One of my therapist's favorite thing to say is "That's data!" when someone reacts to something I do or say when I'm being honest. The saying really disarms the emotion that could affect my mood about the situation.
I just broke up a month ago, my mind says it was the right decision but my heart is still too much involved emotionally. I want to learn to trust my mind because it wants me to feel safe in being myself 🌟
I understand I got out of a emotional abusive relationship or situationship it was short but it did give me PTSD so now I'm damaged. But I pray that you will be okay you're not alone I'm hurting with you 😔
I have been with my heart broken since July. But with Your videos, and try to be with myself, I am now like the song "I am litte bit hurt but a lot more free"
I'm so sorry you've been going through this, heartbreak is one of the hardest experiences we can go through. I'm happy the videos are helping, keep going there are brighter days ahead
It’s July for me too…today I woke up crying coz I had a dream of us breaking up. In my dream we were physically together and calling it quits. He seemed to be happy, but I was crying in my dream. Crying when I woke up too. We broke up over the phone. We didn’t really talk about it, we just did. It’s so painful…when will this stop??
Just lost my relationship of almost 4 years a few days ago. It happened so fast. She’s still talking and helping me, but accepting the fact that “us” is probably gone forever is what hurts the most. I’m taking the steps to finding myself again. The future is scary, but the only way to predict the future is to create it.
I’m also still recovering from a heartbreak from August. I used to wake u crying every day. It does get better but it’s a process. He disappeared on me several times during the three years we were together 😔. I have been watching Matthew’s videos for the last two+ years and they’ve really helped me to think about things. Each time we came back together it’s almost like nothing happened. I think the right person makes us feel safe and we feel secure. And I think we need to have a clear vision about what it is we want-always. Also, it’s in the difficult conversations we grow stronger with our partner and if s/he isn’t the right one, that is data.
It’s tough. I walked away but I didn’t want to. She has two young kids already. I wanted to add a third. I don’t have any. I get it, I can’t expect someone to carry a child if they don’t want to. It was just too painful for me to stay knowing I’d never share in the joys and pitfalls of full parenthood with her. I wish we were both more honest about it before getting engaged. So many lessons learned. It doesn’t mean I don’t love and miss her and her two kids. I do
And you were ready to take on her two kids too, that's why it hurts so much, however you know you want to be a dad to your own too, and if she wasn't willing to do that, good for you to know you cannot stay. When you meet the one who yiu are supposed to do all that with, this experience will be a blessing. Good luck to you, and it will get better.
@@KG-bliss thank you. Yes, I was more than ready to take on her kids. I romanticized all three kids growing up together. My heart was in the right place. I reached out today. Asked how she and the kids are doing. I know I shouldn’t have. She likely won’t write back and honestly, that’s likely the best thing to happen. I want to give in and go back (if I even can) but that’s not the way to go. I just need to find hope again.
Idk exactly what it was that Matthew said, but I feel like I can finally face and admit how unhappy and unsupported I felt in my last relationship. I’ve been blaming him for not seeing how good we were when our lives were normal and for not sharing the blame in the demise of our relationship. But now I see that I was so unhappy that I actually hated him at times. I wasn’t honest or vulnerable with him about how I was feeling and what I needed. I didn’t know how. I wasn’t able to speak up. I’m unsure, but I may have even sabotaged our relationship bc k didn’t know how to speak up or get out.
Thank you Matthew, this is such a helpful reminder to be authentic and show up as your true self & show your real life reality so you know if that person is going to be a good addition to your world or not. I have an autistic son and that may not be something everyone wants to include in their life but being unapologetically real and vulnerable with people is what I try to be about. Kind of this is me and my life …take it or leave it approach.
I understand- I’ve been on & off with someone because I was never prioritized. He came back & finally admitted that my intuition was true, while he did say when we reunited, he wasn’t looking for a commitment. Now he said he WAS dating when at that time when i asked, he denied it & eventually I broke it off a month later. He returned, and I told him that he knows what I’m about. Too bad what he’s about… but Matthew, you answer a crucial question for me because I have a family member who always acts as if anyone who aligns with me and my 3 children is doing me a favor, while she’s in the same boat with 2. I also laugh at those people who say “no drama” have they been alive? Life is drama? Lol 😂 it’s just how we cope - yes! We need to be love, accepted & free to be ourselves… thank you Matthew
This is so true, we have to fight for the inches when we are in the middle of heartbreak. It's all about taking it one hour at a time. But keep going, it does get easier ❤
I appreciate the message in this video. I do. But this video misses the crucial point that the break ups most of us are dealing with are from people we have given an honest shot to and they opt to break up disrespectfully. THAT'S what the majority of us are dealing with. How can a human find it easy to mask up and build a connection to cowardly dump text and avoid a conversation. They would never quit a job like that. We need to talk about the quitters and dumpers who have such horrible character traits (and stop giving them a pass on them being a certain attachment style or childhood drama or lack of communication skills) and bad behavior. People know exactly what they are doing but where of the video with message on holding these people accountable or better yet preventing such an experience. Break up are rarely amicable but the majority are so hurtful due to one's poor human kindness.
