and make sure she’s okay and healing when she gets home he chooses to move his messy brother, crazy SIL and loud kids into their home without telling her, doesn’t pick her up from the hospital, doesn’t clean up after his atrocious guests, doesn’t tell his guests to be quiet and then berates his wife that he was oh so concerned about that he has nightmares about cleaning up after guests she was never consulted in? GMAB! the way i would have already filed for divorce on this poor excuse for a man the day after my mom and brothers gathered those folks out my house. OP needs to leave this man in the dust, do not pass GO or Parkplace, just directly to the lawyer’s office.
Am I the only one who thought Sam's mask had built is plastic lenses until he moved it to his forehead? Lol it was his glasses the whole time! Plus it isn't a hard plastic molded mask.
I’m only the first story in, but DAMN. I for sure would’ve called my mama and the mom was smart for bringing her brothers for support. In that situation I would’ve called his mama too. I’m tellin’ everybody!!
The guy with the evicted brothers fam…. I think once he realized everyone had his wife’s back is when he decided to change his tune which is very problematic he should’ve had her best interest at heart from the get.
I’m now remembering when I was like twelve I told my mom I wanted to play with my new friend, and for the first time she was super diligent about exactly WHO I was playing Roblox with since I also knew her from school. She said she “wanted to make sure her family shared our values.” Guess what was going on around that time?
1:00:14 "I don't think she's the asshole, but I think she's being real petty about it." I couldn't have said that any better, but the fact still remains that her niece purposefully ruined a *_$20,000 coat,_* and posted it on the internet! I don't care what nobody says, there still needs to be consequences! ETA: now that's what I call retribution! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 She definitely had to lose her car for a shitty prank like that!
16:35 I hate that her parents were that strict, but I do very much appreciate the fact that they taught her stranger danger. My mama taught me from an early age.
Lmao my sister told the whole family her bf cheated on her and then was shocked we didn’t just love him when they eloped and he had two women pregnant🤮
I remember being in my high school history class, during black history month. We were watching a documentary about slavery and segregation. There was a segment where they were talking about lynching and this white kid behind me whispered “Ahhh, the good old days” it was the wildest thing all I could say was “WTF DID YOU JUST SAY” and he was so shocked that I even heard him. SMH 😂
the story about the girl and her friend was actually terrifying, and it’s crazy for think that my generation has normalized kids dressing older than they actually are, the amount of 14 year olds i see wearing body con dresses or Booty shorts and barely covering crop tops is outrageous. At 14 I would NEVER wear that and that was only 5 years ago for me. And I also hate how this generation acts like kids aren’t trying to be older than they are, you shouldn’t be wearing makeup that makes you look like a legal adult at 14 years old. That’s weird asf to me. I’m glad that girl got away from her “friend” before something bad happened. Cause yeah I get that it’s “not bc of what they wear” but in this generation it kind of is cause kids aren’t dressing like KIDS. They dress like adults and it’s creepy, I’ve seen multiple 13 year olds who look older than me and I’m about to be 20.
Just because you see it as weird doesn't mean it is. Like every gen had clothes that was "wrong" but the most rapes are by people closest to you. Which means they most likely see you in pajamas and sweats and whatever.
Nahhh there was so much perverted shit going on before outfits were involved. Even if someone doesn't look their age you have to be either perverted or extremely negligent to allow something to happen. Also it's not really a child's fault that they feel pressured to act above their age. This comment is so weirdly moralising of the choices of children.
Outfits have barely anything to do with SA. There is an exhibition called "What were you wearing?" its hard to stomach, but they show the outfits that people wore while they were sa'ed. Its not "booty shorts" its summer dresses, pajamas, Hijabs or, in the worst cases, diapers. Tbh "looking older" may even deter a certain kind of creep, as scary as that may sound. (And tbh every Generation dresses like that and every Generation judges. Im five years older then you and thirteen year olds already dressed like that when i was thirteen.)
The Epstein story reminded me of today when I was sitting alone at the cafe of our local grocery store, and there were 3 young girls maybe around 14 years old. One of the girls wanted the others to come with her to meet some guy. I couldn’t hear everything they were saying, but her friends didn’t really wanna go with her. She was trying to persuade them to go with her, while her friends at the same time were trying to talk her out of it. Then she jokingly said to her friends “it’s not like he’s gonna kidnapp us in his van or something. We’ll just stand outside of his car and talk a while”. In the end her friends went along with it and they left together to meet some guy with a van that they didn’t really know. You can never know what your kids are up to nowadays. When I was young you could not meet strange van guys from the internet but now it’s almost way too easy. At least her friends went with her and I guess it would be harder for him to kidnapp 3 girls at the same time. 🤷🏼♀️ As I said I didn’t hear the whole conversation, and I don’t want to automatically assume that it’s a creepy guy they found on the internet or something. But that’s my assumption anyway.
1:20:05 Put up a sign that says "Please Knock" with pretty font. After apologizing, have a conversation about the trauma with MIL, explain that if the door is closed, then please knock. There will be a sign to enforce it. Wait until after she leaves to place it. If hubby gets angry after that, maybe there needs to be some kind of therapy, but knocking is common courtesy. True, the lock can help, but leaving the door unlocked can be helpful in other situations. If you keep having problems, it's a red flag. We all have problems. Let's find solutions.
31:38 I remember watching the Epstein documentary and feeling so conflicted about the recruiter victims. Like on one hand, I’d want to encourage my future kid to befriend the loner kids, but that is LITERALLY the kid who was putting others in danger by recruiting them. It’s so hard trying to imagine the best way to protect them, allow them to enjoy their childhood, and teach them how to be a good human.
i know that it’s called the comfort level podcast for a reason 😂 but this podcast is so chill that i listen to it in bed to help me sleep 🤣 it’s the most relaxing reddit aita podcast i’ve listened to so far and i listen to *a lot* lmao i wonder if you guys would be willing to venture into other subreddits like TIFU (today i effed up); am i the devil (like aita but supervillain level evil LOL); let’s not meet (this is a very interesting one as it’s about people who have had creepy / chilling encounters (i remember one person claimed they were almost a victim of prolific serial killer ted bundy 😱) but yeah, very interesting!!!) anyway, thanks for the laughs and i *love* when sadia joins, they’re my favourite episodes! much love, aria ❤ edit: i wrote this before watching and i just saw “i could have been one of epstein’s victim’s” in the tagline haha 😂 but check out ‘let’s not meet’ hehe ☺️
28:40 I don’t agree with the fact that some people don’t think young adults are “grown” not all of us went to college and are still in school, not all of us live at home, I immediately moved out and across the country at 18, responsible for my own bills, my own life ect ect, i even had to lend money back home. Those types of people think all young adults are college students, that’s where I agree most of them are kids who’ve had no real world experience, but not everyone has had that privilege to stay a child as an adult
I think if someone likes kids; the kid dressing more adult doesn't make the predator more attracted to the kid probably the opposite in reality. I think no matter what there's going to be bad people how you dress doesn't change that so putting the blame on anyone's outfit is just victim blamey.
