This is so sad. I'm an actress past model in L.A. The belly of the beast. I was never thin enough, tall enough, pretty enough, etc... It's our culture and it doesn't effect men in the same way. It's sick! It also sells a ton of products and keeps us "in our place" as we're too busy hating on ourselves and trying to improve to look around and say, "WTF?" Thanks for this video Erin.
*keeps us in our place* is exactly what I was thinking as I was watching. Why is it that SO much of what men do keeps us down? We’ve bought into it so much that in addition to hating ourselves we judge each other so harshly. We should be lifting each other up and up! And, that’s what I endeavor to do!❤️
It IS sad. You've dealt with this on an even deeper level. It's not fair, and it's toxic. Time to demand a change, and it starts within. Thank you so much for sharing your own viewpoint here, Irene. xo
Ironically I wanted to reply that for the last couple of years I have been working as a construction worker in tbe skilled trades. I walk around grubby, sweaty, and no makeup but never have felt so good about myself and get admiring looks all the time. It is very physical and it helps to be in good shape.
You asked us to share so here it goes: I had lots of trauma in my life - most of it in my family of origin. I tried sooooooo many different things including EMDR, hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy, medications, and the list goes on. Nothing worked until I totally gave my life to Jesus and let Him show me how loved and precious I am. The hardest thing for me is to just be still in His presence and let Him heal me. Like you I am still on this journey but I have had miraculous healings so far (that doctors cannot explain) of many health issues including very bad physical, mental, and emotional issues. In order to love yourself fully you first need to learn what love is. I did not know what love was until Jesus showed me. Now I am able to love myself and therefore love others. I'm living my best life now and it keeps getting better! Sending you lots of hugs and love! 🥰 Erin, you are beautiful just because you are. From a gal in Canada who is turning 50 in November.
I agree 100%! I tried all the other things as you did. But allowing Jesus to really hold my heart and work with Him spiritually has made all the difference!! It is an on going journey....but a joyful one! It started with a book by Neil Anderson called The Bondage Breaker. Being mindful of how I spend my time, what I watch on TV, what I listen to etc. Finding these videos that Erin is putting out here is the icing on the cake I need! Blessings and joy ladies!
When my exhusband moved out, even though I was so upset, people started telling me how wonderful I looked. I realized the lack of stress, and the fact that it was now safe to sleep at night started showing in my face and posture.
Oh gosh Erin, you hit on so many of my issues. As an ex- model, who is now 50, a wife and mother of 5 boys and being in the midst of the big Menopause roller coaster. There are good days and bad days and I am trying to give myself a break. I have spent a lifetime of criticism for being too thin or to fat, having my measurements taken and being weighed on a scale in my bra and underwear weekly at the agency to see if I was “skinny” enough only to be told I needed to gain because I was too thin once I lost the weight. I too have carried trauma and shame and find it hard at times to love myself ( well if I’m being honest most of the time) So much of what you said in this video resonates with me. I cried with you several times. Most people ask me how I do it, how I look so wonderful after having all those kids and Even though I smile and say thank you, I think to myself “ She must be seeing things that I do not see. I do have days where I feel good so I look good and can actually love myself a little but unfortunately those days are few and far between. I am going to consider some of the therapies you suggested. I debated several times wether I should even write this online, but I read through the comments and saw that I am not alone. We are not alone in the struggle and it’s support that I get from watching you be so real that encourages me. Thank you Erin. Lots of tears today. 😢
I’m so happy for you Erin that you are taking this path! The journey is worth it. A few years back I stopped giving compliments based on appearance. This was key for me. No more,” you have pretty hair “ or “ or your so slim” etc. the only way I comment on a woman’s appearance is to say, “ I like your style”, “ I like the way you paired that together” or even “ I like the way you do your makeup “. Because now I’m complimenting her ability instead of appearance. This has helped me and I also hope it helps other women shift their mind set. It’s ok to realize that an older or even old woman isn’t beautiful in the same way a 25 yr old is and that’s ok! It’s a hard truth of life but I’m accepting it. Hopefully a life of goodness radiates from within and shines outwards. And that is the beauty that others see. I had to confront my belief that beauty was part of my value. How messed up is that?! We’re valuable just because we’re God’s creation. We are his children and that simple fact, means we have inherent value. Sorry for the long message, but I feel so passionately about this. Hope this helps someone.
One of the best compliments I've ever gotten was when I was doing school supply shopping with my 2 kids. This woman said "Oo...I love your whole look, you have such a great energy". I was blown away. What a great compliment! I will never forget it!
At more than 6 decades of life, I look back at things that bugged me about my looks in my 40’s, 50’s and have to laugh. Taking care of your physical health, diet, etc. really does pay off - you are correct to advocate that. I feel more joy with age and somewhere along the line learned to accept compliments. Embrace the joy of where you are, Erin. Relative to me and likely other listeners, you are still young!
Amen sister! I so agree with you. I can still walk, hike, and do yoga. I am so grateful for what my body can do. I work on my inner woman instead of focusing on the shell. I love the person God created because I am able to love God and love people within this body. I simply get up and do the next right thing. Oh, and I laugh a whole lot with my family and friends.
I agree, Teresa. We hate the way we look now, but when I look at my photos from 10-20 years ago, I wonder what was I complaining about back then? I looked good. But it certainly wasn’t my frame of mind back then.
It took me most of my life to come to these realizations. I was molested as a child and hospitalized due to that molestation by the time I was 13, my female organs were pretty well trashed. I’m currently in my 60’s, have had lots of therapy in several modalities…all of it helps. Learning to love ourselves is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. I was always reaching to capture the 10# weight loss to feel better in my own skin. I never felt attractive, never felt worthy, never felt enough until about 5 years ago. I went through a very rough time, a time that I didn’t think I would live through. It took that experience for me to realize that I am enough, I am worthy and I am beautiful! Preach the good fight sister! We are all worthy! We are all beautiful! Thank you Erin
Amen! Thank you for sharing because I'm not feeling good about myself. Looking into the mirror telling myself will be a miracle. I've been chasing a size 8 for 23 years. I have given up! I feel fat, have a big stomach, and nothing looks good on me.
It is astounding reading through the message board how many women have suffered molestation in early childhood... including myself. The women are also around my same age...body image is a negative factor in plodding through life...so much therapy...years of mental work on ourselves...I pray that the next generation can soar freely from this plight. Keep working ladies on your mental journey towards healing. I am MUCH better and so I know it is possible to get there. Thank you Aaron for bringing this to light...your struggle is just as real and I know I could say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and CREATIVE but you have to be in the space to receive it, I pray you get to that point.
Well you made me cry and I'm thankful for it. Aging is so freakin difficult for women and I remember you talking about not becoming invisible. I look in the mirror and say I love you and you matter. I stopped obsessing about my weight by eating better and practicing self care. We are worthy, and we matter. Love you Erin, so brave and courageous.
I'm literally STUNNED that you've made this video. Just a couple days ago I was saying, I really need to draft my feelings and thoughts to share with Erin about how all of the sudden, thanks to her, the light switch has really come on about finding my true style and fashion. At almost age 54, I've decided to really revamp my entire wardrobe and enhance my style, and in some ways, who I am because of it, in that, you always say that we tend to feel our best when we think we look great and stylish, which is true! Anyway, I wanted to tell you how much I've learned from you and how I'd been watching you on and off for a number of years, just not on a regular basis, and in Sept of 2020 when I saw your video about not drinking, I quit drinking for 6 months and it made a huge impact on my face and body. I started again due to some extremely stressful circumstances that were occurring in my life last spring, and just a month ago, literally, on 8/14, I watched that video again and decided to stop and hopefully never go back. The main reason, other than it's expensive and ultimately detrimental on many levels, is because I am getting close to menopause. Believe it or not I'm still regular like clockwork, even at almost 54! That said, I've been doing some intermittent fasting and trying to really pay close attention to my body because I'm someone who has struggled with it my entire life. I struggled with eating disorders and self loathing for pretty much all of my life and even at the time's when people were always praising me and telling me how great I look. I just could NOT accept it for my own self. I recently was watching one of your videos and I was noticing things you said about your shape, and I was saying to myself, it's so wonderful how she's so comfortable in her body, no matter what goes on, before she lost weight gained from menopause, after she lost weight from it, then went to Europe and said she gained some again... she is always SO seemingly accepting of herself and I just wish I could be like that. When you talked about your husband giving you compliments and how you feel about others complimenting you, we are exactly on par with one another. When I truly think about it, I know I am an attractive woman and I know the blessings that I've been given, but I still don't take those compliments and accept them in a way that is healthy or that makes me experience healthy satisfaction from being complimented, which is abnormal and dysfunctional. Anyway, I am just so astounded by this video that I needed to comment and say THANK YOU. Thank you for being someone who's SO REAL. It really is like having a true friend that we can all come to and recieve such uplifting, and powerful advice from. It's never been so relevant for us older women than it is now. In fact, the world young people are growing up in now is "filtered", on almost every level, impatient, often ungrateful, lacking grace, and in many ways, even dignity. WORST of all, it lacks a lot empathy. The very least thing that we should all be able to do is to love ourselves enough to be able to hopefully love others, because hurting people all too often, hurt othe people. Thank you again for shining a light in a very dark place. I love you, Erin...God bless you, your entire family and all your followers ❤️
Hi Michele, I had regular periods until 56 and then they were regular in time, but as heavy as heavy could be! They finally stopped at 58. My Mum was 57. Sounds like you're in our camp. Just a warning about them being really heavy - be prepared. If they had started when you were at home, you wouldn't have gone out, but of course they start at work!! Needing to change every 3/4 of an hour or so is a big nuisance. I hope that is a bit of practical help with all of the things you have been through.
girl! I have a belly for the first time in my life (meno pot) and there are days that I really struggle with it. Most days I authentically don't mind my little belly at all - but on those other days it is rough. Hugs to every single woman out there feeling this. Yoga has been life changing for me because most days I own and love this belly. My body is strong and healthy - and IMHO that is what is truly beautiful!
