After 8 years of relationship Not even a chocolate that you can buy at the corner shop, Not even a nice letter on your birthday NOTHING ! An apology? NEVER ! Always me fixing the relation between us ! That is what you need to remember and Much More ! Then you WILL have your answer. NAMASTE ANDREW !!!! Thank you for sharing your Wisdom ! Power & Peace to everyone!
100% correct. Been in all those places, hopeless dark pits with nothing left to give. Andrew, since I've been listening to your videos, the most profound things have been unfolding for me. This morning I had another lightbulb moment. Yes it's true that unless someone has experienced this personally and gone through it themselves, they can't begin to understand or empathize with us. But the paradigm shift of it is that we who have been through it have an understanding and empathy that others can never experience like we do. When I saw it from the other side, it's beautiful. It's like a gift, a costly gift. Thank you for all you do for all of us.
Yesssss!!! Donna I absolutely relate!! This was my lightbulb day!!! Beautiful warm shift in my life!! I am so grateful I’ve been journaling my days since I left!! I no longer worry about them or why did they do (fill in the blank) today was more about ME, my Growth and how it’s going to be helpful for someone else!! Let’s keep passing on our strength!!!
That's a lovely thought Donna about how all these tough experiences increase our empathy and understanding to an unusual level. I also think everyday life is all the sweeter because someone tried to ruin it for us but they didn't succeed. ❤️
Yes this is all 100% true. My discard was extremely traumatic..lost my coward narcissist partner, my job, my friends, my home, finances were a wreck..but if you're in that dark place please believe me when i say it really DOES get better, it takes time but it will get easier. Sometimes..i still have bad days and flashbacks but a LOT less than in the beginning. You will be ok and you'll get there ❤
Your message has given me hope this morning. I've just recently split up. It was traumatic like you and still is, as I'm trying to come to terms with everything....over three decades.....I've lost everything too, divided family, no job and soon to lose my home....no financial security either - I'm so glad to hear that your life got better....I know it's going to take time.......yes it is a dark place to be in. I'm bagging things for charity and binning the other stuff. When I eventually leave.....I'll be going with s suitcase and a few photos......I'm 56 and it scares me.....I have nowhere to go? Thank God for this channel and you all here on the healing path.....I'm so grateful to be able to link in with you all, only other people who have been through this experience, fully understand it......take care of yourself and thank you for your message. 💯🙏💛
thank you, dear Andrew ! this bad narcissist wants to take everything I own & puts me down & abuse me verbally & emotionally & physically ! I didn't know that, they are known by the world as thieves & bandits & criminals & narcissists ! but now, God opened my eyes ! thanks for explaining so good & helping us a lot ! now I have the light of God, I understand it & I protect myself !
My ex raped me and abused emotionally for 15 years out of 20 years together. I left with my son. I blocked his number and started new life. He came back, played a victim. Court made me to go back in contact with him and allowed my son to live with him. I now have to beg him 10 to 15 times to have 20 minutes conversations with my son. He used a clause in the court order to prevent me from seeing my son. He won’t answer emails. He isolated my son from all his friends and my side of family. They are evil and stop at nothing to hurt. They hurt because they cannot forgive themselves for awful things they have done in life. So thank you for your words. I know I’m strong and I know I will survive each of those days that challenge me to the core.
Even when we left, our humanity was actually discarded through the crazy making devaluation. I left and it's still a dark place to realize everything was a lie and a manipulation. Also my career, finances, friendships are a wreck. Most people don't want to listen and will never understand.
@@eloisem3214 Yes! Exactly right. I do realize you guys all get it. But I can't help it, sometimes it still blows my mind that there are all these people out there that get it.
Oh yeah! I’m there right now. Discarded, kicked out with nothing but some clothes, some personal belongings and a car. No contact for 3 weeks, digging deep, plugging into videos, and connecting with new friends. Reading books, journaling, and working on rebuilding.
I became Mrs. Cleaver off the black and white tv show the mother ,house wife, entertaining company , clean ,clean ,clean now I'm taking time for myself work on me. I tried to get help from friends didn't work .
When you're lost and wondering where to go... Just TRUST it doesn't really matter ; as long as it's in the COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION from the NARC !!! START to COMPLETELY block and blackout the NARC as well !!! ABSOLUTELY " NO GOOD " can come from remaining in contact, unless you have kids, then you must be COMPLETELY GREY ROCK !!!
So accurate! It's being attacked spiritually, emotionally, mentally, a narcissist wants to snuff out all hope, all dreams and all the shine or sparkle. They are energy vampires that seek to destroy and discard. It's so hard. Thank you! We are meant to shine and be happy and they are so dark.
Kat Kathleen, we don't talk much about the "darkness" but that seems to become more prevalent as they age. You can see it in their eyes, and that is a very scary thing. Be well. 🥰💕🙏
Kat I agree they are energy vampires. They can't stand to see anyone happy when they are so miserable. Keep moving forward. They will always try to blow out our lights but we will never let them again 💛
The light inside us, God given, is brighter than the darkness in them. It is so hard but we are made of stronger stuff. We need to dig deep for the courage within us, it's still there. Sometimes we might not think it is? We are meant to shine and be happy, to live our best life in harmony and peace. They on the other hand don't want to. Unfortunately, we had to learn that the hard way by staying with them. We know now our love cannot change them because they don't want to and are not capable of showing genuine love. Keep HOPE alive in your heart, never lose sight of the end goal, to live a contented life. God bless you, 💯🙏💪💛🌻
@@eloisem3214 I agree 💯 The older they get the worse it is. I can attest to that....they say the eyes are the mirror to your soul. I've seen the darkness staring back at me many times over the years....it reflects back at you and it is scary. Be well, have a good day....God bless. 💯🙏💛💪🌻
@@christine11347 Hi Christine, good strong and determined words.....and I agree 💯. We will never allow them to dim our light. They may try and have done many times in the past but they won't succeed. 🕯️ Have a great day....God bless 💯🕯️🙏💛💪😊
ohmygoodness ... when you said, "I can barely turn on a light-switch ..." YES, yes, yes. That is EXACTLY how incapable and unable I felt about myself. I started to become agoraphobic! It was my two little dogs that saved me ... I had to take care of them: take them outside and buy them food. Soooo, they are what I focused on for the first 3 weeks.
I would love to be able to chat with so many of our family members. But if the newbies read what we all post, that's a beautiful consolation prize❣️ The unbelievable wealth of information on this channel on narcissis. And above all is: There's more than one way you can talk with Andrew. 🤨🤔🤭 🌹❣️🌹
i remember when I wrote in my journal, "I just woke up". I began highlighting things he said, and suddenly realized the headaches, the sleepless nights, leg twitches, mannerisms, crying jags, were all directly after the episodes of criticism I struggled to understand and stored in my body. A life of migraines healed in that moment.
This is so true.. I've been struggling with a narc for 4 years... he finally discarded me and I can begin my healing process. I ended up with horrible anxiety/ptsd but I'm healing. And in a week I start therapy. Thank you for this video!!!!!! I am hopeful
My hardest days are when I’m tired. Hiked 8 miles yesterday & then was so sore I couldn’t sleep. Some days it’s just overwhelming not knowing how much money they’re going to take from you, where you’re going to live & being responsible for everything. But, I persevere. Thanks for the encouragement!
Can you use a bicycle cut down on the hike? Or perhaps car share cut down on costs. Regarding finance , go see bank managers have them help you with small overdraft or come up with a financial plan. They can be very helpful. Any state benefits to may be able to claim? Thinking of you 🙂
Thank you so much for your replies & suggestions! It really is helpful to know there are others that have made it through too. The hiking is self imposed, (smile). I go with a group as a way to keep in shape, get stronger & clear my mind. Some days the hikes are gruesome, other days just the right length. Right now financially I’m OK it’s just if I have to buy him out of this place & of course, he feels entitled to everything…lawyer fees, alimony etc. Once the money part is figured out & I know if I can stay it will be a great reprieve. Bless you & thanks much!
Such a wonderful message, Andrew... For anyone out there, there will probably be a rock bottom and a darkest time in your life. It was just after New year that I had hit mine and found myself lying on the sofa in my study, hugging into my late dog's ashes box with uncontrollable crying, this was actually despair and I was having real thoughts of ending it all, it was like being trapped in a dark square room with no door out and I was going round and around, then my lightbulb moment happened and it turned from frustration to anger, then in a sense feeling sorry for my wife because I then realised that she must me in a dark place to be able to bring me to the brink and feel no remorse, but it was an inner anger that gave me strength because I realised that this was exactly what she wanted from me, broken... I was completely isolated for almost a year by then, no birthday acknowledgment, no Merry Christmas, nothing, yet she made it painstakingly obvious on the gifts that she bought her work colleagues and with what they got her, I could hear her changed fake laugh around the kids in the other room while I cooked the Christmas dinner, I could go on... But it was that light bulb moment that started to bring me out of the brink of despair, and yes, as that month rolled on I knew that she could sense that I was gaining strength, maybe it's that last push for survival, I don't know, but she certainly tried to ramp up the heat on me after that time, where I realised that she was stopping at nothing... She doesn't even realise it yet, but she is the straw that broke the camel's back because I know now that I could never go back to that and I think within her head that I will, my heart absolutely bleeds for our kids right now, but in my heart I'm certain that they'll see what she has done, they know that I'll never love them any less, she hasn't been feeding them properly also and letting them sleep in to late afternoon with no dinner or lunch, feeding them starch loaded microwave meals and takeaways, I know this because they tell me, my cooking was all home made, so the thing is, she'll exhaust herself in trying to keep the mask on, even in front of her own mother... My point of this isn't revenge, it's the fact of focusing on what light will come at the end of the tunnel. Stay blessed guys and remember, it will get better.
Narcissist always think we are too weak to put them in our past and can move on without them. They really are something else...you got this. Stay strong and positive. God bless! ❤🙏👍
I've been watching narc channels for at least 5 years and although they're all informative, yours is so much more personal and homey😊 you're like a friend who understands and always knows exactly what to say. Thank you🙏
100% right. I walked on eggshells to keep him calm because he'd have rage fits and I felt something was wrong with me and why was "I" upsetting him? This all makes sense to me now. He would laugh at others post and ignore mine, and I'd ask and he'd say that he would laugh if I were funny😢. I didn't realize he was deliberately insulting me. I felt I was just a stupid, ugly failure😢. I was very uncertain of everything. Thank you Andrew
let me guess those rage fits were usually over the most stupid things imaginable right? That is what they do...they would rather scream, throw things and blame you than ever admit THEIR wrongs..because they are forever the "victim" i had to endure a rage fit over a piercing i had...a piercing. I hope you are in a much better place now and doing better, sending lots of hugs and love. you deserve so much better ❤
@@beexv8857 yes, you are right. If I asked a general question at a time he could be set off. I asked him to not forget our anniversary that was 2 days away and he said, If I mentioned our anniversary again, he'd block me from calling him and leave me
as an empath myself this is very true in what he is saying,,,once you hit the bottom and it feels like your soul has been ripped away you can get so lost that death would seem like a better place,,,,for some people they would need professional help because you are literally having a nervous breakdown...i went no contact for good and focused on myself and self healing and doing the things that i loved,,,eventually over some time you are better than ever,,,you will have bad days but stay the course....you are not alone,,,,,i am now a survivor.