Yes...mine quit right when he was falling in love with me. I didn't know much about avoidant behavior then. He discarded me cruelly and we were so close before he got scared. My heart is wounded deeply.
We can't control what people decide to do but we can control ourselves that's it. It's scary but we can't waste our time on them hoping there's consequences for them. I do that sometimes but ultimately people who treat people badly will eventually receive that in some way.
You make such a powerful point. It’s true-so many breakups aren’t about "growing apart" but are instead abrupt, disrespectful exits that leave us feeling blindsided.
Wow.. I haven't seen this channel in about 2 years. At the time I went through a really tough break up.. Which really shut me down for probably a year.. Didn't think I'd be able to be "truly happy" ever again... But the grass gets greener... Trusting time.. Is so important.. Time heals all
What about when you're the one that had to break up, it's even more devastating. I was tired of feeling neglected, only receiving ghe breadcrumbs, putring in all the effort (emotional, physical, even economic). I communicated my needs many times, also asked for his needs. He was ok with everything. It felt like we were experiencing 2 different relationships. Despite being hurt, despite being exhausted, despite not feeling myself for a long time, it hurts so much and I just want him back.
Thank you, Matthew Right on time with this video - I am just doing the last packing and moving out from my first home together with someone. And it hurts unbearably right now. Your video is a bit of a soothing balm on my broken heart. It’s only worse since I have an anxious attachment style and I’m literally in a constant feeling of anxiety that makes me feel physically unwell. Thank you for this video. I’m reaching out for help anywhere I can - like a drowning person in the middle of the ocean. I will hold on to anything.
Like yourself I also have a anxious attachment style, it will be hard on the next couple weeks, it will ease after that, its going to be a battle Brain vs heart, but write in a paper if you to, the reasons why you weren't happy, and read that paper from time to time, it helps, someone is out there, when you are ready. Good luck :)
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m here with you. I also have severe anxiety and it can make things feel unbearable. I don’t have the answers, just wanted you to know that you have a friend here going through the same thing. You are not alone ❤
Matthew- you are like a balm on hurt soul...your voice and everything you say makes me feel so understood and calms my anxiety down. You are unique human being ❤ Keep being you❤❤
Wish I heard this sooner 😢 I could have listened better without getting defensive. But also was never given the opportunity to repair after a single conflict 💔
My relationship ended in June out of the blue cause " his feelings changed" & couldn't see me as a life partner. The hardest thing ever happened to me. Still trying to heal and return my energy to myself. The videos are very helpful 🫶
My gf broke up with me six months ago, my confidence is restored, im not angry at her anymore and most days i feel like i moved on. But often i catch myself thinking of her, it doesn’t even trigger bad emotions most times instead I still feel something for her. I don’t want to get back together because I put so much effort into myself and managing the breakup. And we probably weren’t that compatible. But she still is such a good person. I don’t think I still feel love for her but something is still there. I just don’t know how to handle it sometimes and im scared that i can never let the feelings attached to these memories go. I cant see myself with anyone else right now. I often feel like I want a new relationship but if I’m honest I think i just want to feel the way she made me feel again. But after all six month aren’t that long and I hope i will move on completely soon.
It's good to see you just to feel the way she made you feel. You do know she cannot be the only person that can make you feel that way...as long as you stop looking at the door that she walked out of...and see the windows and other doors that are open for you to walk out of and meet other people. She cannot be the only one who could make you feel that way, know that. Go on dates maybe... just for a coffee with someone or with a group of friends. Open yourself up to life... someone is ready for you.
Thank you Matthew for sharing these wise words of advice! Some of your best ever...and that's saying something!!! Your insights have truly helped in my life with understanding"relationships"- and i don't just mean the romantic ones
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Be kind and patient with yourself, it takes time to adapt to the new reality but trust that you have made space for something even better to come in. This community is here for you ❤
You have to take a risk of hurt and disappointment at some point if you’re looking for new relationships. It’s just a part of life…So you have to not be too reliant on others having the power to define your value… or you’ll fall apart in dating and everywhere else in life too!!!
This was comforting and a bit healing to hear. Yet, I do feel it's important for us to be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves would I date me? That would be the game changer.
