Love those ideas. In the past I've given the kids and grandkids tons of gifts that they have to haul home and find a place for. It's so much stress to buy it, wrap it, and make it personalized. This year I'm just giving my married kids annual Zoo passes for there families. It will be so easy and something they can enjoy all year. I love idea of giving to others. Most of us have more than we need and it won't hurt us to share.
When you smiled and said, "I'm so glad your here right now, I wish you were sitting right next to me..." It totally worked! Lol. I started cheesing at my phone. My kids probably think I've lost my marbles now 😂 but it felt good. Thanks! I love your content!
I asked my 8 yr old if she would prefer few gifts and an experience or just a whole bunch of gifts and she specifically said "How about one from Santa, one from Mom, and one from Dad? And then we all go do something fun together." I just looked at my husband and said "Sounds good to me!"
We have 3 children ages 15, 14 and 12. Each child gets a new pair of pajamas (not Christmas themed though so they will wear them longer) an ornament that portrays something that was special for them that year, a new family board game to share and then Santa fills their stockings with small trinkets and candy. We spend almost the entire week of Christmas with an open door policy to friends, neighbours and family to stop over any time to play games amd enjoy appetizers and munchies ( we have had up to 40 people over at a time!) and we host a lip sync and talent show every year!
My husband and I did it! We wanted to keep it to a certain amount and we did! The shopping is done and now Dec will be making only one kind of cookie for each child to bake with me and I'm not even dragging out all my tree stuff. Just popcorn and cranberries on string. Simple and old fashioned.🌲🍬🍪☕
My favorite technique for scaling back Christmas - “grocery gifts!” We are all adults in the family right now, so buying gifts seems frivolous. I select a grocery item that I know each person likes and wrap it up like a beautiful present. Favorites are bags of chips, jars of olives, etc. all consumable but really fun to unwrap.
A fun new tradition we have started is to do a Christmas morning brunch. We have each capable family member contribute a part of the meal. We set the table super fancy in advance so it feels special. My kids (all 10 and under) have already been talking about what they are going to make. Even my 2 year old "contributed" syrup that was warned with a cinnamon sticks one year. This give us something to look forward to after gifts. We eat our fancy meal in our pajamas and then get dressed and go to my in-laws.
Great ideas. Thanks for the tips. I was just talking to my brother earlier about how I've had to scale back on gifts for my grandchildren since retirement six years ago.Every other year my daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren come from out of state for Christmas week and when they go home the kids don't talk about previous gifts they received before I retired but of the memories of Grannies house. (Christmas decor in every room, homemade Advent Calendar bags with an inexpensive item from the Dollar Tree in each bag for each child, making cookies, playing games, etc.) Fantastic video!
We also have 4 kids but our twins are 7 and we have an 8 yr old and 9 yr old. Boy, girl, boy/girl twins. All very cute. I have just started watching your videos while sorting out our home. It was so nice to finally find a minimalist I can relate to. Thank you. I am loving your videos on. This year for our wedding anniversary, I was in process of getting kids to sort toys to donate. My husband and I don’t really have any needs but I wanted to do something. I made him a yummy gift of his favourite treats. One of our kids spotted it and his eyes lit up. He was soooo keen. He asks “mum. When can I have my special food bowl?” “Hmm. How about Christmas we do special foods for gifts rather than toys?” “I would love that so much”. Today I asked the kids if they would rather presents or a day at the beach for Christmas. The boys picked beach and the girls picked gifts. The boys passionately pleaded the cause of beach and convinced the girls! So. We might buy a new nurf gun for each child and a food hamper. How simple it can be!
we do the 4 gifts. something to wear and something to read ect.. and our kids love it. It's very simple and I love it. They get one toy, book, something to wear that can be anywhere from underwear, shoes and clothes and then something they need can be clothes too or if they have an upcoming sport and need new shoes for that or gear that maybe it too. we have plenty of family that give them things to but i like to focus on experience. I like the idea of asking kids what their Christmas day would look like. We as parents think we know but they may shock us. I agree kids want time with parents.
I have always LOVE, LOVE, LOVED Christmas. I watch the Hallmark channel all the time and DVR holiday favorites to watch all year. That is also how I've always shopped... all year. I literally start on 12/26 for the following year with wrapping paper, cards & even decorations & teacher gifts for the following year. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around I have a ridiculous amount of gifts for everyone in my immediate family & beyond. The crazy part is that our kids are 27, 25 & 19 year old twins. My oldest 2 are college grads & live and work a state away but happily still come home for the holidays & 1 of the twins is living away at college & the other is at a local college, living here at home. After my oldest 2 daughters moved out & I found quite a few unopened gifts from previous years, this year I decided to stop the madness & ask if they would all prefer a family vacation instead. Everyone loved the idea. So we will be going on a family cruise in the summer of 2019 & the best part is that they all seemed actually relieved & my older 2 even suggested that they chip in rather than buy family gifts as well. My compromise was that my husband & I will pay for the cruise & the older 2 will each team up with a younger sibling & together choose to come up with an excursion each (2 total) to chip in for. That being said I am still giving them a few of their gifts but instead I'm scaling back to 5 per person in my household with 1 from each of your categories: "want, need, wear, read & I'm adding feed." :-) The rest of the gifts I've already purchased will be given to other family members as well as donated to a few local needy families. This was a wonderful compromise for us & now that rhyme will be my "go to" shopping guide from here on out. Thanks for the great incentive!! God bless & Merry Christmas ⛪🎄
Here's a shocker! I sent back 2 gifts. They were far more than I should have spent. After your last couple of videos, I reviewed my purchases and spent 2 back.
We always had stockings from Santa show up on the end of our kids beds for when they woke up on Christmas morning (so magical for them!) Then everyone would pile onto Mum and Dad's bed to go through them together, making it a nice together time to begin Christmas day. Now that they're grown, we pick names and each person sneaks around on Christmas Eve to fill someone's stocking and place it on the end of their bed... and they still come pile on our bed to open them on Christmas morning! They love it, and have learned to be very thoughtful about what is worth spending money on, and what that person will really appreciate and use.
It would be interesting to hear you talk about love language too. My mom's love language is gifting and mine is quality time. Because ours is different, I've had to ask myself, think about the receiver, what is their love language? It may be gifting, so maybe gifting a little something (nothing overboard) is best for that person, while the gift of time may be what someone else wants to receive, so you go visit them and play games with them. Just something God has weighed on my heart over the years, think of others and how they feel loved :) I like your videos and I love Darci, so glad you two are doing videos together :)
Aha! Dawn, now I understand why you are so effective at inspiring me and "selling" me on the idea of less being better and showing me how to do it! You are a marketer~~and a good one at that! :) I have not celebrated Christmas* since I was 10 years old (and I am 70 now), and my husband's family never celebrated it. When my family decided to stop celebrating Christmas, even though I was young and had very fond memories of "Christmases past," I never missed it, which should encourage those who are worried about changing the look of their Christmas! I recall three memorable Christmases when we celebrated it. One when I was six years old and we "gave our Christmas away" to a family down the road whose father was an alcoholic, so they were very poor. They had girls and we had girls, so we had fun buying underwear and clothes and other gifts for these girls and their mother. That has always been my favorite Christmas. The second is when I was about eight years old and we four girls each received a big blonde-haired doll with a dressy pink dress that could sit on a red folding chair that was placed around a child size red card table. So my parents purchased four dolls and a chair and table set that year, and we were delighted. The third Christmas I remember fondly was when I was about nine years old, and while at our grandpa and grandma's house I received a game in which two people each held a scoop style device in his hand that held a Wiffle ball. One would toss the ball from her scoop and the other person would try to catch it in his scoop and then toss it back! The reason I was so pleased with this is that one of my uncles spent quite a long time playing it with me! This is another confirmation of your comment that children want you to spend time with them. One of our son-in-laws "invented" a holiday in place of Christmas which he calls Nov-ell, short o. They purchase a new book for each member in the family and have a day of reading the children's books to them, and they take some time to read their own, as well.Novel idea! :) *Regarding Christmas non-celebration: We do not celebrate Christmas, but we do love Jesus Christ and believe the truth of his being born of a virgin and being the Son of God and our Saviour. I will say I do not envy those who are super busy at this time of year. It is a relief to be free of the pressure of celebrating Christmas. :) I do make a big deal out of birthdays, so your ideas and tips regarding paring down gifts have been very good for me. Thank you so much!
Regarding getting out of gift exchanges, or scaling down the number of gifts we give our family, the really wonderful thing I've learned is how very receptive people are to the idea. I mean, if I'm feeling like de-emphasizing the gift thing, others must feel it too, right? My siblings and I ended our gift exchanges, as did my friends and I, and everyone was SO pleased and relieved! As our kids have gotten older (young adults now), they LOVE to get one main gift (like, new hiking boots) and a couple smaller gifts (toiletries, earrings). We focus more on good food, playing games, or going out to a movie together, and everyone really enjoys it.
