"it's not 'am i attractive?' it's 'am i attractive to the people I'm attracted to?'" i literally didn't know anyone else felt this way that's crazy, life changed
i have this exact issue i feel like i’m not the type for my type but it’s also a double whammy with being trans because a part of me feels like they would already have to compromise for me. and in my mind why would they make those compromises?
I'm like this and I've thought about it and my conclusion is that I can't do anything about it lol. I won't be with people I'm not attracted to and if that means I'll be alone then that's it. that's life
i mistook this as like, from an ace perspective, i find it gross to think of people looking at me and deciding i am sexually attractive to them, lmao. i was like, oh, the allo perspective just narrows that same discomfort to people who aren't mutually attractive to them as well! but it also makes sense that it's about appealing for mutual attraction. i can't relate but i would think it is more normal than you think!
Seems like most people insecure about their appearance, do feel this way and it's more a need to hear someone else put into words. Like, "yeah.. that's it. I don't think I'm that ugly necessarily, but ......."
I see this A LOT among the alpha/red pills/whatever. They describe girls in terms so specific, complaining about GIRLS not wanting them, only wanting huge men, money, luxury gifts and restaurants. I'm like, who are these women?? lol they're basically describing IG models who travel to Dubai and Bali every other month. A lot of girls would be interested in them but those aren't the girls they want.. so let's generalize and hate women. (I know that's not OP. I'm just venting lol Sorry
@@succulentboi676 That's when you gently say, "Normal sized balls don't hurt when someone sits like this. But I want you to know whatever size you are, you're beautiful in the eyes of God. You're not a freak, you're beautiful and natural, bro. Buuuut if they're swollen and they don't go down within 48 hours, also, go to a doctor." Make it as sincere and sweet and supportive-best-friend as possible and they will never mention it again.
@@morganqorishchi8181 To be fair I don't think that a dude who is making fun of someone for crossing their legs when they sit is going to be very upset by the implication that they have large balls. Seems like something they'd be proud of.
embarrassed to admit that i've been seeing chiitan ads every single day for months and never noticed that they were ads because he just fits so perfectly into my online experience
My twitter is like 6 months ahead of everyone else with ads and even some "features" and stuff and mine has now evolved from chiitan to just getting literally no ads anymore. Hope everyone else catches up soon.
Bro why does my brain keep expecting jarvis to go "im jarvis" and then jordan to go "im johnson" please 😭 this is a curse you guys have to make this happen to save me from it please i am stuck in this unholy loop
Jarvis, as a trans masc butch lesbian who thinks about gender way too much I have an explanation to offer on the "you look like a masc lesbian" comment, hopefully without making you uncomfortable. I like thinking of this thing called queer masculinity or genuine masculinity to describe how I want to present myself and what I want to see more of. it's masculine presentation that's masculine for the joy of it or for gender expression and NOT as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in. I think that you were compared to a masc lesbian because the venn diagram of butch lesbians and fashionable men overlaps in genuine masculinity and it's a beautiful thing to me! I know that this doesn't address your concern of "I don't know if I'm attractive to people who I'm attracted to" but I hope it makes you feel a bit better. emo lesbian sending much love to you
I hate that the phrase "Its not you, its me" is so used to the point of cliche but sometimes thats the factual explanation. "Why dont you want a relationship with me?" Well, I have severe depression and I dont think I could handle a relationship at the moment, literally, its not you, its me
I feel so bad for the guy asking what’s wrong with him 😭 I had the experience of guys just wanting to fool around when I was dating, and it made me feel so shit like my personality was broken or something. But I’m married now and I wanna give him a hug and tell him it gets better cause it sucks 😭
"I'm Wiccan" I just imagine Jordan's incredibly deadpan sense of humor and him making jokes during a ritual while everyone else is trying so, so hard to keep a straight face.
I 100% feel the body dysmorphia stuff. I'm a recently out trans woman and I've always had this weird complex about my hip shape. They never looked very manly or quite feminine either and it made pants fit on me really awkwardly so I always wore them low waisted. I live in a very diverse city so sometimes I'll just go on a walk and look at people passing by and it reassures me that actually my body is pretty normal and people just look different and that's pretty cool.
The discussion about body perception, especially if you dont know anyone else who looks like you, was so touching. I relate to that a lot, its really nice feeling seen :)
One of the worst things about The Swan was they didn't allow the contestants to see themselves during their healing processes. They went to great lengths to make sure the first time the women saw themselves-- after having those major surgeries over their entire bodies at once-- was in full makeup, hair, and wardrobe on set in front of the cameras with the whole team of people who worked on their look watching and clapping. They would be lead over to a covered mirror, and when they said they were ready, that was the first time they were allowed to fully see themselves. At least one contestant broke down screaming she wanted her face back. They put these women through highly restrictive diet plans and constant exercise programs, in addition to impossibly short recovery periods from 10s of simultaneous surgeries. Manufacturing sudden adjustment to those major changes to the self on top what must have felt like two months of torture (and might honestly have been) during the post-surgery depression well known to occur in many?? Then, framing it as a beauty pageant and subjecting them all to judgement against everyone else remodeled on the show?? Deranged production. Depraved. Truly the bleakest age.
