I am not Muslim, I do not practice polygany, I am with someone over 5 years that has decided this is how he would prefer to live, so I seeked out anything I could find to understand. After listening to a lot of your videos, I understand how it works for some, but it's not in my heart. Thank you for your content and allowing me to realize my own truth and how I want to live in relationship with another and God 🙏 wish you all well.
My husband (of 11 years) has recently brought up the desire for polygamy and at first I was hurt and angry and insecure and overall felt betrayed but after binge listening to your families videos my heart has completely softened and you've helped me to logically bypass my fears and I am so thankful for your grace and shalum and wisdom. You two are QUEENS ✨
This may change over time, but right now my biggest pet peeve is when polygyny is dumbed down to just a sex "thing". So whether it's, "Oh, he only wants another wife so that he can have more sex" or "I just need a husband to have sex with me. I don't need anything else."... So many dark emotions come up. Anyway, I think that some women attribute this idea that men don't need to feel a connection to have sex. I would beg to differ that a man who is being his best and committed to being a husband to his wife/wives would need that. We're not talking about just seed planters. We're talking about men who are emotionally intelligent, connecting with his help and support. Even in monogamy... let a man get laid off or fired and see how much connecting is going on. If he feels safe with you, he's likely to either be available for more connection, or even be more communicative as to why he isn't available. I probably should've just journaled this, but it's typed now... sorry :-) #teamOPR
There are 23 other hours in the day for a husband ... If we just wanted more sex or variety, polygyny is a LOT of responsibility to take on just for that. Franky the juice isn't worth the squeeze in that scenario. It's just an easy trope for people to throw around because they live in their feelings and emotions, and well frankly their immaturity.
Mannnn Listen! All Praises due Coach and the whole OPR Family. This message needs to be heard by the world. This should set the standard on Polygyny and Monogamy. Period!
When someone says "All Praises due" from my culture: it's understood by the person saying it and the ones hearing it that they mean that all praise and thanks belongs to Allah swt. Never has that phrase ever been meant for other than Allah t'ala. I wanted to share this because it seems you are not Black American so the meaning can be confusing. No worries, prayerfully all who read now get it. Your brother, Coach Nazir
I absolutely get it and no I didn’t mean it by all praises due to you as humans. That’s just how this individual took it.. thanks for the insight again..🤞🏾Iron Sharpens Iron!
what about wheb he shows more attention to the other wife when you are together, or his patience is short with you but he treats her better ho is that fair?
It's all about his own interest. I hope men who think he's an example know this is heavy responsibility especially when it comes to housing nowadays we pay heavy mortgages and any man who's going to have two u assume must afford two houses I'm not saying two rentals I'm saying permanent housing. I don't ever understand a man who wants more than one wife if they can't even pay for their children's college education or even take care of the first wife many of these folk's wives are welfare recipients because their husbands can't take care of them for real
Your an amazing sister Allahummabarik and i pray Allah SWT proyects you and your whole family. My husband is saying he wants a second but I really dont believe i could handle that. I have had sleepless nights and its really affected my health. If he goes ahead ill try my best but can invisage it will lead to divorce
Great video but i must say this, your point is not a polygyny point perse' in a marriage it would kill the vibe, the energy, the desire if one person is constantly complaining about something or belittling the other all the time. No relationship can work well this way.
Prov 27:15 - A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; 16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand.
In your opinion? Where in all of the proverbs (wisdom from God) does it say that? One woman (helper) can be enough, but it isn't always enough for the mission a man has. It also highly depends on the woman, or women. Each woman has their own skillset, talents and gifts they bring to the table, some more than others. To make blanket statements like that is simply foolish. It's also completely ignoring the fact that there are many millions of women who simply will never have a shot at Christian (which is the context I'm working in) marriage, children and family, if we force 1:1 only due to the numbers alone. @@LisaCrutcher
By watching your one sided explanation , it's obvious that why an uncommon man did commen things whilst he could gracefully deny it or atleast reform it .
