Hi My son was on the spectrum and found maintaining friendships really difficult. Sadly he took his life ten months ago. He was a real battler. His motto was “ Live life for the moneys you can’t put into words”. Keep trying. You are doing amazing reaching out. Bless you on your journey.
Hello Sue, I was greatly sadened to hear the news you so bravely shared. Life is tough but with Autism it's a little hrader to navigate. I really hope that you keep hold of the happier moments you shared as mother and son. Big hug. All the best.
Hi Josh, been watching you since your first upload. Can relate to so many of your experiences. I was diagnosed with autism a few months ago at age 38. I still don't fully comprehend, and at times think they got it wrong, but the more I learn about aspergers/level 1 autism, the more I see how the pieces of my very confusing life are starting to come together. I have a sense of peace now and feel less alone. I'm glad that you're exploring and learning more about yourself. I hope you find peace and joy in your own journey.
Josh, I really appreciate your honesty in stating how you feel. I hope you get some answers as to why you do certain things you do and maybe it is Autism. I was diagnosed with Autism at around age 40, so it was a late diagnosis. It certainly explained a lot about myself and why I had struggled throughout my life. I just a few months ago found out more specifically why I am Autistic and that is due to a SetD5 gene mutation. Sometimes we find out later in life things about ourselves that we never thought we would. Anyway, keep fighting the good fight. Enjoy seeing your growth happen here on UA-cam. Take Care. ☺🤗
Hey Josh, kudos to you dude for moving forward with everything man, you are extremely more upbeat, and I do see a big difference in you from months back, I am so proud of you for the motivation you have accomplished my friend, as always stay safe and sending positive vibes from Arkansas !!!
You're a good man, Josh. Friends... when it comes to friends, quality is important, not quantity... or so I've found in my life. Thanks for sharing your journey. I wish you happiness, man. PS, your sound is perfect, nice and clear and I like your camera angle too. 👍
This is quite the plot twist, although watching your videos I was asking to myself if perhaps you might be neurodivergent as well. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD although I thought I was more in the autistic spectrum due to many social 'differences' I've encountered throughout all my life, and the overwhelming feeling of not fitting or things not being enough. Even if I could keep some friendships, I could only count them with one hand; and even then, the feeling of not fitting entirely persisted. It always was really hard to entirely connect and relate at a deeper level with other people, not to mention how rigid I've always been with routines that proved to work for me. But I think the most soul-crushing thing for me has always been the lack of romantic/sexual experiences. Like I don't know what are they like since I haven't had the right opportunities regarding them, and starting to see that maybe those social and executive differences could've been the things hindering my chances was something that, at some point, made sense and pushed me to look forward a diagnosis. It happened that ADHD can create those challenges as well, just in a different way. Since that diagnosis, I've been in a state of denial, but now I'm realising that yes: many of my behaviours and the way I performance in everything are stereotypically ADHD and part of being neurodivergent. For someone being gay, this process has felt so far like a second coming out and self-accepting journey; but I'm happier overall because I'm starting to understand things about myself and to find explainations to so many questions I couldn't answer before. This is long, so I'll wrap it up: I'm very content that you're doing yourself these questions as well, and that you're finding the answers I know you desperately need. Even if you end up not being in the spectrum, realize that you're unique and it's okay to be different even if in the common dialogue in these days people want us to hide again. I'm very glad for you!
I received my autism diagnosis (as a woman) at 31, after spending my entire life thinking I only suffered from social anxiety. I still have social anxiety but the autism diagnosis makes so much sense, now I really understand why I feel the way I feel in certain situations like loud environments, too many people, can't eat certain foods because of textures, having that "resting bitch face" you talk about, etc.
As a social worker I am seeing more and more children and adults being diagnosed with autism. At this point the spectrum is SO BROAD that I think what is considered "normal" may actually be abnormal and those on the spectrum may be the majority and eventually considered "normal." Part of this makes me wonder if this is less with people being on a spectrum as much as it is us losing a true community IRL in which we are more confident in our connections with others and feeling more isolated and thus thinking we are alone in our mental battles.
