What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller | TED

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  • Опубліковано 29 вер 2015
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    At the end of our lives, what do we most wish for? For many, it’s simply comfort, respect, love. BJ Miller is a palliative care physician who thinks deeply about how to create a dignified, graceful end of life for his patients. Take the time to savor this moving talk, which asks big questions about how we think on death and honor life.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 7 тис.

  • @10ON10
    @10ON10 Рік тому +124

    *when he mentioned about snowball in hands, I felt him...*

    • @ubayyd
      @ubayyd Рік тому +1

      Me too brother.

    • @azita6566
      @azita6566 4 місяці тому +2

      I could imagine just like as I've seen it. . .

    • @ManishPrabhune
      @ManishPrabhune 3 місяці тому

      Spot on

    • @paulryan2128
      @paulryan2128 2 місяці тому

      Whadaya mean?

  • @jvyu9628
    @jvyu9628 3 роки тому +4474

    His eyes speak of how badly he wants us to understand where he is coming from, and that we, too, will realize the importance of his message. I’m grateful for having the opportunity of watching this today

    • @doloresdrury8018
      @doloresdrury8018 3 роки тому +33

      I felt the same way about his eyes...

    • @kbgogh7324
      @kbgogh7324 3 роки тому +15

      eyes as on Rebrandt's portraits!

    • @nathanfarr6265
      @nathanfarr6265 3 роки тому +8

      The way he speaks really reminds me of Christoph Waltz

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 3 роки тому +10

      Me too! Amazing message

    • @priyasharma6980
      @priyasharma6980 3 роки тому +22

      Only those will understand the depth and reality of his speech who have lost their loved ones in hospital...hospitals should become more human centric

  • @netsurfer8507
    @netsurfer8507 4 місяці тому +65

    It's truly remarkable how his eyes glisten with emotion while his voice remains steady and unwavering.

  • @heytherebarry
    @heytherebarry 2 роки тому +492

    This Ted talk is the one that has had the most impact on my life, I return every year to rewatch it and remind myself of what really matters.

    • @radulescuandrei6178
      @radulescuandrei6178 8 місяців тому +7

      i showed this to med students in class, they didn‘t really react but nurses/ nursing school found this amazing

    • @kathleenbillock8479
      @kathleenbillock8479 7 місяців тому +1

      Avery good idea!!! I will follow suit!!! TY!

    • @jedmisty
      @jedmisty 2 місяці тому

      Not for me.

  • @fokjohnpainkiller
    @fokjohnpainkiller 8 років тому +4612

    See how essential pauses are in speech? This guy gets it. Massive kudos, totally deserved the standing ovation

    • @fba96
      @fba96 8 років тому +31

      You're god damn right

    • @BeyondSorrowYYY
      @BeyondSorrowYYY 8 років тому +23

      +Chris Fokjohn kinda diddnt had the time to watch, but i read your comment so i did anyway. not only a great talk, but also a big lesson on how to give a speech.
      Love from Germany

    • @fokjohnpainkiller
      @fokjohnpainkiller 8 років тому +11

      BeyondSorrowYYY Good to know someone got to watch this because of me, have a great day sir

    • @alexnguyen4648
      @alexnguyen4648 8 років тому +52

      agree, who says you have to be up and moving and charismatic to captivate audiences? he does it in such a settle and calm way.

    • @janetewin4819
      @janetewin4819 7 років тому +29

      He is very charismatic! and good looking and smart! and sensitive!!!!

  • @TheSKINNMAN
    @TheSKINNMAN 6 років тому +6172

    My biggest thing is loneliness
    I am so tired of being lonely
    I have a construction company I am 62. I work about 6 1/2 days a week as many hours as I can. I hate to come home because no one cares if I am home at all
    I have two great sons. Three great grandsons.
    They live there lives way far away.
    So I have been single fir so many years it’s hard to figure out how many. Can’t find someone to care about. They all seem to have so many problems it’s better to be alone
    So there you go I am alone. I give up.
    I have seen so much and been though so much. Both Dude did my family is gone. I have a few distant cousins. It seem I have given up hope to have a relationship
    Do you know how many times I have heard theses words. Well when you stop looking it will happen.
    I spend my soars time helping people. That seem so help me is a lot of ways. Anyway that’s my story
    God bless you all if you read my post
    Peace

    • @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434
      @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434 6 років тому +201

      if you seek, you shall find. The opposite can have an unapproachable effect.

    • @TheSKINNMAN
      @TheSKINNMAN 6 років тому +228

      Andrew
      I hope and pray that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with

    • @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434
      @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434 6 років тому +131

      TheSKINNMAN and so you will. When you do, commit like your life depends on it. Not necessarily in a forceful manner, but in a relentless one.

    • @Newofficegirl
      @Newofficegirl 6 років тому +542

      Adopting a rescue dog will change your life. Save a dog and it will save you.

    • @A-M-F-A
      @A-M-F-A 6 років тому +313

      Dear friend. If you can adopt either a cat or a dog. Their love and company will change your life. Wish you the best :)

  • @sadi6351
    @sadi6351 2 роки тому +200

    "What's most important to people who are closer to death? -Comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love; existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.", well said!

  • @mahamamir9892
    @mahamamir9892 2 роки тому +722

    What a beautiful message, conveyed more beautifully. I couldn't stop 'feeling' what he was saying. His every word was filled with empathy, wisdom, and a hidden, accepted pain behind that smile. May God bless his soul and strengthen him more.

    • @Harlem55
      @Harlem55 2 роки тому

      You smoke too much weed.

    • @AlphaGeekgirl
      @AlphaGeekgirl 2 роки тому +10

      @@Harlem55 You are not human

    • @mahamamir9892
      @mahamamir9892 2 роки тому +11

      @@Harlem55 Hahaah. It would have been funny, but I am Muslim, brother. And I am appalled you couldn't relate to this story.

    • @milmac5052
      @milmac5052 2 роки тому +1

      Which god?, the one who did this to him?

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 2 роки тому

      RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary
      .

  • @vairagya108
    @vairagya108 7 років тому +1131

    His eyes. They indicate wisdom. A wisdom that only comes from having been through a lot of suffering. And also, from having overcome it.

