I'm 66, both my maternal and paternal grandmother's we're Indigenous originated from Reservation life. During my youth reference to female Elders was always Auntie or Grandmother. The Elder males were Grandfather or Uncle. Considering I was an unwanted child, it was that Community that nurtured and raised me. A genuine blessing throughout an extremely challenging childhood. I became the man I am, thanks to my Elders 🙏🏾✊🏾❤️
I have always been a I hard worker. I was divorced when my daughters were young. I raised them without assistance from the government. I saved as much as possible under the circumstances. I thought I would be able to save more when my youngest graduated college. In her senior year I had my first stroke. Since then I have had another stroke and a brain tumor. Some seniors don't have many options and are just trying to stay alive. Until someone is in their shoes, they will never fully understand the struggle.
That's for darn sure. I've been through some rough and traumatic times. It left it's mark. People really can't know unless they've "been there". I'm sorry you've gone through this and I hope things get better for you.
My great grandmother had a boarding house after great grandfather had a stroke and couldn't work the farm any longer, My mother and her older sister lived with her since my grandmother died in 1928 and grandfather took the 2 boys with him and baby went to an adult cousin. My mother said she and her sister had chores at the boarding house, I remember my mother telling me about the boarding house. I also knew a fellow who lived in a rooming house here in town where I lived. It was a big house owed by an older woman and she rented the upstairs rooms to several other working people with a shared bathroom. The renters couldn't afford their own apartment. My mother had a nice 3 bedroom house and she kept the master bedroom and rented to 2 bedrooms to 2 working men who shared the bathroom with light kitchen use. One man was only there 5 days a week and wen home to another state on weekends. Both men were professional types and working full time.
Lived in a couple in late 1960 & early 1970. I didn’t see anything demeaning about it, but 30 years later I had a man, much older than I, take it that we were poor… which maybe we were by some folks standards, but we had everything we needed.
This! Even with the roommate situation. I don't think a lot of people are aware of squatters. If you know, you know how horrible it can be and cost you your sanity and possibly your life.
@@carmenwheatley7316 even background checks don't tell everything. It's such a chance to take these days and those who don't understand haven't really experienced it.
When society was more agriculture with a family farm, children often built a home or installed a mobile home on the family property. Family elders always had a home an family looked after them as they aged. We've lost that way of life for the most part. I also remember, when I was young, that city families would have a large townhouse, maybe 3 stories and a basement and extended families lived together and people had their own space. We've lost that way of life.
My situation is different, as I own my home. But one thing I’ve noticed about people with low incomes is HOW they spend the money they do have. Cigarettes, junky Amazon purchases, cutesy but unnecessary decorative stuff, take out coffee ( I can have one cup of coffee I make myself for many days for the cost of one Starbucks.) Also, food choices! If I’m at the end of my budget, I don’t mind fixing a can of soup and peanut butter sandwich, with carrot sticks or grapes. I prefer to MAKE money by spending less. I know too many people that spend money that could be saved for emergencies or for when the rent goes up.
So true. It seems like a simple thing and common sense, but I know relatives who waste their money, then want you to help take up the slack when things go bad. Lots of pot, vacations, fast food etc. Never putting anything up for a rainy day.
I know right? Too much money spent on drugs, cigs, alcohol, eating out, decorative stuff, coffee, pets, tattoos, expensive non-important dental work, expensive clothes, shoes, purses, cars, etc. People think because their car is breaking down, they need to throw it away or park it out back and get a new one. I can fix a car or have it fixed for a fraction of the cost of a new one. Just an excuse for them to get a new car. They don't get the oil changed or the tires rotated, or even clean it. Then just throw it away when it breaks down. Cars are going to break down. It's a fact of life. Parts wear out and have to be replaced. They break down faster if the oil is not kept changed, duh. Tires are going to wear out, so have a savings account that you put a very small amt of money into monthly for when you need to buy new tires. They wear out faster if they're not rotated and air pressure checked every couple of weeks or monthly and adjusted, if needed, duh. The interior will wear out faster if not kept clean and seat covers kept on the seats, duh. They don't have insurance, because they "can't afford it". Then, if they have a wreck, the car is totalled and they have no money to replace it, because not only did they not have insurance but they didn't put money into a savings acct to replace the car if totalled. They pay fines for not having insurance and get sued if they hit somebody. I'm tired of feeling sorry for people like this and picking up the slack for them. They saved several hundred dollars by not insuring their health, their car, their life. Now them or their family want us to pay for their hospital bill, help them buy a car or furnish them with one of our old ones that we could sell for a few thousand, help them pay for dental care to have a tooth pulled because they're in pain and have an abcess. Of course you're going to have an infection and abcess if you haven't had your teeth cleaned and checked in 5 years, duh. They have "extra" money, they spend it going gambling or buying lottery tickets instead of getting their teeth cleaned, paying insurance and having mammograms, pap smears, vaccinations, etc. Stuff the rest of us do on a regular basis. I have a plan. They can try getting their oil changed, belts and hoses checked, tires rotated, teeth cleaned, mammograms, paps, vaccinations, buy renters or homeowner's insurance, full-coverage on car insurance and skip the gambling trip and lottery tickets. And leave us alone whether you choose to take care of your future or not. Leave us alone. We did not make your bills and we do not owe them.
I too see enormous waste, carelessness and entitlement from ages 5 - 50 y/os. I tech at a shool .. I see kids with weave, pedi AND manicures, expensive sneakers, imitation OR name brands handbags, $90 - $200 book sacks, not to mention parents doing their HOMEWORK!!! These little shits throw away cartons of milk, whole plates of food, then pull out candy or other junk and eat it like it's the best thing since sliced bread!!! I wonder how or what these "parents" or kids nowadays are going to do when the money they should have made or saved isn't going to be enough to keep a roof over their heads? If I were a parent to any of these "lil honeys" nowadays, I'd sleep with one eye open, the other closed and a gun close by...
What I've done to survive on a pension is not buying things I don't need. I rarely buy new clothes or shoes. I wear things until they are truly worn.out and then I buy second hand. I make coffee at home. We buy second hand furniture and i have a used car. Because of that, my husband (who is similarly cheap) and I are doing fine on our limited income. I feel happy when I save money, just like other people feel all warm inside when they spend money. I'm not perfect. We do go out to supper twice a week, but we can afford it, due to all.our other cost cutting.
Gloria, it is not just Seniors, it is a lot of people. Many people are not in touch with the changes in America and the times. We are in a cruel age, with cruel out of touch leaders, and she doesn't understand they will let her be homeless.
@@commonsense6967 I agree. With this comment stating we are in a “cruel age,” I’m puzzled. There was a time before social security, food stamps, food banks, and subsidized housing.
Carol, You are absolutely right! I am in the exact position. I am currently living with a roommate. Do I love it? No. But my only other choice when I retired was to be homeless. I could not afford the mortgage and I could not afford to pay rent on the Social security that I receive each month. Now, I split everything with my roommate. If I didn’t do this, I would be out on the street. I couldn’t live in a car. I think it’s more healthy for me to be in a home situation where I can sleep comfortably and get up and use the bathroom easily and where I can shower frequently and where I can walk around which is good for my circulation, etc. I hope That people watch this video and listen to you and heed your warnings. I was a social worker for 35 years, working with seniors. Everything Carol says is absolutely true. If you are alone and a senior, start making a plan right now of how you are going to live comfortably once you retire. Especially if you do not have savings.
Every time I try to offer suggestions to someone, they reject everything. It took a while for me to realize that people don't want someone to solve their problems, they just want someone to listen to them. Sounds like that kind of person to me.
Well, this is true. No one can solve my problems because they don't know anything my life and how badly I have been traumatized. I vent some of the time, but no way can anyone else help me to change. I'm also glad she mentioned those of us with mental health and physical disabilities. We cannot fend for ourselves without some sort of healthcare, housing, and counseling.
I am a multi generation family. Three story house with a shared kitchen. 3 generations helping each other. I don’t worry about money. But I teach everyone to contribute.
I like that. One of my mom's cousins had a large bouse in San Francisco when I was growing up. It was sectioned off into 3 units. Her mother and sister lived in one, a brother lived in one and the cousin and her three daughters lived in one. It worked out really well.
