Valentine's Day Pick Up Lines

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  • Опубліковано 12 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 137

  • @soul_asmr
    @soul_asmr 10 місяців тому +289

    was laughing my head off until the very end when I realized Ryan STILL CANT TELL a cucumber and zucchini apart!! deep cut throwback but its killed me

    • @iisoru
      @iisoru 10 місяців тому +2

      Me too whats the diffrence :-:

    • @soul_asmr
      @soul_asmr 10 місяців тому +6

      @@iisoru cucumber is a fruit closely related to melons - so it’s mostly water.
      A zucchini is a squash, so it’s a small pumpkin. They look similar but are completely different in taste and texture. Plus zucchini can also be yellow bc they’re squash. A zucchini you can eat raw or roast and sauté etc - a cucumber would turn into a mushy gloopy puddle. Plus a zucchini has a distinct cap/stem on one end, like a pumpkin stem. Cucumbers are just a cylinder

    • @ana-nim
      @ana-nim 8 місяців тому +4

      ​@@soul_asmr damn, we boiled cucumber at the house party once... it didn't turn into a puddle but it was so disgusting and for some reason smelled nasty

  • @joys2363
    @joys2363 10 місяців тому +146

    The world is SO much funnier with Toni & Ryan 😂😂😂
    Much love from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 ❤️

  • @mirjam058
    @mirjam058 10 місяців тому +102

    There's nothing like a good old Aussie accent in the morning 🥳

    • @lauraarvizu6809
      @lauraarvizu6809 10 місяців тому +7

      My Alexa has an Aussie accent she's darling ❤️

  • @Libbykyra12
    @Libbykyra12 10 місяців тому +29

    I actually adore you guys, even on my worst days you make me smile.
    “Do you know Madeline” sent me 😂

  • @Live4Talent
    @Live4Talent 10 місяців тому +180

    Tried using some of these pickup lines on my wife. She rolled her eyes. Looks like I’ll be needing that microwave for one cookbook soon 😂😂

  • @OzmaOfOzz
    @OzmaOfOzz 10 місяців тому +53

    God I love their humor and how they're always on the same page😂 their laughing is hysterical too 😂 I need friends like these 😭❤️😂

  • @HAppytobeHer
    @HAppytobeHer 10 місяців тому +45

    When Toni goes supersonic 😂😂😂

  • @sleeplessinscotland9394
    @sleeplessinscotland9394 10 місяців тому +33

    My dad would always claim his chat up line was “you don’t sweat much for a fat lassie” but considering mum didn’t just punch him and walk away I’m calling bullshit on that 😂

  • @stampandscrap7494
    @stampandscrap7494 10 місяців тому +19

    Been stuck in bed in pain for 3 weeks. You've just made today so much better.

    • @davidlean8674
      @davidlean8674 10 місяців тому +1

      Well give the poor girl her lingerie & toys back when you are finished with 'em 🙂

  • @fizismiz
    @fizismiz 10 місяців тому +41

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I don't know how to rhyme
    Donuts

  • @Alan_Hans__
    @Alan_Hans__ 10 місяців тому +22

    Sore cheeks from laughing now. Many of those pickup lines are pure gold.

  • @JayRTownsend96
    @JayRTownsend96 10 місяців тому +48

    Funniest pair on the internet 😂 always vibe with you both! Keep it up 😊

  • @ChunLily
    @ChunLily 9 місяців тому +2

    This match made of the prefect BFFs really makes me believe there is a higher power. ❤

  • @DKNyborg
    @DKNyborg 10 місяців тому +21

    "We didn't plan that...we didn't plan that" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @DrearyLaneTheatre
    @DrearyLaneTheatre 10 місяців тому +26

    Perfect timing, I was looking for something to listen to, and was about to give up on UA-cam and go listen to y'all's podcast instead lmao.

  • @casgallagher
    @casgallagher 6 місяців тому +1

    “I’m allowed to say it, it’s my old house” is so fcking funny, I can’t explain it.