Oh my god same. .. I NEVER had a belly or rolls, I do now and I’m don’t know how to deal with new body. I have not had sex with my hubby in over 8 mos cuz I hate the way I look and do not feel sexy
I had someone tell me recently that I looked good and was thin. She said, "I would love to be your size." I told her, "no I still need to loose weight." I have been taking dramatic measures to better myself in this area(not good). The compliment I was given reminded me that what I don't like about myself, another woman would love to have. Likewise, I always look at women that I wish I could look like and be more like. I wonder if they see themselves like I do, as beautiful. Like you said, comparisons can be really unhealthy. I am a therapist and see all walks of life. People have very wonderful lives in my eyes, but they aren't happy, even suicidal. I have also spoken with many women who have really been through VERY hard lives. I can't explain why people are born into hard situations (abuse as child, etc.). I also think, wow 'and I thought my life was hard," but there they are working through it all, despite horrible situations. It has taught me a ALOT along the way...life can be very hard, but it can always be better by NEVER GIVING UP, and as you said, being kind and loving ourselfves!.. Telling ourselves we are strong, and even if we don't see it. I believe that GOD gave us purpose, but that is another whole conversation. Someone on here talked about complimenting others and that is SUCH a good point! You really don't know what someone else is going through. One small compliment could do more than you know. Erin, what a good video!- I'm glad you are working on loving yourself because in soo many eyes you ARE very beautiful (inside and out)! I watch your videos because I LOVE your style. We are the same age. I have been trying to look better in any way I can now that I'm getting older. However, thanks for the most important reminder, to work on feeling good inside!! I will use this today not only for myself but helping others! Thank you, thank you!💕
I’m still trying to figure out how bringing a steak home for a date night that they got from a sales meeting is something they would think I’d like to discuss my day over. You put no effort into taking me to a restaurant of my choosing, or preparing the meal with me. You’re lucky I didn’t put my foot on it.😂
Aww Erin, ❤ if only you could see yourself as we do. Smart, stylish, inquisitive, and generous of spirit. I’m 56 now and though it’s tough to see the aging changes, I try to be grateful for the years lived. There are a lot of miles on me but it’s a privilege to get older. I love that you flipped that phrase… feel good, look good. Thank you for constantly evolving and sharing your journey with us.
So brave! It isn’t always “acceptable” for beautiful women (or women that society deems beautiful) to discuss struggles with insecurities or body image- but the reality is that if we don’t see OURSELVES as beautiful, it doesn’t matter how many compliments you receive and it doesn’t fix the issues within us. Thank you for the video!
You're exactly right, Ranea. Everyone has struggles, and no one is perfect. It's sure a tough journey...but such an important one. SO glad you are here. xo
Erin, IMO, this is possibly one of the most important videos you've ever created (if not the most)! Your heartfelt sincerity along with the powerful life lessons learned is absolutely inspiring and hopefully life-changing. I appreciate you being so openly honest in sharing with us your struggles and vulnerability... I dealt with bulimia in my teens and struggle with body dysmorphia to this day. Every day is an active effort to unconditionally accept and love myself for who I am. I too have that book and recommend it to everyone I know! So many of us are dealing with (whether we know it or not) unresolved trauma, shame, and perfectionism. This struggle is real, and thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us with not just the important message, but also the steps we can take towards healing. I've been thinking about hypnosis and somatic therapy for the past two years but I wasn't sure. I've already tried a few other therapies as well as breathwork and mindfulness meditations, etc. I'm now ready to take the next steps... I hope for your continued success on your journey toward self-love and acceptance, as well as emotional and mental well-being. 🙏 Keep up the good work! Just love you! ❤
Preach! I am constantly fighting the same 10lbs. I lost significant weight because of stroke factors in my family and a close call that I had. With Menopause,it has been harder to keep my weight down, but I need to. I have finally decided that the fight I choose to take on is not looking better, but living better. I believe that one will lead to the other. I am looking forward to how it will change my attitude with my body.
My stroke was definitely related to low weight and chronic malnutrition. That's the word that I cherish now that I denied before - "nutrition". Nourishing the brain is essential regardless of one's body. Glad you're here!
Thank you so much for this video. It reminded of an article I read years ago about elderly people facing death and sharing what life had taught them. Several women mentioned they wished they hadn’t been so critical of their appearance. They said that now that they knew they would soon be dying and leaving their body, they felt nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the body that had served them so well.
What an important conversation Erin. Your vulnerability will help so many. Gaining self esteem is the root to all joy as well as that daily refresher that God made us perfect in His eyes. If only we saw ourselves as He does
I went on this crazy spiral a few years ago, as menopause set firmly in. My body and mind were in a strange space. I’m so SO grateful that I found Erin and Dominique Sachse - you both threw me a lifeline of transparency (and lately, I’ve watched you go through and process incredibly hard stuff) that genuinely inspires me. Social media can be such a soul sucker, but your UA-cams are so very powerful. I know it takes a lot of effort and time and emotional stamina. Thank you for being open, joyful, helpful, modest, and classy. I’m truly grateful!
I’m 54 and post menopause. I don’t recognize myself anymore. This video really resonated with me as I’m sure it did many other women. I’m naturally hard on myself, and it is a roller coaster of stopping that self emotional abuse and going right back to it. I’m glad you mentioned EMDR. It has worked for me in the past for other traumatic events, and my therapist and I have just started using it for this very reason. I’m saving this video because it is very inspirational with realistic (and yes, difficult) tips. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for your honesty and bravery in doing so. I appreciate your being genuine in your mission. I think you are the only individual on social media not solely trying to sell product.
I have a hardship as post menopausal weight gain vs style. We love to travel and want to "look" like an European local but nope more like a Fattie and how do I dress like a Local
Appreciate her video. I have gained/lost weight since early 40s now 15 yrs later. Sucks cause I want to dress like an European for travel but I am overweight American.
I see nothing wrong with “If you look good you feel good” mantra because it really works. When I fix myself up no matter what weight I am, I feel better. And when I take pride in my appearance, I do feel better when I look in the mirror. It’s not good for my mental health to let myself go. I discovered this during lockdown. Especially after menopause. However I understand this valuable message and truly appreciate your honesty and compassion 💕
Something that has always helped me is GRATITUDE. When I was younger I would literally meditate on how thankful I was for breathing for having the ability to walk and to think, and to physically be able to do almost anything I wanted. Haven’t done that in a while but want to start again. I think gratitude is a step toward learning how to love yourself and your body, just as it is. Thanks for sharing ❤
Thank you for your honesty❣️Wow, I related to your story & body image. I’ve lost 126lbs. & now am able to look at myself inside as well as outside with love, no more hate! I’m 68 & love my body & it’s extra skin, wrinkles, & lines. Yes, I had surgery to get to this point. A year of prior very hard work went into this process & many, many failed diets & hardships. I wish I hadn’t lived 68 yrs. with looking away from those plate glass windows being ashamed of my image. Hugs & love for your help❣️
Your soothing voice helps deliver such a powerful message for every young and seasoned woman. I can sense the vulnerability and courage it took for you to share this and for that, a heartfelt thank you for truly talking about something we have all experienced. Thank you for being bold and for the great tips on owning and deciding to focus on LOVE and gratitude for our wonderful bodies that do so much for us ❤
I honestly didn’t want to share this video. I woke up in the middle of the night last week and got a strong download, you don’t want to share this, but you have to because it’s so important! I sincerely hope it helps some of you love yourselves more.
@@BusbeeStyle I am glad you shared this video. Perhaps your BRAND is shifting a bit and naturally as you grow as a human spirit. I am here for it and rooting for you Erin!
Such an important topic Erin. As a mom of 2 teenage girls it's so hard to teach self love and acceptance especially when you are an aging woman who struggles with it herself. One of the issues my girls and I have noticed is that in advertising and media there are 2 types of bodies being represented- very thin and fit or plus size and curvy. We never see women or teens that fall somewhere in between. I'm a size 4 but I've got a little muffin top and no thigh gap and loose arm skin. I also have a very rectangular body shape with little waist definition.My weight could be better but it's in the healthy range and I'm not super motivated to fix that because I'm a foodie. My daughters notice the same thing for themselves. You hit on it in your video when you said "am I supposed to be a curvy hourglass or stick thin?" What if you are neither? Thanks for a great video!
Thank you for spotlighting the truth about societal expectations of women's bodies and how unattainable, inaccurate and unkind it is. I love your authenticity and vulnerability..Everything you said was spot on, super helpful, and I hope more women begin to heal their emotions and beliefs around their bodies. Thank you!
We feel alone in this, but the truth is...there's so many other women going through something very similar. It's such a tough journey, and a constant process...But SO vitally important for our growth, healing, and happiness. Thanks for watching, Tennille. xo
When you said to look in the mirror, and tell yourself, “I love you,” the thought of that action brought tears. Thank you for talking about this topic. Even at 63 years, i have a lot of issues in this area as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and an 84-yo mother who weighs 109, and still talks about her weigh daily. She dieted every day of my childhood. My siblings and I all have issues about body image. I tried not to be like her and make my children, especially my daughter, obsessive about body image, but I know I wasn’t successful. This was powerful & very helpful for me to realize I have huge issues, and need to get help. I have watched you for years and love the videos. Thanks so much. Much love to you Erin. ♥️
Wow, just wow 🤩 Erin, so powerfully personal and profound! Vulnerable and honest! Your words are the truth that needs to be spoken more and more amongst all women and to the young girls that are facing so many stereotypical representations of “acceptable” bodies, faces, etc. I’m not like I used to be but my body has also been thru horrible health challenges- I’m lucky to be alive and look in the mirror now with a different lens. Gratitude that my body has been strong, that my mind is strong, that I have more than many do in this world. Outer beauty is skin deep, inner beauty and kindness never fades and it loves others just as they are 💗
Well said! I completely agree. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves for our own well being, and to show our daughters, granddaughters, and other women the way to self-love. I have just started this journey too. A great book is “Self-Compassion,” by Kristin Neff.