Jordan is so onto something about having the answers. Cause like if you were breaking up with someone because theyre a shitty person youre probably gonna lie about that to not set them off!
1:13:17 him saying it's really happened. As if we wouldn't believe that. The number of lesbians that have the Jarvis fashion sense I've seen is un countable. That being said, it's just comfortable high-quality clothes that look nice. So it's definitely a compliment like he looks down to earth but still puts in a good amount of effort into his appearance.
I am just here in the comments to say that Jarvis and Jordan are like, right up at the top of my parasocial crushes next to Dev Patel. But I get how hard it is to not obsess over flaws and feel bad or compare yourself all the time.
is there any chance you guys could get someone to do captions for these videos? i have auditory processing issues and it would help me a lot, the auto generated ones are atrocious
my fiance left me recently and said that they “needed more” from a relationship. i felt like i gave them my everything and i’ve been trying to figure out what i wasn’t doing. maybe we just weren’t right for each other
As someone who used to think she'd never date a boy if she wasn't skinny...to me now i feel, "why would I even WANT to date someone who isn't attracted to me?" I'm not broken and I dont need fixing ☯️:)
All of that is true, but also I got broken up with 4 times in a year with variations on "I'm just not into you anymore" and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and so I haven't really dated since 2014, lol. ETA: to be clear, I didn't ASK WHY they were breaking up with me. They just offered the information in their exit interview.
the discussion about exes not being attracted to you and how to handle all that stuff on both sides will have a lasting impact on me. I've struggled a bit with it in the past but your guys' opinions are so good to hear
chiitan is actually not even an official mascot of japan, because of all the wild shit he does the city he claims to be a mascot for has made statements condemning and distancing themselves from chiitan 😭 i love u chiitan
I would like to let Jarvis and Jordan know that I deeply appreciate the segment discussing relationships and breakups. Having recently been removed from my first real “long-term” relationship, much of what you said was difficult to hear as it was exactly what I *needed* to hear. Having no one to talk to about this has lead me to all the wrong conclusions about myself and why it didn’t work out, but you two set me straight with your advice. Even though I didn’t like hearing that I had been fundamentally wrong, I believe it was necessary in order to heal correctly. Thank you, sad boys ❤
I've been a listener for kind of a long time now to both Sad Boyz and Sad Boyz Nights and I never really pop into the comments but I just wanted to say I was so excited when I saw there was a new episode just now because I listen while I'm working as an independent artist. I have a long shift for myself tonight because I need to finish up some designs I'm making for an event I'm tabling at and listening to this podcast provides me w/ a lot of comfort and is so very entertaining. I think your content comes across very kind and your thoughts are presented w/ care in a way I can't seem to find in most content creators. As a trans and autistic artist thank you for always putting you best foot forward to be empathetic and considerate w/ everything you make! Making content that's comfortable for people like myself to watch is genuinely meaningful. It makes my time working so much more enjoyable then going without
Man you guys really hit the mark with this one...I've personally been experiencing discomfort and insecurity with my appearance because of my alopecia and your episode gave me some more hope! Thanks
Jordan made me laugh harder than i ever have at a spam DM while just listening to Jarvis just plainly read one aloud. every opinion he has is absolutely illuminated
A phrase that really helped me is "you aren't 'ugly', you're just not your own type." Everyone finds different things attractive since it's subjective so just cus you don't feel like you are doesn't mean you aren't. After all everyone has their own opinions.
I dislike audio messages. It wasn't until very recently that I got a transcript feature on them, as it wasn't a huge thing with Android users in the USA. People also send them on other apps that don't have transcripts and that sucks a lot. Speech to text is a good middle ground!
As a late-diagnosed autistic, one thing the TikTok guy might want to look into is whether an autism diagnosis fits. Only because it can be a thing that turns some people off that they cannot put their finger on or explain, and it is especially mystifying when you yourself are unaware of it. Not to mention that being autistic and not knowing it means you aren't accommodating your needs (because you don't know they exist), and can lead to burnout from constant masking. I say this knowing nothing about him, but at the same time knowing how many autistic people went unrecognized as children, and grew into adults who spend much of their lives wondering what is 'wrong' with them.
THIS, was thinking the EXACT same when i first watched his video, my ND radar went off. And his stories sounded so relatable to me as well. I also had so many instances where at at the start people seem to be interested, they flirt, show interest, all while not knowing that the person they are actually interested in is the person WITH the mask. Us cosplaying as neurotypicals essentially. and then over time they see the person without the mask, someone different, which is why it isnt something that was seen at the start. it isnt something physical, otherwise they wouldnt have dated the person in the first place.