Your advice is spot on. I was fine before the narcissist got into my life. I lost everything. My finances, my job, my talents. Everything. It’s been nearly 5 years since it ended. I have my dream job, I am rebuilding my finances. My artwork is taking off. The biggest improvement I have made was being able to see what is really going on when someone is being manipulative. The satisfaction of letting that person know that I’m not playing that game is so immense. It’s like a secret weapon.
I can relate everything you are saying, I was lost, confused, and filled with anxiety. I did not know who to turn to, I found out 2 months into the relationship, and did research on this behavior and sure enough, NPD is what it is. I felt hurt, confused, deceived, manipulated and hurt.....all was not real! I was determined to get out, I went no contact, blocked his number and closed my social media accounts. Now I am in therapy and it's the best thing that I have done.
I spoke to a few of my friends about it, and for a while during the 'relationship' with one of her friends who I thought was trying to help me. But now I've blocked her as well. I wish I could explain it to all of her 'friends', but they've more than likely been prepped so anything I say, I'm the bad guy. Just concentrating on me now. One day at a time. We will all get better! 🙏🏻🤗
@@christine11347 thank you for your kind words. The last few days have been difficult, feelings of anger, wanting to scream it to the world what she is. I feel powerless, weak, used and pathetic. I know walking away and blocking her was the right thing to do, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done.
I hid all of the bad during the years we were together so no one would hate him so when he discarded me they could not understand. I don’t share much now I am isolating so am thankful for the videos and community. Thank you!
That is true for us all, hiding bad traits because of such enormous love we had them, love turns on the bigger gaslight power we were inmmersed, that is the true sin of the narcicists, weaponizing our own love against us. Be well.
Same here. Except I got the joy of discarding HIM. But he launched his revised history smear campaign flying monkeys against me in swift retaliation so my joy was short lived, or, so I thought. Over time I’ve noted he actually has no friends, only supply. But I have experienced glimpses of remarkable love & support from old friends I could finally be myself with again (here & there bc my recovery can be so overwhelming to others, I limit my exposures) I focus on how much HE LOST when he lost me and imagine him trying to do all the things I did for him on his own or having to pay others to do them or the exhaustion he must feel having to manipulate others to do them. While my life is a beautiful blank page waiting for me to write my next chapter however I want with all my strength & capabilities used for MY BENEFIT!🥳
This was my experience also. Always covering for them. There does come a time however when the ex narcs have their own lightbulb moment and realize everything you did for them and that it's over. They see the grass is not greener on the other side and all supplies are not equal in quality and amount. It's at that time you need to put all your education to use and be stronger than ever because they will try and push your buttons especially if you don't accept the Hoover. What they quickly learn though is we are experts on their playbook now and they no longer have the upper hand.
Done the same over 30 years marriage. Has not told my family everything, but it was enough for them to know I am not fine and want out! Full support and all love. All the other people I don’t care about. But you have to tell those whom u love. Pray for me succeeding in divorcing him.
You are telling my story. Can't eat. Losing my house today. Baby's gone, money's gone, job gone. Friends gone. Homeless tomorrow. Thanks for your help. I'm gonna try and hold my head up.
Thank you! And you too! I agree healing will take as long as it takes, it can't be rushed...we have so much to process and work through. It's not just the emotional pain but it's all the practical stuff too! It's traumatising when the final discard comes. Have a lovely day and thank you....God bless 🙏
The cycle of violence goes on and on with different victims, love bombs, devalues, discards, usually at the end there is a new victim already in the picture. They have then also triangulated, slandered you for a long time. From loving you, by both narc, and family, they do not want to know about you. Very traumatic, but education ang, narc, makes you accept and understand. NO CONTACT, Thanks Andrew, ❤️
After 9 months of constant learning about Narcissistic abuse, I have days where time passes and I don’t think of my ex, the cruelty and bullying, being humiliated when he married the new supply and plastered his younger new toy on Facebook, daily. Even with all the books, courses and UA-cam videos, I have been alone during the darkest time in my life, constantly working on recovery. I WANTED MY LIFE BACK!! But I’m able to look back now and see how much I have progressed. I have learned how to control my thinking, I have been able to sleep sometimes, eat sometimes and even meet new people. I have a new car, new house and a new job far away from him. I’m excited to start working with new people. I can admit to myself I was brainwashed and trauma bonded by the man I believed was my soul mate. I understand triangulation was the tool he used most to control me and devalue me. It’s still a struggle to accept that I meant so little to him for over 15 years. I do clearly understand. I’ve let go, mostly. Andrew, this video has been like a big bow to tie up the package of survival tools you have provided to this community. I thank you every day, and night!!!
When we go through difficult times in life we often ask God why me? In time with patience, inner work, commitment and understanding the answer becomes clear. By sharing our own painful experiences with others that come across our paths we are able to help them move forward. Then as they begin to heal and their cup is full they can pay it forward and help others as well. As a result the beautiful cycle of love, empathy and compassion will continue to repeat itself and serve as a continued reminder that none of us are ever alone. Stay blessed community. As Andrew so beautifully said the light gets brighter each and every day as you move forward.✨ In time what seemed like a curse may feel like a blessing. I know it has for me. Trust the process and follow your path. 🙏💪🕊️💛 Andrew thank you as always for this heartfelt message of hope and inspiration. 🙏🙌👏💯
I agree Christine.....thank you for your beautiful message of hope and inspiration. God's blessing upon us is greater than the curse. We grow in our pain and learn new things about ourselves, as we move forward. The light inside us is more than enough to dispel the darkness but it's going to take time to heal.It is only when we journey through the pain, do we get an understanding of what we've endured - and because we are kind by nature ourselves, it's only right and fitting that we uplift our brothers and sisters, who may be struggling. Thank you Christine and to all the wonderful people who have reached out to me and to you Andrew, for shining a bright light into the darkness for us. God bless Christine and have a blessed day 💯🙏💛☘️
@@angelacahill9083 Angela I agree 💯. The path is not linear. There are good days and bad, but the good far outweighs the bad. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and wiser. Education is key and even when you do everything 💯 right in handling the narcs there is still that part of each of us that wishes we didn't have to and that's ok. It's life though and we know it, accept and move forward. That's the blessing of being surrounded by a community that gets it. There is always someone to support you and remind you that this is all normal and will pass. Have a blessed day Angela and thank you for your kind words 💛☘️
It's sad that people will just stop hearing you explain that you've been through abuse. My mom saw his mask slip and she believes all that I tell her about the abuse, gaslighting, using me and my resources....She can't believe some of the things I tell her when the memories pop up and I share. Then on the other hand, all of us that are victims/survivors seem to have lived the same nightmare....these evil people are one of the same...the same demon. We totally understand and can help heal one another 🙏 ❤
Again 💯 % on this topic. I can relate to both points, being in the toxic relationship (knowing nothing about narcissism). Yes, the more I worked to let the marriage work, the more I was destroyed. Being discarded was another awakening on what happened. Went into a freefall to a very, very dark place, not knowing what is my future going to be. I lost my self, wondering in an isolated bubble. It was so confusing and couldn't rap my mind around it. Could not sleep, eat and no energy in life. Absolute disbelief and the darkest chaos bestowed on me. It did test me to the limit. But by the Grace of God I saw light, stumbled on your channel and now educating myself on this topic. I even questioned why I listen to the channel. Questioned if I'm the bad person. But with the daily engagement with this channel I realized that I will get through this. I know that I needed to go through this to find my new self. I was removed by the Grace of God from that toxic environment to be the better person I am. Thank you Andrew. I'm looking forward in healing and be a healthy valued person again. Namaste and God bless you 🙏 ❤️ 💖
So compassionately and brilliantly said, Andrew. The absolute truth! Please, all of you in early recovery, see your evolution and opportunity to change like a multi layered chrysalis-you will emerge stronger and better for it. Believe, and try to follow what Andrew is suggesting-baby steps or big strides, stay on the healing path and keep moving forward, don’t look back, and you will be amazed at what you will learn and who you will become. The view from the top of the mountain is incredible. Blessings always, and thank you Andrew, for all you do for all of us!
Its by far the hardest and loneliest spot i have ever been at in my life. I know with each day if i continue educating myself and centering myself, i will rise above this horrible time in my life. THANKYOU and God Bless...
I agree even though I left him. It was out of desperation after 28 years. And I was in such a dark helpless place with no friends or family because of isolation.
Great video. It came at a perfect time. I was feeling down tonight like I went back 20 steps in my healing yet this reminded me that today I can brush my teeth, I did eat, took the dogs out. Yes I will sometimes have to go back to dark moments and feel them. Yet I am not where I use to be.
Wow...so that's why I don't shower or look after myself properly sometimes. Thanks for that you just inadvertently put another piece into place for me 🙏
This message is so useful. The panic, the fear, the exhaustion, the depression. It is as if they hollow you out. They fill themselves up with your essence then leave when there is nothing left of you. When he abandoned the relationship and ghosted me as his discard, I felt such outrage against the injustice of it all. I texted and emailed him such horrible messages. I felt like I had become the narcissist. He was always so cold and controlled. I realize after re educating myself on this disorder, all I was doing was feeding him supply. I was entertaining his sadistic need to know I was suffering. I have switched my focus, I have found healers and healing and kindness from the most extraordinary of places. I'm healing me. I'm hoping he will make financial amends as he had promised, but I will not hold my breath. Holding to the belief now I can resurrect and become financially self reliant. (He maxed out my credit card, trashed my car, and left so much debt). He was seeing other women- a recent discovery. The whole thing has been like a horror show, but I am determined I will heal. Thank you so much for what you do. Yes, its good to know I'm not alone in this.