I would definitely date me lol. I love people and always have good intentions with them. Especially the people I get into a relationship with. I’m always there for me.
I know I've lost her. Even if she came back, how could it ever be the same. She's an avoidant and the coldness and lack of care at the end, then to see her so happy a week later as my world was falling apart. It's been 4 months, and I struggle to let go. I miss her, I miss her 10yo son, I miss her adult kids, I miss her parents. I've been in no contact but recently it's been the hardest, especially when her son's 11th birthday was last week. All I want to know is that she misses me in some way. Even if she has no intention of contacting me again. I know she's not the right person for me, but it's still so hard. I just want the pain and tears to go away.
I had the exactly same scenario approx 2 years back, starting it was all like I love you I like you and what not. Later He started saying exactly same like You are not what I want. And I kept on thinking what’s wrong, what did I do wrong and kept on going back to him asking tell me what’s wrong I will improve. Basically I kept myself on lower side. Now I am done and want to move on. It still hurts but what hurts most is giving my time and not understanding what was wrong. I wish I knew these advices earlier.
i totally agree and this is very good advice, i just got out of this same situation where person hold on to something that i did wrong and didn't communicated, then she blowed everything. NOW this is very important to say this in the beginning. Well i got a good lesson this time :]]] a very good one
It's gonna be 2 months so far, as the NC goes longer, I feel I want him back less and less. Now even though sometimes I still have feelings of wanting to recontact him, but everytime I have this thoughts I always postpone and say to myself "not today I don't want to break the peace I'm having now, I'll wait another week". I'm doing great now, meeting new friends having new hobbies and found myself back. I don't want to break the peace now, but sometimes I still think of him. Not sure if I should recontact...
My situation was a little different. I made the mistake of telling my friend I had developed romantic feelings for them when we finally met for the first time as they live 3 hrs from me. Sadly he didn't feel the same way and it broke my heart 💔 It's been 2 weeks now and it still hurts so bad 😢 We still chat but it's very doubtful I'll ever see him again 😢
For me it's kind of the opposite. I want what I want. And when I can't get it - even with my uttermost charme and effort - I feel terrible. If I already got a guy and he finally sees my awkwardness and meanness, I find it kind of understandable if he leaves. And the magic is gone anyway. No more heartbreak then.
18 years, of constantly giving I even lost myself, 3yrs and still cry daily he lives 2 doors away. We have a child. He just ignores me. How cold can he be
Fall in love with yourself and start living your life....there's no way "LIFE" meant for you to be someone else's dumpster... he may change when you start living but if not, the world will look and feel different. I hope you are looking after yourself, and your health, so you look gorgeous reinventing yourself. He once loved you but seeing you pine (he can see it in your eyes) he may be enjoying being desired... get back into life and love being alive. Good luck.
8 months on and off the situationship and my heart is broken and I understand perfectly your message but it is hard to put into practice when I met new people and can’t get that same feeling of atracción and connection. I freeze up and my heart closes and can’t even let them get close to me. So hard to deal with a breakup when the other person doesn’t communicate even if I try to start a conversation. Will let the idea of just DATA sink into my head. 🙏🏻😊
30 years of marriage, and she dumped me, best thing she ever did,my life is amazing😊😊😊😊😊😊😊never been happier, love being single, living in the present moment ❤
I was in 8 years of relationship with a man and 4 years of marriage with same and now we are taking divorce with mutual consent. Previously he says.. he can’t live without me and I am his lifeline but now suddenly he moved on with his life and blocked me and he behaves like who cares, it’s your choice.. and now I am feeling obsessed because of his changed behaviour.. but I know I don’t want that man in my life but I can’t control my feelings and my mind and can’t stop thinking about him. And texting him calling him even after the divorce process is going on and he don’t care about me.. how can I get out of this..?
We have been friends for 2 years and then he decided he wanted to possibly take our friendship further. I had already known that nothing would happen. I watched a friendship go down the tubes. Actually it may never have been a friendship. He started to use me and everything was one sided. He was giving bread crumbs and he didn't know that I knew what he was doing. One day he sent me a message and we had already spoken about the subject twice so I didn't respond. He never contacted me again and I didn't contact him. This happened about a couple of weeks ago and I'm not missing him like I had in the beginning.
Sounds like you saw things for what they really were and saved yourself from more one-sided energy. Sometimes, letting go brings a lot more peace than holding on-seems like you're in a good place now.
Or...he came to help me move my stuff out of the uhaul and I didn't know he was there behind me and saw me cry and break down after looking at the 15 years of my life. I didn't know he came...he saw my heart. Then 2 days later said..."I just cant". I mean...wtf??
