As the the innocent robotic dog was dismembered, it let out moans and shrieks of pain, quickly silenced by the cruel hands of Ashens. With it's last yelping cry, a lone tear flowed down my cheek. What a cruel man Ashens is.
14:25 "just gonna kill it so it doesn't attack me in my sleep" He doesn't even know how right he is. I got the exact same toy from my grand or grandgrandmother (can't remember which) and loved it till it started automatically starting up at night. It kept doing that till it walked off the shelf and killed itself after numerous tries. As it was my favorite toy I tried to bring it back to life without succes. Maybe it was better that way. This video just brought back those memories.
Its like with my xbox one scares the shit out of you when microsoft wirelessly turns it on in order to update you do get used to it eventually but until then hide I would say that kinect is creepy but who knows where it sends its 24 hour 7 video but more importantly who cares
I know this is a super old comment but it reminded me of a similar incident from a few years ago. I'm a light sleeper so everything wakes me up. One night I kept hearing whirring and beeping, so at three am I ventured downstairs to the kitchen. The kitchen was being lit up intermittently along with the beeping & whirring, so it took me a minute to force myself to go in. Anyway, turns out that the freaking microwave was just randomly turning itself on and off as I watched. It wasn't digital either, but an older type where you had to turn a dial to switch it on. Except for that night. I have never unplugged something so quickly in my entire life... God knows what wiring was loose in the bloody thing for it to do that!
Ashens always has the best endings. An example (other than him snapping the dog's neck) is his Easter special where at the end he melted the bunny decorations with a blowtorch. That one was great.
"Im santa now" - Martin Short, in The Santa Claus 3 "Well you don't look like him" Tim Allen, in The Santa Claus 3 "Well i am..." Martin Short, In The Santa Claus 3's Bloobers
9:32 When I saw those fluffy balls hanging from the face I thought "Yeah, there's going to be something about that". "tumors" , "venom sacks" god I lost it.
I actually liked the penguin for a pound though it would of been better if they had just made an orange triangle for a beak instead of that weird smiling mouth 😊
Best quotes: "What goes on the top of the tree? That's right, a star... or sometimes a fairy." "The nose is a bit of a problem, also he's got no mouth and tongue coming out of his nose." "It's going bald all over where they haven't put enough fake fur on it, see that, the sort of mesh underneath. Deary me. *snaps head off*"
Santa has two hearts, he must be a long lost timelord! That explains how he was able to survive so long, and how there are so many different versions of "Saint Nicholas" or "Santa Claus" or whatever else you call him.
Kyle_Stanley Nah, he's a timelord! He has a Tardis but used the Sled as a back story because how can a few Raindeer... A. Fly B. Get around the world in 1 night He also needs to live a LONG time so that he can do many years of Christmas (The Doctor is more or less 10,000 years old, enough years until kids forget about the red fat man!)
Jesus H. Christ on toast... that tie is horrifying! The worst thing I thought I'd seen today was that flying sentient hacksaw from a nightmare this morning. I think it has a rival now.
Yeah the squeak it made was what did it in for me.. I have one of those dogs and a cat version. reason I got them was because I used to have one when I was a kid and it did back flips. Well my two serve as kinda a reminder of childhood and they do make me smile but yeah the headlight eyes are kinda weird, though I could never twist their heads off..
Lol at the dog head and the fact that you wore the gloves the whole time. Haven't been watching much lately, but I'll definitely be tuning in every ep from now on. Loved 'behind the tat' It seems like this show has gotten alot more American-friendly than when I first tuned in around '09. Loved the British feel though and the soothing serial-killer voice you have. Only ashen's voice could lull me to sleep with words of hate for the Airphone 4
Alright, no biggie, you don't have to believe me. I mean, someone else could have also bought it when it was sold at OfficeMax last year as well... So there's a chance it won't be the EXACT can I got him...
The eyes made the thing un-cute to me. There are not-so-horrific versions that actually sit down and do a backflip (though I admit the backing up animation IS cute on this one).
Good gadzooks, back in the early 90s my family had a little stocking ornament that you would squeeze and it would play EXACTLY that monophonic medly of songs. Tells you how long ago that sound chip dates to.