She was told to "look innocent" anyway. Girls were probably showing up with pigtails and clothes from when they were 8-10. But that's what sucks. Pervs will like "grown up" clothing because it lets them see more while telling themselves it's ok because "they're mature." And they'll like kid's clothing because it's what they actually want.
24:10 I resonate with this so much. I’m at the age where I’m seriously thinking about kids and I’m terrified of all the dangers out there that I have no way of protecting them from. God especially with the internet, like what can you do to stop all the creeps, all the peer pressure, just everything!
Man, I have two grown kids, and I’m a reasonably good mom. But honestly, the number of times my kids narrowly escaped a horrible fate (that I know of) makes my blood run cold. And I know that there are even more things that I don’t even know about. That’s why, when someone’s kid falls into the gorilla pit at the zoo, I never ask, “Where was the mother?!” It could just as easily have been my kid. Watch your kids, teach your kids, and pray over your kids because they need it.
Talking about reading in a book that has the N-word in it. I got in a full on fight on my 30th birthday, because a childhood friend was so obsessed with trying to say it's okay if it's in historical literature. (We are both white as fuck) Needless to say, not friends with him anymore. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years.
The main thing I'm really worried about with the story of the dad preventing the son from applying for jobs (aside from the points already mentioned) is how he worded the emails and whether he just screwed his son's chances of ever getting employment from those businesses. I don't know how it works on the employer's side, but I imagine it might discourage them from considering his application the next time he applies for a position in those same companies.
The other day my little sister (15) posted a TikTok and me being nosey looked in her comments to see who her friends were and the amount of little girls dressed in next to nothing floored me. I had to stop because I was so upset. Girls with 15 clearly posted in their bio posting thirst traps in short skirts and small shirts with all their bits out getting hundreds of followers who are all older men. The saddest thing is that they don’t realize how dangerous it is and when you try to tell them they always say “your just jealous because your old” 😂 im 22 or “everyone dresses like this” not realizing that the every one they’re talking about is an adult or an influencer.
Really glad the family and M.I.L of girl in the first story all had her back. Her husband us the AH, moving ppl into ther home without speaking to her first, I hile she was pregnant, sick, and hit her head? TF and S.I.L refusing to come out of the room at all tells me she might well be the reason for the eviction in the first place.
Bro, I had to go hug my mom after the Ebstein moment because my mom scared alot like ops mom, but it kept me from going into situations where I could have very much died, being SA again, or yata yata. And its a scary to think if she didn't scare me as much I would have done smth dumb dumb 😅
I feel like her calling her race irrelevant speaks volumes as to what the real issue of race being brought up is. I wonder if it really is coming as often as she's saying or if every time the topic comes up it makes her uncomfortable in general. I understand what the group is saying about black not being enough to bond with someone, however I do think OP isn't comfortable with being black as much as she is being white. I think OP isn't comfortable interacting with someone who is openly projecting their blackness. The girl is probably trying to be reassuring in ways a lot of poc aren't in white friend groups. Saying she doesn't have to straighten her something a lot black girls did to conform with their white counterparts. I think it's a better question to ask what about blackness is making her so uncomfortable. I'm sure her other friends have asked just as invasive questions because to be honest these aren't abnormal questions. I think the other friend was starting to see why she hasn't had any other black friends.
What you did here is exactly her point. Why does she have to perform a theatrical ballad about being black and white? She doesn't have to be uncomfortable with her blackness nor her whiteness. I realize that for a lot of people, the idea of race is very either or. But there's a completely valid and unapologetic middle which itself isn't a middle but a whole (not)new race. And when you're in that "middle", to constantly be asked to live and "be comfortable" with something you're not isn't fun. The acknowledgment of your difference isn't a shunning of someone else's difference. It's other people who try to convince you that your difference is an issue. She just doesn't want to be a poster child of an issue she doesn't relate with(i.e. A mixed person trying to find her identity). We really aren't all trying to fit into the black or white buckets. I like straightening my hair, it gets matted less and I can't really be bothered to have a full on curly hair routine(but I do wear it curly when I can't be bothered to straighten). It doesn't have to be about race. Hope you get what I'm saying. It's not a black nor a white experience, it's just being able to be whoever you want to be without being reminded that your outside looks like you should be able to relate to things you may not relate to at all. We(humans) are a diaspora of interesting quirks of nature.
43:59 Speaking of being followed in a store, just to spite this white woman who kept following only me, I pulled out my credit card (at the time it was hard for students to get approved for it. She also saw my cash, but I didn't do that on purpose). I bought two bags from her store out of the hospital. Oh yeah, for context, I was at the hospital in between appointments. One was for head trauma, the other was learning to walk again with my right femur titanium rod implant. My care giver ran to the restroom and I was bored. The look of surprise on her face was hilarious because I was one of the only people who bought anything. Later I thought did I do her more good or myself? Lol. My dad always taught me to treat everyone the same because you never know their circumstances. We're all people and deserve equity. Equality can't always be given, even though we strive for it.
I remember a beautiful Alexander McQueen coat. White, with flowers emboidered (like if the flowers are growing, so it went in the "skirt"). Full body length coat. Just great. It was around US$19,000, if I remember correctly.
32:33 That entire scene shaped me as a kid cause I think that was the first time I recognized how society's bias influences my first impressions of others. Like your first impression is usually based on in-your-face info, but if you take a moment to process a few details and look past the first impression, you can see the humanity in someone.
On the mixed race story, I liked your perspectives on it, but honestly the way the OP in that story came off was weird. It wasn’t so much the discomfort, which I can understand, it was the specific words she used. Idk, (for reference I’m Black American who’s existed in many diverse Black environments) the only time I’ve heard Black people talk like that to other Black folks are ones who aren’t fully comfortable with their identity and want to separate themselves from it. On top of her not getting along with any other Black folks from her school, which by itself isn’t an issue, it’s a bit suspect when everything comes together. Not to say that Josie isn’t weird as well, perhaps a little overzealous as it feels like this might be the only other mixed person she has met and was looking for camaraderie, but I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s real discomfort is someone reminding her of what she’s trying to forget.