I give thanks for this revelation… polygyny marriage not polygamy… mind of one but focusing on just us… !??? Nothing is every day or truly consistent.. must flow like water and praise when we do get what we desire in our marriage.
Assalamu alaikoum sister please help me !!! How do you deal with jalousie in the begining of polygamy, knowing that your husband is going have a realastionship with a other woman and all the private things he do also with the other wife, like in the bedroom and connection between them and affection and love, how do you deal with this as the first wifey? And how you deal with the worry that you have that maby he is going to like her more than you or became in love with ... ?? Jazakiallahkhair
Waaleikum Salam. Maybe a little late. But what helped ME alot was this: I bought TWO golden necklaces with my husbands Name on it Than i gave one necklace to my husband and Told him he can give it as a Gift from him to His new wife. So she will wearing it. BUT i also Told him anytime He Sees the necklace it will remind him of my Love towards him and it IS me saying i Love you. Hhh i know it is little bit mean but Like that i Made sure He will Always think about ne and remind me 😅
Off the topic somewhat, but do wives sometimes feel like their husband has more chemistry or likes one wife more than the other? If so how is that dealt with? Also thanks for the upload because your topic today was one of the many questions that I had.
its natural that husband may have more liking of one wive but it adviced he does not show/express this to other wives. especially careful when he is in company of them all.
I want to introduce these talks to the South African sisters, they really deserve to listen to this message. Atleast hearing from a fellow woman may make a difference. May Allah accept. And therefore without your permission, I am sharing them videos, in shaa Allah.
I'm South African and I want you to know it's not polygyny is not for all of us , definitely not in South Africa , we citizens go through a lot of hardship because of politics alone , crime is high towards women and children . The encouragement of this practice places more lives in harm's way because we still have to be in South Africa whether we have more family members or not. We need men who are strong enough to resist temptation not men who make excuses for personal desire and make it seem as if it's legacy. It's totally not ideal to create "haram" under " halal". Which is why polygyny is based on
The attitude when you’re enunciating polygyny and polygamy is wild! 😂 I get it, you’re educating us. The shaking of the head as if to reprimand us gives this a condensing tone. Get your message out…. 😅
A high value man doing his best in the name of Allah merits respect ... (having regards for his needs, feelings wants, desires and property). Intimacy is sunshine in his eyes when they rest on you.. a kiss on the back of the neck while you are cooking...a text in the middle of his work and your heart goes awww...ordering pizza when he realizes how tired you are...falling in his arms at the end of a hard day and an overwhelming feeling of safety washing over your very dna. How he sees us is how he treats us. If he sees by our words and actions he is respected he will give back 100 fold. To the DEGREE I give him what he needs I will receive the same degree back. What does this have to do with sex? Everything
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi I understand that but honesty is discrimination between intentionally an act of performing" Haram" based on " Halal" A good men who fears and worship Allah know how to restrain himself from personal desire , let alone desires that inflict emotional wounds to unaware innocent , trusting and respectful individuals. We " women do a lot in this world , most men become better men because of our presence in their lives , why is it so easy for men to just think of themselves and their needs only when they find themselves in a comfortable position through the support of the initial wife
Your definition is weird and we disagree that's what honesty means. Polygyny is halal, it's as simple as that. Even some of the Mothers of the Believers had emotional challenges, yet, they never disrespected polygyny or considered it haram like you're doing. Allah is the Most Wise and knows His creation, who am I to put restrictions or disrespect such an institution that is an honorable form of marriage?