  • @Highimkiki
    @Highimkiki 10 місяців тому +3

    I can not get enough of you guys! Id watch you guys talk about anything. I wish I could watch your full podcasts

    • @hollycumming
      @hollycumming 10 місяців тому +1

      You know they're free to watch on Spotify right?

    • @Highimkiki
      @Highimkiki 10 місяців тому +1

      @@hollycumming I just started listening to them on spotify. There are some videos but mostly audio.

  • @Just999Me
    @Just999Me 10 місяців тому +6

    These two are like the older cousins I never had. Especially when they do videos like these...I can't with them sometimes 🤣

  • @samfromthorne
    @samfromthorne 10 місяців тому +12

    Roses are red, that much is true.
    But violets are violet, and not fucking blue.

  • @samuel-tj2vz
    @samuel-tj2vz 10 місяців тому +18

    memo to myself: don't watch toni & ryan when you just ate breakfast. i laughed so hard my belly started hurting hahahha

  • @nadianadia3682
    @nadianadia3682 4 місяці тому

    8:18 "To yuck someone's yum" - never heard that phrase before, hilarious!

  • @Aqua_Toad
    @Aqua_Toad 10 місяців тому +1

    I've watched your shorts for a couple years... I'm finally watching a full video

  • @AgentMeech
    @AgentMeech 10 місяців тому +2

    better than any pods they’ve got here in the states🤣🤣 Subbed, Notied, and liking everything that comes out henceforth

  • @lisahastoknow5877
    @lisahastoknow5877 10 місяців тому +2

    Happy Valentines 💝 Toni and Ryan. Thank you for all the laughs. I love you both.

  • @jaa12344
    @jaa12344 10 місяців тому +3

    My love confession to you:
    How do I describe it.. it's like you reminded my body how wonderful it is to laugh hard on little things. I found you a few days ago and sincr than I am laughing so much more than the last month. You are fckn amazing!!!❤

  • @lilyfoster526
    @lilyfoster526 10 місяців тому +5

    yall give me so much joy

  • @StarGazerSkys
    @StarGazerSkys 10 місяців тому +8

    My friend Katarina wanted to ask out our other friend Bella and i told her to say this because she was really nervous. "Are you Skittles? Because I wanna taste your rainbow." She actually did it and now they are engaged 3 years later.

  • @terrip8451
    @terrip8451 10 місяців тому +3

    Listening while I cook breakfast for my children. Had to turn it down so fast and pop in my earbuds 🤣

  • @banditta5889
    @banditta5889 7 місяців тому

    “Not to yack anyone’s yum” bahahahahaha!!!! My new favourite saying 😂😂😂

  • @Haikuhiaku
    @Haikuhiaku 10 місяців тому +4

    The wheeze laugh kills

  • @ItsJenDaLette
    @ItsJenDaLette 10 місяців тому +1

    Omg because you'll be coming at midnight. That was perfect. Hahahaha.

  • @thejakker6369
    @thejakker6369 10 місяців тому +2

    Thats a "matter-daddy."
    Def gonna use that one!😊

  • @KimMcIntyre-ou1ew
    @KimMcIntyre-ou1ew 10 місяців тому +1

    Hey Toni & Ryan 🌹🌻🍃Cracking up at the Pick up lines 🤣Mate🌈🌴☀️🌊🌺✌️💚😎

  • @annie-sc
    @annie-sc 10 місяців тому +2

    8:21 I CAN'T 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @WriterOfMany
    @WriterOfMany 10 місяців тому +2

    10:13 .....👀 we actually do make milkshakes in the microwave 😂 ice cream, some milk, microwace for 0:12 to get it a bit softer, stir, and bam, milkshake

  • @mcculirae8069
    @mcculirae8069 10 місяців тому +1

    You guys are awesome .. also Toni , I love your shirt !