The story about the mixed girls is interesting because globally, Black people are very diverse. Mixed race Black people can be different based on which parent is Black, nationality, ethnicity, and a myriad of other factors that, like all people, aren’t connected to the social construct of race. I don’t think the letter writer is wrong, and feel empathy for the other girl because she seems lonely and confused.
Dad cancelling applications has a serious pride/ego problem... The son also needs to be able to stand up for himself and say I'm not responsible for my little brother. Hes not. He's not even responsible for his parents when their health declines. He'll be lucky if Aidan still desires a relationship with him after this...
On 2 the irony is the person thinks talking about their race is disrespectful. The things that the OP thinks are creepy are literally regular conversations amongst Black people, she was trying to talk to you and bond, but you made it about race when it was more about the bond of culture and you minimized it to just being Black as if its a casual aspect of your identity. The overarching issue is more one of "not seeing color" and how problematic that actually is. You think she's tokenizing you (ironic considering you've literally eliminated all the aspects that would identify you in order to become a token). This aint about here trauma as much as it is yours. I don't think anyone's an asshole but yall both identify on separate aspects of your biracialness and she's curious as to why you erase it completely. Also acting like African countries don't have similarities across cultures is being deliberately obtuse. Even AA and Africans have similarities what do you mean just because yall are from different countries you wouldn't have similar aspects?
19:32 her parents are so strict, though that if she did skip school, what’s her punishment because she can’t do anything anyway. All that does is breed sneaky behavior.
For the AITA for the two mixed girls. I feel like it wasn’t a fair comparison tbh. The two girls were mixed, african & white which isn’t equivalent to a white person asking race questions to black ppl. It’s equivalent to black ppl asking other black people about their experiences. The analysis was kinda disappointing
That was what I felt was missing. They are the only 2 pocs in that friend group. I think the OP is entitled to decide how she wants to be engaged with and related too. However ppl initially relate to one another on the basis of cultural proximity and experiences. The way it was handled was weird to me as that could’ve been a private convo or a call in situation vs a call out situation.
My highschool teacher was PISSED if we read "the N word" she wanted us to read "the guy" having grown up somewhat sheltered (never heard of that word till high school, because my town is 98% white my scholl of 220 students had 1 asian student didn’t have any black people) i never even heard of that word. Actually yelled at me when we were reading outloud (which i struggle with to start with) and came across that word and said it
Honestly about the MiL walking in on OP in the bathroom yes OP could lock the door but like she said past trauma which isn’t the MiLs problem BUT I think her knocking is such an easy compromise and just common decency when in someone else’s home?!?! Like why be mad about OP not getting through that trauma when there’s such an easy compromise
You won’t understand “you shouldn’t wear that “ until you step outside.. especially in a dangerous area . Yk you can’t walk out without a cover up or jacket if your going to a train/ bus station.. it’s scary and unfortunate..
@@esmooth919 as a man , a hat can mean life or death depending on where you live .. I’d hate to be in Cali .. Women be on that too and will tell you can wear certain color accessories cause it has meaning
As soon as he said Ricky the Robber all I could think was, "Ricky, when I catch you Ricky! RICKY, wHeN I cAtCh YoU RiCkY! RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY!"
The first story sounds like OP did absolutely everything housework realted. If the husband knows she is just going to clean up after him, he thought she'd do it for his brother. If they get back together, he needs to clean the entire house AGAIN top to bottom.
Racial conciousness varies person to person. For some people their race is a defining part of their personality but it’s super annoying to have that projected on you before the person really knows you
First story: the husband is insane and the BIL and SIL are worse. Shoutout to the wife & her mom & eventually to the MIL for coming to her senses when she realized the truth. Family is cool but boundaries must be had. Communication, respect, and understanding is also a must in a relationship, especially in a marriage. NTA. The wife needed support from her family because she wasn’t getting any from her husband.
Moving my son to an apartment story: Did anyone else think that a 23 yr old adult getting an ALLOWANCE from their parents is a huge red flag? LOL And privileged as fuck.
Yes, I did think that was a huge red flag, but clearly, son already knew better, because he wanted to be independent. And that's before he found out his dad was canceling his job applications! Divorce his ass!
I do understand the woman who wanted to relate to someone of the same mix race. I am white passing and Jewish and I do after dealing with so much hate want to spend time with people who are Jews that I can relate to b I don’t care what race they are but I need to be around Jews right now
The price of OP cost was hella irrelevant. I hate how that was even a point to consider. The niece violated and destroyed property of someone else, and was aware of the value.
Might get hate for this, but I was a little put off by the Hogwarts Legacy talk. There's a lot of legitimate bigotry in the game that got brushed aside during the controversy. (Antisemitism)
Oh don’t worry, I agree with you and plenty others do even if you get hate. It’s kind of a hard topic to approach, but you are valid in your discomfort. :) I was more giving the side eye 😒
Pregnant OP’s husband seems to be easily influenced by his brother. I’ve seen drastic behavior changes in people that were dependent on who they were spending time with. Toxic people (like BIL sounds like) spread toxicity.
1:10:08 saying that the price turns you off for the $20,000 coat, that would be most of us. But these people aren’t rich they’re wealthy so that $20,000 might be like 500 to a normal normal person.😂
0:49 Not the asshole. Why is the husband not helping with not only his wife, but his crazy ass brother's family? And for that matter, why is husband's brother and his wife not taking care of their damn kids?! I really do wonder why they got evicted ETA: Well it's nice to know that husband wised up. And now I know his brother is a narcissist, because he lied to his mama about being evicted, causing undo strife in the entire family.
Your husband is definitely an asshole, not to mention conniving. He's just using your son for free in-home health care. Meanwhile, son just graduated from high school, and is trying to live his own life. Husband is literally stunting his son's growth. Wife, if I were you, that shit is grounds for divorce. Nobody wants a manipulative spouse.
you guys are trippin about the $20k coat. i highly doubt anybody bought it for 20k off the rack. it sounds like it is an antique that has been appraised at a 20k value. not that it originally had a 20k pricetag and, somehow, did not depreciate in value with wear.