YES THE FRIENDS LIST i made one months ago and the amount of times i reference it makes up for whenever i feel a bit strange about having it in the first place lol
I get so obsessed by my physical appearance that sometimes I flex and feel for muscles on myself just to make sure I still have some. I remember one time I was flexing in class when we were practicing checking blood pressures. Granted I didn’t even realize I was flexing because I’m so used to doing it as a guard to make myself look better than I do. A girl said “stop flexing you’re not that buff” and that sent me on a spiral. Body dysmorphia is really crazy and I feel like if I’m not buff or shredded, girls wont want to date me. Tl;dr - Have body image issues and got my feelings hurt lol
As someone who is queer and trans and poly as fuck it is really interesting listening to (atleast with Jarvis and Jorden) cishet monogamous ppl deconstruct their dating wants / needs. Definitely puts into perspective how unique the human experience of attraction is, and the different ways to love. :) Also wanna quickly say that being compared to a masc butch lesbian by someone in the queer community, it is indeed a compliment. it stems specifically from the feeling that butch masculinity has a lot of the positive traits of masculinity (feeling strong, being a protector, being a sturdy Individual for ppl to rely on, being comforting, being confident) without some of the upsetting traits of *toxic* masculinity. (I want to stress toxic, because there are indeed many forms of masculinity and most are fucking rad as hell) Basically, tldr; a quick way to say that you have the confidence of a cool person, and give off very comforting, safe vibes :)
im not even on twitter (i refuse to call it x bc in the wise words of my friend, "if he can deadname his daughter i can deadname his app") but my sister sends me chiitan all the time and i love it. i do appreciate ads that like you guys said, are just about the vibes. i'd much rather have chiitan than ads for a scam or something
Japan has alot of mascots for just about everything. including their various small towns. Chiitan is the unofficial mascot for an otter (also named chiitan) who lives in susaki zoo. The mascot for susaki, shinjo-kun, is also an otter who wears a bowl of ramen noodles on his head. The two used to be friends until susaki disowned chiitan for his various antics. Chiitan is not promoting anything at this point apart from himself. he is a lone mascot, just being crazy for the sake of being crazy. Not officially endorsed by Japan.
Here’s just a thing that I’m insecure about, coming from the dating segment thing, my insecurity is that I’m 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship so idk if I’m attractive to where I really pick apart my appearance, personality, humor, etc. And I’ve came to this weird conclusion that I’m average in appearance, not in the way where I look like everyone/everyone looks like me, I’m the type of average where I’m not like GORGEOUS but I’m not ugly, both are things people will speak out about “she’s pretty/shes ugly” I’m just so in the middle where nobody even cares to discuss. I’m not expecting people to tell me I’m average but I don’t get many compliments but I don’t get many insults as well, people just don’t care or just uninterested in the sense that I’m not getting any type of clarification that I’m attractive, or funny, or cool, or boring, or a n y t h i n g. Idk that’s my little dump I can go on forever but this is just a UA-cam comment section lol. Idk if anybody relates to me but that’s my little discussion.
gotta say i respect the exes say im ugly guy, that's a tough thing to be so open about and post about in that way in that place knowing fully how evil the internet can be.
hooray! another episode of my favorite podcast “sad boyz” has been released! i sure hope they did not make any stylistic changes to their brand, such as altering the logo! EDIT: SHIT FUCK NO DAMMIT GAAAAGH WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME FUCK JESUS UGH WHAT THE HELL IM GONNA KMS
1:32:17 This is accidentally really funny if you remember people losing their minds at PBS showing a lesbian couple and their children on this exact show.
Chii tan has been around for YEARS - he even appeared on John Oliver!! I recommend watching his segment about chii-tan, it explains a lot about the captions etc. love that guy
This sucks but my ex isolated me from every friend I had so I didn’t have anyone to talk to about our issues. In the beginning of the relationship I’d go to them and talk about our issues and they’d say we didn’t sound compatible, I’d go home and talk to my SO and she would convince me they’re not being honest or otherwise that they didn’t care about me as much as she did and that I shouldn’t be friends with them. Once things got really bad and she cheated, I took her back because I believed her lies that it didn’t mean anything. Then she did it again and moved across the country to be with him. Really wish I had had someone I could trust to talk to about it.
I find the talk about ads on twitter funny because I’m currently working on my Capstone for my Organizational Management BAS and every source says “Do NOT advertise on X, advertisement revenue has gone down significantly since Elon’s acquisition” and here Elon is going “yeah uh business is booming” lol
Hey boyz, I am later than most on commenting on this but this was a really healing pod for a guy who's had a ton of trouble over the years (and still do, actually) dating. It's entirely frustrating to exist in a world that feels so "surfacey". Being impossibly good looking is really the only way to attract people on dating apps. And truthfully, it has become exponentially difficult to meet someone outside of those apps. It's hard to be single in this economy of dating. I really want people to talk about that more (without it becoming a game of "how can I be better?"). I think, for the longest time, I thought I had to be "good enough" for a relationship. I had to change my weight, how I talked, what fucking media I consumed. I think that's a load of bullshit. There is no such thing as "good enough" for anything. Dating isn't a fucking meritocracy (even if people treat it that way). There's no level playing field. What one person loves about you, another hates you for it. It's all about finding people who want to be with you... plain and simple... Just know that once you show yourself to the world, it will happen (even if it hasn't happened to me yet oops). Y'all we'll get through this! Just don't listen to the internet too much, ok?!
