I have a hard time decluttering. I feel extreme guilt throwing something away in the trash knowing it’s not going to be able to be used again, and have a hard time dumping stuff at Goodwill knowing someone has to go through and sort through those items. Especially now, donation centers seem to be overflowing and I feel like I’m overwhelming the workers by giving them more to deal with.
Definitely she’d a tear when you mentioned feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. The more and more I study OCD the more I realize how it’s impacted my quality of life. I find myself going through a grieving period of how my relationships, my health and my mind and heart suffered as a result. Thank you for bringing hope into my life.
@@Ang36914this is definitely my problem, and I’ve known for years now but have only ever put that down to being an empath - I never realised it was also OCD related! It totally makes sense though.
I'm always convinced I'm going to be responsible for something terrible happening to the company I work for - causes me to check and double-check everything I do every day. I love my job but it makes it very hard.
Me tooo... I suddenly feel responsible for the machine that I work for which may cause death of many innocent people..! And U know what, I quit my job.. Now im jobless... I cant find a job which is 100% perfect!😐..
I feel you bro 👊 I bet it makes you one of the most committed, diligent, reliable and conscientious employees the company has ever had. I suffer from the same anxieties, and I often beat myself up about the constant rumination and being OTT, but I now find it comforting to know that it makes me really good at my job. If I could just find a middle ground where I can remain really thorough and conscientious, but with less stress and negative impact on my health then life would be sweet 🍬
My mom usually felt she was “responsible” for pleasing other people (to the extreme) that she got my (then) husband the kind of cake she thought he would like, instead of what I liked, on MY BIRTHDAY! 😫 I said, “But mom, you know I like chocolate cake on my birthday.” She said, “Oh, but I thought Dave might like yellow.” 😳 She had a “fear” of not being thoughtful to others even when she didn’t need to be on certain occasions. I also tend to be like her and seem to feel I’m “responsible” for being nice to everyone or I have a fear of coming across as “rude or mean” which would go against my character or beliefs to be “nice.” It certainly throws my brain into ocd because then I obsess about why didn’t I speak up and now I’ve let people walk on me..again. So, basically, I have a fear of being “not nice enough” and then, two seconds later of “not speaking up enough.” I’ve been walked on so much in my life, and endured emotional abuse from my marriages because I was taught to always be nice, so I’m not sure when it’s ok to get tough back because of the ocd uncertainty to prove if I was justified in doing so. I hate it!
This is my life. If I make the wrong decision, it will cause a domino effect and I will either die, end up homeless, or my mom will die/ suffer in misery and sadness. I missed so many opportunities in life because I thought if I did them, I just knew it would end up badly, I would end up dead, stranded, and homeless. I knew if I picked the wrong choice it would end up badly and ruin my life. There was a time where I couldn't make any decision without doing "eenie meenie miney mo" 10 times until it was completely random because if I chose the wrong thing it would be my fault that the bad thing was going to happen. Sometimes I had to redo the "eenie meenie miney mo" because I thought I had started on the wrong side or I chose the side purpose, but that is not allowed it has to be random! I would also make really long pro and con lists to the point where I was just psyching myself out. And I would ask people what they thought about a decision I was making and I would try to see if they had some sort of hidden message they were trying to tell me. Like if they made a certain face or tone of voice it meant that I was making the wrong decision even if they said I was making the right decision.
I've had responsibility OCD since I was 7... I remember the specific situation that triggered it. Thank you for making me feel less alienated. It's SO HARD some days but being able to be open about it helps so much.
My ocd is a buffet of cleaning and tidying ocd, relationship ocd, responsibility ocd, homosexual ocd, skin picking, and ultimately perfectionism. Usually worse when I am tired, stressed, bored, hungry or all of these things. I now try to get more sleep, eat well, distract with music, exercise, talk about something else, and eventually I am ok. But really, it's frustrating how many forms ocd takes form when you think you've mastered one or more forms already.
As someone who works as a health provider, as a Doctor, this type of OCD is specially detrimental to my everyday life, because I work with peoples lifes it puts SO much anxiety on my shoulders I can barely withstand much longer... I have had different kinds of OCD during my lifetime, and never have I ever heard of this one. It makes my days at the hospital feel like nightmares, and it drains my energy all the time, I might be at the verge of quitting thanks to it, don't know what to do.
@@sianxoxoxo5090 its so frustrating, but I've come to realize that when I'm going through a period of anxiety, that's when I feel the worst, and when I'm not going through a tough anxiety period, I feel less worried
I feel responsible for helping everyone around me. It can be overwhelming because obviously I don't have the capacity to literally help everyone who crosses my path but I just can't help but feeling absolutely horrible if I can't support or help someone with any given problem.
My responsibility OCD focuses on me being responsible for where people go after they die, which includes people I’ve never met. My compulsions are prayers. Prayers for the people that have died, and hoping I don’t mess them up.
You just described my life. Thank you so much, its really difficult to handle and I feel so misunderstood. I recommend therapy to everyone who is reading this! It helps immensely.
The pandemic really makes responsibility OCD worse. The thought that if I don’t do enough to sanitise, or if I go out needlessly and someone or my family get infected because of me is causing a lot of anxiety. But the seriousness of the pandemic does blur the line of whether my worries are valid because the situation does seem to warrant my worries. One of the ways I cope with this is to do whatever I can, and if bad things do happen, I will have to accept it.
I face the exact same issue! Sometimes when i feel like going outside, i dont bcoz i keep feeling, oh if i get sick thatll be still okay, bit whatif through me my family gets sick? Whatll i do then? Im also slowly letting myself be ok with the fact that whatever happens happens, i cant stifle myself inside the home or keep feelibg responsible for everything
Dude, I have responsibility OCD, my mother is immune compromised, and I'm a grocery manager. It's messing with me so much. I completely understand you.
This is so me! Growing up my mom always held me for her happiness or her anxiety. Whenever I did something she didn't like, she would call me selfish and say she didn't like the person I was becoming. Now she is always saying things like "oh, honey that makes me so happy you made a friend", like my social life is all about making them happy and I'll fail if I can't have enough friends to relieve her anxiety. Or she'll say "oh, that makes me feel so much better that you..." It has made me antisocial because I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I am responsible for making the decisions in my life that will affect my parents happiness or anxiety. Any mistake I make can have an affect on someone else and make it obvious I'm selfish and a bad person. If I do something wrong and someone has to let me know, I am a bad person for making them have to reprimand me.
Well, since OCD is mostly biological, I doubt that your Mom gave you OCD. Many people go trough worse yet they don't have OCD. Not to invalidate your experience but I doubt that caused you OCD, it could gave you probably something else. You'd have OCD without this experience too, and OCD sufferers tend to have tons of subtypes of OCD at the same time. So you should probably treat the problem too which is comorbid with your OCD. My OCD hit after a nightmare when I was a kis and one of my main subtype is responsibility BUT I remember the moment when I made it awful and then responsibility started to hit me like crazy and it became even worse since.
@@bettina_s This video did describe and validate my experience with an overwhelming sense of responsibility. Recognizing how my experience with my parents affected me has helped to reduce my obsessive thoughts . I was diagnosed with ADD in my 30s. Medication didn't help, but I find it interesting that leaving my emotionally abusive husband, and calming my obsessive thoughts,has made it so much easier to focus more clearly.