There are some, but it is strange. They are usually something that are just like 2 in the world, or custom from a luxury house, with certain detail (like hand embrodiery)
I kinda knew I was right for being upset that when my ex best friend stayed with me for a bit because she was struggling mentally and emotionally with stuff in her life... and I still expected her to not destroy my house or leave things around that could kill my cats - and told her multiple times for weeks pretty much at least once a day about something somewhere, out of her bedroom, that my cats would die if they ate it AND it's something they enjoy eating(Silas is a fiend for plastic, Monte is a fiend for butter/sweets and Bean is a psycho for most food including chips and not open chip bags, literally have to child lock my food/cabinets. not to mention my Angel girl Davina LITERALLY almost died from eating a string once and I deff have ptsd from it) She would leave tags/bags they could and would eat all over her bedroom floor, which I even said was okay as long as she shut the cats out.. I get being too depressed to clean sometimes... but she then also would leave the door wide open even when she wasn't home....... I knew that kicking her out was right in my mind but still feel guilty cause she was my best friend and was struggling(she had tons of family she could stay with in the area but wanted to be somewhere she could be "alone" at night so her and her baby were never at risk to be homeless from my decision) but like.. that amount of disrespect is crazy, especially after dozens of times of me giving grace and reminding her kindly and nothing changing for more than half a day... Sooooooo needless to say the first story and their response to it makes me feel a little more valid for setting that boundary so firmly after repeated reminders and requests T_T
A person from the Vatican, a superhero, a bank robber and Juliana Ceasar walk into a backyard...
1:09:44 Someone's the coat.. OMG, like the Too Many Cooks skit on Adult Swim. 😂
That’s Priest Vatican to you
@@Duckduckobtusegoose 😂😂😂😂
@@Duckduckobtusegoosehe's in red though, so he's actually Cardinal Vaticanus! 😂
AHAHAHAHAHAHAGA. Good joke 😂😂😂😂
Whether or not OP's husband could afford to buy a new coat is irrelevant. It's the principal. Her niece purposely and maliciously destroyed another person's property. She should absolutely be held accountable. If she'd done this to a stranger, she'd definitely be held accountable. OP isn't being petty at all. Her property was destroyed. NTA.
Agreed! The consequences listed in the update were appropriate. Glad OP’s husband and BIL figured it out. Niece needs to feel the consequence of her choice for a long time so she learns not to do something so stupid and selfish again.
I mean it’s not like she (Catwoman lol) actually used that as a point after hearing the entire story. They went straight to principal the rest of the time.
In the 1st story the husband said he thought she was dead and was having nightmares so why was his fist reaction to take her for granted! He could have lost her and their unborn baby and his reaction was to lash out at her and expect her to clean and take care of your brother’s family who destroyed your house right after she got out of the hospital?!
yeah his excuse makes absolutely no sense, i feel like he’s just scrambling to come up with something but i think it’s really only because his MIL and Mom both saw how awful he treats her and he got put out.
I think he initially lacked understanding. Once his mother explained things to him and how serious it was, he changed his perspective.
@@SamuelsReview But how old is he? If it takes Mommy to come through & make him see sense, OP *and* their kid are both screwed.
@@lucycarlisle9120 No matter how old you are, everyone isn't able to fully grasp everything. Especially if they don't experience it firsthand. He's showing his maturity by listening to correction, accepting his fault, and offering a apology.
@@SamuelsReviewThat's fair. So do you think he had the nightmares after?
As someone that was nearly trafficked irl as a child, and was only stopped by sheer luck, I totally understand the sheer terror of looking back and going. Oh fuck. that could have been me. I was still trafficked for csem online, and a victim of csa, but it could have been horrifically worse. And the way the people tried to get me was by getting the kids who were being trafficked to come up to me, and be friendly, then taking me to talk to the adults who were running it. It wasn't a scary man in a van, it was other traumatized kids.
To story #2 as a mom I'm still trying to figure out how to instill that "stranger danger" sense into my kid. However the more I look into it, the less it's about strange people and the more we need to emphasize looking out for strange BEHAVIOUR. As Heather proved anyone can be, or enable a predator.
There's an exhibit put together by survivors of assault called what I was wearing and it shows a full spectrum of modesty to immodesty I grew up in family room. I was highly encouraged to dress modestly psychologically. It was not very healthy birthday because from a very young age I was constantly paranoid about predators. And it did not protect me from being preyed upon. I think that as a society we need to do is put more pressure on the people with the problem.
No but the wife's family in the first one are such MVPs and I love that the husband's family called their mom for help and she switched to the wife's side when she saw it. That MIL knows that a good relationship with your daughter in law is how you keep getting to see your grandkids after the divorce 😂
Coat story: 100% the kid deserves to be taken to court. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean the kid doesn’t need to learn the lesson that they can’t destroy other people’s shit without consequences. She’s damn lucky she’s not having charges pressed for assault (which is what would happen if you did that to a stranger).
If she’s old enough to drive and own a car she should be held accountable for her actions
Bruh if I came home, body-wrecked from a baby and my ABODE is war torn???? I would turn on my heels and immediately back out of that situation…
I feel like it's important to let kids know the effects their outfits can have on predators, but ultimately it's the creeps fault, not the child. And some of that goes into purity culture mentality that just hurts people's development.
100% agree
This is poetic. Because it’s hard to explain this without it sounding like it’s judging the victim.
yeah, the pressure from parents can easily get worse than the pressure from society. So i think the way would be to ask the child to make changes in their style more slowly so they will have time to test the waters and emotionally adjust to how people perceive it. Also, take a change of clothes with them in case they suddenly feel uncomfortable.
@@Desimere I think that is a good approach
The thing is that regardless of how they dress they'll still be sexualized by the wrong people.
The first story is actually scary because that’s how he reacts under pressure and with the uncertainty of his wife’s health…I wish her well because I couldn’t trust him again and now I know he won’t protect me at my most vulnerable
Shoutout to mom in the third story. The father is BEYOND the pale. The son couod legitimately cut him off for something like that, unbelievable.
And how is the father thinking the older son will be able to survive if he cripples his financial and career development? How will the youngest son survive after the parents pass if neither of the sons have any financial stability?
as a mixed person and big fan of Trevor Noah's book (born a crime), its so nice hearing you guys validate the feelings I've felt for so long but didn't have the confidence to articulate... i never realized I experienced such a similar thing 2 yes ago until another mixed girl called us "twins" just because we had curly hair and tan skin, after telling me the same man invited us to a party when she asked who invited me and my friend... anyways love the content keep it up!
Speaking of books & relating to another part of their discussion on this story, being an English major in the South was interesting. It is definitely awkward sometimes having discussions in classes of mixed races, because certain words are off-limits to certain people. We're actually studying words, but we can't use some of the words central to the discussion. Or alternatively, some people will use the excuse of "classroom assignment" in order to use certain sensitive words, especially when those words are used way more than necessary. It's super awkward picking someone out of the class to say words because they are of the race or group the word refers to, because then they can feel typecasted or picked out of the crowd for reasons they can't control, but talking about the "Bad N-word" or 'Sympathetic White" stock characters in an American Lit class is a discussion that we're going to have. It's VERY delicate to conduct these classes in a respectful way, because in a group of 30 students and a prof, there are 31 different perspectives, even if many of those people have skin tones in common. I had a whole disclaimer prepared before I presented one one my Southern Lit heroes, Ernest Gaines. He writes very fairly about race relations, but talking about the "story behind the story" can get heavy in a hurry.