Josh: You are making good progress, especially when you reach out to understand what's happening with your life. It's true that asperger's and others on the spectrum do have to study the body language of others, since learning it in early life is not automatic for them. Not feeling good in some clothes because of tactile stimulation is also a sign of asperger's. Keeping to a routine or schedule can be a sign of asperger's, especially if you find it difficult to change from that routine when it's necessary for some reason. It's true that these signs each singly don't indicate anything on the spectrum. But taken together, they do show there is a definite possibility of asperger's or another facet of the spectrum. It's good that you are now going through the process of evaluation with someone who can do it professionally. Not only will this give you peace of mind in knowing what the actual issue(s) is, but this therapist can also give you strategies to deal with things so they don't bother you or make you anxious. I'm happy to see you are doing so well, Josh. Know that I care about you and pray for you always. Take care and God bless.
Ahhh yeah the interacting part in social settings. We've heard the saying, 'just be ourselves'...sure, but I like to be set-up and ready for that interaction (like dressed well, smiling, eyes open and not looking tired). I try to be ready with updates about myself if I show up at networking events, so I seem interesting to others but more importantly, I have great experiences and accomplishments about myself that I am proud of and can share to others.
Hey Josh. I enjoyed your update. Made me smile. Seems like you are in a good place and able to see why. I don't think you rambled. You were just unscripted and natural. It is helpful to hear about "masking" from your experience It was honest and open and good to see. Your friends are lucky to have you. I am happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
I have two autistic friends. They can be challenging at times. However, I am patient and appreciate the friendship. Good people and worth the time associating just have to not take everything personally. The more I understand what motivates my friends the better the relationship gets!
Living Life! Love it man! Yes, I like the video game example with friends you mentioned. This is how I see it too - it's social time with them, even if it's just an hour. You are together that counts. And doing the things that you fear or insecure, I'm working on it. I do like to plan and think ahead like you before I make a decision...I'm all about balance (Libra here). Definitely heard "Josh" time for yourself in this video...
I am so proud of you Josh and cried a little because you are like a mirror of myself. I have masked my AuDHD my whole life and no one ever suspected it and even friends said I hide it so well to "fit in". Once I had talk therapy I realised that being different was completely fine. And then after that I realised the friends I already had - had similar problems, so unknowing to myself I had already surrounded myself with people who were identical to me 😅 I believe if you now know or just acknowledge if you may have it - you will find people who are so similar to you and those friendships will last for life! Well done!!!
Always enjoy your videos. I can relate to so many of your life observations and experiences. Thanks for sharing and it’s comforting to know that other people see the world in a similar way.
I think it's great if you can do anything to make yourself feel more comfortable in your own skin--whether that's literal, in the case of your clothes--or with understanding your social interactions. So, good for you for continuing to do that work. Otherwise, I'm very happy for you that everything else is going so well! I can relate to some of the examples you talked about, but frankly most people I know are even more socially awkward than I am, so I haven't worried too much about it. Thanks for the update!
Yes I wanted to tell that once, I had that gut feeling, But felt it would be very tactless doing so, as I could just have been wrong and led you further down the rabbit hole :)
This may not be a popular opinion but I truly feel that because we live in a very socialized society (as opposed to our ancestors who lived in smaller social circles or rural areas) we are basically forced to acclimate to an extroverted world when your nature may just be more quiet, introverted, private, reserved, etc. I also think we are so quick to label everyone today with things like ocd, adhd, autism, and I think it's really overused these days. It's ok to be different. There is no such thing as normal, that's an illusion. Different personality traits are ok, even if they go against the grain of what is perceived as "social" or "normal" or "extrovert". Just embrace your personality traits and try not to feel the need to change yourself or label yourself. Also, older people who barely spoke or were reserved, quiet etc. in many eras throughout history were usually regarded as the intelligent & wise ones who many would seek out for spiritual guidance or life advice like the mystics or the old wise men.
i have many friends and ADHD and anxiety. Its just a sensation and as far as my friends and i have a sense of loniness. It's not healthy. I had a sense of my chronic pain and loniness and it makes it worse. So social intersection helps the pain. If that makes sense, I try not to overwhelm my self day to day.
