Tony Gaskins Said: A Woman's Life Is MISERABLE. Do You Agree? |
Вставка
- Опубліковано 23 сер 2022
- After speaking out about how weak and insecure men control women in relationships in 2009 on several globally televised shows, Tony Gaskins launched his career as a life coach and relationship counselor. Since then, Gaskins, who has been a faithful and committed husband for over a decade, has counseled thousands and inspired millions online, becoming one of America’s foremost experts on love and relationships.
Mentioned In Today's Show:
🤝 Better Help: anthonyoneal.com/betterhelp
🤝 Bethel Tech: anthonyoneal.com/bethel
Checkout My Network Partners:
🤝 Churchill: anthonyoneal.com/churchill
🤝 PrizePool: anthonyoneal.com/savings
🤝 Ethos Life Insurance: anthonyoneal.com/ethos
🤝 Aura Identity Theft Protection: aura.com/anthony
Take A FREE Online Singles Playbook Quiz:
💻 The Singles Playbook Quiz: www.AnthonyONeal.com/singlesp...
RECOMMENDED Reading
📔 Debt Free Degree: amzn.to/3jA8GfR
📓 Destroy Your Student Loan Debt: amzn.to/3uG5wNQ
📓 Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less: amzn.to/37iUUf1
📘 The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: amzn.to/3uEiKdW
🎙 Listen to the show
iTunes: apple.co/2Wb2FhG
GET IN TOUCH
🌍 My website - www.AnthonyONeal.com
🌍 Advertise With Me - partnerships@anthonyoneal.com
Connect with Me!
Instagram: @anthonyoneal
Facebook: @anthonyoneal
Who I AM:
Hey, fam! I’m Anthony. I’m fired up about meeting you where you are in a real, relevant, and relatable way. Here on this UA-cam channel, we’ll be having honest conversations about finding our authentic selves by living life based on spiritual, financial, and mental freedom. At the age of 19-homeless and deep in debt-I turned my life around by becoming debt-free, and I decided to spend the rest of my life helping people avoid the same money mistakes I made. Today, by the grace of God, that’s what I’m doing every day with AO Enterprise. You can rock with me on Instagram @AnthonyONeal or online at anthonyoneal.com.
Have A Questions You Would Like Asked On The Show:
Tweet me @anthonyoneal or email me at anthony@anthonyoneal.com. If your question is long, I might not read it, just being honest. 😁
Disclaimer: Some of these links are affiliate links, which means I may get a commission if you purchase. However, none of the fees of these resources have been increased to compensate me. In fact, many of these have given me special discounts that I get to extend to you! 😉
Finally, a man accurately translates what "I don't need a man" really means. Most straight women DO actually want a man. A GOOD Man, the RIGHT Man! Not just "a man". Great show!
Precisely and the issue really is that men think them just being a man is enough. That's why they always say "women need to choose better". They don't actually believe they should BE better because them just being men is enough 🤷🏿♀️
Sis, exactly!!!!!
Yes. They want men just for different reasons. Men need to get out of their ego.
@@Nitra813 that’s goes both ways.
TheodoreBakes I wish I could hug you. the crown does not make the king, character does.
This is the first time I've heard this level of compassion for women from a man online. Like he really gets how hard it is for women out here, very discerning.
I wish a lot more men would follow him to learn something. Most of his followers are women but he’s such a great example for men. Virtuous man.
I agree both of these men are real men with knowledge of self not many left peace and blessings ❤
@@LindsayAmelia He's pandering. He said women aren't saying they don't need a man. Actually, they are. I'm a millionaire and I hear it all the time.
@@hculbreath What prompted that statement matters. Some women do in fact say it out of brokenness and others out of defense/ego. Because the man has belittled them so they feel the need to remind him “I don’t need you financially”. Women just shorten that to “I don’t need a man”, which they shouldn’t do because it’s not the same. You might not need a man’s finances but if he’s a good man his benefits far surpass money. It’s circumstantial. Men and women need to calm their egos. Pride has no place in love.
She don't need no man. Mission accomplished
As a married man pursing a career in medicine I completely agree with Tony's outlook. Praying every day to honor and cherish the gift of my wife. She truly is one of the greatest blessings of my lifetime.
Wonderful🌺
Amen 🙏🏾
🙏🏽✨️
Your wife is very bless you he love and cherish by you as her husband ❤❤
Good for you bro!
Man I realized this after my wife passed!!! Playing both roles while raising two boys is HARD.
Sad you realize it at that moment but never too late to learn
You lucky you didn't have a girl
After my last relationship. I realized that many men are not preparing themselves to become better spouses. Thank you for this
Many women are not marriage material and never learned how to be one.
..."men are not preparing themselves to become better spouses." The same can be said for the modern-day female. I have had a few black GFs that did not know how to cook a nutritious meal, or clean up after themselves.
PS: And don't get me started on how many times **I would beg them to shower every day**
... and after my last relationship, I realized that BW don't really love a man... they only love what he can do for them.
And when I see a white guy that is dating a BW, then I tell him that he better not lose his job or get sick.
@@marcusrex77 being a better spouse has nothing to do with preparing meals, especially for modern women. Now you begging some one to shower. Naw that's who you choosing. Lol
@@marcusrex77 ironically, my sister and I were raised in the same exact household with the same 2 parents. She’s a modern woman and I’m a traditional woman. My mom was a traditional Latina woman. My sister is more Americanized than I am and I’m more Latina than she is. She does not know how to cook whatsoever. My husband sat in her apartment after my mom passed away and was in disbelief and on mute. They thought I did something to him. I found out why he was so confused when we got back to our hotel. My sister and I are like night and day. 😂😂😂😂😂 I don’t think it has anything to do with how some people are raised but more about what they retain and accept.
I’m about cooking, cleaning, organizing and labeling things. My sister is pretty much whatever. The both of us were in the Army but she let herself completely go and I’m still fit. She has only one child and I have 4. My husband is so confused by the huge difference. She’s “Girls Trip”. I’m “Family Trip.” She drinks. I don’t. She’s donuts. I’m salads, fruits and baby carrots.
I almost cried listening to this video. The message was so true and so timely. Women want to be seen, heard and appreciated especially from our own men.
Amen!
I did cry! Life is hard!
I felt the same way. It’s healing to hear from men that finally understand us.
I felt myself about to cry too.
Me too!!