As an LGBT individual, masc lesbian is DEFINITELY a compliment. You're boy pretty, but you're not a girlboy like you're more of a boygirl. You're femme-masculine, if that helps. Hope this was confusing! 😘
Clothes always fit me weird. I have a long torso and short arms. My legs are also short. And I'm fat on top of that so clothes never fit like they should. It sucks.
for the masc lesbian thing, i think its definitely a compliment! usually when i think of masc lesbians i think of very intentional, purposeful masculinity that is like. uniquely expressed. idk. def a compliment tho. much love
That dude is attractive, I think he’s cute and has good style and if he’s being genuine about his characteristics then he’ll find someone who is interested
Chiitan is great!! I've been following him for so long. He's legit just this crazy otter mascot that does the most random things. For a while he'd spin around a bat and get super dizzy and try to do some act while dizzy. He's anti advertising and is basically trying to replace the ads on Twitter !!
1:09:35 I'm curious what this community thinks about this. A lot of the "meet people like you" activities are things I as an introvert wouldn't go to. I meet "too extroverted" people. Help 😂
To add a perspective from someone old enough to have been with a partner since before apps were really a thing, it makes sense that physical attractiveness/clicking like that would be the issue people have now. Because in the past you felt people out in person for vibes and THEN got to know them. With apps and online everything taking precedence, you're meeting people based on interests and then eventually getting together to check vibes. And it makes sense you would push things farther if you like the person otherwise to make sure. Also in general people are far too expectant that their ideal partner will eventually come along and be perfect. Compatible is important, but anyone who is like "you're the perfect package except for some physical detail" is going to be alone forever. Cause guess what? People age and change and there's no guarantee that people will be what they were when you met physically. But there is a huge industry out there selling the concept of perfection either how to get it or how to be it.
I stopped using apps for this reason. Maybe it’s because I’m grey-ace or maybe it’s my personality but I just couldn’t handle accessing people on looks before anything else. I care strongly about having good conversations with people and being mentally/intellectually stimulated. OkCupid was a lot better for engaging in some conversation before meeting in person which is more ideal. It’s now too much like Tinder and many of my most recent experiences left me feeling like people were being way too pushy or clingy. I realized I couldn’t have intro conversations anymore without wanting to externalize all the negativity I felt and I couldn’t find any middle ground in how I used the apps so I just stopped altogether.
"it's not 'am i attractive?' it's 'am i attractive to the people I'm attracted to?'"
i literally didn't know anyone else felt this way that's crazy, life changed
i have this exact issue i feel like i’m not the type for my type but it’s also a double whammy with being trans because a part of me feels like they would already have to compromise for me. and in my mind why would they make those compromises?
I'm like this and I've thought about it and my conclusion is that I can't do anything about it lol. I won't be with people I'm not attracted to and if that means I'll be alone then that's it. that's life
i mistook this as like, from an ace perspective, i find it gross to think of people looking at me and deciding i am sexually attractive to them, lmao. i was like, oh, the allo perspective just narrows that same discomfort to people who aren't mutually attractive to them as well!
but it also makes sense that it's about appealing for mutual attraction. i can't relate but i would think it is more normal than you think!
Seems like most people insecure about their appearance, do feel this way and it's more a need to hear someone else put into words. Like, "yeah.. that's it. I don't think I'm that ugly necessarily, but ......."
I see this A LOT among the alpha/red pills/whatever. They describe girls in terms so specific, complaining about GIRLS not wanting them, only wanting huge men, money, luxury gifts and restaurants. I'm like, who are these women?? lol they're basically describing IG models who travel to Dubai and Bali every other month. A lot of girls would be interested in them but those aren't the girls they want.. so let's generalize and hate women. (I know that's not OP. I'm just venting lol Sorry
"this is a community that says when either of us sits bisexually" while they're both sitting in the most bisexual way ever
My coworkers made fun of me for crossing my legs when I sit and asked me if my balls hurt (I am a cis man 😔). I have bisexual sitting
@@succulentboi676 That's when you gently say, "Normal sized balls don't hurt when someone sits like this. But I want you to know whatever size you are, you're beautiful in the eyes of God. You're not a freak, you're beautiful and natural, bro. Buuuut if they're swollen and they don't go down within 48 hours, also, go to a doctor." Make it as sincere and sweet and supportive-best-friend as possible and they will never mention it again.
@@morganqorishchi8181 To be fair I don't think that a dude who is making fun of someone for crossing their legs when they sit is going to be very upset by the implication that they have large balls. Seems like something they'd be proud of.
@jeb4513 unfortunately probably true, however that's why you gotta make it as sincere and awkward as possible. The award part is important.
@@casteanpreswyn7528 lol I like the way you think. I’m big on out-awkwarding someone intentionally in moments like this 😂
As a cis guy, masc lesbians are the peak of my fashion aspirations
Same. Masc lesbians have drip and it looks effortless.
embarrassed to admit that i've been seeing chiitan ads every single day for months and never noticed that they were ads because he just fits so perfectly into my online experience
Real ones know about chiitan BEFORE the twitter ads 😤
My twitter is like 6 months ahead of everyone else with ads and even some "features" and stuff and mine has now evolved from chiitan to just getting literally no ads anymore. Hope everyone else catches up soon.
@@kirrb-dot-exe FACTS
The phrase “relationships are not a court of law” genuinely changed my entire perspective.