    • @PiseyHean
      @PiseyHean 6 років тому +9

      Just look his eyes :(

    • @eugenianubia
      @eugenianubia 5 років тому +13

      his eyes are full of pain.

    • @cHaRrOcK
      @cHaRrOcK 5 років тому

      i don't nook rick... he seems a bit high.

    • @robertbarber7343
      @robertbarber7343 5 років тому +1

      @Pascal-Olivier Premont looks like he smoked weed just before this.

    • @shubhamdahale1995
      @shubhamdahale1995 5 років тому

      Yeah, it's totally true.

  • @HARRYRUDD3355
    @HARRYRUDD3355 8 років тому +3183

    his eyes say the real message

    • @kpacuBua
      @kpacuBua 8 років тому +35

      +harry rudd He's either on drugs or on some strong painkillers. I know the drug sparkle when I see it.

    • @BrandonNZ
      @BrandonNZ 8 років тому +173

      +kpacuBua I know the troll sparkle when I see it, you sir are twinkling like a disco ball

    • @natural91LC
      @natural91LC 8 років тому +5

      +harry rudd what message? O.o

    • @Barncore
      @Barncore 8 років тому +51

      +harry rudd There's some pain behind those eyes

    • @mjoto
      @mjoto 8 років тому +1

      +harry rudd gay?

  • @butterfly1889
    @butterfly1889 8 місяців тому +30

    He understood the meaning of life :kindness ,compassion and love in all circumstances

  • @syedjafferimam5789
    @syedjafferimam5789 2 роки тому +127

    "A part of me died early on and that's something we can all say one way or another "
    Thanks for such inspirational talk

    • @trafficjon400
      @trafficjon400 Рік тому +1

      Temporary for NO MAN Will convince much longer as we need prove of true love that can control for love and not tricks. or wants and wishing wells.

  • @uma20012
    @uma20012 8 років тому +2864

    something about his eyes..had its own expression and story.

    • @morpheus909
      @morpheus909 7 років тому +13

      I know right

    • @kayfischbach5510
      @kayfischbach5510 7 років тому +33

      no, thats just a tear layer, thats normal, some people have more in the eye off it, thats what let him look so sad, but that hasnt to do anything with his emotion or story
      PS: my english sucs

    • @mynintendobroke
      @mynintendobroke 7 років тому +7

      +Kay Fischbach Having tears in your eyes makes you look sad? Nah, I don't buy it.

    • @lazyidealist
      @lazyidealist 7 років тому +12

      Take Keanu Reaves for example.

    • @evanprest6224
      @evanprest6224 7 років тому +3

      get a room

  • @roselaguerre4920
    @roselaguerre4920 2 роки тому +1875

    Sir, you spoke with unfettered eloquence, boldness, and poise about a very difficult subject- dying. And you did so with so much grace and empathy. It was brilliant. Thank you.

    • @chandrepinto9316
      @chandrepinto9316 2 роки тому +15

      Agreed

    • @normanbates569
      @normanbates569 2 роки тому +1

      Nonsense.

    • @sharon21382
      @sharon21382 2 роки тому +19

      @@normanbates569 *Stop.*

    • @DR-nh6oo
      @DR-nh6oo 2 роки тому +11

      Norman Bates You are showing your projection my friend.

    • @debbiehorn8263
      @debbiehorn8263 2 роки тому +11

      Loved This , Dr. Miller is so good at what is true and so knowing . I believe every thing he said was from his heart and not on a piece of paper , Amazing !

  • @pedroayllon4293
    @pedroayllon4293 2 роки тому +381

    I had my heart broken and almost did the unimaginable. Listening to your talk made me realize just how beautiful life could still be after a relationship of 7 years has ended.
    Thank you so much

    • @payday3425
      @payday3425 2 роки тому +17

      It will always be okay, remember there is always a positive ending, always. I know. Create your book and make a amazing ending for people to hear, you will find all the good come to your heart :). - Tiaggo

    • @merrybluegirl8930
      @merrybluegirl8930 2 роки тому +21

      I'm so sorry you've had that happen to you. It takes some time when our world is flipped upside down to find our footing again and even longer before we can feel happiness again. But from experience, I tell you, although it may not seem like it now, life always has something better in store for us. Live for that day. Just wade through the weeds until that happens. Know that you are NOT ALONE. I'm so happy this message helped you tremendously. Sending out love to you in the universe. May peace and a newfound desire to find out what's around the corner meet you right where you are.🌻

    • @lrhcconrad2230
      @lrhcconrad2230 2 роки тому +10

      I'm in the same boat . It feels like it's sinking . Almost 30 years invested and now everything is gone . I can't seem to shake it . I will though ,someday .
      Honestly life is horrible ,today and yesterday . I'm surviving for tomorrow
      Eternally through my Lord Jesus Christ .

    • @a.h.991
      @a.h.991 2 роки тому +2

      I am with you on this. Stay strong.

    • @mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454
      @mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454 2 роки тому +9

      Pedro I was in my mid 40s. 3 divorces. Two once good relationships ended badly. Ready to do the unthinkable. A voice inside told me to wait, my life would change in ways that I could not imagine. That same voice had once saved my life. So I tried. Mostly out of curiosity. Decided if I couldn’t have what I wanted I would rather be alone. Three months later, over thirty years ago, I met the true love of my life & we have a great son. I had to change my attitude and only then was I ready for what came next. Be patient & be accepting that you might not find what you want. Then perhaps the conditions will be right for a new as yet unknown phase in your life. It was for me.

  • @031neezy
    @031neezy 2 роки тому +53

    every so often you stumble on something that almost feels like magic. this speech is so much more than the sum of its words, it really is a piece of art.

  • @Ryan-jx4vh
    @Ryan-jx4vh 7 років тому +597

    This guy speaks like an author... very articulate and descriptive. Great talk!!

    • @moffig1
      @moffig1 7 років тому +28

      Love listening to him

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 роки тому +4

      Thanks Ryan!

  • @luzbuensuceso2916
    @luzbuensuceso2916 2 роки тому +648

    What he does not say is more powerful than what he says. His eyes, his pause, his being...