I'm 75. I currently rent rooms to others in my 'shared' home. I have 3 young people at this time, but this system can work very well. There are times when the roommates didn't work together...but over the 14 yrs I've done this it has been great for most of my residents, and also great for my extra income. You hit it all right on the head.....people need to be real....and face realties...and figure out how to deal
@@Rockerlady Yes, I've used Craigslist for years. I tell people in my ad that I am going to do a paid background search on every applicant, and I actually do that research. I have a very tight contract that is lengthy and spells out many specific no nos that will get them removed. and....I spend enough time around them that they can't get away with much....and so far after 14 years I've mostly been lucky with a few small speed bumps
Pray for her. Pray that her situation would get better. Trust that the Lord will provide for her or send someone in her life to improve the situation. Nothing is too impossible for God. Blessings.
we may be going back to people renting rooms in house (Boarding Houses). I live with another woman my age, we rarely see each other, but having her pay half of everything is helpful to her and me.
In the Military we had "Auntie's and Uncle's" those whom we were stationed with and always saw at new bases, through out our time in the Military. We saw them more than our own extended family. They also were treated as actual Aunts & Uncles since we grew up with them. After my Mom died, her BFF from High School was an incredible friend to me. Her gift to me was to take a journal and every time she thought of my Mom she wrote a short story of that memory. She wrote stories of my Mom through out her life and many were some of them both as kids. It was an AMAZING gift. I learned so much about my Mom. I am grateful for all my Aunts and Uncles from the Military. RIP to most of them.
Im 65 and severely disabled..... I ended up homeless 12 yrs ago and actually ended up homeless under a bridge !!.... it took me 6 months of scrimping to come up with enough money to buy an old motorhome ....it gave me basic normalcy .... a bed...bath...kitchen and a small couch & chair with heat hot water...Electric and other than buying gasoline, insurance & groceries I really had no expenses ... I would just park in parking areas or off of back country roads .... I started working the flea markets on the weekends to make a little cash to cover it all....... there are alot of ways to live outside of the box
@@MikeClavetteSr did you put in for senior housing you pay 30% of your check and it includes your utilities if your check in less than $1275 amonth and you have less than $2500 in savings if you're check is higher you pay a higher percentage did Noone ever explain this to you if not I'm so sorry no one should have to sleep under a bridge especially disabled seniors
😊Better 4 America iS On the Agenda, it CertainLy Cant get Worse Than that sham run@ Last 4 Yrs. Oh & Another Thing Gas to get Around 4 Life Needs ShouLd be Less than; $2.25 a GaL ..it's Just Common Since to Not Put 😢that kind Of burden On Citizens, bye
Hey it worked for The Golden Girls. I used to love that show and I was young when I watched it. Regarding the stubborn lady, sometimes it takes a person time to warm up to a new idea. I’ve done it myself many times. An idea I’m shocked by at first sometimes makes more sense after I ruminate on it for awhile. Maybe she needs some rumination time. It was nice that you offered her some possible solutions. If they don’t work for her maybe they will help someone else. 😆
Offering Help or Empathy for Entitled People is like trying to fill a cup with the bottom blown out. Look out for yourself… You can’t fix Stupid. Thank you for your video and addressing this important subject for a lot of people going through these tough times usually made out of their own doing. 👍
@HanaPawsLife - thank you for saying this, it was exactly what I was going to say. as soon as I sense an entitled _’cry me a river’_ individual i run away from them
@@michelleraney3577 Because they insist on living in areas of the country with "nice" weather or heavily populated cities. What difference does the weather make when you're a disabled senior and stay inside all the time? And forget the big cities. They're filled with crime and violence. Move to a small town in a humid state with a lot of snow in the winter time and there won't be a 2 year waiting list to get into low-income housing. Especially if you tell them you're homeless. They put you to the top of their list then, if you're sleeping in your car or on the streets.
I think you would have to be very careful about picking a roommate. Will they run the TV 24 hrs a day, will they expect you to physically/mentally cater to them? There are many things to explore. Then you need to be honest with yourself...what do YOU expect of others? Having a room of your own sounds much more appealing & more likely to work.
I so agree with you!!! You gave her multiple options that would help and she shut them all down! I get her not wanting to live with someone else but then GET A JOB! Even if it's not the job you would prefer, having some money coming in is better than not.....SMDH...
Hi 👋 Carol. Good to see you. I feel she didn’t want no help. She put her pride first instead of trying to find a solution. You were absolutely in the right Carol. You are always willing to help others with your kindness. Thank you for sharing. All the blessings to you. ❤🙏🏼😊
@@gloriouslifeonwheels3621 I've had that experience many times with family/friends. I learned, the hard way, that you can't help someone who won't try to help themself. At this point she might just be in denial and reality will catch up with her. I hope she doesn't find herself completely out of options. What's so bad is that waiting lists for housing are years long. That's ANOTHER issue the government should have addressed. With this new administration, they're already starting to dismantle social security. And he hasn't been in for over a week. We are sooooo screwed. Also, wanted to know where you got that VTOMAN charging bank.
@@CheriGoodwin Actually, because corporations spend so much hiring & training new hires, and because the success of multimillion dollar projects hinges on the best people working, together, at their best, firms of psychologists specializing in group dynamics and personality assessments have created questionnaires that detect inconsistencies in answers which probably indicate lying. I mean THAT level of matching.
I’ve helped a young man a few times and he just doesn’t make good decisions. Quick to quit a job, quick to spend money unnecessarily (in my opinion), build credit card debt, etc. I’d love to manage his time and money. He’d be in much better shape! But alas, he doesn’t see the trees for the forest. Some people can grow up poor and be determined enough to not let it happen to them, and others just make exactly the same bad decisions. I can’t finance that.
What a said state of mind the woman you speak of is in. As for you that ‘s amazing that you had the thought and will to help her! With that said I have learned that for a good outcome it’s best to help someone who can maintain the help. Your help will be temporary at best and she will be in the same situation shortly. Until she changes her mentality help is only enabling the behavior.
I agree. I have learned that it is poi tress to help someone who will.be back in the same situation upon my departure. The assistance is better served with someone who is willing and able to work with the assistance.
I've only had good experiences with roommates starting in college and thereafter. Everyone paid their share of the rent on time and never got anything stolen or missing.
Great advice. I was forced to size down when I was injured at work and it turned out to be a huge blessing. My home is very small in a poorer part of town but it's paid for. Unless we lose prop 13, I should be able to manage even on a small social security check.
Unfortunately over the years I have had bad experiences with room mates and in one case, almost lost my home over it. In my state, once somebody receives mail at your address it is impossible to get them to leave without a formal eviction process. The sheriff deputy told me the steps I had to go through and I took them. The approximately 3 months (in my case) it took were fraught and I felt like I couldn't leave my house. I have not fully recovered from these experiences and would not ever willingly take a chance on a repeat.
Yes, I just went through something like this with an acquaintance, and often get into such conversations. We seldom had an empty nest; multi-generational homes have to stop being a no-no. In times past, there were group homes, or just have roommates. This was common in past times and need to come back. It's not just older folks, it's younger ones that have had to rethink living with family. You can be as much family or as independent as you agree upon.
The last sentence is key. There has to be agreement. Some families try to go right back to manipulative roles of the past. "We need to..." Hold up! What do you mean "We"?
I made up my mind that even though im a senior, im keeping the mindset of being a young person. Im going to eat healthy, take care of myself the best i can and i just landed a good paying job with no stress. I live frugal so i can actually retire and enjoy life in the next couple of years. I didn't always think this way. I was bedridden for a year and couldn't walk. Severly depressed from the loss of loved ones and super overweight. I am way different now. Its sometimes a state of mind.
Most elderly either have a studio, or small 1 bedrooms apt. Barely around 525 sq/ft. Having a roommate is not an option. It's barely big enough for their belongs. Its great it works for some, I mostly think its a problem for the young to deal with. I had issues with roommates, and moved around when I was in my 20s, but when you get into your 60's, 70's, and beyond, I don't see it happening in general for the elderly. We want to downsize, the house is to big now. But I would not ever think of getting a roommate, to get extra money, totally not worth it. I remember how it was when I was younger, one roommate stiffed me with the bills, and left stuff behind. It forced me to move again, because I refused to get another crappy roommate. I have never regretted it, sometimes I had two jobs to make ends meet. Sure it makes sense on paper when you run the numbers, in today's world no way.