The one about the mom moving the son, I got all sorts of triggered LOL. I was also raised as a caretaker for my disabled younger brother and while most of the time I didn’t mind, there were certainly times when I needed my own space. Only for teachers, my parents and my brother to expect me to fall into this role. I greatly applaud the mom for helping her son get freedom and am livid at the father for putting that responsibility on his other kid. Siblings should not be forced to be caregivers.
Tbh those kids were not abused bc of their outfits. No matter how conservatively you dress there are creeps who will sexualize; it may reduce it with peers though.
Those kids weren't abused because of their outfits they were abused because of perverted abusive adults exploiting their inexperience and vulnerability.
@@rebeccaholcombe9043 exactly
Definitely, 100% agree. The only thing I would add is that sometimes children want to feel/look more mature and that’s when I would intervene. Almost everyone has had that feeling and you want to dress more mature, so I would try my nieces/little cousins don’t rush it and dress according to their ages. But, yeah, going back to the topic, there’s not the kids’ fault they are being sexualized by disgusting predators.
Creepy GF story: I am a black with a currently majority white friend group, and I would not like to be in that situation either. It would be different if I was approached as a person first not being interrogated about a piece of my identity. Or like when I'm interrogated about my blackness by other black people who only see my white friends/husband now and don't know I grew up with no other race around me but black people.
Just a thought for why the MIL might have been “accidentally” walking in on her-what if the husband told his mom what a “silly” phobia his wife had about locked doors, and the mom was like, “Oh, I’ll take care of that!”
(Thinking that she would teach her a lesson and that her son’s wife would get over it real quick if someone kept barging in on her going to the bathroom. ) That might also be why the husband wasn’t sticking up for the wife, he found her phobia annoying and was fine with the mom doing what she was doing.
Just throwing that idea out there!
S1: NTA and the husband is so FOS. so his excuse is he found his wife unconscious and thought she might be dead so instead of that leading him to want to pamper her and make sure she’s okay and healing when she gets home he chooses to move his messy brother, crazy SIL and loud kids into their home without telling her, doesn’t pick her up from the hospital, doesn’t clean up after his atrocious guests, doesn’t tell his guests to be quiet and then berates his wife that he was oh so concerned about that he has nightmares about cleaning up after guests she was never consulted in? GMAB! the way i would have already filed for divorce on this poor excuse for a man the day after my mom and brothers gathered those folks out my house. OP needs to leave this man in the dust, do not pass GO or Parkplace, just directly to the lawyer’s office.
"Lets go back a chapter ....She was surprised they moved in!" BROOOOOO😂
No but Sam acting as the "pranking" teen while wearing the hamburglar costume makes it so much funnier 😂
Am I the only one who thought Sam's mask had built is plastic lenses until he moved it to his forehead? Lol it was his glasses the whole time! Plus it isn't a hard plastic molded mask.
Something I heard once stuck with me. “Dress for the world we live in. Not the world you wish it was”
I’m only the first story in, but DAMN. I for sure would’ve called my mama and the mom was smart for bringing her brothers for support. In that situation I would’ve called his mama too. I’m tellin’ everybody!!
The guy with the evicted brothers fam…. I think once he realized everyone had his wife’s back is when he decided to change his tune which is very problematic he should’ve had her best interest at heart from the get.
I’m now remembering when I was like twelve I told my mom I wanted to play with my new friend, and for the first time she was super diligent about exactly WHO I was playing Roblox with since I also knew her from school. She said she “wanted to make sure her family shared our values.”
Guess what was going on around that time?
1:00:14 "I don't think she's the asshole, but I think she's being real petty about it." I couldn't have said that any better, but the fact still remains that her niece purposefully ruined a *_$20,000 coat,_* and posted it on the internet! I don't care what nobody says, there still needs to be consequences!
ETA: now that's what I call retribution! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 She definitely had to lose her car for a shitty prank like that!
16:35 I hate that her parents were that strict, but I do very much appreciate the fact that they taught her stranger danger. My mama taught me from an early age.
Lmao my sister told the whole family her bf cheated on her and then was shocked we didn’t just love him when they eloped and he had two women pregnant🤮
I remember being in my high school history class, during black history month. We were watching a documentary about slavery and segregation. There was a segment where they were talking about lynching and this white kid behind me whispered “Ahhh, the good old days” it was the wildest thing all I could say was “WTF DID YOU JUST SAY” and he was so shocked that I even heard him. SMH 😂
The being more afraid of the parents belt is so real
the story about the girl and her friend was actually terrifying, and it’s crazy for think that my generation has normalized kids dressing older than they actually are, the amount of 14 year olds i see wearing body con dresses or Booty shorts and barely covering crop tops is outrageous. At 14 I would NEVER wear that and that was only 5 years ago for me. And I also hate how this generation acts like kids aren’t trying to be older than they are, you shouldn’t be wearing makeup that makes you look like a legal adult at 14 years old. That’s weird asf to me. I’m glad that girl got away from her “friend” before something bad happened. Cause yeah I get that it’s “not bc of what they wear” but in this generation it kind of is cause kids aren’t dressing like KIDS. They dress like adults and it’s creepy, I’ve seen multiple 13 year olds who look older than me and I’m about to be 20.
Just because you see it as weird doesn't mean it is. Like every gen had clothes that was "wrong" but the most rapes are by people closest to you. Which means they most likely see you in pajamas and sweats and whatever.
Nahhh there was so much perverted shit going on before outfits were involved. Even if someone doesn't look their age you have to be either perverted or extremely negligent to allow something to happen.
Also it's not really a child's fault that they feel pressured to act above their age.
This comment is so weirdly moralising of the choices of children.
Outfits have barely anything to do with SA. There is an exhibition called "What were you wearing?" its hard to stomach, but they show the outfits that people wore while they were sa'ed. Its not "booty shorts" its summer dresses, pajamas, Hijabs or, in the worst cases, diapers.
Tbh "looking older" may even deter a certain kind of creep, as scary as that may sound.
(And tbh every Generation dresses like that and every Generation judges. Im five years older then you and thirteen year olds already dressed like that when i was thirteen.)