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 2 роки тому +17

      thank you luz

    • @umaraghavendran1347
      @umaraghavendran1347 2 роки тому +4

      I completely agree
      I can relate to it
      I just love everything about him
      All he said reminded me of the book “ being mortal”.....

    • @user-os1jw1nf4p
      @user-os1jw1nf4p 2 роки тому +19

      The power of someone being fully present in the moment

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 2 роки тому +5

      RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary
      .

  • @RedFaceeee
    @RedFaceeee 2 роки тому +210

    I’ve seen this in my life. My 3 older brothers died in the last 6 years. They were 27, 28 and 33. They had congenital diseases and I was their primary care giver. We never thought of death, yet we did talk about it’s being. We focused on laughing and thinking of the now. My brothers lived shorts and difficult lives, yet they never frowned. They always thought focused on what little they had and which liberated their souls. They emanated a light form them that attracted everyone towards them.

    • @hydee6018
      @hydee6018 Рік тому +8

      I am truly sorry for your loss. and I have been there..

    • @saminamariani1510
      @saminamariani1510 Рік тому +15

      I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this must have been...or how much courage you and your siblings must have had in dealing with this... it is overwhelmingly tragic. My thoughts are with you

    • @cynthiamarston2208
      @cynthiamarston2208 6 місяців тому

      Oh how hard for you. I lost my brother and sister before their time. I had survivors guilt but at the same time I had a certain courage to go ahead and make selfish choices to live the best I could doing something that was always a thing for me. It required sacrifices. It turned out just fine. Not great or glorious but at least I tried! In their honor that they couldn’t.

    • @sureshvanjani4618
      @sureshvanjani4618 5 місяців тому +1

      Losing near ones that too in a short span of time you must have touched the bed of river called SORROW. This leads to LIBERATION from the ‘SELF’.

    • @oladman9058
      @oladman9058 4 місяці тому

      I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. So heartbreaking. Thanks for the courage to share such a private and monumental story.

  • @ferdawsnaeemi
    @ferdawsnaeemi 7 днів тому +3

    Not only his words are powerful, his entire being is another thing. The world needs more men like him

  • @ThePyro3525
    @ThePyro3525 8 років тому +626

    It's presentations like these that make me love TED

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 років тому +4

      +BaeJ The 6 God Better than female under-privilege, any day!

    • @ThePyro3525
      @ThePyro3525 8 років тому

      +Ron maest now I wouldn't go that far for the sake of keeping my head attached to my body, but this talk is more universal.

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 років тому +1

      BaeJ The 6 God
      It's because of that type of cowardice that feminists have the sway they have. Remember that. Relax, they can't put a finger on you, it's against the law. Now, I assume there it's only because we're all equal, of course...

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 років тому

      Aviri Char
      Everyone...this ^ is a mangina. Thank you.

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 років тому +1

      Aviri Char
      AAAHAhAhAHAHAHHA! XD

  • @loverlei79
    @loverlei79 8 років тому +84

    I still remember the first dog I saw after living in the hospital for a year. he wasn't even a rehab dog. just someone's pet. I cried and cried. I never thought I'd see a dog again.

  • @colleenhall3763
    @colleenhall3763 2 роки тому +90

    This man challenges me on so many levels. I find myself watching this every few months, to ground me, my fears and anxieties. So thankful for him.

    • @jagmeetsingh01
      @jagmeetsingh01 2 роки тому +2

      Wishing you strength and peace, Colleen Hall :)

  • @francoisdavis7254
    @francoisdavis7254 2 роки тому +27

    I can literally feel his deeper pain internal suffering by just looking in his eyes....I just want to hug this man

  • @senior1110
    @senior1110 7 років тому +720

    An unusually elegant talk, especially about death.
    God bless this man and all his patients.

    • @nicolainjumsenrregaard7228
      @nicolainjumsenrregaard7228 7 років тому +4

      The god who gave him missing legs in the first place.. lul

    • @viceliag3916
      @viceliag3916 7 років тому +10

      Not the time.

    • @annaanderson7042
      @annaanderson7042 7 років тому +5

      GOD, not "god".

    • @annaanderson7042
      @annaanderson7042 7 років тому +13

      And everything happens for a reason. Bad turns into good. The accident gave him a wake up and now he's an exceptional doctor.

    • @armandrodriguez8501
      @armandrodriguez8501 7 років тому +18

      Try actually listening to him before making a jackass of yourself. His legs are missing because of a stupid choice he made as a young man, in much the same way your humanity is missing because you've chosen to reject He who gives life meaning.

  • @ruthauma4700
    @ruthauma4700 4 роки тому +361

    There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move and one way or another we will all kneel there.
    I felt that

    • @peadog007
      @peadog007 3 роки тому +3

      Ruth Auma I love what you said. Where did you get that from? Beautiful!

    • @vaibhavpindikura3841
      @vaibhavpindikura3841 3 роки тому +3

      @@peadog007 It was stated in the video.

    • @mdaze9753
      @mdaze9753 3 роки тому +4

      @@peadog007 BJ Miller says it @ 17:17

    • @shoneyluvsAmerica
      @shoneyluvsAmerica 2 роки тому +2

      I know ! That is just profound and should be etched in stone for posterity.

  • @rodrigogarces2254
    @rodrigogarces2254 Рік тому +27

    I read sadness deep in his eyes, but he is strong & powerful. Glory to him !

  • @mjtr1970
    @mjtr1970 Рік тому +27

    He spoke from his heart and first hand experience, not something learned through books....world need such people speak often....love him

  • @christinetemblique1016
    @christinetemblique1016 2 роки тому +725

    His empathy is profound because he experienced near death & recovering his life. His talk is so touching.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 2 роки тому +11

      thanks Christine!

    • @dwaynejones1555
      @dwaynejones1555 2 роки тому +3

      Christine Definitely

    • @Geneattenborough
      @Geneattenborough 2 роки тому +7

      His accident gave as much as it took…

    • @dawapeljor8945
      @dawapeljor8945 Рік тому +2

      Even I experienced the death at my workplace at might night alone twice

    • @roshnik5137
      @roshnik5137 Рік тому +2

      Empathetic people suffer a lot in this world.