These narcs are our spiritual awakening.I discovered that although I have all the qualities of an empath, I can be tough as a diamond.😊💎 And of course,I can shine like a diamond, to blind all narcissists.😇 Thanks,have a blessed night! 💫😴
It's hard to be your own cheerleader when the people that should love you are against you. I thought I was the only person this has ever happened to and didn't think anyone would ever believe me. My life has been unnecessarily confusing and exhausting. Sometimes I don't know how I survived or if I can go on
It is heartwrenching to realize that *so many* loving people have gone or are going though the *exact!!* situation as I have. I am still in the 'no-contact / hovering phase. When Andrew posts and when I read through our (here) family's conversations, it is if I were speaking, like in the reverse. Bewildering how many, many people's psyche can be the same.. step-by-step. 💕👣👣👣💕
I THINK WE ALL EXPERIENCE THIS WHEN WE ARE IN NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP. AS IF WE GONNA GO CRAZY, WE WERE CONFUSED, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. NOW THAT WE WERE FREED FROM OUR CAGE, BE SMART ENOUGH TO CHOOSE PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT NARCISSISTS. LET'S ENJOY OUR LIVES NOW. NICE VIDEO, ANDREW! GOODNIGHT 😴. ❤❤❤
Andrew when you hit the floor hard and you just can’t see how on earth your going to get thru everything it is at that point that you realise the only way now is up. So you do, you get up and make a list . On a sheet of paper. Priority what you must do, where your going to live, money, help, friends, job…. And work thru that list . Top to bottom . Because your not just dealing with the hurt, your dealing with possibly children and finances and it’s overwhelming . Every day do something positive and know what your going to do the next day and so forth . So folks get up dust yourself down and start … today do it, today . Tomorrow will be a good day 🥀
Lynn your message is filled with hope. Thank you for this positive outlook. Yes a "to do" is a great idea. And you're right, it's not just the hurt and pain, it's all the practical stuff as well. I've been left with nothing. I don't see a clear path at the moment but a list is something to focus on for now. We can only control what's around us. God bless, take care and thank you 💯🙏💛
This is by far the most important information I have gained to see the light at the end of tunnel, I’m moving forward because this channel makes me feel I’m not alone, thank you Andrew and always a pleasure to hear what you share everyday.
Same. So grateful. It’s a dark time. Just hard work to get through and NO one seems to understand at times. People just want you “better” bit better is a hard process. It just takes kindness to self and lord and lots of support. These videos help a LOT! Keep healing. Keep growing. ❤. We will get there.
I gave my faith to God. I laid down and finally surrendered to the process. I was there for a year. There was a lot I couldn't catch but the brain is a computer, it remembers everything. As I slept it processed all that stuff. Some good friends helped me to understand the psychology of it. Others gave me the environment. The second round with the Narcicist lasted only two weeks. Yet that has hurt and I am picking myself up again. First, me, always now, then the dogs, then the house, then my yard,then my relatives, then my friends. My ambitions continuously build on the side. Just thinking of them encourages me to heal faster. To go for what I want and I realise it's been a long time since I've done something for me. Your vids help a lot and are so true. Flowers to you.
I am just out of the relationship one week. It is so overwhelming, realizing what I lost. I actually sold everything and moved to Europe to spend my life with him. Most people think I am living the dream as an artist in Paris. But I have lost everything and I'm totally alone. I am trying to make sense of it all, but it is so unbelievable to me that I thought I knew this person and I was totally deceived. I know it will take time, but these days are so disorienting. Your videos are a balm for my wounded soul. Thank you so much for all you being so generous and sharing so openly. These are not easy days.
I'm so sorry Jill. It is overwhelming when it happens. Mine ended five weeks ago after over 30 years. . What will you do now? Is it an option for you to go back home to have support around you? Like you I thought I knew him but sadly I didn't either. I'm facing homelessness and lost everything. The only dream I'm living is a NIGHTMARE. On the outside, I'm sure people thought I was living the dream also. Remember Jill you have the support of this group and keep listening to Andrew. His messages will educate you and help you to process what's happening....keep listening to them. Keep reaching out! And hold onto HOPE......read the comments. Others have been where we are now and some are further along the healing path and have turned a corner. There is light at the end of the tunnel. One step at a time. Keep reaching out for support. We're all in this together....you're not alone. Take care, stay strong..God bless. 🙏💛
@@angelacahill9083 Angela, thank you so much for your words here. I can't imagine what you must be going through after so many years with that person. I am also financially wiped out, which adds to the overall experience. It is difficult to make clear decisions when under such duress. I will try to stay here, if I can. I did put so much into making this life possible. I hope I will be able to forgive myself for my delusions. I guess that is part of this process. What will you do with your life, going forward? Do you have family or close friends who can help you? Andrew's videos are such a gift. It helps to not feel so alone. Of course I am going through this in a foreign country, but I think it would be an isolating experience even around people I know... with perhaps one or two exceptions. Thank you, again, for reaching out to me. It helped my morning.
@@jilldowell8346 That's no problem at all Jill. It's good to share. Probably easier in this group though, as the other people understand what we're going through, as they've been there themselves and can offer a sympathetic ear, so to speak and their knowledge and wisdom. Most of all we are given "hope". That's what is coming through their messages, from those who are further along on the healing path. I have three grown up children.....our family has been divided. My son's live with me.....my daughter is married with our first grandchild born just before Christmas. It should be a happy time but sadly it's not. I don't know where I'm going to go......we will have to find somewhere, with no means, I don't see a clear path? The family home will have to go and there's a mortgage on that. I feel afraid, that's the overwhelming emotion. I'm glad to hear that you're able to remain where you are in Paris and are prepared to work through things there. It is difficult to do so under the duress you speak of. And I agree, it doesn't matter where you are in the world, your head goes with you, so no escaping that. You just have to find a way......I can tell you're a strong person from what you wrote. We have to learn to forgive ourselves.....really if you think about it, all we did was be our kind, loving selves.....we were fooled by somebody who didn't have our best interests at heart........our core values will remain but we will be so much wiser going forward. God is good and HE will see us through.....we will keep watching the videos and listening to Andrew's advice.....he's been where we are now and is educating us and empowering us everyday. We never walk alone and the support is there.....the inner work is for us to do. Keep moving forward Jill, your best days are ahead of you. Hold onto your dreams and dream BIG! 😊 God bless and have a lovely day. 💯🙏💛
I was discarded after 24 years. It was the darkest days of my life. Your video is dead on Andrew. I’m so glad I found you and your videos. They are the best. I’ve learned more from you than my therapist. It’s been 3 years and I’m on my way to the healing path. I’m getting so educated from your videos. I always blamed myself, but not anymore Keep up the great work. Your the best. 👍I’m getting better everyday.
damn this was a good one. you totally speak truth from experience and it's my truthtoo. the understanding and compassion you extend to us is priceless. bless you.
I think who I may feel sorry for are the people who don't get the education. The people who get these confusing and hurtful experiences, and never learn who they were dealing with. Its hard enough to learn about cluster B personality disorders but to totally deny their existence or to remain ignorant of them puts you in a very vulnerable position to be hurt again. These are complex relationships! And as you said everything around them is affected by the manipulations and hatefulness of this person. In the dark moments I know I did not deserve what happened to me. But in those dark moments I constantly think how I could have been different, what magical thing could I have tried or attempted to bypass the heartache or betrayal. You just feel dumb, dumb that you cared so much. Dumb that you cultivated so much time and energy around this person that deceived you and this purpose that was set to implode (and implode with many others as well). You grieve so deeply because there is something of yourself that has to be cut out- some part of you dies and is lost to you. And that process I think is necessary because I can't move forward as the person that I was. She is gone. Just as the Narcissist is gone. I have to totally reframe my future, my goals, I have to reimagine everything. And you're right, the healing is not linear... its a good day when I don't cry. Its a good day when I can sleep through the night. Its a good day when I can get something done around the house and eat well. I have been through some rough times (putting the narcissist aside) and sincerely some mercy or kindness would have gone a long ways... but I was swallowed up by this terrible thing and I got so tired of trying to climb out of it.
I feel your pain. I'm lost too! Your describe it so well....it's a good day when you can get some sleep, eat better than you did the day before or not cry. It's tough trying to climb back out of that dark place.vpsrt of you dies too when they're gone. Bi reckon all our hopes and dreams, that we invested in them, only got them to discard us over and over. I'm doing it, one day at a time or if I can't manage that, one hour at at time. Please God, it won't always feel this bad. It's been so tough.....I just want to feel safe with a roof over my head, to call home.....they rest I can work through. I'm afraid not knowing where I'm going to live? My life is a compete mess. Be kind to yourself.....God bless 🙏
The impact of narcissism is horrifying. I experienced the despair of narcissistic abuse before I learnt about narcissism , the frustration of not being able to communicate. Now I know that all my sincere ,full hearted attempts and efforts to reach the person only served as narcissistic supply . That is so disgusting.
I totally understand that Maria. Trying to have a conversation is next to impossible! They invalidate you by not respecting your right to communicate. The silent treatment and how we reacted was their supply. It is disgusting to treat another human being in such an appalling manner. As difficult as it is now, in the long-term were better off out of it. Be kind to yourself, stay strong, one day at a time. God bless. 💯🙏💛
Thank you Andrew as always. When you don't know what to do, you're between a rock and a hard place. I'm just managing one day at a time. I'm not sleeping, I didn't back then either but so much worse since the discard five weeks ago. Been crying on and off.....I'm usually good at keeping a lid on things but this has been gut wrenching tears....mixed with fear. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot control what's coming down the line and I'm focussing on trying to sort through our stuff.....bagging/boxing things for charity and getting rid of what I don't need. Pre-relationship, I didn't know some of the terms but I'm fast learning them now and understand it's happened to me. I've lost everything....and I'm afraid. I'm trying to be strong....I've had hard times before but nothing equates to this nightmare.....they break you down slowly over time, spiritually, emotionally, physically that when the final discard comes you no longer recognise yourself anymore. I'm so tired and there's so much more to face before I can be ok - God give me the strength! The one thing I have still is "hope" that's all I can manage right now and reading the various comments, that has reinforced my hope. Watching the videos and learning everyday something new......thank you for the support of you all and to Andrew for uploading new content every day. We're not alone !💯🙏💯
I'm between a rock and a hard place. I've been here for over a year. I feel stuck, not knowing whether to sell my house or stay and try to be strong with him just down the road. I have failed at this over and over. Tried to send it to go back. So thankful I've found you and others to help lift the fog I've been living in for 12 years.
@@tondagainey2861 Hi Tonda, I empathize with your situation too! It's not easy feeling stuck....I'm three months out.....after 32 years. It's difficult to know what's best to do regarding the house......if you own it in your name, you do have a choice of where you might like to go? I still have a mortgage but it's in both our names.....I will eventually lose my home and there won't be enough to get another place either, rentals are way too expensive as well, so I'm in deep trouble..... homelessness scares me so much. I feel blessed to have found this community too and Andrew educating us really helps to understand what has happened. Reading the other comments really helps....people who are further along the healing path, have turned things around and like us, they too have struggled and found it all a bit too much. Hold onto "hope" and think about what makes you happy and the places you like etc and think about whether moving is what you need to do or staying where you are suits your lifestyle better at the moment? Write a list of the pros and cons for staying, before making up your mind and then decide. You will figure out things in time, in your own time. Be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. Sending prayers your way. God bless you, stay strong 🙏❤️💪🌺
I'm sure there are two words which end up unknowingly to us, being deliberately used as a trigger by you AGAINST, yes, AGAINST the narcissist from us(THE AWOKEN) which lead directly to them deliberately discarding us and throwing us into turmoil and a complete mind-spin, because one thing which is very sharp in MY memory was an actual moment when the narcissists really started appearing out of the blue from everywhere and changing everything with confusion on another level entirely, hitting us whilst we are physically drained already(energy-less basically). I strongly feel that our personal questioning of these TWO WORDS hit a slicing of a tie..THE TIE the nacissist has on us...one which we have been blissfully unaware of due to being duped. The closest I can come to describing it(the moment of falling into an abyss, is that we were all in suspended animation when suddenly a cord was cut and the plane flying thousands of feet off the ground, keeping us imprisoned there was put into a deliberate tail-spin....and yet, I personally have never experienced this feeling until that very moment. It was absolutely horrific frankly. Back to those two words..... ...SPIRITUAL AWAKENING.