As always, great informative video Carol. However, some seniors are way too set in their ways, and from my personal experience in living with several seniors , it was difficult for me to feel “at ease,” in my living arrangements with them. I learned the hard way, a lot of seniors have pre-existing medical conditions/mental health challenges. And therefore, had nothing to do with me. So, I made a decision to move out and move on to a much better place when the opportunity presented itself. I always learn a lot from you and your wisdom, Carol. You mean well and care for the folks you come across. God Bless you always and be safe in all your travels out there! Take care and mahalo from Hawaii!🙏🏽🤙🏽🫶🏽🌺🌈
@, I did, thank you! However, if there was another opportunity to try it out again as I get older and rely on SS, I’d do a better job at vetting out the person. 😉
Planning, Perseverance, Problem Solving. It's terrible the numbers of homeless everywhere. I think close to half are seniors. Don't wait for the cavalry to arrive.
Ideally i would only trust a family member or (senior) friend that could move in with you. Even then it’s not guaranteed that all would go smoothly in the long term. What a sad world we live in - long ago families lived (and took care of) each other no matter what
I agree, I would be too afraid to let a stranger live with me. Especially someone at an advanced age. If they get sick, you can't just throw them out. You might have to care for them along with trying to make it yourself
I’ve thought about renting a room with a friend. I think it’s important to know each other well and get along well together. Hope she wakes up, before it’s too late!
❤ Gloria, my mother taught us well. She was widowed with 4 young children. She learned to type, drive and landed a job. I have friends who are divorced and widowed (I’m 73) and it amazes me how they refuse to look at options so they can live a better life. This includes not just financially strapped but also emotionally lonely. If I suggest a senior center ( many have free lunches) they look at me like I’ve lost my marbles but continue to be broke and lonely. It’s hard to believe understand.
I think you were right on. People seem to think they are entitled now a days. Any of us could become homeless if the circumstances became that way. We had boarders stay at our house when I was young
My mom called that throwing a ham at a hot dog. Throwing good money at bad ideas. I think you did the right thing. I met a woman that got caught up in a romance scam. She just got evicted a few days ago. I attempted to intervene for 3 months. My final message to her was that she was fooled by them the first time and has been fooling herself ever since. I am preparing my home in hopes of looking for a roommate. I love having a craft/office room, but having a roof over my head is more important. Love your videos.
I rent a one bdrm apt for $495/month. I am the youngest in my 4 apt. building (I'm 62). 2 of them live on SS only, one has section 8. My third neighbor is quite active, rides his bike everywhere, sells stuff at the flea market to make extra cash. They all get SNAP and HEAP. I get SS (widow's benefit) and I sell on ebay. I don't qualify for any assistance, which I personally prefer, because I believe these programs are going to go away one day, even SS. Without the low income housing, I would be paying about $1K for rent. It is tough out here for sure, I try to be as flexible as possible, because surviving is a good thing, lol. I'm thankful my parents, who grew up during the Great Depression, taught me a lot about frugality.
You’re so full of wisdom!! I just met two ladies at the marina who were doing this . The one lady racked up a lot of bills on her sick dog . So she couldn’t afford her apartment and moved in with a senior friend and the two ladies are doing well
Even then they may not learn. Many people live in tents on local bike trails because they refuse help and don't want to "live by the rules" the rest of us seem to live by.
I am working hard to get some extra finances. I can't live with other people. I prefer myself. I think many divorced women prefer to be on their own. I get that lady. It is getting very hard for seniors. Lord help us.
Yes! I have encountered people in complete denial of what is coming down the road, and I have discovered something about these people. YOU CAN'T HELP THEM. Just walk away, and don't worry about them.
I completely agree. It's even more infuriating when folks expect things to miraculously happen and if they don't, it's up to everyone else to pitch in and cover their shortfall. I worked for many years caring for folks with developmental disabilities in their own apartments and in group settings. Many of them shared apartments because their disability wasn't enough or to be able to afford other things - for some the savings allowed them to buy nicer groceries or go out to eat occasionally. Having said all that, we're in 2024 now and the idea is legally terrifying to me. Squatters seem to have more rights than landlords and I wouldn't fault someone for being being afraid of that. On top of that, there are probably legal requirements that would force some folks to change or update and insurance that they can't afford and could potentially end up costing more than they could ask for rent - kinda like paying as much/more than you make at work to pay for child care while working. Again, I agree that folks need to be more active and involved in fixing their situations, but the prospect of jumping into a legal minefield is scary.
I've heard the excuses. Ive had 3 part time jobs since I've been on the road and I'm 71. I love meeting new people and working I got to meet all kinds of peeps. Ya do what ya have to.
Bless you, Aunty! I wish there was a way to love instead of just like a video. I am not a quite senior, but mid-50s and recently divorced. You are right in all that you are saying. Sometimes it takes minute for reality to settle when we have held certain paradigms for decades. Hopefully your friend will come to embrace reality before she is left with fewer options than she has now.
Many seniors prioritize their privacy, independence, and personal space over the potential financial benefits of sharing their living space with another person, even if it means they need to find alternative ways to manage their budget. I wholeheartedly respect autonomy and ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have a roommate should be made by the senior based on what feels most comfortable and appropriate for them. It may not be what you think is best for them, but It's their life. Live and let live!
thank you for sharing Carol. i wanted to add that when my daughter worked at Starbucks she talked about how some senior customers who were on tiny monthly fixed incomes, unemployed, and/or financially struggling hard and losing their house or apartments still went to Starbucks every day to get their _’Grande vanilla sweet cream cold brew drink’_ and in top of that ironically were the rudest and difficult customers. go figure what that tells you about those types. some individuals are just in denial and want to keep their _’upper-middle-class status’_ even when they evidently cannot. i stay the heck away from those types.
Carol my Mom was exactly like the individual you are talking about. My goals are to get all my children and grand children together so that we can survive. It's like living with a very delusional person when there is no comprising. If you have to live with others for survival it's better than being put out on the streets. Peace and Blessings
I have a small house. However, if I couldn't afford it, I would go to a studio apt. There are also quads with your own bedroom/bathroom & shared kitchen & living room.
I won’t deny that I rejected the idea of sharing housing for myself when I could no longer afford my apartment-I know that I would be a poor roommate, picky, cranky and judgmental. But, I looked at my options, including moving to a cheaper part of the country and subsidized housing, and made an active choice to travel in my van instead. And I love van life, for all its challenges! When I am older, probably past 80 sometime, I will probably have to pursue some other housing option, but I have lots of exploring to do first. Looking forward to your Quartzite videos!
No i think your right. Don't mind helping someone who is willing to help themselves. I call that a hand up. It doesn't do any good to help someone who is unwilling to help themselves
Hon, I completely agree with you. I grew up working class, if you needed or wanted something, you worked for it. I have been "working" in one capacity or another since I was 12 years old. As a 62 year old woman who is married to someone pushing 70, I already have plans in place for when he passes. If he passes before I am able to qualify for Social Security, I will move into a studio or rent a room until things approve. I will bank the insurance money.
In California. A roomie or anyone staying with you for 30 days has full tennants rights. You not the landlord has to evict them. You could loose your housing or worse.
Screw Ca and their weird rules. I'm so tired of hearing "this is how they do it in Ca". Who cares? I can barely stand to drive through the state, would NEVER live there and follow their "rules".
If you are able to give up your car and walk everywhere do it. There are always cabs, buses etc. for alternative transportation. That is one big expense that I do not miss at all.
Thanks for sharing. I just got back from shopping 🛒 this morning and the gym. I watched Doug Casey's take where he was talking about senior citizens in America and the coming, cuts in services and challenges. This is a must watch video. I shared it twice. Like him or not he is spot on. And Eric, an attorney with Nonprofit Helps law firm is helping senior citizens #$$$$with debt. His video was good today......... from the Ozarks
My eldest daughter, her partner, his parents, and his bother are all buying a house together. It's a larger house that provides all them with thier own space. My youngest daughter and my brother currently rent from me and probably will for a long time. This is how families are going to have to start living and i think it's actually a good thing
I believe the answer is co-ownership of 3+ bedroom homes that each person pays shared mortgage/tax/insurance/utilities equally. Rather like a condo situation with common spaces. New transfers must meet approval of other co-owners. Think Golden Girls!