  • @nfra2
    @nfra2 10 місяців тому +9

    Madda Daddy 🤣🤣🤣... that'll do me!

  • @kimebopper
    @kimebopper 10 місяців тому +1

    You two are killing me 😂

  • @selcouthrae1095
    @selcouthrae1095 4 місяці тому +1

    My dad has a coin that was given to him by his older brother & it looks like a golden dollar but when you look close it's a woman on it n says heads, I win, tails you loose but I win 😂

  • @M_butterfly788
    @M_butterfly788 4 місяці тому

    “Do you know Madeleine?” Hahahahahaha 😄☺️!!

  • @dinkdinks5812
    @dinkdinks5812 10 місяців тому +4

    Unrelated but did you know Madeline was never an orphan, found that out the other day and my mind is still blown.

  • @stephaniewhite7512
    @stephaniewhite7512 10 місяців тому +12

    My small town Walmart once has a Valentine's gift table set up to make personalized balloons filled with treats. They had Bang energy drinks set up as a gift choice.. wanna Bang for Valentine's? 😂

  • @kkennii1171
    @kkennii1171 10 місяців тому +6

    Love the pick-up lines 😆 random side thought about vibrators: does anyone actually use all those 41 different vibrating patterns/speeds combinations? Because I'm willing to bet there's maybe a couple "that's my speed" and the rest are an absolute waste and a pain in the butt (no pun intended) to cycle through to get back to the right one lol (must've been engineered by a guy am I right? 😂)

    • @deltaloraine
      @deltaloraine 10 місяців тому

      No fr, they really should have them as separate buttons you can pick from instead of a cycle, bc it can really kill the moment trying to find the “right one” 😂

    • @lookslikeanangel
      @lookslikeanangel 10 місяців тому

      ​@deltaloraine mine has buttons to control the speed, pulse and thrust speed.

  • @Haoleguy808
    @Haoleguy808 10 місяців тому +4

    I love u guys!!!!

  • @pachimarie
    @pachimarie 10 місяців тому +1

    i cannot get over their cackling

  • @secretninja247
    @secretninja247 9 місяців тому +1

    You should buy the “microwave for one book” and test out the recipes 😂

  • @AndriaTheKobold
    @AndriaTheKobold 8 місяців тому

    Some of these had me laughing but when you guys did the "roses are red;" bits, I couldn't help but think of one of my own, except it's A, not sexy and B, I can't take credit for it sadly. 'Roses are red, that is their hue, but violets are purple, not fucking blue". AT ANY RATE I've been binge watching for the last day or so and so far haven't been disappointed once! Laughs and love from Maine, US

  • @benkenobi4937
    @benkenobi4937 10 місяців тому +9

    If it was a soft taco, would it be called "Labia tacora"?

  • @finestdime
    @finestdime 6 місяців тому

    I laughed harder than I shud have at the matter daddy 😂

  • @mamabearmckenzie5241
    @mamabearmckenzie5241 4 місяці тому

    If Toni is talking about the little orphan girl named Madeline i LOVED her❤

  • @Kay-ql2wl
    @Kay-ql2wl 10 місяців тому +3

    Excited to be here so early for a hilarious cheesy episode

  • @tigerz8174
    @tigerz8174 4 місяці тому

    Ryan to Toni: My wife does not like you getting my vienna sausage, but you snack on it before, during, after every show!!!

  • @dailymix9480
    @dailymix9480 10 місяців тому +1

    Love you so much!

  • @Crusty-Crab-Pizza
    @Crusty-Crab-Pizza 10 місяців тому +2

    Happy❤V❤Day!✨🫶✨

  • @sharonboot478
    @sharonboot478 10 місяців тому

    I just love you two and I love your relationship

  • @ericahenderson7262
    @ericahenderson7262 10 місяців тому

    I’ll be using that book.

  • @LoonaBolti
    @LoonaBolti 10 місяців тому +1

    Facebook had a Father's Day ad for fleshlights.