  • @MrAkosFintor
    @MrAkosFintor 3 роки тому +706

    This Ted talk sounded and felt like a poem. A beautiful one!

  • @nandaacademy
    @nandaacademy 2 роки тому +15

    Dr. Miller, you inspire me! The way you talked, the command you had over your voice was beyond words can describe. It was an honor listening to you!

  • @briantimbal8711
    @briantimbal8711 2 роки тому +7

    The sincerity in his eyes says a lot

  • @thomasj5722
    @thomasj5722 4 роки тому +1029

    I broke my back for 14 years ago, and now i live in constant agonizing pain and can hardly sit down or do anything. Your view of the world change when that happens to you, i don´t have much friends anymore but i appreciate even the smalles little thing i see every day now and i appreciate so much when i spend time with people, i try to find the good in anything

    • @fortheloveofdog5622
      @fortheloveofdog5622 4 роки тому +53

      Don't know why - I just said a prayer for you - wish you had less pain, or no pain

    • @HarshilSarvakar
      @HarshilSarvakar 3 роки тому +17

      sorry for your loss. brother. may universe help you.

    • @tatianagrosch7535
      @tatianagrosch7535 3 роки тому +15

      Sending love

    • @agnesbajka6784
      @agnesbajka6784 3 роки тому +13

      Thomas if you are lonely send me a message.. I am happy to talk to you. @inesbajka

    • @amazingyear9042
      @amazingyear9042 3 роки тому +5

      You are a wonderful person❣️

  • @malcolmfigueiredo7018
    @malcolmfigueiredo7018 3 роки тому +490

    Why does it feel like he is holding back his tears. His eyes are moist and you can tell he wants to cry. I wish we could all give him a big HUG to tell him we never noticed his disability all through his talk because he was so georgous in every way.

    • @juliamorales6620
      @juliamorales6620 3 роки тому +26

      He's the complete package. Beautiful inside and out.

    • @harnooraujla6191
      @harnooraujla6191 3 роки тому +22

      He wouldn’t want you to not notice his disability

    • @neatstuff8200
      @neatstuff8200 3 роки тому

      @@juliamorales6620 ]] ppp

    • @user-tq1zl8xu9f
      @user-tq1zl8xu9f 3 роки тому +6

      I think he looks very handsome. legs fit him (not being mean). he wears em well. obviously sad he got them taken away. life happens ( not being insensitive) we all have cray stories.

    • @rosilovdal8745
      @rosilovdal8745 2 роки тому +13

      He's not crying for himself, but rather for all of us, with hope that we will 'see' what he is saying.

  • @mellowe7401
    @mellowe7401 Рік тому +24

    Beautiful. If only more physicians could be as empathetic as this man.
    Yes his eyes speak volumes. Ones of grief, pain, compassion and care.
    Thank you for this wonderful talk.
    Giving hope onto a subject that can seem so hopeless 💜💜.

  • @hellokitty9
    @hellokitty9 Рік тому +33

    He is a very good communicator.

  • @evanprice5470
    @evanprice5470 3 роки тому +873

    This has to be the most beautifully written ted talk I've ever watched

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 2 роки тому +25

      thank you Evan!

    • @evanprice5470
      @evanprice5470 2 роки тому +10

      @@BJMillerMD No, thank you!

    • @lionel.messi10
      @lionel.messi10 2 роки тому +8

      @@BJMillerMD thankyou ❤️

    • @Olhamo
      @Olhamo 2 роки тому +6

      yes, I agree. It is diamantine, in the warmest way

    • @carloskleiber8500
      @carloskleiber8500 2 роки тому +3

      Sanctimonious sermon

  • @minusone5162
    @minusone5162 7 років тому +331

    The good thing about people like him is that they've got nothing to prove. No pretentiousness, just a relentless drive to squeeze all their human potential and share it to the world.

  • @skyzthalimit09
    @skyzthalimit09 2 роки тому +23

    As a childhood patient now an adult caregiver and advocate. This is such a meaningful message with questions about living well while living with illness.

  • @BingoBilingual
    @BingoBilingual 9 місяців тому +9

    "Learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it." Words of wisdom! Thank you! Moved to tears so many times listening to this great speech.

  • @hippopond1
    @hippopond1 2 роки тому +357

    “Death kills a man, but the idea of death can save him” E.M.Forster. This is a really important TED talk. All disciplines need each other. If we separate them, if we separate techniques from purposes, we lose the meaning of things and of ourselves. Thank you!

  • @sammyy9223
    @sammyy9223 7 років тому +327

    His eyes reflect that he has seen and gone through many many things on his life.

    • @lolarushartland9411
      @lolarushartland9411 7 років тому +2

      Mr Tech Dude Haha - TECH dude indeed ! What his eyes reflect is absolutely nothing to do with 'watery' or not - try a little less TECH and feel into what we mean here?

    • @GiaielPace
      @GiaielPace 5 років тому +5

      Of course he has been through a lot! He’s been through terrible shocking experience obviously.

    • @joecermak7649
      @joecermak7649 5 років тому

      Gio Biocampo too soon

    • @HybridSol1221
      @HybridSol1221 5 років тому +1

      @@GiaielPace not cool

  • @honeycubey3120
    @honeycubey3120 2 роки тому +33

    He's so in tune with himself. A really beautiful talk. I can feel the purity of his soul.♥️

  • @nilotpalbharti3437
    @nilotpalbharti3437 2 роки тому +16

    Imagining a world where everyone spoke like him.

  • @siyaa3354
    @siyaa3354 3 роки тому +423

    Is it just me who loves his pause and intonation? Overall his voice and expression?

  • @Stopwars0809
    @Stopwars0809 8 років тому +162

    'let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.' You sir, deserved that standing ovation!