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi perfectly said , the intent to harm the initial wife was original , that's why it was kept a secret only to her. Again grown ups know when it's not the right time to cause pain to others but yes the act is calculated then when it's out it's pinned to the Q'uran ,
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi we do , at all levels , the only women who don't have that capacity are those whose husbands rationalize their cheating scandals and then present them to their legal wives as halal marriage , no living man can treat his wives like Profet Muhammad , he was different than today's men . Lust is lust and only ignorant women can be fooled by liars..
this is nothing to do with Husband because we all know if a man loves his wife He doesn't care about the other woman or the second wife if he is still attractive to you because some man loves one of their wives more than the other. because a heart is only one heart and one heart can't love 2 people it happens in Africa there was the story a wife did have children because the husband loves the younger wife
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Yeah thx that is the exact word. I appreciate these moments so much that when my husband comes back It feels strange as if I have to adapt again to the couple life. There is a sort of freedom sensation when he isn't around.
Sexual satisfaction is not for Polygamous women, not continuance anyway because the man always has a favorite and it's one of 2, but Monogamy is better if you settle with the right man
Funny, don't we live in a monogamous society? How's that working out? Porn, prostitution, mistresses, diseases, illegitimate children, single parent homes, degenerate, etc... yep, so tell me more about how 'simple' your problem solved equation is... I'll wait. 🥱
I am not Muslim, I do not practice polygany, I am with someone over 5 years that has decided this is how he would prefer to live, so I seeked out anything I could find to understand. After listening to a lot of your videos, I understand how it works for some, but it's not in my heart. Thank you for your content and allowing me to realize my own truth and how I want to live in relationship with another and God 🙏 wish you all well.
My husband (of 11 years) has recently brought up the desire for polygamy and at first I was hurt and angry and insecure and overall felt betrayed but after binge listening to your families videos my heart has completely softened and you've helped me to logically bypass my fears and I am so thankful for your grace and shalum and wisdom. You two are QUEENS ✨
🙌🏾
I am new to the idea of polygyny, but I am comforted and learning so much from your channel. Let me just say. Thank you so much for checking us sis!
Is that something you open to?
This was an amazing real truth! the tips certainly resonated with me. Looking forward to more videos on the touchy topics
This may change over time, but right now my biggest pet peeve is when polygyny is dumbed down to just a sex "thing". So whether it's, "Oh, he only wants another wife so that he can have more sex" or "I just need a husband to have sex with me. I don't need anything else."... So many dark emotions come up. Anyway, I think that some women attribute this idea that men don't need to feel a connection to have sex. I would beg to differ that a man who is being his best and committed to being a husband to his wife/wives would need that. We're not talking about just seed planters. We're talking about men who are emotionally intelligent, connecting with his help and support. Even in monogamy... let a man get laid off or fired and see how much connecting is going on. If he feels safe with you, he's likely to either be available for more connection, or even be more communicative as to why he isn't available. I probably should've just journaled this, but it's typed now... sorry :-)
#teamOPR
There are 23 other hours in the day for a husband ... If we just wanted more sex or variety, polygyny is a LOT of responsibility to take on just for that. Franky the juice isn't worth the squeeze in that scenario. It's just an easy trope for people to throw around because they live in their feelings and emotions, and well frankly their immaturity.
we give thanks for your family’s voice 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Mannnn Listen! All Praises due Coach and the whole OPR Family. This message needs to be heard by the world. This should set the standard on Polygyny and Monogamy. Period!
Agreed 💯
All praises due to Allah, not people
When someone says "All Praises due" from my culture: it's understood by the person saying it and the ones hearing it that they mean that all praise and thanks belongs to Allah swt.
Never has that phrase ever been meant for other than Allah t'ala.
I wanted to share this because it seems you are not Black American so the meaning can be confusing.
No worries, prayerfully all who read now get it.
Your brother,
Coach Nazir
I absolutely get it and no I didn’t mean it by all praises due to you as humans. That’s just how this individual took it.. thanks for the insight again..🤞🏾Iron Sharpens Iron!
I know, I was responding to them, again, we appreciate you being proactive 💪🏽✊🏽👑
I enjoyed the information you shared in this video! Thanks for sharing.
what about wheb he shows more attention to the other wife when you are together, or his patience is short with you but he treats her better ho is that fair?