Thank you for addressing this. I spent 27 of my 44 years chronically ill. I was a model as a tween before I got ill. I barely had the energy to walk up stairs or brush my hair. I went from being a pageant girl to someone who became a shadow of that girl. It took me years to learn to love myself and honestly after having my son and becoming a mother, my energy shifted. I am so proud of you for finding this self realization and sharing it with your audience. I am a personal stylist and my passion is helping women find love for themselves where they are at any age or stage. I did not look sick because when I had the energy, I poured it all into my appearance. If I looked good, eventually I would feel good. After 3 decades, I realized that I was doing myself a diservice to myself and others in the autoimmune community. Embrace what makes you unique. Love yourself ❤️ Thanks again for your vulnerability.
I have been a huge fan of yours for many years. While I can't relate to most of the fashion because I'm a server at a bar and don't have the income, I just think you are so beautiful and your style is truly gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your struggles, most of us just assume we are alone and don't feel adequate. To know someone I look to as the literal definition of perfect is struggling too makes me feel more accepting of myself. XOXO You are truly so amazing!
I am turning 40 in November and this year has been a rollercoaster emotionally. I have finally just started to treat myself with kindness. My daughter will be turning 20 as well, and she has helped me tremendously. Watching her become a woman has incrementally shown me how cruel I have been to myself over the years. I was such a hypocrite. I would be sitting on her bed, or driving with her, listening to all of the insecurities and criticisms that come with the teenage body and mind and I would try to empower her however I could to see the beauty that I see when I look at her. I would always remind her that she was just going through the challenging years we all went through, and that brighter days would surely come. I would remind her of her endless artistic and musical talents, her hilarious wit, and her fierce spirit that has always compelled her to fight for what is right. And then I would go on about my day spending most of the time obsessing about how much I hated my body and what it looked like. How disgusting it was to me and I was simply going to have to endure painful surgeries to look somewhat presentable and surely my husband would end up leaving me for someone younger and less “aged” looking eventually. And then I just continued over the years to dread turning 40, because I can’t seem to get it through my head that aging is a blessing from God. Even though I know this, all I did was obsess about getting older. This year I went on my own Tracy Anderson quest for perfection, dying to look perfect when I was finally at last forced to walk the plank to age 40. Then a few months ago I went for a run which I never do because I hate it… and decided to sign up for a local 5K being held on my 40th. (Ha) I downloaded couch to 5K, and started there. I noticed that my reaction to stress and anger was always to run, so I started listening to my body. And when I would run, I would slowly feel better and my mind would clear and I would go back in my house without feeling the need to snap out on everyone. I realized what exercise does for my MENTAL HEALTH!!! I stopped being obsessed with TA because although I do enjoy her workouts, she always discouraged lifting any heavy weights and gosh dang it… I like lifting weights! I would avoid it at all costs because of course you end up building muscle and my Jean size will go up and I will hate myself for that etc. But I decided I was just going to start moving my body in ways that made me feel good mentally. Dancing! Running! Lifting weights! Stretchy yoga! Once I stopped doing it to “look” a certain way, I started enjoying exercise for the first time in my entire life. I started eating breakfast when I felt like it (heaven forbid if you are an intermittent faster). I allowed myself to eat healthy carbs with zero regret because sometimes you NEED CARBS! And I realized that it truly is sugar that makes me feel awful. Drinking makes me feel AWFUL. Once I started being kind to my body and to myself, slowly all of the self hatred is falling off of me like scales and I seriously cry tears of joy over it. And funny enough, I haven’t lost a single pound, and I am more active than I have ever been, and I truly do not care one bit!!! This video is amazing because I. Am. Living. This! I’ve loved you for years and years Erin, for this reason: you are a genuine, kindhearted woman who bares her soul for the world to see in hopes that you inspire and encourage all of us who can relate. I do relate. If we all put 20 lbs on because of menopause, and we have the people who love us safe and healthy in their beds every night, what on earth are we doing??? Let’s love ourselves more and treat ourselves we treat our own daughters. Thank you for this video, and I hope all the women watching find love for themselves.
I was never a runner. I had never ran an entire mile in my life. Ever- even in grade school. But I wanted to do it before I turned 40. So I did the C25K thing and did my first 5k at 39. I got out of it during the whole covid thing but restarted again and did another 5k last week. I’m 48 and in better shape than I have probably ever been.
This is so powerful and I appreciate your vulnerability! I think so many women in our age group grew up with magazines and so much toxic language around what was ideal. I can relate to so much of what you are saying at 47 years old. I'm working on it and will be on this journey with you. I appreciate you sharing this today. It was super helpful and some words I needed to hear.
You're right... We're gotten so used to the impossible and toxic beauty standards, that it is SO hard to break free from. But it is time! Thanks so much for watching. xo
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this and being so open and transparent. I have felt so alone on this menopause journey. I have aged what looks like 10 years in the last 2. I have gained a lot of weight and have been so down and depressed. That is the opposite of what my personality has always been. Please continue to share your ups and downs with this. It is more helpful than you will ever know! Much love to you!
Cristie yes 👍😞 I couldn't agree more. It's the speed in which everything changes which is so hard to accept. I feel very alone because I'm the only person in my friends in this age group (40) to be going through it (perimenopause, weight gain, etc). This video was so great, the honesty ❤️ wishing you all the best moving forward
You just gave me the permission to say no to the gym and yes to a walk out in fresh air , which felt amazing. Taking the pressure off of myself to stay in routine and constantly checking off to do’s. Instead doing what feels right naturally in the moment
This is so good. I'm over 70 and am still working on all this "body acceptance" stuff. I take care of myself physically, go to the gym, yoga, etc., but aging and body changes happen. We put so much pressure on ourselves. Keep talking about this.♥
Erin , I asked for a sign last night and I got it through this video, I’ve been feeling so not worthy lately, I don’t know why , but I am promising myself today that I will look in the mirror and love myself because I’m worthy and so are all the women in this platform, I thank you for being so honest with your story and which you such much love, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, WE ARE WORTHY!!!
Erin, thank you for opening my eyes. I am 62 , still able to ride my horses, enjoy my grandbabies etc. but I have begun to Loathe Myself even more than I always have (aches and pains, saggier face) And I’m very aware of it and I don’t want to feel like that. I have so much to be thankful for. Thank you much for pointing many little/big details I have not realized I’ve been doing. It’s time for me to do some heart felt thinking. 💞, Cowgirl Deb
This is really kind of you to address this because as you mention, it’s something that affects most of us. The bottom line is that body shapes should not be a trend! Once we let go of that thinking it can be easier to accept ourselves as we are. The same person can’t look like Kate Moss one year and Kim K the next (without serious surgical intervention)
This video was incredible! Erin, you are walking courageously into such deep territory, and it’s an honor to go along with you. Your Feelings about your body really resonated with me. Thank you for all you do. You are wonderful!
Erin, thank you 😊 for sharing this. Cannot imagine what you’ve been through or are going through. I see you as a fighter who will get where you wanna be. I needed this so much! Personally, I’ve been body shamed, not by strangers but my own over achieving family, my mom, aunts, sister- in- law, sister in laws family, who are all stick thin! It was more painful, because it wasn’t strangers but my own family giving me a hard time for being slightly chubby. I’ve been on impossible diets, worked out 💪 so hard, I ended up a couple of years back with sciatica! My grandma 👵 doesn’t have sciatica, but I do. So I was forced to switch to walking 🚶🏾♀️ and biking 🚴♀️ instead of crazy aerobics! I looked at my brother, dad and husband and they all think they’re 17. They eat what they want and seemed happier! So I started “ copying” them! Now, I don’t miss out on food 🥘 or experiences, because I’m busy torturing myself and my body. Now if someone calls me “ chubby”, I say “ thank you 😊 “, “ yes, exactly” and wear it like a badge! Hugs 🤗, Amy
Hi Erin, so refreshing to hear your message. At 62, I feel like I’ve come into my own! I’ve earned the right to love myself and frankly get the respect that I deserve for being a mom, nana and wife. I love my wrinkles and saggy boobs. I wear them as a badge of honor. I wake up each day wanting to live my best life and I do. Not always perfect but no regrets. Not sure how long I will be on this earth so…carpe diem! Thank you for spreading the great news…we should all love ourselves and support each other. You are such a good person. I adore you! Keep up the great work!
Same Cynthia-- turned 60 this year. To younger women: feeling content in your body is possible when you develop gratitude for what your body has allowed you to DO!
It is so interesting to me that people who I think look perfect in every way, like you and my daughter, still have the same self doubt that I have. I always feel my self doubt is legitimate, in fact I know it is legitimate because I am overweight, have a crooked tooth, double chins , wrinkles and fuzzy hair! I think it is admirable that you and women who watch your programs continuously look for ways that they can represent their best selves. You always have good lessons. We will continue this journey together, we always feel better if we work at it both from the inside (emotional) as well as how we present ourselves to others (physical). Love ya!