  • @KD-sz5bx
    @KD-sz5bx 2 роки тому +6

    Watched this for one of my Psych courses. This put tears in my eyes. The way he spoke, the usage of vocabulary, the utter genius of his presence and the way he evoked the entire room. This was by far the best Ted talk I've came across and everything he said made sense in my own personal understandings. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

  • @all-caps3927
    @all-caps3927 Рік тому +32

    Too often we see TED talkers share a vision, and us viewers or ‘patients’ look and we wonder “how is their life so perfect?”. The truth it their life isn’t perfect, I really resonated with this talk because you can clearly visualise the price everyone has to pay for their mistakes. This guy, even without legs, literally and metaphorically stood up and got his life back together. Just know that when something goes wrong, as it always does! There is always hope.

  • @duartedasilva7171
    @duartedasilva7171 2 роки тому +141

    “There are mountains of sorrows that cannot move; and one way of another, we’ll all kneel there.”

  • @XxXpokemonmasterXxX1
    @XxXpokemonmasterXxX1 8 років тому +1405

    His eyes tell an extremely difficult and enjoyable story. ;)

    • @pradeeplama1335
      @pradeeplama1335 8 років тому +13

      Enjoyable? i Don't really think so because no pain is ever enjoyable, whether it's big or small. Inside or out.

    • @daykbd
      @daykbd 8 років тому +38

      +Jake Tamang he meant the way he told it. It was enjoyable. Obviously the pain isn't enjoyable. Nobody would say a pain is enjoyable

    • @andy4an
      @andy4an 8 років тому +19

      +Aviri Char indeed.
      "turning anguish into a flower" - BJ Miller
      much of the greatest joy in my life has a root in pain.
      That certainly doesn't mean I want pain, or wish it on anyone of course.

    • @pradeeplama1335
      @pradeeplama1335 8 років тому +5

      Well guys, those are the facts that made me love ted talks even more. Yeah, obviously, the feelings of overcoming the pain is indeed joyful. Peace ! ;)

    • @SexualPotatoes
      @SexualPotatoes 8 років тому +5

      +saleh al-humaid Why are you winking

  • @momofschnauzers
    @momofschnauzers 2 роки тому +14

    Poignant, eloquent, from-the-heart delivery. His message is one that we ALL need to hear and keep in our hearts as we journey through life to the inevitable time of saying goodbye.

  • @purplepatch7
    @purplepatch7 2 роки тому +24

    It's as if the incident when he was in college forced him to see life as it really is and even with the undoubtedly amount of suffering he has endured, he is at peace. It's spectacular.

  • @marsray7793
    @marsray7793 7 років тому +2939

    Is it just me or did anyone else fall in love with this man? lol

    • @buzzweebee8685
      @buzzweebee8685 7 років тому +79

      haha! TOTALLY! I'll fight you for him.. :)

    • @bookashkin
      @bookashkin 7 років тому +50

      Sharing is caring :)

    • @mrst0ne495
      @mrst0ne495 7 років тому +80

      The feelings in those eyes

    • @CindyBellydance
      @CindyBellydance 7 років тому +43

      Wow! What was not to love about him. :-)

    • @CindyBellydance
      @CindyBellydance 7 років тому +134

      Gay or straight, it doesn't really matter. He's a beautiful human being.

  • @77JMW
    @77JMW 6 років тому +369

    That was like one of the great philosophers giving a Ted talk. He understands things at a very high level.

  • @xbergerin
    @xbergerin 2 роки тому +26

    What a beautiful talk. I was expecting something different, something more normative, behavior-oriented maybe. And I am blown away by the simplicity and depth of his message: that being connected with the world through our body, through our senses, can be the key to a meaningful life and death. For me that's very true. Really thankful for Ted Talks like this..

  • @markiewicz77
    @markiewicz77 2 роки тому +31

    People like you restore my faith in humanity. It was eye opening experience to listen to you. The most beautiful and true TED I’ve seen. Wish I could have a fraction of your compassion and wisdom.

  • @davidjustin4589
    @davidjustin4589 5 років тому +752

    I didn't think I could watch this all the way through, but I did. I am at or near the end of my journey through life being accompanied by Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. His talk, in a strange way, at least in my mind, gave me some hope that I will accept my death gracefully. At 74 I have lived a decent life but I wish I would have had a little more time, but that wasn't in the cards. Glad I found this vid.

    • @iamessence6268
      @iamessence6268 5 років тому +22

      Listen to the book of 'Tao Te Ching' before you go. I also going through a terminal illness. 💗👍

    • @loveofinquiry8067
      @loveofinquiry8067 5 років тому +7

      I think I would want more time like you❤️

    • @tientrinh6906
      @tientrinh6906 5 років тому +5

      I hope you’re still hanging in there. We need good people like you.

    • @junerivera4045
      @junerivera4045 5 років тому +5

      Remember, this is your crescendo! Live fully

    • @leolee4549
      @leolee4549 5 років тому +2

      @@iamessence6268 Hope you will always have peace in your heart,we will meet up there eventually,Love and Hugsssssssss

  • @zeromailss
    @zeromailss 8 років тому +207

    it made me feel peaceful for some reason

    • @satyajitsinhkosamiya6822
      @satyajitsinhkosamiya6822 8 років тому +4

      cause he was breathing fully...

    • @ambrishjaiswal1286
      @ambrishjaiswal1286 7 років тому +3

      Hi, please watch Dr. Aubrey De Grey TED.

    • @ambrishjaiswal1286
      @ambrishjaiswal1286 7 років тому +2

      satyajitsinh kosamiya Please watch Dr. Aubrey DE GREY'S videos. He has entire biotechnological intervention to beat aging within the next 25 years. And he is dead serious about his work.

    • @bookashkin
      @bookashkin 7 років тому

      Somebody, anybody, please tell the good doctor that I won't last another quarter of century :)

    • @shanicecodner7138
      @shanicecodner7138 7 років тому

      +moderndudeman
      The pun intended ? 😁

  • @cassriley405
    @cassriley405 8 місяців тому +4

    What a lovely man with such a heartfelt message.

  • @anjurkrishnan7831
    @anjurkrishnan7831 Рік тому +10

    He is an enlightened soul, look at his eyes... the compassion, empathy etc are clearly seen... a great orator....surprisingly I felt refreshed after listening to him. Keep up the good work and all the best.