Susanna Harget My DIL lives in another state. She is a very good cook. She makes us baked or canned goodies and ships them to us to enjoy with our guests during the holiday season. 👍
We have 3 boys and scaled back about 8 years ago. We have chosen to stay in a modest ranch, only 3 bedrooms, and the toys had taken over. We do stockings (mostly treats and snacks), and it used to be 4 gifts. One gift was always new and matching pajamas. They LOVED that. Then it would be some books and two toys. Before Christmas we would declutter everything outgrown, broken or unloved to make room.for the new stuff. Now they are 18, 15 and 12. They got a few more gifts this year because they have aged out of so many of their former interests and we decluttered a ton of things. The new template is a stocking filled with chocolates and jelly beans (we don't like Christmas cookies that much but Christmas candy is IMPORTANT, LOL), a t-shirt that channels a new interest (18 yo: Pickle Rick, 15 yo: Metallica, 12 yo: Naruto), a book, a board game or card game, everyone got some kind of electronics upgrade (drawing tablet for the artist, Xbox thingie for the gamer and Switch for the sorta gamer) and supplies for a hobby. We also returned to the matching pajamas this year, mostly for fun and because we are home so much. It is enough to open to feel a bit spoiled, but not so much that anyone is actually spoiled and it is all useful things for their lives and their interests. Everything will be used constantly. Except the chocolate...that is breakfast. Lol
When we just had our oldest daughter (almost 18 now) we would spend insane amounts on her for Christmas. Now that we've got younger ones, Christmas looks totally different. So much happier and so much less stress. Love all of this!
Thank you for the helpful tips. My girls are 4 and 5. This will be second year we try the “something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read” tradition.
I am a grandmother of two young grandsons. The rule I've followed since my grown sons were little is three gifts, the same number that the Wisemen brought the baby Jesus. I bought one toy, a few clothes, and a book. We didn't have a lot of spending money when our boys were young, so we had to be wise about our funds. We didn't worry about what other parents were doing for their children, we did what we thought was best for our boys. We also sponsored a Haitian child. I wanted our boys to think about others besides themselves. They loved picking out gifts for our child and it instilled a love and concern for others. I am a new subscriber and I love your channel! Thanks Dawn for your wonderful vlogs, you are a blessing dear!!
My kids are 13 and 17 . We have a money budget and what they get within the budget is up to them as long as they don't go above the budget. They get what they want each year and we don't go broke. We always have the money saved in advance. As a Christian we also focus on the spirit of giving and the birth of Christ. We also have a nice meal. It's always been this way and the kids know no different.
Love all the practical ideas (as always)! This year, the "big" gift my husband and I are doing for our kids (and ourselves) is getting our basement finally finished (doing the work ourselves), and there will be a new, bigger TV down there. This is only the second TV we've purchased in our 12 years of marriage, and our kids love playing video games with a split screen, so the bigger screen will be well loved. We also never go to the movies, but instead opt for home movie nights. My husband is in tech, so we will always be a tech-loving family--I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. :-) These are things we would end up doing at some point anyway, so timing it around Christmas works nicely. Another unique thing we've done in the past is make our three girls a triple bunk for Christmas (they share a pretty small room), and had my parents purchase matching bedding as gifts.
We would only buy gifts for kids. Then the kid number grew since my husband has eight brothers and sisters! 😵 I gave the idea for Secret Santa for the kids and a Secret Santa for adults. We are loving it! It's about being together. Then we house hop all Christmas to do a breakfast or a lunch to take turns eating at each other's house.
Totally agree! We don't give our kiddos enough credit for their sweet simple spirits! We haven't had to scale back but we have always done "less" at Christmas. I have a set amount I spend on each child and try to focus on things that speak to their heart. Things they can play with yet continue to use and use practically. Stocking stuffers are candies or gum undies socks toothpaste and a toothbrush, then a very small something fun. They LOVE this....it's precious! Then we do the find the pickle ornament tradition and whoever finds it gets the gift. It's usually a game we can play together. Most importantly we read the Christmas story FIRST BEFORE we open any gifts! Our kids in preparation for Christmas run around the house and wrap things we already have for my husband and I. It's so sweet to see what they come up with! And yes we have dealt with the "well such and such got a new bike" at which I say "that is their parents choice and there's nothing wrong with the way they have decided to do gifts but in our house this is how we do it "
We don’t buy during the year so Christmas is the time our kids can ask for things. We ended up getting each child several things but I know they’ll be used. We like to focus more on giving, seeing lights, going to events, etc. Christmas should always be affordable, small enough that everyone can name everything they got, and calm. Toy chaos makes me cringe. Balance is such a great word.
I grew up with Christmas and birthday as pretty big but like you said, that was the only time of the year I got stuff. I had all my needs met but gifts were often clothes, toiletries, or other things I wanted but couldn’t request throughout the year or afford with my allowance. I’m in the process of combining that way of thinking with also scaling back gifts too. It’s hard but I’m so much less stressed in this season and I really know that I know what I ask for will mean a lot and not just that “it would be nice to have”, ya know?
Love this! My husband and I started scaling back on Christmas 10 years ago and find that we enjoy the season so much more! What gifts we do give are usually handmade or have a sense of personalization to them or we give "experiences" as clutter-free gifts. Live the gift of experiences like you described with baking cookies with your daughter. ❤❤❤
Thinking back to my childhood, we had plenty of gifts but we never had a mountain of them. We each got one from Santa plus a small stocking, one from Mom & Dad, and a handful from other relatives. I think we’re going to do the same for our family plus a Christmas Eve basket or box with a couple books, movies, & Santa plate that we reuse each year. I’ll add in a few fresh snacks and some new pjs to unwrap but that’s the extent of it. I hope to make a tradition out of the day before and the day after Christmas being fun family time for just the 3 (soon to be 4) of us since Christmas Day will usually be a big, busy, exciting day with extended family. I think you’re so right in this video...it’s easy to worry about our kids perception of a scaled back Christmas but kids are far less gift hungry than we realize. It might be a great time to consider each kids love language too.
Christmas is my nemesis! As a self proclaimed minimalist the boxes and tree and decor would over take and overwhelm my house. I was always so stressed. In contrast I love Easter and Halloween. I thought about it..and I think it’s because it is definitely ok socially just to make it about kids. Your bus driver or boss doesn’t expect an Easter basket. That’s when the lightbulb went on and I talked to my extended family and made firm boundaries about my intentions. While we still love to participate in Family time and bringing food and treats...we will not be giving/exchanging presents to anyone over 18. It has actually gone over really well.
This year, I am making the Christmas Season more than just Christmas Day. For example, having the grandkids over to decorate the Christmas tree and a nice kids dinner. Putting these days on the calendar now.
I love love love the “want, need, wear, read” list! My husband thought it was silly at first, but when he saw how quickly I blew through my shopping list and how diverse his gifts were, he agreed to do the same for the kids and me. I also added an “edible” category, but it doesn’t fit the rhyme.
We're doing an expanded version of that. Want, need, wear, read, to do, for me, and family. To do is the experience, for me is a keepsake ornament for their own tree as an adult and family is a family game or something.
When my husband was alive it wasn't Christmas to him unless our child had a ton to open..I didn't feel that way but would get sucked in..After he died, when she was 10, that first Christmas, we were not that into the Christmas. We did our normal Christmas Eve, Eve with friends at a Waterpark, and then we stayed at the hotel until Xmas day when we went to the same friends per usual at their house. We did a few small gifts in the hotel, and went out to Christmas Eve lunch at this great restaurant, found a mug that reminded me of my late Aunt, just screamed her and made me smile. I bought the mug. The next year we really liked what we did and not dealing with tons of presents. I had always noticed that she got tired out and overwhelmed as a young child with all the gifts. So to wrap up, we exchange a few small presents, go out to lunch at the same restaurant etc. We spend on experiences not stuff and I have to say it has been wonderful. We spend money on having people over, a regular new feature is all of her friends come over and we bake cookies. We spend time together, and enjoy friends. This year we have done away with presents for the adults, even better. Kids still get gifts. We also have a tradition where, I get our friends girls gifts from me(one girl is a book lover like me so that is how it started) and one gift from my daughter.
A suggestion that is extreme and effective is to explain WHY cutting back and how we need nothing. The kids were very accepting and more grateful for their gifts each.
We have been trying to implement a more simple approach to Christmas this year as well. We have a lot of extended family so, every year it would be so stressful knowing my kids gifts would literally fill up the back of our van! So, this year I sent out a text letting all of our family know that we had decided to ask that no one other than grandparents buy gifts for our kids, and in addition we wouldn't be buying for anyone other than our parents and our own children. I did add if someone was really hurt by this we asked that they give them the gift of TIME. Take them to a park, come over for a movie day,etc. It was received pretty well so, we will stick with this in future years. My kids were disappointed at first but, they got over it pretty quickly. We did downsize our gift giving to our kids this year ,but, will tackle that even more next year. As soon as I sent this text, I felt stress leave my body! I love the idea of simple living and have been trying to apply it to most aspects of our lives. Have a Merry Christmas !