Thank you Andrew. Your videos are always very encouraging, especially when self doubt is around. I appreciate progress is not linear but I can see hopeful signs and feel myself getting stronger and loving myself more. I like to keep myself educated because it helps with healing. Namaste.
Hello Andrew, I found ur utube podcast about narcissism insightful & helpful. I was born 2 a narcissistic mother, & I only recently learned how trauma bonded & traumatized I've been throughout my life. I am now a grandmother & have happy days, yet I am broken mentally, & everyday is a struggle. I'm grateful 2 have found you, your knowledge, sensitivity, & experience with narrsisism. I'm in therapy now & realize that this will take all I've got 2 survive & eventually thrive. Thank you again for ur help. Namaste..❤🌻
Those shattered pieces of your life will soon be pieced back together into a beautiful mosaic. More beautiful than you can imagine. All of the pieces will fit together and make the most beautiful, newl You.
This is like people who have to go to AA You need educated on these horrible experience so it will NEVER happen again, you are going through a death of who you used to be and never will go back to that place🌟💐
10 days into my “No Contact Freedom”. I have no money left, no home, no family or friends who can help me. Right now I am just focusing on the fact that I traded in my phone yesterday…new phone number. This is HUGE…I pray the rest will work out but for today, I am just happy to be free of that bottom feeder. I’m going to enjoy the wonderful feeling of knowing that if my phone rings or I get a text, it can’t be him. Taking back this “snippet” of control is more than enough for now. Thank you for being here Andrew.🥰
Well done Wanda. Like you, I've lost everything. I'm afraid but I'm trusting God to take care of me. Every blessing on your healing journey, freedom and joy. Stay strong...keep going. God bless you 💯🙏💛
Oh Angela, I’m so sorry. It’s one thing when it’s happening to me but when others, like you, are as destitute, it breaks my heart. You’re righ, somehow we will get thru this. It’s so hard to concentrate on healing when so worried about being homeless, Etc. My prayers are with you. God is going to be with us thru all of this. Love, Wanda
Wanda, I don't know you but I'm so proud of what you've done. Honestly, I'm sending you a sister hug. Keep telling yourself every night that you will be okay, cause' you will be. Congratulations and I wish you well in your new journey. Keep smiling, listen to music, read books and appreciate what nature has to offer. 🦋☀️
YES I am crawling out of this. Thank you Andrew. You have helped me immensely with your support and daily videos which I watch every day. I NEED to in order to make sure I actually get out of this mess.
You relate to us and we relate to you. That’s very powerful. Thank you for putting yourself out there. Having someone to relate to is so important if not essential. You set an example of strength.
I’m in this place right now .. very dark ..but I’m fighting .Sometimes I don’t want to leave my bed or home.. I know it’s nothing but God & my son that got me this far ! Thanks Andrew ! Your videos help me too🥲
Keep on fighting Samantha! I'm in that dark place too! We have to keep going otherwise they win. God will see us through. I have son's too....keep listening to Andrew and we are not alone! I wish you well along the healing path....God bless you and heal your broken heart. 🙏💯💛
I’m in that place too Samantha, I have good days and bad. Andrew’s right we will get better it may take time. We are stronger than we think, and our strength will shine through 💪
I would never wish our dark days on my worst enemy. Dealing with a narcissist, a divorce and all their mind games all at the same time isn't pleasant. Though, like I've always been told by my parents "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". And that my friend, are very wise words to live by. Especially now! You're one of my favorite channels to go on and listen to in regards to Narcissism. Very calming when my stress level is up. Thank you Andrew.💛
Hi beautiful! You are glowing with sunshine and warmth! It's ok not to know what to do sometimes. Just accept your space and flow with it. Your in the light now, we can see your vision. Thanks for your video and direction on the healing path that you share every day. Keep smiling and sharing, you're right where your suppose to be. 😊 Have a blessed night! Prayers for healing around about. Celebrate life! 💯%
Thanks. I do what I do. Some days it s a real surprise. I tell you what, the sun, my dog, a smile, my composure, is like paradise. The rest ? Let s see. Thanks for the share.
Narcs robe you the will to live, but true love can save you. Your heart has descended to the pits of fear, in the mud of despair and misery but the light of love is going to clean it and remember the light of God and people that DO LOVE YOU, including oneself. That is the path to raise again, the light path. Thanks Andrew. Be blessed all of abusee people
Thanks for this. Some days are tiring...hard to always keep working on yourself and trying to get out of the depression that sometimes just overtakes you....but there is nothing else to do but try to keep going
The hardest part and most painful is to realize that ALL with this narcissist was made up, calculated, sucking me out! No Love - just me and my desire/wish! Feeling abused…empty! I have my family and music.. actually a lot of things: my work, my kids, my house, my friends - i just lost the „ real“ contact that i used to have- having a 30 year relation AND a second just ended for 2 ½ years…imagine! Lucky me, i was growing up in a very loving& caring surounding…so; my inner strenght is somewhere inside…pick it up again! Learning to walk again…
Truly I get what you're saying trying to make myself eat trying to put myself first second and third it's so difficult but I'm trying one thing I've noticed I've been ruminating very early in the morning with past flashes of my life and relationships I've had so many narcissists it's all come to light during the ceiling process and I'm thankful for it but sometimes it feels a little overwhelming...
All this is so true like 45 years ago, I just shut off and what got me out was my two kids and my God....I never heard of this, ..I understand now ..it has a title or label
I needed this so much today. I’m in one of those dark moments right now and feel there is no way out of it. After hearing these words, I now feel as if I have the strength to at least get out of bed and do something. I need to save this video and pull it out again whenever the next dark moment rears it’s ugly head, because it will, but now I have a tool to use to fight through it. Thank you.
that is a really hard thing to come to terms with that you were actually meant to go through this. I have had such a head spinning heart splitting combination of blessings and curses in this situation the last few months. Now that I am safe and have the space to heal and process it's staggering. So staggering I can barely move. I am acknowledging the fact that I desperately need help and support and I am reaching out for it and your videos I can't tell you how many hours I have watched. You are a great comfort. 🙏
Been in a marriage for 50 years before I found out I was married to a narcissist. Its sad I never knew buf my life is going in a different direction now and I am happy
Thank you Andrew for such a spot on video. I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I too am not a quitter no matter how painful. Today I talked to 2 different people that have recently had a narcissistic blow up with a boss and a son. I am so thankful that I am where I was meant to be to offer some insight for them. You are helping more people than you could know. Blessings to you.
It took some time but I realized that in my 36+ year marriage with my ex-narcissist that I grew and matured and learned from things. It occurred to me that he never grew, never learned, did not mature and grow and become a better human being over time. He became worse. He gaslights me that my menopause made me crazy and that’s what ended our relationship. I think it demonstrated to me that I just couldn’t take anymore and life was too short to live without the love and affection and needed. I deserved better….that’s the hardest part: realizing that you deserve better.
After 8 years of relationship Not even a chocolate that you can buy at the corner shop, Not even a nice letter on your birthday NOTHING ! An apology? NEVER ! Always me fixing the relation between us ! That is what you need to remember and Much More ! Then you WILL have your answer. NAMASTE ANDREW !!!! Thank you for sharing your Wisdom ! Power & Peace to everyone!
Welcome..😌💜🙏
100% correct. Been in all those places, hopeless dark pits with nothing left to give. Andrew, since I've been listening to your videos, the most profound things have been unfolding for me. This morning I had another lightbulb moment. Yes it's true that unless someone has experienced this personally and gone through it themselves, they can't begin to understand or empathize with us. But the paradigm shift of it is that we who have been through it have an understanding and empathy that others can never experience like we do. When I saw it from the other side, it's beautiful. It's like a gift, a costly gift. Thank you for all you do for all of us.
Welcome always Donna 🙏💯🙌
Yesssss!!! Donna I absolutely relate!! This was my lightbulb day!!! Beautiful warm shift in my life!! I am so grateful I’ve been journaling my days since I left!! I no longer worry about them or why did they do (fill in the blank) today was more about ME, my Growth and how it’s going to be helpful for someone else!! Let’s keep passing on our strength!!!
@@myphd-myprisonhistorydiplo691 Yes, I agree.🕊🙏💙
That's a lovely thought Donna about how all these tough experiences increase our empathy and understanding to an unusual level. I also think everyday life is all the sweeter because someone tried to ruin it for us but they didn't succeed. ❤️
@@coralmccrystal4606 I agree.
Experienced it. They just don’t understand it. They think your Crazy!!!
Yes this is all 100% true. My discard was extremely traumatic..lost my coward narcissist partner, my job, my friends, my home, finances were a wreck..but if you're in that dark place please believe me when i say it really DOES get better, it takes time but it will get easier. Sometimes..i still have bad days and flashbacks but a LOT less than in the beginning. You will be ok and you'll get there ❤
Beautiful message of inspiration Beexv 🙏💯🙌💪
I agree 💯 it DOES get much better.
Thank you for sharing I'm working through this difficult situation 🙏 🙏🙏
Your message has given me hope this morning. I've just recently split up. It was traumatic like you and still is, as I'm trying to come to terms with everything....over three decades.....I've lost everything too, divided family, no job and soon to lose my home....no financial security either - I'm so glad to hear that your life got better....I know it's going to take time.......yes it is a dark place to be in. I'm bagging things for charity and binning the other stuff. When I eventually leave.....I'll be going with s suitcase and a few photos......I'm 56 and it scares me.....I have nowhere to go? Thank God for this channel and you all here on the healing path.....I'm so grateful to be able to link in with you all, only other people who have been through this experience, fully understand it......take care of yourself and thank you for your message. 💯🙏💛
Thanks for sharing your experiences... it helps a lot, and one can see that our paths are very similar. Be well.
thank you, dear Andrew !
this bad narcissist
wants to take everything
I own & puts me down
& abuse me verbally
& emotionally & physically !
I didn't know that,
they are known by the world
as thieves & bandits & criminals & narcissists !
but now,
God opened my eyes !
thanks for explaining so good & helping us a lot !
now I have the light of God,
I understand it
& I protect myself !
Welcome ☀️🙌😊
My ex raped me and abused emotionally for 15 years out of 20 years together. I left with my son. I blocked his number and started new life. He came back, played a victim. Court made me to go back in contact with him and allowed my son to live with him. I now have to beg him 10 to 15 times to have 20 minutes conversations with my son. He used a clause in the court order to prevent me from seeing my son. He won’t answer emails. He isolated my son from all his friends and my side of family. They are evil and stop at nothing to hurt. They hurt because they cannot forgive themselves for awful things they have done in life. So thank you for your words. I know I’m strong and I know I will survive each of those days that challenge me to the core.