What can we do when we love someone so hard and earn to fulfill expenses, do home chores take care of a kid and his family and he still don't care? Hurts you emotionally and beats you physically but You still don't want to leave him because you think you can't live without him?
Be cautious-someone may truly get to know you, drift away emotionally, and end the relationship in their mind without telling you. The mistake is in trying to win them back; it’s futile. The right move is to step away and focus on your own life.
Tyvm! First, are you okay? Did you hurt your fingers? I noticed your bandaids…Please be carefully, hope it healed by now! You make me realize to see from other glasses and bend their reasons into ‘my reality’, tyvm! I read somewhere: if one doesn’t except me at my worst, one not deserving me at my best! ( saying this out loud to meself too now cause 1 hour ago got the bad news…) Story (try short) : lovebombed, asks me to keep texting and why I didn’t ?? Than breadcrumbed, suddenly he popped up again, said no to him asking for my bedroom 😮, he said was a joke! Next day : Commands me NOT to contact on mobile! ( has 13 reasons, I got my reality, ya know it’s your quote, tyvm) Than asks me maybe on vacation just 2 minutes after he said tho he thought he wanted relation tho he has other plans and not want to use me… honoust and data? Than he quick kiss me and literally running out of the door? Thnx to your content I start to understand. I am learning, I start to see more clearly! Still it hurts, that’s why this really helps so much! This vid I watched few times…&made me follow. I watched for years. Lots of appreciation&love for your woman&you and your team! Thnx y’all for being there ❤ Yes, you too if YOU read this beautiful person ☺️👋🏻🫶🏻
Look forward to getting your heart broken. What's the big deal, are you such a weakling who can't handle a heartbreak. A heartbreak can be your biggest teacher. There are no certainties in human relations. Human relations must be conducted on a day by day basis. At any moment he or you can change their minds even if you are deeply in love, even if you are married. That's how it will always be. What the other person decides to do is never going to be in your control. The only thing in your control is show you react to a hearbreak. Are you going to be bitter or better, the choice is yours.
The oversimplification of emotions. I don't like this take. How can you just tell people to get over something when rejection and process of heartbreak can be beyond soul destroying for some.
I accepted everything about him. I was even willing to work on it. But he couldn't accept me when I was at my lowest. People are selfish.
Same
The worst thing is he used me ,, then throw away me without explain
One of my therapist's favorite thing to say is "That's data!" when someone reacts to something I do or say when I'm being honest. The saying really disarms the emotion that could affect my mood about the situation.
I just broke up a month ago, my mind says it was the right decision but my heart is still too much involved emotionally. I want to learn to trust my mind because it wants me to feel safe in being myself 🌟
I understand I got out of a emotional abusive relationship or situationship it was short but it did give me PTSD so now I'm damaged. But I pray that you will be okay you're not alone I'm hurting with you 😔
@@LaysChips-n6zall of us are damaged in some way. It's important to heal.
I have been with my heart broken since July. But with Your videos, and try to be with myself, I am now like the song "I am litte bit hurt but a lot more free"
I'm so sorry you've been going through this, heartbreak is one of the hardest experiences we can go through. I'm happy the videos are helping, keep going there are brighter days ahead
It’s July for me too…today I woke up crying coz I had a dream of us breaking up. In my dream we were physically together and calling it quits. He seemed to be happy, but I was crying in my dream. Crying when I woke up too. We broke up over the phone. We didn’t really talk about it, we just did.
It’s so painful…when will this stop??
mid of october ✋🏻😪
Im just suffering from breakup i can’t stop crying and stop thinking.. please help me .. i wanna do NC but im scared.. it’s hard
Just lost my relationship of almost 4 years a few days ago. It happened so fast. She’s still talking and helping me, but accepting the fact that “us” is probably gone forever is what hurts the most. I’m taking the steps to finding myself again. The future is scary, but the only way to predict the future is to create it.
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On point! The invitation to talk about fears, needs, concerns... the opportunity to go deeper, is missing in each case in my own experience.
11:05 Just went through this and got dumped, without her being able to roughly put into words what was going on inside her. She "just cannot do this".
I’m also still recovering from a heartbreak from August. I used to wake u crying every day. It does get better but it’s a process. He disappeared on me several times during the three years we were together 😔. I have been watching Matthew’s videos for the last two+ years and they’ve really helped me to think about things. Each time we came back together it’s almost like nothing happened. I think the right person makes us feel safe and we feel secure. And I think we need to have a clear vision about what it is we want-always. Also, it’s in the difficult conversations we grow stronger with our partner and if s/he isn’t the right one, that is data.