  • @mjrdainbramage
    @mjrdainbramage 10 місяців тому

    This was so cringe, and I love it!

  • @user-helloworld308
    @user-helloworld308 10 місяців тому +1

    God I love this chamnel😂

  • @katiegriffin2191
    @katiegriffin2191 10 місяців тому +4

    is there a video version of the podcast or is it audio only?

    • @ToniandRyan
      @ToniandRyan  10 місяців тому +6

      Only on Fridays you can WATCH for the podcast on the Spotify App or a Smart TV

    • @DKNyborg
      @DKNyborg 10 місяців тому +1

      Find the pod. Daily & worth the listen EVERY. DAY!

  • @misssagacious
    @misssagacious 9 місяців тому +1

    Best I’ve heard was: Happy Alentine’s Day!
    I’ll give you the V later!

  • @QueenTanni
    @QueenTanni 8 місяців тому

    Never do a dry taco! Lubrication is everything 😉

  • @HotMessExpress11291
    @HotMessExpress11291 10 місяців тому +2

    Roses are red
    True love is rare
    Booty, booty, booty, booty
    Rockin' everywhere

  • @daniellegonzales4223
    @daniellegonzales4223 10 місяців тому +1

    I love yall, you are hilarious.
    Can anyone answer if they are together, or just really great friends? I thought another video referred to other significant others, but I don't know for sure. Thanks to anyone who answers 😂❤❤

    • @heatherdavis7397
      @heatherdavis7397 10 місяців тому +4

      They are both married to other people.

    • @daniellegonzales4223
      @daniellegonzales4223 10 місяців тому

      @heatherdavis7397 ok thank you! ❤️

    • @lildesia2004
      @lildesia2004 10 місяців тому +1

      Ryan is actually the only married one! To a woman named Brigitte. Toni is in a 9-year relationship with a dude named Alex (goes by Taubs on the pod)

  • @krisa27
    @krisa27 10 місяців тому +3

    I was shocked to see the "share the love with your dad". Nakumatt is a Kenyan supermarket chain that went out of business some years back. Now imagine how much worse, standing with your strict African parents at the check out and the sign is in your face and you all have to pretend not to see it.

    • @ariadne0w1
      @ariadne0w1 10 місяців тому +2

      I am sure it was moved from another aisle for the laffs but that sure would not help if you were walking by with your parents.

  • @turquoisemama33
    @turquoisemama33 10 місяців тому

    I just started watching a John Denver video with Cass Elliot, I was hey that lady looks familiar, then I realized I was thinking of Toni...

  • @jamiecarter6722
    @jamiecarter6722 10 місяців тому +3

    Roses are red
    Violets are glorious
    Don’t creep up
    On Oscar pistorious

    • @wyzolma99
      @wyzolma99 10 місяців тому

      😂😂😂🌟

  • @mthead_creations
    @mthead_creations 10 місяців тому

    Tarrrrrrrr-ccccoooo 😂😂😂😂❤

  • @adamh.7940
    @adamh.7940 10 місяців тому +1

    MUM! A NEW TARP VIDEO DROPPED!

  • @kokos9652
    @kokos9652 6 місяців тому

    well if you need it, you have a coin... that's commitment :D

  • @yyoveltube
    @yyoveltube 10 місяців тому +1

    0:53 ok but why is poo censored?

  • @Tyranzor64
    @Tyranzor64 10 місяців тому +1

    That orphanage line was fucking gross, gonna need to remember that

  • @ChapstickRoan
    @ChapstickRoan 10 місяців тому +1

    my birthday is literally 2 days after v day

  • @kailahoagland1801
    @kailahoagland1801 10 місяців тому

    And the pancakes on the microwave book

  • @RichyWright
    @RichyWright 10 місяців тому +12

    Roses are red, violets are blue
    I'm schizophrenic and so am i

    • @gayfrogsociety
      @gayfrogsociety 10 місяців тому +2

      Thats not how schizophrenia works, that's MPD.