Even when we left, our humanity was actually discarded through the crazy making devaluation. I left and it's still a dark place to realize everything was a lie and a manipulation. Also my career, finances, friendships are a wreck. Most people don't want to listen and will never understand.
I totally understand.🙏🌻🌷
And even if they do listen, Kitsune, they won't believe us.
So true!
I understand completely kitsune..🙏💯🙌💯
@@eloisem3214 Yes! Exactly right. I do realize you guys all get it. But I can't help it, sometimes it still blows my mind that there are all these people out there that get it.
Oh yeah! I’m there right now. Discarded, kicked out with nothing but some clothes, some personal belongings and a car. No contact for 3 weeks, digging deep, plugging into videos, and connecting with new friends. Reading books, journaling, and working on rebuilding.
@michaelmendrin993 Sorry about the way you are treated. That's messed up. I hope life blesses you with an opportunity to thrive and be your best!
I became Mrs. Cleaver off the black and white tv show the mother ,house wife, entertaining company , clean ,clean ,clean now I'm taking time for myself work on me. I tried to get help from friends didn't work .
When you're lost and wondering where to go... Just TRUST it doesn't really matter ; as long as it's in the COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION from the NARC !!!
START to COMPLETELY block and blackout the NARC as well !!!
ABSOLUTELY " NO GOOD " can come from remaining in contact, unless you have kids, then you must be COMPLETELY GREY ROCK !!!
💯🙌😉
So good!! It does get dark but if you focus on the light within you will break free. Pray. You WILL BE FREE 🙏🌺
🙏💯🙌
So accurate! It's being attacked spiritually, emotionally, mentally, a narcissist wants to snuff out all hope, all dreams and all the shine or sparkle. They are energy vampires that seek to destroy and discard. It's so hard. Thank you! We are meant to shine and be happy and they are so dark.
Kat Kathleen, we don't talk much about the "darkness" but that seems to become more prevalent as they age. You can see it in their eyes, and that is a very scary thing. Be well.
🥰💕🙏
Kat I agree they are energy vampires. They can't stand to see anyone happy when they are so miserable. Keep moving forward. They will always try to blow out our lights but we will never let them again 💛
The light inside us, God given, is brighter than the darkness in them. It is so hard but we are made of stronger stuff. We need to dig deep for the courage within us, it's still there. Sometimes we might not think it is? We are meant to shine and be happy, to live our best life in harmony and peace. They on the other hand don't want to. Unfortunately, we had to learn that the hard way by staying with them. We know now our love cannot change them because they don't want to and are not capable of showing genuine love. Keep HOPE alive in your heart, never lose sight of the end goal, to live a contented life. God bless you, 💯🙏💪💛🌻
@@eloisem3214 I agree 💯 The older they get the worse it is. I can attest to that....they say the eyes are the mirror to your soul. I've seen the darkness staring back at me many times over the years....it reflects back at you and it is scary. Be well, have a good day....God bless. 💯🙏💛💪🌻
@@christine11347 Hi Christine, good strong and determined words.....and I agree 💯. We will never allow them to dim our light. They may try and have done many times in the past but they won't succeed. 🕯️ Have a great day....God bless 💯🕯️🙏💛💪😊
I can’t tell you how much I needed this. Thank you Andrew. You are a gift from God🙏🏻❤️
Thank you 🙏
Agreed🙏🏽💜
He truly is
Wize 1 sez.
When you must choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before.
😭 its a long journey back out of hell... sadly some don't make it.
True ^ statement ^
May The Force Be With You ✨
🙏🙏
10 years later, I find out that he told other women he loved them right away. That knowledge healed me more.
💯🙌🙏
ohmygoodness ... when you said, "I can barely turn on a light-switch ..." YES, yes, yes. That is EXACTLY how incapable and unable I felt about myself. I started to become agoraphobic! It was my two little dogs that saved me ... I had to take care of them: take them outside and buy them food. Soooo, they are what I focused on for the first 3 weeks.
I would love to be able to chat with so many of our family members. But if the newbies read what we all post, that's a beautiful consolation prize❣️ The unbelievable wealth of information on this channel on narcissis. And above all is: There's more than one way you can talk with Andrew. 🤨🤔🤭 🌹❣️🌹
i remember when I wrote in my journal, "I just woke up". I began highlighting things he said, and suddenly realized the headaches, the sleepless nights, leg twitches, mannerisms, crying jags, were all directly after the episodes of criticism I struggled to understand and stored in my body. A life of migraines healed in that moment.
This is so true.. I've been struggling with a narc for 4 years... he finally discarded me and I can begin my healing process. I ended up with horrible anxiety/ptsd but I'm healing. And in a week I start therapy. Thank you for this video!!!!!! I am hopeful
Sending healing energy and strength 🙏💯🙌💪
🙏
Prayers & hugs.
That's wonderful to hear....keep moving along the healing path and remember you're not alone. God bless 🙏
Sending prayers of strength and peace Lucy. Good luck with your therapy. Being able to talk it out will help to lighten your load. Stay blessed. 🙏🕊️💪✨
My hardest days are when I’m tired. Hiked 8 miles yesterday & then was so sore I couldn’t sleep. Some days it’s just overwhelming not knowing how much money they’re going to take from you, where you’re going to live & being responsible for everything. But, I persevere. Thanks for the encouragement!
Welcome always happy harpist 🙏💯🙌💪
Can you use a bicycle cut down on the hike? Or perhaps car share cut down on costs. Regarding finance , go see bank managers have them help you with small overdraft or come up with a financial plan. They can be very helpful. Any state benefits to may be able to claim? Thinking of you 🙂
I’m walking right there by your side in parallel.*hugs*
Thank you so much for your replies & suggestions! It really is helpful to know there are others that have made it through too. The hiking is self imposed, (smile). I go with a group as a way to keep in shape, get stronger & clear my mind. Some days the hikes are gruesome, other days just the right length.
Right now financially I’m OK it’s just if I have to buy him out of this place & of course, he feels entitled to everything…lawyer fees, alimony etc. Once the money part is figured out & I know if I can stay it will be a great reprieve. Bless you & thanks much!
I feel you❤️
Such a wonderful message, Andrew... For anyone out there, there will probably be a rock bottom and a darkest time in your life. It was just after New year that I had hit mine and found myself lying on the sofa in my study, hugging into my late dog's ashes box with uncontrollable crying, this was actually despair and I was having real thoughts of ending it all, it was like being trapped in a dark square room with no door out and I was going round and around, then my lightbulb moment happened and it turned from frustration to anger, then in a sense feeling sorry for my wife because I then realised that she must me in a dark place to be able to bring me to the brink and feel no remorse, but it was an inner anger that gave me strength because I realised that this was exactly what she wanted from me, broken... I was completely isolated for almost a year by then, no birthday acknowledgment, no Merry Christmas, nothing, yet she made it painstakingly obvious on the gifts that she bought her work colleagues and with what they got her, I could hear her changed fake laugh around the kids in the other room while I cooked the Christmas dinner, I could go on... But it was that light bulb moment that started to bring me out of the brink of despair, and yes, as that month rolled on I knew that she could sense that I was gaining strength, maybe it's that last push for survival, I don't know, but she certainly tried to ramp up the heat on me after that time, where I realised that she was stopping at nothing... She doesn't even realise it yet, but she is the straw that broke the camel's back because I know now that I could never go back to that and I think within her head that I will, my heart absolutely bleeds for our kids right now, but in my heart I'm certain that they'll see what she has done, they know that I'll never love them any less, she hasn't been feeding them properly also and letting them sleep in to late afternoon with no dinner or lunch, feeding them starch loaded microwave meals and takeaways, I know this because they tell me, my cooking was all home made, so the thing is, she'll exhaust herself in trying to keep the mask on, even in front of her own mother... My point of this isn't revenge, it's the fact of focusing on what light will come at the end of the tunnel. Stay blessed guys and remember, it will get better.
Thank you for sharing this HipStar.. you are amazing and loved..🙏💯🙌❤️💪
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone ❤
And bless YOU, hipstar. Sounds like you've been to hell and back. Do be well! 🏋🙏
Narcissist always think we are too weak to put them in our past and can move on without them. They really are something else...you got this. Stay strong and positive. God bless! ❤🙏👍
@@jennie7599 ❤
I've been watching narc channels for at least 5 years and although they're all informative, yours is so much more personal and homey😊 you're like a friend who understands and always knows exactly what to say. Thank you🙏
100% right. I walked on eggshells to keep him calm because he'd have rage fits and I felt something was wrong with me and why was "I" upsetting him? This all makes sense to me now. He would laugh at others post and ignore mine, and I'd ask and he'd say that he would laugh if I were funny😢. I didn't realize he was deliberately insulting me. I felt I was just a stupid, ugly failure😢. I was very uncertain of everything. Thank you Andrew
let me guess those rage fits were usually over the most stupid things imaginable right? That is what they do...they would rather scream, throw things and blame you than ever admit THEIR wrongs..because they are forever the "victim" i had to endure a rage fit over a piercing i had...a piercing. I hope you are in a much better place now and doing better, sending lots of hugs and love. you deserve so much better ❤
@@beexv8857 yes, you are right. If I asked a general question at a time he could be set off. I asked him to not forget our anniversary that was 2 days away and he said, If I mentioned our anniversary again, he'd block me from calling him and leave me
You don't need to be a doctor to know these people are sick, and they travel in packs like wolves.
Welcome Debbie 💯🙏🙌🙌
@@brianreed8271 So true.
as an empath myself this is very true in what he is saying,,,once you hit the bottom and it feels like your soul has been ripped away you can get so lost that death would seem like a better place,,,,for some people they would need professional help because you are literally having a nervous breakdown...i went no contact for good and focused on myself and self healing and doing the things that i loved,,,eventually over some time you are better than ever,,,you will have bad days but stay the course....you are not alone,,,,,i am now a survivor.
Your advice is spot on. I was fine before the narcissist got into my life. I lost everything. My finances, my job, my talents. Everything. It’s been nearly 5 years since it ended. I have my dream job, I am rebuilding my finances. My artwork is taking off. The biggest improvement I have made was being able to see what is really going on when someone is being manipulative. The satisfaction of letting that person know that I’m not playing that game is so immense. It’s like a secret weapon.
🙏🙌💯
I can relate everything you are saying, I was lost, confused, and filled with anxiety. I did not know who to turn to, I found out 2 months into the relationship, and did research on this behavior and sure enough, NPD is what it is. I felt hurt, confused, deceived, manipulated and hurt.....all was not real! I was determined to get out, I went no contact, blocked his number and closed my social media accounts. Now I am in therapy and it's the best thing that I have done.
Thank you for sharing this 😌🙏🙌
I spoke to a few of my friends about it, and for a while during the 'relationship' with one of her friends who I thought was trying to help me. But now I've blocked her as well. I wish I could explain it to all of her 'friends', but they've more than likely been prepped so anything I say, I'm the bad guy. Just concentrating on me now. One day at a time. We will all get better! 🙏🏻🤗
Thank you for sharing this Jay..🙏💯🙌💪
Keep concentrating on you Jay and don't worry about what her friends think. In time the truth always comes out on its own when their mask slips.