You weren't wrong. I work pat-time to save for Rainy Day Fund, keep my house dark, keep heat at a reasonable temp and rarely use my oven. I'm squirreling away every$1 that I can. I'm 72 in SW Ohio.
She is not mentally ready to abandon her apt lifestyle. I worked for several years in a family shelter. I saw families and seniors trying to maintain their "middle class lifestyle" even when in a shelter. i.e. Drinking Starbucks. Taking their kids to McDonalds instead of saving up for First and Last month rent. I use to suggest that my single mothers who were friendly get a place together for a couple of years or longer and save money. All my clients said no that suggestions. They didn't want to live with anyone. Absolute insane.
Many people in poverty have been hurt, badly, by family. Friends, too. Yes, there is PTSD and paranoia, but the threats of violence, theft/destruction of property, arrest for being around drug paraphernalia, and more is quite REAL. Not everyone has the skill to "pick good people."
Getting a room-mate may sound like a very sane and simple solution, but reality is that having room-mates can often come with its own nightmares, not least of the financial variety. I remember being in my late teens when I emigrated to the US. I had a job waiting for me, as well as savings, and initially stayed a the the YWCA. I was in a state of complete shock after moving in with three young women of similar age. They were less than clean, had loose morals, and no respect for my property, even considered my underwear, cosmetics, clothes jewelry fair game. One may even have been a hooker! Though each person had a separate shelf in the fridge, they would steal whatever they felt like, bring strange men into the house, and failed to share chores. I could go on, but you get the idea. If room mates are not frugal, one can end up being worse off, there are lifestyle habits such as drugs and alcohol use to consider. No thanks, when it comes to room-mates, I have my little RV if ever I feel that poor! And, when children are involved, that takes things to a whole different level. In similar vein, I have noticed Financial Planners are often keen to tell Seniors to give up their cars, yet they do not practice what they preach. Taking away a person's car can totally hobble them, unless they happen to live in a town like that one I grew up in, where Public Transportation was readily available, and most needs were within a short walking distance. Obviously, wasting money on Starbucks, McDonalds and on other foolish luxuries is wasteful, but I stick to my guns when it comes to living with anyone else. It is usually just asking for trouble. And, if things don't work out, one is left looking for somewhere else to live at short notice. Of course, there are good situations, but I would say they are in the minority. Sometimes, people have parts of their personalities that do not surface right away, and are able to put on their best behaviour, until things go belly-up. A friend owns a Boarding House, and is continuously having to evict tenants for none payment. People who cannot afford a place of their own are often not the most responsible.
@@sjordan7085 ....your roommate experiences have been the complete opposite of mine. I've had 13 roommates through the years and all have been financially responsible and respectful. No one used my personal things or brought strangers over without running it by me. `I've had mostly female roommates and a few male. But everyone was mature and considerate.
Going through this with my mother in law - not understanding she requires assistance and doesn’t want anyone in her house because she’s afraid everyone is out to steal from her.
My sentiments exactly throwing good after bad! Everyone google December 2023 Senator Rand Paul released an eye-opening report on the government wasted billions on nefarious madness. Truth be told we deserve to live our best quality of life right now in real-time.
The Victim mentality is strong in all generations. I personally feel there is an answer to housing in the way they rent College Apartments. 4 Bedroom units, with private baths and shared living space. The key in these units is that each person has a separate lease that only ties them to their room and the cost. The issue with a roommate is often the place renting to you wants each to qualify and be responsible for the full amount or rent. Of course, they can't or they would live on their own. Additionally, a person can be burned and stuck paying all the cost if the other refuses. We are a dual income society, and trying to love on your own is a privilege not afforded to many.
@@deeplansandbudgets That type of arrangement is something that is becoming more common here in QLD 🇦🇺 They’re called rooming houses and I know someone who invests in them and someone else who lives in one. New rooming house builds here I believe have to have one unit built as accessible for those with a wheelchair or limited mobility. The person I know who lives in one of these buildings is in her sixties and still working, it is owned by a not for profit company, possibly church affiliated but open to anyone who qualifies and it works well. There are house rules they have to abide by but most of that is just common courtesy. Everyone minds their business and gets along. It’s definitely something I would consider if my circumstances changed.
I think you are right. I always thought my sisters & I would be like the golden girls & live together. Do not think that’s realistic so we trying to live in same complex so we are together yet have our own spaces
I'm 66, both my maternal and paternal grandmother's we're Indigenous originated from Reservation life.
During my youth reference to female Elders was always Auntie or Grandmother. The Elder males were Grandfather or Uncle. Considering I was an unwanted child, it was that Community that nurtured and raised me. A genuine blessing throughout an extremely challenging childhood. I became the man I am, thanks to my Elders 🙏🏾✊🏾❤️
🫶🏾
💖💖💖
@@jr2no160 😌
I’m so glad that you had elders to help you growing up. So many people just don’t have nobody.
I have always been a I hard worker. I was divorced when my daughters were young. I raised them without assistance from the government. I saved as much as possible under the circumstances. I thought I would be able to save more when my youngest graduated college. In her senior year I had my first stroke. Since then I have had another stroke and a brain tumor. Some seniors don't have many options and are just trying to stay alive. Until someone is in their shoes, they will never fully understand the struggle.
Wow I’m sorry for the strokes and brain tumor. I hope you get better.
@@stormdavies250 Thank You. I appreciate your well wishes.
That's for darn sure. I've been through some rough and traumatic times. It left it's mark. People really can't know unless they've "been there". I'm sorry you've gone through this and I hope things get better for you.
Hopefully, you can apply for Medicaid or Medicaid waiver for assisted living, if needed.
Please apply for every single social program, you have earned it, you need the help.
I recall my elders talking about boarding houses.
Makes so much sense
My great grandmother had a boarding house after great grandfather had a stroke and couldn't work the farm any longer, My mother and her older sister lived with her since my grandmother died in 1928 and grandfather took the 2 boys with him and baby went to an adult cousin. My mother said she and her sister had chores at the boarding house, I remember my mother telling me about the boarding house. I also knew a fellow who lived in a rooming house here in town where I lived. It was a big house owed by an older woman and she rented the upstairs rooms to several other working people with a shared bathroom. The renters couldn't afford their own apartment. My mother had a nice 3 bedroom house and she kept the master bedroom and rented to 2 bedrooms to 2 working men who shared the bathroom with light kitchen use. One man was only there 5 days a week and wen home to another state on weekends. Both men were professional types and working full time.
It really does.
Sounds like a plan to me!
Lived in a couple in late 1960 & early 1970. I didn’t see anything demeaning about it, but 30 years later I had a man, much older than I, take it that we were poor… which maybe we were by some folks standards, but we had everything we needed.
There are a lot of boarding home rules. How many people today want to follow the rules?
Renting a room to a stranger can be dangerous. They can turn squatter on you and then try to force you out of your own home.
Well stated
This! Even with the roommate situation. I don't think a lot of people are aware of squatters. If you know, you know how horrible it can be and cost you your sanity and possibly your life.
True. And even when you thought you knew them. But as she said, some of us are fresh out of options.
@@nuthinbutlovethere would definitely have to be background checks on the person your going to be living with or allowing to live with you.
@@carmenwheatley7316 even background checks don't tell everything. It's such a chance to take these days and those who don't understand haven't really experienced it.
When society was more agriculture with a family farm, children often built a home or installed a mobile home on the family property. Family elders always had a home an family looked after them as they aged. We've lost that way of life for the most part. I also remember, when I was young, that city families would have a large townhouse, maybe 3 stories and a basement and extended families lived together and people had their own space. We've lost that way of life.
Seniors and others are going to have to reconsider the advantages of some of those options to make it in the future.
Weve lost so much
You're right. Sometimes people like to complain more than find realistic solutions.
My situation is different, as I own my home. But one thing I’ve noticed about people with low incomes is HOW they spend the money they do have. Cigarettes, junky Amazon purchases, cutesy but unnecessary decorative stuff, take out coffee ( I can have one cup of coffee I make myself for many days for the cost of one Starbucks.) Also, food choices! If I’m at the end of my budget, I don’t mind fixing a can of soup and peanut butter sandwich, with carrot sticks or grapes. I prefer to MAKE money by spending less. I know too many people that spend money that could be saved for emergencies or for when the rent goes up.
