I know what you mean. My wife and son talk and make noise constantly. I feel like I'm going around in a constant state of frustration and aggravation. I can't even listen to an entire song in a vehicle without being interrupted several times. Introverts should not marry extroverts. They make me feel like I'm going crazy. And until I found this video I felt like the only one. Sometimes I feel like I want to join in and have fun but it's just too overwhelming to take it all in at once. It's like my mind just can't absorb it in a useful way.
I can relate. I work in retail so have to deal with people for hours, then someone will keep me talking when i feel exhausted and just want to be alone.
I’d rather be alone than with someone who talks too much, over talks me or hushes me. I attract these people because I’m kind but these people are draining.
I like the way you put it I read a little bit of what you said you rather be alone than to be with a person that's a talker that overwhelms you. If you're not able or willing to receive that's when it's better to be alone you see it's not the other person's problem it is both people problem two people that give too much information and one that does not have the capability to receive all of it that's a problem on both ends
that's like going to the dance and you're all pumped up ready to dance all over that dance floor and the person is just standing there that would seem improper correct but if that is how the person dances that must be respected
I just got back from a vacation with a talker. He hushed me, began sentences when I said things with, “that doesn’t matter.” Ultimately to him, only his thoughts and opinions mattered. I enjoy listening and learning new things and sharing experiences. Again this week, I decided to have a FaceTime chat with a man I was considering dating and for 25 minutes he spoke about himself and the material processions he had. He showed me all,the cars he owned and how he was going to take me out on a date in his Mercedes. At one point he said, “I’ll shut up and let you talk,” but that never happened. When I finally got to speak I said politely, “nice to meet you but I have some work to get to.” After I texted him, that I wished him well but we are not a match.
@@rachelhope3161 first impression are very strong. Since I am a talker and when I come across another talker like me I listen but we all have our limits but I know who's in front of me. In the middle of the conversation well the other person's conversation I said time limits I'm going to give you 2 minutes then I take over in 2 minutes you take over until the 2 minutes are no longer needed. I don't want to tell you how to run your life but my advice it's only an advice don't cancel him just because of the first impression. From my experience with the talkers that I have come across they are very giving and they push a lot. If you're an independent woman you may think I don't need nothing for nobody it's not like that well it hasn't been like that but everybody has their turn whenever you will be in need I believe that he will be there for you so don't cancel him yeah it seemed like I'm going on his defense I kind of am for your good. And remember the 2 minutes that way you can squeeze your 2 minutes worth also and you don't have to talk based on whatever he said you can also say whatever is in your mind that you feel that is strong and good because you also have your brain and you are intelligent and you have intelligent thoughts and intelligent words come out of your mouth not everything a person says is of any value sometimes it's just one word that can change the world your world or you change his world and hopefully the change isn't a positive note good luck in your decision and good luck in whatever you do God bless you from now and forever
@@rachelhope3161 ps and mention from the start your money and your personal belongings are yours I'm not interested in that but I am interested in you becoming mine and only mine and I don't have to force that it just has to be given to me and only to me make it clear from the start what you're in to get out of it good luck
If you fully listen you will never be able to say a thing as The person talks at somewhere in the middle you squeeze your words also and you say what's in your mind you see
@@lolapatton5444 is absolutely nothing to The Listener because the listener is not listening at all if they were to open their mind a little bit and their ears they might just hear the words of the other person
My heart goes out to you. Victimized is the perfect word to describe this abusive behavior. It's exhausting to get trapped that way. Rest up and tell yourself, "Never again!" You can do it!
This guy who just doordashed my breakfast was just rambling to me for almost 5+ minutes about anything he could possibly think of. I know 5 minutes doesn't seem like a lot time but when your poached eggs are getting cold standing in 30 degree weather it feels like an hour. And that's why I'm here. If you're someone who is an over talker, pleasseee try to read the other person's gestures and posture or any physical signs that they want to move along.
My friend was rambling for way too long, I was on my phone completely ignoring him to see if he would get the clue, he didn't. So I told him that I wasn't listening at all for the past 20 minutes or something. He responded with "ok I'm just gonna finish this ramble" and proceeded to finish talking about the topic, looking at nothing. I then realized he doesn't talk for other people to listen
@@joesanders4605 It doesn't seem to be fixable. I have a friend that will talk 24/7 and if anyone else tries to talk they get shot down like a clay pigeon. The truth is everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame and compulsive talkers do not let anyone have the air time. People then go running for the hills. The talker then asks, "What did I say?" I just want to hear the friggin' television.
And then they wonder why no one cares about them, but they get offended if you interrupt them. You can leave them and never talk to them again, I’ve done it but it’s better to give them an explanation just so hopefully you save someone else a headache(ear ache!) down the road.
I’m a Barber, it happens when I’m working, doesnt bother me there... BUT!!! ...... -What brought me here is when I was attempting to have a decent conversation with my neighbor and he TOOK OVER WITH Nonsensical BABBLE! WAY OFF SUBJECT, and JUST A HOT MESS! - Nothing REMOTELY INTERESTING TO ADD, OVER TIME, OVER EXPLAINING, TOO MANY WORDS, to the point I’m like.. WHO CARES! Please CALL A THERAPIST BEFORE I CHARGE YOU.
You see that is the problem no interest in your part that's when two people collide. And obviously what you had to say was of no interest to the other person and that's when two people collide it's not that one is wrong and the other one is right is that they simply collide
I have to deal with overtalkers on the daily. They talk for 5 minutes before I get to give a 10 second response, and then they resume another 5 minute ramble. I find it rude and view these individuals as less emotionally intelligent because I am always giving people much more respect than they give me. These people would never see it as rude though; they love talking, especially about themselves. How do I deal with individuals like this when I have to deal with them every day?
@unkle 123 no you're fine. Sometimes you just need a good rant. That's different than ranting on all the time about nothing and sucking up everybody's mental space like a vacume with no cognizance whatsoever about what you are even sucking up. It sounds like in your case you might be exposed to extroverts who are more interested in knowing you than you are about being known. You have to sit quietly and respectfully with an introvert to actually get to know them. Their secrets come out of the quiet spaces. The narcissists who are talking on and on are usually not interested in asking you questions or anything about you at all. It's all them them them and they'll view your communications as an affront unless it's communication about them directly. Unless they are interested in getting something salacious about you or information they can use against you later. I mean at least these people are asking you questions about you, so they may just be far more social and extroverted than you are comfortable with. There are also a lot of busy bodies and people who need a lot from the outside to fill up their own shallow emptiness. They have little depth, they are empty headed and always just busy with outside things to distract them. And yes narcissists fancy that they know you because they are *projecting* what they think you are based on some past experience with someone else. We all do this some but with the narc that's all they really need to believe they know you. But they don't, they can't because they never shut up long enough or care enough to find out until it benefits them somehow. You are nothing but a small notation, a footnote, in a book that's all about them.
You mentioned the word rude. To your intrepidation the other person was rude to my interpretation you are being rude for not listening or not having the ability to that is not the other person's fault that is your own
@@joesanders4605 sorry, your comment is a bit incoherent and I don't understand your full point. Moreover according to your logic I can assume that you obviously know nothing about me and my listening skills. I have found that the only answer in these situations is to adopt a very small contained amount of psychopathy and turn the situation into an equal exchange; when somebody wants to talk for five minutes straight about how highly they think of themselves or some boring aspect of their job that nobody cares about, it is my job to show myself the respect that they are not, and that is for my time. In such situations if I try to interrupt and fail, I walk away. There are far more talkers than listeners in the world, and I have wasted too much time listening to those who won't do the same in return.
@@Jakoshi I like everything you said. Is not a problem when a person thinks extremely positive of themselves but I like to think that you also think positive of yourself and it would only be right for the other end to also listen to you because I'm sure you have something to say you're an intelligent person and all that is good and when they don't give you the room of course you must walk away when they don't give you the time they make you feel ugly and I speak for myself when somebody makes me feel ugly I walk away and very good chances I don't come back
Because of the "excessive talker," I couldn't get a word in edgewise to suggest that i talk to them at a later time, so i just laid my phone down, went to wash my hands, went into the kitchen, and fixed myself an elaborate sandwich, poured a drink, came back near my phone, didn't even pick the phone up, but i could hear him still rambling on, he didn't even realize i was off the phone. ---- I sat there and enjoyed eating my sandwich, ....and he was still talking, talking, talking.
Okay, my sister is like this, but she's also borderline abusive, too. On top of that, she does these little pauses where you have to say, "uh huh, uh huh, yep, ok, yes, uh huh, I agree, uh huh, really!?" every 30 words to ensure you're still listening... THEN, after she's ranted for an hour, she then wants you to give an extremely brief (15 second) recap/analysis/advisement. _Then_ she goes on another rant about how your "opinion" is wrong to her way of thinking, she doesn't agree and what she _really_ _reeeeallly_ thinks about what she already said during the first rant - which is completely different the second time around. We haven't talked in several days because I'm at the end of my tether. She told me that I need psych meds and counseling because I couldn't help her move heavy furniture due to me having five herniated discs. Lastly, the first three days I had covid with the headache and 102.7° fever, she called ranting three hours each day. As I lay in my bed with covid..
I had to end a long friendship with a blabbering friend after begging her over and over to control herself. It caused me intolerable pain and anxiety. Fight/flight stress. She could not stop, and could not understand that being in her presence was to feel assaulted.
Obviously you did not pay attention to what was coming out of her mouth. But now that she is not in front of you you can look back and try try good luck and try to see what was coming out of her mouth but that might be too much information for you to receive all at one time you might not have the capability or the ability to
@@joesanders4605 but that's just it; I *did* pay attention, and it was a waste of effort. Nothing was being said. Nonsense and noise. The whole point being to get all available attention, and to provoke frustration and ultimately, disgust and dislike. It is a pathology and bullying manipulation.
I ghosted a longtime "friend" after I just COULD NOT listen to her drone on and on for one more minute!!! And YES! it is a form of abuse/using for the listener...its miserable, and so selfish of the talker. BYE stalkers!!!!
@@lisbethbird8268 Joe doesn’t get it because Joe might be the talker. They don’t get it. If it’s not asperger I’m not listening. Sorry, not sorry. Why do I have to subject myself to that type of psych torture? It’s narcissistic. Very selfish and downright rude. Then the second you open your mouth they interrupt. Maybe no one listens to them. So I give many days of free rambling hours so I can give them a chance to get it out of their chest. But it doesn’t change. That’s when I’m out. Nope. It’s insane how they don’t shut up. INSANE level yapping. Yammering on on on on on on on on on on on on on on MY GOD!
When I was in middle school, I had a music teacher who was a compulsive talker. She talked so much that some days we barely played our instruments at all and a bunch of kids quit altogether.
I’ve stood there, literally standing at the door even after telling this person I had to pee and this guy kept rambling on and me, being too polite, just stood there pretending to listen ….. my mother interceded and said “let her go to the bathroom!” And he says, “Who’s stopping her?”