@@gschock201 thank you, man! The watch is a Nothing CMF Pro 2 that my wife bought me! I stopped using my Apple Watch, this one lasts 11 days on one charge. Nothing is a really cool brand us.nothing.tech/products/cmf-watch-pro-2
@JoshHitti oof. Long story. Short version is, I've always been very neurotic, very introverted, don't form relationships easily, friends or otherwise, and I isolate myself to an extreme. When I watched the show "Dating on a Spectrum", I kinda related, but obviously not to that extreme. I can't really do "friend groups" I can kind of only do one friend at a time. There's a lot. Sent you a DM I think btw
Mr. Josh, I left a comment I think over your last video, which may have been taken with felt-need of defense by you, but was given with honest caring. So, here we go again. This has gone on in you for years with more excuses than change. You are a handsome man with a wife, and successful career. This makes potential friends feel awkward around you, and your drivenness pushes "regular people" away, who are your best potential friends. You need to stop analyzing yourself and everyone around you judgmentally. I'm 73, and when young was trained to believe I was incapable compared to others, so I believed I was, and therefore, was. My story is long, so I will only give the nutshell version here. I was bullied, ridiculed, mocked, put down condescendingly by everyone. Resultingly, in my early 20's, I had a breakdown, and went to a Psychologist (who became one after a breakdown), that simply said "Your problem isn't you, it's everyone around you". I forced myself to go away, panic attacks and all, got a College Art History degree with a 4.0 average, but could not go on to use it. So, I went to a big city, Wash,DC, got a job. Mocked as a mid-west bumpkin, as I made money, I studied people well-groomed, well-dressed, refined character, all which I brought out in me. I changed the motto "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em", to "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em,", and I did., by being "me". People were drawn to me, interesting amazing people. I found fascinating friends and a fascinating life unfolded. Think about it. Who are the most interesting intriguingly attractive people? Not the ones that try to look, act, and be like everyone else, or expect others to be like them, but the ones who dress, style their hair, do and be the most conducively enhancing within their own natural unique "signature" being. I ended up literally knowing hippies to exiled royalty friends, lived in a jungle hut, invited to embassy and yacht parties, knew poor people to multi-billionaires, etc. I was raised to be so afraid of human touch that I would tremble for weeks from a hand-pat on the shoulder. To face and fight it, I got a massage, launching me healingly into getting about 24 certificates and certifications in Natural Healing, excelled and saved lives. Around age 48, I met a man who wanted to be my friend. He was 11 years younger, and self-trained in his basement to at age 23 win a National Physique Contest. I felt a friendship with him was impossible, but it none-the-less, despite us being outwardly totally different, there was "an inner connection", and our friendship was solid within 2 weeks of first meeting. Although as many things in my life that I did, it had seemed impossible, for, in High School physical fitness national test, I had the worst softball throw in the whole U.S. He did not care at all, and fitness-trained me thoroughly in a month to have a (according to comments) 'Look but don't touch body". (25 years later, he and his wife are now 1,00 miles away, but he and I are still contact friends). In High School, my English and Literature teachers tried to flunk me. In College, I wrote one poem and won recognition and placement in a national college representation book. I've since written an 1,100 page historical novel and other works not yet published, just because I wanted to, for me, if no one else. And there is much more. The point here is, I still have things I was unable to overcome, but I did a long list of things against imagined impossible odds and expectations. But, at 73, all those "accomplishment" things that then seemingly mattered so much, are now meltingly fading or gone or unremembered. People that care about you matter most, then health, then enough money to live. Thats it. Careers and people-pleasing of strangers, is a waste of time. My biggest regret I'm deeply frustratingly ashamed of now is the people I brushed off or didn't want to be "associated with" while insecurely wanting acceptance and success. It was stupidly wrong of me, and now I can't fix it. You need to stop striving for what you don't have and rejecting people who are not like you and making excuses for it. Your list of restrictions for friendship is depriving you of it. Your life is nearly half gone, and passes faster every year. Stop wasting life, and enjoy the little of it we can. Everyone can't be attractive, successful, etc., in all outer ways. A wise author once told me that people who write "rags to riches" stories don't get it, as the everyday common average person is the most interesting storybook. Figure it out already, without trendy preposterous phantom excuses for not having it. Also, Again, friends can't be "made", only found. PEACE John J. Hvozda
What a small minded comment. Its not about labels its about understanding YOURSELF or how to thrive in "normal" situations. To make yourself feel comfortable when you dont understand social situations. You dont have it so dont comment on it.