I am so glad you spoke about this. My mom had me on a diet since I could remember. She was always thin and ended up with a chubby child. I still remember passing out in elementary school because she had put me on a lemon juice diet. I am still large- much larger than my mom- and to this day we still have a struggle about how we relate to each other when discussing my weight and my looks. My insecurities stem from how she viewed me and how the kids in school saw me- so all I could see was all those things that I was not rather than all those good things I was. I am trying very hard to not be like mom with my own daughter. I still hear my mom’s voice in my head when my daughter puts in clothes that I think don’t fit her but I try my best to not say the things my mom would say to me and instead try to offer her a positive view of herself. I am still working on myself because that inner view colors and shapes all my relationships.
Erin you’re honesty is beautiful and so helpful to your followers. So many of us can relate to our own body shaming and not realizing the harm. God made us in his image and we should remember that every day. You do seem lighter and brighter keep going on this journey and sharing is so helpful to many. Love your curls and blouse ❤️
Yep. I concur 100%. I was body shamed by my mother my entire life, even in my early childhood. I realize she was heavily influenced by societal messaging, but nevertheless I have struggled my whole adult life to love myself and my body. And my mother. I too only see flaws when I look in the mirror. Funny that my mother also raised me to clean my dinner plate and always served dessert every night before I could be excused from the table. I have learned to forgive her, but still learning to love myself. Thanks Erin.
We have the same mother: "Have another piece of cake, I made it especially for you," and one minute later: "You really should be watching your weight."
Rochelle, I am in the same club. I remember in 4th grade my mother telling me "hold your gut in!". I weighed 63 lbs. Mom seemed jealous of me. My sister added to it " big ears, Dumbo,can you fly? Brutal. Mom died 18 months ago. I have removed all my siblings from my life. Toxic people do not get any part of me!
Wow! I went through something similar. Let's just say that my mom wasn't the best person to instill confidence in me...I guess when it mattered. Now I have myself and positive people in my life to make me feel confident. 👍🏼
I love this conversation. It’s a very serious topic and it’s affecting a wide range of women in all age groups. I’m in my early forties and it’s just in the last two years that I’ve started looking in the mirror again and caring about my looks again. For a long time, the only time I would look in the mirror was to do my hair and makeup in the morning and that was it. The rest of the day I would avoid it. I’ve been that woman that was conditioned to think I never enough because I had bad skin, I’m mixed race, and I’m on the heavier side. It wasn’t until I hit forty that I realized that I don’t care what other people think about what I look like or how I dress anymore. I dress for me now. I do my makeup for me now. I eat healthy and exercise for me and keep a healthy relationship with my doctor to keep my medical issues in check. My confidence had dramatically increased because of my shift in thinking. You mentioned compliments…I give compliments freely to both women and men. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a upbuilding way. Doing this allows me to accept compliments when they do come. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story, your experiences and thoughts and taking on this topic. The more we talk about this and break down these toxic behaviors and establish proper positive behaviors going forward, then the better chances future generations have of not repeating our mistakes. Sending you love and well wishes-B. 🥰
This is an amazing topic, I’m now 53 years old, I’m being skinny, fit and petite but never feel better with myself. even when I was doing all kinds of sports. Thanks for always try to help us feel free and confident with our own body types. It should be more of this positive vibes here. Yesterday I even feel confident to use a cropped top, my first time since my thirties when I was pregnant. THANKS FOR THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS
Bravo, Erin! I am so proud of you for having this conversation with us! Your honesty with us is such a gift. In the book DYING TO BE ME by Anita Moorjani, she had an NDE and while she was "gone" she observed how critical she was of herself while in her human body and how that criticism affected her physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are beautiful souls in this human form and our amazing bodies walk, talk, breathe, pump blood, feel emotions and carry us through this journey we call life. I am grateful for people like you who remind us to shine on instead of hiding our light. Bravo!
I just started following you recently and this was amazing and it brought me to tears because we do bury feelings of the past that do reflect in how we treat or view ourselves. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and make this a sisterhood of empowerment.
I had a bit of a breakdown a few days ago about my body, and this video was like a lifeline. This peri-menopause is turning me inside out, and making me loathe my physical self. After this I also had a conversation with a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while, who is peri-menopausal too, and I think that your “realness” in this video pushed me to open up to her and we supported each other. Thank you for acknowledging that beauty and style is more than following trends, and giving light to something that we all don’t talk about enough. Keep it up.
Same! I was in the best shape of my life in my mid 40s and then Covid happened and all of my workout studios closed. Then the peri-menopause stuff happened during that time and now I am heavier than I've ever been in my entire life and feel old and fat and gross. I just started HRT. I am hoping that will help, because I have zero energy to do anything.
Thank you Erin! Once again, you have brought another piece of my innate puzzle to the surface! I shared every tear while you spoke from your heart. Menopause, for me, lasted 12 years... yes, and I read that 14 is not uncommon. For those who go through it without hormone replacement therapy, it is a true eye opener! So many changes to adjust to, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are abundantly strong women by nature. 💖
Tears and all the feels! I remember this woman I worked with in my 20's. She was probably in her 40's. She walked with this sway in her hips that I just always admired. I always thought "Thats a real woman. I hope I'm confident like that when I'm her age". I also find it very difficult to take compliments. To really BELIEVE what the person is saying. But when I give a compliment, I really mean it! Why can't I give myself the same grace? This is hard. I start with a counselor next week. This is such a good topic. Thank you for sharing all of this. I know it wasn't easy. I'm going to talk to one person...you're talking to thousands.
Erin, I so appreciate your courage and vulnerability here. So much of this resonates! I know we are all on different faith journeys, but this is one thing I can add here that has helped me the most. Peace with God brings peace with yourself. There was a time in my life when I questioned God's existence, but after praying for Him to help my unbelief He has shown me more and more of who He is, and ultimately, who I am. Understanding why Jesus died on the cross was my first step. There is so much brokenness in the world. When the culture tells me I should be a certain way, I see that for the lie it is, and remember my identity is not in how I look but who I am now in Christ. This is hard to explain fully in the comment section. :) But thank you for listening and thank you for sharing your journey on such an important topic to so many of us! Blessings as you continue to learn and grow!
I just had my 71st birthday. I’m only going to be on this planet for a few more years so I don’t fret about not having a perfect body. I’m active, enjoy pretty clothes, make up- all the womanly things. My mindset has certainly changed as I age- it’s a wonderful thing.
This is so right on. I can’t take a compliment, constantly picking apart my body, comparing myself to other woman. It’s exhausting. At 63 I’ve been hating on my body for most of my life. When I look at old pics now, I think, okay not perfect but my eyes were beautiful? My hair is so thick, and my skin was amazing. Society has us believing we woman can only be beautiful if we look a certain way. Wait until you’re in your mid fifties and your body just turns on you. You work out, you diet, and nothing works. You feel, crazy enough, like you’ve been betrayed. Maybe we just shouldn’t focus so much on our bodies or anyone else’s body and work on our hearts.
One of the first things I remember my husband telling me when we started dating (I was 16 then) was even if we didn’t work out (which we have) I would learn to take a compliment. Up until him I really couldn’t take a compliment. I was a size 3 but the other girls and my high school pe teacher (female) told me and my friend (who wore a zero to prom that year we were fat. Early 90’s “heroin chic” was the timeframe.
I recently fell off a ladder and broke 3 bones in face I’m still healing but I know it’s not going to be like it was before, it’s forced me to really look at myself and who I really am, and I’m realizing there’s a lot healing on the inside that needs to be done more than the outside. Thank you so much Erin❤️
So Brave. Good on Ya Erin!! I went thru this a while back because I'm almost 67 now. I was Always thin, I was athletic all my life, I could eat anything and everything and NOT gain weight. And then 55 came along with 15 extra pounds and WOW was that truly hard to deal with.... Everything you spoke about here is what I would bet ALL of us have orcwill go thru in time. It's a huge thing that you're sharing it all because every woman needs to hear it. Thank you Dear Erin, God Bless you!!!
For me at age 51 having had a BC dx at 45 doing all the holistic work to heal from that which included a spiritual awakening, getting to know my Higher Self and realizing what 'self love" truly meant for me, I have never felt more beautiful, confident and secure in my body. I hear this from other women too. It shouldn't take a health scare to make us realize how blessed we are to be alive for this very brief time and to have a healthy, working body that shows up for us everyday regardless of how horrible we treat it, but that's what it took for me and the other side of that is beautiful. I am free now. I am so much more than my body, skin, and shape. There is so much peace in that. Erin, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I have been watching your videos since before my BC dx when you were living in Texas. You have grown so much and are so radiantly beautiful and sweet sweet sweet. I know that about you. Love Yourself! You are perfect as you are. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is allow our minds to go unchecked with negative thoughts about ourselves. Every cell in your body is listening to your thoughts. Your cells are informed by your thoughts. Think loving thoughts and your cells feel loved. Think unloving thoughts and your cells feel unloved. They will act and preform accordingly. Treat them like little children that need love and nurturing. I believe you know all this already, but sometimes we forget. Louise Hay has been a huge inspiration for me in this area. Her book "You Can Heal Your Life" has been life changing. Side Note: Your industry unfortunately, doesn't make money off of people who are enlightened to the fact that beauty comes from within and the more at peace we are with ourselves, the less we "need" the outside to be of a certain societal standard.
Hey Erin, I'm 58 and happier than I ever have been with my body -- not a typical body shape which as always made buying clothes tricky when I had in my head what I 'should' look like. Recently my daughter told me about a book called "Women Don't Owe Pretty! " --- It is an eye opener on everything to do with women and girls and the expectations we have of ourselves and the systems that keep us feeling dissatisfied So Positive, so direct. I recommend for every girl and woman to read!!