The Epstein story reminded me of today when I was sitting alone at the cafe of our local grocery store, and there were 3 young girls maybe around 14 years old. One of the girls wanted the others to come with her to meet some guy. I couldn’t hear everything they were saying, but her friends didn’t really wanna go with her. She was trying to persuade them to go with her, while her friends at the same time were trying to talk her out of it. Then she jokingly said to her friends “it’s not like he’s gonna kidnapp us in his van or something. We’ll just stand outside of his car and talk a while”. In the end her friends went along with it and they left together to meet some guy with a van that they didn’t really know. You can never know what your kids are up to nowadays. When I was young you could not meet strange van guys from the internet but now it’s almost way too easy. At least her friends went with her and I guess it would be harder for him to kidnapp 3 girls at the same time. 🤷🏼♀️ As I said I didn’t hear the whole conversation, and I don’t want to automatically assume that it’s a creepy guy they found on the internet or something. But that’s my assumption anyway.
1:20:05 Put up a sign that says "Please Knock" with pretty font. After apologizing, have a conversation about the trauma with MIL, explain that if the door is closed, then please knock. There will be a sign to enforce it. Wait until after she leaves to place it. If hubby gets angry after that, maybe there needs to be some kind of therapy, but knocking is common courtesy. True, the lock can help, but leaving the door unlocked can be helpful in other situations. If you keep having problems, it's a red flag. We all have problems. Let's find solutions.
31:38 I remember watching the Epstein documentary and feeling so conflicted about the recruiter victims. Like on one hand, I’d want to encourage my future kid to befriend the loner kids, but that is LITERALLY the kid who was putting others in danger by recruiting them. It’s so hard trying to imagine the best way to protect them, allow them to enjoy their childhood, and teach them how to be a good human.
i know that it’s called the comfort level podcast for a reason 😂 but this podcast is so chill that i listen to it in bed to help me sleep 🤣 it’s the most relaxing reddit aita podcast i’ve listened to so far and i listen to *a lot* lmao i wonder if you guys would be willing to venture into other subreddits like TIFU (today i effed up); am i the devil (like aita but supervillain level evil LOL); let’s not meet (this is a very interesting one as it’s about people who have had creepy / chilling encounters (i remember one person claimed they were almost a victim of prolific serial killer ted bundy 😱) but yeah, very interesting!!!) anyway, thanks for the laughs and i *love* when sadia joins, they’re my favourite episodes! much love, aria ❤ edit: i wrote this before watching and i just saw “i could have been one of epstein’s victim’s” in the tagline haha 😂 but check out ‘let’s not meet’ hehe ☺️
28:40 I don’t agree with the fact that some people don’t think young adults are “grown” not all of us went to college and are still in school, not all of us live at home, I immediately moved out and across the country at 18, responsible for my own bills, my own life ect ect, i even had to lend money back home. Those types of people think all young adults are college students, that’s where I agree most of them are kids who’ve had no real world experience, but not everyone has had that privilege to stay a child as an adult
I think if someone likes kids; the kid dressing more adult doesn't make the predator more attracted to the kid probably the opposite in reality. I think no matter what there's going to be bad people how you dress doesn't change that so putting the blame on anyone's outfit is just victim blamey.
She was told to "look innocent" anyway. Girls were probably showing up with pigtails and clothes from when they were 8-10.
But that's what sucks. Pervs will like "grown up" clothing because it lets them see more while telling themselves it's ok because "they're mature." And they'll like kid's clothing because it's what they actually want.
24:10 I resonate with this so much. I’m at the age where I’m seriously thinking about kids and I’m terrified of all the dangers out there that I have no way of protecting them from. God especially with the internet, like what can you do to stop all the creeps, all the peer pressure, just everything!
Man, I have two grown kids, and I’m a reasonably good mom. But honestly, the number of times my kids narrowly escaped a horrible fate (that I know of) makes my blood run cold. And I know that there are even more things that I don’t even know about. That’s why, when someone’s kid falls into the gorilla pit at the zoo, I never ask, “Where was the mother?!” It could just as easily have been my kid. Watch your kids, teach your kids, and pray over your kids because they need it.
Talking about reading in a book that has the N-word in it. I got in a full on fight on my 30th birthday, because a childhood friend was so obsessed with trying to say it's okay if it's in historical literature. (We are both white as fuck) Needless to say, not friends with him anymore. I haven't spoken to him in 3 years.
The main thing I'm really worried about with the story of the dad preventing the son from applying for jobs (aside from the points already mentioned) is how he worded the emails and whether he just screwed his son's chances of ever getting employment from those businesses. I don't know how it works on the employer's side, but I imagine it might discourage them from considering his application the next time he applies for a position in those same companies.
i was excited for your podcast all week~ its become my favourite reddit podcast. yall are such good friends to eachother :,)
The other day my little sister (15) posted a TikTok and me being nosey looked in her comments to see who her friends were and the amount of little girls dressed in next to nothing floored me. I had to stop because I was so upset. Girls with 15 clearly posted in their bio posting thirst traps in short skirts and small shirts with all their bits out getting hundreds of followers who are all older men. The saddest thing is that they don’t realize how dangerous it is and when you try to tell them they always say “your just jealous because your old” 😂 im 22 or “everyone dresses like this” not realizing that the every one they’re talking about is an adult or an influencer.
Oh I love this show. You guys are such a comfort to listen to and the act outs are hilarious. I think I've become a comforter.
Really glad the family and M.I.L of girl in the first story all had her back. Her husband us the AH, moving ppl into ther home without speaking to her first, I hile she was pregnant, sick, and hit her head? TF and S.I.L refusing to come out of the room at all tells me she might well be the reason for the eviction in the first place.
Bro, I had to go hug my mom after the Ebstein moment because my mom scared alot like ops mom, but it kept me from going into situations where I could have very much died, being SA again, or yata yata. And its a scary to think if she didn't scare me as much I would have done smth dumb dumb 😅
I feel like her calling her race irrelevant speaks volumes as to what the real issue of race being brought up is.
I wonder if it really is coming as often as she's saying or if every time the topic comes up it makes her uncomfortable in general. I understand what the group is saying about black not being enough to bond with someone, however I do think OP isn't comfortable with being black as much as she is being white.
I think OP isn't comfortable interacting with someone who is openly projecting their blackness. The girl is probably trying to be reassuring in ways a lot of poc aren't in white friend groups. Saying she doesn't have to straighten her something a lot black girls did to conform with their white counterparts.