I find Responsibility OCD especially hard with Real Event OCD and Cancel Culture OCD. We can take responsibility for our actions but OCD likes to beat us over the heads with guilt and shame, over and over again. Our current culture doesn't allow for mistakes and personal growth but maybe those of us with OCD can be the ones to change this and get people to take on a more compassionate viewpoint of themselves and others.
i have been looking for a word for this feeling for my entire life. the only thing ive ever been able to say is like "i just feel guilty about everything". no matter what i do my brain convinces me it was the wrong choice and its gonna ruin everybody's life and i have to think so hard about every decision i make that sometimes i just dont decide at all
Responsibility OCD with comorbidity of PTSD has been hell during the pandemic. I literally had flashes of my loved ones dying in front of me, and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I was reliving past traumatic experiences of failing others and kept scratching them over and over again. I felt guilty for being in a hard situation myself so that I couldn't accommodate the needs of others. I was, as a result, obsessed that I am a narcissist and I must stop existing so that others are relieved from my narcissism and selfishness. All this anxiety about how people perceive my behaviour and whether it will hurt them was mistakenly considered narcissistic by a specific friend. This feedback from her actually validated my fear. Plus that PTSD made OCD very real since I was afraid of things that had already happened in the past (so they were possible). It was a horrible situation; I was still myself, but at the same time, I had all these flashes which I knew weren't real. Still, my heartbeat was racing. I did a step to visit a psychiatrist since this was a very complex diagnosis. And after the diagnosis, everything fell into place. Severe episodes started to fade slowly; my loved ones recognized the need to give me space because they were used to me being always there for them; I can continue helping them, having in my mind that it's their responsibility and not mine and struggling but managing to realize when to step back. My disorder still comes back, especially during the night, reminding me of all the worst-case scenarios I might not have been able to prevent, with very vivid and morbid dreams. I think that at least I've somehow rationalized it. I spend few minutes thinking about them during the day, and then I try to go on with my daily life. I shared my story to make those people who see narcissists everywhere that this label can be extremely devastating for people with responsibility OCD. I feel so grateful that I found amazing therapists. They literally saved my life.
Omg... I was way over allocated at work this year and instead of recognizing I was over allocated I felt like a failure for not getting everything done. Unfortunately my reaction to this lead to my leadership viewing me as a failure too because that is how I was reacting. The result was a horrible humiliating experience at work. I need to find a way to deal with this in my career 😩
I love you you're so awesome! I've suffered with so much since a child. Anxiety, depression and now more than ever OCD. You're the best in this field ever. Your words and how you convey them too are so effective. I'm 32 years old and after suffering for many years you have created a true breakthrough for me. I now believe I can begin to defeat these negative things in my life and I can't thank you enough for that! ❤️
I have had OCD for 10 years or so and a lot of different themes but since I am a mom I suffer from Responsibility OCD so much. To everyone suffering from OCD you are not alone and I pray things will get better❤ we can do this❤
So grateful for this video. I have such a hard time explaining what's going on in my head. I can now share this video. Really hit the nail on the head for me.
Have you made a video on predicting the future with anxiety/ocd? Because it’s the thing I struggle with the most and I don’t know how to deal with it. I get so scared something bad will happen that I end up playing it in my head so many times that it feels like it already happened. And it’s hard because there are things that I realized aren’t good for me so I changed my path, but I still feel massive amounts of anxiety from them. Like I’ll think things like “what if I never realized that was bad? My life would of been ruined” or “what if it’s too late and the thing is still going to happen? What if I’m just delaying the inevitable?”. It makes me not want to keep going in life because I’m scared of all the things that could go wrong and that I won’t be able to deal with them
oh my god it has a name??? thank you for this video, I might find it easier to explain my experience to my therapist :") it's so hard to find resources about my specific condition because it's not the common form of OCD, and at one point I'm worried that I'm just faking it (despite my therapist being the one who first suspected I had OCD). but my thoughts like to spiral a lot, so there's definitely something sus there lol
It took me months to realize I actually had too much work and my job treated me unfairly and they used my illness as the reason I was not getting my work completed instead of the fact that they had more than 3 peoples worth of work to do. I cried every day since August about this
The water spot on the floor causing an injury that will bbutterfly effect into destroying someone's life.....thats me everyday. Or I feel guilty if I see some potentially dangerous debris on the edge of the freeway and I don't remove it or call it in, someone could wreck and die and its all my fault
My responsibility ocd comes in lots of forms. Often when Im driving if I see a car on the side of the road or in a ditch I feel like I have to pull over and see if they're ok. They could be dying in their car and if I dont check on them its my fault. Just tonight while driving I seen a white tarp on the side of the road and smelt weed at the same time. I couldnt get it out of my head that it was a body bag with someone inside and if I didnt go back and check to see if they were still alive it would be on me that they died. It took so much ruminating for me not to go back. I know its wild but this is honestly only one small example. This is one of many ocd types I battle....making decisions is so hard. In the age of coronavirus I feel like Im "killing" everyone. My ocd starts to make me feel so restricted and boxed in. I start to avoid everything. But I am fighting!
I've had this since I was 6. I think it developed because my addict parents did not provide for my sister and I. I had to raise her, and then it just escalated from there.
I have a such a big feeling of constant obligation toward people and my. family. It's sort of social anxiety I guess, but it's fucking terrible. Constantly thinking of what I said, how I said it, should I be talking this way or that way have I hurt someone's feelings... the list goes on.
Sometimes I find it pops up after it’s too late, for instance after I sent the email as an example. I don’t even think of it until it’s too late. So frustrating. I am always second guessing everything i do. Sometimes it will stop me from doing something because I am afraid of making a mistake or doing something wrong.
I am having ocd since I am not sure maybe 12 like 18 years and didn’t know until I got into a miserable time facing my fears and I realize that when I saw your video when you talking about taking a risk at making mistakes making decisions to face or handle anxiety I did it but without supervision of a therapy so there where it went wrong and horrible at this moment I choose to to talk to a therapist and I feel like the process of overcoming OCD is taking so long but I believe it’s working
OMG the part about not spending that $5 was like you had crawled inside my head! I thought it was just me that thought that way - I even do it about spending a dollar!
I didn’t know what I’ve been suffering with was part of my ocd, and that there’s something I can do to treat it. This video has helped me understand myself so much more, and that’s a great first step. Thank you
It is my job to protect my mom I recently had a revelation that I lost my Nan “Grandmom” at a young age 19 and that my mom as she has neared this point in life and gotten older when she had told me she was in hospital with a health scare it totally brought on my OCD like 100 time magnified I might have suffered a little without knowing it but now like I am at a point the older she gets I spend most of my time doing responsively ocd to keep her safe to not have that feeling I had losing my Nan it’s constant battle she doesn’t even know what I’m doing I feel like Spider-Man in a sense I just do what it right even if I look crazy doing my checking rituals however it makes me have sense of control that I’m keeping her safe and myself!
Any advice on dealing with OCD and narcissist abuse? I can’t seem to focus on healing both at the same time. Once I’m like ok let’s focus on healing from the narcissistic abuse you dealt with and my OCD sneaks in while I’m distracted and bam. I’m in a loop for a week. I can’t seem to find balance. 😩
I get you! Also, on the flip side, I'll succeed in reducing the obsessive thoughts, then my parents will make a very insidious comment and I'm in the thought loop of trying to figure out what they meant and how to deal with it.. To make it worse, I'll try to seek reassurance with my most trusted friend and she will say I need to get over my anger. Then, I will be in a thought loop imagining myself trying to convince my friend to validate my feelings. Ugh!