So true. It seems like a simple thing and common sense, but I know relatives who waste their money, then want you to help take up the slack when things go bad. Lots of pot, vacations, fast food etc. Never putting anything up for a rainy day.
I know right? Too much money spent on drugs, cigs, alcohol, eating out, decorative stuff, coffee, pets, tattoos, expensive non-important dental work, expensive clothes, shoes, purses, cars, etc. People think because their car is breaking down, they need to throw it away or park it out back and get a new one. I can fix a car or have it fixed for a fraction of the cost of a new one. Just an excuse for them to get a new car. They don't get the oil changed or the tires rotated, or even clean it. Then just throw it away when it breaks down. Cars are going to break down. It's a fact of life. Parts wear out and have to be replaced. They break down faster if the oil is not kept changed, duh. Tires are going to wear out, so have a savings account that you put a very small amt of money into monthly for when you need to buy new tires. They wear out faster if they're not rotated and air pressure checked every couple of weeks or monthly and adjusted, if needed, duh. The interior will wear out faster if not kept clean and seat covers kept on the seats, duh. They don't have insurance, because they "can't afford it". Then, if they have a wreck, the car is totalled and they have no money to replace it, because not only did they not have insurance but they didn't put money into a savings acct to replace the car if totalled. They pay fines for not having insurance and get sued if they hit somebody. I'm tired of feeling sorry for people like this and picking up the slack for them. They saved several hundred dollars by not insuring their health, their car, their life. Now them or their family want us to pay for their hospital bill, help them buy a car or furnish them with one of our old ones that we could sell for a few thousand, help them pay for dental care to have a tooth pulled because they're in pain and have an abcess. Of course you're going to have an infection and abcess if you haven't had your teeth cleaned and checked in 5 years, duh. They have "extra" money, they spend it going gambling or buying lottery tickets instead of getting their teeth cleaned, paying insurance and having mammograms, pap smears, vaccinations, etc. Stuff the rest of us do on a regular basis. I have a plan. They can try getting their oil changed, belts and hoses checked, tires rotated, teeth cleaned, mammograms, paps, vaccinations, buy renters or homeowner's insurance, full-coverage on car insurance and skip the gambling trip and lottery tickets. And leave us alone whether you choose to take care of your future or not. Leave us alone. We did not make your bills and we do not owe them.
I too see enormous waste, carelessness and entitlement from ages 5 - 50 y/os. I tech at a shool ..
I see kids with weave, pedi AND manicures, expensive sneakers, imitation OR name brands handbags, $90 - $200 book sacks, not to mention parents doing their HOMEWORK!!!
These little shits throw away cartons of milk, whole plates of food, then pull out candy or other junk and eat it like it's the best thing since sliced bread!!!
I wonder how or what these "parents" or kids nowadays are going to do when the money they should have made or saved isn't going to be enough to keep a roof over their heads?
If I were a parent to any of these "lil honeys" nowadays, I'd sleep with one eye open, the other closed and a gun close by...
What I've done to survive on a pension is not buying things I don't need. I rarely buy new clothes or shoes. I wear things until they are truly worn.out and then I buy second hand. I make coffee at home. We buy second hand furniture and i have a used car. Because of that, my husband (who is similarly cheap) and I are doing fine on our limited income. I feel happy when I save money, just like other people feel all warm inside when they spend money. I'm not perfect. We do go out to supper twice a week, but we can afford it, due to all.our other cost cutting.
Gloria, it is not just Seniors, it is a lot of people. Many people are not in touch with the changes in America and the times. We are in a cruel age, with cruel out of touch leaders, and she doesn't understand they will let her be homeless.
Hasn’t this always been the case? Was there a time when our leaders did more than now for the homeless?
@@tmusa2002Nope. But the US is still the best deal for all except freeloaders.
Carol knows this video could go either way young or old people. But this video is about seniors.
@@commonsense6967 I agree. With this comment stating we are in a “cruel age,” I’m puzzled. There was a time before social security, food stamps, food banks, and subsidized housing.
@@Shylis-rs9dy calm down and feel free to mind your own business Karen
Carol,
You are absolutely right! I am in the exact position. I am currently living with a roommate. Do I love it? No. But my only other choice when I retired was to be homeless. I could not afford the mortgage and I could not afford to pay rent on the Social security that I receive each month. Now, I split everything with my roommate. If I didn’t do this, I would be out on the street. I couldn’t live in a car. I think it’s more healthy for me to be in a home situation where I can sleep comfortably and get up and use the bathroom easily and where I can shower frequently and where I can walk around which is good for my circulation, etc. I hope That people watch this video and listen to you and heed your warnings. I was a social worker for 35 years, working with seniors. Everything Carol says is absolutely true. If you are alone and a senior, start making a plan right now of how you are going to live comfortably once you retire. Especially if you do not have savings.
Completely agree
💯!!
Every time I try to offer suggestions to someone, they reject everything. It took a while for me to realize that people don't want someone to solve their problems, they just want someone to listen to them. Sounds like that kind of person to me.
True. Sometimes it is best to just ask, "Would you like suggestions?" and if they say "No" keep still.
Well, this is true. No one can solve my problems because they don't know anything my life and how badly I have been traumatized. I vent some of the time, but no way can anyone else help me to change. I'm also glad she mentioned those of us with mental health and physical disabilities. We cannot fend for ourselves without some sort of healthcare, housing, and counseling.
I am a multi generation family. Three story house with a shared kitchen. 3 generations helping each other. I don’t worry about money. But I teach everyone to contribute.
I like that. One of my mom's cousins had a large bouse in San Francisco when I was growing up. It was sectioned off into 3 units. Her mother and sister lived in one, a brother lived in one and the cousin and her three daughters lived in one. It worked out really well.
I'm 75. I currently rent rooms to others in my 'shared' home. I have 3 young people at this time, but this system can work very well. There are times when the roommates didn't work together...but over the 14 yrs I've done this it has been great for most of my residents, and also great for my extra income. You hit it all right on the head.....people need to be real....and face realties...and figure out how to deal
How did you find these roommates, online? It's hard to find trustworthy people. Or they may refuse to leave when asked.
@@Rockerlady Yes, I've used Craigslist for years. I tell people in my ad that I am going to do a paid background search on every applicant, and I actually do that research. I have a very tight contract that is lengthy and spells out many specific no nos that will get them removed. and....I spend enough time around them that they can't get away with much....and so far after 14 years I've mostly been lucky with a few small speed bumps
Pray for her. Pray that her situation would get better. Trust that the Lord will provide for her or send someone in her life to improve the situation. Nothing is too impossible for God. Blessings.
Omg, get help for your brainwashing, please.
This woman is so wise, I love hearing what she shares so calmly and straightforward.
Thank you Deborah😊
If a person is in denial when they are older with very limited resources, then they were most likely in denial when they were younger.
Straight up truth !
Absolutely. It’s not like a switch gets flipped and you change into someone else.
most people become more themselves as they age
Or... trauma. Serious trauma- - like losing your entire family in a fire or car accident.
@@nanshe3xThat CAN happen, though, in cases of severely traumatic events.
we may be going back to people renting rooms in house (Boarding Houses). I live with another woman my age, we rarely see each other, but having her pay half of everything is helpful to her and me.
In the Military we had "Auntie's and Uncle's" those whom we were stationed with and always saw at new bases, through out our time in the Military. We saw them more than our own extended family. They also were treated as actual Aunts & Uncles since we grew up with them.
After my Mom died, her BFF from High School was an incredible friend to me. Her gift to me was to take a journal and every time she thought of my Mom she wrote a short story of that memory. She wrote stories of my Mom through out her life and many were some of them both as kids. It was an AMAZING gift. I learned so much about my Mom.
I am grateful for all my Aunts and Uncles from the Military. RIP to most of them.
Im 65 and severely disabled..... I ended up homeless 12 yrs ago and actually ended up homeless under a bridge !!.... it took me 6 months of scrimping to come up with enough money to buy an old motorhome ....it gave me basic normalcy .... a bed...bath...kitchen and a small couch & chair with heat hot water...Electric and other than buying gasoline, insurance & groceries I really had no expenses ... I would just park in parking areas or off of back country roads .... I started working the flea markets on the weekends to make a little cash to cover it all....... there are alot of ways to live outside of the box
You are inspirational.