@@christine11347 thank you for your kind words. The last few days have been difficult, feelings of anger, wanting to scream it to the world what she is. I feel powerless, weak, used and pathetic. I know walking away and blocking her was the right thing to do, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done.
I hid all of the bad during the years we were together so no one would hate him so when he discarded me they could not understand. I don’t share much now I am isolating so am thankful for the videos and community. Thank you!
That is true for us all, hiding bad traits because of such enormous love we had them, love turns on the bigger gaslight power we were inmmersed, that is the true sin of the narcicists, weaponizing our own love against us. Be well.
Same here. Except I got the joy of discarding HIM. But he launched his revised history smear campaign flying monkeys against me in swift retaliation so my joy was short lived, or, so I thought. Over time I’ve noted he actually has no friends, only supply. But I have experienced glimpses of remarkable love & support from old friends I could finally be myself with again (here & there bc my recovery can be so overwhelming to others, I limit my exposures) I focus on how much HE LOST when he lost me and imagine him trying to do all the things I did for him on his own or having to pay others to do them or the exhaustion he must feel having to manipulate others to do them. While my life is a beautiful blank page waiting for me to write my next chapter however I want with all my strength & capabilities used for MY BENEFIT!🥳
This was my experience also. Always covering for them. There does come a time however when the ex narcs have their own lightbulb moment and realize everything you did for them and that it's over. They see the grass is not greener on the other side and all supplies are not equal in quality and amount. It's at that time you need to put all your education to use and be stronger than ever because they will try and push your buttons especially if you don't accept the Hoover. What they quickly learn though is we are experts on their playbook now and they no longer have the upper hand.
Welcome 🙏
Done the same over 30 years marriage. Has not told my family everything, but it was enough for them to know I am not fine and want out! Full support and all love. All the other people I don’t care about. But you have to tell those whom u love.
Pray for me succeeding in divorcing him.
You are telling my story. Can't eat. Losing my house today. Baby's gone, money's gone, job gone. Friends gone. Homeless tomorrow. Thanks for your help. I'm gonna try and hold my head up.
Sending healing energy and strength 🙌💯🙏
God Bless. You'll be OK 👍 🙏
It’s filling the void… finding yourself again…. Keep strong 💪 everyone.. 🙏 healing can take a while…. 🌸🌈🌸🌈🌸…
Thank you! And you too! I agree healing will take as long as it takes, it can't be rushed...we have so much to process and work through. It's not just the emotional pain but it's all the practical stuff too! It's traumatising when the final discard comes. Have a lovely day and thank you....God bless 🙏
💯🙌🙏
The cycle of violence goes on and on with different victims, love bombs, devalues, discards, usually at the end there is a new victim already in the picture. They have then also triangulated, slandered you for a long time. From loving you, by both narc, and family, they do not want to know about you. Very traumatic, but education ang, narc, makes you accept and understand. NO CONTACT,
Thanks Andrew, ❤️
After 9 months of constant learning about Narcissistic abuse, I have days where time passes and I don’t think of my ex, the cruelty and bullying, being humiliated when he married the new supply and plastered his younger new toy on Facebook, daily. Even with all the books, courses and UA-cam videos, I have been alone during the darkest time in my life, constantly working on recovery. I WANTED MY LIFE BACK!!
But I’m able to look back now and see how much I have progressed. I have learned how to control my thinking, I have been able to sleep sometimes, eat sometimes and even meet new people. I have a new car, new house and a new job far away from him. I’m excited to start working with new people.
I can admit to myself I was brainwashed and trauma bonded by the man I believed was my soul mate. I understand triangulation was the tool he used most to control me and devalue me. It’s still a struggle to accept that I meant so little to him for over 15 years. I do clearly understand. I’ve let go, mostly.
Andrew, this video has been like a big bow to tie up the package of survival tools you have provided to this community. I thank you every day, and night!!!
Welcome Angelica 🙏💯🙌
The only way to win with a toxic person,
is not to play
YES!
When we go through difficult times in life we often ask God why me? In time with patience, inner work, commitment and understanding the answer becomes clear. By sharing our own painful experiences with others that come across our paths we are able to help them move forward. Then as they begin to heal and their cup is full they can pay it forward and help others as well. As a result the beautiful cycle of love, empathy and compassion will continue to repeat itself and serve as a continued reminder that none of us are ever alone.
Stay blessed community. As Andrew so beautifully said the light gets brighter each and every day as you move forward.✨ In time what seemed like a curse may feel like a blessing. I know it has for me. Trust the process and follow your path. 🙏💪🕊️💛
Andrew thank you as always for this heartfelt message of hope and inspiration. 🙏🙌👏💯
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message Christine 🙏💯🙌💪
I agree Christine.....thank you for your beautiful message of hope and inspiration. God's blessing upon us is greater than the curse. We grow in our pain and learn new things about ourselves, as we move forward. The light inside us is more than enough to dispel the darkness but it's going to take time to heal.It is only when we journey through the pain, do we get an understanding of what we've endured - and because we are kind by nature ourselves, it's only right and fitting that we uplift our brothers and sisters, who may be struggling. Thank you Christine and to all the wonderful people who have reached out to me and to you Andrew, for shining a bright light into the darkness for us.
God bless Christine and have a blessed day 💯🙏💛☘️
@@angelacahill9083 Angela I agree 💯. The path is not linear. There are good days and bad, but the good far outweighs the bad. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and wiser. Education is key and even when you do everything 💯 right in handling the narcs there is still that part of each of us that wishes we didn't have to and that's ok. It's life though and we know it, accept and move forward. That's the blessing of being surrounded by a community that gets it. There is always someone to support you and remind you that this is all normal and will pass. Have a blessed day Angela and thank you for your kind words 💛☘️
Amen. This is the silver lining that God 😇🙏👼has in store for us survivors
@@queenofhearts7507 🙏❤️🙏
Do not quit. Your words. Thank you
Welcome 🙌💯🙏
It's sad that people will just stop hearing you explain that you've been through abuse. My mom saw his mask slip and she believes all that I tell her about the abuse, gaslighting, using me and my resources....She can't believe some of the things I tell her when the memories pop up and I share.
Then on the other hand, all of us that are victims/survivors seem to have lived the same nightmare....these evil people are one of the same...the same demon. We totally understand and can help heal one another 🙏 ❤
Beautiful Amber 🙏🙌💯
Again 💯 % on this topic. I can relate to both points, being in the toxic relationship (knowing nothing about narcissism). Yes, the more I worked to let the marriage work, the more I was destroyed. Being discarded was another awakening on what happened. Went into a freefall to a very, very dark place, not knowing what is my future going to be. I lost my self, wondering in an isolated bubble. It was so confusing and couldn't rap my mind around it. Could not sleep, eat and no energy in life. Absolute disbelief and the darkest chaos bestowed on me. It did test me to the limit. But by the Grace of God I saw light, stumbled on your channel and now educating myself on this topic. I even questioned why I listen to the channel. Questioned if I'm the bad person. But with the daily engagement with this channel I realized that I will get through this. I know that I needed to go through this to find my new self. I was removed by the Grace of God from that toxic environment to be the better person I am. Thank you Andrew. I'm looking forward in healing and be a healthy valued person again. Namaste and God bless you 🙏 ❤️ 💖
So compassionately and brilliantly said, Andrew. The absolute truth! Please, all of you in early recovery, see your evolution and opportunity to change like a multi layered chrysalis-you will emerge stronger and better for it. Believe, and try to follow what Andrew is suggesting-baby steps or big strides, stay on the healing path and keep moving forward, don’t look back, and you will be amazed at what you will learn and who you will become. The view from the top of the mountain is incredible. Blessings always, and thank you Andrew, for all you do for all of us!
Thank you 🙌💯🙏☀️
It’s like a tiny shift.
💯😌😊
I’m sorry you had to feel all these things. This video is fabulous, look what you have been able to share with us.
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Its by far the hardest and loneliest spot i have ever been at in my life. I know with each day if i continue educating myself and centering myself, i will rise above this horrible time in my life. THANKYOU and God Bless...
Welcome 🙏💯🙌☀️
I agree even though I left him. It was out of desperation after 28 years. And I was in such a dark helpless place with no friends or family because of isolation.
I understand completely 💯🙌☀️🙏
I will always wish I found your channel sooner. I stuck it out for 6 years. Now recovery of my mind body and soul.
Great video. It came at a perfect time. I was feeling down tonight like I went back 20 steps in my healing yet this reminded me that today I can brush my teeth, I did eat, took the dogs out. Yes I will sometimes have to go back to dark moments and feel them. Yet I am not where I use to be.
Sending you positive energy and strength Lisa..🙏💯🙌💪💯
Wow...so that's why I don't shower or look after myself properly sometimes. Thanks for that you just inadvertently put another piece into place for me 🙏
This message is so useful. The panic, the fear, the exhaustion, the depression. It is as if they hollow you out. They fill themselves up with your essence then leave when there is nothing left of you. When he abandoned the relationship and ghosted me as his discard, I felt such outrage against the injustice of it all. I texted and emailed him such horrible messages. I felt like I had become the narcissist. He was always so cold and controlled. I realize after re educating myself on this disorder, all I was doing was feeding him supply. I was entertaining his sadistic need to know I was suffering. I have switched my focus, I have found healers and healing and kindness from the most extraordinary of places. I'm healing me. I'm hoping he will make financial amends as he had promised, but I will not hold my breath. Holding to the belief now I can resurrect and become financially self reliant. (He maxed out my credit card, trashed my car, and left so much debt). He was seeing other women- a recent discovery. The whole thing has been like a horror show, but I am determined I will heal. Thank you so much for what you do. Yes, its good to know I'm not alone in this.
Welcome always 💯🙌🙏☀️
These narcs are our spiritual awakening.I discovered that although I have all the qualities of an empath, I can be tough as a diamond.😊💎
And of course,I can shine like a diamond, to blind all narcissists.😇
Thanks,have a blessed night! 💫😴
Beautiful Marilena 🙏💯🙌
Oh my gosh the part about the films and books… so true!