I cried so much watching this Erin...:) you never cease to amaze me....when you are women on social media not only do we beat ourselves up, others do too. I could be 98 pounds and somebody would still say I was " fat" around my middle. I love life...I love clothes and my true focus is being grateful I am alive with a body that moves me through the day....my love to you always, Susan
Erin, your reaching out to us and being so honest makes us all feel so connected to you. You are real. No airs about you. You are vulnerable like we all are and you say it so eloquently that we all sit up and take notice. It does hit us one day that we are changing. Our bodies are aging and that creates a turning point where we have to decide how we are going to handle this. All your suggestions will help many people. I admire you so much. Your caring really resonates .❤️. BTW, this is not a compliment.. it's a fact
Erin, you have opened a floodgate for me that I could never do myself! I cannot thank you enough for your openness and honesty. I have been watching your channel for a while and love all of the style info you impart, but never feel I hit that nail on the head. I actually asked my husband to rewatch the video with me because you say the words I have never been able to say. We both did a lot of crying, for me it was cathartic and for him because he understands all the pain I have been keeping inside all our married life. I am 62 and have never loved my body or felt self esteem, quite the opposite. I cannot accept compliments because I just don’t see in the mirror what others do. My adult daughter overheard the video and us talking and she also cried for my endless struggles. I am ready to take the steps with therapy that will help me heal and I have you to thank for saying the words I couldn’t say. Your channel has been a blessing in many ways and I hope you continue to provide us with the tools to help us all feel empowered inside and out. ❤
Thank you so much for calling attention to this Erin! Confidence and self-acceptance, no matter where you are in a stage of life or what you look like is the most important style element! I think about my wonderful, beautiful MIL and her struggle. I have known her for 40 years and since the day I met her she has been on a diet, trying to be that which doesn't exist and never loving herself or her body. What a miserable way to live a life. Please, for anyone reading this, know that you are beautiful just the way you are on the inside and on the outside.
Erin- everything you said resonated with every cell in my being. I listened through tears for you and me. I am astounded by your courageous authenticity and admire you so much. I am 46, 20-30 pounds heavier than in my 20’s, struggling with PMDD and trying desperately to redefine beauty for myself at middle age. As we all know, “beauty” for women is narrowly connected to youth and there seems to be few role models for what we can REALISTICALLY aspire to for middle-age beauty-JLo or Heidi K. just rub in what is achievable for the minute fraction of genetically uber-blessed (and unlimited financial resources.) I have one 12 yr old son and as he moves into teendom, I find myself concerned with a declining essential worth as a woman-what value/power can I preserve in this effed up culture when I’m no longer “young and hot” or truly needed as a mother. I fear a gap of worthiness for women until the chapter of being a beloved grandmother. It’s SO UNFAIR and we have to reconstruct and reframe our value INTERNALLY to rebalance our culture. Like you, words can barely express how much I aspire to be a woman who fully owns and celebrates her entire self. I need role models so that I can become a model for others--we ARE on this journey together and the power of you sharing your truth on this platform is truly AWESOME! I have subscribed for years and want you to know that your contributions have meant the world to me-style is transformative and truly the expression of inner essence. (BTW- I started roller skating again 3 years ago and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks from some deep well of remembered childhood freedom-it was magic and I’m so happy you’re embarking on that journey too!)
The book you mentioned, The Body Keeps Score changed my life - I've read it 2x - I second your recommendation. I beat the fire out of myself because of the changes that come with aging and menopause as well as my height - 5-1 I have deeply hated myself for my height my entire life - I feel that I am worth less than others because of it - add to that the aging and I too have felt like I have nothing to offer the world and tha I'm invisible. All of this, and I am probably considered by other to be a very pretty person - I'm in excellent shape. But it's never ever enough - I loathe myself. I think many women feel this too. Thank you for bringing this up
You were fearfully and wonderfully made, the only one in existence - created on purpose by the master of creation, perfect - he makes no mistakes. Read it again. ❤️
Hey Beautiful lady! Thank you so much from bottom of my heart for sharing this ultra personal, emotional & poignant video. The struggle is REAL! I do know that we are all going through this in one form or the other. I’m slowly learning to accept myself & you have been a big inspiration that has helped me dig deep into myself and recognize all the negative & detrimental thoughts that have confined me for so long. Without a doubt, a self affirmation is a must and a necessary ritual that I have to do every day. Just like washing your face & brushing your teeth in the morning, I need it to start the day. I do well with structured & planned activities so being a stay at home mom’s life & lifestyle has been a major challenge and a conflict with my personality for too many years. So by making myself a priority and adding self care into my regular itinerary is slowly helping me break free from self loathing & societal pressures. Father time isn’t stopping for anyone and my body/face is aging, and I want to strive to grow old gracefully and enjoy my current age (50) without hesitation & regrets. I’m 100 percent with you reversing your previous statement “if you look good, you feel good” to “If you feel good, you look good.” The old statement was on a more superficial level but by just switching the sentence placement, the statement has a deeper and significant meaning. Thanks again for being so open and vulnerable with your struggles and willing to share & help others. You rock!! 💖💖💖💖
Its like you are in my head, I watched this eagerly to see how you handle this. When you mentioned step one I sobbed, the thought of it sent the fear into me. The self harm in relation to food I have done in the past is unbelievable. For the past two years these are demons I've acknowledge and am fighting. Then to realise someone like you, who gives the impression to the world you are confident in who you are, has the same inner struggles makes me feel less alone. The part about your body holding your past, makes so much sense and I hadn't realised that so thank you, you have given me a new focus to help me start to win this fight against myself x good luck on your journey and thank you so much for sharing x you're a brave and inspiring person for sharing this pain x
Thank you for this powerful video. I am 51 and on a journey to rewrite my own narrative. When I turned 50 I embarked on a “fix me” path that included a new diet, fashion update, and skin care regimen because in my mind I was trying to keep up with my former, younger self. Now a year later I too realize that my personal narrative was ultimately going to guide me down a toxic path. I now embrace the functionality approach. I take better care of my skin because like any organ I want it to be functional for as long as possible. I bypass the anti aging messages and ask myself is this product going to promote functionality. This also goes for weight loss and nutrition. I got back into strength training because at first I just wanted to look better. Now I maintain a strength training and whole foods diet because it improves how my body moves and functions. I am actively taking the power away from the industries that would have me in a self deficit mode of thinking by embracing my own agency to actively choose products and mindsets that promote increased health and vitality. I now feel that my personal narrative is healthy and sustainable.
This is such a powerful message.At 56 years young and weighting 139 lbs(I'm only 4"11) I can say that I'm greatful that I'm aging gracefully.My scares as well as my belly reminds me every day of the miracle of life.3 adult children and 5 grandchildren later I feel happy with myself.💙
Oh Erin, this video made me cry so much. It resonates hard. I so wanted to hug you as I listened. I think I always held you up as a ‘perfect’ woman because of how beautiful you are, and how together you appear to be. Of course, nobody ever knows what another person is going through or struggling with. Thank you so much for being real, honest, and vulnerable with us. Your beauty is not just on the outside! ❤ It saddens me terribly when women talk so awfully about themselves, or only see their perceived flaws - I want to hold a mirror up and point all all the beauty, power, vibrancy! But I can’t do this for myself. It’s tragic and just wrong how we are brainwashed from early age to judge ourselves so harshly. I hope things keep shifting towards healthier messages from the media etc. I’m going through menopause and it’s one of the hardest ever things I’ve gone through. It’s funny, I’ve followed you for such a long time but only recently actively sought you out again, after realising j hadn’t seen your stuff in so long (UA-cam algorithm - grr 😡). I’ve been loving your content but this, this one is SPECIAL. They say when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear….bingo! Thank you. Finally, I think it was Mel Robbins who says she changed her phrasing from “I have to/I should” to “I GET to” and that’s life changing right there! In reference to the movement thing - I get to go for a walk, I get to dance, etc. has never resonated more than now for me, since I have reduced mobility. Every time I can get outside (not often unfortunately) I rejoice in the experience and privilege of doing so, even though I suffer for it physically afterwards. Movement is a gift! Anyway, I could ramble on for hours but I honestly will be thinking about all of this from now on. I hope you know it has helped, it’s important, it matters, and I t’s appreciated. Thank you xx
If we could see ourselves through the eyes of our loved ones, we might be kinder to ourselves, but we often don't even believe them when THEY tell us how beautiful we are. This is such a problem. I try to tell others something positive about themselves and struggle to be positive towards myself. And I've been in active therapy for the past five years. It's such a slow process, and we allow the work to get undone by one negative thought or word. You have been such a powerful voice for positive energy. Thank you.
Thank you for your honesty and bringing attention to this issue! In terms of accepting compliments I wanted to relay what my mom said to me many, many years ago when I was a teenager and shrugged off a comment she gave me. She patiently told me a compliment is a gift someone gives you, and asked would you throw a gift back in someone’s face or toss it aside? Lightbulb moment! From that day forward I made sure I thanked people for their gift and took their kind words to heart. Her wisdom sure helped me, hoping it might help others. Take care :)
Thank you , thank you for opening up to us and talking about this important issue...I'm now 59 and dealt with everything you said all my life. I was never enough to me....too fat, too short, this not right, that not right, etc. Now that age is really challenging me, it opened up a whole new world of self torture I didn't have before. it just won't ever end, I feel sometimes. But all in all I'm a happier and more confident person now though.
THANK YOU ERIN 🙏💚 this was SO powerful and empowering. so crucial. I feel you so much and can resonate with all you have said. I am on my own path and struggling. One thing that is extremely healing for me, is connecting to nature on my daily walk, and I mean it. In a very simple way, just walking/hiking, in the early morning, watching and feeling the trees, the birds, the squirrels, breathing in the air that is full of woody smells, feeling sunlight when the sun comes up, on my skin, it soothes my body and calms it, and makes me feel a part of the whole, and in those moments I can sometimes feel more than ok, even if only for a brief moment. I can feel that moving my body in a natural environment, and being mindful of my surroundings at that moment and feeling gratitude for the fact that there is nature and that my body can move in it, do have a deeply healing power. sending much Love and Light to you dear Erin, and to all of us. 🌷
What really hit me was when you said some of us use beating ourselves up as fuel to "do better" or "stay on track" because that is exactly what I do. And honestly, it fails me every time and then I tell myself terrible things and the cycle starts all over again. Thank you for helping me face this behavior.