@@MikeClavetteSr 😌👍
I love your courage
You are amazing. A lot of people would not know to do what you have done. Good for you and hope your future is good 👍
@@MikeClavetteSr did you put in for senior housing you pay 30% of your check and it includes your utilities if your check in less than $1275 amonth and you have less than $2500 in savings if you're check is higher you pay a higher percentage did Noone ever explain this to you if not I'm so sorry no one should have to sleep under a bridge especially disabled seniors
Communal living will definitely be the norm in the present and future
Going to have to be I think.
Good information as always. Life is about to get harder for a lot of us I'm afraid.
😊Better 4 America iS On the Agenda, it CertainLy Cant get Worse Than that sham run@ Last 4 Yrs. Oh & Another Thing Gas to get Around 4 Life Needs ShouLd be Less than; $2.25 a GaL ..it's Just Common Since to Not Put 😢that kind Of burden On Citizens, bye
It's imperative that we help those who are willing to help themselves. You are not wrong here.
Hey it worked for The Golden Girls. I used to love that show and I was young when I watched it. Regarding the stubborn lady, sometimes it takes a person time to warm up to a new idea. I’ve done it myself many times. An idea I’m shocked by at first sometimes makes more sense after I ruminate on it for awhile. Maybe she needs some rumination time. It was nice that you offered her some possible solutions. If they don’t work for her maybe they will help someone else. 😆
I have learned to provide thr info I can and move on.
Sometimes you really want to help people, but if they don't want to help themselves - there's nothing you can do.
She should be very careful about roommates, things aren't like they used to be 😊
Offering Help or Empathy for Entitled People is like trying to fill a cup with the bottom blown out. Look out for yourself… You can’t fix Stupid. Thank you for your video and addressing this important subject for a lot of people going through these tough times usually made out of their own doing. 👍
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ypu really can't fix it.
@HanaPawsLife - thank you for saying this, it was exactly what I was going to say. as soon as I sense an entitled _’cry me a river’_ individual i run away from them
Absolutely right...I believe in giving a helping hand but you have to help yourself
The golden girls had the right idea!
I am a senior living in a senior complex based on income its not the best but it's not the worse.
You are luckier than some. Some people have been on a waiting list to get into one of those complexes for years.
@@michelleraney3577 Because they insist on living in areas of the country with "nice" weather or heavily populated cities. What difference does the weather make when you're a disabled senior and stay inside all the time? And forget the big cities. They're filled with crime and violence. Move to a small town in a humid state with a lot of snow in the winter time and there won't be a 2 year waiting list to get into low-income housing. Especially if you tell them you're homeless. They put you to the top of their list then, if you're sleeping in your car or on the streets.
Some people have a problem for every solution.
This! Well said.
Carol I tried roommates before I lost my home
The anxiety of living with another
Was too much
We’re all different
In solutions that can work😍
Well stated, we are all different...stay safe
That is so true.
I think you would have to be very careful about picking a roommate. Will they run the TV 24 hrs a day, will they expect you to physically/mentally cater to them? There are many things to explore. Then you need to be honest with yourself...what do YOU expect of others? Having a room of your own sounds much more appealing & more likely to work.
Are you homeless, where are you living after you lost your house?
Most leases state no one besides original named tenant (s) allowed.
I could rent a room with a bathroom far easier than having a roommate in my own house.
Agree
I so agree with you!!! You gave her multiple options that would help and she shut them all down! I get her not wanting to live with someone else but then GET A JOB! Even if it's not the job you would prefer, having some money coming in is better than not.....SMDH...
I enjoy your kindness and honesty. You have great concern for the poor and elderly.
Thank you so much!
Hi 👋 Carol. Good to see you. I feel she didn’t want no help. She put her pride first instead of trying to find a solution. You were absolutely in the right Carol. You are always willing to help others with your kindness. Thank you for sharing. All the blessings to you. ❤🙏🏼😊
I finally came to that conclusion too.
@@gloriouslifeonwheels3621 I've had that experience many times with family/friends. I learned, the hard way, that you can't help someone who won't try to help themself. At this point she might just be in denial and reality will catch up with her. I hope she doesn't find herself completely out of options. What's so bad is that waiting lists for housing are years long. That's ANOTHER issue the government should have addressed. With this new administration, they're already starting to dismantle social security. And he hasn't been in for over a week. We are sooooo screwed. Also, wanted to know where you got that VTOMAN charging bank.
I wish all senior apartments had a match service for roommate kinda like colleges
With today's technology and personality analysis, matching really should be a thing!
@targetedtruthfinder, that would be great idea for an app.
People would just lie on them. For every check, there's a con.
@CheriGoodwin Well also there is the human factor meeting the person nothing is going to be 100 percent guaranteed same as life there's always cons
@@CheriGoodwin Actually, because corporations spend so much hiring & training new hires, and because the success of multimillion dollar projects hinges on the best people working, together, at their best, firms of psychologists specializing in group dynamics and personality assessments have created questionnaires that detect inconsistencies in answers which probably indicate lying. I mean THAT level of matching.
I’ve helped a young man a few times and he just doesn’t make good decisions. Quick to quit a job, quick to spend money unnecessarily (in my opinion), build credit card debt, etc. I’d love to manage his time and money. He’d be in much better shape! But alas, he doesn’t see the trees for the forest. Some people can grow up poor and be determined enough to not let it happen to them, and others just make exactly the same bad decisions. I can’t finance that.
What a said state of mind the woman you speak of is in. As for you that ‘s amazing that you had the thought and will to help her! With that said I have learned that for a good outcome it’s best to help someone who can maintain the help. Your help will be temporary at best and she will be in the same situation shortly. Until she changes her mentality help is only enabling the behavior.
I agree. I have learned that it is poi tress to help someone who will.be back in the same situation upon my departure. The assistance is better served with someone who is willing and able to work with the assistance.
Roommates can be nightmare people
True. But they can also be a blessing. I have had both.
There are good ones out there.
I've only had good experiences with roommates starting in college and thereafter. Everyone paid their share of the rent on time and never got anything stolen or missing.
I totally agree!
Sometimes. But good ones give peace of mind and can actually enrich your life. Been there.
Can't wait to see the upcoming videos👍🏾
I think they are really interesting. Let me know what you think😊
Great advice. I was forced to size down when I was injured at work and it turned out to be a huge blessing. My home is very small in a poorer part of town but it's paid for. Unless we lose prop 13, I should be able to manage even on a small social security check.
Unfortunately over the years I have had bad experiences with room mates and in one case, almost lost my home over it. In my state, once somebody receives mail at your address it is impossible to get them to leave without a formal eviction process. The sheriff deputy told me the steps I had to go through and I took them. The approximately 3 months (in my case) it took were fraught and I felt like I couldn't leave my house. I have not fully recovered from these experiences and would not ever willingly take a chance on a repeat.
What were the steps to evict?
Sweetheart, nowadays you just can't trust or help ANYONE!!!!
Yes, I just went through something like this with an acquaintance, and often get into such conversations. We seldom had an empty nest; multi-generational homes have to stop being a no-no. In times past, there were group homes, or just have roommates. This was common in past times and need to come back. It's not just older folks, it's younger ones that have had to rethink living with family. You can be as much family or as independent as you agree upon.
The last sentence is key. There has to be agreement. Some families try to go right back to manipulative roles of the past. "We need to..." Hold up! What do you mean "We"?
@@user-ov4wr5yu4r If this overprotective grandmother can learn to step back, anyone can.
I made up my mind that even though im a senior, im keeping the mindset of being a young person. Im going to eat healthy, take care of myself the best i can and i just landed a good paying job with no stress. I live frugal so i can actually retire and enjoy life in the next couple of years. I didn't always think this way. I was bedridden for a year and couldn't walk. Severly depressed from the loss of loved ones and super overweight. I am way different now. Its sometimes a state of mind.
Thats a very good 1 !!!!!!
State of mind is critical. What a great turn around you made! Congratulations
Most elderly either have a studio, or small 1 bedrooms apt. Barely around 525 sq/ft. Having a roommate is not an option. It's barely big enough for their belongs. Its great it works for some, I mostly think its a problem for the young to deal with. I had issues with roommates, and moved around when I was in my 20s, but when you get into your 60's, 70's, and beyond, I don't see it happening in general for the elderly.