🙏💯🙌
It's hard to be your own cheerleader when the people that should love you are against you. I thought I was the only person this has ever happened to and didn't think anyone would ever believe me. My life has been unnecessarily confusing and exhausting. Sometimes I don't know how I survived or if I can go on
Sending strength and positive energy 🙏🙌💯☀️💪
Salaam Andrew...this is me..I was so desperate 💚
It is heartwrenching to realize that *so many* loving people have gone or are going though the *exact!!* situation as I have. I am still in the 'no-contact / hovering phase. When Andrew posts and when I read through our (here) family's conversations, it is if I were speaking, like in the reverse. Bewildering how many, many people's psyche can be the same.. step-by-step. 💕👣👣👣💕
Beautiful message thank you 🙏💯🙌💪
🙏💪🕊️✨
It's encouraging to see all the empaths encouraging eachother 😁as we all learn on this channel👍we are not alone! ❤
I THINK WE ALL EXPERIENCE THIS WHEN WE ARE IN NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP. AS IF WE GONNA GO CRAZY, WE WERE CONFUSED, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. NOW THAT WE WERE FREED FROM OUR CAGE, BE SMART ENOUGH TO CHOOSE PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT NARCISSISTS. LET'S ENJOY OUR LIVES NOW. NICE VIDEO, ANDREW! GOODNIGHT 😴. ❤❤❤
Thank you 🙏
Andrew when you hit the floor hard and you just can’t see how on earth your going to get thru everything it is at that point that you realise the only way now is up. So you do, you get up and make a list . On a sheet of paper. Priority what you must do, where your going to live, money, help, friends, job…. And work thru that list . Top to bottom . Because your not just dealing with the hurt, your dealing with possibly children and finances and it’s overwhelming . Every day do something positive and know what your going to do the next day and so forth . So folks get up dust yourself down and start … today do it, today . Tomorrow will be a good day 🥀
Lynn your message is filled with hope. Thank you for this positive outlook. Yes a "to do" is a great idea. And you're right, it's not just the hurt and pain, it's all the practical stuff as well. I've been left with nothing. I don't see a clear path at the moment but a list is something to focus on for now. We can only control what's around us. God bless, take care and thank you 💯🙏💛
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message 🙏💯🙌
@@angelacahill9083 thank you Angela 💕
Thank you Holy Master Andrewji !!
Hang on and take it easy.
Don't be so hard on yourself,your doing the best that you can right now.
And that is enough,I promise you
Amen 🙏
Yes flip the script.
WoW, yes still watching.
🙏💯😊
I agree 100%❣️
💯💯😊
Sometimes all we need is to know it WILL get better....
Thank you Andrew
Welcome Teresa 💯💯😊
This is by far the most important information I have gained to see the light at the end of tunnel, I’m moving forward because this channel makes me feel I’m not alone, thank you Andrew and always a pleasure to hear what you share everyday.
Welcome 🙏
Have walked this path in the year 2019 and 2020. Sure there is hope. There is always a better tomorrow
Completely correct 💯🙏🙌
This video helps me in the deep despair moments. Thank you 🙏
Same. So grateful. It’s a dark time. Just hard work to get through and NO one seems to understand at times. People just want you “better” bit better is a hard process. It just takes kindness to self and lord and lots of support. These videos help a LOT! Keep healing. Keep growing. ❤. We will get there.
I gave my faith to God. I laid down and finally surrendered to the process. I was there for a year. There was a lot I couldn't catch but the brain is a computer, it remembers everything. As I slept it processed all that stuff. Some good friends helped me to understand the psychology of it. Others gave me the environment. The second round with the Narcicist lasted only two weeks. Yet that has hurt and I am picking myself up again. First, me, always now, then the dogs, then the house, then my yard,then my relatives, then my friends. My ambitions continuously build on the side. Just thinking of them encourages me to heal faster. To go for what I want and I realise it's been a long time since I've done something for me. Your vids help a lot and are so true. Flowers to you.
Thank you 🙏
Man you are unreal ❤👍
🙏🙌😊
I am just out of the relationship one week. It is so overwhelming, realizing what I lost. I actually sold everything and moved to Europe to spend my life with him. Most people think I am living the dream as an artist in Paris. But I have lost everything and I'm totally alone. I am trying to make sense of it all, but it is so unbelievable to me that I thought I knew this person and I was totally deceived. I know it will take time, but these days are so disorienting. Your videos are a balm for my wounded soul. Thank you so much for all you being so generous and sharing so openly. These are not easy days.
I'm so sorry Jill. It is overwhelming when it happens. Mine ended five weeks ago after over 30 years. . What will you do now? Is it an option for you to go back home to have support around you? Like you I thought I knew him but sadly I didn't either. I'm facing homelessness and lost everything. The only dream I'm living is a NIGHTMARE. On the outside, I'm sure people thought I was living the dream also. Remember Jill you have the support of this group and keep listening to Andrew. His messages will educate you and help you to process what's happening....keep listening to them. Keep reaching out! And hold onto HOPE......read the comments. Others have been where we are now and some are further along the healing path and have turned a corner. There is light at the end of the tunnel. One step at a time. Keep reaching out for support. We're all in this together....you're not alone. Take care, stay strong..God bless. 🙏💛
@@angelacahill9083 Angela, thank you so much for your words here. I can't imagine what you must be going through after so many years with that person. I am also financially wiped out, which adds to the overall experience. It is difficult to make clear decisions when under such duress. I will try to stay here, if I can. I did put so much into making this life possible. I hope I will be able to forgive myself for my delusions. I guess that is part of this process. What will you do with your life, going forward? Do you have family or close friends who can help you? Andrew's videos are such a gift. It helps to not feel so alone. Of course I am going through this in a foreign country, but I think it would be an isolating experience even around people I know... with perhaps one or two exceptions. Thank you, again, for reaching out to me. It helped my morning.
@@jilldowell8346 That's no problem at all Jill. It's good to share. Probably easier in this group though, as the other people understand what we're going through, as they've been there themselves and can offer a sympathetic ear, so to speak and their knowledge and wisdom. Most of all we are given "hope". That's what is coming through their messages, from those who are further along on the healing path. I have three grown up children.....our family has been divided. My son's live with me.....my daughter is married with our first grandchild born just before Christmas. It should be a happy time but sadly it's not. I don't know where I'm going to go......we will have to find somewhere, with no means, I don't see a clear path? The family home will have to go and there's a mortgage on that. I feel afraid, that's the overwhelming emotion. I'm glad to hear that you're able to remain where you are in Paris and are prepared to work through things there. It is difficult to do so under the duress you speak of. And I agree, it doesn't matter where you are in the world, your head goes with you, so no escaping that. You just have to find a way......I can tell you're a strong person from what you wrote. We have to learn to forgive ourselves.....really if you think about it, all we did was be our kind, loving selves.....we were fooled by somebody who didn't have our best interests at heart........our core values will remain but we will be so much wiser going forward. God is good and HE will see us through.....we will keep watching the videos and listening to Andrew's advice.....he's been where we are now and is educating us and empowering us everyday. We never walk alone and the support is there.....the inner work is for us to do. Keep moving forward Jill, your best days are ahead of you. Hold onto your dreams and dream BIG! 😊 God bless and have a lovely day.
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Sending healing energy and strength 🙏🙌💯
I was discarded after 24 years. It was the darkest days of my life. Your video is dead on Andrew. I’m so glad I found you and your videos. They are the best. I’ve learned more from you than my therapist. It’s been 3 years and I’m on my way to the healing path. I’m getting so educated from your videos. I always blamed myself, but not anymore Keep up the great work. Your the best. 👍I’m getting better everyday.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏🙌💯☀️
damn this was a good one. you totally speak truth from experience and it's my truthtoo. the understanding and compassion you extend to us is priceless. bless you.
You are so helpful
Thank you 💖👍
You are so welcome!💯🙌🙏
I think who I may feel sorry for are the people who don't get the education. The people who get these confusing and hurtful experiences, and never learn who they were dealing with. Its hard enough to learn about cluster B personality disorders but to totally deny their existence or to remain ignorant of them puts you in a very vulnerable position to be hurt again. These are complex relationships! And as you said everything around them is affected by the manipulations and hatefulness of this person.
In the dark moments I know I did not deserve what happened to me. But in those dark moments I constantly think how I could have been different, what magical thing could I have tried or attempted to bypass the heartache or betrayal. You just feel dumb, dumb that you cared so much. Dumb that you cultivated so much time and energy around this person that deceived you and this purpose that was set to implode (and implode with many others as well). You grieve so deeply because there is something of yourself that has to be cut out- some part of you dies and is lost to you.
And that process I think is necessary because I can't move forward as the person that I was. She is gone. Just as the Narcissist is gone. I have to totally reframe my future, my goals, I have to reimagine everything. And you're right, the healing is not linear... its a good day when I don't cry. Its a good day when I can sleep through the night. Its a good day when I can get something done around the house and eat well. I have been through some rough times (putting the narcissist aside) and sincerely some mercy or kindness would have gone a long ways... but I was swallowed up by this terrible thing and I got so tired of trying to climb out of it.
I feel your pain. I'm lost too! Your describe it so well....it's a good day when you can get some sleep, eat better than you did the day before or not cry. It's tough trying to climb back out of that dark place.vpsrt of you dies too when they're gone. Bi reckon all our hopes and dreams, that we invested in them, only got them to discard us over and over. I'm doing it, one day at a time or if I can't manage that, one hour at at time. Please God, it won't always feel this bad. It's been so tough.....I just want to feel safe with a roof over my head, to call home.....they rest I can work through. I'm afraid not knowing where I'm going to live? My life is a compete mess. Be kind to yourself.....God bless 🙏
Thank you AM MJ..🙏💯🙌☀️
Well said. It takes a while, but some will see the truth.
Exactly..😉💯❤️
My man you have respect from me thank you ✌🏻❤️🏴🍀
Welcome Brian 💯🙏🙌🏴🇨🇷🙌
The impact of narcissism is horrifying. I experienced the despair of narcissistic abuse before I learnt about narcissism , the frustration of not being able to communicate. Now I know that all my sincere ,full hearted attempts and efforts to reach the person only served as narcissistic supply . That is so disgusting.
I totally understand that Maria. Trying to have a conversation is next to impossible! They invalidate you by not respecting your right to communicate. The silent treatment and how we reacted was their supply. It is disgusting to treat another human being in such an appalling manner. As difficult as it is now, in the long-term were better off out of it. Be kind to yourself, stay strong, one day at a time. God bless. 💯🙏💛
💯🙌😉
Thank you Andrew as always. When you don't know what to do, you're between a rock and a hard place. I'm just managing one day at a time. I'm not sleeping, I didn't back then either but so much worse since the discard five weeks ago. Been crying on and off.....I'm usually good at keeping a lid on things but this has been gut wrenching tears....mixed with fear. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot control what's coming down the line and I'm focussing on trying to sort through our stuff.....bagging/boxing things for charity and getting rid of what I don't need. Pre-relationship, I didn't know some of the terms but I'm fast learning them now and understand it's happened to me. I've lost everything....and I'm afraid. I'm trying to be strong....I've had hard times before but nothing equates to this nightmare.....they break you down slowly over time, spiritually, emotionally, physically that when the final discard comes you no longer recognise yourself anymore. I'm so tired and there's so much more to face before I can be ok - God give me the strength! The one thing I have still is "hope" that's all I can manage right now and reading the various comments, that has reinforced my hope. Watching the videos and learning everyday something new......thank you for the support of you all and to Andrew for uploading new content every day. We're not alone !💯🙏💯
Welcome Angela 🙏💯🙌💪☀️
I'm between a rock and a hard place. I've been here for over a year. I feel stuck, not knowing whether to sell my house or stay and try to be strong with him just down the road. I have failed at this over and over. Tried to send it to go back. So thankful I've found you and others to help lift the fog I've been living in for 12 years.