  • @BITTME1030
    @BITTME1030 5 років тому +338

    Now 36y of age; brought into this world by schizophrenic mother, taken away from her because she abused me (found out recently that someone saved my life by bringing me into the hospital) placed into orphanage, there after transferred into another in Russia. Finally being adopted at 10 years of age by an America mother who mentally and physically abused me until I moved out @ 18. I feel blessed to have gone through my journey to understand and appreciate life for what it is today. I made peace with all my horrors and view my life/world from a beautiful point of view. One day I hope to accomplish something bigger than myself, this will be my biggest dream come true. Life can be a beautiful, heaven on 🌎, all depends on how you look at it, with your ❤️ and mind. May each one of you enjoy your journey. Thank you TED for continued inspiration.

    • @violator2695
      @violator2695 4 роки тому +3

      All the best on your journey

    • @SM-rz9du
      @SM-rz9du 4 роки тому +1

      God bless you!

    • @sangellaferro
      @sangellaferro 4 роки тому +5

      My life changed dramatically when I was hired to work for Hospice ... back when it was truly hospice & not just a service provided for an unknown patient ... refered one day before death. After 3 years of providing old school hospice care, I couldn't revert back to standardized managed care protocols & be part of the healthcare delivery system in place today. I've helped in a private capacity, and often teach by doing ... it's right livelihood for me. I wish the world ran on the hospice system. I'm grateful to have worked during the "Camelot Days" ... and apply the philosophy whenever & wherever possible. Quality care of human beings should be a priority, but money always trumps.

    • @mullerierabe-taljaard4867
      @mullerierabe-taljaard4867 4 роки тому +6

      Oksana Camaret You have already contributed ....the “you” you are today are more than enough to enrich this planet we all share, by your experience of our humanity. Thank you.

    • @jon7708
      @jon7708 3 роки тому +2

      Your story gives hope to those whom life is filled with suffering, and your journey led you to where you are today!!! I’m amazed by people circumstances and how you persevered through that, bless your heart!!!

  • @InnerResearcher
    @InnerResearcher 5 років тому +218

    His eyes hold the wisdom of the whole world. Wow....

  • @AlexUSAIndiana
    @AlexUSAIndiana 2 роки тому +7

    I remember when I came home from 1 month in ICU and 1 month in hospital (after my medically induced coma), I came home and I cried when I turned on my faucet with water in my bathroom. It was a miracle to me! I was standing near my sink, with both hands holding my upper weight above the sink and the water just running down the drain so effortlessly and I was sobbing watching how fast that water was coming and going..... Right now I work at the hospital as a PCA (while in school to advance my career in healthcare), yesterday one of my patient told me a Goodbye. He was almost fully sedated and just this past Sunday he was thanking me for taking very good care of him and I even met his lovely family and he introduced me to his family members. I was standing next to his PCU bed and held his hand while he looked at me with one eye open as he stroke my hand with his large tumb... I did not want to let go of his hand.... I went to our hospital's elevators, went up to my unit floor, went into the bathroom and sobbed quietly.

  • @buddahflower2424
    @buddahflower2424 2 роки тому +9

    i had to watch this for my medical humanities course in college. I was dreading watching a 20-min video at midnight because I was tired but we had to have it watched by tomorrow. Let me just tell you, one of the best videos I've ever viewed. Period. The eloquence and poise of this man...wow. Many of the figures we have learned of are just outstanding role models and Dr. Miller is one of them. I certainly don't regret spending a mere 20 minutes to watch this educational and beautiful video.

  • @NerokoMimi
    @NerokoMimi 7 років тому +135

    "Let death be what takes us, not the lack of imagination."
    This is one of the best speeches I've watched. You can see all these feelings in his eyes and his words are really touchy. We forget how to live today and worry too much about death. Time is precious for sure, but everything that makes us feel worths taking our time.

    • @EndWell
      @EndWell 6 років тому +1

      He just spoke at our symposium in case you're looking for more, just wonderful! ua-cam.com/video/bZrdGijdo4g/v-deo.html

  • @SaffyKaffy
    @SaffyKaffy 3 роки тому +230

    I come back to this video, each time I feel sad/depressed/hopeless.... it reminds me to LIVE again.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 роки тому +21

      I'm glad to read this is helpful, Mona

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 роки тому +8

      This is an amazing offering to take the time to truly value and appreciate the life we live, the world we share, and the abilities we have to experience wonder. I am in awe of this man

    • @pedroayllon4293
      @pedroayllon4293 2 роки тому +1

      I do the same after having my heartbroken after a 7 year relationship. When I feel down and lose hope I watch,too.

    • @motiverendesitater6882
      @motiverendesitater6882 2 роки тому

      What really matters at the end of life ? nothing matters......we are just a FLUKE......like worms..many humans take birth and then die........ the big bang was a fluke...the first amoeba was a fluke....everything is a fluke !!! jus dont live a SERIOUS LIFE..or a CARELESS LIFE...just a live a life of acceptance and make sure , you do smart CHOICES IN LIFE...life is nothing but CHOICES !!! cheers !!

    • @p-lit189
      @p-lit189 2 роки тому

      Mona H.
      I hope you don't mind my advice.
      Whenever you feel sad or depressed, you must keep yourself busy. Just do any healthy habits or activity that can occupies your mind and make you physically tired in the end of the day.
      (Sorry for my english 😅✌️) I hope it would help u.

  • @sachinagarwal3469
    @sachinagarwal3469 2 місяці тому +4

    I saw this TED talk and it reminds me of Guest Houses in Varanasi, India where people anticipating death come to reside.
    The managers of these guest houses have very intriguing, intricate and interesting accounts of what people want at the end of their lives.

  • @ananya.a04
    @ananya.a04 Рік тому +9

    This. This talk feels like an answer to everything I have been looking for in life and more. Such a wonderful personality he is. I would have personally shook his hand and given him the biggest round of applause I could ever have given anyone. His words hold such a profound wisdom, one that can only be obtained by experience. He's been through so much, and yet he holds such a compassion for the world around him.
    However, his eyes were the show stealer for me. The depth, the maturity, and the melancholy they hold, all while he speaks the most jovial of facts and profound of truths. This is a man who has suffered, but refused to let it chain him down. He is the embodiment of what 'enlightened by action' means.