It's all about his own interest. I hope men who think he's an example know this is heavy responsibility especially when it comes to housing nowadays we pay heavy mortgages and any man who's going to have two u assume must afford two houses I'm not saying two rentals I'm saying permanent housing. I don't ever understand a man who wants more than one wife if they can't even pay for their children's college education or even take care of the first wife many of these folk's wives are welfare recipients because their husbands can't take care of them for real
Healthy Communication ❤️❤️ I reallllly needed this ma shaa Allah.
Thank you. Healthy communication.
Ramadan Mubarak! Another good one.
Amazing content, MashaAllah ! You guys are doing a wonderful job counseling people about relationships _ KEEP UP WITH THE GOOD WORK !
She keeps it real 360!
Alhamdulilah
A very good talk...
Your an amazing sister Allahummabarik and i pray Allah SWT proyects you and your whole family.
My husband is saying he wants a second but I really dont believe i could handle that. I have had sleepless nights and its really affected my health. If he goes ahead ill try my best but can invisage it will lead to divorce
Healthy communication- Another great video
Thats a very relevant video , 29 years from now
Great video but i must say this, your point is not a polygyny point perse' in a marriage it would kill the vibe, the energy, the desire if one person is constantly complaining about something or belittling the other all the time. No relationship can work well this way.
Prov 27:15 - A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; 16 He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand.
In your opinion? Where in all of the proverbs (wisdom from God) does it say that? One woman (helper) can be enough, but it isn't always enough for the mission a man has. It also highly depends on the woman, or women. Each woman has their own skillset, talents and gifts they bring to the table, some more than others.
To make blanket statements like that is simply foolish. It's also completely ignoring the fact that there are many millions of women who simply will never have a shot at Christian (which is the context I'm working in) marriage, children and family, if we force 1:1 only due to the numbers alone. @@LisaCrutcher
By watching your one sided explanation , it's obvious that why an uncommon man did commen things whilst he could gracefully deny it or atleast reform it .
Salam alikum! Here.to learn more !
I give thanks for this revelation… polygyny marriage not polygamy… mind of one but focusing on just us… !??? Nothing is every day or truly consistent.. must flow like water and praise when we do get what we desire in our marriage.
Healthy Communication
Assalamu alaikoum sister please help me !!!
How do you deal with jalousie in the begining of polygamy,
knowing that your husband is going have a realastionship with a other woman and all the private things he do also with the other wife, like in the bedroom and connection between them and affection and love, how do you deal with this as the first wifey? And how you deal with the worry that you have that maby he is going to like her more than you or became in love with ... ??
Jazakiallahkhair
Waaleikum Salam. Maybe a little late. But what helped ME alot was this:
I bought TWO golden necklaces with my husbands Name on it
Than i gave one necklace to my husband and Told him he can give it as a Gift from him to His new wife. So she will wearing it.
BUT i also Told him anytime He Sees the necklace it will remind him of my Love towards him and it IS me saying i Love you.
Hhh i know it is little bit mean but Like that i Made sure He will Always think about ne and remind me 😅
Off the topic somewhat, but do wives sometimes feel like their husband has more chemistry or likes one wife more than the other? If so how is that dealt with? Also thanks for the upload because your topic today was one of the many questions that I had.
its natural that husband may have more liking of one wive but it adviced he does not show/express this to other wives. especially careful when he is in company of them all.
Maashallah!
Thank you for your thoughts on this issue
Shalom. Thanks for always real talk!
HEALTHY COMMUNICATION! AND SAY THAT LOUDER FOR THE SISTERS IN THE BACK PLEASE.
Healthy communication
So true
Ramadan Mubarak!
I want to introduce these talks to the South African sisters, they really deserve to listen to this message. Atleast hearing from a fellow woman may make a difference. May Allah accept. And therefore without your permission, I am sharing them videos, in shaa Allah.