Damn...
Bro why does my brain keep expecting jarvis to go "im jarvis" and then jordan to go "im johnson" please 😭 this is a curse you guys have to make this happen to save me from it please i am stuck in this unholy loop
Idky i’m not relieved that it’s not just me. Instead i feel more justified in wanting it to happen
every time 😭
I really thought this was just me 🥴
I feel like they've done everything but that and I think they're doing it just to make special little ol me mad
ME TOOO
JORDANS HAIR LOOKS SO GOOD
I'm not the only young person going grey yay and I'm only 25
salt and pepper zaddy- _sorry_
the salt and pepper is so nice :’)
Very 70's fro
@@BigGomer u not alone. I've had a single grey since high school, it got some friends in my late 20s
Jarvis, as a trans masc butch lesbian who thinks about gender way too much I have an explanation to offer on the "you look like a masc lesbian" comment, hopefully without making you uncomfortable.
I like thinking of this thing called queer masculinity or genuine masculinity to describe how I want to present myself and what I want to see more of. it's masculine presentation that's masculine for the joy of it or for gender expression and NOT as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in.
I think that you were compared to a masc lesbian because the venn diagram of butch lesbians and fashionable men overlaps in genuine masculinity and it's a beautiful thing to me!
I know that this doesn't address your concern of "I don't know if I'm attractive to people who I'm attracted to" but I hope it makes you feel a bit better. emo lesbian sending much love to you
"for the joy of it or gender expression and not as a shield to hide insecurity or fit in" is such a GREAT way to word that omg
Loving Anastasia taking on a more active talent role, the vibes are immaculate and i think we all love hearing additional perspectives
Absolutely.
I hate that the phrase "Its not you, its me" is so used to the point of cliche but sometimes thats the factual explanation. "Why dont you want a relationship with me?" Well, I have severe depression and I dont think I could handle a relationship at the moment, literally, its not you, its me
I feel so bad for the guy asking what’s wrong with him 😭 I had the experience of guys just wanting to fool around when I was dating, and it made me feel so shit like my personality was broken or something. But I’m married now and I wanna give him a hug and tell him it gets better cause it sucks 😭
"I'm Wiccan" I just imagine Jordan's incredibly deadpan sense of humor and him making jokes during a ritual while everyone else is trying so, so hard to keep a straight face.
"Gonna blaze up this sage real quick"
*everyone else trying not to die of laughter*
Between the seemingly endless accents and the plain timber of his gorgeous voice, I humbly request Jordan narrate every audiobook from henceforth.
You’re a day early for pride month logo changes
It's never too early. Lol
I 100% feel the body dysmorphia stuff. I'm a recently out trans woman and I've always had this weird complex about my hip shape. They never looked very manly or quite feminine either and it made pants fit on me really awkwardly so I always wore them low waisted. I live in a very diverse city so sometimes I'll just go on a walk and look at people passing by and it reassures me that actually my body is pretty normal and people just look different and that's pretty cool.
The discussion about body perception, especially if you dont know anyone else who looks like you, was so touching. I relate to that a lot, its really nice feeling seen :)
As a gold toothed ex skate rat who hit his head one too many times I have been given newfound confidence in my cheeky smile again thankyou! 😂
It’s sick to have dudes being non toxic about social situations
One of the worst things about The Swan was they didn't allow the contestants to see themselves during their healing processes. They went to great lengths to make sure the first time the women saw themselves-- after having those major surgeries over their entire bodies at once-- was in full makeup, hair, and wardrobe on set in front of the cameras with the whole team of people who worked on their look watching and clapping.
They would be lead over to a covered mirror, and when they said they were ready, that was the first time they were allowed to fully see themselves. At least one contestant broke down screaming she wanted her face back.
They put these women through highly restrictive diet plans and constant exercise programs, in addition to impossibly short recovery periods from 10s of simultaneous surgeries.
Manufacturing sudden adjustment to those major changes to the self on top what must have felt like two months of torture (and might honestly have been) during the post-surgery depression well known to occur in many?? Then, framing it as a beauty pageant and subjecting them all to judgement against everyone else remodeled on the show?? Deranged production. Depraved. Truly the bleakest age.
Jordan is so onto something about having the answers. Cause like if you were breaking up with someone because theyre a shitty person youre probably gonna lie about that to not set them off!
1:13:17 him saying it's really happened. As if we wouldn't believe that. The number of lesbians that have the Jarvis fashion sense I've seen is un countable. That being said, it's just comfortable high-quality clothes that look nice. So it's definitely a compliment like he looks down to earth but still puts in a good amount of effort into his appearance.
WOOOO THAT REDESIGN
I am just here in the comments to say that Jarvis and Jordan are like, right up at the top of my parasocial crushes next to Dev Patel. But I get how hard it is to not obsess over flaws and feel bad or compare yourself all the time.
Also just remarking here that Anastasia and I look remarkably similar and that is also very wonderful
No bc they’re both so fine
is there any chance you guys could get someone to do captions for these videos? i have auditory processing issues and it would help me a lot, the auto generated ones are atrocious
Not sure when they were added, but wanted to let you know they currently have English captions.
my fiance left me recently and said that they “needed more” from a relationship. i felt like i gave them my everything and i’ve been trying to figure out what i wasn’t doing. maybe we just weren’t right for each other
As someone who used to think she'd never date a boy if she wasn't skinny...to me now i feel, "why would I even WANT to date someone who isn't attracted to me?"