We get our kids and ourselves a gift that we can use together later that day. This year everyone is getting ice skates so we can all go learn to skate. One year it was snowshoes, another nerf guns and we had a big "war" that afternoon, another year was sleeping bags for camping and we had a slumber party in them that night, etc. Other ideas include board games, movies, fun baking supplies, tennis rackets, art supplies, baseball gloves, snow tubes/sleds, skate boards, etc. The options are endless if you just get creative.
A few years ago our family felt a heavy burden to change how we do Christmas. We were becoming too materialistic and losing our focus on Jesus being the true reason for the season. Now we don't exchange Christmas gifts at all and it has been a wonderful breakthrough for us!
I think for the most part we've tried to give about 3 gifts to each child in years past (we let that lead in to the reminder of baby Jesus receiving the 3 gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh and then talk about the nativity story...) - I like the idea of the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read," but I skip the "something u need" part cuz they always have what they need I think... and like you said, we have multiple get-togethers over the holidays and there will definitely be more gifts. I can say we definitely are into movies so we will definitely be watching "The Star" again - our whole family loves it!
I’m going to try “something they Want, something to Eat (fancy chocolate or Scooter coffee gift card, or whatever), something to wear, something to read” bc you’re right, my kids already have what they need
Our son was 5 last christmas and that's when we tried to scale back. My rule was to only give/buy things that I was certain he would play with, no fluff or filler stuff. He got a few things from us in two gift bags, and toys from santa in one sack. He was happy, we were happy, and we didn't go in to debt to do it. Just wish the rest of my family could get on board with the idea (although I did get my grandmother to make him a blanket in lieu of buying toys, and I'm pretty sure it's been used more than the toys would have been). We probably spent a bit more than we would going forward, but we also try to save up or shop ahead for Christmas - sometimes starting as early as August when we know certain people will enjoy certain things.
We have been teaching our teenagers to try hard to stay debt free. It's not always easy. One of us lost a job so we told the kids we couldn't do it this year without going into debt. They all said, "Don't go into debt. We all have enough stuff." So we decided to do the secret Santa for a small amount of money and if money allows, we will go on a nature trip in the summer. We went on a Pelee Island camping trip with all of the kids instead of buying birthday gifts for them this past year. They loved the family time out!
So many amazing helpful comments here. My wish for Christmas - to sit and have that coffee (Decaff and coconut milk please!!) with you. I love your videos. Always make time to watch them. So inspiring and you and Diana are so authentic. Big love from the UK to your family and wishing you a joy-filled and peaceful Christmas xx Rebecca
I think we scale back a little more each year :) About 2 years ago my (now) 8 year old started asking for experiences more than gifts on her own. It's amazing what kids want when they hear there are more options than a toy catalog.
My son and his wife downplay the Santa part as their emphasis is on Baby Jesus and the birth. So they open a gift a day. This allows the children play with or use their gifts without being overwhelmed with excess.
Since most of the kids in our family are almost grown, we have a Chinese gift exchange or some call it a white elephant gift exchange. Everyone brings a funny $15 gift. It’s so fun and creates good memories. We just give the little ones a few small things because having to give up a gift can be upsetting. Last year the gift everyone fought over was a huge canister of raisinettes so it doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun. We love it. Gift giving as a game is awesome. Everyone gets something without breaking the bank! 😊 This game is probably on Pinterest somewhere. We just make sure the gifts are suitable for anyone in the group. Examples: food, movie passes or a toilet seat light would be fun! 😂
we've done the 4 gift rule since our son was 2. something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. way less stress each year!
Looking back I wish we had done more “experience” or vacation type Christmas gifts. Open up a bathing suit or a pair of flip flops. But I REALLY love the adopt a family idea. :) I think one clever idea I heard once was to do 3 gifts per person. They don’t have to be big. But to signify the three gifts the wise men gave to Jesus.
My favourite year for Christmas gifts was to swap out the gifts, for something very small, and then spend the remainder of our budget to go and see the "Mary Poppins" theatre production. My son was really angry to begin with. As it turned out, that was because he didn't know what to expect at the theatre and had never seen the movie, and whether it was a "good swap"! Half way through the first act he leaned over and said "This was a great idea Mum". They've not let me do this since though. LOL.
I get that same rush when you like or reply to my comments! Its an awesome feeling. I might be Pavlov's dog... lol. Totally worth it. :) I'm down for coffee together and talking Christmas presents if you're ever in my area!
We are in the process of downsizing. Our kids are adults and doing very well. When I look at the photos of the living room filled with toys for them, it makes me a bit sad. It was a great deal of time, effort and money. Their memories are of the food, movies, game time and visits from family. Trust me, put the money aside for college and focus on giving them memories.
It is soooooo on my heart to scale back. We have 5 kids..18, 16, 14, 13 and 11. When I pitched this idea my 14 yr old daughter started to cry. She LOVES Christmas. The lights, the season and the gifts. And honestly out of all of our kids, she's been the easiest 😂😂 so I feel bad. I could see buying one gift. Per kiddo.. not 3. I don't want to. It's a mix of dealing with kids who are smack dab in the middle of puberty, and there is barely 2 words spoken to the hubs and I unless it's..can you...I want...when can we... It's all just stuff, and I can't get her to understand 😫
So I have been watching your wonderful videos for a while now and have tried to simplify our house/life. It has helped tremendously in a lot of ways! One of the areas I'm still struggling with is keeping our small house clean. I'm not talking about dusting and mopping. But it seems that even the scaled back amount of things that we have end up everywhere very quickly! I think we have probably developed some bad habits of starting projects and not finishing them, Etc. Even things like art supplies. Do you have any motivational suggestions! even just telling me to put things back where they belong! I must have a mental block...;)
Another way to cut back is make gifts for the family. In addition make a visit to a nursing home, some residents do not have family or visitors and would love cookies, smiles and visits.
i have never really had a problem with Christmas gifts, my oldest child always asks for a big gift like a xbox or a bike but we say to him thats not in our budget so he says it can be a joint birthday and Christmas gift as his birthday is on 23rd december so we agree to that and he is over the moon with his 1 gift. my middle child writes a letter to santa every year asking for new socks (and no he dont need them) he has just done this every year and gets up Christmas morning and gets so excited over a a couple of pair of socks from santa. i alway get him 1 or 2 clothing items that he may need or want like this year he has asked for a hoody. but again he is always happy and my youngest is very low function autism and he does not understand so i try and find 1 or 2 gift for him that would help him with his sensory needs that he has. we always have a happy and fun day and have never got in dept over Christmas this year my middle son wants to pick a tag of the wish tree and buy another child a gift :)
We are scaling back because 1: everyone else gives the kids way too much and 2: I started a pet food drive for rescues in the community and I have been buying food & other supplies along with the donations I receive. ❤️ it should really be about giving
I absolutely love this! We have incorporated this with our immediate family but not sure how to do this with our extended family or even if we should. Do you do this with extended family and if so how’d you introduce it?
Yes, it took a couple of years of Tom and I being the only ones not participating in the adult gift exchanges, but we finally have it pared down to where the kids draw names (so they each get one gift) and the adults don't do gifts...and it has been awesome!
I so wanted to go to music concerts this year and add that to the experience side of the holiday, but with younger kids and rural living, it isn't working out. I'm trying to stay positive...
When I was a kid, my parents were not big spenders. Not that they couldn’t afford it, but they were thrifty. I would go back to school and all my friends always got more and better stuff than me. Like for example when Cabbage Patch Kids came out, my mom has someone make me one. Everyone else got a real one. Mine was not the same and I knew it. At the age I was, I wasn’t able to appreciate that someone made it. It was a horrible feeling and I’ve never wanted my kids to feel that way. Plus, we don’t just buy them stuff during the year. They all have jobs and buy a lot for themselves. I don’t feel bad about it. We did discuss going on a vacation this year instead.
My kids are grown now. Santa only gave what could fit in their stockings. My reasoning was, I wanted credit for the “big” presents. As they got older, Santa morphed into each of us being “Santas” and we all put a gift, secretly, into each person’s stocking, parents included, that was a gift from Santa. We never told our kids there was no Santa. Somewhere along the way, came the realization that Santa was a personification of being a secret gift giver and we could all be Santa. I always had an uncomfortable feeling giving lots of presents, which we couldn’t afford. We did though because we wanted them to have a nice Christmas. In my husband’s family he got lots of presents as a child. I grew up before credit cards and got few presents. My parents had to live within their means. I wanted my kids to have what i didn’t have. As they entered their teens, we gave far fewer presents and tried to give experiences instead. Now my son is marrying someone who loves buying lots of little presents, which I really don’t want. I’m trying to keep a somewhat uncluttered look in our home. I live overseas so don’t see them often. I’ll just have to box up her gifts and bring them out for their next visit. The problem is I feel pressured to reciprocate with lots of little presents. I hate buying useless stuff because it’s “cute”.