I dont think I'm polite... I just dont snap back at every little thing. There's this female in my class for ex. She's always answering questions to questions I ask the teacher. I feel like she's going out of her way to front brilliance & maybe an attempt to belittle me. I just get this annoyed look on my face & I know the professor picks up on it. She's this aggressive & cut off about alotta things. Will "joke" in ... rude ways, like the teacher kicking me out of a course bc blah. I honestly don't even think she's all that compassionate. Maybe a little better @ faking it - temporarily. But oozes the chatty boo boo pet name vibes ish. Which isn't even recommended. But in the same sense, I've seen her speak to ppl w/ no filter & not even be aware of her own mouth. I just think it's weird, dont think myself as that damn special, & I sure as hell dont think she's all that smart. Instead she'll just leave me wondering where the hell does that even come from... & she only does it to me. So, there's these final state exam things that we gotta get done. & I was like,"is it gonna be like the mixture of all the tests we took in this class?" Her: it's gonna be alotta common sense stuff. The teacher: 😒go over the reviews I'm gonna be giving u guys & u should be fine... this is nursing stuff btw. But the student: I mean, I just know bc ppl say.... me: I don't really go by what ppl say. Come to find out she failed our last test. & here I'm just thinking 😋 what's the lowest I could get & still pass this class? U know what? Nevermind. I'm sure ppl look at these things, & I should try a bit harder. & then the class ended & someone was like how do we find our average...? Then there was a line up & she got in like & my polite self in my head 😒 _bruh, im out. They teach u that sh prob in ms. Possibly electronic I don't even remember. Reteach u that sh in idk :/. Hs, college,,, But that really is 1 of those more basic more daily things 🙄... u really should know_ & like let me stay excited about this sh? Like like ugh, im so over ppl b4 they even get a chance to be in my space somexs.
Yep. That’s me. My boss has had me almost in tears because I just didn’t have it in me to interrupt or be rude. I started to feel like I was in a trance. I continued to acknowledge the stuff he was saying but kept trying to drop hints that my wife is wanting me home. He didn’t care. He had me for almost 4 hours. This moment literally changed my life and opened up an entire new side of me. It happened again recently but luckily after 2 hours someone kept calling him and when he answered the phone, I bolted. From that day forward I swore to never let it happen again. Even though I am very polite, the way I look at it is: if they are too rude and abusive to your basic human contact then you HAVE to be rude and interrupt and tell them you have to go.
Another curious phenomenum is rattling off needless conversation at warp speed to give a false impression that there is an inherent sophistication or intelligence being shown....in the end... Empty cans rattle the most 😉
A dear friend rambles on and usually negative. It is like I’m a dump site for his emotions. When he calls, I tell him I have 10 minutes until I have to be somewhere.
Good idea about having to be somewhere. Knowing how they operate though, they'll want to know your business and how it went when you get back. I have the same type of friend, always something to bring you down.
@@rses916 Teach me. Please. There’s a kid on my bus constantly talking about the most mundane shit, ignoring every hint that I’m not interested in his conversations and ever since he got ahold of my phone number, he’s been constantly calling me and inviting me to do random shit. Of course, I never pick up the phone but he never relents. And I’m too nice to tell this kid to just STFU. I need all your wisdom please
Thank you , you are so right! People that talk a lot push people away. You think twice about even asking them how they ate doing. I know this particular person that the second they see me they ramble and ramble and I just want to walk away. My body language yells it, and they still won't shut up🤦♀️ they continue to talk about themselves and all their plans and I honestly am not interested 😑
Even if you spell it out, repeatedly, in no uncertain terms, they still can't stop. Try it. Someone may be autistic or just plain too self centered to understand body language. But I tried being clear without showing anger. It didn't work. It seemed almost like an invitation to them to Gambia even more. I think they enjoy missing people off because they think that proves something.?
Oh my God, yes! I have literally stopped even asking how a couple of people like this are doing. The way they either don't notice or don't care when you're giving clear signals that you need to leave just infuriates me! Some combination of narcissism and stupidity is at work there. I'll take the long way around to avoid passing one's desk. She's like a parasite, she just starts leeching shamelessly off anyone foolish enough to give her the slightest attention. And she'll flap around the office like a vampire bat to find someone to feed her vampiric void. If too many of us avoid her at once, she seems to literally panic. I actually suspect there's something demonic going on there, so it's frightening to be around her. No self-awareness, no consideration for others. Just shameless.
I have a friend who keeps talking non stop. His last visit was unbearable I never wanna see him again. He is so draining. I didn't even have time to hear my own thoughts. People asked me why I just don't tell him but he leaves me no room to think at all. I need to be able to think things I wanna say through and he kept talking and talking. He even bothers people on the bus saying creepy things and just talking, talking. I'm so sick of it. I have to block him on social media etc cause he also keeps on texting non stop. He does not even care if I answer. I thought maybe he is autistic or something like that but I don't care anymore, I have adhd and I need my peace too.
@@glorihulda933 True. This goes for those that just talk talk talk talk and talk, and u have no space for input. Instead they start talking again after a 10 minute rant when all u want is at least 30 secs.
God Damn. I just got back from the beach with my kids and my parents. My dad talked nonstop for 2.5 hours. I ended up not having a good time and getting a massive headache. It makes me not want to spend time with them.
I have a very close relative who is like this. We are back to being close but we didn't talk for almost a year because she refused to acknowledge how she over talked and out talked everyone m it took people severing relationships with her for it to really stick. She was actually prescribed meds for anxiety. It has helped a lot.
I have a friend that talks so much that sometimes I have kicked him out because I was tired after a long day of work. He talks about boring stuff that I have no interest in. What to do?
Maybe you dealt with it since you posted. Do what i did? After knowing this guy 18 years since school i finally got sick of him. His narcissism, he wouldn't shut up about HIM and his stuff, stuff he'd been banging on about 15 years, often stopping himself mid sentence then going off in another direction, his alcohol hangovers which wasted my time and a whole ton of annoyances. But NEVER stage an exit. Leave without fuss out the back door. Just don't return calls or be taciturn, bored and indifferent when dealing with them. Then cease contact. Abruptly without fanfare. Last i saw of him was 20 years ago. I had to find reasons to walk him out the house TWICE that day. It was an ordeal.
I'm trying to figure out how to deal with one of these people now and it's been making me feel so tired and angry all the time. If I leave the room she starts singing or loudly talking to herself. It's absolutely ceaseless. I'm losing my mind.
You really need to make it clear that you won't tolerate it.period. You are actually at risk, mental health -wise, if you don't. The problem is, the Blabbermouth probably won't even hear you, or won't think what you are saying is of any importance. I ended up truly hating someone like that, and I don't recommend it. Try to spare yourself that pain, at the very least.
@@lisbethbird8268 it's hard to keep calm about it. One time she talked the entirety of a three hour car ride and another passenger actually cried. I just don't get it. How can someone do this to people?
@@ByCatJ I understand. I once ran crying out of my own house, and stayed out for the better part of an hour. It was during Hurricane Sandy. (but far inland, so really more like a severe windy storm). I don't get it either. It seems like the listener's fight or flight nervous system can be triggered. (If you're trapped without a way to escape, like you were, this can lead to symptoms of ptsd. Truly.) The talker is acting out some kind of defense or control mechanism or delusion or anxiety or mania...or personality disorder or brain disorder or something. They have a problem. Just please protect yourself. I thought I could tolerate this behavior...for years...but it turns out, I couldn't, and it derailed my life.
She has something wrong..very nervous, or anxious or some other condition. Leave her a gentle worded note to seek medical help or therapy, it could possibly resolve quickly with anti-anxiety meds. And long term with talk therapy to ease the anxiety condition.
This is by far the most frustrating trait a person can have. Someone I work with does this so bad that I regularly go to the bathroom and stay in there a very long time to get away from it and her voice is constantly shouting from the other room without me responding to anything and when it’s home time, it’s almost impossible to finish on time because they just keep talking whilst I’m walking out the door, there have been times where I have finished one hour late. It sends my anxiety levels are through the roof.
I can totally relate, trying to get out the door without having to listen to 30 minutes of boring chat has become my work nightmare... oh and the VOICE saying... 'quick question?' before I even turn my computer on in the morning... and then that VOICE just bombards me all day... and then I'm expected to stand around and listen to her talk about herself at the end of the day as well? 😟
Just spent a long weekend with my husband's college roommates and their wives here at my home (overnight for 3 days). One man and one woman never shut up about themselves. Whenever there was the tiniest space where one stopped talking, the other would take over. Occasionally, a "civilian" would try to maybe change the subject and they were talked over. This was at my home, and they are both gone home this morning and I feel like I am reborn and released from some sort of prison. We usually only see these people one time a year, yet I have heard their stories over and over.
I feel surrounded by these people who talk at me 😓 I keep trying to work on myself to talk more but it feels forced. I’m thoughtful and will contribute when there’s chance but I clearly need to set boundaries without feeling guilty. How do you even do that 🤦🏼♀️ I feel so lonely but I’m not getting anything from the company around me. Thank you for this vid
I feel exactly the same living in a dorm 🙈 I am trying to value myself as I am, but I always end up thinking that I am wrong for being more quiet then them. Did you get better at this since you wrote this comment? I would like to hear about it
Somexs I really go by kill ppl w/ kindness. Got ppl prob believing that I really am a push over and that I really do like them. Like I'm just trying to tolerate your ass & trying to find my exit when I can. It's not always bc im just so mysterious, distant & quiet or wever. It really is bc I find u fn intolerable. I get so good at that tho I hafta watch myself. Trying to crack jokes throughout my days like maybe they're not so bad... it doesn't usually take long tho..
My boss at work talks to much to the point where i even hate his company around me its mentally draining i dont know how to put an end to it in a nice way
I live with my dad that can't stop rambling when he drinks. He's never not drinking. It's caused some sort of trauma in me and now I isolate every day so nobody will talk to me.
Yooo! My family is the same way and it gets so loud be a use everyone is talking over each other. Then when the "quiet one" tries to chime in, they all look at you like your crazy and says you are too loud.
I married into a Christian fam that mainly hides behind the image. Imagine being told to humble yourself bc u want more stability & structure in ur life. And they ironically have a history on substances u wouldn't even touch on ur worse days. I'm not a judgemental person but the behavior is poor. I'm not jeezenums. I don't hand out that many passes. I'm human. Not naive, gullible, an atm or the all the right answers I never get cred for... & if the worst way I could ever entertain my flesh is just by adulting or being a mother you're just honestly scraping for crumbs just to find something to Hate on 🙄... they even pulled the but you're not saved and baptized and I'm so well versed in my studies 😇 & right. You truly r some genuine guidance. I mean truly 😒
Thank you for this video. This is highly insightful for me. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I am completely silent. I found you by researching work related videos of co workers who talk a lot and found you. I just started a new job and I told my friend(not at my job), "First day was good, but the people training me are lazy and talk non stop about nothing." Their response was it doesn't matter. Just focus on you. I'm trying, but they have to train me. And they are right. But I just want to focus on my job and learn from them. I don't want to be rude. So, I will smile and share things I am comfortable with. I'm very introverted(except with a close few), but learning to small talk even though I hate it. I feel like these co workers go on and on about the dumbest stuff. In summary, I just want to work there. I don't care if I make friends. I guess what I'm asking is, is it ok to just say I don't want to share anything(I also like making friends, but that's not what I think about at work.). I just want to focus on my work. And, also is it ok to be so introverted? I'm very happy alone, but I do get a lot of anxiety around non stop talkers. Sorry for the long reply. I am ok with written expressions, but verbal blah blah diarrhea, I just can't deal with it. Thanks again for the video!
Thank you. I need to revisit this video in the future when I am stressed and think deeply before I start rambling. My social skills are lacking. Instead of receiving validation and comfort while I’m stressed it’s actually triggering more rejection and making my anxiety worse. I don’t intend to aggravate my friends, but they feel like I’m wasting their time. I need to find a better way to sort my ideas without burdening others.