I’m happy for you and you deserve it 100000000%. I totally understood what you meant about the body language because I do that myself… sometimes you just feel awkward because you are hyper-analyzing your movements and how you think you are being perceived by other people. I am finding that a lot of life is just coming as you are and letting the chips fall where they may, which isn’t often a bad place. It’s a challenge to put that attitude into practice on a regular basis, but we try 💁🏻♂️. Also, what brand of clothes are you wearing? I know you are married but I have to say, you look incredible in the tank tops from that brand. 🫢😍
dood fevry1 bra, evry1 just start thorwng labels @ u. most peep r trash, fdis fng lyfe, fevry1, fdis, my entire lyfe has been suffng. tired of fihgtng fyall
Hey everyone - Thanks for watching, looking forward to hearing about your experiences. Apologies for the upload quality. 🥔📱
Hi My son was on the spectrum and found maintaining friendships really difficult. Sadly he took his life ten months ago. He was a real battler. His motto was “ Live life for the moneys you can’t put into words”. Keep trying. You are doing amazing reaching out. Bless you on your journey.
Hello Sue, I was greatly sadened to hear the news you so bravely shared. Life is tough but with Autism it's a little hrader to navigate. I really hope that you keep hold of the happier moments you shared as mother and son. Big hug. All the best.
Sue, I'm so very sorry for your loss. God Bless you and your family.🙏🏼
Hi Josh, been watching you since your first upload. Can relate to so many of your experiences. I was diagnosed with autism a few months ago at age 38. I still don't fully comprehend, and at times think they got it wrong, but the more I learn about aspergers/level 1 autism, the more I see how the pieces of my very confusing life are starting to come together. I have a sense of peace now and feel less alone. I'm glad that you're exploring and learning more about yourself. I hope you find peace and joy in your own journey.
Josh, I really appreciate your honesty in stating how you feel. I hope you get some answers as to why you do certain things you do and maybe it is Autism. I was diagnosed with Autism at around age 40, so it was a late diagnosis. It certainly explained a lot about myself and why I had struggled throughout my life. I just a few months ago found out more specifically why I am Autistic and that is due to a SetD5 gene mutation. Sometimes we find out later in life things about ourselves that we never thought we would. Anyway, keep fighting the good fight. Enjoy seeing your growth happen here on UA-cam. Take Care. ☺🤗
I was diagnosed AuDHD last year at 55. It's such an amazing process reframing your whole life.
real and authentic keep posting man, looking forward to your videos
Hey Josh, kudos to you dude for moving forward with everything man, you are extremely more upbeat, and I do see a big difference in you from months back, I am so proud of you for the motivation you have accomplished my friend, as always stay safe and sending positive vibes from Arkansas !!!
Thanks for the support, Rick! Always enjoy seeing you here
@JoshHitti you're very welcome man, so enjoy your journey and keep your head up, stay safe!!!
You're a good man, Josh. Friends... when it comes to friends, quality is important, not quantity... or so I've found in my life. Thanks for sharing your journey. I wish you happiness, man. PS, your sound is perfect, nice and clear and I like your camera angle too. 👍
This is quite the plot twist, although watching your videos I was asking to myself if perhaps you might be neurodivergent as well. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD although I thought I was more in the autistic spectrum due to many social 'differences' I've encountered throughout all my life, and the overwhelming feeling of not fitting or things not being enough. Even if I could keep some friendships, I could only count them with one hand; and even then, the feeling of not fitting entirely persisted. It always was really hard to entirely connect and relate at a deeper level with other people, not to mention how rigid I've always been with routines that proved to work for me. But I think the most soul-crushing thing for me has always been the lack of romantic/sexual experiences. Like I don't know what are they like since I haven't had the right opportunities regarding them, and starting to see that maybe those social and executive differences could've been the things hindering my chances was something that, at some point, made sense and pushed me to look forward a diagnosis.