I'm not broken and I dont need fixing ☯️:)
All of that is true, but also I got broken up with 4 times in a year with variations on "I'm just not into you anymore" and it suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked and so I haven't really dated since 2014, lol. ETA: to be clear, I didn't ASK WHY they were breaking up with me. They just offered the information in their exit interview.
the discussion about exes not being attracted to you and how to handle all that stuff on both sides will have a lasting impact on me. I've struggled a bit with it in the past but your guys' opinions are so good to hear
chiitan is actually not even an official mascot of japan, because of all the wild shit he does the city he claims to be a mascot for has made statements condemning and distancing themselves from chiitan 😭 i love u chiitan
Anastasia trying to make a pokemon joke and it going over their heads is so funny to me
I would like to let Jarvis and Jordan know that I deeply appreciate the segment discussing relationships and breakups. Having recently been removed from my first real “long-term” relationship, much of what you said was difficult to hear as it was exactly what I *needed* to hear. Having no one to talk to about this has lead me to all the wrong conclusions about myself and why it didn’t work out, but you two set me straight with your advice. Even though I didn’t like hearing that I had been fundamentally wrong, I believe it was necessary in order to heal correctly. Thank you, sad boys ❤
Jordan is looking gorgeous the hair, beard and tattoos i am obsessed
I've been a listener for kind of a long time now to both Sad Boyz and Sad Boyz Nights and I never really pop into the comments but I just wanted to say I was so excited when I saw there was a new episode just now because I listen while I'm working as an independent artist.
I have a long shift for myself tonight because I need to finish up some designs I'm making for an event I'm tabling at and listening to this podcast provides me w/ a lot of comfort and is so very entertaining. I think your content comes across very kind and your thoughts are presented w/ care in a way I can't seem to find in most content creators. As a trans and autistic artist thank you for always putting you best foot forward to be empathetic and considerate w/ everything you make! Making content that's comfortable for people like myself to watch is genuinely meaningful. It makes my time working so much more enjoyable then going without
the friendship meta is so helpful for me
Man you guys really hit the mark with this one...I've personally been experiencing discomfort and insecurity with my appearance because of my alopecia and your episode gave me some more hope! Thanks
Jordan made me laugh harder than i ever have at a spam DM while just listening to Jarvis just plainly read one aloud. every opinion he has is absolutely illuminated
A phrase that really helped me is "you aren't 'ugly', you're just not your own type." Everyone finds different things attractive since it's subjective so just cus you don't feel like you are doesn't mean you aren't. After all everyone has their own opinions.
Thanks you for the care and thought you put into these discussions. Beautifully affirming 😊
I dislike audio messages. It wasn't until very recently that I got a transcript feature on them, as it wasn't a huge thing with Android users in the USA. People also send them on other apps that don't have transcripts and that sucks a lot. Speech to text is a good middle ground!
Thank you to all of yous for sharing and for an awesome episode
5:44 OH GOD JORDAN'S SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT LMAO
shoutout to anastasia for bringing up her struggles with eating, i could hear it in her voice and am sending her a hug
jordan's comments on the modern dating part completely blew me away and changed my perspective on dating as a whole!
Honestly honestly? This might be my new favorite episode
Change is bad actually and we fear it
As a late-diagnosed autistic, one thing the TikTok guy might want to look into is whether an autism diagnosis fits. Only because it can be a thing that turns some people off that they cannot put their finger on or explain, and it is especially mystifying when you yourself are unaware of it. Not to mention that being autistic and not knowing it means you aren't accommodating your needs (because you don't know they exist), and can lead to burnout from constant masking.
I say this knowing nothing about him, but at the same time knowing how many autistic people went unrecognized as children, and grew into adults who spend much of their lives wondering what is 'wrong' with them.
THIS, was thinking the EXACT same when i first watched his video, my ND radar went off. And his stories sounded so relatable to me as well. I also had so many instances where at at the start people seem to be interested, they flirt, show interest, all while not knowing that the person they are actually interested in is the person WITH the mask. Us cosplaying as neurotypicals essentially. and then over time they see the person without the mask, someone different, which is why it isnt something that was seen at the start. it isnt something physical, otherwise they wouldnt have dated the person in the first place.
YES THE FRIENDS LIST i made one months ago and the amount of times i reference it makes up for whenever i feel a bit strange about having it in the first place lol
stoked about the new bespoke branding!!
You guys were super funny on the try guys stream, thanks for doing charity work for pali!
I get so obsessed by my physical appearance that sometimes I flex and feel for muscles on myself just to make sure I still have some. I remember one time I was flexing in class when we were practicing checking blood pressures. Granted I didn’t even realize I was flexing because I’m so used to doing it as a guard to make myself look better than I do. A girl said “stop flexing you’re not that buff” and that sent me on a spiral. Body dysmorphia is really crazy and I feel like if I’m not buff or shredded, girls wont want to date me.