Looking back, I see ways that my OCD manifested itself even when I was very young. I had this "thing" where if I didn't wave goodbye to people as they were driving away, then I believed that they would get into a car crash and die all because I didn't want to/wasn't able to wave goodbye to them. That eventually went away, but I don't remember specifically why. I do remember that one time I was unable to wave goodbye to my aunt and uncle as they were leaving my house because I was unaware that they were leaving. Because of that, I remember having a huge panic attack over it. However, they didn't get into a car crash and I saw them soon after. Maybe that's when that stopped for me? One that I've had for a while now is if I don't check and push on the light switches multiple times then some kind of fire will start that could have easily been "prevented" if I had just gotten up and checked the light switch. Recently, though, I've been having thoughts that if I don't rewrite/retype something a certain amount of times (intervals of 4 until it "feels right") then some kind of natural disaster will occur that will kill everyone around me. It was becoming distressing enough (among various other issues) that I ended up moving out of my dorm and back home. I was constantly feeling like I was going to be responsible for all the students/faculty around me getting hurt/killed from me not doing these "simple" tasks. I'm hopefully going to be going to a therapist about this soon, though. I was worried because I know that my obsessions and compulsions aren't logical at all but this video helped to show me that that's how it is!
There was a girl I worked with that was afraid to pick up a penny on the “tails” side if it was on the floor. Somehow, she got the strange superstition that it would cause her “bad luck” if she did. So, I said to her, “So, according to you, because I’ve picked up a penny in my past on the “tails” side up, that in doing so, it caused me to have cancer twice, 2 failed marriages and every other bad thing that has happened to me?” She just thought about it and hesitated, then realized how goofy it was to think an inanimate object, totally unrelated to someone’s life, could somehow cause someone to have negative events occur in their life. Negative things are always going to happen because life can never be totally “perfect.” You can’t think by touching or not touching something that it’s going to cause someone harm..when it’s not even related. You could check a light switch 29 times and it can still have a faulty wire. The wires will always have a chance of “shorting out” because they aren’t meant to last forever, because again, nothing can ever be totally “perfect” and it’s not your fault. You didn’t design the wire or light switch. You can’t control the weather by typing something “4” times. Natural disasters are totally out of anyone’s control. So, let’s really think about it. If there was a Tornado last week, and people unfortunately died from it, that it happened because someone didn’t type something 4 times on a computer? 😳 I don’t know how we get these silly ocd superstitions, but I know they can overtake our ability to reason. I hope that helps. God bless. ❤️
@@user-hx7mi7ml8u I've heard that superstition before so I'm not sure that that's related to OCD specifically... Things like superstitions are different for someone with OCD anyway. I know my obsessions and compulsions sound dumb (trust me, I tell myself that all the time), but that doesn't stop them from happening. If anything, it worsens them because then my brain is focusing more on it than before, from me wondering why I'm even thinking that way. The whole point of OCD is that it's illogical, a lot of the time the compulsions aren't related to the obsession at all. It's a fault in the brain that says there's danger when there's not and a faulty award system in the brain that leads to compulsive behavior to try to "fix'" the thoughts you're having. If it was as simple as saying "this isn't even possible or related," a lot less people would be suffering from OCD lol
@@madisonb8781 I realize that. I have OCD too in other areas. But, try to analyze the facts that you can’t be responsible for people dying in a natural disaster because you didn’t type something 4 times. Sometimes, we don’t think things really through before we start with the compulsions. Just like my friend with the fear of picking up a penny on “tails.” Do you really think you could cause a Tornado by not typing something 4 times? I know, you know it’s silly.. Try resisting these compulsions because you’re intelligent enough to know it can’t be related. Somehow, some stress and anxiety in your life is trying to get you to feel more in control by doing these rituals. ERP will help you with this also.
@@user-hx7mi7ml8u Yes, I know ERP will definitely help with that kind of thing. I try to consciously think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it but the panic and "well, if doing something as simple as *this* could stop *that* from happening, then I might as well just not take the chance" type of thinking becomes too great sometimes. I also have panic disorder, so I'm sure that plays into it somehow, too, but hopefully therapy will help me with learning how to control my own thoughts better.
@@madisonb8781 I know it can be a whirlwind of anxiety and repetition..I hope you’ll find relief. I’ve had OCD so bad in the past that I could hardly get out of bed because I couldn’t decide the “right” thing to do for the day, or the “right” way to feel about what I was going to do for the day. 😳 It’s nuts. I had it in my teens too because I would I obsess about which was the “right” way to wear my eyeliner. I would constantly be fearing “if I wear it this way then my eyes will look too “small.” “But, if I wear it that way my eyes will look too big”... sometimes I would apply it and reapply, and go back and forth out of the bathroom. It’s all about some “fear” of something and trying to find “absolute” when there isn’t any.. I’m 54 and still have issues with ocd in different ways.
I used to feel that if I didn't do various rituals that loved ones who are dead would have bad things happen in heaven ( and I'm not religious at all!) When I was 12 I did a ritual in a woman's backyard. Shortly the next door neighbor came screaming into the woman's house saying " he might die Olive!) She was talking about her husband. I thought I might have hurt him just by doing the ritual near his house. Her words shook me to the core!! It was 1968 but I will never forget it.
Idk if this is cos of OCD or something else but I have always been a people pleaser my whole life, I wanted to make people happy because it made me happy and feel liked, but recently a event has triggered this people pleasing into a more stranger and extreme thing, now I have this responsibility over all my friends that I’d I don’t check up on them or give people enough attention or emotional support they will kill them selves because of me, I keep getting anxious, I always make sure I give all my friends equal amount of attention cos I don’t want to think I’m ignoring them or them getting jealous and killing themselves, i already felt depressed but putting all this energy onto others is wearing me out both physically and mentally. The fear is so scary cos my friends do have a tendency to be suicidal so every time my friends are suicidal I feel this great guilt and usually end up breaking down crying cos I feel responsible. Even when people are simply upset I can’t tell the difference and I think it’s my fault, so I try to cheer them up. If I don’t treat someone “good enough” I basically think they are going to die. It’s so exhausting and it’s scary, I don’t tell anyone cos I think it’ll stop people from talking to me about their problems and because they can’t talk to me they’ll feel isolated and kill themselves. I can’t just stop, like people tell me cos they think it’s just people pleasing, when I use to people please it was to make others happy, now it’s to prevent something, also I go more extreme lengths and really really ignore myself, so I can’t just stop cos I’m convinced someone will die if I stop.
Hey Nathan, First of all thanks for all your videos. I am going to talk with a psychologist in a few weeks. I asked beforehand if they know what Pure O ocd is. She didn't understand what I meant at first. But after some explanation she said something like: it is possible to have a combination of physical compulsions and mental. I think I only have mental compulsions if i have OCD. The thing is I am kinda scared to talk about what is on my mind. It all stated in my first relationship 6 months ago. I came across ROCD. It resonated with me. Later HOCD. At this moment I lost sexual attraction for woman. I think I might have POCD. But am scared to talk about it. I really hope it is ocd. But if not it can explain why i lost interest in woman and doubted my relationship. My ex broke up with me few weeks back. It really hurted. Sometimes I doubt if I really loved her when i feel no pain.(not often) I dont focus too much on rocd and hocd and pocd. First I watched alot of videos and forums. I kinda get bored in a long video. Because of this I think I maybe have not ocd I doubt alot in general, self esteem is down. Do you have tips? How I can find out if it is probably OCD? I am by the way from the Netherlands. So sites to find experts in usa dont work for me:(
THIS IS OCD AS WELL AS EXISTENTIAL OCD???? OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD?? WHY HAVE I NOT KNOWN THIS, NEVER ENCOUNTERED IT ON THE INTERNET. THAT'S INSANE HOW LITTLE I'VE KNOWN, THANKS FOR HELPING
I feel responsible for my loves ones safety, often linked to me failing to care for them. Like if I relax instead of calling them they might go off, be careless and something horrible will happen. Recently if I am not perfect all the time my bf is going to leave me. please help :)
Ive just started watching your videos. They all sort of resonate with me, especially the intrusive thought and skin picking videos, but i felt like i didnt fall under any of the normal ocd categories like contamination or relationship or magical thinking ocd. These seem to be some of the ones i frequently see used as examples in videos and google but I just dont relate to them. I never heard about responsibilty ocd until now and wow... I thought i was having a psychotic episode last year because i was scared that if i took a nap or fell asleep when nobody else was home that my dog would die since i wasnt watching him. I was scared to put him in his crate so that i could nap because i didnt want him to be bored but also what if the house caught on fire and he was stuck in the crate? The lack of sleep made me absolutely insane. I thought I made my grandfather trip and fall because i told him that not getting enough sun will make you depressed so he ended up going outside when he wasnt supposed to and fell. I blamed myself. I also ask permission for everything i do because i need to know im making the right decision. I really thought these thoughts were psychotic and someone i confided in about them told me i was probably having a manic episode. Glad to know theres a treatment for this thats not just bipolar meds and antipsychotics which have never helped me in the past.