Could you please do another wardrobe video for Winter and the other seasons. I am in Summer here. But I liked the other one without dresses as I don't wear dresses either.
We did scale back last year. Honestly, the kids were disappointed. If I remember correctly, we did 3 gifts from santa in remembrance of 3 gifts from the Magi. And from us, just stuff they needed and maybe a new outfit and one or two toys. Which actually sounds like a lot! But, I heard them ask, is this all? This is it? Plus they each got each other presents from the school Santa shop. It's very difficult. One of our children is very gift and thing oriented and always thinks he needs to have what all his friends have. Anyhow, it all sounds very ideal and idealistic.
This happened to my family too. We scaled back to 5 gifts and my kids were bitter. We prepped them weeks in advance that we were scaling back and gave all the pure and selfless reasons and they didn’t want to go along with any of it. And they still look back at that year and say “the year we got nothing for Christmas.” I feel like I failed 😭
I just realized how our Christmas is diferent than most people you are talking about! This is going to be long coment... But I have to answer youre Q how we do it! :-) We ALWAYS bake cookies and cakes together for week ahead, we have BIG wide family lunch on Christmas day and the day after, we give each other one gift (never expensive bit very special for that person), kids get one "big" gift and a few small from us (usually things they need), in week after Christmas we long to meet with all neer friends and exchange gifts that are very personalized, not expensive and usually diy projects. Grandparents always ask what kids need so they will never buy something that wont be used. Only "present clutter" in our house are sweets... But that's somenthing in behaviour of our region ...
In my family we share an online spreadsheet with names of all family members (brothers, sisters, aunts, nephews, brothers in law). And we are anonymously marking "x" by the name of family member when we have bought a present for him/her. Before Christmas we're exchangeing presents, so they get under the right tree. In the end we are certain that every family member gets a present, and we can agree for example, that receveing 2-3 presents is OK, and more than 5 is unacceptable. So my children are getting as many presents as their cousins, so they are OK with this. And we are seeing each other at Christmas, so our children can see presents of their cousins, and play with them all day long.
We never went bonkers crazy on Christmas gifts but the 4 kids DID get around 10-12 gifts a piece every year. Maybe that IS bonkers crazy, idk. But when I was a kid I used to get about 30. And my mom still gives my kids a truck load of gifts. But a few years ago we explained to the kids we were going to do 5 gifts a piece, and instead have more family time and experiences and donate to others who need the help. I don’t know what I did wrong, but they were BITTER on Christmas Day. And anytime they bring up that year, they always say “remember that year we didn’t even get any Christmas presents?!” And I always have to correct them and say “no, you DID, you just got LESS.” I don’t indulge them in every whim and I don’t spoil them or make them go without. I try to make it about Jesus and we’ve never done Santa. It’s very discouraging 😕 I haven’t watched all the video yet so I’m looking forward to Dawns input.
This was what I just shared with my facebook friends and family: Our Minimal Christmas Gift: So what ARE we doing for a Christmas gift for our kids? Our extended family have the "openable gifts" MORE than covered! So, my husband and I are excited to do an experience gift this year. My boys are moderately interested in Santa. I'm not anti-Santa, nor do I encourage it. We are firm believers that our celebration revolves around the birth of Christ. But do I want my boys announcing to one-and-all that there is no Santa? Yikes - no. So, this year, Santa sent the kids a letter, and my oldest daughter played along beautifully. The letter said that this year, my husband and I talked with Santa and have decided on a big experience. Santa also sent them a box with 24 clues in 24 envelopes to open one each day. By Christmas morning, they will have their last "clue" revealing a big trip we will take as a family in February. So the clues are very simple. 1. We are going on a trip 2. We will be gone 8 days 3. We are going to a different state... and so forth My kids seem really excited about this. There wasn't even a hint of sadness in any of the 3. They are very eager for each clue and will not miss the extra pile of presents to overwhelm them.
I found out last week that when I was a kid we only got 2 gifts each. something to wear and something fun. I didn't even realize this as a kid. My kids are getting 3 this year one toy and two things they need. I have been scaling back a little every year so its not a sudden drop.
We do something you need and something to wear they get 3 things to wear and something they want and something to read we been devotionals for something to read ....
I have two small children and I thought, “okay, one from Santa, one from us, and one from each other.” But now, I’m getting texts from extended family about what to get my kids and thinking there is going to be a mountain of toys on Christmas. So, I’m thinking maybe they get one from Santa and some stocking stuffers and that’s it.
When our kids were young we did three presents like the wise men brought for Jesus. When they were older we set a price limit and they could either get gifts, cash, or a combination of the two.
Here in puerto rico we have christmas AND three kings day. So i basically give around 5 gifts (whatever price but try to keep a budget per kid) for christmas and one for 3 kigs fay sincd family members like grqndparents get them a fee gifts. Still i would love to scale back to like 3 for christmas and find it challenging... as i have commented before, my yougests (5 and 2) inherit the oldest one (15) things.., and some are in great conditions that i put them as christmas gifts. When they are small they dont even notice but the have grown to the idea of many gifts under the tree (and i cant lie, i love it too). Like... i have the gifts for this year already and found some books amd board game that thry can use now but they add to the number of gifts.... but at the end i dont mind... part are bought and part inherited... i like many gifts rather than one big one. My husband is the total opposite, but we were raised like that.. so we find a balance.
I remember the day we gifted the famous Buzz Light year... his face eas priceless, my oldest son was teary of happiness and we lauguing like mission accomplished.
we don't really buy gift for each other in my family. I used to but stop bc it just another unless stuff that they didn't need. instead I gift my family what they need or cash so they can use it how they wish.
I don’t pretend Santa is real, because if I lie to my kids about him, why should they believe me about Jesus being real? I am trying to scale back gifts, too. Thank you!
So this is how we tackle this issue in our home. 1 - we use Christ as our example. Christ got three gifts so we follow the same example we give our children each three gifts. 2- we sit down with our kids and have an honest conversation with each one of them about what they really want. We go on to Amazon we look through lots of different things and we narrow it down to three. I thought that doing this would take the fun out of gift-giving. Actually if anything else it's done the opposite. They have a really good idea of what they are getting and they're so excited to receive them. So we just sit down with our kids and have an honest conversation about what they want and how much we are willing to spend on Christmas. By doing this it has helped us to meet in the middle. I understand that this is not an idea for everyone however this is worked for us. Thanks for reading, Carrie Spencer
Same. Essentially, it mirrors what the world tells us, “all you have to do is be good (enough) and you’ll get your reward in the end (heaven).” Not how it works. If all you are in life is “good”, you’ll certainly get your reward in the end, but it definitely won’t be heaven.
Love those ideas. In the past I've given the kids and grandkids tons of gifts that they have to haul home and find a place for. It's so much stress to buy it, wrap it, and make it personalized. This year I'm just giving my married kids annual Zoo passes for there families. It will be so easy and something they can enjoy all year. I love idea of giving to others. Most of us have more than we need and it won't hurt us to share.
LOOOOVE this idea!!! Thank you for sharing!!!
I would love to receive a gift like that.
Ruth Ann Solomon I love the zoo pass idea!
You make the sweetest most genuine and helpful videos !
Thank you!!!! :)
Minnesota Mama I agree!
@@TheMinimalMom you are soooooo welcome
When you smiled and said, "I'm so glad your here right now, I wish you were sitting right next to me..." It totally worked! Lol. I started cheesing at my phone. My kids probably think I've lost my marbles now 😂 but it felt good. Thanks! I love your content!
Awe, this made me cheese at my computer!! I wasn't positive if it would translate, I'm glad to hear it worked ;)
Me too, I was smiling away
I asked my 8 yr old if she would prefer few gifts and an experience or just a whole bunch of gifts and she specifically said "How about one from Santa, one from Mom, and one from Dad? And then we all go do something fun together." I just looked at my husband and said "Sounds good to me!"
Clever kid!
LOOOVE this!!! So sweet!!
Awww, that made my eyes well up with happy tears! What a sweet little girl you're raising. Very proud of her! Have a fantastic Christmas you guys!
Thanks ! It was a very proud moment for sure! :)
@@kelseyd4196 Hope you have an amazing Christmas as well ❤
We have 3 children ages 15, 14 and 12. Each child gets a new pair of pajamas (not Christmas themed though so they will wear them longer) an ornament that portrays something that was special for them that year, a new family board game to share and then Santa fills their stockings with small trinkets and candy. We spend almost the entire week of Christmas with an open door policy to friends, neighbours and family to stop over any time to play games amd enjoy appetizers and munchies ( we have had up to 40 people over at a time!) and we host a lip sync and talent show every year!