Tl;dr - Have body image issues and got my feelings hurt lol
hell yes anastasia…. i’ve had such a huge crush on damon albarn too since i was a teen and his messed up toothy smile definitely plays into that lol
I liked that they mentioned target, I'm in the parking lot of target! I was listening to this while shopping 😊
Jarvis saying people say he looks like a masc lesbian made me crack the fuck up in the gym that is not true but so fucking funny omg
Just spotted y’all on Um, Actually! That’s so dope!!
Jordan’s South African accent sounds like he knows a couple brothers who have read The Power of One and think it’s not a walk in the park
NEW LOGO LOOKS SO GOOD!!!
1:31:56 i nearly SCREAMED postcards from Buster was my jam as a four year old. 1:32:00
As someone who is queer and trans and poly as fuck it is really interesting listening to (atleast with Jarvis and Jorden) cishet monogamous ppl deconstruct their dating wants / needs. Definitely puts into perspective how unique the human experience of attraction is, and the different ways to love. :)
Also wanna quickly say that being compared to a masc butch lesbian by someone in the queer community, it is indeed a compliment. it stems specifically from the feeling that butch masculinity has a lot of the positive traits of masculinity (feeling strong, being a protector, being a sturdy Individual for ppl to rely on, being comforting, being confident) without some of the upsetting traits of *toxic* masculinity. (I want to stress toxic, because there are indeed many forms of masculinity and most are fucking rad as hell)
Basically, tldr; a quick way to say that you have the confidence of a cool person, and give off very comforting, safe vibes :)
im not even on twitter (i refuse to call it x bc in the wise words of my friend, "if he can deadname his daughter i can deadname his app") but my sister sends me chiitan all the time and i love it. i do appreciate ads that like you guys said, are just about the vibes. i'd much rather have chiitan than ads for a scam or something
Not me, a masc lesbian, wearing the exact same outfit
I love the new logo and banner, but I’m ngl, my hungry ass definitely thought that the banner was a raw steak at first glance
jordan's south african accent always catches me so off gaurd, it's accurate lol
Japan has alot of mascots for just about everything. including their various small towns. Chiitan is the unofficial mascot for an otter (also named chiitan) who lives in susaki zoo. The mascot for susaki, shinjo-kun, is also an otter who wears a bowl of ramen noodles on his head. The two used to be friends until susaki disowned chiitan for his various antics. Chiitan is not promoting anything at this point apart from himself. he is a lone mascot, just being crazy for the sake of being crazy. Not officially endorsed by Japan.
Here’s just a thing that I’m insecure about, coming from the dating segment thing, my insecurity is that I’m 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship so idk if I’m attractive to where I really pick apart my appearance, personality, humor, etc. And I’ve came to this weird conclusion that I’m average in appearance, not in the way where I look like everyone/everyone looks like me, I’m the type of average where I’m not like GORGEOUS but I’m not ugly, both are things people will speak out about “she’s pretty/shes ugly” I’m just so in the middle where nobody even cares to discuss. I’m not expecting people to tell me I’m average but I don’t get many compliments but I don’t get many insults as well, people just don’t care or just uninterested in the sense that I’m not getting any type of clarification that I’m attractive, or funny, or cool, or boring, or a n y t h i n g. Idk that’s my little dump I can go on forever but this is just a UA-cam comment section lol. Idk if anybody relates to me but that’s my little discussion.
Still love how they refuse to adress that Ludwig frogan drama . Still cant believe they platformed that psycho
new ep right when i needed it 🥳 thanks boyz
gotta say i respect the exes say im ugly guy, that's a tough thing to be so open about and post about in that way in that place knowing fully how evil the internet can be.
I skipped my therapy appointment this week but this episode helped so much ty, I’ll schedule my one for next week right now.
Whoa they changed the pfp what??! 😧😦
cool new logo, retro vibes :D
Jordan's South African accent is so close and yet so far, sounds like an Afrikaans boet that moved to Scotland T_T
I think he sounded like a Joburg boetie whose parents took in to Australia when he was 15, then he returned at 21, then left for Canada at 25.
The logo change is fucking with me, it looks good, but my brain does not recognize it as sadboyz.
loving the new typeface in ur logo
I wonder if Anastasia knows the story of Damon Albarn accidentally swallowing his gold tooth and having to dig it out of his poop 🤢😂
Jordan’s got the sickest facial hair I’ve ever seen🗣️🙏🙌
Being told that you’re a masc lesbian is the pinnacle of women hot
As long as you keep the outro song, boyz!
I love episodes like this as an aroace person, its like tourism
This episode honestly made me feel more validated as an aroace person lol.
hooray! another episode of my favorite podcast “sad boyz” has been released! i sure hope they did not make any stylistic changes to their brand, such as altering the logo!
EDIT: SHIT FUCK NO DAMMIT GAAAAGH WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME FUCK JESUS UGH WHAT THE HELL IM GONNA KMS
I'm a sad boy now that the logo is no longer Word Art, but glad it was explained.
Makes tons of sense, but F's for the fallen Sad Boyz Word Art.
1:32:17 This is accidentally really funny if you remember people losing their minds at PBS showing a lesbian couple and their children on this exact show.