@@tondagainey2861 Hi Tonda, I empathize with your situation too! It's not easy feeling stuck....I'm three months out.....after 32 years. It's difficult to know what's best to do regarding the house......if you own it in your name, you do have a choice of where you might like to go? I still have a mortgage but it's in both our names.....I will eventually lose my home and there won't be enough to get another place either, rentals are way too expensive as well, so I'm in deep trouble..... homelessness scares me so much. I feel blessed to have found this community too and Andrew educating us really helps to understand what has happened. Reading the other comments really helps....people who are further along the healing path, have turned things around and like us, they too have struggled and found it all a bit too much. Hold onto "hope" and think about what makes you happy and the places you like etc and think about whether moving is what you need to do or staying where you are suits your lifestyle better at the moment? Write a list of the pros and cons for staying, before making up your mind and then decide. You will figure out things in time, in your own time. Be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. Sending prayers your way. God bless you, stay strong 🙏❤️💪🌺
Angela, why don’t you rent parts of your home to students for example❤️
Andrew, I think you’re an angel. Thank you for this motivation.
I feel so much better after listening and now knowing I’m sane lol
You are so welcome💯🙌🙏
I'm sure there are two words which end up unknowingly to us, being deliberately used as a trigger by you AGAINST, yes, AGAINST the narcissist from us(THE AWOKEN) which lead directly to them deliberately discarding us and throwing us into turmoil and a complete mind-spin, because one thing which is very sharp in MY memory was an actual moment when the narcissists really started appearing out of the blue from everywhere and changing everything with confusion on another level entirely, hitting us whilst we are physically drained already(energy-less basically). I strongly feel that our personal questioning of these TWO WORDS hit a slicing of a tie..THE TIE the nacissist has on us...one which we have been blissfully unaware of due to being duped.
The closest I can come to describing it(the moment of falling into an abyss, is that we were all in suspended animation when suddenly a cord was cut and the plane flying thousands of feet off the ground, keeping us imprisoned there was put into a deliberate tail-spin....and yet, I personally have never experienced this feeling until that very moment. It was absolutely horrific frankly.
Back to those two words.....
...SPIRITUAL AWAKENING.
Beautiful message Sonic..🙌💪💯🙏
VERY TRUE!!!!!
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you Andrew...appreciated.
@@sammilivin9800 Thank you Samantha.
Thank you Andrew. Your videos are always very encouraging, especially when self doubt is around.
I appreciate progress is not linear but I can see hopeful signs and feel myself getting stronger and loving myself more. I like to keep myself educated because it helps with healing. Namaste.
Welcome always Coral 🙏💯🙌💪
Hello Andrew, I found ur utube podcast about narcissism insightful & helpful. I was born 2 a narcissistic mother, & I only recently learned how trauma bonded & traumatized I've been throughout my life. I am now a grandmother & have happy days, yet I am broken mentally, & everyday is a struggle. I'm grateful 2 have found you, your knowledge, sensitivity, & experience with narrsisism. I'm in therapy now & realize that this will take all I've got 2 survive & eventually thrive. Thank you again for ur help. Namaste..❤🌻
Those shattered pieces of your life will soon be pieced back together into a beautiful mosaic. More beautiful than you can imagine. All of the pieces will fit together and make the most beautiful, newl You.
@@donnahazlett7305 thank you for your support and your lovely outlook. May you find peace and strength as well
Bless you, Henni. Please be well. 💕🙏
Welcome to the community Henni..💯🙌🙏❤️🙏
You are on your way. ❤️ You will find a better stronger version of yourself. Darkness comes but you are meant to shine. 🙌
This is like people who have to go to AA
You need educated on these horrible experience so it will NEVER happen again, you are going through a death of who you used to be and never will go back to that place🌟💐
🙏💯🙌🙌
10 days into my “No Contact Freedom”. I have no money left, no home, no family or friends who can help me. Right now I am just focusing on the fact that I traded in my phone yesterday…new phone number. This is HUGE…I pray the rest will work out but for today, I am just happy to be free of that bottom feeder. I’m going to enjoy the wonderful feeling of knowing that if my phone rings or I get a text, it can’t be him. Taking back this “snippet” of control is more than enough for now. Thank you for being here Andrew.🥰
Well done Wanda. Like you, I've lost everything. I'm afraid but I'm trusting God to take care of me. Every blessing on your healing journey, freedom and joy. Stay strong...keep going. God bless you 💯🙏💛
Oh Angela, I’m so sorry. It’s one thing when it’s happening to me but when others, like you, are as destitute, it breaks my heart. You’re righ, somehow we will get thru this. It’s so hard to concentrate on healing when so worried about being homeless, Etc. My prayers are with you. God is going to be with us thru all of this.
Love,
Wanda
Welcome Wanda..💯🙏🙌💪
Wanda, I don't know you but I'm so proud of what you've done. Honestly, I'm sending you a sister hug. Keep telling yourself every night that you will be okay, cause' you will be. Congratulations and I wish you well in your new journey. Keep smiling, listen to music, read books and appreciate what nature has to offer. 🦋☀️
YES I am crawling out of this. Thank you Andrew. You have helped me immensely with your support and daily videos which I watch every day. I NEED to in order to make sure I actually get out of this mess.
Welcome 🙌☀️🙏
You relate to us and we relate to you. That’s very powerful. Thank you for putting yourself out there. Having someone to relate to is so important if not essential. You set an example of strength.
Thank you 🙏
It's that little voice in the midst of the chaos that tells you that they don't get to win, they don't get to destroy you
I’m in this place right now .. very dark ..but I’m fighting .Sometimes I don’t want to leave my bed or home.. I know it’s nothing but God & my son that got me this far ! Thanks Andrew ! Your videos help me too🥲
Keep on fighting Samantha! I'm in that dark place too! We have to keep going otherwise they win. God will see us through. I have son's too....keep listening to Andrew and we are not alone! I wish you well along the healing path....God bless you and heal your broken heart. 🙏💯💛
Welcome always Samantha 💯🙌🙏☀️
Angela Cahill thank you so much and God bless you as well!!
I’m in that place too Samantha, I have good days and bad. Andrew’s right we will get better it may take time. We are stronger than we think, and our strength will shine through 💪
I would never wish our dark days on my worst enemy. Dealing with a narcissist, a divorce and all their mind games all at the same time isn't pleasant. Though, like I've always been told by my parents "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". And that my friend, are very wise words to live by. Especially now! You're one of my favorite channels to go on and listen to in regards to Narcissism. Very calming when my stress level is up. Thank you Andrew.💛
Welcome always 🙌☀️😊🙏
Hi beautiful! You are glowing with sunshine and warmth! It's ok not to know what to do sometimes. Just accept your space and flow with it. Your in the light now, we can see your vision. Thanks for your video and direction on the healing path that you share every day. Keep smiling and sharing, you're right where your suppose to be. 😊 Have a blessed night! Prayers for healing around about. Celebrate life! 💯%
Welcome 🙏
Thank you❤️
You’re welcome 😊
Thanks. I do what I do. Some days it s a real surprise. I tell you what, the sun, my dog, a smile, my composure, is like paradise. The rest ? Let s see. Thanks for the share.
Welcome Gillian 💯🙌😊
Narcs robe you the will to live, but true love can save you. Your heart has descended to the pits of fear, in the mud of despair and misery but the light of love is going to clean it and remember the light of God and people that DO LOVE YOU, including oneself. That is the path to raise again, the light path. Thanks Andrew. Be blessed all of abusee people
Welcome Frank..💯🙏🙌
Thanks for this. Some days are tiring...hard to always keep working on yourself and trying to get out of the depression that sometimes just overtakes you....but there is nothing else to do but try to keep going
Welcome Lisa..🙏💯🙌
The hardest part and most painful is to realize that ALL with this narcissist was made up, calculated, sucking me out! No Love - just me and my desire/wish!
Feeling abused…empty!
I have my family and music.. actually a lot of things: my work, my kids, my house, my friends - i just lost the „ real“ contact that i used to have- having a 30 year relation AND a second just ended for 2 ½ years…imagine!
Lucky me, i was growing up in a very loving& caring surounding…so; my inner strenght is somewhere inside…pick it up again! Learning to walk again…
💯☀️🙌
This is cutting through like never before
Thank you you give raw honest truthful hope
Welcome Jude..💯🙏🙌☀️
Truly I get what you're saying trying to make myself eat trying to put myself first second and third it's so difficult but I'm trying one thing I've noticed I've been ruminating very early in the morning with past flashes of my life and relationships I've had so many narcissists it's all come to light during the ceiling process and I'm thankful for it but sometimes it feels a little overwhelming...
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All this is so true like 45 years ago, I just shut off and what got me out was my two kids and my God....I never heard of this, ..I understand now ..it has a title or label
Thank you for sharing Alicia 🙏🙌💯
I needed this so much today. I’m in one of those dark moments right now and feel there is no way out of it. After hearing these words, I now feel as if I have the strength to at least get out of bed and do something. I need to save this video and pull it out again whenever the next dark moment rears it’s ugly head, because it will, but now I have a tool to use to fight through it. Thank you.
Angela. I hope you are feeling better 1 month down the road. I am in this place today and this video, and all the others are so helpful.
that is a really hard thing to come to terms with that you were actually meant to go through this. I have had such a head spinning heart splitting combination of blessings and curses in this situation the last few months. Now that I am safe and have the space to heal and process it's staggering. So staggering I can barely move. I am acknowledging the fact that I desperately need help and support and I am reaching out for it and your videos I can't tell you how many hours I have watched. You are a great comfort.
🙏
Thank you 🙏
Been in a marriage for 50 years before I found out I was married to a narcissist. Its sad I never knew buf my life is going in a different direction now and I am happy
Beautiful growth and progress 🙏💯🙌
Thank you Andrew for such a spot on video. I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I too am not a quitter no matter how painful. Today I talked to 2 different people that have recently had a narcissistic blow up with a boss and a son. I am so thankful that I am where I was meant to be to offer some insight for them. You are helping more people than you could know. Blessings to you.
Welcome Gail..🙏💯🙌💪
It took some time but I realized that in my 36+ year marriage with my ex-narcissist that I grew and matured and learned from things. It occurred to me that he never grew, never learned, did not mature and grow and become a better human being over time. He became worse. He gaslights me that my menopause made me crazy and that’s what ended our relationship. I think it demonstrated to me that I just couldn’t take anymore and life was too short to live without the love and affection and needed. I deserved better….that’s the hardest part: realizing that you deserve better.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌🙏💯
Thank you Andrew. I am in that dark place. Thank you thank you.
You will find happiness again. This will pass.
I couldn’t have said it any better. Thank you all
When you are in the moments love yourself even more. We are worthy and we are love
YesYesYes Lucy!
Sending you healing energy and strength 🙏🙏💯🙌❤️
🎉 i did loose myself (i wanted the relationship to work so bad ..) Praise God ive found myself a better version 🎉
Processing. Still, almost midnight. God bless you too Andrew, thanks a Mill.
Welcome BB..🙏💯🙌💪