Oh, my goodness, Erin! What an angel you are! I am much older than you, been through decades of therapy, mind classes, hypnosis, cancer, chemo, radiation, major surgeries putting me back together and my precious and beloved husband of 51 years who was also my work partner passed away a year ago and I thought I would just die with him because it was so unbearable. I could go on and on but my point is I'm just now, at this stage of my life, catching on to what is really important... because those events and more really put perspective on what really matters. I do finally look in the mirror and tell myself I love you! My husband told me those words every day that I knew him and I too never thought I was worthy of that. The truth is we are all Blessed with being a Soul created by God! We have 100 trillion cells in our bodies so how awesome are we!? You are beautiful, smart and have a wonderful heart and I love watching your videos. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you, Erin, for being so honest and transparent. Your video drove me to tears, it's a tough one. Menopause wasn't a rollercoaster for me, I called it a trip through hell and I know exactly what you are talking about. Now I am five years postmenopause and things are much better, time is a healer, too. Wish you all the best on your journey and keep on sharing your thoughts with us. And: you look so beautiful! 😊❣
Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Often we think everyone else is doing so much better than us. It is very generous of you to share. My discovery after menopause is that the intense workouts I used to enjoy just stress my body out now. I had to find gentler ways to move my body.
I’m so glad to hear you address this Erin, and I certainly hope you feel empowered by this new way of thinking! I’m 57 and feel happier with my body now than I did when I was a 21 yr old model. It takes work, and I incorporate the steps you listed. I have grown daughters, and realize it’s their time to be in the spotlight. It’s very freeing, actually. I love to dress with style every day and don’t see that stopping, but I’ve taken the pressure off myself to be physically perfect. Going through cancer twice has also helped with what is really important in life. As well, I’ve stopped “following” those “mature” influencers who are obsessive and live what seems punishing lives. We won’t look like we did when we were 25, and it’s time we accept that and treat ourselves with love.
Thank you for this video..You totally verbalized my entire year so far..the dieting..not accepting compliments...being so uncomfortable, not looking at my self in the mirror at times with the light on...the ups and downs of menopause...insomnia..hot flashes..hair shedding...I will try all of your suggestions 💜
Hi B, thanks for sharing. I too am on a similar journey. Mine started in college when I took a women's studies class. The instructor made us examine our self talk. It was a crazy eye opening experience. I consider myself a friendly, accepting, soul but I was a complete hater to myself! Walking down the street I was comparing myself to others in a nasty way. Ugh!!! You are right when you said that it happens really, really quickly and we have to slow down to catch ourselves doing it. Now, I'm not so bad. It helps me to pray and ask to see others and myself the way God sees us. I believe spiritual nourishment is the fastest, most efficient way to undo social conditioning and trauma. I do not go to church but I pray a lot.
Erin this is it! I’m glad you are taking this mindset shift I’m doing the same. It needs to happen we need to help others with our attitudes. It’s not easy but we are smart women the only person who can help us love ourselves is staring themselves in the mirror xxx
So powerful Erin. We women are are own worst enemies sometimes. We allow a society that is obsessed with looks and body image to create an unrealistic, unhealthy, and unattainable model for most women. It is fueled by a diet and cosmetic industry who feed on our insecurities. Social media who focus on how great someone looks in a bikini. I am to turn 70 in a few months. For the greater portion of my life I was thin and in great shape then menopause happened and I didn't recognize myself anymore. I could relate to your saying the diets you tried in search of if I just did... it is not a good place to be. Getting older isn't for the faint of heart. Seeing our youth slip away and becoming invisible to others and worse to ourselves. Thank you for saying we need to look in the mirror and claim our identity back by loving ourselves. I hope your journey brings you peace of mind, body and spirit.
Thank you for making this video, Erin. We can never have enough these talks & especially on this topic. Cried my eyes out cause it resonated so much, ESPECIALLY when you said looking in the mirror and not making eye contact with my own self. Thank you for using your platform to share with your sisters & the young girls who are so so impressionable. We love you!!!!! 😊😘♥️
Thank you Erin…and add to that being truly aging (I’m 79) on social media…and choosing to do no corrective surgeries, fillers, etc. And aging fast in the public eye. So whatever issues I have with that and trauma to boot, some days I can be a mess if I allow it. I figured out many years ago that in order to just exist that I had to learn how to love myself. I can now love myself regardless of my overweight,sagging loose skin. I much prefer just striving to be the best person I can be every single day working with where I am that day….mainly being kind and continuing to feed my soul. I suspect you’ve touched many lives today with this video. xo patti (rock star mom) 💕🍃
Miss Patti.. I subscribe to your Channel, and I found so much Inspiration from you, Because WHO YOU ARE internally, has always shown through . ...I couldn't believe you were actually your age, when I subscribed to your Channel 3 years ago. ...I thought, she looks so good and what an inspiration to women. ...I myself have not ever had any work done ( although there are people that used to ask me that quite often when I was in my fifties ..so they could not believe that I had not had any" work done " when I was you know 49.50 and up to age 55) It's Genetics, it's other factors. ..no one stays the same ,without some kind of " procedure ". I choose not to do that, so I'm in the boat with you, lol. I'm going to be 68 years Young in October and I really admire you because you have chosen to live your life so Authentically and so Genuinely ....to me that is invaluable and it's often lost in this day and time. Yes, ... striving to be the best person we were designed to be ... feeding the Soul. You've touched lives that you may not even be aware of, Patti , and watching Miss Erin do this means that people are finally " getting it ", that owning who we are IS work and it actually nourishes the Soul. She's touching so many lives with this Video, and it takes Courage and a desire to be really Authentic with her delivering this Message. God love her. I have said this to my children for years and it's so funny.... I recently heard it and it's the first time I'd heard anyone say this, really ( other than myself ) and I would say to them " operate from the Soul , operate from the heart... don't operate from your Ego... there's a Balance. Which won't mean that you are being a doormat or that you're letting people walk on you... ; No . ...what you're doing is you're being true to your Authentic Self .... operate from your Soul , because when you operate from the Soul you can never go wrong.... " 🙏🏻✨️💜😊
.... I also have not ever agreed with the Keto thing because that is NOT a " one size fits-all proposition".. I've said that from the very beginning ,when everybody's pushing this Keto thing ...I'm sorry but I'm not giving up pasta and I'm not giving up dark chocolate and I'm not giving up certain things that I love to eat... I eat them in moderation. I'm not having them every single day and I don't want to be in this" box"- as she put it - where if I fall off the wagon " then I'm in a whole lot of trouble with you know, whatever " LOL. No thank you. I'm so glad she addressed this.
"Look in a mirror and tell yourself 'I love you'"- This is the beginning of Louise Hay's Mirror Work (affirmations) and the first step to loving yourself. Highly recommend to all!!! The first time I did it was soon after Cancer treatment and I cried. I kept going and a few days later I was smiling and meant it. Thank you Erin for posting this video!
Play in life...have fun...I am 60 years old...I just bought a yo-yo yesterday...my husband is learning how to surf...I also had sexual abuse from the age of 4 years old to 11 years old...I tryed therapy but the best thing I did was not having any sort of relationship with the abusive people including my mom...I haven't seen them for over 5 years and it has made a HUGE difference...I am back to a happy healthy woman helping other women in their journey. Positive vibes!!! I wish you nothing but joy and acceptance of ALL of your being...truly.
I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, and also honored to hear your story, Lona. I'm so glad that you are happy, healthy, and joyful now! What an inspiration. LOVE the yo-yo and surfing journeys too! xo
Same here. In my early 60’s and experienced sexual abuse from as far back as I can remember to age 18. I am trying to love myself and it starts with putting myself first instead of constantly caring for aging parents. My last parent passed away 2 weeks ago and I’m really trying to love me and look after me
This should be required watching for all women! Thank you so much for inspiring us to not just strive to look fabulous and put together, but to actually be whole, healthy, put together people. One of the best compliments to give and receive is 'you are beautiful from the inside out'. Erin, your videos and one-on-one advice have helped me so much as I struggle to embrace the PROFOUND changes of menopause. But what you address in this video is beyond important. We spend about 10 years in that mid-teens to twenties time when we had lots of hair, smooth skin and firm cheeks (up and down). And many of us didn't really appreciate it back then! But then we spend the REST OF OUR LIVES - decades and decades - trying to recapture that impossible to regain youth instead of learning to love who we are at any age, and learning to live in a way that heals us and supports our bodies and minds and spirits. My wish for everyone here is that you learn to love that person in the mirror. The woman you are right now deserves that love.
Thank you so much for this. I’m 44 years old. I know I’m overweight. It’s hard but I am trying to work out and walk and stay active and trying to eat healthy once in a while. I have two daughters and had two c-sections. They are pre- teens now. I had trouble loving myself, I can never say I’m pretty or I love myself. My daughters hated when I was always doubting myself or mean to myself. I will do what you say to do. I will try harder. Thank you so much for this. I appreciate you. I’m going through peri menopause right now.thank you for all the advice and being positive.💞❣️❤️💕👋
Thank you so much for this! When you said look at yourself in the mirror and say I love you every day it made me sick. Isn’t that thought sick?? At 64 it is better than at 14 on how I feel about myself. I try to eat well, move my body (not obsessed with either, thank goodness) but I do not truly love myself. When I get compliments I do thank them, but the voice in me says, “Don’t get what they are saying, I don’t see it or believe it!” One part, maybe I missed it, was what going through the pressures of adolescents does to a person. That is when the bad feelings all started for me and have never gone away. Wow Erin cannot believe you brought issues to the surface for me. Thank you so much!!