It happened that ADHD can create those challenges as well, just in a different way. Since that diagnosis, I've been in a state of denial, but now I'm realising that yes: many of my behaviours and the way I performance in everything are stereotypically ADHD and part of being neurodivergent. For someone being gay, this process has felt so far like a second coming out and self-accepting journey; but I'm happier overall because I'm starting to understand things about myself and to find explainations to so many questions I couldn't answer before.
This is long, so I'll wrap it up: I'm very content that you're doing yourself these questions as well, and that you're finding the answers I know you desperately need. Even if you end up not being in the spectrum, realize that you're unique and it's okay to be different even if in the common dialogue in these days people want us to hide again. I'm very glad for you!
I received my autism diagnosis (as a woman) at 31, after spending my entire life thinking I only suffered from social anxiety. I still have social anxiety but the autism diagnosis makes so much sense, now I really understand why I feel the way I feel in certain situations like loud environments, too many people, can't eat certain foods because of textures, having that "resting bitch face" you talk about, etc.
As a social worker I am seeing more and more children and adults being diagnosed with autism. At this point the spectrum is SO BROAD that I think what is considered "normal" may actually be abnormal and those on the spectrum may be the majority and eventually considered "normal."
Part of this makes me wonder if this is less with people being on a spectrum as much as it is us losing a true community IRL in which we are more confident in our connections with others and feeling more isolated and thus thinking we are alone in our mental battles.
Josh: You are making good progress, especially when you reach out to understand what's happening with your life. It's true that asperger's and others on the spectrum do have to study the body language of others, since learning it in early life is not automatic for them. Not feeling good in some clothes because of tactile stimulation is also a sign of asperger's. Keeping to a routine or schedule can be a sign of asperger's, especially if you find it difficult to change from that routine when it's necessary for some reason.
It's true that these signs each singly don't indicate anything on the spectrum. But taken together, they do show there is a definite possibility of asperger's or another facet of the spectrum. It's good that you are now going through the process of evaluation with someone who can do it professionally. Not only will this give you peace of mind in knowing what the actual issue(s) is, but this therapist can also give you strategies to deal with things so they don't bother you or make you anxious.
I'm happy to see you are doing so well, Josh. Know that I care about you and pray for you always. Take care and God bless.
Ahhh yeah the interacting part in social settings. We've heard the saying, 'just be ourselves'...sure, but I like to be set-up and ready for that interaction (like dressed well, smiling, eyes open and not looking tired). I try to be ready with updates about myself if I show up at networking events, so I seem interesting to others but more importantly, I have great experiences and accomplishments about myself that I am proud of and can share to others.
Hey Josh. I enjoyed your update. Made me smile. Seems like you are in a good place and able to see why. I don't think you rambled. You were just unscripted and natural. It is helpful to hear about "masking" from your experience It was honest and open and good to see. Your friends are lucky to have you. I am happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
I think you have made incredible progress mate. You should definitely be proud of yourself👊🏼
You are clearly intelligent and thoughtful.
@@RaymondZiviski thanks Raymond, that’s really kind of you to say
I have two autistic friends. They can be challenging at times. However, I am patient and appreciate the friendship. Good people and worth the time associating just have to not take everything personally. The more I understand what motivates my friends the better the relationship gets!
Living Life! Love it man! Yes, I like the video game example with friends you mentioned. This is how I see it too - it's social time with them, even if it's just an hour. You are together that counts. And doing the things that you fear or insecure, I'm working on it. I do like to plan and think ahead like you before I make a decision...I'm all about balance (Libra here). Definitely heard "Josh" time for yourself in this video...
I am so proud of you Josh and cried a little because you are like a mirror of myself. I have masked my AuDHD my whole life and no one ever suspected it and even friends said I hide it so well to "fit in". Once I had talk therapy I realised that being different was completely fine. And then after that I realised the friends I already had - had similar problems, so unknowing to myself I had already surrounded myself with people who were identical to me 😅
I believe if you now know or just acknowledge if you may have it - you will find people who are so similar to you and those friendships will last for life!
Well done!!!
Also I was diagnosed at 26yrs old. So its never to late but I needed the diagnosis to get appropriate help for university.