My husband and I did it! We wanted to keep it to a certain amount and we did! The shopping is done and now Dec will be making only one kind of cookie for each child to bake with me and I'm not even dragging out all my tree stuff. Just popcorn and cranberries on string. Simple and old fashioned.🌲🍬🍪☕
YAY!!! LOVE this!!!! :) :) :)
Great videos and great advice, thank you😇♥️. With older children, no gifts, just a whole lot of cooking😋😀.
My favorite technique for scaling back Christmas - “grocery gifts!” We are all adults in the family right now, so buying gifts seems frivolous. I select a grocery item that I know each person likes and wrap it up like a beautiful present. Favorites are bags of chips, jars of olives, etc. all consumable but really fun to unwrap.
A fun new tradition we have started is to do a Christmas morning brunch. We have each capable family member contribute a part of the meal. We set the table super fancy in advance so it feels special. My kids (all 10 and under) have already been talking about what they are going to make. Even my 2 year old "contributed" syrup that was warned with a cinnamon sticks one year. This give us something to look forward to after gifts. We eat our fancy meal in our pajamas and then get dressed and go to my in-laws.
Oh my goodness, I LOVE this idea!!!! Our kids would really like this!!
samzman9 I’m totally going to start this tradition with my little family. Thank you I love this idea x
Also I just wanted to say that your channel is quickly becoming one of my favorites!! You are doing a great job!!
Thank YOU, I greatly appreciate that!!! :)
In Australia we don't go back to school until the end of January so kids never compare gifts here so that's one less thing to worry about.
Great ideas. Thanks for the tips. I was just talking to my brother earlier about how I've had to scale back on gifts for my grandchildren since retirement six years ago.Every other year my daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren come from out of state for Christmas week and when they go home the kids don't talk about previous gifts they received before I retired but of the memories of Grannies house. (Christmas decor in every room, homemade Advent Calendar bags with an inexpensive item from the Dollar Tree in each bag for each child, making cookies, playing games, etc.) Fantastic video!
We also have 4 kids but our twins are 7 and we have an 8 yr old and 9 yr old. Boy, girl, boy/girl twins. All very cute. I have just started watching your videos while sorting out our home. It was so nice to finally find a minimalist I can relate to. Thank you. I am loving your videos on. This year for our wedding anniversary, I was in process of getting kids to sort toys to donate. My husband and I don’t really have any needs but I wanted to do something. I made him a yummy gift of his favourite treats. One of our kids spotted it and his eyes lit up. He was soooo keen. He asks “mum. When can I have my special food bowl?” “Hmm. How about Christmas we do special foods for gifts rather than toys?” “I would love that so much”. Today I asked the kids if they would rather presents or a day at the beach for Christmas. The boys picked beach and the girls picked gifts. The boys passionately pleaded the cause of beach and convinced the girls! So. We might buy a new nurf gun for each child and a food hamper. How simple it can be!
we do the 4 gifts. something to wear and something to read ect.. and our kids love it. It's very simple and I love it. They get one toy, book, something to wear that can be anywhere from underwear, shoes and clothes and then something they need can be clothes too or if they have an upcoming sport and need new shoes for that or gear that maybe it too. we have plenty of family that give them things to but i like to focus on experience.
I like the idea of asking kids what their Christmas day would look like. We as parents think we know but they may shock us. I agree kids want time with parents.
I have always LOVE, LOVE, LOVED Christmas. I watch the Hallmark channel all the time and DVR holiday favorites to watch all year. That is also how I've always shopped... all year. I literally start on 12/26 for the following year with wrapping paper, cards & even decorations & teacher gifts for the following year. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around I have a ridiculous amount of gifts for everyone in my immediate family & beyond. The crazy part is that our kids are 27, 25 & 19 year old twins. My oldest 2 are college grads & live and work a state away but happily still come home for the holidays & 1 of the twins is living away at college & the other is at a local college, living here at home. After my oldest 2 daughters moved out & I found quite a few unopened gifts from previous years, this year I decided to stop the madness & ask if they would all prefer a family vacation instead. Everyone loved the idea. So we will be going on a family cruise in the summer of 2019 & the best part is that they all seemed actually relieved & my older 2 even suggested that they chip in rather than buy family gifts as well. My compromise was that my husband & I will pay for the cruise & the older 2 will each team up with a younger sibling & together choose to come up with an excursion each (2 total) to chip in for. That being said I am still giving them a few of their gifts but instead I'm scaling back to 5 per person in my household with 1 from each of your categories: "want, need, wear, read & I'm adding feed." :-) The rest of the gifts I've already purchased will be given to other family members as well as donated to a few local needy families. This was a wonderful compromise for us & now that rhyme will be my "go to" shopping guide from here on out. Thanks for the great incentive!! God bless & Merry Christmas ⛪🎄
Here's a shocker! I sent back 2 gifts. They were far more than I should have spent. After your last couple of videos, I reviewed my purchases and spent 2 back.
That is awesome! I've been making a lot of returns this year myself.
Rewatching! Thanks for this reality check
We always had stockings from Santa show up on the end of our kids beds for when they woke up on Christmas morning (so magical for them!) Then everyone would pile onto Mum and Dad's bed to go through them together, making it a nice together time to begin Christmas day. Now that they're grown, we pick names and each person sneaks around on Christmas Eve to fill someone's stocking and place it on the end of their bed... and they still come pile on our bed to open them on Christmas morning! They love it, and have learned to be very thoughtful about what is worth spending money on, and what that person will really appreciate and use.
It would be interesting to hear you talk about love language too. My mom's love language is gifting and mine is quality time. Because ours is different, I've had to ask myself, think about the receiver, what is their love language? It may be gifting, so maybe gifting a little something (nothing overboard) is best for that person, while the gift of time may be what someone else wants to receive, so you go visit them and play games with them. Just something God has weighed on my heart over the years, think of others and how they feel loved :) I like your videos and I love Darci, so glad you two are doing videos together :)
Aha! Dawn, now I understand why you are so effective at inspiring me and "selling" me on the idea of less being better and showing me how to do it! You are a marketer~~and a good one at that! :)
I have not celebrated Christmas* since I was 10 years old (and I am 70 now), and my husband's family never celebrated it. When my family decided to stop celebrating Christmas, even though I was young and had very fond memories of "Christmases past," I never missed it, which should encourage those who are worried about changing the look of their Christmas!
I recall three memorable Christmases when we celebrated it. One when I was six years old and we "gave our Christmas away" to a family down the road whose father was an alcoholic, so they were very poor. They had girls and we had girls, so we had fun buying underwear and clothes and other gifts for these girls and their mother. That has always been my favorite Christmas. The second is when I was about eight years old and we four girls each received a big blonde-haired doll with a dressy pink dress that could sit on a red folding chair that was placed around a child size red card table. So my parents purchased four dolls and a chair and table set that year, and we were delighted. The third Christmas I remember fondly was when I was about nine years old, and while at our grandpa and grandma's house I received a game in which two people each held a scoop style device in his hand that held a Wiffle ball. One would toss the ball from her scoop and the other person would try to catch it in his scoop and then toss it back! The reason I was so pleased with this is that one of my uncles spent quite a long time playing it with me! This is another confirmation of your comment that children want you to spend time with them.
One of our son-in-laws "invented" a holiday in place of Christmas which he calls Nov-ell, short o. They purchase a new book for each member in the family and have a day of reading the children's books to them, and they take some time to read their own, as well.Novel idea! :)
*Regarding Christmas non-celebration: We do not celebrate Christmas, but we do love Jesus Christ and believe the truth of his being born of a virgin and being the Son of God and our Saviour. I will say I do not envy those who are super busy at this time of year. It is a relief to be free of the pressure of celebrating Christmas. :) I do make a big deal out of birthdays, so your ideas and tips regarding paring down gifts have been very good for me. Thank you so much!
Regarding getting out of gift exchanges, or scaling down the number of gifts we give our family, the really wonderful thing I've learned is how very receptive people are to the idea. I mean, if I'm feeling like de-emphasizing the gift thing, others must feel it too, right? My siblings and I ended our gift exchanges, as did my friends and I, and everyone was SO pleased and relieved! As our kids have gotten older (young adults now), they LOVE to get one main gift (like, new hiking boots) and a couple smaller gifts (toiletries, earrings). We focus more on good food, playing games, or going out to a movie together, and everyone really enjoys it.
YES, that is such a good point, you are right on!!!
Susanna Harget My DIL lives in another state. She is a very good cook. She makes us baked or canned goodies and ships them to us to enjoy with our guests during the holiday season. 👍
Your content is so original. Thank you, thank you. I really love the tips.