  • @kellyheard971
    @kellyheard971 3 роки тому +132

    For some reason, I cannot find the quote, but this speaker reminds me of it. " through the things that I have suffered, I have learned to ease the suffering of others".

  • @petestrat07
    @petestrat07 8 років тому +127

    What an impressive human being. Imagine having a conversation with him?

    • @MrBlisss1
      @MrBlisss1 7 років тому +3

      Lets talk about nothing.inc

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 роки тому +2

      Thanks Pete!

  • @erumpervez4454
    @erumpervez4454 Рік тому +3

    I have heard so many talks but none stayed with me like this one. You eyes and you face reflects what you experienced and the wisdom you have learned.

  • @princeshahnawaz33
    @princeshahnawaz33 2 роки тому +23

    His eyes tells everything about his life and the sufferings he bear.
    Thank you so much for this wonderful speech🙏

  • @FreeOnlineMoneyMaker
    @FreeOnlineMoneyMaker 5 років тому +790

    No legs, seen Death in the face, and regular people complain everyday about nothing . BJ Miller you define Inspiration. Thank You.

    • @gelatinocyte6270
      @gelatinocyte6270 5 років тому +26

      When they complain, there has to be something.

    • @Michelle-pn9xt
      @Michelle-pn9xt 5 років тому +19

      Most people do not complain about nothing.

    • @Processor609
      @Processor609 5 років тому +30

      FreeOnline MoneyMaker the heart needs release. It's not complaining it's "expressing". Everybody's journey is different and judging anybody from the outside is completely wrong. Putting down others and glorifying him? Like can you anymore inconsiderate?? Do you know what people have to currently go through plus what they've already been through that you literally do not know anything about?.. all emotions comes from thoughts or an event or result.. from something and there's a reason for every feeling.

    • @kalikoveena5206
      @kalikoveena5206 5 років тому +7

      He is a regular person too, its necessary to realize that at a glance the sparrow is nothing until you realize it's worries are just as great as yours

    • @highlyfavored2434
      @highlyfavored2434 4 роки тому +1

      And one arm*

  • @gordonsmith8923
    @gordonsmith8923 4 роки тому +60

    What a soft spoken gentleman. Deep, reflective, and heartfelt.

  • @allatones
    @allatones 2 роки тому +29

    Rewatched, AGAIN, and it’s still so poignant and emotional. Thank you for existing and sharing your energy with us. It ripples and we are better for it. :’)

  • @greenlamp7809
    @greenlamp7809 Рік тому +7

    Thank you, on behalf of physicians around the world, for reminding us the essence of what we do.

  • @Lets_talk_about_that
    @Lets_talk_about_that 8 років тому +37

    He's so beautiful. I love how he talks in such a real way.

  • @mr_brown5974
    @mr_brown5974 7 років тому +318

    "Loss is one thing but regret quiet another"

    • @marian1493
      @marian1493 7 років тому +26

      because regret does not allow you to deal with loss. to get up. move forward.

    • @Yotrymp
      @Yotrymp 6 років тому +3

      Potential turns into dead weight.

    • @serenityinside1
      @serenityinside1 5 років тому +3

      well said

    • @charmedprince
      @charmedprince 5 років тому +5

      *quite

    • @rossmclaughlin4461
      @rossmclaughlin4461 5 років тому +1

      serenityinside1 w

  • @hvsquarel
    @hvsquarel 2 роки тому +3

    I am writing this when I am 24, and I have to say without shame that there are some things that my being hasn't risen to fully fathom or grasp (like certain books, movies etc.) and one of it is this Ted Talk, and I plan to come back to this Ted talk, time and again, till I can fully fathom every word this man says. All I can I say is that I am enamoured by his eyes and everything it tries to convey. Till then I hope, I appreciate the smallest things in life that makes my life so fulfilling and stay grateful for everything I have. Good day to you ❤

  • @athenaathena77712
    @athenaathena77712 2 роки тому +15

    This man grasps pain, suffering & the grand spectrum of health care during serious catastrophic health events. Mad respect for this man & now Dr, what an incredible work that he does. God bless him in every way. Thank you for translating your own personal experiences & pain into something we can all apply to our lives & clearly understand. Healthy or sick we receive your succinct impactful message & thank you soo much for being open & sharing it so bravely.
    I appreciate you very much.

  • @popamaximilian8540
    @popamaximilian8540 4 роки тому +18

    This is why the internet is a priceless gift.I am verry happy that I had the chance to learn from this man.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 роки тому +1

      i'm glad this was helpful, Maximilian

  • @mudit5151
    @mudit5151 8 років тому +148

    the way he delivered this talk, its beautiful.. just amazing

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 8 років тому

      made my day.. this thought is wonderful

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 8 років тому +1

      I'd like to secure a "happy death" pack for myself right away.. maybe that would help me to live without fear..

    • @ikergarcia7794
      @ikergarcia7794 8 років тому +1

      +mudit gupta Living with fear to death is a fault.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 роки тому

      thank you mudit!

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 3 роки тому +1

      @@BJMillerMD subbed to your channel.. thanks for making an account finally

  • @ChaiTogether
    @ChaiTogether Рік тому +4

    The most beautiful speech, tear*.

  • @kevinalamo4250
    @kevinalamo4250 2 роки тому +3

    They say eyes are the windows to the soul, and this man's eyes beam and glow with a gentle warmth, a lively spirit, and a profound kindness.

  • @jonahzah2698
    @jonahzah2698 2 роки тому +781

    The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.” ― C.G. Jung
    Greetings from Ethiopia

    • @dianepaul9846
      @dianepaul9846 2 роки тому +11

      Beautiful comment. Btw, I love Ethiopia. I lived there for a couple years as a child. Wishing you peace.

    • @tesstefera6334
      @tesstefera6334 2 роки тому +2

      Nice to meet my fellow Ethiopians
      You are right
      Cheers

    • @pikiwiki
      @pikiwiki 2 роки тому +1

      Greetings, Ethiopia. How's the weather?