One thing that you didn't specifically mention is one kind that made my life really a mess for a while: Always seeing something that I feel I have to correct or most of all REPORT. They knew me at the gas company (always reporting smells that might be gas? (I actually did smell gas a couple times that nobody else smelled because of my sensitive nose probably. but in the end I couldn't walk down a street anymore without anxiety because I might smell something again), at the public works/traffic lights depratment (I would actually get out of buses to wlk back to a traffic light that I wasn't sure was it working or not, having seen it out of the corner of my eyes)... etc... Plus I would get out of buses to walk back to remove a stone somewhere that somebody might trip over.... Plus I would call about cracks in a meter cover because with time it might cave in Plus I would see smoke from faaaaar away and ask others for reassurance that it was just a chimeny and not a fire In the end I could look outside anymore when riding in the car with my parents for example, because I would alsways see dangers on/by the street and then how would I make them stop? or have to report something to somebody I would even WAK with my eyes half closed in order not to see any dangers. Oh, and afraid to even look at roofs because I might see something lose and be in a dilemma do
Hi Nathan! When you said “keep the door” unlocked at the end, just want to make sure that doesn’t mean genuine safety things- e.g. I still need to lock my doors at night !
I'm not sure I have ocd or not but I read the titles of those videos and I never expected to read my obsessions all just written like that... what is it called when you have all the moral and behavior ocd? but not really obsessed w cleaning.
Hey mark plzz help me. I always feel I'm suffocating but actually it's not it's just my mind telling me this. I feel I can't get enough air and it makes me more anxious what to do
Our lives and family expectations are full of this. Such a shame, pushing on people so much they get poorly with all that stress. Now I realise: 1. The Lord's prayer tells us we are not perfect and we shall forgive ourselves and others for our imperfection. 2. We do good things and TRY which is important, INTENT matters, for the good.
Great video Nate 😊 thanks much. I hav enrolled yr course. Nate, I think I hav a few ocd categories including magical, checking, responsibility and just ocd , is it possible to possess a few ocd at the same time?
I worry a lot that even my smallest day to day actions are powerful enough to make my loved ones end their lives. It is something ive worried about for over 3 years now, and a few months ago a friend of mine took her life. I was unable to function because i was sure this meant it was starting to happen and it was only a matter of time before the rest of them left because of me. I still feel that way. Its almost impossible to live with. I struggle with worrying about the future and my past actions, if im secretly evil and manipulating everyone i love. I dont even trust myself to know if i do nice things for my friends because i want them to be happy or im trying to convince them im a safe person so i can trap them and use them for evil. It sucks. OCD has taken everything i valued about myself and turned it against me.
Please remember me in your prayers I also have ocd hopefully God most honorable most glorified besides whom there is no power wishes will help me overcome it easily.
my friend feels fully responsible for COVID-19 pandemic, some soldiers being killed in the middle east, January 6th incident, and is sure she will be the cause of WWIII. Full on panic attacks for believing she has caused/will cause these things. Is this responsibility OCD?
But what IF its something that IS possible or even by coincidence? Such as working in health care and someone potentially becoming sick if you happened to not wash your hands before greeting the patient or had a slight cold when going to work?
So is it normal for me to have Harm ocd, hit and run ocd and responsibility ocd? I have all and maybe more but my life is plagued with ocd and even lead to my agoraphobia
How do you deal with this when you have a death. I lost my daughter to stillbirth late in the pregnancy and it was of no fault of myself logically. But. My brain will not let me move past guilt and self hatred. I know it isn’t my fault but I am so anxious and guilt and really fearful.
I am sorry about what you've been through. What you experience may indicate PTSD, since it's linked with a traumatic event. You should see a therapist.
I feel singlehandedly responsible for the colonization/cultural genocide of the entire world. I have no idea why it chose to manifest this way and I do in some way benefit from what happened but this thought lives rent free in my head 24/7 and eats me alive
We conducted a contest, and I made the decision to disqualify two participants after discussing with team, considering that they have malpracticed. But after hearing the argument of one of them, I can't stop of thinking that whether I made a mistake, should I not disqualified them, have I not valued their efforts, have I hurted them, dis I made a mistake, even though there's no proof to say they haven't cheated. What should I do? Help me out!
thank you for your video. I am a 15 y o female that have been dignosed with a quite invasive OCD. I am especially affected by obsessive and paranoid thoughts and procrastination. I struggle to read cause thoughts kick in and postpone what makes me think about failure (university exams). I am really disfunctional and feel depressive as a result. I have low sexual drive when I am anxious and procrastinating. I HAVE NEVER FELT RESPONSIBLE though. I dont have this magic thought of decisions. I have no problems in making decisions. The only thing that makes me anxious is money. I have been struggling with money throughout my childhood. I feel this strong pressure for the lack of money. I have no routine. I procrastinate learning. Could you please make a video about fear of failure, fear of unrewarded effort and fear of pain?
For me it’s just the mere thought or feeling of ocd just lingers in the back of my mind. a lot of the time it will affect my mood i’m not doing any compulsions what so ever but its just the thought that affects my mood, not sure how i should approach this
Let me know what things do you feel RESPONSIBLE for?
What are good ways to deal with this?
So then after my epic failure at work I have been going through every single thing I have done wrong in my whole life
Thank you for your videos.
I have a hard time decluttering. I feel extreme guilt throwing something away in the trash knowing it’s not going to be able to be used again, and have a hard time dumping stuff at Goodwill knowing someone has to go through and sort through those items. Especially now, donation centers seem to be overflowing and I feel like I’m overwhelming the workers by giving them more to deal with.
@@Living4601 YES!!!! But I might need this...or better... if I throw this out I'm going to need it tomorrow
my ocd is constantly changing and evolving and this is the new form. it's horrendous.
SAME! SAME, BUDDY!
Definitely she’d a tear when you mentioned feeling responsible for other people’s emotions. The more and more I study OCD the more I realize how it’s impacted my quality of life. I find myself going through a grieving period of how my relationships, my health and my mind and heart suffered as a result. Thank you for bringing hope into my life.
I think this is a common problem with empaths too. Empaths absorb and feel other people's emotions.
Same
@@Ang36914this is definitely my problem, and I’ve known for years now but have only ever put that down to being an empath - I never realised it was also OCD related! It totally makes sense though.
I'm always convinced I'm going to be responsible for something terrible happening to the company I work for - causes me to check and double-check everything I do every day. I love my job but it makes it very hard.
hey just so you know, you're not the only one, i've experienced this too! thought i was the only one haha
@@Dave-ok4en Noooo - definitely not the only one! Sucks, doesn't it? lol
Me tooo... I suddenly feel responsible for the machine that I work for which may cause death of many innocent people..!
And U know what, I quit my job.. Now im jobless...
I cant find a job which is 100% perfect!😐..
I feel you bro 👊 I bet it makes you one of the most committed, diligent, reliable and conscientious employees the company has ever had.