What helped me from rambling was ‘making words count’ it’s helped tremendously take out any filler words or words that have no purpose aka talking about nonsense
I have somebody that comes over to my place twice a week she goes on and on and on and she's a care aide and I need her but when I have said to her please be quiet she won't stop and then I say it again please be quiet and then I say it in the different way with a raised voice I don't want you to talk anymore at this time and she still goes on and on and then my voice goes up and I say look at it I need you to understand one thing right now I need not to talk about this subject let's stop at let's put it to an end but she'll go on and on and trying to explain herself and I said to her I heard what you said I don't want to hear any more and then she's got me to the point where I have yelled at her and told her to shut the hell up and then she says why you yelling at me and I say things like why don't you understand bimbo you got me to this point and I've had to get out away from her and she still be talking in the car in the house whatever and I can't handle her our friendship is almost finished because of this and I've tried and tried and tried cheese been so hard on my nerves she's a very nice person she's a good person she's helpful she's crying she's got all those good qualities except I want to stick a sock in her mouth it's like what part of her does she not understand normally if somebody said to me would you please be quiet you might say one or two words after but when somebody tells you the second time you're smart enough to know to get the message
I avoid people wgho go on and on about nothing. Also people who tell all their business and everyone else's business. I dont have patience for people who talk too much, I give ONE warning.
Tip: Mix your audio levels so they are consistent. People may have earbuds in and your intro sound is very loud compared to your voice and if they put the volume up loud enough to hear you, and then that music plays, that can damage their eardrums.
@@j.s.8286 you might not have noticed I referred to people using earbuds in my comment, when you decided to reply for whatever reason that it’s ok over your tv.
@@j.s.8286 you seem like one of these people he’s talking about who can’t stop talking. Maybe take his advice. You apparently spend your time searching UA-cam comments, looking for strangers that have had a personal experience and then telling them that you didn’t have the same experience as them. Is that a worthwhile way to spend your life? It’s Saturday afternoon, maybe find something else more productive or more fun to do. Do you have a friend or family member who you could call that might really like to hear from you. Maybe you could read a book, paint a picture, learn a new recipe or volunteer at a local charity. Soon, this life will be over, and your comment here will be your contribution to humanity. Does that seem like a worthwhile use of your time? Concerning yourself with questioning other people’s perceptions, gaslighting and trolling strangers on the internet, that’s not very noble at all. Aim higher. I offered the author constructive advise to help him and his viewers, people clearly have had a similar experience. I didn’t put a poll out asking if you agree with me or not. Your unsolicited disagreement accomplishes nothing but creates conflict and wastes people’s time. If you liked the audio levels then wonderful, keep moving onward, or go make your own comment instead of being a provocateur.
I'm here because I've spent 3 days with someone who would not stop jabbering on. I thought maybe there's something wrong with me because I felt suffocated by the non stop onslaught of words with no meaning. Just an endless commentary. I shut down by day 3. Literally gave up even trying to respond. Coming here has made me realise I'm not alone with not being able to cope with that. Thankyou.
Sometimes people can't sit still and be quiet for 10 minutes or even five minutes they always have to be flapping their lips I enjoy quietness I enjoy having a conversation where you are in a tennis match somebody hits the ball you hit it back somebody hits the ball you hit it back but with a rambler with a motor mouth it's like playing tennis and having 20 balls hit that you all at once and you're trying to dodge them you're trying to hit them and then you're so exhausted
My mom is like this she talks about people I tell her I don't care ive even put on my anc heaphones and ill check like 15 mins later and she is still taking im just like how has she not notice I don't care all I can think is its some form of mental illness
My housemate won't shut up FOR A MINUTE.. when she's done talking for hours, she starts humming.. as that can't go for long, she'll put loud music in stupid foreign language and it's DRIVING ME UP THE WALL.. I can't listen or focus on my own things or really just have a quiet moment on the ONE day I stay at home weekly.. WTFFF
I’ve dealt with a person like this for YEARS and it causes me to almost hate him and infuriates me. I’ve had him telling every last stinking detail of working on some piece of machinery that I cannot and do not wish to picture in my mind and told him I didn’t want to hear about it and he says, “I don’t care. I want to say it.” He very well knows he’s driving family insane with this garbage, but still cannot curb it much.
Damn! At this point I would just stop listening all together. Just go about your business and do not engage. Let them talk to the back of your head as you go about your business. Put in headphones, read something on your phone, or just plain walk away. Be prepared for them to accuse you of being a narcissist or being insensitive etc. The very definition of "gaslighting".
I crossed Europe by train with my ex and literally could not experience anything because her speaking pushed me out of my own brain. She even got angry because I looked out the window rather than at her as we passed through amazing landscapes. We may as well have been in my living room for the experience I had. In the end I got angry and everybody on the train stared at me as if I was a rapist/pedo/racist/'toxic' male.
I recently had two people do this to me simultaneously. Literally talking over each other at me. One of them even started singing! Yes, this can be a genuine medical issue,.... brain injury, traumatic event... things like that. However that is usually not the case. It is a control issue. They are well aware of what they're doing. The rush they get comes from holding people hostage. They demonstrate this by either talking louder when you try to interject, or were they will look at you once upon your initial attempt and then fixate on someone or something else.... yammering the whole time. It's not okay, and the behavior should be called out for what it is.
My wife always had a low level of logorrhea that increased X1000 after pregnancy. Today 15 years later with many fights among us as I was constantly trying to calm her and try to stop her from detonating her logorrhea on our child, we are divorcing after I got into real deep depression followed by a nervous breakdown, and our daughter was diagnosed with APD. Lesson: Don't marry women that talk too much cause they will never shut the f#$& up!
@@EepyBnnuy Keep her away from your child. It is not a matter of your child picking up this habit (logorrhea) as the results are far more complicated. Do not risk your child's mental and psychological condition. My daughter after many years of her mother's logorrhea lost self-thinking, critical thinking, her imagination, and curiosity, she had bad memory recall, lack of consetration and when started to make important decisions these were all wrong and her thoughts were shallow. School grades started to fall as lessons became harder at highschool and her friendships were very wrong choices also. I had tried to talk to her many times but in the end, seemed that she didn't accept or realize anything I was telling her about till she rejected me completely. That is the price for me being a workaholic meaning working many-many hours day and night far from home to support my family. Now everything is gone and I'm living screwed up and alone. Also from my experience with my ex-wife logorrhea will bond with psychopathic traits. So stay alert.
@@EepyBnnuy damn good luck try to avoid her as much as possible that's the only way because they'll never change. I'd go live on the other side of the country if I were you no joke.
It's so mind boggling for me, because on one hand I grew up under what I now understand was Emotional Incest and the very idea of talking too much just- its so laughable to me. I could NEVER talk that much! What in the world do I have to say that deserves so much of someone elses time? Those are the kinds of things I think, but then I realize my dad, and tons of other people are talk-a-holics and that's their coping mechanism. We're all so different...
Sometimes the person is knowledgable BUT they have no 'stop' button. They think downloading it all at once is the best way to communicate it. Which means I dislike being around it. They need to pause and interact not talk AT you the whole time. The person I'm thinking of her heart intent is fine but not the delivery method.
Years ago I had a friend which I no longer have you get on the phone with her and let her go and let her go you can put the phone back half an hour later and pick it up and she still be talkin LOL I did that just to see and sure enough I put the phone down and she was talkin for 1/2 hour she didn't even notice I was gone
You know what?.. Screw "healthy boundaries" because these jibber-jabbering narcissists have no boundaries, and they certainly don't respect yours! What you do is jibber-jabber right back--especially about things you know they have no interest in. I just did it, like 15 minutes ago, and the jibber-jabberer in question was happy to see me leave! I just went off about HP Lovecraft stories, just trying to "share"... right? Because they're just trying to "share" sh!t you don't care about anyway! Give 'em a taste of their own medicine, and you'll no longer be their target 🤪
Sorry if this sounds sinister, but.. The damaged person who talks incessantly is using others as a crutch and by listening we're probably enabling them. Is it possible that people shouldn't just be asking them to get to the point, but directly stating "ok, that was 10 minutes, can't do more, when you think out what you want to say you're welcome to come back." Sadly this comment thread is filled with people who suffer REAL TRAUMA because they're trying to be kind listening to someone who is already defective and broken waste their time with no regard for their feelings, needs and current projects. Let me say that again. The "Talky" doesn't care AT ALL one damn bit about the person's feelings they are talking to. Only themselves. Thus this is an act of utter carelessness and selfishness and maybe we need to see it as an act that is strictly one of selfishness. To go one step further, a violation of other person's compassion and concern or kindness. It causes others to feel guarded and conflicted. it's not just one talkative person that's hurting. It's almost everyone they've engaged with as this changes us. And we come out of these friendships / families bitter, hesitant to engage people, hypersensitive to a "talker" who isn't the traumatized overatlker. Maybe we need to care more about ourselves and less about them. And let's be honest, if it's not me, it's someone else, they just want someone to stare at them while they talk. None of us are better for them than others. Let me make that clear too, Dr. Shore. NONE of us are a better friend for them as they will do this with random strangers. So it has nothing to do with who WE are, it's just the fact we're someone they know they can talk to. So if they don't care who they're incessantly talking to, then my kindness to allow them someone to talk to is clearly devalued and worthless to them. And this is why they openly don't value others as they don't see ME any more a great friend as a guy on the bus. After all, they won't shut up long enough for me to offer insight or even jump in the car to go with them to resolve a problem together. So for them even after talking for hours, they feel we did nothing for them at all and we have no value to them either. These people steal other peoples time, and I'm thinking we shouldn't "care" about them, as giving them an ear doesn't help them dive into their emotional abyss and figure out what the hell is wrong with themselves, or seek help. Maybe the real solution is to just switch into "sorry, you've hit 10 minutes without a pause. That means you just want to talk, you have no need for me in this" and let the shame of that statement work it's magic.
Wow you just described me. I have noticed this in myself and I tell myself I am not going to do this and then I do it again and feel so embarrassed and I beat myself up because I can tell that person is going to avoid talking to me in the future. I definitely have to talk to my psychologist about it. It's really making it hard to work on my self esteem when I keep doing this.
I actually found out where the overtalking comes from its actually in my case anxiety. I can't stand silence between myself and others. I am anxious about what they think about me so I overshare and overtalk to not feel really uncomfortable and anxious. It took me years to figure this out.
this friend or aid that comes to help will not stop for a breath..she keeps saying i know i interupt, but ...its always but, but ,but..i let her know how bad it is but she really doesnt believe it..so i told her i will record her for her to hear ...one time i went into the bathroom and she was still talking, then i went down the hall way to get my mail and she was still yacking and yacking.OMY goodness.
Thing is I could try this advice with those my family who over talk, but it would go in one ear and out the other in less than 5 minutes for many of them. If they're told to shut up they get offended I have done that and I have not cared.
Sometimes people will talk so much they don't realize that they're gasping for air and they're not pausing it's almost like they're hyperventilating LOL
I'm an introvert who is easily annoyed by over talkers. My mother in-law moved in after loosing her spouse. She is an absolute chatter box, she talks about nothing constantly. I've learned she wasn't allowed to talk at all in her house while growing up. So there's a reason. I do ask her to get to the point often. We've had discussions about her over talking. She knows she's doing it but can't help it. Lately I just walk off. She says it's impossible to stop in the middle of a detailed story. It's almost like an OCD thing. It has to have certain steps. If the steps aren't finished she continues after I'm gone. We are going in circles and nothing is getting better. I'm thinking of creating a UA-cam channel about it. In hopes that someone help us.