Thank YOU!!! :) :) :)
We have 3 boys and scaled back about 8 years ago. We have chosen to stay in a modest ranch, only 3 bedrooms, and the toys had taken over. We do stockings (mostly treats and snacks), and it used to be 4 gifts. One gift was always new and matching pajamas. They LOVED that. Then it would be some books and two toys. Before Christmas we would declutter everything outgrown, broken or unloved to make room.for the new stuff. Now they are 18, 15 and 12. They got a few more gifts this year because they have aged out of so many of their former interests and we decluttered a ton of things. The new template is a stocking filled with chocolates and jelly beans (we don't like Christmas cookies that much but Christmas candy is IMPORTANT, LOL), a t-shirt that channels a new interest (18 yo: Pickle Rick, 15 yo: Metallica, 12 yo: Naruto), a book, a board game or card game, everyone got some kind of electronics upgrade (drawing tablet for the artist, Xbox thingie for the gamer and Switch for the sorta gamer) and supplies for a hobby. We also returned to the matching pajamas this year, mostly for fun and because we are home so much.
It is enough to open to feel a bit spoiled, but not so much that anyone is actually spoiled and it is all useful things for their lives and their interests. Everything will be used constantly. Except the chocolate...that is breakfast. Lol
When we just had our oldest daughter (almost 18 now) we would spend insane amounts on her for Christmas. Now that we've got younger ones, Christmas looks totally different. So much happier and so much less stress. Love all of this!
Thank you for the helpful tips. My girls are 4 and 5. This will be second year we try the “something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read” tradition.
It is so freeing to scale back. Thanks for the encouragement!
I am a grandmother of two young grandsons. The rule I've followed since my grown sons were little is three gifts, the same number that the Wisemen brought the baby Jesus. I bought one toy, a few clothes, and a book. We didn't have a lot of spending money when our boys were young, so we had to be wise about our funds. We didn't worry about what other parents were doing for their children, we did what we thought was best for our boys. We also sponsored a Haitian child. I wanted our boys to think about others besides themselves. They loved picking out gifts for our child and it instilled a love and concern for others. I am a new subscriber and I love your channel! Thanks Dawn for your wonderful vlogs, you are a blessing dear!!
My kids are 13 and 17 . We have a money budget and what they get within the budget is up to them as long as they don't go above the budget. They get what they want each year and we don't go broke. We always have the money saved in advance. As a Christian we also focus on the spirit of giving and the birth of Christ. We also have a nice meal. It's always been this way and the kids know no different.
This sounds wonderful!!! Good job!!! :)
So important!
I watch all your videos, even the ones with the children. My youngest is18 and the oldest is 24 years old, but the advice is still great.
Love all the practical ideas (as always)! This year, the "big" gift my husband and I are doing for our kids (and ourselves) is getting our basement finally finished (doing the work ourselves), and there will be a new, bigger TV down there. This is only the second TV we've purchased in our 12 years of marriage, and our kids love playing video games with a split screen, so the bigger screen will be well loved. We also never go to the movies, but instead opt for home movie nights. My husband is in tech, so we will always be a tech-loving family--I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. :-) These are things we would end up doing at some point anyway, so timing it around Christmas works nicely.
Another unique thing we've done in the past is make our three girls a triple bunk for Christmas (they share a pretty small room), and had my parents purchase matching bedding as gifts.
We would only buy gifts for kids. Then the kid number grew since my husband has eight brothers and sisters! 😵 I gave the idea for Secret Santa for the kids and a Secret Santa for adults. We are loving it! It's about being together. Then we house hop all Christmas to do a breakfast or a lunch to take turns eating at each other's house.
Ah, love the house hopping idea, how fun!!
Mine too!!! I can't wait for anotherone!
Totally agree! We don't give our kiddos enough credit for their sweet simple spirits! We haven't had to scale back but we have always done "less" at Christmas. I have a set amount I spend on each child and try to focus on things that speak to their heart. Things they can play with yet continue to use and use practically. Stocking stuffers are candies or gum undies socks toothpaste and a toothbrush, then a very small something fun. They LOVE this....it's precious! Then we do the find the pickle ornament tradition and whoever finds it gets the gift. It's usually a game we can play together. Most importantly we read the Christmas story FIRST BEFORE we open any gifts! Our kids in preparation for Christmas run around the house and wrap things we already have for my husband and I. It's so sweet to see what they come up with!
And yes we have dealt with the "well such and such got a new bike" at which I say "that is their parents choice and there's nothing wrong with the way they have decided to do gifts but in our house this is how we do it "
We don’t buy during the year so Christmas is the time our kids can ask for things. We ended up getting each child several things but I know they’ll be used. We like to focus more on giving, seeing lights, going to events, etc. Christmas should always be affordable, small enough that everyone can name everything they got, and calm. Toy chaos makes me cringe. Balance is such a great word.
AMEN!!! Well said!!!
I grew up with Christmas and birthday as pretty big but like you said, that was the only time of the year I got stuff. I had all my needs met but gifts were often clothes, toiletries, or other things I wanted but couldn’t request throughout the year or afford with my allowance. I’m in the process of combining that way of thinking with also scaling back gifts too. It’s hard but I’m so much less stressed in this season and I really know that I know what I ask for will mean a lot and not just that “it would be nice to have”, ya know?
Love this! My husband and I started scaling back on Christmas 10 years ago and find that we enjoy the season so much more! What gifts we do give are usually handmade or have a sense of personalization to them or we give "experiences" as clutter-free gifts. Live the gift of experiences like you described with baking cookies with your daughter. ❤❤❤
Thinking back to my childhood, we had plenty of gifts but we never had a mountain of them. We each got one from Santa plus a small stocking, one from Mom & Dad, and a handful from other relatives. I think we’re going to do the same for our family plus a Christmas Eve basket or box with a couple books, movies, & Santa plate that we reuse each year. I’ll add in a few fresh snacks and some new pjs to unwrap but that’s the extent of it. I hope to make a tradition out of the day before and the day after Christmas being fun family time for just the 3 (soon to be 4) of us since Christmas Day will usually be a big, busy, exciting day with extended family.
I think you’re so right in this video...it’s easy to worry about our kids perception of a scaled back Christmas but kids are far less gift hungry than we realize. It might be a great time to consider each kids love language too.
That's my favorite video EVER. To think about what I love on the day of Christmas and what would love my family!!!
Christmas is my nemesis! As a self proclaimed minimalist the boxes and tree and decor would over take and overwhelm my house. I was always so stressed. In contrast I love Easter and Halloween. I thought about it..and I think it’s because it is definitely ok socially just to make it about kids. Your bus driver or boss doesn’t expect an Easter basket.
That’s when the lightbulb went on and I talked to my extended family and made firm boundaries about my intentions. While we still love to participate in Family time and bringing food and treats...we will not be giving/exchanging presents to anyone over 18. It has actually gone over really well.
This year, I am making the Christmas Season more than just Christmas Day. For example, having the grandkids over to decorate the Christmas tree and a nice kids dinner. Putting these days on the calendar now.
I love love love the “want, need, wear, read” list! My husband thought it was silly at first, but when he saw how quickly I blew through my shopping list and how diverse his gifts were, he agreed to do the same for the kids and me. I also added an “edible” category, but it doesn’t fit the rhyme.
LOVE this, SO glad to hear!!!! (love that you add an edible category, too!)
What about "want, need, wear, eat, read". 😊
How about "Want, need, wear, read & feed"? you're welcome 😂
Haha I like that add-on
We're doing an expanded version of that. Want, need, wear, read, to do, for me, and family. To do is the experience, for me is a keepsake ornament for their own tree as an adult and family is a family game or something.
When my husband was alive it wasn't Christmas to him unless our child had a ton to open..I didn't feel that way but would get sucked in..After he died, when she was 10, that first Christmas, we were not that into the Christmas. We did our normal Christmas Eve, Eve with friends at a Waterpark, and then we stayed at the hotel until Xmas day when we went to the same friends per usual at their house. We did a few small gifts in the hotel, and went out to Christmas Eve lunch at this great restaurant, found a mug that reminded me of my late Aunt, just screamed her and made me smile. I bought the mug. The next year we really liked what we did and not dealing with tons of presents. I had always noticed that she got tired out and overwhelmed as a young child with all the gifts. So to wrap up, we exchange a few small presents, go out to lunch at the same restaurant etc. We spend on experiences not stuff and I have to say it has been wonderful. We spend money on having people over, a regular new feature is all of her friends come over and we bake cookies. We spend time together, and enjoy friends. This year we have done away with presents for the adults, even better. Kids still get gifts. We also have a tradition where, I get our friends girls gifts from me(one girl is a book lover like me so that is how it started) and one gift from my daughter.
This channel is such a positive space! Dopamine hit!
I'm serious tho.
This is a wonderful place to be!☺
A suggestion that is extreme and effective is to explain WHY cutting back and how we need nothing. The kids were very accepting and more grateful for their gifts each.