Wow when you riped off that cristmas critter head in the end it squicked like it was a living thing,oh well from the moment you turned it on it was like screaming help me.Stuard you really hate christmas that much?
As the the innocent robotic dog was dismembered, it let out moans and shrieks of pain, quickly silenced by the cruel hands of Ashens. With it's last yelping cry, a lone tear flowed down my cheek. What a cruel man Ashens is.
Life is cruel Ashens is great
14:25 "just gonna kill it so it doesn't attack me in my sleep"
He doesn't even know how right he is. I got the exact same toy from my grand or grandgrandmother (can't remember which) and loved it till it started automatically starting up at night. It kept doing that till it walked off the shelf and killed itself after numerous tries. As it was my favorite toy I tried to bring it back to life without succes. Maybe it was better that way. This video just brought back those memories.
XD rlly?
harrycook02 yes
Its like with my xbox one scares the shit out of you when microsoft wirelessly turns it on in order to update you do get used to it eventually but until then hide
I would say that kinect is creepy but who knows where it sends its 24 hour 7 video but more importantly who cares
I know this is a super old comment but it reminded me of a similar incident from a few years ago.
I'm a light sleeper so everything wakes me up. One night I kept hearing whirring and beeping, so at three am I ventured downstairs to the kitchen.
The kitchen was being lit up intermittently along with the beeping & whirring, so it took me a minute to force myself to go in.
Anyway, turns out that the freaking microwave was just randomly turning itself on and off as I watched. It wasn't digital either, but an older type where you had to turn a dial to switch it on. Except for that night.
I have never unplugged something so quickly in my entire life... God knows what wiring was loose in the bloody thing for it to do that!
I got my figgy pudding, a bottle of eggnog, and a brand new Ashens video on fullscreen.
This gon' be a good Christmas.
If only you would post a Christmas special!
I can always count on Ashens to give me a good laugh every now and again. "Witches pubic hair" lol
Ever seen THE GOOSE? (2013 Easter Special.)
14:00 I've never seen a movie where a dog walks through cocaine with flashlight eyes
Your profile picture...
Awww, the puppy was actually rather cute. It was actually heartbreaking when you snapped its neck
+Matthew BR Sims Yes, I agree.
+Canadian Tragedy same 😭😭😭
+Matthew BR Sims This comment would be so much darker if someone had never seen an Ashens video and just casually scrolled down to the comments.
OddMike Yeah....
i agree... Just try not to think about it happening To a real dog..... Makes the whole situation seem a little more Cruel...
Ashens always has the best endings. An example (other than him snapping the dog's neck) is his Easter special where at the end he melted the bunny decorations with a blowtorch. That one was great.
The poundland special "Squidgy Wrestler Bubble Gum Truck" video had a pretty good ending too
+Matthew Kunkle you must have missed that creepy guy at the end of the video that was the best ending to a video ever pro or amateur my opinion
I actually felt a little legitimately bad at the final thing.
It did scream out in pain as he killed it
0-12 sad onions!!?? I never thought we'd see the day!!
*TINY SHOVELS.*
Bring on the tiny shovels and meet me at the harbor be ready to attack
Tiny Shovels, in my mind.
Tiny Shovels, TINY SHOVELS!
"You hit me with a shovel!" - Tim Allen, in Santa Claus 3
"Im santa now" - Martin Short, in The Santa Claus 3
"Well you don't look like him" Tim Allen, in The Santa Claus 3
"Well i am..." Martin Short, In The Santa Claus 3's Bloobers
Immediately lighting a fire and keeping it burning just in case a life size one of those rubber Santas comes down my chimney!
OH GOD NO
Better hope that the headlight-eyed dog yaps itself to hell too. :D
😂
Why do I actually like this style of toy?
I was hoping he would take the outer covering off the dog like he did with ET and the easter chick.
Jake Hauser Please don't remind of the E.T
+Sir Nigel Just reading that made me shudder.
Nope not E.T.
I can already feel the flashbacks coming
i found it creepy how the dog squeeked when he tore it apart but the thing was turned off.....