It’s tough. I walked away but I didn’t want to. She has two young kids already. I wanted to add a third. I don’t have any. I get it, I can’t expect someone to carry a child if they don’t want to. It was just too painful for me to stay knowing I’d never share in the joys and pitfalls of full parenthood with her. I wish we were both more honest about it before getting engaged. So many lessons learned. It doesn’t mean I don’t love and miss her and her two kids. I do
@ww21943 being true to yourself takes courage. I'm glad you were able to see the lesson. Hindsight is always 20/20. Best to you.
@ thank you. It still hurts but improves each day.
And you were ready to take on her two kids too, that's why it hurts so much, however you know you want to be a dad to your own too, and if she wasn't willing to do that, good for you to know you cannot stay. When you meet the one who yiu are supposed to do all that with, this experience will be a blessing. Good luck to you, and it will get better.
@@KG-bliss thank you. Yes, I was more than ready to take on her kids. I romanticized all three kids growing up together. My heart was in the right place. I reached out today. Asked how she and the kids are doing. I know I shouldn’t have. She likely won’t write back and honestly, that’s likely the best thing to happen.
I want to give in and go back (if I even can) but that’s not the way to go. I just need to find hope again.
I wish I was as strong as you in waking away. I wish I had your determination and strength.
Thank you for making this video! This was exactly what I needed as the person who rejected me, moved on with another person today. What a lifesaver!!
Idk exactly what it was that Matthew said, but I feel like I can finally face and admit how unhappy and unsupported I felt in my last relationship. I’ve been blaming him for not seeing how good we were when our lives were normal and for not sharing the blame in the demise of our relationship. But now I see that I was so unhappy that I actually hated him at times. I wasn’t honest or vulnerable with him about how I was feeling and what I needed. I didn’t know how. I wasn’t able to speak up. I’m unsure, but I may have even sabotaged our relationship bc k didn’t know how to speak up or get out.
Thank you Matthew, this is such a helpful reminder to be authentic and show up as your true self & show your real life reality so you know if that person is going to be a good addition to your world or not. I have an autistic son and that may not be something everyone wants to include in their life but being unapologetically real and vulnerable with people is what I try to be about. Kind of this is me and my life …take it or leave it approach.
I understand- I’ve been on & off with someone because I was never prioritized. He came back & finally admitted that my intuition was true, while he did say when we reunited, he wasn’t looking for a commitment. Now he said he WAS dating when at that time when i asked, he denied it & eventually I broke it off a month later. He returned, and I told him that he knows what I’m about. Too bad what he’s about… but Matthew, you answer a crucial question for me because I have a family member who always acts as if anyone who aligns with me and my 3 children is doing me a favor, while she’s in the same boat with 2. I also laugh at those people who say “no drama” have they been alive? Life is drama? Lol 😂 it’s just how we cope - yes! We need to be love, accepted & free to be ourselves… thank you Matthew
I try to keep this in mind during breakups, but when you are in the thick of it, it's hard.
This is so true, we have to fight for the inches when we are in the middle of heartbreak. It's all about taking it one hour at a time. But keep going, it does get easier ❤
I appreciate the message in this video. I do. But this video misses the crucial point that the break ups most of us are dealing with are from people we have given an honest shot to and they opt to break up disrespectfully. THAT'S what the majority of us are dealing with. How can a human find it easy to mask up and build a connection to cowardly dump text and avoid a conversation. They would never quit a job like that. We need to talk about the quitters and dumpers who have such horrible character traits (and stop giving them a pass on them being a certain attachment style or childhood drama or lack of communication skills) and bad behavior. People know exactly what they are doing but where of the video with message on holding these people accountable or better yet preventing such an experience. Break up are rarely amicable but the majority are so hurtful due to one's poor human kindness.
I think it my case, it’s not giving these people a pass, but more letting it, and them, go. Not letting a bitter root take hold in me, because of them
Yes...mine quit right when he was falling in love with me. I didn't know much about avoidant behavior then. He discarded me cruelly and we were so close before he got scared. My heart is wounded deeply.
I get what you're saying, but the only person who's behavior we can control is our own.
We can't control what people decide to do but we can control ourselves that's it. It's scary but we can't waste our time on them hoping there's consequences for them. I do that sometimes but ultimately people who treat people badly will eventually receive that in some way.
You make such a powerful point. It’s true-so many breakups aren’t about "growing apart" but are instead abrupt, disrespectful exits that leave us feeling blindsided.