My dad abandoned my mother when I was 12. My mom didnt have a degree from high school. Got certified as a pharmacy tech. Worked 2 jobs. Taught me don't ever depend on a man. After buying a home as a single woman ...I'm so glad she taught me to do for myself. A relationship isn't the only pathway to happiness 😊☺️
Amen! Your story is my story…❤️
A relationship with God Almighty is the ONLY pathway to Happiness 😊
@@Minney-Me god also wants us women to be strong and independent beacause men fail us
@@Minney-Me Well, no, it isn’t the only path to happiness. It’s a good one, Yes, but not the only.
She probably told you that so you'd be on her side . for all you know he left because she kicked him to the curb . then complained later .
Wow! Great conversation! I was married for 19 years, and he diminished all the work I did as a mother, house, cooking, and worked full-time, contributed to the family finances. I wasn't doing enough, I wasn't affectionate enough - Bruh, I'm TIRED!!!!! I was relieved to get divorced, sadly. But I was tired of the pressure and strain I experienced for more than 19 years. It's sad when you feel like a single mother when you're married. IF I get married again, I want a TRUE partner, a TRUE husband. But if it doesn't happen, I won't be sad - I'll never settle again!
I got divorced after 12 years. It occurred to me since I do it all myself, I may as well be single..plus I'd be happier too!
You said it perfect. Married but single 24 years. Today is my birthday. Just another day of cooking cleaning. We have 9 children. Baby 1. He spent most of the day on the PS5 and watching the US Open. He always says he's tired of me saying I'm unhappy so I won't say it. He can't tell either way.🤷🏾♀️
@@mrs.t3733 Sorry you're caught in that misery. However, want to wish you a Happy Birthday! You're quite a woman and deserve great things.
@@mrs.t3733 Happy belated birthday!!🎉🎉
@@mrs.t3733 Would he sacrifice his life to save yours?
This was a great conversation. Finally a married man having this conversation. Marriage is so much more than the man providing and the woman submitting.
But, these are the foundations. That's the problem. Modern day women and some men are building on mud instead of solid rock. I should know, I'm married to a feminine and submissive woman with a backbone.
I'm glad to read this. I'm at the beginning of the video, I don't know who Tony G is and one thing I know, is I'm tired of hearing single and divorcee tell people how to make a marriage work. I watch the ig live following this video so I'm looking forward to hear their conversation.
No, it’s not..
🙏🏽 yes
More about a man receiving than giving.
We don't call it being miserable, we call it "women's work" and we are raised and trained up to be this way. I do not know a single man who could juggle full time work, full time parenting, full time school, and full time housework. There's barely any room for self care but, we push through. This is precisely why we completely reject the notion of a 50/50 relationship. There is no 50/50 share of household duties etc. Look up the statistics on relationships after the wife or child gets very ill, the men leave. Most women are not single mothers hustling by choice, it's a necessity. Who's gonna raise these kids if we don't?
Imagine if mother's collectively abandoned their children like most men do!? Yet they love to throw it in our faces that we are or were raised by single mothers like they weren't either.
Not true at all. There are good single fathers and mothers. Don’t push division
I agree! Deep
Well said
Thank you
I cried through this whole interview and for the first time I believe someone saw ME as a woman and valued.
This level of empathy at so young age. I love that he didn't have to be an old worn out man to realize all of this😭🎯
👊🏽💙👊🏽
great point
Women have been saying what Tony said for decades and took for another man to say it for us for it to even be respected. Our voices aren’t heard or respected unless a man says it for us. Thank you Tony!!
Exactly.
Yes
Absolutely. Said exactly the same words and it has not been received. Very sad.
I’m hoping and believing for a shift as we have more men with character and integrity rise to the occasion.
My life ain’t miserable though. 😂it’s pretty peaceful.
And we hope this message reaches Men all around the World and let this be the beginning of change. Im hopeful.
Your right.
I also believe it is bitter & sweet. Almost like the magazine articles that are written by a woman about a man and she doesn't know what she is talking about, it's nice to hear a mans real prospective on a man and a woman that actually sounds studied and makes sense.
Men, the work isn’t done when you reach a certain tax bracket. Emotional intelligence for relationship health is needed at an all time high. Please heal. Thank you Tony for always highlighting this!
Yes - say that!
Facts.
Yes!!!
Or when he does something he considers not many men do like cooking and cleaning (not very well at that) and wants to be praised and brings it up every moment he gets.
At an ALL time high!!
Therapist here!!! 👋🏾👋🏾👋🏾 This is a therapist-approved conversation. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 The women are definitely tired, but thankfully more men are turning to therapy. I've counseled hundreds of men but many, many, many more of these conversations are needed! Thank you!
I hope you help them like a Wise Grandma or Auntie otherwise they'll be as confused and feminine as the wicked world..📺📱🎠🎥💻💸🎈🎪🔍🎭✋😕😐👍
This was truly a grown man’s conversation. Thank you Tony for your accurate translation of when a woman says “I don’t need a man”. When a real woman says this, most mean I don’t need just a man or any man just to say I got a man. What I do need is the “right” man. I need and desire the man where we connect at the spiritual, mental, emotional and physical planes. I need the man where we both have mutual respect for each other’s thoughts, feelings and roles. No competition with each other just complimentary to the other. So for a lot of women until that comes to fruition, we just keep working to better ourselves in every area of our lives and if we really desire to ascend we get to know, learn, correct and love who we are, so we can be our best selves for us as a person AND for the RIGHT MAN!!!
AMEN, CUZ. BOY’S CANNOT HANDLE A MAN’S REAL JOB!!!!!!!!!!!
To be honest, I've never heard a woman in real life say this phrase "I don't need a man!" I've only seen actresses say it on TV or in the movies. Or I've heard men tell me that women say this all the time. But I never bought that lie. I agree that women want the right kind of man though.
@@KayAnn2121 my cousin sister lives the "I dont need a man life", and it seems that she is really fine with it...
Exactly this! 💯 💯 💯
I just was having this discussion with my boyfriend this morning. Yes we can do it, but we are exhausted and should have to continue to take on the role of both the provider and the nurturer. I feel like we are forced to carry on the roles of both the man and the woman, meanwhile the men just have to go to work and come home to a meal and clean house.
We are forced & then called masculine all b/c they wanna be princesses.