I think it's a better question to ask what about blackness is making her so uncomfortable. I'm sure her other friends have asked just as invasive questions because to be honest these aren't abnormal questions. I think the other friend was starting to see why she hasn't had any other black friends.
What you did here is exactly her point. Why does she have to perform a theatrical ballad about being black and white? She doesn't have to be uncomfortable with her blackness nor her whiteness. I realize that for a lot of people, the idea of race is very either or. But there's a completely valid and unapologetic middle which itself isn't a middle but a whole (not)new race. And when you're in that "middle", to constantly be asked to live and "be comfortable" with something you're not isn't fun. The acknowledgment of your difference isn't a shunning of someone else's difference. It's other people who try to convince you that your difference is an issue. She just doesn't want to be a poster child of an issue she doesn't relate with(i.e. A mixed person trying to find her identity). We really aren't all trying to fit into the black or white buckets. I like straightening my hair, it gets matted less and I can't really be bothered to have a full on curly hair routine(but I do wear it curly when I can't be bothered to straighten). It doesn't have to be about race.
Hope you get what I'm saying. It's not a black nor a white experience, it's just being able to be whoever you want to be without being reminded that your outside looks like you should be able to relate to things you may not relate to at all. We(humans) are a diaspora of interesting quirks of nature.
43:59 Speaking of being followed in a store, just to spite this white woman who kept following only me, I pulled out my credit card (at the time it was hard for students to get approved for it. She also saw my cash, but I didn't do that on purpose). I bought two bags from her store out of the hospital. Oh yeah, for context, I was at the hospital in between appointments. One was for head trauma, the other was learning to walk again with my right femur titanium rod implant. My care giver ran to the restroom and I was bored. The look of surprise on her face was hilarious because I was one of the only people who bought anything.
Later I thought did I do her more good or myself? Lol. My dad always taught me to treat everyone the same because you never know their circumstances. We're all people and deserve equity. Equality can't always be given, even though we strive for it.
Vatican looks like he's about to cast out some demons from these stories
59:07 😂 the tea/cocoa break whilst singing into a great transition 👌
Every time the camera flips to Sam I just start to laugh so hard. Is the mask wrapped around his glasses? 😅
Not sure how I found you guys but I've set and watched almost every episode in the last couple days 😂❤
i wonder what coat costs 20,000 dollars? that thing better not be ugly lol
I remember a beautiful Alexander McQueen coat. White, with flowers emboidered (like if the flowers are growing, so it went in the "skirt"). Full body length coat. Just great. It was around US$19,000, if I remember correctly.
@@8LyJu8 that sounds gorgeous and definitely worth the lawsuit
My teacher would make US read the hard rs out loud to the class when we’d do read alongs in high school
32:33 That entire scene shaped me as a kid cause I think that was the first time I recognized how society's bias influences my first impressions of others. Like your first impression is usually based on in-your-face info, but if you take a moment to process a few details and look past the first impression, you can see the humanity in someone.
Brandon as the coat took me OUT!!😂😂😂
On the mixed race story, I liked your perspectives on it, but honestly the way the OP in that story came off was weird. It wasn’t so much the discomfort, which I can understand, it was the specific words she used. Idk, (for reference I’m Black American who’s existed in many diverse Black environments) the only time I’ve heard Black people talk like that to other Black folks are ones who aren’t fully comfortable with their identity and want to separate themselves from it. On top of her not getting along with any other Black folks from her school, which by itself isn’t an issue, it’s a bit suspect when everything comes together. Not to say that Josie isn’t weird as well, perhaps a little overzealous as it feels like this might be the only other mixed person she has met and was looking for camaraderie, but I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s real discomfort is someone reminding her of what she’s trying to forget.
Reading the comments under that post were so validating. I’m happy to see I’m not the only one who knows what’s up
Had this on in the background and I looked at the screen for the first time just in time to see Sam’s eyes, actual jumpscare 😭 I yelped
1:20:17 maybe mother-in-law has trauma from being forced to knock on doors 😂
Y’all are quickly becoming my favorite podcast haha
fr I've been binge watching all their vids
From jersey mixing pot, felt all this. I respect Madi for genuinely asking
Found the pod a week ago, AND IM HOOKED 😳😳😳✨✨✨
ive always had people say stuff abt me not being black enough like stop its not funny or interesting for you to bring that up by to me!!
The story about the mixed girls is interesting because globally, Black people are very diverse. Mixed race Black people can be different based on which parent is Black, nationality, ethnicity, and a myriad of other factors that, like all people, aren’t connected to the social construct of race. I don’t think the letter writer is wrong, and feel empathy for the other girl because she seems lonely and confused.
Dad cancelling applications has a serious pride/ego problem... The son also needs to be able to stand up for himself and say I'm not responsible for my little brother. Hes not. He's not even responsible for his parents when their health declines. He'll be lucky if Aidan still desires a relationship with him after this...
On 2 the irony is the person thinks talking about their race is disrespectful. The things that the OP thinks are creepy are literally regular conversations amongst Black people, she was trying to talk to you and bond, but you made it about race when it was more about the bond of culture and you minimized it to just being Black as if its a casual aspect of your identity. The overarching issue is more one of "not seeing color" and how problematic that actually is. You think she's tokenizing you (ironic considering you've literally eliminated all the aspects that would identify you in order to become a token). This aint about here trauma as much as it is yours. I don't think anyone's an asshole but yall both identify on separate aspects of your biracialness and she's curious as to why you erase it completely. Also acting like African countries don't have similarities across cultures is being deliberately obtuse. Even AA and Africans have similarities what do you mean just because yall are from different countries you wouldn't have similar aspects?
19:32 her parents are so strict, though that if she did skip school, what’s her punishment because she can’t do anything anyway. All that does is breed sneaky behavior.
Did they get evicted because of the garbage?
For the AITA for the two mixed girls. I feel like it wasn’t a fair comparison tbh. The two girls were mixed, african & white which isn’t equivalent to a white person asking race questions to black ppl. It’s equivalent to black ppl asking other black people about their experiences. The analysis was kinda disappointing
That was what I felt was missing. They are the only 2 pocs in that friend group. I think the OP is entitled to decide how she wants to be engaged with and related too. However ppl initially relate to one another on the basis of cultural proximity and experiences. The way it was handled was weird to me as that could’ve been a private convo or a call in situation vs a call out situation.
My highschool teacher was PISSED if we read "the N word" she wanted us to read "the guy" having grown up somewhat sheltered (never heard of that word till high school, because my town is 98% white my scholl of 220 students had 1 asian student didn’t have any black people) i never even heard of that word.