I suffer from the same anxieties, and I often beat myself up about the constant rumination and being OTT, but I now find it comforting to know that it makes me really good at my job. If I could just find a middle ground where I can remain really thorough and conscientious, but with less stress and negative impact on my health then life would be sweet 🍬
@@sreeragsr878I was anxious about my job, then I quit my job, heaven knows I’ve still got OCD nowwwww….🎵
My mom usually felt she was “responsible” for pleasing other people (to the extreme) that she got my (then) husband the kind of cake she thought he would like, instead of what I liked, on MY BIRTHDAY! 😫
I said, “But mom, you know I like chocolate cake on my birthday.”
She said, “Oh, but I thought Dave might like yellow.” 😳
She had a “fear” of not being thoughtful to others even when she didn’t need to be on certain occasions.
I also tend to be like her and seem to feel I’m “responsible” for being nice to everyone or I have a fear of coming across as “rude or mean” which would go against my character or beliefs to be “nice.”
It certainly throws my brain into ocd because then I obsess about why didn’t I speak up and now I’ve let people walk on me..again.
So, basically, I have a fear of being “not nice enough” and then, two seconds later of “not speaking up enough.”
I’ve been walked on so much in my life, and endured emotional abuse from my marriages because I was taught to always be nice, so I’m not sure when it’s ok to get tough back because of the ocd uncertainty to prove if I was justified in doing so.
I hate it!
wow thank uu for sharing 🌸
This is my life. If I make the wrong decision, it will cause a domino effect and I will either die, end up homeless, or my mom will die/ suffer in misery and sadness. I missed so many opportunities in life because I thought if I did them, I just knew it would end up badly, I would end up dead, stranded, and homeless. I knew if I picked the wrong choice it would end up badly and ruin my life. There was a time where I couldn't make any decision without doing "eenie meenie miney mo" 10 times until it was completely random because if I chose the wrong thing it would be my fault that the bad thing was going to happen. Sometimes I had to redo the "eenie meenie miney mo" because I thought I had started on the wrong side or I chose the side purpose, but that is not allowed it has to be random! I would also make really long pro and con lists to the point where I was just psyching myself out. And I would ask people what they thought about a decision I was making and I would try to see if they had some sort of hidden message they were trying to tell me. Like if they made a certain face or tone of voice it meant that I was making the wrong decision even if they said I was making the right decision.
I've had responsibility OCD since I was 7... I remember the specific situation that triggered it. Thank you for making me feel less alienated. It's SO HARD some days but being able to be open about it helps so much.
My ocd is a buffet of cleaning and tidying ocd, relationship ocd, responsibility ocd, homosexual ocd, skin picking, and ultimately perfectionism. Usually worse when I am tired, stressed, bored, hungry or all of these things. I now try to get more sleep, eat well, distract with music, exercise, talk about something else, and eventually I am ok. But really, it's frustrating how many forms ocd takes form when you think you've mastered one or more forms already.
Yessssss! It comes with a lot of guilt and shame. It is also part of childhood trauma..
As someone who works as a health provider, as a Doctor, this type of OCD is specially detrimental to my everyday life, because I work with peoples lifes it puts SO much anxiety on my shoulders I can barely withstand much longer... I have had different kinds of OCD during my lifetime, and never have I ever heard of this one. It makes my days at the hospital feel like nightmares, and it drains my energy all the time, I might be at the verge of quitting thanks to it, don't know what to do.
I relate to this completely, I’m not a medic but I work in childcare and it’s awful.
@@sianxoxoxo5090 its so frustrating, but I've come to realize that when I'm going through a period of anxiety, that's when I feel the worst, and when I'm not going through a tough anxiety period, I feel less worried
Thanks for sharing. I'm in the same boat
@@lukegraham852 you are not alone my friend, over time I’ve felt better, I hope you do too !
@@sianxoxoxo5090 how are you getting on now? 😊
I feel responsible for helping everyone around me. It can be overwhelming because obviously I don't have the capacity to literally help everyone who crosses my path but I just can't help but feeling absolutely horrible if I can't support or help someone with any given problem.
My responsibility OCD focuses on me being responsible for where people go after they die, which includes people I’ve never met. My compulsions are prayers. Prayers for the people that have died, and hoping I don’t mess them up.
You just described my life. Thank you so much, its really difficult to handle and I feel so misunderstood. I recommend therapy to everyone who is reading this! It helps immensely.
The pandemic really makes responsibility OCD worse. The thought that if I don’t do enough to sanitise, or if I go out needlessly and someone or my family get infected because of me is causing a lot of anxiety. But the seriousness of the pandemic does blur the line of whether my worries are valid because the situation does seem to warrant my worries. One of the ways I cope with this is to do whatever I can, and if bad things do happen, I will have to accept it.
I face the exact same issue! Sometimes when i feel like going outside, i dont bcoz i keep feeling, oh if i get sick thatll be still okay, bit whatif through me my family gets sick? Whatll i do then?
Im also slowly letting myself be ok with the fact that whatever happens happens, i cant stifle myself inside the home or keep feelibg responsible for everything
Dude, I have responsibility OCD, my mother is immune compromised, and I'm a grocery manager. It's messing with me so much. I completely understand you.
@@breezy8105 I feel that same situation 💕
I feel this exact same way and I feel so lonely in it
This is so me! Growing up my mom always held me for her happiness or her anxiety. Whenever I did something she didn't like, she would call me selfish and say she didn't like the person I was becoming. Now she is always saying things like "oh, honey that makes me so happy you made a friend", like my social life is all about making them happy and I'll fail if I can't have enough friends to relieve her anxiety. Or she'll say "oh, that makes me feel so much better that you..."
It has made me antisocial because I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing. I am responsible for making the decisions in my life that will affect my parents happiness or anxiety. Any mistake I make can have an affect on someone else and make it obvious I'm selfish and a bad person. If I do something wrong and someone has to let me know, I am a bad person for making them have to reprimand me.
omg i recognize a bit if this . my mom is a people pleaser and I learned early that it is common to use yourself as a tool to please/impress others
My mom held me accountable for her feelings too.
Well, since OCD is mostly biological, I doubt that your Mom gave you OCD. Many people go trough worse yet they don't have OCD. Not to invalidate your experience but I doubt that caused you OCD, it could gave you probably something else. You'd have OCD without this experience too, and OCD sufferers tend to have tons of subtypes of OCD at the same time. So you should probably treat the problem too which is comorbid with your OCD. My OCD hit after a nightmare when I was a kis and one of my main subtype is responsibility BUT I remember the moment when I made it awful and then responsibility started to hit me like crazy and it became even worse since.
@@bettina_s This video did describe and validate my experience with an overwhelming sense of responsibility. Recognizing how my experience with my parents affected me has helped to reduce my obsessive thoughts . I was diagnosed with ADD in my 30s. Medication didn't help, but I find it interesting that leaving my emotionally abusive husband, and calming my obsessive thoughts,has made it so much easier to focus more clearly.