We have been trying to implement a more simple approach to Christmas this year as well. We have a lot of extended family so, every year it would be so stressful knowing my kids gifts would literally fill up the back of our van! So, this year I sent out a text letting all of our family know that we had decided to ask that no one other than grandparents buy gifts for our kids, and in addition we wouldn't be buying for anyone other than our parents and our own children. I did add if someone was really hurt by this we asked that they give them the gift of TIME. Take them to a park, come over for a movie day,etc. It was received pretty well so, we will stick with this in future years. My kids were disappointed at first but, they got over it pretty quickly. We did downsize our gift giving to our kids this year ,but, will tackle that even more next year. As soon as I sent this text, I felt stress leave my body! I love the idea of simple living and have been trying to apply it to most aspects of our lives. Have a Merry Christmas !
We get our kids and ourselves a gift that we can use together later that day. This year everyone is getting ice skates so we can all go learn to skate. One year it was snowshoes, another nerf guns and we had a big "war" that afternoon, another year was sleeping bags for camping and we had a slumber party in them that night, etc. Other ideas include board games, movies, fun baking supplies, tennis rackets, art supplies, baseball gloves, snow tubes/sleds, skate boards, etc. The options are endless if you just get creative.
Thank you for the “Christmas Series”, I am really enjoying it!!!❤️
A few years ago our family felt a heavy burden to change how we do Christmas. We were becoming too materialistic and losing our focus on Jesus being the true reason for the season. Now we don't exchange Christmas gifts at all and it has been a wonderful breakthrough for us!
YAY, SO glad to hear this, THANK YOU for sharing!!!
That is so great to hear! Our family has gone through a similar experience.
I think for the most part we've tried to give about 3 gifts to each child in years past (we let that lead in to the reminder of baby Jesus receiving the 3 gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh and then talk about the nativity story...) - I like the idea of the "something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read," but I skip the "something u need" part cuz they always have what they need I think... and like you said, we have multiple get-togethers over the holidays and there will definitely be more gifts. I can say we definitely are into movies so we will definitely be watching "The Star" again - our whole family loves it!
I’m going to try “something they Want, something to Eat (fancy chocolate or Scooter coffee gift card, or whatever), something to wear, something to read” bc you’re right, my kids already have what they need
Our son was 5 last christmas and that's when we tried to scale back. My rule was to only give/buy things that I was certain he would play with, no fluff or filler stuff. He got a few things from us in two gift bags, and toys from santa in one sack. He was happy, we were happy, and we didn't go in to debt to do it. Just wish the rest of my family could get on board with the idea (although I did get my grandmother to make him a blanket in lieu of buying toys, and I'm pretty sure it's been used more than the toys would have been).
We probably spent a bit more than we would going forward, but we also try to save up or shop ahead for Christmas - sometimes starting as early as August when we know certain people will enjoy certain things.
We have been teaching our teenagers to try hard to stay debt free. It's not always easy. One of us lost a job so we told the kids we couldn't do it this year without going into debt. They all said, "Don't go into debt. We all have enough stuff." So we decided to do the secret Santa for a small amount of money and if money allows, we will go on a nature trip in the summer.
We went on a Pelee Island camping trip with all of the kids instead of buying birthday gifts for them this past year. They loved the family time out!
So many amazing helpful comments here. My wish for Christmas - to sit and have that coffee (Decaff and coconut milk please!!) with you. I love your videos. Always make time to watch them. So inspiring and you and Diana are so authentic. Big love from the UK to your family and wishing you a joy-filled and peaceful Christmas xx Rebecca
I think we scale back a little more each year :) About 2 years ago my (now) 8 year old started asking for experiences more than gifts on her own. It's amazing what kids want when they hear there are more options than a toy catalog.
Thank you for addressing this and all the tips! I was so excited when I saw this pop up this morning. ♡
My son and his wife downplay the Santa part as their emphasis is on Baby Jesus and the birth. So they open a gift a day. This allows the children play with or use their gifts without being overwhelmed with excess.
Love your ideas! I've heard of some but not all. So thanks!
Since most of the kids in our family are almost grown, we have a Chinese gift exchange or some call it a white elephant gift exchange. Everyone brings a funny $15 gift. It’s so fun and creates good memories. We just give the little ones a few small things because having to give up a gift can be upsetting. Last year the gift everyone fought over was a huge canister of raisinettes so it doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun. We love it. Gift giving as a game is awesome. Everyone gets something without breaking the bank! 😊 This game is probably on Pinterest somewhere. We just make sure the gifts are suitable for anyone in the group. Examples: food, movie passes or a toilet seat light would be fun! 😂
we've done the 4 gift rule since our son was 2. something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. way less stress each year!
Looking back I wish we had done more “experience” or vacation type Christmas gifts. Open up a bathing suit or a pair of flip flops.
But I REALLY love the adopt a family idea. :)
I think one clever idea I heard once was to do 3 gifts per person. They don’t have to be big. But to signify the three gifts the wise men gave to Jesus.
Yes, love the experience and three things ideas!!!
Yes! My dream is to head off on vacation for "gifts."
My favourite year for Christmas gifts was to swap out the gifts, for something very small, and then spend the remainder of our budget to go and see the "Mary Poppins" theatre production. My son was really angry to begin with. As it turned out, that was because he didn't know what to expect at the theatre and had never seen the movie, and whether it was a "good swap"! Half way through the first act he leaned over and said "This was a great idea Mum". They've not let me do this since though. LOL.
Love your videos, I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, they are so very helpful.
I get that same rush when you like or reply to my comments! Its an awesome feeling. I might be Pavlov's dog... lol. Totally worth it. :) I'm down for coffee together and talking Christmas presents if you're ever in my area!
We are in the process of downsizing. Our kids are adults and doing very well. When I look at the photos of the living room filled with toys for them, it makes me a bit sad. It was a great deal of time, effort and money. Their memories are of the food, movies, game time and visits from family. Trust me, put the money aside for college and focus on giving them memories.
It is soooooo on my heart to scale back. We have 5 kids..18, 16, 14, 13 and 11. When I pitched this idea my 14 yr old daughter started to cry. She LOVES Christmas. The lights, the season and the gifts. And honestly out of all of our kids, she's been the easiest 😂😂 so I feel bad.
I could see buying one gift. Per kiddo.. not 3. I don't want to. It's a mix of dealing with kids who are smack dab in the middle of puberty, and there is barely 2 words spoken to the hubs and I unless it's..can you...I want...when can we...
It's all just stuff, and I can't get her to understand 😫
So I have been watching your wonderful videos for a while now and have tried to simplify our house/life. It has helped tremendously in a lot of ways! One of the areas I'm still struggling with is keeping our small house clean. I'm not talking about dusting and mopping. But it seems that even the scaled back amount of things that we have end up everywhere very quickly! I think we have probably developed some bad habits of starting projects and not finishing them, Etc. Even things like art supplies. Do you have any motivational suggestions! even just telling me to put things back where they belong! I must have a mental block...;)
Another way to cut back is make gifts for the family. In addition make a visit to a nursing home, some residents do not have family or visitors and would love cookies, smiles and visits.
Yes and yes, LOVE these both!!!! :)
I love this idea.
We slowly scaled back over the years
i have never really had a problem with Christmas gifts, my oldest child always asks for a big gift like a xbox or a bike but we say to him thats not in our budget so he says it can be a joint birthday and Christmas gift as his birthday is on 23rd december so we agree to that and he is over the moon with his 1 gift. my middle child writes a letter to santa every year asking for new socks (and no he dont need them) he has just done this every year and gets up Christmas morning and gets so excited over a a couple of pair of socks from santa. i alway get him 1 or 2 clothing items that he may need or want like this year he has asked for a hoody. but again he is always happy and my youngest is very low function autism and he does not understand so i try and find 1 or 2 gift for him that would help him with his sensory needs that he has. we always have a happy and fun day and have never got in dept over Christmas this year my middle son wants to pick a tag of the wish tree and buy another child a gift :)
We are scaling back because 1: everyone else gives the kids way too much and 2: I started a pet food drive for rescues in the community and I have been buying food & other supplies along with the donations I receive. ❤️ it should really be about giving
I absolutely love this! We have incorporated this with our immediate family but not sure how to do this with our extended family or even if we should. Do you do this with extended family and if so how’d you introduce it?
Yes, it took a couple of years of Tom and I being the only ones not participating in the adult gift exchanges, but we finally have it pared down to where the kids draw names (so they each get one gift) and the adults don't do gifts...and it has been awesome!
Another fabulous video... Thank you!!!
We give four gifts for each kid.
A need, a want, a wear and a read!
I so wanted to go to music concerts this year and add that to the experience side of the holiday, but with younger kids and rural living, it isn't working out. I'm trying to stay positive...
When I was a kid, my parents were not big spenders. Not that they couldn’t afford it, but they were thrifty. I would go back to school and all my friends always got more and better stuff than me. Like for example when Cabbage Patch Kids came out, my mom has someone make me one. Everyone else got a real one. Mine was not the same and I knew it. At the age I was, I wasn’t able to appreciate that someone made it. It was a horrible feeling and I’ve never wanted my kids to feel that way. Plus, we don’t just buy them stuff during the year. They all have jobs and buy a lot for themselves. I don’t feel bad about it. We did discuss going on a vacation this year instead.