Always enjoy your videos. I can relate to so many of your life observations and experiences. Thanks for sharing and it’s comforting to know that other people see the world in a similar way.
I think it's great if you can do anything to make yourself feel more comfortable in your own skin--whether that's literal, in the case of your clothes--or with understanding your social interactions. So, good for you for continuing to do that work. Otherwise, I'm very happy for you that everything else is going so well! I can relate to some of the examples you talked about, but frankly most people I know are even more socially awkward than I am, so I haven't worried too much about it. Thanks for the update!
You´re an extremly reflective dude. Just like me, watch out for that too, you think alot!
Nice to see your recent video Josh!! Sounds like you're making progress!! Was wondering where your dog was and he/she made a quick appearance!!
Great to see your progress. Agree that sometime living is better than thinking ❤ keep posting videos pls
Yes I wanted to tell that once, I had that gut feeling, But felt it would be very tactless doing so, as I could just have been wrong and led you further down the rabbit hole :)
I can relate to this a lot. I also noticed with social anxiety a lot of people feel like this even without being neurodivergent/on the spectrum.
Thanks for the video! Stay safe brother.
This may not be a popular opinion but I truly feel that because we live in a very socialized society (as opposed to our ancestors who lived in smaller social circles or rural areas) we are basically forced to acclimate to an extroverted world when your nature may just be more quiet, introverted, private, reserved, etc. I also think we are so quick to label everyone today with things like ocd, adhd, autism, and I think it's really overused these days. It's ok to be different. There is no such thing as normal, that's an illusion. Different personality traits are ok, even if they go against the grain of what is perceived as "social" or "normal" or "extrovert". Just embrace your personality traits and try not to feel the need to change yourself or label yourself. Also, older people who barely spoke or were reserved, quiet etc. in many eras throughout history were usually regarded as the intelligent & wise ones who many would seek out for spiritual guidance or life advice like the mystics or the old wise men.
Way to go Josh!
i have many friends and ADHD and anxiety. Its just a sensation and as far as my friends and i have a sense of loniness. It's not healthy. I had a sense of my chronic pain and loniness and it makes it worse. So social intersection helps the pain. If that makes sense, I try not to overwhelm my self day to day.
Thx for update
Nice video and congrats on your great progress 😀💪
Just out of curiousity, what smartwatch are you wearing in the video? 🙂
@@gschock201 thank you, man! The watch is a Nothing CMF Pro 2 that my wife bought me! I stopped using my Apple Watch, this one lasts 11 days on one charge. Nothing is a really cool brand
us.nothing.tech/products/cmf-watch-pro-2
@ Thank you very much for the info. Will def be checking it out 😀👍 Looking forward to your next update 🙂♥️
9:16 same, lol
I suspect I might be somewhere on some kind of spectrum lol.
Hey dude! What makes you think that?
@JoshHitti oof. Long story. Short version is, I've always been very neurotic, very introverted, don't form relationships easily, friends or otherwise, and I isolate myself to an extreme. When I watched the show "Dating on a Spectrum", I kinda related, but obviously not to that extreme. I can't really do "friend groups" I can kind of only do one friend at a time. There's a lot. Sent you a DM I think btw
which games you play on your switch?