People who constantly talk makes my anxiety go up and i start to feel bad cause I don’t what to say i just repeat yeah cool to everything they say. Makes me feel horrible cause I don’t want them to seem like I don’t care and that im a asshole
What about the people that ARE talking about constructive things but they just won’t stop? It’s not like she talks about unimportant things. It’s just nonstop. Soon as she wakes up and throughout the whole damn day!!
Constructive criticism if I may. Your voice volume is lower than the intro audio (0:18). Your voice volume is low enough to draw our attention in. Which is good, but the louder intro disrupts that attention. If the it was at the same volume, it would be better. Other than that, I thought the video was good. Your actual content held my may attention, I felt it was engaging, and flowed well. Good Job
I work with a woman who won’t stop talking. She takes over from me. It can be half an hour after my shift finishes and she’s still talking. I just get up and walk out these days. She’s still talking as I close the door and leave 🙄
what causes people to ramble non stop? were they always like this their whole life like its part of their personality? do they really not realize how they are? I have family members and friends who never ever shut their mouth. just rambling and in between breaths, still talk with "so anyways", "and stuff " "so yeah". like you can't get a word in and when you do, they cut you off or dimiss what you just said. but wanna talk all about their problems and same stories over and over from their life. it makes me anxious and drained. makes me wanna not hang around as much, and I'm starting to think of excuses to not hang out.
Put up good boundaries to protect yourself or extricate yourself from relationships with them. Otherwise, these types will drain you dry. They either don't realize or don't care.
I understand this “person” your describing. But the person I’m dealing with I don’t that ms the issue. He values himself a lot. He just won’t stfu . 😂. Thanks for the video
I am deal with a mentally challenged roommate who talks too much they talk non stop ,they wake me up every morning at 4 am banging stuff making a huge mess they don't help with chores
No life selfish trash of a human I hate these people. They cannot stand the silence and the peace. They want noise whether from their voice tv phone rings drama or talking nonsense for hours. They're all the same like damn robots. Move away. My life became mine when I left these crazy noise drugged people.
I'd much rather have text than rambling on for two hours in my ear. But these type of people not satisfied with texting. They gotta spew into your eardrum.
Oh my god. The worst is WHEN THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY 😭 Like... my aunt is killing me. But I can't break our contact... That's my mom's sister. We don't even see her more than a couple times a year but she's insane. This woman just can't stop and I'll never tell her. It feels too rude :( She is way older than me. I feel like it's too disrespectful and she would definitely get mad 😭
Someone i met only this year but quickly came to love and care deeply for fits into this category and it seems to be escalating in the wake of a recent string of deaths and other emotional trials (many of which are exacerbated by his negligence regarding self-care, namely facilitated by imposed insomnia/appetite loss i.e. stimulant abuse, as well as severe co-dependency and obviously severe anxiety). I've recognized many of the symptoms of these conditions as I suffer from many myself and encourage him to prioritize his needs over other's and seek treatment, to no avail, so I constantly worry about his wellbeing but due to my own PTSD, I have a limited tolerance for being "talked at" and on occasion become so triggered after lengthy sessions of attempting to address, pleading for him to grant me a mere 30 seconds to talk uninteruped, and ultimately "enduring" that behavior that I eventually am left with no other option but to plead/demand he leave or to flee (even my own dwelling) to grant myself much needed reprieve from that highly triggering scenario. Initially i resigned it to the most extreme case of ADHD I've ever encountered, but literally last night I realized it and posed to him the high likelihood of that behavior stemming from his anxiety. I suggested l-theanine to him early on in our acquaintance and suggested benzodiazepans to help manage it, but of course, neither have been explored or implimented with any regularity, if at all, with professional treatment recommendations following suite. He's the most beautiful being I've ever crossed paths with, though I know my own substantial unwellness is at least partly responsible for my profound affinity to him, as well as what makes the dynamic especially toxic/dangerous for us both. And for all of my awareness and knowledge of how detrimental this union is and threatens to be, as well as what steps I could/should take to optimize my own well-being and safeguard myself from further suffering and further aggitating my own "defects/deficits," these diseases tend to be ouroboroses by nature, feeding on themselves by the mechanisms of masochism and self-sabbotage that we almost ravenously lust after as intensely as one another, if we aren't essentially addicted to, so I am powerless to tear myself away, or "safeguard" myself in anyway, let alone him, despite my (and his) best intentions. is there any hope for us or are we as doomed as we've long recognized ourselves to be? I'm inclined to share this content with him but the title will trigger his defenses and insecurities. I know that we're poorly matched and fruitless together, though as opposites it's been my aim to somewhat impart my strengths onto him, "ideally" superseding or overwriting his "ineptitudes" (not likely or realistic, I'm aware) but he has furnished the brightest hope, most sustainable happiness, and overwhelmingly the least, though at times the greatest, amount of loneliness I've been privy to in years (not to mention resurrected my libido with A VENGEANCE) . . . . so, am I wrong to grant myself any and every sliver of happiness this fleeting encounter may afford? Seeing how, if it's not all that's accessible to me in this life, there's no doubt that's all i've ever grant myself? After all, YOLO and at least I'm aware of and embrace the hard truth and impermanence of it all.
Work with a guy like this, can't escape him, wouldn't mind but the majority of it is bull, he's driving me mad........ i NEED it to stop, I'm literally loosing my mind listening to this drivel...............
Some people are great at monologing and they will keep going with a whole narrative that is emotionally interesting to them but is completely besides the point. In fact they are very common place. Whether type A or type B, it is maddening. Type A can seem like they are saying something relevant when they just aren't. Type B can seem like they need help but they just don't want it.
What do you do with the person you save to them so how was your morning and they end up giving you a detailed explanation for example my morning was okay except for the cats had overturn the litter box and I had to clean up the litter box and I stepped into some vomit so that took me sometime and then my husband he left me a message and I did see it on my phone into it was too late so I forgot my key to the car so I have to come back and on the way over here I had to stop in at the gas station and get gas because I forgot the gas and night before and then my bladder was filled and before you know it I had to run into the gas station and get the key to the washroom only to find out that the washing was not available so I had to drive down the road to McDonald's and grab myself something to eat so that I could use the washer because you know you don't want to use the washroom without buying something and then I noticed when I was coming out I looked at my tire and the front tire was flat a little blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah talk about nerve-wracking so now I say tell me in one sentence how your morning was and if she continues I say stop right there no more that is more than one sentence and she'll say well I want to tell you more and I say well I don't want to hear more do you get it and she kind of looks at me and I say well answer me do you get it I do not want to hear any more shall I repeat that I do not want to hear any more
i listened to this for the 1st 2 minutes n used the advice as a tool to combat a friend's over talking who would'nt listen n they suddenly realised they were not listening. worked like a charm. we had a very good discussion n resolved a few issues.
You mentioned the word listening I am a talker I go on and on and on and on but cannot listen when I am talking I need to listen I need to learn to listen and that would automatically control the talking. Yes I am a talker. But I have tried that before and when I don't say nothing the other side they don't say nothing either so when both parties don't say a thing what do you say that is nothing no conversation come on
Just because they are talking don’t make eye contact do the opposite ignore them, cut them off and change the topic. Frustrating the speaking confusing them will rebuttal the need to talk more
What about people who are always claiming that they did this and did that? And boasting what they are planning to do? The “Been there, done that”. person
Just was with a lady who has experienced every single ailment you can think of, and yet is still able to talk incessantly for hours. Diabetes, cancer, AD/HD, insomnia, dental problems, thinning hair, arthritis, gout, childbirth, droopy eyelids, pedicures, cholesterol, migraines. I mean, just name the disease and she has had it and recovered, but will spend an hour on each subject.
I'm surrounded by them! And I can't stand the fact when I want to respond to what they're saying then they changed the subject and I lose my train of thought of what I was going to say. I'm going to start introducing all these over talker's the American Indian talking stick. It shows how to discipline yourself and listen intently. Also shows the overtalker, to really think deeply about what they're speaking of. Instead of rambling on about things that have no importance.
Being an introvert and hearing constant babbling is maddening . Literally exhaust me.
Im an extrovert and these people drive me crazy just the same to where I want to be alone for hours
I’m an introvert as well & when folks babble to me I feel like I’m slowly imploding at a snails pace
Yes!!!
I know what you mean. My wife and son talk and make noise constantly. I feel like I'm going around in a constant state of frustration and aggravation. I can't even listen to an entire song in a vehicle without being interrupted several times. Introverts should not marry extroverts. They make me feel like I'm going crazy. And until I found this video I felt like the only one.
Sometimes I feel like I want to join in and have fun but it's just too overwhelming to take it all in at once. It's like my mind just can't absorb it in a useful way.
I can relate. I work in retail so have to deal with people for hours, then someone will keep me talking when i feel exhausted and just want to be alone.
I’d rather be alone than with someone who talks too much, over talks me or hushes me. I attract these people because I’m kind but these people are draining.
I like the way you put it I read a little bit of what you said you rather be alone than to be with a person that's a talker that overwhelms you. If you're not able or willing to receive that's when it's better to be alone you see it's not the other person's problem it is both people problem two people that give too much information and one that does not have the capability to receive all of it that's a problem on both ends
that's like going to the dance and you're all pumped up ready to dance all over that dance floor and the person is just standing there that would seem improper correct but if that is how the person dances that must be respected
I just got back from a vacation with a talker. He hushed me, began sentences when I said things with, “that doesn’t matter.” Ultimately to him, only his thoughts and opinions mattered. I enjoy listening and learning new things and sharing experiences. Again this week, I decided to have a FaceTime chat with a man I was considering dating and for 25 minutes he spoke about himself and the material processions he had. He showed me all,the cars he owned and how he was going to take me out on a date in his Mercedes. At one point he said, “I’ll shut up and let you talk,” but that never happened. When I finally got to speak I said politely, “nice to meet you but I have some work to get to.” After I texted him, that I wished him well but we are not a match.
@@rachelhope3161 first impression are very strong. Since I am a talker and when I come across another talker like me I listen but we all have our limits but I know who's in front of me. In the middle of the conversation well the other person's conversation I said time limits I'm going to give you 2 minutes then I take over in 2 minutes you take over until the 2 minutes are no longer needed. I don't want to tell you how to run your life but my advice it's only an advice don't cancel him just because of the first impression. From my experience with the talkers that I have come across they are very giving and they push a lot. If you're an independent woman you may think I don't need nothing for nobody it's not like that well it hasn't been like that but everybody has their turn whenever you will be in need I believe that he will be there for you so don't cancel him yeah it seemed like I'm going on his defense I kind of am for your good. And remember the 2 minutes that way you can squeeze your 2 minutes worth also and you don't have to talk based on whatever he said you can also say whatever is in your mind that you feel that is strong and good because you also have your brain and you are intelligent and you have intelligent thoughts and intelligent words come out of your mouth not everything a person says is of any value sometimes it's just one word that can change the world your world or you change his world and hopefully the change isn't a positive note good luck in your decision and good luck in whatever you do God bless you from now and forever
@@rachelhope3161 ps and mention from the start your money and your personal belongings are yours I'm not interested in that but I am interested in you becoming mine and only mine and I don't have to force that it just has to be given to me and only to me make it clear from the start what you're in to get out of it good luck
You can’t have any kind of conversation with someone who talks excessively
Frustrating isn't it.......thanks for watching Sharl!