Generic Rarity It was the demonic soul escaping from it's body
I was almost sick with laughter when he snapped that dog's neck.
Never thought I would say that.
Kommandant Kittenstomper i nearly died
what like the dog
i actually felt bad and thought the dog was somewhat cute
9:32
When I saw those fluffy balls hanging from the face I thought "Yeah, there's going to be something about that".
"tumors" , "venom sacks" god I lost it.
The cracking of that thing's plastic bones warms my heart more than a crackling fire in a fireplace.
Cilia are what you were thinking of. Flagella are the longer ones used for moving the organism around.
Christmas: spore edition.
+Dizzynoodlegamer No, Spore edition would just be a bunch of dicks.
+John Sadena "JUST STICK A SANTA HAT ON IT, IT'LL BE FINE"
+John Sadena WHO'S BEEN DRAWING DICKS
joel have you been drawing dicks
Doge Bizzket A two frame sprite having a seizure.
lol they obviously used the leftover black and orange tinsel from Halloween for the penguin 😁😃😄
Kay Watson that just makes me wonder why they used tinsel for Halloween
Kay Watson yeah
As Ashens said in the 2010 Christmas special
'Aw, they've made it from parts of their own kit, you lazy fuckers'
I actually liked the penguin for a pound though it would of been better if they had just made an orange triangle for a beak instead of that weird smiling mouth 😊
Kay Watson yeah the penguin actually looked nice if it wasn't for the mouth
I love penguins, owls and pugs
who else can't wait to see this years special
Blues Traveler It's out! Run!
Best quotes:
"What goes on the top of the tree? That's right, a star... or sometimes a fairy."
"The nose is a bit of a problem, also he's got no mouth and tongue coming out of his nose."
"It's going bald all over where they haven't put enough fake fur on it, see that, the sort of mesh underneath. Deary me. *snaps head off*"
"Its like a witch's public hair" got me off guard too!! Still laughing at that.
“They took my eyes children! I am at one with the borg..”
i think a product that doesnt even need to specify how much ingredients you put in and takes 2 seconds to make is actually quite amazing.
There's tiny shovels! TINY SHOVELS!
***** And (Fake) snow
Lol that tie scarred the shit out of my dog. Also the demon dog made my 18 month old daughter cry. This was a great episode.
Santa has two hearts, he must be a long lost timelord! That explains how he was able to survive so long, and how there are so many different versions of "Saint Nicholas" or "Santa Claus" or whatever else you call him.
And also how he can deliver all the presents in one night
Coraline Jane Nunca and to support twice the cholesterol
Coraline Jane Nunca and he knows when your asleep 0_0
Kyle_Stanley Nah, he's a timelord! He has a Tardis but used the Sled as a back story because how can a few Raindeer...
A. Fly
B. Get around the world in 1 night
He also needs to live a LONG time so that he can do many years of Christmas (The Doctor is more or less 10,000 years old, enough years until kids forget about the red fat man!)
***** makes sense
Coming soon... John Carpenter's "The Santa"
It’s Christmas Eve 2013
You’re in your bed, you can’t sleep. You pull up this video on your iPod touch on the old UA-cam app. Life was good.
life is good, dumbass
6:50 OMG I'm crying laughing its bad enough he called it the stroke angel but then this happens x'D rofl love these videos haha
the dog part at the end was freaking hilarious i wish he turned it on with the head half broken x'D
Did anybody notice that the Santa corpse looked like it had blood dripping from the holes inside of it?
Good God the face of that Angel really does encapsulate "Only in death does duty end"
I knew it all along ! Ashen IS Rob Halford !
instaBlaster...
8 years late (though by now you probably already know) but that’s not Stuart.
Ashens I didn't realise you got voldemort to do the ending, that's awesome!
Cilia! You were thinking about cilia, which is basically flagella but smaller, so you were right.
I want that Santa, for this sole reason.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHILDRENAUAUGUUGH"
AND A HAPPY NEW YEARRUAGHHHH
Santa has two hearts because Santa is a Time Lord...