We want to downsize, the house is to big now. But I would not ever think of getting a roommate, to get extra money, totally not worth it.
I remember how it was when I was younger, one roommate stiffed me with the bills, and left stuff behind. It forced me to move again, because I refused to get another crappy roommate. I have never regretted it, sometimes I had two jobs to make ends meet.
Sure it makes sense on paper when you run the numbers, in today's world no way.
Well stated
I agree! I've rented rooms with friends & with strangers it was miserable either way.
The friends weren't friends after the fact
@jackieblue4128 true
As always, great informative video Carol. However, some seniors are way too set in their ways, and from my personal experience in living with several seniors , it was difficult for me to feel “at ease,” in my living arrangements with them. I learned the hard way, a lot of seniors have pre-existing medical conditions/mental health challenges. And therefore, had nothing to do with me. So, I made a decision to move out and move on to a much better place when the opportunity presented itself. I always learn a lot from you and your wisdom, Carol. You mean well and care for the folks you come across. God Bless you always and be safe in all your travels out there! Take care and mahalo from Hawaii!🙏🏽🤙🏽🫶🏽🌺🌈
You tried.and discovered what works best for you😊
@, I did, thank you! However, if there was another opportunity to try it out again as I get older and rely on SS, I’d do a better job at vetting out the person. 😉
A hand up, not a hand out…wise words. You are an angel🥰
In Hawaii Auntie is a sign of respect. I remember. I was around the culture and loved it. Hence my ministry, Aloha Ke Akua. God is Love.
Planning, Perseverance, Problem Solving.
It's terrible the numbers of homeless everywhere. I think close to half are seniors. Don't wait for the cavalry to arrive.
The cavalry ain't coming!!
I agree with you. Now, how do you find a compatable roommate? That's the hard part.
I think it woukd be worth approaching a local senior citizen's organisation to see if they know of anyone in a similar situation.
Ideally i would only trust a family member or (senior) friend that could move in with you. Even then it’s not guaranteed that all would go smoothly in the long term. What a sad world we live in - long ago families lived (and took care of) each other no matter what
Core values have certainly changed and not for the better!
I've done it 3 times. Not "enjoyable, but the money helped out. Never had any awful experiences.
I found it enjoyable having roommates and never had a bad experience either. Made some really good friends through it.
I agree, I would be too afraid to let a stranger live with me. Especially someone at an advanced age. If they get sick, you can't just throw them out. You might have to care for them along with trying to make it yourself
You do have to do.your due diligence in checking a potential roommate out or.picking someone ypu already know.
I’ve thought about renting a room with a friend. I think it’s important to know each other well and get along well together. Hope she wakes up, before it’s too late!
I can’t wait to hear about the three ladies living in quartzite.
❤ Gloria, my mother taught us well. She was widowed with 4 young children. She learned to type, drive and landed a job. I have friends who are divorced and widowed (I’m 73) and it amazes me how they refuse to look at options so they can live a better life. This includes not just financially strapped but also emotionally lonely. If I suggest a senior center ( many have free lunches) they look at me like I’ve lost my marbles but continue to be broke and lonely. It’s hard to believe understand.
It is hard to understand. Some people just have a hard time doing anything different even if it is beneficial.
I think you were right on. People seem to think they are entitled now a days. Any of us could become homeless if the circumstances became that way. We had boarders stay at our house when I was young
My mom called that throwing a ham at a hot dog. Throwing good money at bad ideas. I think you did the right thing.
I met a woman that got caught up in a romance scam. She just got evicted a few days ago. I attempted to intervene for 3 months. My final message to her was that she was fooled by them the first time and has been fooling herself ever since. I am preparing my home in hopes of looking for a roommate. I love having a craft/office room, but having a roof over my head is more important. Love your videos.
Sending good thoughts your way to find the perfect roommate.
Heard recently that 25% of US elders are trying to survive off $15,000 or less.
Actually I thought it was more than that as shocking as that is.
Closer to a third than a quarter in most areas
I rent a one bdrm apt for $495/month. I am the youngest in my 4 apt. building (I'm 62). 2 of them live on SS only, one has section 8. My third neighbor is quite active, rides his bike everywhere, sells stuff at the flea market to make extra cash. They all get SNAP and HEAP. I get SS (widow's benefit) and I sell on ebay. I don't qualify for any assistance, which I personally prefer, because I believe these programs are going to go away one day, even SS. Without the low income housing, I would be paying about $1K for rent. It is tough out here for sure, I try to be as flexible as possible, because surviving is a good thing, lol. I'm thankful my parents, who grew up during the Great Depression, taught me a lot about frugality.
And now it will get worse . Trump ran on a platform of cutting social security. 😢
@@nancystockwell7829what state and city please
You’re so full of wisdom!! I just met two ladies at the marina who were doing this . The one lady racked up a lot of bills on her sick dog . So she couldn’t afford her apartment and moved in with a senior friend and the two ladies are doing well
It really can be a great solution!
Some people have to hit the bottom before they wake up. I agree with you. She will need to find her own solution.
Even then they may not learn. Many people live in tents on local bike trails because they refuse help and don't want to "live by the rules" the rest of us seem to live by.
I think you are spot on about the future for seniors. Thank you for your common sense approach to problem solving.
It’s a form of respect same here in Hawaii … it’s a norm for us to acknowledge our elders❤RESPECT
Aloha We call that good home training😊
I am working hard to get some extra finances. I can't live with other people. I prefer myself. I think many divorced women prefer to be on their own. I get that lady. It is getting very hard for seniors. Lord help us.
Yes! I have encountered people in complete denial of what is coming down the road, and I have discovered something about these people. YOU CAN'T HELP THEM. Just walk away, and don't worry about them.
I understand your frustration. I have a friend who refuses to use food pantries. She will not and is living on oatmeal. Breaks my heart.
You can lead a horse to water.but can't make it drink!!
I completely agree. It's even more infuriating when folks expect things to miraculously happen and if they don't, it's up to everyone else to pitch in and cover their shortfall.
I worked for many years caring for folks with developmental disabilities in their own apartments and in group settings. Many of them shared apartments because their disability wasn't enough or to be able to afford other things - for some the savings allowed them to buy nicer groceries or go out to eat occasionally.
Having said all that, we're in 2024 now and the idea is legally terrifying to me. Squatters seem to have more rights than landlords and I wouldn't fault someone for being being afraid of that. On top of that, there are probably legal requirements that would force some folks to change or update and insurance that they can't afford and could potentially end up costing more than they could ask for rent - kinda like paying as much/more than you make at work to pay for child care while working.
Again, I agree that folks need to be more active and involved in fixing their situations, but the prospect of jumping into a legal minefield is scary.
I've heard the excuses. Ive had 3 part time jobs since I've been on the road and I'm 71. I love meeting new people and working I got to meet all kinds of peeps. Ya do what ya have to.
Well I feel the same way as that woman. I would rather live in my vehicle.
I like your smiling and your concern.
🥰🥰🥰
Bless you, Aunty! I wish there was a way to love instead of just like a video. I am not a quite senior, but mid-50s and recently divorced. You are right in all that you are saying. Sometimes it takes minute for reality to settle when we have held certain paradigms for decades. Hopefully your friend will come to embrace reality before she is left with fewer options than she has now.
Divorce can be a monster
Hope you are getting thru it okaym
Many seniors prioritize their privacy, independence, and personal space over the potential financial benefits of sharing their living space with another person, even if it means they need to find alternative ways to manage their budget. I wholeheartedly respect autonomy and ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have a roommate should be made by the senior based on what feels most comfortable and appropriate for them. It may not be what you think is best for them, but It's their life. Live and let live!
thank you for sharing Carol. i wanted to add that when my daughter worked at Starbucks she talked about how some senior customers who were on tiny monthly fixed incomes, unemployed, and/or financially struggling hard and losing their house or apartments still went to Starbucks every day to get their _’Grande vanilla sweet cream cold brew drink’_ and in top of that ironically were the rudest and difficult customers. go figure what that tells you about those types. some individuals are just in denial and want to keep their _’upper-middle-class status’_ even when they evidently cannot. i stay the heck away from those types.
I have a hard time understanding that. Keeping up with the Jones is a sad way to live.