Don’t ever allow yourself to be Forced to do multiple full time jobs in a relationship. You WILL come to resent it.
This!!
And it’s not right nor fair that women have to play both roles. Ugh.
Sad but true🥺
Tony is clearly spirit-led and I was so happy to see him on your platform. His understanding of our nature and concerns is SPOT ON. 👏🏾
💯
He is Feminine led to explain lies , when his wife gets to menopause and divorces him we will see where his spiritual delusion lands him at, The BIBLE never lies check thw Old testament.
Regardless. He has never been a woman. He don't know what it's like any more than a woman knows what it's like to be a man. Opinions and observations don't substitute experience
@@Dahmer_Jeff He is heading to one thing, that is bondage. When lust leads you ,you can't chastise the irresponsible women but blame men.
Yall fall for anything
A lot of us men have to realize our wife isn’t just our lover, that’s our best friend, partner supporter, fan and etc. it’s about valuing her as a human being and not just sharing your life with her but trusting her enough to let her in completely. Not just your world but your mind as well.
Wow thank you for saying this, especially the last part. Spot on!
What I find hard about relationships with men is that when a man is going through something he expects his girl to listen and provide emotional support.
When the tables turn and the women is depressed the man says I don't want to hear it, your too emotional, or you need to get over it. I honestly think this is the number one reason women cheat, because we get no emotional support from our spouses.
I don’t cheat, because of my vows, but I totally understand why it happens.
but y’all cheat on the men that open up their feelings and emotions to you
@@mattiaslp9645 no we all don’t. You should not open up to any woman, get to know who you talking to first.
Facts
Yes!!!
This proves just how courageous, honest and transparent Tony Gaskins is. It almost made me cry! I’m so proud of this wonderful man. 🙏🏻🙏🏻💚
I love TG. I honestly have gotten so triggered from his stuff that I left for awhile lol but I always come back for his rawness. It comes from love and it doesn’t hurt that he’s actually kinda funny it makes the truth easier to swallow when it’s coated with a comedic tone. Love the guy
Eh…his philosophy is weak. His UA-cam videos like he said are mostly subscribed by 95% women and that’s because he panders to women.
I love Tony for his maturity, for being married young and for his soul! And he is really funny! And he is handsome too!
So , let me ask you this question since you seems to be a woman.. Do you really think lets say every men goes to the gym, goes back to school upgrades and uplifts themselves now having 6 packs and making 6 figures .. Do you really think that these men will be choosing these over 30's women who are successful, some probably already have kids , some not that good shapes and who comes with their attitudes, loud mouth . Or it's more likely that these men would prefer to choose younger, less traumas , more years tp bare and have children and less toxic and less baggage .. Because i don't understand women logic , if average men are already chasing younger , with less traumas, body counts, baggage right now do you really think successful men will choose you ..
emotions supersedes your intelligence . this is why you was almost about to cry. he tapped into your feminism . lol
"Single men talking to other single men is the blind leading the blind....." Yessss! I've always been curious where men are learning to be married when 90% of viewers are women 🤔 Thank you so much Tony and Anthony! Woman are trying to learn this thing! Would love to see more content of single men trying to learn from married men how to Love and Lead effectively 😊
No thank u lol married men are out dated and don't know what's going on. What can a married man who been married for 20 to 30 years teach me about today's market. Stop the nonsense.
@@yardleyhbk They are not interested in teaching you how to date or have a squad. But they CAN teach you how to build, sustain, nurture a truly healthy and satisfying lifelong MARRIAGE with the mother of your children, or a blended family. That's what married men can teach you.
@@yardleyhbk Exactly! You cannot use the early 2000s formula and apply it in 2022 hoping that it will work.
But the only reason he is is because single women talking to single woman also the blind leading the blind
@@yardleyhbk a man married that long can teach you how to be a husband. A single man who carried himself like a husband becomes eligible for a different type of woman than single men who are just looking to get their member wet. The question is do you want to learn to be a husband?
Kudos, to single moms they do so much for our kids us as fathers need to hold ourself accountable & give these women the help they need they didn't create these kids on there own
❤
This is a beautiful conversation. Love to see grown black men having this discussion because it is so needed.
I’m married. And I felt every part of this. Tbh I feel miserable. That’s the perfect word to describe it. That’s why I’m leaving to do it on my own. Working on myself and loving myself. Great show!
How about trying to work on your marriage instead of leaving, especially if you have kids
Live your best life ❤ stay safe
@@desireebryant9523 Never get advice from women on dating and marriage. Number one mistake ..... women dont deal in logic and facts . with yawl everything revolves around your feelings at the moment . and misery loves company.
@@malcolmjordan6775we try working and working before we just give up and leave the marriage. It could literally be that man who refuses to work. Lastly, women were made emotional. Men and women have to learn how to work with the differences that the Lord gave us.
@@shomarinelson6017 take it up with our creator if you don't like our design.
I couldn’t even get through half without getting emotional. You don’t know how refreshing it is hear a man, a married man and a single man acknowledge this dude of women. A lot of us have lost hope because we have been stripped. I thank you so much for this content.
God's laws are for husbands not boyfriends .. We all learn
thissss
Tony Gaskins ministers to those who resonate. As a divorced, single mother, I have not had the pleasure of choosing to not be independent without the threat of being controlled (I was married 10 years).
However, I felt him when he said "Women are taught to be self-sufficient and not to depend on a man." Taking care of my children while I worked, even when they were sick and I got no sleep, went to work anyway, and all he had to do was send a check. Frustrated is an understatement.
Black men and women are broken. I am in therapy for other reasons. I do what I must. I blame no one for the house I built. But I am healing and being careful not to teach my children to be damaged.
Black women get the short end of the stick. We do a lot and get very little credit. Now we are being framed as angry, bitter, evil, etc. I don't seek domination. I respect and expect respect in return. Sadly, these guys do not want to give it.
Thank you for this podcast. Please bring him back. Anthony, I accept your apology. Thank you.
J
Men built their power on us like whites on black slavery. BM in America are the new WS . I m rude but i m ok with it
Facts everything you do is stepping on a man with a fragile ego you literally can do nothing but be quiet and I’m not over exaggerating that’s how fragile some men’s egos are, they can’t feel your intention or your love for their benefit because they are shallow with their self so they expect you to be as shallow. That’s why when you see two people, shallow men and women together then they break up and it’s crazy and simple, and literally stupid you be like what was they even doing though ? I cannot be in a superficial relationship I love myself I cant live this robotic fake life with you man lol I need you to be a boss validate yourself do your thing sir ! Lol and have character be solid be a leader be a bosssss. So many men focus on bravado with no masculinity 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I almost shed a tear Tony, only real women gone feel this and only real men gone take heed🥲
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes!