    • @RichyWright
      @RichyWright 10 місяців тому

      Schizophrenia- Confused thinking, unusual beliefs
      Also.... just a joke ya miserable ............

  • @AngryNerdBird
    @AngryNerdBird 10 місяців тому +2

    lmao

  • @philfry5
    @philfry5 10 місяців тому +2

    PLEASE tell me there will be a reaction to the UK woman falling into her window with her b**bs out!

  • @tracyhaupt9031
    @tracyhaupt9031 10 місяців тому +1

    Roses are red
    the sun gives off heat
    If your legs get tired
    Use my face as a seat

  • @BubblesMcGhee
    @BubblesMcGhee 10 місяців тому

    Simply awful! LMAO xoxox

  • @fannyphlapps
    @fannyphlapps 9 місяців тому

    😂😂😂 Valengine

  • @nikiTricoteuse
    @nikiTricoteuse 10 місяців тому

    Dammit. 0:55 I hate it when there's too much bleeping to guess what they're actually saying.

  • @dannyd493
    @dannyd493 10 місяців тому

    That's nothing. Did anyone see on the top left hand corner, where it says "share the love with your dad". 😂😂😂😂

  • @sweetnsoursusan
    @sweetnsoursusan 10 місяців тому

    Do you know Madeline....lmao, omg!

  • @lisaweir2969
    @lisaweir2969 10 місяців тому

    Cutest part is: ua-cam.com/users/clipUgkxC5nuj06u3IeDOjCclGlpzoGiFh2Q-sWQ?si=GEl4-PEPoHwBIUTR because of both of their spontaneous adorable faces :)

  • @sandram6665
    @sandram6665 10 місяців тому

    Does Ryan wife gets jealeous about this episode and their chemistry?

  • @jamaicanmelaughalot
    @jamaicanmelaughalot 10 місяців тому +1

    Madeline was not an orphan!
    She was at boarding school

  • @lf7184
    @lf7184 10 місяців тому +1

    😂😅😂😅❤😂😅😂😅

  • @HybridSpektar
    @HybridSpektar 10 місяців тому

    So are these two together or just really good friends?

  • @StaceyMissMay
    @StaceyMissMay 10 місяців тому

    Do you know Madeline? 😂

  • @croned2
    @croned2 10 місяців тому

    No one addreases the bareback next to the sign

  • @ZMS463
    @ZMS463 10 місяців тому +1

    Ryan grew up in an orphanage?

  • @fayeflawless9564
    @fayeflawless9564 9 місяців тому

    Hey my name is Faye Michelle- Faye Shelle

  • @Mugelbbub16
    @Mugelbbub16 10 місяців тому

    7:01 One of my exes got me this gift because he thought I was flirting with other guys...
    FYI: DO NOT let the "face mask gel" get in your eyes, it got in mine and at first it was just tingly but then it started to congeal and IT BURNED LIKE HELL- ex didn't even feel bad, he's like; that's what you get!
    It's been years since then and he still tries to talk to me like that shjt didn't happen ntm he's married with kids😒

  • @supermangarritano6636
    @supermangarritano6636 10 місяців тому

    ❤️💜🩷🤍❤️💜🩷🤍

  • @Pagan_999
    @Pagan_999 10 місяців тому

    😂😂😂😂

  • @shellyoss8754
    @shellyoss8754 10 місяців тому

    🤣🤣👌🏻👌🏻

  • @sickntired553
    @sickntired553 10 місяців тому +1

    You're a couple c'mon

  • @Black.Haired.Raven1
    @Black.Haired.Raven1 10 місяців тому

    😂

  • @jessicacarter1714
    @jessicacarter1714 5 місяців тому

    What do you mean???? Y'all don't have coins???

  • @helenellsworth9556
    @helenellsworth9556 10 місяців тому +2

    Cash is king, keep using it you know the saying, use it or lose it