A client 90yrs young, rented her upper bedroom to a college girl, felt safe at night, and was included in girls night in 😊
That is so cool!!
Carol my Mom was exactly like the individual you are talking about. My goals are to get all my children and grand children together so that we can survive. It's like living with a very delusional person when there is no comprising. If you have to live with others for survival it's better than being put out on the streets. Peace and Blessings
I have a small house. However, if I couldn't afford it, I would go to a studio apt. There are also quads with your own bedroom/bathroom & shared kitchen & living room.
I won’t deny that I rejected the idea of sharing housing for myself when I could no longer afford my apartment-I know that I would be a poor roommate, picky, cranky and judgmental. But, I looked at my options, including moving to a cheaper part of the country and subsidized housing, and made an active choice to travel in my van instead. And I love van life, for all its challenges! When I am older, probably past 80 sometime, I will probably have to pursue some other housing option, but I have lots of exploring to do first.
Looking forward to your Quartzite videos!
The thing is you did something. Didn't just sit around. And look how it turned out👍
No i think your right. Don't mind helping someone who is willing to help themselves.
I call that a hand up.
It doesn't do any good to help someone who is unwilling to help themselves
Hon, I completely agree with you. I grew up working class, if you needed or wanted something, you worked for it. I have been "working" in one capacity or another since I was 12 years old. As a 62 year old woman who is married to someone pushing 70, I already have plans in place for when he passes. If he passes before I am able to qualify for Social Security, I will move into a studio or rent a room until things approve. I will bank the insurance money.
In California. A roomie or anyone staying with you for 30 days has full tennants rights. You not the landlord has to evict them. You could loose your housing or worse.
You do have to do your due dilligence on who you choose.
Screw Ca and their weird rules. I'm so tired of hearing "this is how they do it in Ca". Who cares? I can barely stand to drive through the state, would NEVER live there and follow their "rules".
If you are able to give up your car and walk everywhere do it. There are always cabs, buses etc. for alternative transportation. That is one big expense that I do not miss at all.
A fri3nd if mine did give up her car. She really.missed having it but was better off financially.
GOOD FOR YOU for not giving her money!! That would be a bottomless pit with an ungrateful resident.
Everyone knows someone like that. They complain about a situation but no suggestion can work.
Thanks for sharing. I just got back from shopping 🛒 this morning and the gym. I watched Doug Casey's take where he was talking about senior citizens in America and the coming, cuts in services and challenges. This is a must watch video. I shared it twice. Like him or not he is spot on. And Eric, an attorney with Nonprofit Helps law firm is helping senior citizens #$$$$with debt. His video was good today......... from the Ozarks
Excellent and thanks for sharing.
My eldest daughter, her partner, his parents, and his bother are all buying a house together. It's a larger house that provides all them with thier own space. My youngest daughter and my brother currently rent from me and probably will for a long time. This is how families are going to have to start living and i think it's actually a good thing
I think it is a good thing too.
Save yourself protect your spirit
Such good wisdom. We need this
"GLOW" I love the podcast keep telling the real truth.
You are absolutely correct in your thinking.
I'm 100% with you on this one.
I don’t make decisions out of fear. I have a roommate and it’s been fine. Senior co-housing is getting a lot of traction.
I believe the answer is co-ownership of 3+ bedroom homes that each person pays shared mortgage/tax/insurance/utilities equally. Rather like a condo situation with common spaces. New transfers must meet approval of other co-owners. Think Golden Girls!
I absolutely love and look forward to your posts. 💋🥰👍
That is a good option👍
You weren't wrong. I work pat-time to save for Rainy Day Fund, keep my house dark, keep heat at a reasonable temp and rarely use my oven. I'm squirreling away every$1 that I can. I'm 72 in SW Ohio.
Are you divorced, married, widow or never married?
I'm surprised you have to do this at 72
👍👍👍👍👍Good job Martna
She is wise to be doing this at any age!!!!
You are correct 💯!
Thank you for the video. Blessings to you.
I enjoy your channel --- the varied topics, the valuable info, etc ...
Newer subscriber
God's blessings to you and those here!
She is not mentally ready to abandon her apt lifestyle. I worked for several years in a family shelter. I saw families and seniors trying to maintain their "middle class lifestyle" even when in a shelter. i.e. Drinking Starbucks. Taking their kids to McDonalds instead of saving up for First and Last month rent.
I use to suggest that my single mothers who were friendly get a place together for a couple of years or longer and save money.
All my clients said no that suggestions. They didn't want to live with anyone.
Absolute insane.
Many people in poverty have been hurt, badly, by family. Friends, too. Yes, there is PTSD and paranoia, but the threats of violence, theft/destruction of property, arrest for being around drug paraphernalia, and more is quite REAL. Not everyone has the skill to "pick good people."
Getting a room-mate may sound like a very sane and simple solution, but reality is that having room-mates can often come with its own nightmares, not least of the financial variety. I remember being in my late teens when I emigrated to the US. I had a job waiting for me, as well as savings, and initially stayed a the the YWCA. I was in a state of complete shock after moving in with three young women of similar age. They were less than clean, had loose morals, and no respect for my property, even considered my underwear, cosmetics, clothes jewelry fair game. One may even have been a hooker! Though each person had a separate shelf in the fridge, they would steal whatever they felt like, bring strange men into the house, and failed to share chores. I could go on, but you get the idea. If room mates are not frugal, one can end up being worse off, there are lifestyle habits such as drugs and alcohol use to consider. No thanks, when it comes to room-mates, I have my little RV if ever I feel that poor! And, when children are involved, that takes things to a whole different level.
In similar vein, I have noticed Financial Planners are often keen to tell Seniors to give up their cars, yet they do not practice what they preach. Taking away a person's car can totally hobble them, unless they happen to live in a town like that one I grew up in, where Public Transportation was readily available, and most needs were within a short walking distance.
Obviously, wasting money on Starbucks, McDonalds and on other foolish luxuries is wasteful, but I stick to my guns when it comes to living with anyone else. It is usually just asking for trouble. And, if things don't work out, one is left looking for somewhere else to live at short notice. Of course, there are good situations, but I would say they are in the minority. Sometimes, people have parts of their personalities that do not surface right away, and are able to put on their best behaviour, until things go belly-up. A friend owns a Boarding House, and is continuously having to evict tenants for none payment. People who cannot afford a place of their own are often not the most responsible.
@@sjordan7085 ....your roommate experiences have been the complete opposite of mine. I've had 13 roommates through the years and all have been financially responsible and respectful. No one used my personal things or brought strangers over without running it by me. `I've had mostly female roommates and a few male. But everyone was mature and considerate.
Going through this with my mother in law - not understanding she requires assistance and doesn’t want anyone in her house because she’s afraid everyone is out to steal from her.
You have my sympathy. That is a hard one.
You just made me think of the movie "Driving Miss Daisy". Yeah, it's a very similar concept.
My sentiments exactly throwing good after bad!
Everyone google December 2023 Senator Rand Paul released an eye-opening report on the government wasted billions on nefarious madness. Truth be told we deserve to live our best quality of life right now in real-time.
The Victim mentality is strong in all generations. I personally feel there is an answer to housing in the way they rent College Apartments. 4 Bedroom units, with private baths and shared living space. The key in these units is that each person has a separate lease that only ties them to their room and the cost. The issue with a roommate is often the place renting to you wants each to qualify and be responsible for the full amount or rent. Of course, they can't or they would live on their own. Additionally, a person can be burned and stuck paying all the cost if the other refuses. We are a dual income society, and trying to love on your own is a privilege not afforded to many.
@@deeplansandbudgets That type of arrangement is something that is becoming more common here in QLD 🇦🇺 They’re called rooming houses and I know someone who invests in them and someone else who lives in one. New rooming house builds here I believe have to have one unit built as accessible for those with a wheelchair or limited mobility. The person I know who lives in one of these buildings is in her sixties and still working, it is owned by a not for profit company, possibly church affiliated but open to anyone who qualifies and it works well. There are house rules they have to abide by but most of that is just common courtesy. Everyone minds their business and gets along. It’s definitely something I would consider if my circumstances changed.
Yes. We really are a dual income society now and anything else is quite difficult.
I think you are right. I always thought my sisters & I would be like the golden girls & live together. Do not think that’s realistic so we trying to live in same complex so we are together yet have our own spaces