THIS.
💯💯💯
😂😂😂
A coworker of mine said his wife went on vacation with her family and freinds for a week or two and he said watching after their triplets his daughters he said it was the worst two weeks of his life. He said he didn't know how much work a wife at home do because he was at work all the time. He was so happy when she came back home.
Bet he cried in her arms when she came through the door!
@@chriscooks5437 🤣
Yes, we make it look easy.
That is what God built you for. Accept it .
Ephraim Akoto who's fighting it?
I've been raised all my life for it. we expect it, it's part of us. our bodies prepare every month.
what more do you want?
your children are your responsibility too, accept it! it's your duty to provide for them and step in when your wife is not available
I love Tony's words of wisdom. Can you imagine what empires we could build in the black community if our men were all as driven as we women are???
I think one of the problems we’re experiencing is in statements like this. Y’all really believe y’all are more driven ….I’m not here to say whether this is true or not. But as a driven person myself I jus want to ask where do you and people like you get the audacity? Even if you could properly quantify the numbers or rates outside of education rates (because y’all love to bring that up) what does it serve ? If your goal is to be better than black men congrats …but one of the main things pushing folks away from y’all is this arrogance. Don’t nobody want to sit at the table with y’all if think you’re more driven than anyone at the table. This isn’t a game show, you wanna be on the same team or not ?
Dumbest statement on the board. Women don't work as hoard as men or as long as men. Nor do you work in as dangerous of environments as men. The problem is, you idiots think you're better than men. & you're not. You want to be men....& compete w/ men. As illustrated by this asinine comment. I have ZERO sympathy for you. Yall stay letting these simps and panderers gas you up.
@@ljthirtyfiver you seem offended by her comment while it has nothing to do with you. 😄😄😄
@@Abundance26 why not respect is opinion and answer the question???
This is bringing me to tears… thank you for articulating what I, sooo many of my friends and other women I know having been feeling and have been trying to articulate to our men but have been left feeling so unheard and misunderstood
The moment Tony G., said women live a miserable life and then get talked down to!! That statement made me feel validated and understood! Which is why I’ve choosen not to date or be in relationships.A tears fell after that! It is soo much peaceful not to date and be subject to that anymore. I get a lot of flack, for feeling this way! But it’s just self preservation for me….even though I love black men. But I need one that loves God!
Continue loving on yourself
Everything you said. Amen💜
Amen!
AMEN💯💯💯✋🏿🖐🏾🖐🏾🖐🏾💣💣💣💣💣💥💥💥REAL TALK!!!!!!
Absolutely I 💯 agree. After years of trying to have this understood this is so much appreciated
Burnt 🥵 out , stressed out , exhausted is nothing I ever strive for. Balance, mental health, learning how to hire help etc. to be the best form of a woman you want to be. Take my time to enjoy life and actually be present , mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally is my ultimate goal each and every day 🙏🏼
Yes!!!!
💯
Successful men are the hardest to love. This is DEEP & ACCURATE! I feel like I am suffocating. I wish my husband would not only see this, but accept what is being said and change. Finally someone who can articulate what I am feeling and trying to express.
Money is the ROOT of EVIL!!!!! When you have too much of anything, it tends to make you loose your soul and do senseless things.
@@v.i.butterfly4779 wait so money is the root of all evil but we are pushing the same commodity to women to be financially successful and independent?
Women rising in entrepreneurship is great but a man studying the same is only about money? Sounds hypocritical.
This was SOOOO GOODD!!! The way he eloquently summed up the single BW struggle AND that of single moms...stay at home moms/wives... the fact that we cant do work AND motherhood/wife at 100% capacity in BOTH.. no release...our life is miserable/overly challenging...this was sooo refreshing...the TRUTH/TRANSPARENCY that was spoken in this episode was soo good... yes our men should get together to have the collective conversations to really be a discipleship for BM...cause if not... you're leaving the legacy of our people to the unhealed minds of single BM...Great Job Gentlemen...solute
As a woman in her 20s this was amazing for me to hear. This really warmed my heart. This conversation made me feel safe.🙏🏾 Thank you guys
A conversation between 2 men makes you feel safe?
Yes… I agree. The world can be a scary place. Listening to the podcasts of other males?!?! I’ve ducked and ran for cover. This level of reason and consideration makes a woman feel safe… Some 😊
He right! Too many single people who are not in committed relationships, or never been married telling people how it is to be in a happy successful relationship with gender roles they not executing themselves.
Your conversation is so needed. I’m not a black woman, I believe your words are applicable across all ethnicities. My mum was blessed to have my dad who was a beautiful man. I was a single mum and brought up my four kids who have turned out to be decent human beings who treat their partners and peers well. I had support from my parents and my dad was their role model. My ex husband was a father but always acted single, so many men are like that, they don’t have sincere respect for their partners or wives, and don’t understand the value of what a woman does.
Definitely applicable across races.
I am in tears because this is so true, so accurate and yet so heart breaking. We, as women, NEED men, contrary to what some may say.
This should have been an hour plus long show!!! Bring Tony back!!!
I second this motion!!! 30 mins just wasn't enough!!
Subscribe to his channel
As a woman, listening to this man, just made my eyes reared up. I thought men like this aged out and retired. I’m married and was giving up for younger women, after listening to men who follows the teachings of the manosphere and mammyspshare 🙏🏾Thank God, hope is still alive, whew😰😰
The sad thing is that there are older men who are completely oblivious of these things. I was married for 27 years. These are some of the reasons why I’m not married and remain single 8 years after being divorced. Men out here just don’t get it.
What's sad is you using ignorant terms like "mammyshpere..." But you're suppose to be the more mature woman. Smh...
This just popped up on my feed and as a woman (less than 10 minutes in) am here to comment "YES!!! He gets it!"! What a breath of fresh air to hear such a thoughtful perspective, between men on women. Thank you!
Gentlemen, I want to thank you for having this discussion. I had a very similar discussion with my husband of 20 years n its like he just dont get it, n totally ignores me. Ive reached the point Im ready to do what needs to be done n leave this man behind. I know I deserve better and hearing your conversation gives me hope. Again... Thank you for opening a discussion about this subject.