Especially when they are talking abt absolutely nothing 🤬🤬
If you fully listen you will never be able to say a thing as The person talks at somewhere in the middle you squeeze your words also and you say what's in your mind you see
How about this when you like who you talking with yeah you're talking with that means you're the one that does not shut up how about that idea
@@lolapatton5444 is absolutely nothing to The Listener because the listener is not listening at all if they were to open their mind a little bit and their ears they might just hear the words of the other person
Last night I was victimized for 6 hours of uninterrupted monologue. I’m still recovering and I feel emotionally drained and resentful.
I've been sitting up sleep and the person was still talking to me
Same. Wtf. And I don’t care about their ‘underlying anxieties’, I just want them to SHUT THE HELL UP. 😣
My heart goes out to you. Victimized is the perfect word to describe this abusive behavior. It's exhausting to get trapped that way. Rest up and tell yourself, "Never again!" You can do it!
Yep, just happened to me driving a coworker for 4 hours. I am drained/exhausted and agitated.
imagine this every fucking day
My mother in law would talk for hours. It was borderline abusive. I was and still am convinced this is a narcissistic trait.
Absolutely! Cause when you can get a word in, your word is completely ignored. Like they are deaf to your word!!!
Yeeesssssss💯
Join the club
I had a work colleague who talked endlessly. People avoided her like the plague 😂😂😂
This guy who just doordashed my breakfast was just rambling to me for almost 5+ minutes about anything he could possibly think of. I know 5 minutes doesn't seem like a lot time but when your poached eggs are getting cold standing in 30 degree weather it feels like an hour. And that's why I'm here. If you're someone who is an over talker, pleasseee try to read the other person's gestures and posture or any physical signs that they want to move along.
😭 that why I make them leave my food at my front door
Sounds like some dude named Matt 🤭😂 omg he never shuts up!!!
As a delivery person I couldn't imagine doing that. I try to get in and out quickly, time is money
Sometimes it's because they are on the autism spectrum and cannot read others socially.
People who can’t shut up are energy vampires.
My friend was rambling for way too long, I was on my phone completely ignoring him to see if he would get the clue, he didn't. So I told him that I wasn't listening at all for the past 20 minutes or something. He responded with "ok I'm just gonna finish this ramble" and proceeded to finish talking about the topic, looking at nothing. I then realized he doesn't talk for other people to listen
Yes they talk to hear themselves
I feel very annoyed by people who simply fight with everybody and talk way too much.
Yes, king! These people are DRAINING and boundaries are a must
Isolation would be really good for you
@@joesanders4605 It doesn't seem to be fixable. I have a friend that will talk 24/7 and if anyone else tries to talk they get shot down like a clay pigeon. The truth is everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame and compulsive talkers do not let anyone have the air time. People then go running for the hills. The talker then asks, "What did I say?"
I just want to hear the friggin' television.
And then they wonder why no one cares about them, but they get offended if you interrupt them. You can leave them and never talk to them again, I’ve done it but it’s better to give them an explanation just so hopefully you save someone else a headache(ear ache!) down the road.
I guess the answer is to dump them and/or ignore them.
@@joesanders4605the pandemic didn’t affect me… I liked staying home and also not having crowds when I went out
I’m a Barber, it happens when I’m working, doesnt bother me there...
BUT!!! ......
-What brought me here is when I was attempting to have a decent conversation with my neighbor and he TOOK OVER WITH Nonsensical BABBLE!
WAY OFF SUBJECT, and JUST A HOT MESS! -
Nothing REMOTELY INTERESTING TO ADD,
OVER TIME, OVER EXPLAINING, TOO MANY WORDS, to the point I’m like..
WHO CARES!
Please CALL A THERAPIST BEFORE I CHARGE YOU.
You see that is the problem no interest in your part that's when two people collide. And obviously what you had to say was of no interest to the other person and that's when two people collide it's not that one is wrong and the other one is right is that they simply collide
@@joesanders4605 omg dude get some help already
I have to deal with overtalkers on the daily. They talk for 5 minutes before I get to give a 10 second response, and then they resume another 5 minute ramble. I find it rude and view these individuals as less emotionally intelligent because I am always giving people much more respect than they give me. These people would never see it as rude though; they love talking, especially about themselves. How do I deal with individuals like this when I have to deal with them every day?
@unkle 123 no you're fine. Sometimes you just need a good rant. That's different than ranting on all the time about nothing and sucking up everybody's mental space like a vacume with no cognizance whatsoever about what you are even sucking up.
It sounds like in your case you might be exposed to extroverts who are more interested in knowing you than you are about being known. You have to sit quietly and respectfully with an introvert to actually get to know them. Their secrets come out of the quiet spaces.
The narcissists who are talking on and on are usually not interested in asking you questions or anything about you at all. It's all them them them and they'll view your communications as an affront unless it's communication about them directly. Unless they are interested in getting something salacious about you or information they can use against you later. I mean at least these people are asking you questions about you, so they may just be far more social and extroverted than you are comfortable with.
There are also a lot of busy bodies and people who need a lot from the outside to fill up their own shallow emptiness. They have little depth, they are empty headed and always just busy with outside things to distract them.
And yes narcissists fancy that they know you because they are *projecting* what they think you are based on some past experience with someone else. We all do this some but with the narc that's all they really need to believe they know you. But they don't, they can't because they never shut up long enough or care enough to find out until it benefits them somehow. You are nothing but a small notation, a footnote, in a book that's all about them.
You mentioned the word rude. To your intrepidation the other person was rude to my interpretation you are being rude for not listening or not having the ability to that is not the other person's fault that is your own
@@joesanders4605 sorry, your comment is a bit incoherent and I don't understand your full point. Moreover according to your logic I can assume that you obviously know nothing about me and my listening skills. I have found that the only answer in these situations is to adopt a very small contained amount of psychopathy and turn the situation into an equal exchange; when somebody wants to talk for five minutes straight about how highly they think of themselves or some boring aspect of their job that nobody cares about, it is my job to show myself the respect that they are not, and that is for my time. In such situations if I try to interrupt and fail, I walk away.
There are far more talkers than listeners in the world, and I have wasted too much time listening to those who won't do the same in return.
@@Jakoshi I like everything you said. Is not a problem when a person thinks extremely positive of themselves but I like to think that you also think positive of yourself and it would only be right for the other end to also listen to you because I'm sure you have something to say you're an intelligent person and all that is good and when they don't give you the room of course you must walk away when they don't give you the time they make you feel ugly and I speak for myself when somebody makes me feel ugly I walk away and very good chances I don't come back
I always find pretending to be deaf a practical option.
Because of the "excessive talker," I couldn't get a word in edgewise to suggest that i talk to them at a later time, so i just laid my phone down, went to wash my hands, went into the kitchen, and fixed myself an elaborate sandwich, poured a drink, came back near my phone, didn't even pick the phone up, but i could hear him still rambling on, he didn't even realize i was off the phone. ---- I sat there and enjoyed eating my sandwich, ....and he was still talking, talking, talking.
😂😅😃i have done that too!😃😄😅
Okay, my sister is like this, but she's also borderline abusive, too. On top of that, she does these little pauses where you have to say, "uh huh, uh huh, yep, ok, yes, uh huh, I agree, uh huh, really!?" every 30 words to ensure you're still listening...
THEN, after she's ranted for an hour, she then wants you to give an extremely brief (15 second) recap/analysis/advisement. _Then_ she goes on another rant about how your "opinion" is wrong to her way of thinking, she doesn't agree and what she _really_ _reeeeallly_ thinks about what she already said during the first rant - which is completely different the second time around.
We haven't talked in several days because I'm at the end of my tether. She told me that I need psych meds and counseling because I couldn't help her move heavy furniture due to me having five herniated discs.
Lastly, the first three days I had covid with the headache and 102.7° fever, she called ranting three hours each day. As I lay in my bed with covid..
I had to end a long friendship with a blabbering friend after begging her over and over to control herself. It caused me intolerable pain and anxiety. Fight/flight stress. She could not stop, and could not understand that being in her presence was to feel assaulted.
Obviously you did not pay attention to what was coming out of her mouth. But now that she is not in front of you you can look back and try try good luck and try to see what was coming out of her mouth but that might be too much information for you to receive all at one time you might not have the capability or the ability to
Energy draining.
@@joesanders4605 but that's just it; I *did* pay attention, and it was a waste of effort. Nothing was being said. Nonsense and noise. The whole point being to get all available attention, and to provoke frustration and ultimately, disgust and dislike. It is a pathology and bullying manipulation.
I ghosted a longtime "friend" after I just COULD NOT listen to her drone on and on for one more minute!!! And YES! it is a form of abuse/using for the listener...its miserable, and so selfish of the talker. BYE stalkers!!!!
@@lisbethbird8268 Joe doesn’t get it because Joe might be the talker. They don’t get it. If it’s not asperger I’m not listening. Sorry, not sorry. Why do I have to subject myself to that type of psych torture? It’s narcissistic. Very selfish and downright rude. Then the second you open your mouth they interrupt. Maybe no one listens to them. So I give many days of free rambling hours so I can give them a chance to get it out of their chest. But it doesn’t change. That’s when I’m out. Nope. It’s insane how they don’t shut up. INSANE level yapping. Yammering on on on on on on on on on on on on on on MY GOD!
Empty vessels make the most noise
Woah that's deep
Wow👏
When I was in middle school, I had a music teacher who was a compulsive talker. She talked so much that some days we barely played our instruments at all and a bunch of kids quit altogether.
😂😂😂 OMFG I would've snapped !!!!
Our issue is, we're people pleasers. We don't wanna hurt their feelings even if it comes at a cost
The worst thing is when you're too polite a person so you pretend that you're interested in what the person is talking about.
I’ve stood there, literally standing at the door even after telling this person I had to pee and this guy kept rambling on and me, being too polite, just stood there pretending to listen ….. my mother interceded and said “let her go to the bathroom!” And he says, “Who’s stopping her?”
I dont think I'm polite... I just dont snap back at every little thing. There's this female in my class for ex. She's always answering questions to questions I ask the teacher. I feel like she's going out of her way to front brilliance & maybe an attempt to belittle me. I just get this annoyed look on my face & I know the professor picks up on it. She's this aggressive & cut off about alotta things. Will "joke" in ... rude ways, like the teacher kicking me out of a course bc blah. I honestly don't even think she's all that compassionate. Maybe a little better @ faking it - temporarily. But oozes the chatty boo boo pet name vibes ish. Which isn't even recommended. But in the same sense, I've seen her speak to ppl w/ no filter & not even be aware of her own mouth. I just think it's weird, dont think myself as that damn special, & I sure as hell dont think she's all that smart. Instead she'll just leave me wondering where the hell does that even come from... & she only does it to me. So, there's these final state exam things that we gotta get done. & I was like,"is it gonna be like the mixture of all the tests we took in this class?" Her: it's gonna be alotta common sense stuff. The teacher: 😒go over the reviews I'm gonna be giving u guys & u should be fine... this is nursing stuff btw. But the student: I mean, I just know bc ppl say.... me: I don't really go by what ppl say. Come to find out she failed our last test. & here I'm just thinking 😋 what's the lowest I could get & still pass this class? U know what? Nevermind. I'm sure ppl look at these things, & I should try a bit harder. & then the class ended & someone was like how do we find our average...? Then there was a line up & she got in like & my polite self in my head 😒 _bruh, im out. They teach u that sh prob in ms. Possibly electronic I don't even remember. Reteach u that sh in idk :/. Hs, college,,, But that really is 1 of those more basic more daily things 🙄... u really should know_ & like let me stay excited about this sh? Like like ugh, im so over ppl b4 they even get a chance to be in my space somexs.