@@bettina_s So sorry you are experiencing this, I hope you can find some relief
I find Responsibility OCD especially hard with Real Event OCD and Cancel Culture OCD. We can take responsibility for our actions but OCD likes to beat us over the heads with guilt and shame, over and over again. Our current culture doesn't allow for mistakes and personal growth but maybe those of us with OCD can be the ones to change this and get people to take on a more compassionate viewpoint of themselves and others.
i have been looking for a word for this feeling for my entire life. the only thing ive ever been able to say is like "i just feel guilty about everything". no matter what i do my brain convinces me it was the wrong choice and its gonna ruin everybody's life and i have to think so hard about every decision i make that sometimes i just dont decide at all
Responsibility OCD with comorbidity of PTSD has been hell during the pandemic. I literally had flashes of my loved ones dying in front of me, and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. I was reliving past traumatic experiences of failing others and kept scratching them over and over again. I felt guilty for being in a hard situation myself so that I couldn't accommodate the needs of others. I was, as a result, obsessed that I am a narcissist and I must stop existing so that others are relieved from my narcissism and selfishness. All this anxiety about how people perceive my behaviour and whether it will hurt them was mistakenly considered narcissistic by a specific friend. This feedback from her actually validated my fear. Plus that PTSD made OCD very real since I was afraid of things that had already happened in the past (so they were possible). It was a horrible situation; I was still myself, but at the same time, I had all these flashes which I knew weren't real. Still, my heartbeat was racing. I did a step to visit a psychiatrist since this was a very complex diagnosis. And after the diagnosis, everything fell into place. Severe episodes started to fade slowly; my loved ones recognized the need to give me space because they were used to me being always there for them; I can continue helping them, having in my mind that it's their responsibility and not mine and struggling but managing to realize when to step back. My disorder still comes back, especially during the night, reminding me of all the worst-case scenarios I might not have been able to prevent, with very vivid and morbid dreams. I think that at least I've somehow rationalized it. I spend few minutes thinking about them during the day, and then I try to go on with my daily life. I shared my story to make those people who see narcissists everywhere that this label can be extremely devastating for people with responsibility OCD. I feel so grateful that I found amazing therapists. They literally saved my life.
Thank you so much for doing these videos. I have felt so much relief since discovering your channel.
Omg... I was way over allocated at work this year and instead of recognizing I was over allocated I felt like a failure for not getting everything done. Unfortunately my reaction to this lead to my leadership viewing me as a failure too because that is how I was reacting. The result was a horrible humiliating experience at work. I need to find a way to deal with this in my career 😩
I love you you're so awesome! I've suffered with so much since a child. Anxiety, depression and now more than ever OCD. You're the best in this field ever. Your words and how you convey them too are so effective.
I'm 32 years old and after suffering for many years you have created a true breakthrough for me. I now believe I can begin to defeat these negative things in my life and I can't thank you enough for that! ❤️
I have had OCD for 10 years or so and a lot of different themes but since I am a mom I suffer from Responsibility OCD so much.
To everyone suffering from OCD you are not alone and I pray things will get better❤ we can do this❤
So grateful for this video. I have such a hard time explaining what's going on in my head. I can now share this video. Really hit the nail on the head for me.
Have you made a video on predicting the future with anxiety/ocd? Because it’s the thing I struggle with the most and I don’t know how to deal with it. I get so scared something bad will happen that I end up playing it in my head so many times that it feels like it already happened. And it’s hard because there are things that I realized aren’t good for me so I changed my path, but I still feel massive amounts of anxiety from them. Like I’ll think things like “what if I never realized that was bad? My life would of been ruined” or “what if it’s too late and the thing is still going to happen? What if I’m just delaying the inevitable?”. It makes me not want to keep going in life because I’m scared of all the things that could go wrong and that I won’t be able to deal with them
oh my god it has a name??? thank you for this video, I might find it easier to explain my experience to my therapist :") it's so hard to find resources about my specific condition because it's not the common form of OCD, and at one point I'm worried that I'm just faking it (despite my therapist being the one who first suspected I had OCD). but my thoughts like to spiral a lot, so there's definitely something sus there lol
Lots of love man
Ur videos are the reason some people may now be seeing ray of hope in thier life
It took me months to realize I actually had too much work and my job treated me unfairly and they used my illness as the reason I was not getting my work completed instead of the fact that they had more than 3 peoples worth of work to do. I cried every day since August about this
The water spot on the floor causing an injury that will bbutterfly effect into destroying someone's life.....thats me everyday. Or I feel guilty if I see some potentially dangerous debris on the edge of the freeway and I don't remove it or call it in, someone could wreck and die and its all my fault
I relate to this a thousand percent
My responsibility ocd comes in lots of forms. Often when Im driving if I see a car on the side of the road or in a ditch I feel like I have to pull over and see if they're ok. They could be dying in their car and if I dont check on them its my fault.
Just tonight while driving I seen a white tarp on the side of the road and smelt weed at the same time. I couldnt get it out of my head that it was a body bag with someone inside and if I didnt go back and check to see if they were still alive it would be on me that they died. It took so much ruminating for me not to go back. I know its wild but this is honestly only one small example.
This is one of many ocd types I battle....making decisions is so hard. In the age of coronavirus I feel like Im "killing" everyone. My ocd starts to make me feel so restricted and boxed in. I start to avoid everything. But I am fighting!
I've had this since I was 6. I think it developed because my addict parents did not provide for my sister and I. I had to raise her, and then it just escalated from there.
I have a such a big feeling of constant obligation toward people and my. family. It's sort of social anxiety I guess, but it's fucking terrible. Constantly thinking of what I said, how I said it, should I be talking this way or that way have I hurt someone's feelings... the list goes on.
Sometimes I find it pops up after it’s too late, for instance after I sent the email as an example. I don’t even think of it until it’s too late. So frustrating.
I am always second guessing everything i do. Sometimes it will stop me from doing something because I am afraid of making a mistake or doing something wrong.
I am having ocd since I am not sure maybe 12 like 18 years and didn’t know until I got into a miserable time facing my fears and I realize that when I saw your video when you talking about taking a risk at making mistakes making decisions to face or handle anxiety I did it but without supervision of a therapy so there where it went wrong and horrible at this moment I choose to to talk to a therapist and I feel like the process of overcoming OCD is taking so long but I believe it’s working
OMG the part about not spending that $5 was like you had crawled inside my head! I thought it was just me that thought that way - I even do it about spending a dollar!
I didn’t know what I’ve been suffering with was part of my ocd, and that there’s something I can do to treat it. This video has helped me understand myself so much more, and that’s a great first step. Thank you
It is my job to protect my mom I recently had a revelation that I lost my Nan “Grandmom” at a young age 19 and that my mom as she has neared this point in life and gotten older when she had told me she was in hospital with a health scare it totally brought on my OCD like 100 time magnified I might have suffered a little without knowing it but now like I am at a point the older she gets I spend most of my time doing responsively ocd to keep her safe to not have that feeling I had losing my Nan it’s constant battle she doesn’t even know what I’m doing I feel like Spider-Man in a sense I just do what it right even if I look crazy doing my checking rituals however it makes me have sense of control that I’m keeping her safe and myself!
Any advice on dealing with OCD and narcissist abuse? I can’t seem to focus on healing both at the same time. Once I’m like ok let’s focus on healing from the narcissistic abuse you dealt with and my OCD sneaks in while I’m distracted and bam. I’m in a loop for a week. I can’t seem to find balance. 😩
I get you! Also, on the flip side, I'll succeed in reducing the obsessive thoughts, then my parents will make a very insidious comment and I'm in the thought loop of trying to figure out what they meant and how to deal with it.. To make it worse, I'll try to seek reassurance with my most trusted friend and she will say I need to get over my anger. Then, I will be in a thought loop imagining myself trying to convince my friend to validate my feelings. Ugh!
Looking back, I see ways that my OCD manifested itself even when I was very young. I had this "thing" where if I didn't wave goodbye to people as they were driving away, then I believed that they would get into a car crash and die all because I didn't want to/wasn't able to wave goodbye to them. That eventually went away, but I don't remember specifically why. I do remember that one time I was unable to wave goodbye to my aunt and uncle as they were leaving my house because I was unaware that they were leaving. Because of that, I remember having a huge panic attack over it. However, they didn't get into a car crash and I saw them soon after. Maybe that's when that stopped for me?