***** The chameleon circuit just is on a sleigh and reindeer mode..
Dr. Who :P
The sound when you broke the dog was like bones breaking
The squeak as well
thats why i hated it i love animals to the poi nt where ive devoted my whole life to them and that just made me think of a dogs bones braking
Don't worry though, Ashens wouldn't ever hurt a real dog.
Tsumi Megami Or would he?
I can't explain why, but the sound was both terrifying and delightful at the same time.
Jesus H. Christ on toast... that tie is horrifying! The worst thing I thought I'd seen today was that flying sentient hacksaw from a nightmare this morning. I think it has a rival now.
I am at one with the borg...
Really wish i hadn't been wearing headphones at 8:41 **blood drips from ears slowly**
would you really want to use speakers? instead
That fairies seen some serious shit underneath the mistletoe.
Your face seems so big :o
Attackon Doge Dat name.
Dogeon Rompa
Oh Stuart, you're always so cheerful and optimistic around this time of year. ☺️🤗
I bet the long-legged penguin walks similar to the Striders in Half-Life 2.
Best ending ever! (by ever, I mean in the past hour... maybe a bit longer)
Who is that man at the end?
Ashens.. I'm scared..
"It's horrible. It's like a witches pubic hair." - Stuart Ashen 2013
05:15 The most emphatic use of the word "fuck" I have heard for quite some time ^^
That's no rabbit! It's the beast of Caer-Bennog!
Does anyone else really want to look through this guys trash to see what they find ?! :')
After 7 years, no, not really.
my god that head twist killed me :DDD
Killed the dog too.
TheDoubleTap It isn't dead! The eyes are still on and now it is wandering around at night seeking revenge for Ashens!!!!!!!!
That dog murder tho...
broke my heart... :c
i want one because of the noise
Yeah the squeak it made was what did it in for me.. I have one of those dogs and a cat version. reason I got them was because I used to have one when I was a kid and it did back flips. Well my two serve as kinda a reminder of childhood and they do make me smile but yeah the headlight eyes are kinda weird, though I could never twist their heads off..
i cri everitim
Tho, tho, tho, tho...
I like these. You always make it sound like Poundland is selling SCPs.
The end... oh good lord that end... my jaw hit the floor in suspense. More questions are raised... many more... O_O
Good thing you wore gloves, in case the Silver Skull sent you all these items lol
**2010 Christmas Special flashbacks intensify**
The inclusion of the tiny shovel is kind of cute but why is it a spade shovel and not a snow shovel?
Lol at the dog head and the fact that you wore the gloves the whole time. Haven't been watching much lately, but I'll definitely be tuning in every ep from now on. Loved 'behind the tat' It seems like this show has gotten alot more American-friendly than when I first tuned in around '09. Loved the British feel though and the soothing serial-killer voice you have. Only ashen's voice could lull me to sleep with words of hate for the Airphone 4
this guy blazes up every day hahahaha i dont even know why but that was one of the funniest vids ive seen in a while
That LED santa tie's music made my guinea pigs freak out..
Probably cause it sounded like a wounded animal. :P
Lol! So happy you used the Insta-Snow I got ya! This is the best day EVER!!! =D
I really doubt you sent it him.
Kaka Karrotcake what a coincidence, i just changed my steam name to Kaka Carrot Cake today!
Alright, no biggie, you don't have to believe me. I mean, someone else could have also bought it when it was sold at OfficeMax last year as well... So there's a chance it won't be the EXACT can I got him...
I've enjoyed watching how your sofa fares from one year to the next, also sub.
i thought the dog was kind of cute, myself
I agree I nearly cried it's last squeal
Seeing as all the other items were just some aliens masquerading, that one probably was too. What dog has glowing eyes anyway?
Set it on fire
The eyes made the thing un-cute to me. There are not-so-horrific versions that actually sit down and do a backflip (though I admit the backing up animation IS cute on this one).
Fire fire fire burn it
One of the best episodes I have seen.
You need an army of those dogs to line up behind the living room window and activate all at once.
Dear god, somebody PLEASE make a 10 hours video of Ashens making farty sounds with the rubber gloves!
Send me the link if you do.
I might do it, but I have to watch this video first.
I get very silly with editing! This is gonna be fun..