Actually yelled at me when we were reading outloud (which i struggle with to start with) and came across that word and said it
Priest Vatican at the Vatican; love the name 😂
Honestly about the MiL walking in on OP in the bathroom yes OP could lock the door but like she said past trauma which isn’t the MiLs problem BUT I think her knocking is such an easy compromise and just common decency when in someone else’s home?!?! Like why be mad about OP not getting through that trauma when there’s such an easy compromise
You won’t understand “you shouldn’t wear that “ until you step outside.. especially in a dangerous area . Yk you can’t walk out without a cover up or jacket if your going to a train/ bus station.. it’s scary and unfortunate..
And in some situations, you have to apply that to gang activity. I remember being taught not to wear certain colors for this reason.
@@esmooth919 as a man , a hat can mean life or death depending on where you live .. I’d hate to be in Cali .. Women be on that too and will tell you can wear certain color accessories cause it has meaning
As soon as he said Ricky the Robber all I could think was, "Ricky, when I catch you Ricky! RICKY, wHeN I cAtCh YoU RiCkY! RICKY, WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY!"
The first story sounds like OP did absolutely everything housework realted. If the husband knows she is just going to clean up after him, he thought she'd do it for his brother. If they get back together, he needs to clean the entire house AGAIN top to bottom.
Racial conciousness varies person to person. For some people their race is a defining part of their personality but it’s super annoying to have that projected on you before the person really knows you
dying at the act out 😂😂
First story: the husband is insane and the BIL and SIL are worse. Shoutout to the wife & her mom & eventually to the MIL for coming to her senses when she realized the truth. Family is cool but boundaries must be had. Communication, respect, and understanding is also a must in a relationship, especially in a marriage. NTA. The wife needed support from her family because she wasn’t getting any from her husband.
10:57 That shit was sofa king predictable... It was obvious brother's wife didn't want to be a mom, by the way she was locked up in her room!
Those birds were paid background actors 😂😂😂
1:07:40 Well, it's insured if bought with credit card 💳
marathons this for a few days and then gets to the hp game stuff and [disassociates and leaves]
The Coat: that was an awesome skit!!
Moving my son to an apartment story: Did anyone else think that a 23 yr old adult getting an ALLOWANCE from their parents is a huge red flag? LOL And privileged as fuck.
Yes, I did think that was a huge red flag, but clearly, son already knew better, because he wanted to be independent. And that's before he found out his dad was canceling his job applications! Divorce his ass!
Omg I’m so early hi guys I love ur content :)
I do understand the woman who wanted to relate to someone of the same mix race. I am white passing and Jewish and I do after dealing with so much hate want to spend time with people who are Jews that I can relate to b I don’t care what race they are but I need to be around Jews right now
When I was 12-13 I was playing in ditches and trying to grab mudbugs. Those poor girls :(
The price of OP cost was hella irrelevant. I hate how that was even a point to consider. The niece violated and destroyed property of someone else, and was aware of the value.
Might get hate for this, but I was a little put off by the Hogwarts Legacy talk. There's a lot of legitimate bigotry in the game that got brushed aside during the controversy. (Antisemitism)
i came here looking for this take and i’m so glad i found someone else thinking the same
Oh don’t worry, I agree with you and plenty others do even if you get hate. It’s kind of a hard topic to approach, but you are valid in your discomfort. :)
I was more giving the side eye 😒
Pregnant OP’s husband seems to be easily influenced by his brother. I’ve seen drastic behavior changes in people that were dependent on who they were spending time with. Toxic people (like BIL sounds like) spread toxicity.
1:10:08 saying that the price turns you off for the $20,000 coat, that would be most of us. But these people aren’t rich they’re wealthy so that $20,000 might be like 500 to a normal normal person.😂
my fellow nebraskans recognizing the name husker for the dog
This is a really really good episode
36:40 The girl brings her race up to make her feel uncomfortable and stray away from the group. Thats her goal.
0:49 Not the asshole. Why is the husband not helping with not only his wife, but his crazy ass brother's family? And for that matter, why is husband's brother and his wife not taking care of their damn kids?! I really do wonder why they got evicted
ETA: Well it's nice to know that husband wised up. And now I know his brother is a narcissist, because he lied to his mama about being evicted, causing undo strife in the entire family.
also, how the fuck are you a guest in somebody's house, and you can't clean up behind yourself?
47:36 I'm not even that far into this story, and my answer is already NTA. The father sounds incredibly controlling..
Your husband is definitely an asshole, not to mention conniving. He's just using your son for free in-home health care. Meanwhile, son just graduated from high school, and is trying to live his own life. Husband is literally stunting his son's growth.
Wife, if I were you, that shit is grounds for divorce. Nobody wants a manipulative spouse.
you guys are trippin about the $20k coat. i highly doubt anybody bought it for 20k off the rack. it sounds like it is an antique that has been appraised at a 20k value. not that it originally had a 20k pricetag and, somehow, did not depreciate in value with wear.
There are some, but it is strange. They are usually something that are just like 2 in the world, or custom from a luxury house, with certain detail (like hand embrodiery)
@@8LyJu8 and its still more likely to be an heirloom for that exact reason
I kinda knew I was right for being upset that when my ex best friend stayed with me for a bit because she was struggling mentally and emotionally with stuff in her life... and I still expected her to not destroy my house or leave things around that could kill my cats - and told her multiple times for weeks pretty much at least once a day about something somewhere, out of her bedroom, that my cats would die if they ate it AND it's something they enjoy eating(Silas is a fiend for plastic, Monte is a fiend for butter/sweets and Bean is a psycho for most food including chips and not open chip bags, literally have to child lock my food/cabinets. not to mention my Angel girl Davina LITERALLY almost died from eating a string once and I deff have ptsd from it)
She would leave tags/bags they could and would eat all over her bedroom floor, which I even said was okay as long as she shut the cats out.. I get being too depressed to clean sometimes... but she then also would leave the door wide open even when she wasn't home.......
I knew that kicking her out was right in my mind but still feel guilty cause she was my best friend and was struggling(she had tons of family she could stay with in the area but wanted to be somewhere she could be "alone" at night so her and her baby were never at risk to be homeless from my decision) but like.. that amount of disrespect is crazy, especially after dozens of times of me giving grace and reminding her kindly and nothing changing for more than half a day...
Sooooooo needless to say the first story and their response to it makes me feel a little more valid for setting that boundary so firmly after repeated reminders and requests T_T
Maddy I thought you were 19/20 you look amazing and so youthful! Another great video ❤
That Epstein story shook me
It's not "petty" to expect to be reimbursed for someone deliberately destroying your things, even if you're rich.