I agree with you my sister, I'm one of you 😊
I'm South African and I want you to know it's not polygyny is not for all of us , definitely not in South Africa , we citizens go through a lot of hardship because of politics alone , crime is high towards women and children . The encouragement of this practice places more lives in harm's way because we still have to be in South Africa whether we have more family members or not. We need men who are strong enough to resist temptation not men who make excuses for personal desire and make it seem as if it's legacy. It's totally not ideal to create "haram" under " halal". Which is why polygyny is based on
The attitude when you’re enunciating polygyny and polygamy is wild! 😂 I get it, you’re educating us. The shaking of the head as if to reprimand us gives this a condensing tone. Get your message out…. 😅
❣️
A high value man doing his best in the name of Allah merits respect ... (having regards for his needs, feelings wants, desires and property). Intimacy is sunshine in his eyes when they rest on you.. a kiss on the back of the neck while you are cooking...a text in the middle of his work and your heart goes awww...ordering pizza when he realizes how tired you are...falling in his arms at the end of a hard day and an overwhelming feeling of safety washing over your very dna. How he sees us is how he treats us. If he sees by our words and actions he is respected he will give back 100 fold. To the DEGREE I give him what he needs I will receive the same degree back.
What does this have to do with sex? Everything
Healthy communication ❤️
I love this!! It’s absolutely true!!❤
💔💯❤️🔥
Are you wearing Shelwar Kameez
Healthy Communication 💜
Why are women supposed to understand everything even if they are betrayed
Interestingly enough, we think women have the mental capacity to understand many things which is why we educate.
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi I understand that but honesty is discrimination between intentionally an act of performing" Haram" based on " Halal" A good men who fears and worship Allah know how to restrain himself from personal desire , let alone desires that inflict emotional wounds to unaware innocent , trusting and respectful individuals. We " women do a lot in this world , most men become better men because of our presence in their lives , why is it so easy for men to just think of themselves and their needs only when they find themselves in a comfortable position through the support of the initial wife
Your definition is weird and we disagree that's what honesty means.
Polygyny is halal, it's as simple as that.
Even some of the Mothers of the Believers had emotional challenges, yet, they never disrespected polygyny or considered it haram like you're doing.
Allah is the Most Wise and knows His creation, who am I to put restrictions or disrespect such an institution that is an honorable form of marriage?
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi perfectly said , the intent to harm the initial wife was original , that's why it was kept a secret only to her. Again grown ups know when it's not the right time to cause pain to others but yes the act is calculated then when it's out it's pinned to the Q'uran ,
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi we do , at all levels , the only women who don't have that capacity are those whose husbands rationalize their cheating scandals and then present them to their legal wives as halal marriage , no living man can treat his wives like Profet Muhammad , he was different than today's men . Lust is lust and only ignorant women can be fooled by liars..
Is Polygny legal in America?
It's in unlawful in the US
That's why they didn't respond to you
Polygamy isn't legalized in the US or many Western colonial countries.
this is nothing to do with Husband because we all know if a man loves his wife He doesn't care about the other woman or the second wife if he is still attractive to you because some man loves one of their wives more than the other. because a heart is only one heart and one heart can't love 2 people it happens in Africa there was the story a wife did have children because the husband loves the younger wife
Lately appreciate solitude in polygyny more than everything else.
Perhaps you mean solitude versus the word loneliness?
@@outstandingpersonalrelationshi Yeah thx that is the exact word. I appreciate these moments so much that when my husband comes back It feels strange as if I have to adapt again to the couple life. There is a sort of freedom sensation when he isn't around.
Men can treat their wives badly, but still, she has to sleep with him.
Sexual satisfaction is not for Polygamous women, not continuance anyway because the man always has a favorite and it's one of 2, but Monogamy is better if you settle with the right man
These muslimas don't take IT lighly.
One wife & One husband
Problem solved! Lol
Funny, don't we live in a monogamous society? How's that working out? Porn, prostitution, mistresses, diseases, illegitimate children, single parent homes, degenerate, etc... yep, so tell me more about how 'simple' your problem solved equation is... I'll wait. 🥱
Healthy communication