One that I've had for a while now is if I don't check and push on the light switches multiple times then some kind of fire will start that could have easily been "prevented" if I had just gotten up and checked the light switch. Recently, though, I've been having thoughts that if I don't rewrite/retype something a certain amount of times (intervals of 4 until it "feels right") then some kind of natural disaster will occur that will kill everyone around me. It was becoming distressing enough (among various other issues) that I ended up moving out of my dorm and back home. I was constantly feeling like I was going to be responsible for all the students/faculty around me getting hurt/killed from me not doing these "simple" tasks. I'm hopefully going to be going to a therapist about this soon, though.
I was worried because I know that my obsessions and compulsions aren't logical at all but this video helped to show me that that's how it is!
There was a girl I worked with that was afraid to pick up a penny on the “tails” side if it was on the floor.
Somehow, she got the strange superstition that it would cause her “bad luck” if she did.
So, I said to her, “So, according to you, because I’ve picked up a penny in my past on the “tails” side up, that in doing so, it caused me to have cancer twice, 2 failed marriages and every other bad thing that has happened to me?”
She just thought about it and hesitated, then realized how goofy it was to think an inanimate object, totally unrelated to someone’s life, could somehow cause someone to have negative events occur in their life.
Negative things are always going to happen because life can never be totally “perfect.”
You can’t think by touching or not touching something that it’s going to cause someone harm..when it’s not even related.
You could check a light switch 29 times and it can still have a faulty wire.
The wires will always have a chance of “shorting out” because they aren’t meant to last forever, because again, nothing can ever be totally “perfect” and it’s not your fault. You didn’t design the wire or light switch.
You can’t control the weather by typing something “4” times. Natural disasters are totally out of anyone’s control.
So, let’s really think about it.
If there was a Tornado last week, and people unfortunately died from it, that it happened because someone didn’t type something 4 times on a computer? 😳
I don’t know how we get these silly ocd superstitions, but I know they can overtake our ability to reason.
I hope that helps. God bless. ❤️
@@user-hx7mi7ml8u I've heard that superstition before so I'm not sure that that's related to OCD specifically... Things like superstitions are different for someone with OCD anyway. I know my obsessions and compulsions sound dumb (trust me, I tell myself that all the time), but that doesn't stop them from happening. If anything, it worsens them because then my brain is focusing more on it than before, from me wondering why I'm even thinking that way. The whole point of OCD is that it's illogical, a lot of the time the compulsions aren't related to the obsession at all. It's a fault in the brain that says there's danger when there's not and a faulty award system in the brain that leads to compulsive behavior to try to "fix'" the thoughts you're having. If it was as simple as saying "this isn't even possible or related," a lot less people would be suffering from OCD lol
@@madisonb8781
I realize that. I have OCD too in other areas.
But, try to analyze the facts that you can’t be responsible for people dying in a natural disaster because you didn’t type something 4 times.
Sometimes, we don’t think things really through before we start with the compulsions. Just like my friend with the fear of picking up a penny on “tails.”
Do you really think you could cause a Tornado by not typing something 4 times? I know, you know it’s silly..
Try resisting these compulsions because you’re intelligent enough to know it can’t be related.
Somehow, some stress and anxiety in your life is trying to get you to feel more in control by doing these rituals.
ERP will help you with this also.
@@user-hx7mi7ml8u Yes, I know ERP will definitely help with that kind of thing. I try to consciously think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it but the panic and "well, if doing something as simple as *this* could stop *that* from happening, then I might as well just not take the chance" type of thinking becomes too great sometimes. I also have panic disorder, so I'm sure that plays into it somehow, too, but hopefully therapy will help me with learning how to control my own thoughts better.
@@madisonb8781
I know it can be a whirlwind of anxiety and repetition..I hope you’ll find relief.
I’ve had OCD so bad in the past that I could hardly get out of bed because I couldn’t decide the “right” thing to do for the day, or the “right” way to feel about what I was going to do for the day. 😳
It’s nuts.
I had it in my teens too because I would I obsess about which was the “right” way to wear my eyeliner.
I would constantly be fearing “if I wear it this way then my eyes will look too “small.”
“But, if I wear it that way my eyes will look too big”... sometimes I would apply it and reapply, and go back and forth out of the bathroom.
It’s all about some “fear” of something and trying to find “absolute” when there isn’t any..
I’m 54 and still have issues with ocd in different ways.
Nice video!! Have a great rest of your day!
I used to feel that if I didn't do various rituals that loved ones who are dead would have bad things happen in heaven ( and I'm not religious at all!)
When I was 12 I did a ritual in a woman's backyard. Shortly the next door neighbor came screaming into the woman's house saying " he might die Olive!) She was talking about her husband. I thought I might have hurt him just by doing the ritual near his house. Her words shook me to the core!! It was 1968 but I will never forget it.
So glad I found you
You explain it so well better than I ever could myself
Idk if this is cos of OCD or something else but I have always been a people pleaser my whole life, I wanted to make people happy because it made me happy and feel liked, but recently a event has triggered this people pleasing into a more stranger and extreme thing, now I have this responsibility over all my friends that I’d I don’t check up on them or give people enough attention or emotional support they will kill them selves because of me, I keep getting anxious, I always make sure I give all my friends equal amount of attention cos I don’t want to think I’m ignoring them or them getting jealous and killing themselves, i already felt depressed but putting all this energy onto others is wearing me out both physically and mentally. The fear is so scary cos my friends do have a tendency to be suicidal so every time my friends are suicidal I feel this great guilt and usually end up breaking down crying cos I feel responsible. Even when people are simply upset I can’t tell the difference and I think it’s my fault, so I try to cheer them up. If I don’t treat someone “good enough” I basically think they are going to die. It’s so exhausting and it’s scary, I don’t tell anyone cos I think it’ll stop people from talking to me about their problems and because they can’t talk to me they’ll feel isolated and kill themselves. I can’t just stop, like people tell me cos they think it’s just people pleasing, when I use to people please it was to make others happy, now it’s to prevent something, also I go more extreme lengths and really really ignore myself, so I can’t just stop cos I’m convinced someone will die if I stop.
I would love strategies to deal with this at work. When they question me it resonates with the thoughts in my head that I'm a failure
Hey Nathan,
First of all thanks for all your videos. I am going to talk with a psychologist in a few weeks. I asked beforehand if they know what Pure O ocd is. She didn't understand what I meant at first. But after some explanation she said something like: it is possible to have a combination of physical compulsions and mental.
I think I only have mental compulsions if i have OCD.
The thing is I am kinda scared to talk about what is on my mind. It all stated in my first relationship 6 months ago. I came across ROCD. It resonated with me. Later HOCD. At this moment I lost sexual attraction for woman. I think I might have POCD. But am scared to talk about it. I really hope it is ocd. But if not it can explain why i lost interest in woman and doubted my relationship. My ex broke up with me few weeks back. It really hurted. Sometimes I doubt if I really loved her when i feel no pain.(not often)
I dont focus too much on rocd and hocd and pocd. First I watched alot of videos and forums. I kinda get bored in a long video. Because of this I think I maybe have not ocd
I doubt alot in general, self esteem is down.
Do you have tips? How I can find out if it is probably OCD?
I am by the way from the Netherlands. So sites to find experts in usa dont work for me:(
I relate to you a lot. I’m going through alot of the same things. How are you doing 3 years later?
THIS IS OCD AS WELL AS EXISTENTIAL OCD???? OH MY GOD??? OH MY GOD?? WHY HAVE I NOT KNOWN THIS, NEVER ENCOUNTERED IT ON THE INTERNET. THAT'S INSANE HOW LITTLE I'VE KNOWN, THANKS FOR HELPING
Most everything and it is so traumatic and life robbing. I ordered your book and enjoy your counseling
The host of this channel seems to delight in minimizing the worry of others
I feel responsible for my loves ones safety, often linked to me failing to care for them.