Chii tan has been around for YEARS - he even appeared on John Oliver!! I recommend watching his segment about chii-tan, it explains a lot about the captions etc. love that guy
This sucks but my ex isolated me from every friend I had so I didn’t have anyone to talk to about our issues. In the beginning of the relationship I’d go to them and talk about our issues and they’d say we didn’t sound compatible, I’d go home and talk to my SO and she would convince me they’re not being honest or otherwise that they didn’t care about me as much as she did and that I shouldn’t be friends with them. Once things got really bad and she cheated, I took her back because I believed her lies that it didn’t mean anything. Then she did it again and moved across the country to be with him. Really wish I had had someone I could trust to talk to about it.
On a very positive note, chiitan has stated multiple times that they are a trans ally and support transgender rights and donated to BLM
I find the talk about ads on twitter funny because I’m currently working on my Capstone for my Organizational Management BAS and every source says “Do NOT advertise on X, advertisement revenue has gone down significantly since Elon’s acquisition” and here Elon is going “yeah uh business is booming” lol
Very excited for the new branding!! Loved this episode's discussions I'd love more stuff like this
56:19 he doesn’t look that bad that he’d be single… sounds like he’s a little more analytical and maybe comes off a little boring in the relationship.
Hey boyz, I am later than most on commenting on this but this was a really healing pod for a guy who's had a ton of trouble over the years (and still do, actually) dating. It's entirely frustrating to exist in a world that feels so "surfacey". Being impossibly good looking is really the only way to attract people on dating apps. And truthfully, it has become exponentially difficult to meet someone outside of those apps. It's hard to be single in this economy of dating. I really want people to talk about that more (without it becoming a game of "how can I be better?").
I think, for the longest time, I thought I had to be "good enough" for a relationship. I had to change my weight, how I talked, what fucking media I consumed. I think that's a load of bullshit. There is no such thing as "good enough" for anything. Dating isn't a fucking meritocracy (even if people treat it that way). There's no level playing field. What one person loves about you, another hates you for it. It's all about finding people who want to be with you... plain and simple...
Just know that once you show yourself to the world, it will happen (even if it hasn't happened to me yet oops). Y'all we'll get through this! Just don't listen to the internet too much, ok?!
As a fellow cishet man who’s been told he dresses like a lesbian (the exact word used was “cosplaying”) I empathize with Jarvis
I love that the lighting on his hair makes Jordan look vaguely like Frederick Douglass
As an LGBT individual, masc lesbian is DEFINITELY a compliment. You're boy pretty, but you're not a girlboy like you're more of a boygirl. You're femme-masculine, if that helps. Hope this was confusing! 😘
Clothes always fit me weird. I have a long torso and short arms. My legs are also short. And I'm fat on top of that so clothes never fit like they should. It sucks.
for the masc lesbian thing, i think its definitely a compliment! usually when i think of masc lesbians i think of very intentional, purposeful masculinity that is like. uniquely expressed. idk. def a compliment tho. much love
My partner looked at the tv and asked me if you guys were clones 😭😭😭
That dude is attractive, I think he’s cute and has good style and if he’s being genuine about his characteristics then he’ll find someone who is interested
Chiitan is great!! I've been following him for so long. He's legit just this crazy otter mascot that does the most random things. For a while he'd spin around a bat and get super dizzy and try to do some act while dizzy. He's anti advertising and is basically trying to replace the ads on Twitter !!
Basically he's not selling anything at all. Just pushing his own crazy antics forward instead of actual advertisements.
That's actually a really good elon impression! Lol, love this podcast, never know what I'm gonna get 🤣
It’s crazy this is only the 126th episode I could’ve sworn y’all were waaaay over that by now
1:09:35 I'm curious what this community thinks about this. A lot of the "meet people like you" activities are things I as an introvert wouldn't go to. I meet "too extroverted" people. Help 😂
To add a perspective from someone old enough to have been with a partner since before apps were really a thing, it makes sense that physical attractiveness/clicking like that would be the issue people have now. Because in the past you felt people out in person for vibes and THEN got to know them. With apps and online everything taking precedence, you're meeting people based on interests and then eventually getting together to check vibes. And it makes sense you would push things farther if you like the person otherwise to make sure. Also in general people are far too expectant that their ideal partner will eventually come along and be perfect. Compatible is important, but anyone who is like "you're the perfect package except for some physical detail" is going to be alone forever. Cause guess what? People age and change and there's no guarantee that people will be what they were when you met physically. But there is a huge industry out there selling the concept of perfection either how to get it or how to be it.
I stopped using apps for this reason. Maybe it’s because I’m grey-ace or maybe it’s my personality but I just couldn’t handle accessing people on looks before anything else. I care strongly about having good conversations with people and being mentally/intellectually stimulated. OkCupid was a lot better for engaging in some conversation before meeting in person which is more ideal. It’s now too much like Tinder and many of my most recent experiences left me feeling like people were being way too pushy or clingy. I realized I couldn’t have intro conversations anymore without wanting to externalize all the negativity I felt and I couldn’t find any middle ground in how I used the apps so I just stopped altogether.