That’s sad to hear but I have hope for you. Have you showed him this content? Maybe he’ll accept the truth spoken by another man
Blessed Tribe, who else is here watching TG 🐐 🙌🏾🙌🏾
This is the second conversation I’ve heard today where men are holding other men accountable for raising the standard and maturing. Thank you gentlemen for speaking the truth!
let’s talk 📩:
Women in their heads have a fairy tale image what will supposedly happened if all of a sudden every men upgrades and uplifts themselves and becomes fully fit and successful.. As a man i have a reality checks for you women.. Men who becomes successful fully fits will automatically choose younger, with less body counts, less traumas, no kids and many years to bare and have children.. base on my experiences and what i am seeing in the black community most of these so called successful black women are very far from these .. They are over 30, 35, 40, not that in shape , have kids , louds mouth and horrific attitudes nothing what men really wants and looking for in a wife .. Money and success won't change men preferences it will just give them more and better choices amongst young women. and i didn't even mentioned looks you might need to be a 7,8,9 to be even on their lists..
This video just validated how far behind men are in all areas. Stay single and safe ladies
yikes
Great conversation I literally cried ...especially when he said money shouldn't be the thing we orbit around. When I retire and get old I want a garden, dogs, cats too, tons of grandkids , and money in my account to maintain our lifestyle. I imagine the quality of my future relationships and imagine reaping the benefit of what I've cultivated ; freedom to attend the plays, school pick ups , sunday diner breakfast, writing and having a comfortable home.
AYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!!! I love seeing my favorite influencers link up! I can’t wait for this to drop! LETS GOOOOOOOOOO!
let’s talk📩
My thoughts EXACTLYYY🙌🏼
Agreed❣️
I needed this conversation. Especially the money part. Wow
Right?!!! Being part of Tony's tribe, I clicked on this video so fast!!!!❤❤❤
As a Caucasian male in the United States who has a mother who has dated a successful Black man for over 20 years, her boyfriend does not treat my mother with respect and it is sad to me too see that her boyfriend after 20 years does not support her in the fashion to be successful!!! This is sad to me because I believe that if you are in a relationship after 20 years, MEN need to support the decisions of their significant other!!!! My mom's boyfriend still lives as though he is a single male which is absolutely astounding to me!!!! Kudos to both of you for extending the "plain truth" that a lot of men need to start realizing!!!!
Tell your mom to run. They don’t change
Oh wow that's .......
Well I don't even know what to say about this.
I guess you never hear that one . I hope this didn't bring hate in your heart for the culture. If nothing else you be the light in your mom's life when you go around her & Remember you don't have to be with the guy or even like him to support her or love her. Thanks for sharing and being honest!
I am impressed by both of these men. Tony Gaskins is one of the few men that understand the psychology behind women AND men. Powerful. Not even many women can comprehend how the opposite gender thinks and this dude has done it flawlessly. And his life is an example of what he teaches. 900,000 on Instagram with an IPHONE. No editing. This is crazyyy
I TOTALLY AGREE! I was kind of shocked to see Tony on there at all…my first thought was hmmmm, I have NEVER seen Tony on any one else’s platform! I love when he broke it down about why no one invites him because they they want this kind of conversation, but it is MUCH NEEDED…Thank You! ❤️
FINALLY somebody gets it. I lived in a marriage for 13 years to a man living a miserable life going through EXACTLY what Tony described. The public disrespect to belittle me, the verbal and physical abuse, the baby mama drama (which I never brought to our relationship with my other children's father) The lack of emotion, unappreciation of me physically helping him on his job when NO OTHER WOMAN he cheated on would do. Unappreciative of me spending time with his 6 other children from other women, all while having 3 children with him was too much! My self esteem was broken, in the end the marriage was not worth it. I LEFT and haven't looked back. I'm happy that I did, My life is 100 times better!!!
I love Anthony's facial expressions in response to Tony's wisdom. He really awakened to the truth and isn't ashamed to speak it, even sharing the divine message he heard from God. It's heartening to see a man speak so compassionately about the fairer gender. The mistreatment and dismissal of women systemically in society has been normalized far too long, it feels safer for most women to be single. It's choosing self-respect and the only relationship we should be in is one of mutual equality, compassion and respect. Otherwise, stay free, ladies. Don't even date beneath you. You're worthy of everything you are. ❤ The men who are seeking to understand this, may you too find everything you are. 😍
Yes
Protect these men at all cost 💯🙏🏾
I am so glad that Tony Gaskins explained what "Independent Woman" means. It does not mean that a man cannot do anything for us or that we do not want him to do anything for us. For those of us who had Godly parents; they taught us to get an education so that we may be able to take care of ourselves in case life does not work out the way you want it to work out for you. Also, my parents taught us to be a blessing to the world through the professions that God led us into. We were not to sit around and look for men that we could be "Dependent" upon so that one day we would not be labeled as an "Independent Woman." They taught us that was Dangerous, with no education or skill and not being able to care for yourself leaves the door open to putting up with abuse, possible neglect of yourself or your offspring. Being a Proverbs 31 woman does not describe what so many of our brothers are spewing out of what God wants a woman to be. A Proverbs 31 Woman in todays society might be labeled as an "Independent Woman." It is a cry for Ungodly control of women is what so many are now promoting. As women; we are the weaker vessel; we must ask God for and use Godly wisdom.
Well written and true
Thank you for mentioning the Proverbs 31 woman misconception. Sister had about 8 income streams and managed her home well.
Women are not weak, we are just different. If women were the weaker vessel, the universe wouldn't have granted us with the superpower of creating new life. Know and walk in your power. 💛
@@drcatrinaking So that life gets created out of thin air right
Very well said.
Thank You Tony- for putting yourself in our shoes. Tony wins with his Empathy and his gift of articulation ❣️
Wow! Finally a man that breaks it down correctly and actually understands! Thank you for this video. It actually made me cry.
Being a wife and a mother is a thankless experience. You spend all your time taking care and serving others, but who is serving us? Add to that the demands of work, church, community, etc... it's EXHAUSTING... not miserable, but exhausting. We want men who are partners... emotionally, spiritually, financially, educationally, domestically, physically... we don't want to raise a grown man into a partner. If these men would do the work that we HAVE to do as women, we could come together and be able to excel in common purpose...