Wow.. I haven't seen this channel in about 2 years. At the time I went through a really tough break up.. Which really shut me down for probably a year.. Didn't think I'd be able to be "truly happy" ever again... But the grass gets greener... Trusting time.. Is so important.. Time heals all
What about when you're the one that had to break up, it's even more devastating. I was tired of feeling neglected, only receiving ghe breadcrumbs, putring in all the effort (emotional, physical, even economic). I communicated my needs many times, also asked for his needs. He was ok with everything. It felt like we were experiencing 2 different relationships. Despite being hurt, despite being exhausted, despite not feeling myself for a long time, it hurts so much and I just want him back.
I think I'm going to apply for a convent and still praying for my man until he came🙏🙏
Thank you, Matthew
Right on time with this video - I am just doing the last packing and moving out from my first home together with someone. And it hurts unbearably right now. Your video is a bit of a soothing balm on my broken heart.
It’s only worse since I have an anxious attachment style and I’m literally in a constant feeling of anxiety that makes me feel physically unwell.
Thank you for this video. I’m reaching out for help anywhere I can - like a drowning person in the middle of the ocean. I will hold on to anything.
I’m so sorry.💔 I hope you heal & trust again.🌺
@@ammamaw thank you 🙏🏼
Like yourself I also have a anxious attachment style, it will be hard on the next couple weeks, it will ease after that, its going to be a battle Brain vs heart, but write in a paper if you to, the reasons why you weren't happy, and read that paper from time to time, it helps, someone is out there, when you are ready. Good luck :)
@ thank you 🙏🏼❤️🩹
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m here with you. I also have severe anxiety and it can make things feel unbearable. I don’t have the answers, just wanted you to know that you have a friend here going through the same thing. You are not alone ❤
You’re videos are helping through some tough times Matt. Heartbroken since July, but peacefully taking care of me one day at time. Thank you 🫶🏽❤️❤️
Matthew- you are like a balm on hurt soul...your voice and everything you say makes me feel so understood and calms my anxiety down. You are unique human being ❤ Keep being you❤❤
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this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
I'm so glad it helped ❤
Same!
Wish I heard this sooner 😢 I could have listened better without getting defensive. But also was never given the opportunity to repair after a single conflict 💔
My relationship ended in June out of the blue cause " his feelings changed" & couldn't see me as a life partner. The hardest thing ever happened to me. Still trying to heal and return my energy to myself. The videos are very helpful 🫶
It’s such a lucky moment find every video Matt at the specific moment when need hear that truth end realize many many things about it I love you so
I loved this. Especially when you are a single mom. You sometimes wonder how it influences things😊
My gf broke up with me six months ago, my confidence is restored, im not angry at her anymore and most days i feel like i moved on. But often i catch myself thinking of her, it doesn’t even trigger bad emotions most times instead I still feel something for her. I don’t want to get back together because I put so much effort into myself and managing the breakup. And we probably weren’t that compatible. But she still is such a good person. I don’t think I still feel love for her but something is still there. I just don’t know how to handle it sometimes and im scared that i can never let the feelings attached to these memories go. I cant see myself with anyone else right now.
I often feel like I want a new relationship but if I’m honest I think i just want to feel the way she made me feel again. But after all six month aren’t that long and I hope i will move on completely soon.
It's good to see you just to feel the way she made you feel. You do know she cannot be the only person that can make you feel that way...as long as you stop looking at the door that she walked out of...and see the windows and other doors that are open for you to walk out of and meet other people. She cannot be the only one who could make you feel that way, know that. Go on dates maybe... just for a coffee with someone or with a group of friends. Open yourself up to life... someone is ready for you.
This video flipped the switch inside of me. Thank you.
Thank you Matthew for sharing these wise words of advice! Some of your best ever...and that's saying something!!! Your insights have truly helped in my life with understanding"relationships"- and i don't just mean the romantic ones
Thank you for this video. After being ghosted 2 months ago by my boyfriend, this video really resonates with me.
Being ghosted is rough, but it sounds like you're finding the insights you need. Stay strong-you’re not alone in this.
@SaveTheMessenger Thank you. I just take it day by day.
Thank you so much. Exactly what I needed today! 🙏❤️
It's been three weeks. I'm still living in hell. it seems to feel better one day then the next im back in hell. I just want it to stop...
@@eelgu Yesterday I felt miserable, today I feel good: I can thoroughly relate that... A hug, be strong!
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Be kind and patient with yourself, it takes time to adapt to the new reality but trust that you have made space for something even better to come in. This community is here for you ❤
Still recovering from my heartbreak that happened in July ❤️🩹 it gets better, but slowly
It’s never easy is it
Same here. It gets better but it’s indeed very slow. I hope that one day, the pain will be gone.
He’s quoted helped me out a lot. It’s a turn on to be choose every day.
❤
Mine happened in September.