Like if I relax instead of calling them they might go off, be careless and something horrible will happen.
Recently if I am not perfect all the time my bf is going to leave me.
please help :)
Ive just started watching your videos. They all sort of resonate with me, especially the intrusive thought and skin picking videos, but i felt like i didnt fall under any of the normal ocd categories like contamination or relationship or magical thinking ocd. These seem to be some of the ones i frequently see used as examples in videos and google but I just dont relate to them. I never heard about responsibilty ocd until now and wow...
I thought i was having a psychotic episode last year because i was scared that if i took a nap or fell asleep when nobody else was home that my dog would die since i wasnt watching him. I was scared to put him in his crate so that i could nap because i didnt want him to be bored but also what if the house caught on fire and he was stuck in the crate? The lack of sleep made me absolutely insane.
I thought I made my grandfather trip and fall because i told him that not getting enough sun will make you depressed so he ended up going outside when he wasnt supposed to and fell. I blamed myself. I also ask permission for everything i do because i need to know im making the right decision.
I really thought these thoughts were psychotic and someone i confided in about them told me i was probably having a manic episode. Glad to know theres a treatment for this thats not just bipolar meds and antipsychotics which have never helped me in the past.
One thing that you didn't specifically mention is one kind that made my life really a mess for a while: Always seeing something that I feel I have to correct or most of all REPORT. They knew me at the gas company (always reporting smells that might be gas? (I actually did smell gas a couple times that nobody else smelled because of my sensitive nose probably. but in the end I couldn't walk down a street anymore without anxiety because I might smell something again), at the public works/traffic lights depratment (I would actually get out of buses to wlk back to a traffic light that I wasn't sure was it working or not, having seen it out of the corner of my eyes)... etc...
Plus I would get out of buses to walk back to remove a stone somewhere that somebody might trip over....
Plus I would call about cracks in a meter cover because with time it might cave in
Plus I would see smoke from faaaaar away and ask others for reassurance that it was just a chimeny and not a fire
In the end I could look outside anymore when riding in the car with my parents for example, because I would alsways see dangers on/by the street and then how would I make them stop? or have to report something to somebody
I would even WAK with my eyes half closed in order not to see any dangers.
Oh, and afraid to even look at roofs because I might see something lose and be in a dilemma do
Hi Nathan! When you said “keep the door” unlocked at the end, just want to make sure that doesn’t mean genuine safety things- e.g. I still need to lock my doors at night !
I'm not sure I have ocd or not but I read the titles of those videos and I never expected to read my obsessions all just written like that... what is it called when you have all the moral and behavior ocd? but not really obsessed w cleaning.
I don't struggle with it, it comes to me rather naturally
Your videos are amazing! I was wondering if you could make a video on people pleasing ocd and some exposures to help with that.
I literally think I have everything type of ocd there is. Ughhhh 😩
Hey mark plzz help me. I always feel I'm suffocating but actually it's not it's just my mind telling me this. I feel I can't get enough air and it makes me more anxious what to do
Could you make a video about Hypochondria?
That's a great idea! I'll add it to my list.
I wish I could afford OCD therapy
i visited and take the test in free course thank you
Our lives and family expectations are full of this. Such a shame, pushing on people so much they get poorly with all that stress.
Now I realise:
1. The Lord's prayer tells us we are not perfect and we shall forgive ourselves and others for our imperfection.
2. We do good things and TRY which is important, INTENT matters, for the good.
Great video Nate 😊 thanks much. I hav enrolled yr course. Nate, I think I hav a few ocd categories including magical, checking, responsibility and just ocd , is it possible to possess a few ocd at the same time?
I'm not Nate but I guess it's possible because I have several of them too.... some I have managed, then comes others...
I worry a lot that even my smallest day to day actions are powerful enough to make my loved ones end their lives. It is something ive worried about for over 3 years now, and a few months ago a friend of mine took her life. I was unable to function because i was sure this meant it was starting to happen and it was only a matter of time before the rest of them left because of me. I still feel that way. Its almost impossible to live with. I struggle with worrying about the future and my past actions, if im secretly evil and manipulating everyone i love. I dont even trust myself to know if i do nice things for my friends because i want them to be happy or im trying to convince them im a safe person so i can trap them and use them for evil. It sucks. OCD has taken everything i valued about myself and turned it against me.
I can realte!!! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for the video. Now i realise i have this
thank you for this video♥︎
I'm pretty sure I have this and it's exhausting.
Does anyone else have worries/fears about sex? Like what if something bad happens to the other person?
Please remember me in your prayers I also have ocd hopefully God most honorable most glorified besides whom there is no power wishes will help me overcome it easily.
my friend feels fully responsible for COVID-19 pandemic, some soldiers being killed in the middle east, January 6th incident, and is sure she will be the cause of WWIII. Full on panic attacks for believing she has caused/will cause these things. Is this responsibility OCD?
But what IF its something that IS possible or even by coincidence? Such as working in health care and someone potentially becoming sick if you happened to not wash your hands before greeting the patient or had a slight cold when going to work?
Oh dude. It's unbelievable how I struggle with this lol.
So is it normal for me to have Harm ocd, hit and run ocd and responsibility ocd? I have all and maybe more but my life is plagued with ocd and even lead to my agoraphobia
How do you deal with this when you have a death. I lost my daughter to stillbirth late in the pregnancy and it was of no fault of myself logically. But. My brain will not let me move past guilt and self hatred. I know it isn’t my fault but I am so anxious and guilt and really fearful.
I am sorry about what you've been through. What you experience may indicate PTSD, since it's linked with a traumatic event. You should see a therapist.
I feel singlehandedly responsible for the colonization/cultural genocide of the entire world. I have no idea why it chose to manifest this way and I do in some way benefit from what happened but this thought lives rent free in my head 24/7 and eats me alive
Not all thoughts are true!
are you better??? have you gotten help?
We conducted a contest, and I made the decision to disqualify two participants after discussing with team, considering that they have malpracticed. But after hearing the argument of one of them, I can't stop of thinking that whether I made a mistake, should I not disqualified them, have I not valued their efforts, have I hurted them, dis I made a mistake, even though there's no proof to say they haven't cheated. What should I do? Help me out!
Sir can u please make one more video on how to do exposures for hyperawareness ocd
thanks, good video
Okay, good, now I know why I stay awake at night.
thank you for your video. I am a 15 y o female that have been dignosed with a quite invasive OCD. I am especially affected by obsessive and paranoid thoughts and procrastination. I struggle to read cause thoughts kick in and postpone what makes me think about failure (university exams). I am really disfunctional and feel depressive as a result. I have low sexual drive when I am anxious and procrastinating.
I HAVE NEVER FELT RESPONSIBLE though. I dont have this magic thought of decisions. I have no problems in making decisions.
The only thing that makes me anxious is money. I have been struggling with money throughout my childhood. I feel this strong pressure for the lack of money.
I have no routine. I procrastinate learning.
Could you please make a video about
fear of failure,
fear of unrewarded effort and
fear of pain?
Please make a video on relationship OCD and dealing with your partner sexual past
I have two on relationship OCD. I believe they call that Retroactive Jealousy OCD. I'll make one on this. 👍🏻
For me it’s just the mere thought or feeling of ocd just lingers in the back of my mind. a lot of the time it will affect my mood i’m not doing any compulsions what so ever but its just the thought that affects my mood, not sure how i should approach this
Hello, are there people who are afraid that they can harm/contaminate others with bad energy?
I got this and all the other ocd’s. And I know it’s not real.
Omg I double check locks all the time
Thank u
Nathan, you've normalised my behaviour so much and helped me beyond belief. Thank you
Thank you Asè namaste Allah
The Bible has truly ruined my life.
Do you have any videos for checking OCD?