Yep. That’s me. My boss has had me almost in tears because I just didn’t have it in me to interrupt or be rude. I started to feel like I was in a trance. I continued to acknowledge the stuff he was saying but kept trying to drop hints that my wife is wanting me home. He didn’t care. He had me for almost 4 hours. This moment literally changed my life and opened up an entire new side of me. It happened again recently but luckily after 2 hours someone kept calling him and when he answered the phone, I bolted. From that day forward I swore to never let it happen again. Even though I am very polite, the way I look at it is: if they are too rude and abusive to your basic human contact then you HAVE to be rude and interrupt and tell them you have to go.
I'm afraid to set boundaries but the incessant talking is driving me crazy. I wish this video spent more time on the how-to of setting boundaries.
Another curious phenomenum is rattling off needless conversation at warp speed to give a false impression that there is an inherent sophistication or intelligence being shown....in the end... Empty cans rattle the most 😉
Duckspeak
I really like that! ‘Empty cans rattle the most’ I’m using that myself!
A dear friend rambles on and usually negative. It is like I’m a dump site for his emotions. When he calls, I tell him I have 10 minutes until I have to be somewhere.
Good idea about having to be somewhere. Knowing how they operate though, they'll want to know your business and how it went when you get back. I have the same type of friend, always something to bring you down.
You made me laugh. I've also had to sick the timer on phone calls. White lies are sometimes a lifesaver!
That's basic survival tool with such people. And I got a bunch of these tools.
@@rses916 Teach me. Please. There’s a kid on my bus constantly talking about the most mundane shit, ignoring every hint that I’m not interested in his conversations and ever since he got ahold of my phone number, he’s been constantly calling me and inviting me to do random shit. Of course, I never pick up the phone but he never relents. And I’m too nice to tell this kid to just STFU. I need all your wisdom please
Thank you , you are so right! People that talk a lot push people away. You think twice about even asking them how they ate doing. I know this particular person that the second they see me they ramble and ramble and I just want to walk away. My body language yells it, and they still won't shut up🤦♀️ they continue to talk about themselves and all their plans and I honestly am not interested 😑
Even if you spell it out, repeatedly, in no uncertain terms, they still can't stop. Try it. Someone may be autistic or just plain too self centered to understand body language. But I tried being clear without showing anger. It didn't work. It seemed almost like an invitation to them to Gambia even more. I think they enjoy missing people off because they think that proves something.?
Oh my God, yes! I have literally stopped even asking how a couple of people like this are doing. The way they either don't notice or don't care when you're giving clear signals that you need to leave just infuriates me! Some combination of narcissism and stupidity is at work there. I'll take the long way around to avoid passing one's desk. She's like a parasite, she just starts leeching shamelessly off anyone foolish enough to give her the slightest attention. And she'll flap around the office like a vampire bat to find someone to feed her vampiric void. If too many of us avoid her at once, she seems to literally panic. I actually suspect there's something demonic going on there, so it's frightening to be around her. No self-awareness, no consideration for others. Just shameless.
Why do they think we wanna hear their voice for more than 10 minutes.
@@rses916 🤣🤣Exactly 💯
I have a friend who keeps talking non stop. His last visit was unbearable I never wanna see him again. He is so draining. I didn't even have time to hear my own thoughts. People asked me why I just don't tell him but he leaves me no room to think at all. I need to be able to think things I wanna say through and he kept talking and talking. He even bothers people on the bus saying creepy things and just talking, talking. I'm so sick of it. I have to block him on social media etc cause he also keeps on texting non stop. He does not even care if I answer. I thought maybe he is autistic or something like that but I don't care anymore, I have adhd and I need my peace too.
How about when someone is talking about the same topics several times a day everyday after it’s been long discussed?
Omg why do they do that do they have amnesia?
It so annoying i wonder why ppl tlk a lot
@@glorihulda933 some people have issues with not being payed attention to
@@Bigjay88888 it annoying n stresin
@@glorihulda933 True. This goes for those that just talk talk talk talk and talk, and u have no space for input. Instead they start talking again after a 10 minute rant when all u want is at least 30 secs.
God Damn. I just got back from the beach with my kids and my parents. My dad talked nonstop for 2.5 hours. I ended up not having a good time and getting a massive headache. It makes me not want to spend time with them.
I have a very close relative who is like this. We are back to being close but we didn't talk for almost a year because she refused to acknowledge how she over talked and out talked everyone m it took people severing relationships with her for it to really stick. She was actually prescribed meds for anxiety. It has helped a lot.
I have a friend that talks so much that sometimes I have kicked him out because I was tired after a long day of work. He talks about boring stuff that I have no interest in. What to do?
Maybe you dealt with it since you posted.
Do what i did?
After knowing this guy 18 years since school i finally got sick of him. His narcissism, he wouldn't shut up about HIM and his stuff, stuff he'd been banging on about 15 years, often stopping himself mid sentence then going off in another direction, his alcohol hangovers which wasted my time and a whole ton of annoyances.
But NEVER stage an exit. Leave without fuss out the back door. Just don't return calls or be taciturn, bored and indifferent when dealing with them. Then cease contact. Abruptly without fanfare.
Last i saw of him was 20 years ago. I had to find reasons to walk him out the house TWICE that day. It was an ordeal.
I'm trying to figure out how to deal with one of these people now and it's been making me feel so tired and angry all the time. If I leave the room she starts singing or loudly talking to herself. It's absolutely ceaseless. I'm losing my mind.
You really need to make it clear that you won't tolerate it.period. You are actually at risk, mental health -wise, if you don't. The problem is, the Blabbermouth probably won't even hear you, or won't think what you are saying is of any importance. I ended up truly hating someone like that, and I don't recommend it. Try to spare yourself that pain, at the very least.
@@lisbethbird8268 it's hard to keep calm about it. One time she talked the entirety of a three hour car ride and another passenger actually cried. I just don't get it. How can someone do this to people?
@@ByCatJ I understand. I once ran crying out of my own house, and stayed out for the better part of an hour. It was during Hurricane Sandy. (but far inland, so really more like a severe windy storm). I don't get it either. It seems like the listener's fight or flight nervous system can be triggered. (If you're trapped without a way to escape, like you were, this can lead to symptoms of ptsd. Truly.) The talker is acting out some kind of defense or control mechanism or delusion or anxiety or mania...or personality disorder or brain disorder or something. They have a problem. Just please protect yourself. I thought I could tolerate this behavior...for years...but it turns out, I couldn't, and it derailed my life.
Buy ear plugs
She has something wrong..very nervous, or anxious or some other condition. Leave her a gentle worded note to seek medical help or therapy, it could possibly resolve quickly with anti-anxiety meds. And long term with talk therapy to ease the anxiety condition.
This is by far the most frustrating trait a person can have. Someone I work with does this so bad that I regularly go to the bathroom and stay in there a very long time to get away from it and her voice is constantly shouting from the other room without me responding to anything and when it’s home time, it’s almost impossible to finish on time because they just keep talking whilst I’m walking out the door, there have been times where I have finished one hour late. It sends my anxiety levels are through the roof.
I can totally relate, trying to get out the door without having to listen to 30 minutes of boring chat has become my work nightmare... oh and the VOICE saying... 'quick question?' before I even turn my computer on in the morning... and then that VOICE just bombards me all day... and then I'm expected to stand around and listen to her talk about herself at the end of the day as well? 😟
I'm learning that my presence and listening is valuable and I don't have to be a series of skits for 1-3 hours at a time.
Just spent a long weekend with my husband's college roommates and their wives here at my home (overnight for 3 days). One man and one woman never shut up about themselves. Whenever there was the tiniest space where one stopped talking, the other would take over. Occasionally, a "civilian" would try to maybe change the subject and they were talked over. This was at my home, and they are both gone home this morning and I feel like I am reborn and released from some sort of prison. We usually only see these people one time a year, yet I have heard their stories over and over.
I feel surrounded by these people who talk at me 😓 I keep trying to work on myself to talk more but it feels forced. I’m thoughtful and will contribute when there’s chance but I clearly need to set boundaries without feeling guilty. How do you even do that 🤦🏼♀️ I feel so lonely but I’m not getting anything from the company around me. Thank you for this vid
I feel exactly the same living in a dorm 🙈 I am trying to value myself as I am, but I always end up thinking that I am wrong for being more quiet then them. Did you get better at this since you wrote this comment? I would like to hear about it
Somexs I really go by kill ppl w/ kindness. Got ppl prob believing that I really am a push over and that I really do like them. Like I'm just trying to tolerate your ass & trying to find my exit when I can. It's not always bc im just so mysterious, distant & quiet or wever. It really is bc I find u fn intolerable. I get so good at that tho I hafta watch myself. Trying to crack jokes throughout my days like maybe they're not so bad... it doesn't usually take long tho..
More people just need to be comfortable with silences.
It’s not you
My boss at work talks to much to the point where i even hate his company around me its mentally draining i dont know how to put an end to it in a nice way
Its so draining....try and do more of what you want to do, enjoy your hobbies and distance yourself from these types of people
I live with my dad that can't stop rambling when he drinks. He's never not drinking. It's caused some sort of trauma in me and now I isolate every day so nobody will talk to me.
Same but with my flatmate iv even batterd him and on the floor covered in red he still won't shut up....
@@nicholascameron2263 lmao wth 😂
Yeah isolating is so important when dealing with these people. You can get ptsd from such nonstop- talking -crap people.
I have a whole loudmouthed Italian family that suffers from CSFU. Can't Shut the F@#& Up! Glad the holidays only come once a year! Lol
Yooo! My family is the same way and it gets so loud be a use everyone is talking over each other. Then when the "quiet one" tries to chime in, they all look at you like your crazy and says you are too loud.
I married into a Christian fam that mainly hides behind the image. Imagine being told to humble yourself bc u want more stability & structure in ur life. And they ironically have a history on substances u wouldn't even touch on ur worse days. I'm not a judgemental person but the behavior is poor. I'm not jeezenums. I don't hand out that many passes. I'm human. Not naive, gullible, an atm or the all the right answers I never get cred for... & if the worst way I could ever entertain my flesh is just by adulting or being a mother you're just honestly scraping for crumbs just to find something to Hate on 🙄... they even pulled the but you're not saved and baptized and I'm so well versed in my studies 😇 & right. You truly r some genuine guidance. I mean truly 😒
Thank you for this video. This is highly insightful for me. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I am completely silent. I found you by researching work related videos of co workers who talk a lot and found you.
I just started a new job and I told my friend(not at my job), "First day was good, but the people training me are lazy and talk non stop about nothing." Their response was it doesn't matter. Just focus on you. I'm trying, but they have to train me.
And they are right. But I just want to focus on my job and learn from them. I don't want to be rude. So, I will smile and share things I am comfortable with.
I'm very introverted(except with a close few), but learning to small talk even though I hate it. I feel like these co workers go on and on about the dumbest stuff.
In summary, I just want to work there. I don't care if I make friends.
I guess what I'm asking is, is it ok to just say I don't want to share anything(I also like making friends, but that's not what I think about at work.). I just want to focus on my work. And, also is it ok to be so introverted? I'm very happy alone, but I do get a lot of anxiety around non stop talkers. Sorry for the long reply. I am ok with written expressions, but verbal blah blah diarrhea, I just can't deal with it. Thanks again for the video!
Thank you. I need to revisit this video in the future when I am stressed and think deeply before I start rambling. My social skills are lacking. Instead of receiving validation and comfort while I’m stressed it’s actually triggering more rejection and making my anxiety worse. I don’t intend to aggravate my friends, but they feel like I’m wasting their time. I need to find a better way to sort my ideas without burdening others.