    • @allensandven0
      @allensandven0 2 роки тому +2

      Great quote ,on so many levels

    • @Munsjvc2
      @Munsjvc2 2 роки тому +3

      Oh. I’ve always believed this, but never heard it said so we’ll!

  • @Unzyme
    @Unzyme 2 роки тому +327

    I love how he presented the message so calmly. Acceptance is the key to happiness.

  • @Veraalim
    @Veraalim 2 роки тому +6

    I can feel his soul, from the bottom of my heart.

  • @VKA00376
    @VKA00376 Рік тому +10

    It is people like you whom inspire me deeply consider my professional goals. As much as I have enjoyed critical care as an RN, I work very closely with palliative because so many just do not want that level of invasive care, the bleeping monitors, the inability to sleep, etc... It seems like a difficult path to walk, but it also appears rewarding to provide a patient with the highest quality of their limited time left on this Earth.

  • @naninolovyou6388
    @naninolovyou6388 2 роки тому +157

    I LOVE this guy, he’s handsome, smart and just gets it. His voice low and fairly quiet and audience is quiet, listening every word….Good man! We need MORE of this man

    • @mywingedwords
      @mywingedwords Рік тому +3

      i agree that he is the quintessential thinking and feeling woman's crush :)

  • @guigondi7671
    @guigondi7671 7 років тому +107

    I feel like i lack something, perhaps life experience or introspection, to truly comprehend the weight of the words of this man.

    • @giurgindemilan
      @giurgindemilan 5 років тому

      hold the thought. Carefree or not having major problems aside of work-money-survival-sports etc isn't all that bad for many. Maybe from your comment you wish to understand more.... start giving back, say 10% of your time in volunteering?
      If that is empathy lacking that is another route to dig, yet empathy comes from common experiences and young age generallt gifts you of a smaller amount of them to relate to.

    • @hugoboss9387
      @hugoboss9387 5 років тому

      You lack nothing but his experience will be quite his own expression of the grief and joy he was dealt. Your experience will be differnet and the same. Hope that explains something to you.

    • @jonasdamion1627
      @jonasdamion1627 5 років тому +2

      this guy lost 2.5 limbs, works in hospice, and is probably much older than you, so don't worry about it just do what you can do to get more immersed in life every chance you get

    • @patriciarussell5463
      @patriciarussell5463 5 років тому +1

      So maybe you should consider yourself one of the Lucky Ones, but then again...

  • @lizgruenbaum7948
    @lizgruenbaum7948 Рік тому +5

    I watched this for some support as we begin to help a woman who has been my friend for 33 of my 66 years transition from this life. The wisdom he shared will guide me as I do whatever I can to support her and her family. I may need to revisit this several times in the next few months. Thank you.

  • @TeatimeMedium
    @TeatimeMedium Рік тому +10

    As a medium that works with the "living" and the "deceased," I have come to learn from Spirit that all illness is a gift of presence of mind and body, an opportunity to "reset" and reevaluate. Once we accept this, we have all the time we need to love and be loved. I am grateful for this talk and the conversation it sparked.

  • @reneelynn3949
    @reneelynn3949 7 років тому +38

    He looked like he's about to cry, but his eyes are just so sparkly.

  • @mangobanana2982
    @mangobanana2982 8 років тому +21

    I don't understand why we waste our time during our lives to wait for a perfect moment, when as he describes the things we yearn for, these moments that connect us to this earth are right before us. We do not have to wait until death almost upon us. We just need to take a step back from our busy lives and understand the beauty of each day and living moment

  • @ayselaysel5253
    @ayselaysel5253 4 місяці тому +4

    His eyes.i really impressed

  • @samaddadahine9412
    @samaddadahine9412 7 років тому +341

    Damn, this wasn't a talk. This was a performance!

  • @Miriam-fk9wr
    @Miriam-fk9wr 2 роки тому +192

    I can listen to this gentleman speak his story, he’s a gentle soul.

    • @user199543999
      @user199543999 2 роки тому +1

      You mean "soul", not "sole". The sole is on the bottom of a foot.
      (Sorry for being a smartass)

    • @Miriam-fk9wr
      @Miriam-fk9wr 2 роки тому +1

      @@user199543999 yes thank you 🌷didn’t take notice.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 2 роки тому +5

      thank you Miriam

  • @victoriaalgra3675
    @victoriaalgra3675 2 роки тому +5

    He’s amazing person and so brave.. incredibly heartbreaking ordeal to happen in the days of his youth.. one unknowing innocent decision and that’s it.. losing his limbs caused incredibly unnecessary suffering but he’s a beautiful soul and turned it around for the good of mankind. 🙏🏆

  • @trishnadas1460
    @trishnadas1460 2 роки тому +3

    There are times when i complain how most people i meet are downright selfish and lack empathy, but i realize now, those who suffer themselves are more capable of understanding another's suffering, and some are gifted to put their thoughts into such a beautiful speech, that it almost makes up for all the other jerks i have ever had the misfortune to meet. May he finds lasting happiness and peace.

  • @skandarc2810
    @skandarc2810 7 років тому +832

    Absolutely beautiful, humble, moving talk. Even if this video was without sound, his eyes alone tell the story of his life and heart.
    Having a mother who passed away from a terrible terminal disease, I completely agree with him on the system and hospitals. There is some amazing healthcare professionals however, mainly nurses. So we took matters into our own hands and following the wishes of my mother. There is nothing, nothing more beautiful and peaceful, then seeing someone you love, leaving this earth with a smile on their face.

    • @robertclark781
      @robertclark781 6 років тому +1

      Skandar C a

    • @MelissaBrownapt215
      @MelissaBrownapt215 6 років тому +5

      The eyes have it and he pauses so naturally in the right moments, letting the feeling sink in.

    • @ricardoocampo8586
      @ricardoocampo8586 6 років тому +2

      Skandar C true

    • @lynndurbin9476
      @lynndurbin9476 6 років тому +5

      I have seen families fight in hospitals around the death of parents. Very upsetting to everyone.

    • @user-hu9mm1oe1q
      @user-hu9mm1oe1q 5 років тому +5

      My wish for my dad is to be able to return home and die here peacefully. There is nothing more I wish and pray for at this point.