***** Yes, yes, please do! Don't forget to tell me when you are done!
Now I gotta bloody download it XD I'll put it on my main channel maybe tm.
GhostSniper3081 Hey again, I'm rendering the video now, gonna be done in 5 mins then I'll give you a link to it.
Santa has two hearts? well now we know how me manages to go all around the world in one night, he is a Timelord and his sleigh is infact a TARDIS :)
Was there every any doubt?
well the reindeer must be his companions forced to dress up like reindeer and FLY?
This has to be my favorite Christmas Special by Ashens :3
I come back to watch this every year.
Good gadzooks, back in the early 90s my family had a little stocking ornament that you would squeeze and it would play EXACTLY that monophonic medly of songs. Tells you how long ago that sound chip dates to.
Creepy Christmas to everybody...
0-12 sad onion! Whoa! That's like running into a Shiny Pokemon rare!
This is gold... the gloves started me off, oh Stuart, thank goodness
for you!
That dog walking towards the camera was THE scariest thing I've ever witnessed. Dear lord the nightmares!
@ 5:58 that angel doll looks like she came from an obscure children's show Nanalan
Doge Bizzket russer
I lost it at the led Santa with music. That's hilarious.
That's no ordinary rabbit! Look at the _bones!_
The picture of him in the Santa hat gets me every time hahaha 😂
That santa hat was actually pretty cute.
Nooooo! I genuinely found that little yapping doggie adorable
Even the demonic glowing eyes of doom?
Oh! The neck ringing crunching sound!
The freaky dog part trying to walk while yapping almost killed me.
I can't believe that Half A Bloody Decade has passed since this was uploaded...
Time does fly.
I had to go to the bathroom... I instead ended up pissing myself laughing halfway through the video. Thanks Stuart!
I think you meant cilia, Ashens, they're like lots of tiny flagella!
If I saw that toy dog coming at me during a dark night I would shit my pants and run
That angel made me laugh so much i cried :,DD
That toy at the end was the scariest. The one that wished everyone a happy xmas.
God I LOVE IT when you say " sad onions"
You called it a shovel this year! :O Last time it was a spade! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
That sound of the neck, dat soundddddddddd
Wow when you riped off that cristmas critter head in the end it squicked like it was a living thing,oh well from the moment you turned it on it was like screaming help me.Stuard you really hate christmas that much?
Could of been worse....watch FNAF VR I got flash backs of a burning enard when he did that 🤤
I couldn't stop laughing the whole way through.
Might understand why Doom said you can die from laughing if this doesn't stop.
i saw hannahs video and went to see this and i think it's brilliant. just subscribed
Cracking the dog's neck freaked me out. I know it was an evil robot, but it made the most pathetic noises!
"Witch's pubic hair"
Why do you have to put that image inside my head?
That ending!
13:05 "hello" a moment I could play back and watch all day.
14:22 - It actually made me gasp and cry out "No!". I'm such a little baby.
We all felt sorry for the puppy. :( Though, on the other hand, the light-up eyes are a little creepy.
*****
Aw, come on... Things with cute faces, no matter inanimate, are symphatisable.
***** No.
Valentine Maxwell Ariel Zwe i shaved it 2 days ago wanna touch now?
***** The fuck is wrong with you dude?!
Did anybody else think that toy puppy was adorable?
Well I didn't want it to be killed :(
XDmarcsyoXD Then the device was working at peak efficiency. Any longer and your eyes would have begun melting.
I got him that
If it wasn't for the face, I would have.
15:13 THERE HE IS!!! THAT FACE!!! IN THE FLESH!!!
WHO IS THIS MYSTERY MAN
I think he was in Quest for the Gamechild at the very end.
You'd know who that was if you watched that paper jam movie that ashens had starred in, i don't know if he also was in the Game Child movie as well.
he wasnt in the game child move he used a body double. ashens is only a disembodied voice who controls a set of robotic hands
And that face has flashed as on frame in one video!!
I had to watch that fucking tie flashing in my face at 1am. So much for sleep.
"Create a wonderland in your home!"
"...with this."
I don't know why but that always makes me burst out laughing.
The angel/fairy is still one of the best things I've ever seen Ashens review.