It's a thankless experience?!? You're kidding me right? I can assure you it pales in comparison to being a father and husband. I can't believe I read that.
@@jakethethird1584 well believe it causes it’s true who are you to devalue someone’s experience no one is comparing who has it worst
Spot on with this comment that I have been conveying for a long time
@@victoriarobinson988 Nothing is ever enough. It's almost like y'all want to be worshipped.
@@jakethethird1584 can you go get a life your giving very bitter and jealous vibes worship women because without us would be no you
Please talk about the women/wives who are bringing home 6 figures, taking care of the children, cooking, cleaning and holding down the house. We are the miserable ones!
Yes….We work sooooo hard!!
@Angela Bridges why aren't you getting help? I know plenty of women who don't make 6 figures who higher a maid to help clean and some who higher chefs for meals at least a couple of times a week. We've been conditioned to feel shame if we're not doing it all because that's what older women did. No thanks, I'm not a mule. What's the point of making the money if it doesn't help you live a soft life?
@@julie1393 maids are expensive and I haven’t found one that does a good job. Not worth the hassle. Plus I don’t want someone all in my house like that.
🙄
A woman having a six figure career is a choice.
My mom told her best friend to make her son to be self sufficient when she learned that he could not wash his own clothes when he was a teen. Today he’s a preacher, versus responsible, great dad etc. The biggest thing she said was your son is gonna make a woman miserable and that made his mom step up because she understood. I blame the state of men now on their moms. Most of them want their son to rely on them forever.
Why are you still shifting the blame solely to a woman? Excluding the father that made him? That’s the problem; men are not held responsible and every ball we drop; we’re still blamed.
I'm here for Tony! Thanks for this and the men out there willing to learn how to make relationships work!!
I was about to cry with just looking at the opening scene. I was miserable in my marriage because my husband made me feel like a maid and I work full time in a good paying job.
He walked out on me after he physically assaulted me and my daughter and had the audacity to think we are getting back together. Whoooooo!!!! Tony spoke the truth!! This episode is hitting home!!! I would love to have another husband after this one but why? I’ve been treated like this in two of my marriages. I’m not a maid! I’m a companion and a partner!
Do your healing sis.. mentally, emotionally and physically. Pray often and simply love yourself more. And the right one will come 💜
@@Haneefrjordan I pray 🤲🏽 5 times a day at least. I’m at peace without him. If another good man comes along I will pray on it for guidance.
Get your healing, learn from your two failed marriages, so that the third one will not be the same as the others.
@@missj5564 May I not get the same husband again! 😊
@@DarkJustice1999 understood
I’m happy to see Tony Gaskins Jr branching out to the other solid men in the community. Tony was hesitant at first. I’m a fan of you both. Thanks for the collab!
Yes. He kept me informed during the pandemic!
Yes!!!
Such a dynamic duo🥰‼️
Truth be told. Many men NEED their wives to work. Yes it makes them feel some kind of way but most are not willing to give up those ends (her money) in order to let her rest in her feminity. Men want a certain lifestyle/income and status as well and getting a woman with a decent income is one way to achieve it
Tony said that this guy was the first to ever invite him onto his platform
Thank you for clarifying that we not out here saying we don’t need a man!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wow... AO.. you have no idea the weight this lifts off my shoulder .. to know there are more men seeking to understand and influencers working in that direct is quite relieving... Thank You! AND we don't have to SIMP to overgrown adolescent men to build an audience.
Love listening to men who are a wonderful husband to their wives. I’m taking notes to the type of husband I want. Thank you Tony ❤️
Finally someone gave clarity to the sentiment of "I don't need a man." Its not about arrogance, but about knowing that we can/have to be self-reliant. Thank you Mr. Gaskins for shining some much needed light on this important topic.
let’s talk 📩;
These men know that, they’re just playing fool to catch wise.
A woman is whole all by herself. They're the one's out buying it not us
That's a lot of bull. He did a good job of pandering to your emotions. But why is he justifying women who aren't prepared to be good wives? Being a "boss bit** or 7 figure earner does not equate to wifely skills.
@@dragonfly4494 facts
You got to give a woman some balance in life! That's the key to relationships!
Its funny cause as a single woman, I run my own small business and work a lot to take care of myself and build something for myself.
The last person I dated gaslit me. Was emotionally abusive and we were only dating for 6 months. I felt like I wasted 6 month crying and being frustrated and confused.
He was looking for a sugar momma. Someone who had everything he wanted already and he could just move in and take over.
After all the bad relationships I dealt with this one took the cake. I asked myself why go through that when im providing for myself. I might as well invest in my business and be prosperous rather than waste time chasing men who didnt contribute to my life.
I dont have time for it. I have no kids and not husband and I am very very happy! Once I realized I didn't have to be under the pressure of a relationship cause other people made it seem like it was necessary for life, I felt set free!
I see so many people in miserable relationships I would prefer to be single and happy and get a cat or dog.
If I meet someone, then great but im not chasing anyone ever again. Im going to chase my own health and wealth and peace of mind.
HalleluYah Sister!
👏🏾👏🏾
I really felt that statement when you said, “Someone who had everything he wanted already and he could just move in and TAKE OVER.”
So you chose a bum??
🎯🎯🎯🎯💞💞💞
This is the level of understanding, consideration and empathy quality women are seeking! If we are not perfect why would we expect a man to be? Perfection isn’t what we ever asked for, but compassion and unconditional however a man is purposed by God to give it is what most are being starved of. I hope the men listen with discernment, this man doesn’t play or pander!
Women in their heads have a fairy tale image what will supposedly happened if all of a sudden every men upgrades and uplifts themselves and becomes fully fit and successful.. As a man i have a reality checks for you women.. Men who becomes successful fully fits will automatically choose younger, with less body counts, less traumas, no kids and many years to bare and have children.. base on my experiences and what i am seeing in the black community most of these so called successful black women are very far from these .. They are over 30, 35, 40, not that in shape , have kids , louds mouth and horrific attitudes nothing what men really wants and looking for in a wife .. Money and success won't change men preferences it will just give them more and better choices amongst young women. and i didn't even mentioned looks you might need to be a 7,8,9 to be even on their lists..
We ain't listening, we realize we can take care of ourselves and save for a comfortable retirement without women wasting our money and divorcing us later while giving birth to a prisoner,s babies.