Thank you for being raw and real. Sharing this on your platform is powerful and so helpful. You’re sharing the insecurities many of us feel/felt, yet don’t really talk about. I’ll be buying that book. 😊 Thank you Erin. ❤️
I initially started watching your videos to figure out how to find my style again. But your recent mind-body content has really struck a note with me. I’m 66 and have been in therapy for 20+ years in an attempt to heal from a very dysfunctional childhood. Recently I’ve been able to connect with a therapist who has opened my eyes to how my childhood continues to inform my adult life. I’ve been reacting to my adult situations using the coping skills, etc., that I had used to protect myself as a child. I thought I had survived my childhood and I was in control of my life as an adult. In reality I’m reacting to things in my life like I did as a child. My mistrust of people, my difficulty making friends, my constant soul crushing depression, my inability to accept myself in any way affects my life on a daily basis, and always has. I’m just now beginning to see the correlations between my reactions as an adult and the things I suffered and believed as a child. I have also gained weight going through menopause, and my body looks older with more lines and wrinkles on my face and elsewhere. I also have trouble looking in the mirror because I hate what I see. I’ve always felt like I was never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. So the things you say you have experienced and continue to experience really resonate with me. Thank you for being so honest when you share the things you have gone through and are still experiencing. I never would have thought you have the same dysfunctional feelings about your body that I do. Listening to what you’ve gone through and how you are now in the process of healing gives me hope for the future. I know it can’t be easy exposing your innermost thoughts and feelings on UA-cam. I see your eyes begin to fill with tears and I connect with you in a way I never thought possible, especially since it’s not happening in real time. Thank you for caring so much about women you have never, and may not ever meet. The love you show during your videos is actually affecting hundreds of thousands of women. And I am one of them. I look forward to watching your videos whether they’re about style or your journey to love yourself or ways the rest of us can help ourselves. So please don’t ever wonder if you’re getting through. I know your videos and ideas have helped me, and I don’t believe I’m the only one.
Erin i been blessed that I was born with a beautiful body. There is always other things in our life that we’re not happy I want to tell everyone that no one is completely happy. I been dealing with Melasma but i started to accept my self .. I saw a beautiful doctor and she told me to start love my self . I’m glad you’re talking about this you’re are beautiful inside and outside..
This really hit him with me like a lot of other ladies out there I am sure. I have always been active and have never had much of an issue with my weight but when I hit my 50's things started to change a bit, I have had to work a little harder to feel good about my body. Listening to you talk about body image through this video has made me realize that I shouldn't be so tough on myself. Erin, I love so many of the things you said but when you talk about thinking of food as a way to nourish your body in a healthy way INSTEAD of the calories it involves (as I often find myself doing) really makes sense to me. Thank you, I really feel that every word you said really came from your heart. Please keep doing more videos like this!
Thank you Erin. I resonated with literally everything you said. I've been locked in a battle of hatred with my body since jr. high. In 7th grade I stopped eating and wore huge shirt dresses to hide my body which I was terribly embarrassed by. Years later when I looked at a photo of myself at that age I was startled to see how terribly thin I actually was- even while I saw a "fat girl" looking back at me in the mirror. That's when I knew I have body dysmorphia and I can't really trust my own eyes completely when I look at myself. I don't know where it came from but my therapist says most of her anorexic clients had overly-controlling mothers. I have tried looking at myself in the mirror and saying "I love you" as you suggest. I can do it but it feels disingenuous. I suppose I should continue though. Thank you for this sharing and for holding us up. You are shining such a bright light. Thank you.
Testimony is the food of connection when shared. You can talk about anything but to share experiences you change the conversation to connection and healing. It’s about being vulnerable and sharing without feeling concern of judgement from others….that’s when you feel complete and safe to be you. When women embrace this, that is when we can accept and love ourselves. Thank you for being a great pioneer in connection.
Really helpful Erin 💜A nod to folks who don't have access to healthy food or therapy or who are in bodies our society can't seem to embrace. It's lovely to all be in this space together on our inner style journey😊
Hi Erin…….I have listened to your video over the last two days. I had to sit and process everything I was thinking and feeling as you spoke and I would stop the video to really marinate on it. I am 61 1/2 years old and I have spent my life examining every inch of my imperfect body and every exercise workout that I have ever done trying to get rid of perceived imperfection. I spent years just focused on this idea of self image and what I was supposed to look like. It has been exhausting. I have been so hard on myself and I can see in your words that you have too. In the last two years I have been putting this all together and when your video appeared you said everything that has been running thru my brain. Thank you for speaking on this. I am going to do exactly what you suggested. I am going to get up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself…..I love you. I will let you know how it goes. I love your videos and all your suggestions even though I am way over 40…;) You are a bright light Erin….continue to shine brightly.
This is so sad. I'm an actress past model in L.A. The belly of the beast. I was never thin enough, tall enough, pretty enough, etc... It's our culture and it doesn't effect men in the same way. It's sick! It also sells a ton of products and keeps us "in our place" as we're too busy hating on ourselves and trying to improve to look around and say, "WTF?" Thanks for this video Erin.
*keeps us in our place* is exactly what I was thinking as I was watching. Why is it that SO much of what men do keeps us down? We’ve bought into it so much that in addition to hating ourselves we judge each other so harshly. We should be lifting each other up and up! And, that’s what I endeavor to do!❤️
It IS sad. You've dealt with this on an even deeper level. It's not fair, and it's toxic. Time to demand a change, and it starts within. Thank you so much for sharing your own viewpoint here, Irene. xo
Ironically I wanted to reply that for the last couple of years I have been working as a construction worker in tbe skilled trades. I walk around grubby, sweaty, and no makeup but never have felt so good about myself and get admiring looks all the time. It is very physical and it helps to be in good shape.
And they say alllll of that just to photoshop! TOTAL BS!
Yeah and we need to be looking around and saying WTF too…
You asked us to share so here it goes: I had lots of trauma in my life - most of it in my family of origin. I tried sooooooo many different things including EMDR, hypnosis, cognitive behavioral therapy, medications, and the list goes on. Nothing worked until I totally gave my life to Jesus and let Him show me how loved and precious I am. The hardest thing for me is to just be still in His presence and let Him heal me. Like you I am still on this journey but I have had miraculous healings so far (that doctors cannot explain) of many health issues including very bad physical, mental, and emotional issues. In order to love yourself fully you first need to learn what love is. I did not know what love was until Jesus showed me. Now I am able to love myself and therefore love others. I'm living my best life now and it keeps getting better! Sending you lots of hugs and love! 🥰 Erin, you are beautiful just because you are. From a gal in Canada who is turning 50 in November.
Amen
🙏Amen and Amen Zoe Lynch 🙏. 🙋Also in Canada 🙋
Yep. Thanks for this.
I agree 100%! I tried all the other things as you did. But allowing Jesus to really hold my heart and work with Him spiritually has made all the difference!! It is an on going journey....but a joyful one! It started with a book by Neil Anderson called The Bondage Breaker. Being mindful of how I spend my time, what I watch on TV, what I listen to etc. Finding these videos that Erin is putting out here is the icing on the cake I need! Blessings and joy ladies!
I always felt that you promoted the worth of women beyond their physical appearance. You are beautiful inside and out .
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment, Sharon! Truly appreciate YOU! xo
I agree..I always thought Erin was just as beautiful inside and portrayed that in her videos.
When my exhusband moved out, even though I was so upset, people started telling me how wonderful I looked. I realized the lack of stress, and the fact that it was now safe to sleep at night started showing in my face and posture.
Oh gosh Erin, you hit on so many of my issues. As an ex- model, who is now 50, a wife and mother of 5 boys and being in the midst of the big Menopause roller coaster. There are good days and bad days and I am trying to give myself a break.
I have spent a lifetime of criticism for being too thin or to fat, having my measurements taken and being weighed on a scale in my bra and underwear weekly at the agency to see if I was “skinny” enough only to be told I needed to gain because I was too thin once I lost the weight. I too have carried trauma and shame and find it hard at times to love myself ( well if I’m being honest most of the time) So much of what you said in this video resonates with me. I cried with you several times. Most people ask me how I do it, how I look so wonderful after having all those kids and Even though I smile and say thank you, I think to myself “ She must be seeing things that I do not see. I do have days where I feel good so I look good and can actually love myself a little but unfortunately those days are few and far between.
I am going to consider some of the therapies you suggested. I debated several times wether I should even write this online, but I read through the comments and saw that I am not alone. We are not alone in the struggle and it’s support that I get from watching you be so real that encourages me. Thank you Erin. Lots of tears today. 😢
I’m so happy for you Erin that you are taking this path! The journey is worth it. A few years back I stopped giving compliments based on appearance. This was key for me. No more,” you have pretty hair “ or “ or your so slim” etc. the only way I comment on a woman’s appearance is to say, “ I like your style”, “ I like the way you paired that together” or even “ I like the way you do your makeup “. Because now I’m complimenting her ability instead of appearance. This has helped me and I also hope it helps other women shift their mind set. It’s ok to realize that an older or even old woman isn’t beautiful in the same way a 25 yr old is and that’s ok! It’s a hard truth of life but I’m accepting it. Hopefully a life of goodness radiates from within and shines outwards. And that is the beauty that others see. I had to confront my belief that beauty was part of my value. How messed up is that?! We’re valuable just because we’re God’s creation. We are his children and that simple fact, means we have inherent value. Sorry for the long message, but I feel so passionately about this. Hope this helps someone.