My kids are grown now. Santa only gave what could fit in their stockings. My reasoning was, I wanted credit for the “big” presents. As they got older, Santa morphed into each of us being “Santas” and we all put a gift, secretly, into each person’s stocking, parents included, that was a gift from Santa. We never told our kids there was no Santa. Somewhere along the way, came the realization that Santa was a personification of being a secret gift giver and we could all be Santa.
I always had an uncomfortable feeling giving lots of presents, which we couldn’t afford. We did though because we wanted them to have a nice Christmas. In my husband’s family he got lots of presents as a child. I grew up before credit cards and got few presents. My parents had to live within their means. I wanted my kids to have what i didn’t have. As they entered their teens, we gave far fewer presents and tried to give experiences instead. Now my son is marrying someone who loves buying lots of little presents, which I really don’t want. I’m trying to keep a somewhat uncluttered look in our home. I live overseas so don’t see them often. I’ll just have to box up her gifts and bring them out for their next visit. The problem is I feel pressured to reciprocate with lots of little presents. I hate buying useless stuff because it’s “cute”.
Gage is so stinking cute!
Hello from New Zealand. Love your ideas and inspiration x
Could you please do another wardrobe video for Winter and the other seasons. I am in Summer here. But I liked the other one without dresses as I don't wear dresses either.
Good question: The fall video is what I wear all winter, too, but I'll definitely do another in the spring!
We did scale back last year. Honestly, the kids were disappointed. If I remember correctly, we did 3 gifts from santa in remembrance of 3 gifts from the Magi. And from us, just stuff they needed and maybe a new outfit and one or two toys. Which actually sounds like a lot! But, I heard them ask, is this all? This is it? Plus they each got each other presents from the school Santa shop. It's very difficult. One of our children is very gift and thing oriented and always thinks he needs to have what all his friends have. Anyhow, it all sounds very ideal and idealistic.
This happened to my family too. We scaled back to 5 gifts and my kids were bitter. We prepped them weeks in advance that we were scaling back and gave all the pure and selfless reasons and they didn’t want to go along with any of it. And they still look back at that year and say “the year we got nothing for Christmas.” I feel like I failed 😭
I just realized how our Christmas is diferent than most people you are talking about! This is going to be long coment... But I have to answer youre Q how we do it! :-)
We ALWAYS bake cookies and cakes together for week ahead, we have BIG wide family lunch on Christmas day and the day after, we give each other one gift (never expensive bit very special for that person), kids get one "big" gift and a few small from us (usually things they need), in week after Christmas we long to meet with all neer friends and exchange gifts that are very personalized, not expensive and usually diy projects. Grandparents always ask what kids need so they will never buy something that wont be used. Only "present clutter" in our house are sweets... But that's somenthing in behaviour of our region ...
Love your channel!!! Thanks!!!
Great ideas wonderful !
you just do, scale back, and as they age the gifts bc more expensive, plus over 3 gifts our 11 year older is overwhelmed
In my family we share an online spreadsheet with names of all family members (brothers, sisters, aunts, nephews, brothers in law). And we are anonymously marking "x" by the name of family member when we have bought a present for him/her.
Before Christmas we're exchangeing presents, so they get under the right tree. In the end we are certain that every family member gets a present, and we can agree for example, that receveing 2-3 presents is OK, and more than 5 is unacceptable. So my children are getting as many presents as their cousins, so they are OK with this. And we are seeing each other at Christmas, so our children can see presents of their cousins, and play with them all day long.
We never went bonkers crazy on Christmas gifts but the 4 kids DID get around 10-12 gifts a piece every year. Maybe that IS bonkers crazy, idk. But when I was a kid I used to get about 30. And my mom still gives my kids a truck load of gifts. But a few years ago we explained to the kids we were going to do 5 gifts a piece, and instead have more family time and experiences and donate to others who need the help. I don’t know what I did wrong, but they were BITTER on Christmas Day. And anytime they bring up that year, they always say “remember that year we didn’t even get any Christmas presents?!” And I always have to correct them and say “no, you DID, you just got LESS.” I don’t indulge them in every whim and I don’t spoil them or make them go without. I try to make it about Jesus and we’ve never done Santa. It’s very discouraging 😕 I haven’t watched all the video yet so I’m looking forward to Dawns input.
This was what I just shared with my facebook friends and family: Our Minimal Christmas Gift: So what ARE we doing for a Christmas gift for our kids? Our extended family have the "openable gifts" MORE than covered! So, my husband and I are excited to do an experience gift this year. My boys are moderately interested in Santa. I'm not anti-Santa, nor do I encourage it. We are firm believers that our celebration revolves around the birth of Christ. But do I want my boys announcing to one-and-all that there is no Santa? Yikes - no. So, this year, Santa sent the kids a letter, and my oldest daughter played along beautifully. The letter said that this year, my husband and I talked with Santa and have decided on a big experience. Santa also sent them a box with 24 clues in 24 envelopes to open one each day. By Christmas morning, they will have their last "clue" revealing a big trip we will take as a family in February.
So the clues are very simple.
1. We are going on a trip
2. We will be gone 8 days
3. We are going to a different state... and so forth
My kids seem really excited about this. There wasn't even a hint of sadness in any of the 3. They are very eager for each clue and will not miss the extra pile of presents to overwhelm them.
I found out last week that when I was a kid we only got 2 gifts each. something to wear and something fun. I didn't even realize this as a kid. My kids are getting 3 this year one toy and two things they need. I have been scaling back a little every year so its not a sudden drop.
We do something you need and something to wear they get 3 things to wear and something they want and something to read we been devotionals for something to read ....
New sub here. I'm so happy I found your channel 😊
Welcome!!! I'm so glad to have found you!!! ;)
I have two small children and I thought, “okay, one from Santa, one from us, and one from each other.” But now, I’m getting texts from extended family about what to get my kids and thinking there is going to be a mountain of toys on Christmas. So, I’m thinking maybe they get one from Santa and some stocking stuffers and that’s it.
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With I could give this 3 likes because I love it!!!! Lol
Don’t know if this is talked about or not but how do you downsize Christmas decorations and ornaments on the tree
When our kids were young we did three presents like the wise men brought for Jesus. When they were older we set a price limit and they could either get gifts, cash, or a combination of the two.
Here in puerto rico we have christmas AND three kings day. So i basically give around 5 gifts (whatever price but try to keep a budget per kid) for christmas and one for 3 kigs fay sincd family members like grqndparents get them a fee gifts. Still i would love to scale back to like 3 for christmas and find it challenging... as i have commented before, my yougests (5 and 2) inherit the oldest one (15) things.., and some are in great conditions that i put them as christmas gifts. When they are small they dont even notice but the have grown to the idea of many gifts under the tree (and i cant lie, i love it too). Like... i have the gifts for this year already and found some books amd board game that thry can use now but they add to the number of gifts.... but at the end i dont mind... part are bought and part inherited... i like many gifts rather than one big one. My husband is the total opposite, but we were raised like that.. so we find a balance.
Love the idea of re-using the gifts! I think we should all be doing more of that!!
I remember the day we gifted the famous Buzz Light year... his face eas priceless, my oldest son was teary of happiness and we lauguing like mission accomplished.
Also for the oldest i bought some cake mix to bake with him... is like a funny gift but with purpose.
we don't really buy gift for each other in my family. I used to but stop bc it just another unless stuff that they didn't need. instead I gift my family what they need or cash so they can use it how they wish.
I don’t pretend Santa is real, because if I lie to my kids about him, why should they believe me about Jesus being real? I am trying to scale back gifts, too. Thank you!
So this is how we tackle this issue in our home. 1 - we use Christ as our example. Christ got three gifts so we follow the same example we give our children each three gifts. 2- we sit down with our kids and have an honest conversation with each one of them about what they really want. We go on to Amazon we look through lots of different things and we narrow it down to three. I thought that doing this would take the fun out of gift-giving. Actually if anything else it's done the opposite. They have a really good idea of what they are getting and they're so excited to receive them. So we just sit down with our kids and have an honest conversation about what they want and how much we are willing to spend on Christmas. By doing this it has helped us to meet in the middle. I understand that this is not an idea for everyone however this is worked for us. Thanks for reading, Carrie Spencer
I don't think you want 34k+ people sitting with you!😆
But yes, marketers are genius at trying to get you to spend money.
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2 gifts each child one from mummy one from daddy
I have never ever told my son that santa brings presents if hes good what a lie
My kids know that presents are from us. Santa a fills stockings with snacks
Same. Essentially, it mirrors what the world tells us, “all you have to do is be good (enough) and you’ll get your reward in the end (heaven).” Not how it works. If all you are in life is “good”, you’ll certainly get your reward in the end, but it definitely won’t be heaven.