@@ephraimakoto3657 That was very specific…sounds like regurgitated red pill bs. That’s what YOU CHOOSE to FOCUS on. Energy goes where attention flows and sir your forecast is looking really cloudy with a 95% chance of rain. I’m always optimistic, even with a broken heart. It’s how I manage love and even life. You may not listen, but I would advise to redirect your attention and transform that negativity into something a lot more positive. ☀️
The only man I take serious relationship advice from! Love Tony!!
Exactly!
Thank you for this message, King. With that being said, there are also women who hold down the household, children, her man and a career. These women are carrying so much with little to no appreciation.
There are more women holding down the fort than actual men..
It's great to hear men have conversations like this. Healthy conversations about relationships. I recently asked if women are feeling tired of doing it all. Looking forward to seeing more healthy love, especially healthy black love. Thanks for sharing this.😊
As a stay at home mom who is 3months pregnant I feel soo heard rn. My husband and I are starting the turo business and it's tough. Men get soo excited about new projects and dollar signs that it takes up all their mental and forget everything and everyone else.
Yea did Turo need multiple vehicles to make a decent profit
What is Turo? As a sahm mom of 2 toddlers, I completely understand you
@@sossoft it’s an app that lets others rent your vehicle .
❤️ sending you love strong lady. Make sure your herd & seen x
As a WHOLE WOMAN (wanting a WHOLE MAN), I approve this message! 👑💛
I hear you Queen.
Tony I’m 48 years old and I’ve always felt that you were wise beyond your years… sooooo many men young and old just don’t get how to embrace and connect with a black woman.
Thank you ❤
Hello! Sooo...I'm here because of @tonygaskins! Thanks for inviting this incredible man to your platform. I've been following him for a few years now. He's consistent, he's solid, and he's THE TRUTH! Please keep this kind of healthy material coming. We need it!! 🙏🏽😍💯💪🏽
I don't think that it's that we as women don't want or need a man...we just don't want a particular type of man.
Tony's delivery was definitely presented in a way that truly articulated how most women feel. Excellent discussion...would love to see you all collab more.
Women make it clear who they want by their choices, and the men they raise.
If we are having an epidemic of single motherhood in the black community, and women are complaining about men, wouldn’t that inherently say that women are raising the very men they claim to not want to date?
@@Superiorman923 Sir, I see the logic you are trying to use however I believe that the generalization is what may cause your message to be somewhat misunderstood. Singles mothers aren't mothers by themselves and there are a number of reasons women end up as single parents. Therefore, you don't get to blame single mothers for the state of men today. At some point, a man (and a woman) has to grow beyond their parenting or lack there of and take accountability and responsibility for their own life. To blame single parents is to say that black men are locked in a perpetual state of arrested development and refuse to become men because they didn't have this person or that person. At some point, you have to own your own life. Also, let's not forget that some black men who were "raised" in the same household as their father end of having the same outcome as the others. It's a choice...a personal choice for both men and women alike.
Also, there's too much of this men v women...we can't and won't win if we are always looking to place blame.
@@born2reign90 allow me to correct myself. I don’t blame women for the failures of men, sorry if it came across that way. I was only making an observation.
As men we we will never become who we are supposed to be in our homes and communities until we accept full responsibility for our lives. That is one of his points that I agreed with.
However, we cannot deny that women are directly responsible for raising some of the men they claim they don’t want.
Why the quotations around raised when mentioning them in the same household as the father?
@@Superiorman923 That's fair...the reason for the quotations when referring to being "raised" with fathers was because some ppl are raised in a two parent home and yet still experienced having an absentee parent. The quality of the parent(s) is what matters, in my opinion, and has the greatest impact.
Also,
@@born2reign90 Excellently put 💯
I have been doing a breakdown for men who think 50/50 is the way to go. My husband used to be on that 50/50 rant until my dad sat him down and explained to him how I was raised.
I’m able to rest in my femininity because I’m not stressed out about working and maintaining the household.
He does have one issue with me. I have no problem putting furniture together. I just don’t think he should go to and then come home to work. I pull out my pink toolset and do it while he’s at work.
I’m definitely going to rewatch this again with my husband. These are definitely some serious nuggets.
Girl I love putting furniture together too even ikea furniture 😅
Lol. Loved this post. Speaking the truth with kindness ♥️
Glad your father was able to make the conversation with your husband. There isn't alot of men willing to discuss deep issues such as the 50/50.
@@roshonda8562 men of faith generally tend to want to be providers in the marriage, because that is the way of God. Therefore, choosing them might be a better option.
Love this!
I could not believe this conversation was happening! Tony captures and interprets relationships and roles in a way I have never heard especially in Church! Kudos👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Why am I not surprised he asked Tony to match him with a 7 figure woman. Smh . Still so much to learn. It doesn't seem to matter, young old rich or poor, most of them are still stupid.
!!!!
This is some truth. Out of all the men I have dated, only 1 I felt actually cared about me as a person. Most only talked about themselves, never cared about me, but expected me to be devoted to them. Why should I? You are right I don't need a man to survive, but I would love a partner to take the load off, and I for him too. A partnership. But most men want a maid. It's discouraging.
Its a blessing to listen to a mf talk about themselves...u learn what u r getting yourself into by listening.
This is how I think too
Most married men are sick and stressed, don't want to be one.
@@ephraimakoto3657 R u a man?
@@ephraimakoto3657 most married men live longer, healthier than men who are not married. Most married men are happier than men who are not. However, relationships and marriages are changing.
This live was so impactful! It was encouraging to see men of God being vulnerable, honest and self-aware about real struggles they have in relationships/marriage. Hope this video reaches millions!
It’s unfortunate that black men are usually never in the comments of conversations like this.
Tony Gaskins transparency is what sets him apart. He’s one of very few that I continue to watch and get advice from consistently regardless of what season I’m in.
A woman's life IS miserable, both on a personal level & relationship wise and sadly men refuse to acknowledge & be empathetic. We go through all kinds of struggles only by virtue of being biological female, then we meet these men who just make things worse. Yet we are rising and thriving against these odds, & loving God through it all. A time is coming when men will have themselves to blame, but we & by ourselves will be ok!