What helped me from rambling was ‘making words count’ it’s helped tremendously take out any filler words or words that have no purpose aka talking about nonsense
I have somebody that comes over to my place twice a week she goes on and on and on and she's a care aide and I need her but when I have said to her please be quiet she won't stop and then I say it again please be quiet and then I say it in the different way with a raised voice I don't want you to talk anymore at this time and she still goes on and on and then my voice goes up and I say look at it I need you to understand one thing right now I need not to talk about this subject let's stop at let's put it to an end but she'll go on and on and trying to explain herself and I said to her I heard what you said I don't want to hear any more and then she's got me to the point where I have yelled at her and told her to shut the hell up and then she says why you yelling at me and I say things like why don't you understand bimbo you got me to this point and I've had to get out away from her and she still be talking in the car in the house whatever and I can't handle her our friendship is almost finished because of this and I've tried and tried and tried cheese been so hard on my nerves she's a very nice person she's a good person she's helpful she's crying she's got all those good qualities except I want to stick a sock in her mouth it's like what part of her does she not understand normally if somebody said to me would you please be quiet you might say one or two words after but when somebody tells you the second time you're smart enough to know to get the message
I avoid people wgho go on and on about nothing. Also people who tell all their business and everyone else's business. I dont have patience for people who talk too much, I give ONE warning.
Tip: Mix your audio levels so they are consistent. People may have earbuds in and your intro sound is very loud compared to your voice and if they put the volume up loud enough to hear you, and then that music plays, that can damage their eardrums.
Right i could barely hear his voice so I turned up the volumn then boom loud music. My first time watching here and I wear a headset.
I think the audio was perfect on my end. Sounds perfect on my TV (with and without headphones)
@@j.s.8286 you might not have noticed I referred to people using earbuds in my comment, when you decided to reply for whatever reason that it’s ok over your tv.
@@j.s.8286 congratulations
@@j.s.8286 you seem like one of these people he’s talking about who can’t stop talking. Maybe take his advice. You apparently spend your time searching UA-cam comments, looking for strangers that have had a personal experience and then telling them that you didn’t have the same experience as them. Is that a worthwhile way to spend your life? It’s Saturday afternoon, maybe find something else more productive or more fun to do. Do you have a friend or family member who you could call that might really like to hear from you. Maybe you could read a book, paint a picture, learn a new recipe or volunteer at a local charity. Soon, this life will be over, and your comment here will be your contribution to humanity. Does that seem like a worthwhile use of your time? Concerning yourself with questioning other people’s perceptions, gaslighting and trolling strangers on the internet, that’s not very noble at all. Aim higher. I offered the author constructive advise to help him and his viewers, people clearly have had a similar experience. I didn’t put a poll out asking if you agree with me or not. Your unsolicited disagreement accomplishes nothing but creates conflict and wastes people’s time. If you liked the audio levels then wonderful, keep moving onward, or go make your own comment instead of being a provocateur.
I'm here because I've spent 3 days with someone who would not stop jabbering on. I thought maybe there's something wrong with me because I felt suffocated by the non stop onslaught of words with no meaning. Just an endless commentary. I shut down by day 3. Literally gave up even trying to respond. Coming here has made me realise I'm not alone with not being able to cope with that. Thankyou.
They say 93% of communication is non verbal,So listen to them 7% of the time,
Other then that it's all in circles.
Sometimes people can't sit still and be quiet for 10 minutes or even five minutes they always have to be flapping their lips I enjoy quietness I enjoy having a conversation where you are in a tennis match somebody hits the ball you hit it back somebody hits the ball you hit it back but with a rambler with a motor mouth it's like playing tennis and having 20 balls hit that you all at once and you're trying to dodge them you're trying to hit them and then you're so exhausted
I absolutely hate this especially when dealing with relatives I absolutely hate them.
I have a coworker that can’t stop yapping, they even call people to talk to at 6am in the morning waiting to clock in for work.
Gurlll me too. Im like"who are these people?" They be looking for narcissistic supply as soooon as they get to work.
If people talk to much , but on top of that make no sense and stay stupid things , that's even worse!
Lmao
Maybe now I can concentrate when i'm playing a game as my brother keeps blabbering on.
My mom is like this she talks about people I tell her I don't care ive even put on my anc heaphones and ill check like 15 mins later and she is still taking im just like how has she not notice I don't care all I can think is its some form of mental illness
It is it's a coping mechanism
She is a narcissist
My housemate won't shut up FOR A MINUTE.. when she's done talking for hours, she starts humming.. as that can't go for long, she'll put loud music in stupid foreign language and it's DRIVING ME UP THE WALL.. I can't listen or focus on my own things or really just have a quiet moment on the ONE day I stay at home weekly.. WTFFF
I’ve dealt with a person like this for YEARS and it causes me to almost hate him and infuriates me.
I’ve had him telling every last stinking detail of working on some piece of machinery that I cannot and do not wish to picture in my mind and told him I didn’t want to hear about it and he says, “I don’t care. I want to say it.”
He very well knows he’s driving family insane with this garbage, but still cannot curb it much.
Wow his reply was disgusting wth.
Damn! At this point I would just stop listening all together. Just go about your business and do not engage. Let them talk to the back of your head as you go about your business. Put in headphones, read something on your phone, or just plain walk away. Be prepared for them to accuse you of being a narcissist or being insensitive etc. The very definition of "gaslighting".
is he autistic?
I crossed Europe by train with my ex and literally could not experience anything because her speaking pushed me out of my own brain. She even got angry because I looked out the window rather than at her as we passed through amazing landscapes. We may as well have been in my living room for the experience I had. In the end I got angry and everybody on the train stared at me as if I was a rapist/pedo/racist/'toxic' male.
Overtalking is exhausted!!! I get headache from overtalkers. Speaking ain't only way communicate. Eyesight, bodylanguage...
I recently had two people do this to me simultaneously. Literally talking over each other at me. One of them even started singing!
Yes, this can be a genuine medical issue,.... brain injury, traumatic event... things like that. However that is usually not the case. It is a control issue. They are well aware of what they're doing. The rush they get comes from holding people hostage. They demonstrate this by either talking louder when you try to interject, or were they will look at you once upon your initial attempt and then fixate on someone or something else.... yammering the whole time. It's not okay, and the behavior should be called out for what it is.
My wife always had a low level of logorrhea that increased X1000 after pregnancy. Today 15 years later with many fights among us as I was constantly trying to calm her and try to stop her from detonating her logorrhea on our child, we are divorcing after I got into real deep depression followed by a nervous breakdown, and our daughter was diagnosed with APD. Lesson: Don't marry women that talk too much cause they will never shut the f#$& up!
@@EepyBnnuy Keep her away from your child. It is not a matter of your child picking up this habit (logorrhea) as the results are far more complicated. Do not risk your child's mental and psychological condition. My daughter after many years of her mother's logorrhea lost self-thinking, critical thinking, her imagination, and curiosity, she had bad memory recall, lack of consetration and when started to make important decisions these were all wrong and her thoughts were shallow. School grades started to fall as lessons became harder at highschool and her friendships were very wrong choices also. I had tried to talk to her many times but in the end, seemed that she didn't accept or realize anything I was telling her about till she rejected me completely. That is the price for me being a workaholic meaning working many-many hours day and night far from home to support my family. Now everything is gone and I'm living screwed up and alone. Also from my experience with my ex-wife logorrhea will bond with psychopathic traits. So stay alert.
@@EepyBnnuy damn good luck try to avoid her as much as possible that's the only way because they'll never change. I'd go live on the other side of the country if I were you no joke.
For anyone needing practice in the "art of dissociation", spend a few hours around someone that does this and you'll be a pro in no time!
I’ve started just ignoring people and walking away from them, not even recognizing that they were even talking to me
I do this too. I'm not your tv or youtube go be entertained elsewhere its difficult when it's your bf or family member.
@@rses916 if you need to escape a conversation with someone close to you use the ,”I got to go to the restroom” excuse
It's so mind boggling for me, because on one hand I grew up under what I now understand was Emotional Incest and the very idea of talking too much just- its so laughable to me. I could NEVER talk that much! What in the world do I have to say that deserves so much of someone elses time? Those are the kinds of things I think, but then I realize my dad, and tons of other people are talk-a-holics and that's their coping mechanism. We're all so different...
Sometimes the person is knowledgable BUT they have no 'stop' button. They think downloading it all at once is the best way to communicate it. Which means I dislike being around it.
They need to pause and interact not talk AT you the whole time. The person I'm thinking of her heart intent is fine but not the delivery method.
I can't talk for 5 minutes, but I could be stuck in a rabbit hole, listening to a 1-sided convo for 5 hours. Very draining and exhausting
Years ago I had a friend which I no longer have you get on the phone with her and let her go and let her go you can put the phone back half an hour later and pick it up and she still be talkin LOL I did that just to see and sure enough I put the phone down and she was talkin for 1/2 hour she didn't even notice I was gone
I've done this, put the phone down to go do something and come back, still rambling on other end
Pure insanity.
Ugh!! I can’t deal with the over talking employee. It drives me bananas! Help!
You know what?.. Screw "healthy boundaries" because these jibber-jabbering narcissists have no boundaries, and they certainly don't respect yours! What you do is jibber-jabber right back--especially about things you know they have no interest in. I just did it, like 15 minutes ago, and the jibber-jabberer in question was happy to see me leave! I just went off about HP Lovecraft stories, just trying to "share"... right? Because they're just trying to "share" sh!t you don't care about anyway! Give 'em a taste of their own medicine, and you'll no longer be their target 🤪
I wish you were my therapist becuase you hit the nail on the head! I never shutup. And just hate. Myself.
Excellent stuff, usually a conversational narcissist talk endlessly about themselves
I want to send this to my sister but her feelings are going to be hurt 🤦🏾♀️
Lord when they want let u talk they take over the Conversation
Very helpful. Thank you so much for this video🙏
Sorry if this sounds sinister, but.. The damaged person who talks incessantly is using others as a crutch and by listening we're probably enabling them.
Is it possible that people shouldn't just be asking them to get to the point, but directly stating "ok, that was 10 minutes, can't do more, when you think out what you want to say you're welcome to come back."
Sadly this comment thread is filled with people who suffer REAL TRAUMA because they're trying to be kind listening to someone who is already defective and broken waste their time with no regard for their feelings, needs and current projects.
Let me say that again. The "Talky" doesn't care AT ALL one damn bit about the person's feelings they are talking to. Only themselves. Thus this is an act of utter carelessness and selfishness and maybe we need to see it as an act that is strictly one of selfishness. To go one step further, a violation of other person's compassion and concern or kindness. It causes others to feel guarded and conflicted.
it's not just one talkative person that's hurting. It's almost everyone they've engaged with as this changes us. And we come out of these friendships / families bitter, hesitant to engage people, hypersensitive to a "talker" who isn't the traumatized overatlker. Maybe we need to care more about ourselves and less about them.
And let's be honest, if it's not me, it's someone else, they just want someone to stare at them while they talk. None of us are better for them than others.
Let me make that clear too, Dr. Shore. NONE of us are a better friend for them as they will do this with random strangers. So it has nothing to do with who WE are, it's just the fact we're someone they know they can talk to. So if they don't care who they're incessantly talking to, then my kindness to allow them someone to talk to is clearly devalued and worthless to them.