Thank you Mathew you makes me feeling safe and calm.By the way I like your bobsquarepants plasters,funny complements too😊thanks
You have to take a risk of hurt and disappointment at some point if you’re looking for new relationships. It’s just a part of life…So you have to not be too reliant on others having the power to define your value… or you’ll fall apart in dating and everywhere else in life too!!!
Love your AMA site Matthew, just had a go and really liked it
Very helpful and timely. Bless you Matthew.
Thank you so much this truly help me this morning.
8 months since she left me and broke up the family. Luckily I got guardianship of the two kids. Can’t wait for this year to end!
How timely, yet again.
Grazie!
This was comforting and a bit healing to hear. Yet, I do feel it's important for us to be honest with ourselves and ask ourselves would I date me? That would be the game changer.
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I would definitely date me lol. I love people and always have good intentions with them. Especially the people I get into a relationship with. I’m always there for me.
Powerful and empowering message ❤
This is an outstanding clip Matthew. ❤Thank you so much for sharing 🙏🏼
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Thank you so much, Matthew! This is so helpful!!! 🙏🙏🙏
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1yr&5 months heartbroken. Hasnt gotten any better at all. Yay.
I needed this. I can’t hide my life circumstances and whoever is going to share my life with me will have to respect all of me😔
I know I've lost her. Even if she came back, how could it ever be the same. She's an avoidant and the coldness and lack of care at the end, then to see her so happy a week later as my world was falling apart. It's been 4 months, and I struggle to let go. I miss her, I miss her 10yo son, I miss her adult kids, I miss her parents. I've been in no contact but recently it's been the hardest, especially when her son's 11th birthday was last week. All I want to know is that she misses me in some way. Even if she has no intention of contacting me again. I know she's not the right person for me, but it's still so hard. I just want the pain and tears to go away.
I need this, I’ve been heartbroken since September
I’m looking forward to that real love someday.
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good video yet again, thank you love ❤️
I had the exactly same scenario approx 2 years back, starting it was all like I love you I like you and what not. Later He started saying exactly same like You are not what I want. And I kept on thinking what’s wrong, what did I do wrong and kept on going back to him asking tell me what’s wrong I will improve. Basically I kept myself on lower side. Now I am done and want to move on. It still hurts but what hurts most is giving my time and not understanding what was wrong. I wish I knew these advices earlier.
Beautiful framing, thank you 🙏
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i totally agree and this is very good advice, i just got out of this same situation where person hold on to something that i did wrong and didn't communicated, then she blowed everything.
NOW this is very important to say this in the beginning.
Well i got a good lesson this time :]]] a very good one
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It's gonna be 2 months so far, as the NC goes longer, I feel I want him back less and less. Now even though sometimes I still have feelings of wanting to recontact him, but everytime I have this thoughts I always postpone and say to myself "not today I don't want to break the peace I'm having now, I'll wait another week". I'm doing great now, meeting new friends having new hobbies and found myself back. I don't want to break the peace now, but sometimes I still think of him. Not sure if I should recontact...
My situation was a little different. I made the mistake of telling my friend I had developed romantic feelings for them when we finally met for the first time as they live 3 hrs from me. Sadly he didn't feel the same way and it broke my heart 💔 It's been 2 weeks now and it still hurts so bad 😢
We still chat but it's very doubtful I'll ever see him again 😢
For me it's kind of the opposite. I want what I want. And when I can't get it - even with my uttermost charme and effort - I feel terrible.
If I already got a guy and he finally sees my awkwardness and meanness, I find it kind of understandable if he leaves. And the magic is gone anyway. No more heartbreak then.
This is so me.
heartbreak sucks😢
18 years, of constantly giving I even lost myself, 3yrs and still cry daily he lives 2 doors away. We have a child. He just ignores me. How cold can he be
Fall in love with yourself and start living your life....there's no way "LIFE" meant for you to be someone else's dumpster... he may change when you start living but if not, the world will look and feel different. I hope you are looking after yourself, and your health, so you look gorgeous reinventing yourself. He once loved you but seeing you pine (he can see it in your eyes) he may be enjoying being desired... get back into life and love being alive. Good luck.
Very true Matthew ..
Matthew I love you, but you’re killing me with this AI
u are a blessing
8 months on and off the situationship and my heart is broken and I understand perfectly your message but it is hard to put into practice when I met new people and can’t get that same feeling of atracción and connection. I freeze up and my heart closes and can’t even let them get close to me. So hard to deal with a breakup when the other person doesn’t communicate even if I try to start a conversation. Will let the idea of just DATA sink into my head. 🙏🏻😊
No, is willing to give me a 2nd date. We get along, dates go well, thinking I will see them again and gone. I would like a chance.