So handsome,the spectrum guys are so handsome 😮
Mr. Josh, I left a comment I think over your last video, which may have been taken with felt-need of defense by you, but was given with honest caring. So, here we go again. This has gone on in you for years with more excuses than change. You are a handsome man with a wife, and successful career. This makes potential friends feel awkward around you, and your drivenness pushes "regular people" away, who are your best potential friends. You need to stop analyzing yourself and everyone around you judgmentally. I'm 73, and when young was trained to believe I was incapable compared to others, so I believed I was, and therefore, was. My story is long, so I will only give the nutshell version here. I was bullied, ridiculed, mocked, put down condescendingly by everyone. Resultingly, in my early 20's, I had a breakdown, and went to a Psychologist (who became one after a breakdown), that simply said "Your problem isn't you, it's everyone around you". I forced myself to go away, panic attacks and all, got a College Art History degree with a 4.0 average, but could not go on to use it. So, I went to a big city, Wash,DC, got a job. Mocked as a mid-west bumpkin, as I made money, I studied people well-groomed, well-dressed, refined character, all which I brought out in me. I changed the motto "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em", to "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em,", and I did., by being "me". People were drawn to me, interesting amazing people. I found fascinating friends and a fascinating life unfolded. Think about it. Who are the most interesting intriguingly attractive people? Not the ones that try to look, act, and be like everyone else, or expect others to be like them, but the ones who dress, style their hair, do and be the most conducively enhancing within their own natural unique "signature" being. I ended up literally knowing hippies to exiled royalty friends, lived in a jungle hut, invited to embassy and yacht parties, knew poor people to multi-billionaires, etc. I was raised to be so afraid of human touch that I would tremble for weeks from a hand-pat on the shoulder. To face and fight it, I got a massage, launching me healingly into getting about 24 certificates and certifications in Natural Healing, excelled and saved lives. Around age 48, I met a man who wanted to be my friend. He was 11 years younger, and self-trained in his basement to at age 23 win a National Physique Contest. I felt a friendship with him was impossible, but it none-the-less, despite us being outwardly totally different, there was "an inner connection", and our friendship was solid within 2 weeks of first meeting. Although as many things in my life that I did, it had seemed impossible, for, in High School physical fitness national test, I had the worst softball throw in the whole U.S. He did not care at all, and fitness-trained me thoroughly in a month to have a (according to comments) 'Look but don't touch body". (25 years later, he and his wife are now 1,00 miles away, but he and I are still contact friends). In High School, my English and Literature teachers tried to flunk me. In College, I wrote one poem and won recognition and placement in a national college representation book. I've since written an 1,100 page historical novel and other works not yet published, just because I wanted to, for me, if no one else. And there is much more. The point here is, I still have things I was unable to overcome, but I did a long list of things against imagined impossible odds and expectations. But, at 73, all those "accomplishment" things that then seemingly mattered so much, are now meltingly fading or gone or unremembered. People that care about you matter most, then health, then enough money to live. Thats it. Careers and people-pleasing of strangers, is a waste of time. My biggest regret I'm deeply frustratingly ashamed of now is the people I brushed off or didn't want to be "associated with" while insecurely wanting acceptance and success. It was stupidly wrong of me, and now I can't fix it. You need to stop striving for what you don't have and rejecting people who are not like you and making excuses for it. Your list of restrictions for friendship is depriving you of it. Your life is nearly half gone, and passes faster every year. Stop wasting life, and enjoy the little of it we can. Everyone can't be attractive, successful, etc., in all outer ways. A wise author once told me that people who write "rags to riches" stories don't get it, as the everyday common average person is the most interesting storybook. Figure it out already, without trendy preposterous phantom excuses for not having it. Also, Again, friends can't be "made", only found. PEACE John J. Hvozda
✊🔻🕊️🇵🇸🇱🇧🇸🇾🌍
Live life for the moments you can’t put in to words. Oops!
Why is your beard darker than your blonde hair lol
Genetics? Haha, my grandpa has blonde hair and a dark red beard. Probably from that side of the family 🤷🏼♂️
Josh - you're looking good man! 👍
Everyone in the world has autism and ADHD today. I really think people are going too far with these labels.
What a small minded comment. Its not about labels its about understanding YOURSELF or how to thrive in "normal" situations. To make yourself feel comfortable when you dont understand social situations. You dont have it so dont comment on it.
I’m happy for you and you deserve it 100000000%. I totally understood what you meant about the body language because I do that myself… sometimes you just feel awkward because you are hyper-analyzing your movements and how you think you are being perceived by other people. I am finding that a lot of life is just coming as you are and letting the chips fall where they may, which isn’t often a bad place. It’s a challenge to put that attitude into practice on a regular basis, but we try 💁🏻♂️.
Also, what brand of clothes are you wearing? I know you are married but I have to say, you look incredible in the tank tops from that brand. 🫢😍
dood fevry1 bra, evry1 just start thorwng labels @ u. most peep r trash, fdis fng lyfe, fevry1, fdis, my entire lyfe has been suffng. tired of fihgtng fyall