And this is why they openly don't value others as they don't see ME any more a great friend as a guy on the bus. After all, they won't shut up long enough for me to offer insight or even jump in the car to go with them to resolve a problem together. So for them even after talking for hours, they feel we did nothing for them at all and we have no value to them either.
These people steal other peoples time, and I'm thinking we shouldn't "care" about them, as giving them an ear doesn't help them dive into their emotional abyss and figure out what the hell is wrong with themselves, or seek help.
Maybe the real solution is to just switch into "sorry, you've hit 10 minutes without a pause. That means you just want to talk, you have no need for me in this" and let the shame of that statement work it's magic.
Wow you just described me. I have noticed this in myself and I tell myself I am not going to do this and then I do it again and feel so embarrassed and I beat myself up because I can tell that person is going to avoid talking to me in the future. I definitely have to talk to my psychologist about it. It's really making it hard to work on my self esteem when I keep doing this.
I actually found out where the overtalking comes from its actually in my case anxiety. I can't stand silence between myself and others. I am anxious about what they think about me so I overshare and overtalk to not feel really uncomfortable and anxious. It took me years to figure this out.
But THEY think what they're saying is important!😵💫
this friend or aid that comes to help will not stop for a breath..she keeps saying i know i interupt, but ...its always but, but ,but..i let her know how bad it is but she really doesnt believe it..so i told her i will record her for her to hear ...one time i went into the bathroom and she was still talking, then i went down the hall way to get my mail and she was still yacking and yacking.OMY goodness.
I have two coworkers that do this, and I swear I want to punch them in the face it’s soooooo damned annoying
Thing is I could try this advice with those my family who over talk, but it would go in one ear and out the other in less than 5 minutes for many of them. If they're told to shut up they get offended I have done that and I have not cared.
Man, I could’ve used someone telling me this when I was (way) younger haha. GREAT content!
Sometimes people will talk so much they don't realize that they're gasping for air and they're not pausing it's almost like they're hyperventilating LOL
Next time give them a look of urgent anticipated interest, see if they pass out from hyperventilating
I'm an introvert who is easily annoyed by over talkers. My mother in-law moved in after loosing her spouse. She is an absolute chatter box, she talks about nothing constantly. I've learned she wasn't allowed to talk at all in her house while growing up. So there's a reason. I do ask her to get to the point often. We've had discussions about her over talking. She knows she's doing it but can't help it. Lately I just walk off. She says it's impossible to stop in the middle of a detailed story. It's almost like an OCD thing. It has to have certain steps. If the steps aren't finished she continues after I'm gone. We are going in circles and nothing is getting better. I'm thinking of creating a UA-cam channel about it. In hopes that someone help us.
People who constantly talk makes my anxiety go up and i start to feel bad cause I don’t what to say i just repeat yeah cool to everything they say. Makes me feel horrible cause I don’t want them to seem like I don’t care and that im a asshole
"until next week... I'm Brad Shore"
_next week_ BRAD OCEAN!
What about the people that ARE talking about constructive things but they just won’t stop? It’s not like she talks about unimportant things. It’s just nonstop. Soon as she wakes up and throughout the whole damn day!!
Constructive criticism if I may. Your voice volume is lower than the intro audio (0:18). Your voice volume is low enough to draw our attention in. Which is good, but the louder intro disrupts that attention. If the it was at the same volume, it would be better.
Other than that, I thought the video was good. Your actual content held my may attention, I felt it was engaging, and flowed well. Good Job
Thank you for pointing out how vapid Trisha Paytas is. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who noticed.
I work with a woman who won’t stop talking. She takes over from me. It can be half an hour after my shift finishes and she’s still talking. I just get up and walk out these days. She’s still talking as I close the door and leave 🙄
what causes people to ramble non stop? were they always like this their whole life like its part of their personality? do they really not realize how they are? I have family members and friends who never ever shut their mouth. just rambling and in between breaths, still talk with "so anyways", "and stuff " "so yeah". like you can't get a word in and when you do, they cut you off or dimiss what you just said. but wanna talk all about their problems and same stories over and over from their life. it makes me anxious and drained. makes me wanna not hang around as much, and I'm starting to think of excuses to not hang out.
Put up good boundaries to protect yourself or extricate yourself from relationships with them. Otherwise, these types will drain you dry. They either don't realize or don't care.
I understand this “person” your describing. But the person I’m dealing with I don’t that ms the issue. He values himself a lot. He just won’t stfu . 😂. Thanks for the video
I am deal with a mentally challenged roommate who talks too much they talk non stop ,they wake me up every morning at 4 am banging stuff making a huge mess they don't help with chores
No life selfish trash of a human I hate these people. They cannot stand the silence and the peace. They want noise whether from their voice tv phone rings drama or talking nonsense for hours. They're all the same like damn robots.
Move away. My life became mine when I left these crazy noise drugged people.
I bet you she is a hoarder too?
I mean I know one who is a cleaning freak and one who is a hoarder so guess it depends
The art of in person conversation is dying as social media and texting have become our primary form of communication.
I'd much rather have text than rambling on for two hours in my ear. But these type of people not satisfied with texting. They gotta spew into your eardrum.
But they even text message excessively, they will not allow feedback in their text conversations, either, --- they'll bombard you with their texts.
Better than having to listen to people talking dumb crap for hours.
This gives answers to people who talk to much and not their victims ... believe me we need to know how to handle it.
Oh my god. The worst is WHEN THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY 😭
Like... my aunt is killing me.
But I can't break our contact... That's my mom's sister.
We don't even see her more than a couple times a year but she's insane.
This woman just can't stop and I'll never tell her. It feels too rude :(
She is way older than me. I feel like it's too disrespectful and she would definitely get mad 😭
Someone i met only this year but quickly came to love and care deeply for fits into this category and it seems to be escalating in the wake of a recent string of deaths and other emotional trials (many of which are exacerbated by his negligence regarding self-care, namely facilitated by imposed insomnia/appetite loss i.e. stimulant abuse, as well as severe co-dependency and obviously severe anxiety). I've recognized many of the symptoms of these conditions as I suffer from many myself and encourage him to prioritize his needs over other's and seek treatment, to no avail, so I constantly worry about his wellbeing but due to my own PTSD, I have a limited tolerance for being "talked at" and on occasion become so triggered after lengthy sessions of attempting to address, pleading for him to grant me a mere 30 seconds to talk uninteruped, and ultimately "enduring" that behavior that I eventually am left with no other option but to plead/demand he leave or to flee (even my own dwelling) to grant myself much needed reprieve from that highly triggering scenario. Initially i resigned it to the most extreme case of ADHD I've ever encountered, but literally last night I realized it and posed to him the high likelihood of that behavior stemming from his anxiety. I suggested l-theanine to him early on in our acquaintance and suggested benzodiazepans to help manage it, but of course, neither have been explored or implimented with any regularity, if at all, with professional treatment recommendations following suite.
He's the most beautiful being I've ever crossed paths with, though I know my own substantial unwellness is at least partly responsible for my profound affinity to him, as well as what makes the dynamic especially toxic/dangerous for us both. And for all of my awareness and knowledge of how detrimental this union is and threatens to be, as well as what steps I could/should take to optimize my own well-being and safeguard myself from further suffering and further aggitating my own "defects/deficits," these diseases tend to be ouroboroses by nature, feeding on themselves by the mechanisms of masochism and self-sabbotage that we almost ravenously lust after as intensely as one another, if we aren't essentially addicted to, so I am powerless to tear myself away, or "safeguard" myself in anyway, let alone him, despite my (and his) best intentions.
is there any hope for us or are we as doomed as we've long recognized ourselves to be? I'm inclined to share this content with him but the title will trigger his defenses and insecurities. I know that we're poorly matched and fruitless together, though as opposites it's been my aim to somewhat impart my strengths onto him, "ideally" superseding or overwriting his "ineptitudes" (not likely or realistic, I'm aware) but he has furnished the brightest hope, most sustainable happiness, and overwhelmingly the least, though at times the greatest, amount of loneliness I've been privy to in years (not to mention resurrected my libido with A VENGEANCE) . . . . so, am I wrong to grant myself any and every sliver of happiness this fleeting encounter may afford? Seeing how, if it's not all that's accessible to me in this life, there's no doubt that's all i've ever grant myself? After all, YOLO and at least I'm aware of and embrace the hard truth and impermanence of it all.
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😜🤪😂😂😂😂
Work with a guy like this, can't escape him, wouldn't mind but the majority of it is bull, he's driving me mad........ i NEED it to stop, I'm literally loosing my mind listening to this drivel...............
Some people are great at monologing and they will keep going with a whole narrative that is emotionally interesting to them but is completely besides the point. In fact they are very common place. Whether type A or type B, it is maddening. Type A can seem like they are saying something relevant when they just aren't. Type B can seem like they need help but they just don't want it.
My aunt never shuts up. She will criticize me for simple things I don’t do much of but I still do more of than her
What do you do with the person you save to them so how was your morning and they end up giving you a detailed explanation for example my morning was okay except for the cats had overturn the litter box and I had to clean up the litter box and I stepped into some vomit so that took me sometime and then my husband he left me a message and I did see it on my phone into it was too late so I forgot my key to the car so I have to come back and on the way over here I had to stop in at the gas station and get gas because I forgot the gas and night before and then my bladder was filled and before you know it I had to run into the gas station and get the key to the washroom only to find out that the washing was not available so I had to drive down the road to McDonald's and grab myself something to eat so that I could use the washer because you know you don't want to use the washroom without buying something and then I noticed when I was coming out I looked at my tire and the front tire was flat a little blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah talk about nerve-wracking so now I say tell me in one sentence how your morning was and if she continues I say stop right there no more that is more than one sentence and she'll say well I want to tell you more and I say well I don't want to hear more do you get it and she kind of looks at me and I say well answer me do you get it I do not want to hear any more shall I repeat that I do not want to hear any more
i listened to this for the 1st 2 minutes n used the advice as a tool to combat a friend's over talking who would'nt listen n they suddenly realised they were not listening. worked like a charm. we had a very good discussion n resolved a few issues.
You mentioned the word listening I am a talker I go on and on and on and on but cannot listen when I am talking I need to listen I need to learn to listen and that would automatically control the talking. Yes I am a talker. But I have tried that before and when I don't say nothing the other side they don't say nothing either so when both parties don't say a thing what do you say that is nothing no conversation come on
@@joesanders4605 see a therapist man your in need of some serious help
The How- to part starts at 4:37 and is only one thing: set boundaries and either be nice or rude about it.
Just because they are talking don’t make eye contact do the opposite ignore them, cut them off and change the topic. Frustrating the speaking confusing them will rebuttal the need to talk more
Why dont they get it lmao 🤣🤣🤣 Its draining!!!! God
What about people who are always claiming that they did this and did that? And boasting what they are planning to do? The “Been there, done that”. person
Just was with a lady who has experienced every single ailment you can think of, and yet is still able to talk incessantly for hours. Diabetes, cancer, AD/HD, insomnia, dental problems, thinning hair, arthritis, gout, childbirth, droopy eyelids, pedicures, cholesterol, migraines. I mean, just name the disease and she has had it and recovered, but will spend an hour on each subject.
I'm surrounded by them! And I can't stand the fact when I want to respond to what they're saying then they changed the subject and I lose my train of thought of what I was going to say. I'm going to start introducing all these over talker's the American Indian talking stick. It shows how to discipline yourself and listen intently. Also shows the overtalker, to really think deeply about what they're speaking of. Instead of rambling on about things that have no importance.
I was never a professional talker. Politicians are considered professional talkers
Drives me insane!!