30 years of marriage, and she dumped me, best thing she ever did,my life is amazing😊😊😊😊😊😊😊never been happier, love being single, living in the present moment ❤
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I thought she was perfect for me, we were so compatible and had lots in common. She left me because of my son 😢
I was in 8 years of relationship with a man and 4 years of marriage with same and now we are taking divorce with mutual consent. Previously he says.. he can’t live without me and I am his lifeline but now suddenly he moved on with his life and blocked me and he behaves like who cares, it’s your choice.. and now I am feeling obsessed because of his changed behaviour.. but I know I don’t want that man in my life but I can’t control my feelings and my mind and can’t stop thinking about him. And texting him calling him even after the divorce process is going on and he don’t care about me.. how can I get out of this..?
I listen at 2x speed and it's helpful.
We have been friends for 2 years and then he decided he wanted to possibly take our friendship further. I had already known that nothing would happen. I watched a friendship go down the tubes. Actually it may never have been a friendship. He started to use me and everything was one sided. He was giving bread crumbs and he didn't know that I knew what he was doing. One day he sent me a message and we had already spoken about the subject twice so I didn't respond. He never contacted me again and I didn't contact him. This happened about a couple of weeks ago and I'm not missing him like I had in the beginning.
Sounds like you saw things for what they really were and saved yourself from more one-sided energy. Sometimes, letting go brings a lot more peace than holding on-seems like you're in a good place now.
Nearly two into being heartbroken 💔 still painful now as the first day.
Thank you!
Or...he came to help me move my stuff out of the uhaul and I didn't know he was there behind me and saw me cry and break down after looking at the 15 years of my life. I didn't know he came...he saw my heart. Then 2 days later said..."I just cant". I mean...wtf??
What can we do when we love someone so hard and earn to fulfill expenses, do home chores take care of a kid and his family and he still don't care? Hurts you emotionally and beats you physically but You still don't want to leave him because you think you can't live without him?
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its about 7months im unable to recover from heart break ...
Be cautious-someone may truly get to know you, drift away emotionally, and end the relationship in their mind without telling you. The mistake is in trying to win them back; it’s futile. The right move is to step away and focus on your own life.
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Hey angel how u know i m going through this break up
I feel like I lost the only person whom I could be myself and he would still be attracted to me
He just lost interest in me
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What about when there’s nothing wrong with the person but want different things? He doesn’t want anymore kids , I want kids and have none already
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Thank you so much for this!
🙏
Ooof.. this is so true.
Tyvm!
First, are you okay? Did you hurt your fingers? I noticed your bandaids…Please be carefully, hope it healed by now!
You make me realize to see from other glasses and bend their reasons into ‘my reality’, tyvm!
I read somewhere: if one doesn’t except me at my worst, one not deserving me at my best!
( saying this out loud to meself too now cause 1 hour ago got the bad news…)
Story (try short) : lovebombed, asks me to keep texting and why I didn’t ??
Than breadcrumbed, suddenly he popped up again, said no to him asking for my bedroom 😮, he said was a joke! Next day : Commands me NOT to contact on mobile! ( has 13 reasons, I got my reality, ya know it’s your quote, tyvm)
Than asks me maybe on vacation just 2 minutes after he said tho he thought he wanted relation tho he has other plans and not want to use me… honoust and data? Than he quick kiss me and literally running out of the door?
Thnx to your content I start to understand. I am learning, I start to see more clearly! Still it hurts, that’s why this really helps so much!
This vid I watched few times…&made me follow.
I watched for years.
Lots of appreciation&love for your woman&you and your team!
Thnx y’all for being there ❤
Yes, you too if YOU read this beautiful person ☺️👋🏻🫶🏻
Exactly.
So true!
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Healing process needs knowledge 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
I am not used to seeing you wear jewellery Mr Hussey.
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
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❤❤❤❤💯💯💯💯
If person call u bad name he get me next to the road alike dog shout me in front of children
Look forward to getting your heart broken. What's the big deal, are you such a weakling who can't handle a heartbreak. A heartbreak can be your biggest teacher. There are no certainties in human relations. Human relations must be conducted on a day by day basis. At any moment he or you can change their minds even if you are deeply in love, even if you are married. That's how it will always be. What the other person decides to do is never going to be in your control. The only thing in your control is show you react to a hearbreak. Are you going to be bitter or better, the choice is yours.
The oversimplification of emotions. I don't like this take. How can you just tell people to get over something when rejection and process of heartbreak can be beyond soul destroying for some.
3 months for me
Slowly getting better ❤️🩹
Yes I felt I did something wrong - I saw how he really was that night & it scared me !