Yes they see a woman perfectly fine , nothing wrong and completely destroys her life and soul and gives her ptsd . No thank you
@@Bayo106 the ratio of women to men is outrageous, then you throw in the additional missing blk men from society, after considering this it amazes me that men continue to say “choose the right men” when not enough men are living right and fit to lead.
I saw a study on time that says that men have a very hard time being empathetic.
This was so real and Raw! And they say we’re the “Gold Diggers.” But look who’s mind is always focused on money.🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Loved this conversation, very necessary. 💜
"Either learn me, or I'm a lesson." ~H.E.R.
This conversation was so healing it brought tears to my eyes; because, as a woman, I am tired. We cater to our men to still be told that it’s not enough, we’re not enough. To hear men talk about accountability, leadership, understanding, the true meaning of independence, and valuing women in a healthy relationship dynamic is what I’ve been waiting for to “show up” in my life. I’ve always said I’m independent in the sense that I’ve been blessed and fortunate enough to be able to provide and take care of myself. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t need or want a man. This was needed. Thank you for this grown man conversation. Excellent show!
This brother is speaking facts!!!! Had me 🤔 thinking, I gotta change some things I’m doing in my own marriage. Get information. Bring him back for another interview.
Well you are doing the work by being here and listening... I rarely see men in these kind of post they are not hearing or listening...
Your acknowledgement is the big step and your changing will be the results of your understanding... Give her intimacy and presence and she will change and redirect herself/behavior as well especially if she values the marriage and family...
My word for life is mutually... A mirror reflects its image it's a 100% exchange...
He has his own UA-cam channel. Check it out
DO YO MF THANG
@@badcalimui5475 absolutely
I love me some Tony Gaskins!!! He is one of the best life coaches for women. I love what he preaches.
I hadn't heard of him before but have shared this discussion.
My ex labeled me selfish unappreciative and never satisfied... He said, I can give you my right arm and you won't be satisfied. I said, you're right because the only thing I ever wanted was your heart and I never got it. Keep the money bags trips cars homes ... A woman craves genuine love from her man. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loves the Church". 💣
Finally!!!!! AO, I accept your apology! 🥰 I hope this conversation will change the narrative that is being spewed out here about women and what we want. In the first 15 minutes Mr. Gaskins expressed my exact sentiments. I really enjoyed this conversation and level of comprehension.
Women have found another panderer for them…especially black women.
Women in their heads have a fairy tale image what will supposedly happened if all of a sudden every men upgrades and uplifts themselves and becomes fully fit and successful.. As a man i have a reality checks for you women.. Men who becomes successful fully fits will automatically choose younger, with less body counts, less traumas, no kids and many years to bare and have children.. base on my experiences and what i am seeing in the black community most of these so called successful black women are very far from these .. They are over 30, 35, 40, not that in shape , have kids , louds mouth and horrific attitudes nothing what men really wants and looking for in a wife .. Money and success won't change men preferences it will just give them more and better choices amongst young women. and i didn't even mentioned looks you might need to be a 7,8,9 to be even on their lists..
@@TA-ht4jo true. Women are the problem men too but women moving like men now
@Square Peg Tony is the latest woman panderer. Before him y'all had Steve Harvey, Oprah, Maury, and pretty much every TV show and media personality to pander to women.
And speaking of Kevin Samuels and a few women who spoke on men's behalf, women like y'all called him a woman basher and called the women "pick mes." So miss me with the bs.
Women just don't know how to take responsibility for anything.
@Square Peg 👏🏾
This reflects a man giving advice from a place of knowledge and experience with a right heart. And he’s right that other “relationship experts” are single and telling others how to have relationships…smh…
Because they have sacrificed and endured divorce before, many American men are getting married in Africa and are happy here.
PROTECT THIS MAN AT ALL COSTS!!! A REAL MAN THAT GETS IT! 🏆👏🙏
This is sooo real, but it also happens when you’re as a women makes the money , and still trying to run home. Thank you!! God Bless!!
Excellent interview! I wish it was longer!!! Conversations like these are going to help move our culture forward!
The hardest part for me is having a huge family full of real men…then grew up went out into the dating world and don’t see a reflection of my environment. Men don’t make excuses. They see a problem and fix it. That’s how I was raised. I was raised to be a wife but I refuse to get married more than once. So, Ill wait! Once my dad saw what was being presented his entire narrative changed. He started saying “I never thought I would say this but you’re either going to have to date older men or another race. Bcuz this is sad!” He wants his daughters to marry and have fruitful… healthy… happy lives! Not just settle
Yes, your father is correct(Date out), But now marriage, emotional relationships, and fatherhood holds no value, incentives, or enjoyment for the man at all. Why would we sign up to be mentally executed by women and society?
I'm apart of his Acadamy & met him back in 2017 at one of his seminars. I been following Tony since he came on the scene & he has taught me so much as a woman about men & relationships!! I'm staying connected
Women in their heads have a fairy tale image what will supposedly happened if all of a sudden every men upgrades and uplifts themselves and becomes fully fit and successful.. As a man i have a reality checks for you women.. Men who becomes successful fully fits will automatically choose younger, with less body counts, less traumas, no kids and many years to bare and have children.. base on my experiences and what i am seeing in the black community most of these so called successful black women are very far from these .. They are over 30, 35, 40, not that in shape , have kids , louds mouth and horrific attitudes nothing what men really wants and looking for in a wife .. Money and success won't change men preferences it will just give them more and better choices amongst young women. and i didn't even mentioned looks you might need to be a 7,8,9 to be even on their lists..
Thank you both for having this conversation!
Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing my story; not just my story but many of our story. Thank you AO for doing this. You guys see us. Y’all see us.
Gentlemen, this was an excellent conversation: a lot of men needed to hear this conversation and a lot of women needed to hear this authentic conversation. Anthony we can see your growth, keep moving forward. Bring this guest back for another powerful conversation.
Ha your funny lol. No men need to worry about their careers and avoiding marriage. Sylvester Stallone wife just divorced him after 25 years. If he cant keep a wife then no average man can. That's all I need to know.
@@LILDroidDEX Why did she divorce him ?
Exavier Tisdell you dont want to learn from his mistakes and make your own relationship work?
oh I saw people die in an accident so imma walk to work and never use a car ever!
J barnes ya we all need to do better. all of us
@@Goddess_Infinity Girl they NEVER evaluate the WHY 😒 Smh, they think they’re perfect because they are men and we’re just written off as the “crazy” ex gf.