Such a great shift to make with our words. SO powerful. Thank you for sharing, Kristin! xo
LOVE this!!!
One of the best compliments I've ever gotten was when I was doing school supply shopping with my 2 kids. This woman said "Oo...I love your whole look, you have such a great energy". I was blown away. What a great compliment! I will never forget it!
Kristin you are absolutely right, We all have the change, I will do it!
I LOVE the way you compliment in a woman's or man's ability to put an outfit together, style their hair, etc. FANTASTIC!!! Thank you!!!
At more than 6 decades of life, I look back at things that bugged me about my looks in my 40’s, 50’s and have to laugh. Taking care of your physical health, diet, etc. really does pay off - you are correct to advocate that. I feel more joy with age and somewhere along the line learned to accept compliments. Embrace the joy of where you are, Erin. Relative to me and likely other listeners, you are still young!
SO glad you are here, Teresa. Thank you for your sweet comment. xo
I agree 100%! 😊
Amen sister! I so agree with you. I can still walk, hike, and do yoga. I am so grateful for what my body can do. I work on my inner woman instead of focusing on the shell. I love the person God created because I am able to love God and love people within this body. I simply get up and do the next right thing. Oh, and I laugh a whole lot with my family and friends.
I agree, Teresa. We hate the way we look now, but when I look at my photos from 10-20 years ago, I wonder what was I complaining about back then? I looked good. But it certainly wasn’t my frame of mind back then.
It took me most of my life to come to these realizations. I was molested as a child and hospitalized due to that molestation by the time I was 13, my female organs were pretty well trashed. I’m currently in my 60’s, have had lots of therapy in several modalities…all of it helps. Learning to love ourselves is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. I was always reaching to capture the 10# weight loss to feel better in my own skin. I never felt attractive, never felt worthy, never felt enough until about 5 years ago. I went through a very rough time, a time that I didn’t think I would live through. It took that experience for me to realize that I am enough, I am worthy and I am beautiful! Preach the good fight sister! We are all worthy! We are all beautiful! Thank you Erin
Amen! Thank you for sharing because I'm not feeling good about myself. Looking into the mirror telling myself will be a miracle. I've been chasing a size 8 for 23 years. I have given up! I feel fat, have a big stomach, and nothing looks good on me.
God bless you Veronica.
I am so sorry you went through such horrible abuse but I applaud you for your bravery.❤
Bless you. You are strong and an inspiration.
It is astounding reading through the message board how many women have suffered molestation in early childhood... including myself. The women are also around my same age...body image is a negative factor in plodding through life...so much therapy...years of mental work on ourselves...I pray that the next generation can soar freely from this plight. Keep working ladies on your mental journey towards healing. I am MUCH better and so I know it is possible to get there. Thank you Aaron for bringing this to light...your struggle is just as real and I know I could say YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and CREATIVE but you have to be in the space to receive it, I pray you get to that point.
Well you made me cry and I'm thankful for it. Aging is so freakin difficult for women and I remember you talking about not becoming invisible. I look in the mirror and say I love you and you matter. I stopped obsessing about my weight by eating better and practicing self care. We are worthy, and we matter. Love you Erin, so brave and courageous.
I'm literally STUNNED that you've made this video. Just a couple days ago I was saying, I really need to draft my feelings and thoughts to share with Erin about how all of the sudden, thanks to her, the light switch has really come on about finding my true style and fashion. At almost age 54, I've decided to really revamp my entire wardrobe and enhance my style, and in some ways, who I am because of it, in that, you always say that we tend to feel our best when we think we look great and stylish, which is true!
Anyway, I wanted to tell you how much I've learned from you and how I'd been watching you on and off for a number of years, just not on a regular basis, and in Sept of 2020 when I saw your video about not drinking, I quit drinking for 6 months and it made a huge impact on my face and body. I started again due to some extremely stressful circumstances that were occurring in my life last spring, and just a month ago, literally, on 8/14, I watched that video again and decided to stop and hopefully never go back. The main reason, other than it's expensive and ultimately detrimental on many levels, is because I am getting close to menopause. Believe it or not I'm still regular like clockwork, even at almost 54! That said, I've been doing some intermittent fasting and trying to really pay close attention to my body because I'm someone who has struggled with it my entire life. I struggled with eating disorders and self loathing for pretty much all of my life and even at the time's when people were always praising me and telling me how great I look. I just could NOT accept it for my own self. I recently was watching one of your videos and I was noticing things you said about your shape, and I was saying to myself, it's so wonderful how she's so comfortable in her body, no matter what goes on, before she lost weight gained from menopause, after she lost weight from it, then went to Europe and said she gained some again... she is always SO seemingly accepting of herself and I just wish I could be like that.
When you talked about your husband giving you compliments and how you feel about others complimenting you, we are exactly on par with one another. When I truly think about it, I know I am an attractive woman and I know the blessings that I've been given, but I still don't take those compliments and accept them in a way that is healthy or that makes me experience healthy satisfaction from being complimented, which is abnormal and dysfunctional.
Anyway, I am just so astounded by this video that I needed to comment and say THANK YOU. Thank you for being someone who's SO REAL. It really is like having a true friend that we can all come to and recieve such uplifting, and powerful advice from. It's never been so relevant for us older women than it is now. In fact, the world young people are growing up in now is "filtered", on almost every level, impatient, often ungrateful, lacking grace, and in many ways, even dignity. WORST of all, it lacks a lot empathy. The very least thing that we should all be able to do is to love ourselves enough to be able to hopefully love others, because hurting people all too often, hurt othe people.
Thank you again for shining a light in a very dark place. I love you, Erin...God bless you, your entire family and all your followers ❤️
Hi Michele, I had regular periods until 56 and then they were regular in time, but as heavy as heavy could be! They finally stopped at 58. My Mum was 57. Sounds like you're in our camp. Just a warning about them being really heavy - be prepared. If they had started when you were at home, you wouldn't have gone out, but of course they start at work!! Needing to change every 3/4 of an hour or so is a big nuisance. I hope that is a bit of practical help with all of the things you have been through.
girl! I have a belly for the first time in my life (meno pot) and there are days that I really struggle with it. Most days I authentically don't mind my little belly at all - but on those other days it is rough. Hugs to every single woman out there feeling this. Yoga has been life changing for me because most days I own and love this belly. My body is strong and healthy - and IMHO that is what is truly beautiful!
Thank you for sharing your own story, Lori! xo
Oh my god same. .. I NEVER had a belly or rolls, I do now and I’m don’t know how to deal with new body. I have not had sex with my hubby in over 8 mos cuz I hate the way I look and do not feel sexy
I had someone tell me recently that I looked good and was thin. She said, "I would love to be your size." I told her, "no I still need to loose weight." I have been taking dramatic measures to better myself in this area(not good). The compliment I was given reminded me that what I don't like about myself, another woman would love to have. Likewise, I always look at women that I wish I could look like and be more like. I wonder if they see themselves like I do, as beautiful. Like you said, comparisons can be really unhealthy. I am a therapist and see all walks of life. People have very wonderful lives in my eyes, but they aren't happy, even suicidal. I have also spoken with many women who have really been through VERY hard lives. I can't explain why people are born into hard situations (abuse as child, etc.). I also think, wow 'and I thought my life was hard," but there they are working through it all, despite horrible situations. It has taught me a ALOT along the way...life can be very hard, but it can always be better by NEVER GIVING UP, and as you said, being kind and loving ourselfves!.. Telling ourselves we are strong, and even if we don't see it. I believe that GOD gave us purpose, but that is another whole conversation. Someone on here talked about complimenting others and that is SUCH a good point! You really don't know what someone else is going through. One small compliment could do more than you know. Erin, what a good video!- I'm glad you are working on loving yourself because in soo many eyes you ARE very beautiful (inside and out)! I watch your videos because I LOVE your style. We are the same age. I have been trying to look better in any way I can now that I'm getting older. However, thanks for the most important reminder, to work on feeling good inside!! I will use this today not only for myself but helping others! Thank you, thank you!💕
YES! Love this.
I’m still trying to figure out how bringing a steak home for a date night that they got from a sales meeting is something they would think I’d like to discuss my day over. You put no effort into taking me to a restaurant of my choosing, or preparing the meal with me. You’re lucky I didn’t put my foot on it.😂
Aww Erin, ❤ if only you could see yourself as we do. Smart, stylish, inquisitive, and generous of spirit. I’m 56 now and though it’s tough to see the aging changes, I try to be grateful for the years lived. There are a lot of miles on me but it’s a privilege to get older. I love that you flipped that phrase… feel good, look good. Thank you for constantly evolving and sharing your journey with us.
So brave! It isn’t always “acceptable” for beautiful women (or women that society deems beautiful) to discuss struggles with insecurities or body image- but the reality is that if we don’t see OURSELVES as beautiful, it doesn’t matter how many compliments you receive and it doesn’t fix the issues within us. Thank you for the video!
You're exactly right, Ranea. Everyone has struggles, and no one is perfect. It's sure a tough journey...but such an important one. SO glad you are here. xo
Thank you good advice ❤️
Erin, IMO, this is possibly one of the most important videos you've ever created (if not the most)! Your heartfelt sincerity along with the powerful life lessons learned is absolutely inspiring and hopefully life-changing. I appreciate you being so openly honest in sharing with us your struggles and vulnerability... I dealt with bulimia in my teens and struggle with body dysmorphia to this day. Every day is an active effort to unconditionally accept and love myself for who I am. I too have that book and recommend it to everyone I know! So many of us are dealing with (whether we know it or not) unresolved trauma, shame, and perfectionism. This struggle is real, and thank you so much for taking the time to reach out to us with not just the important message, but also the steps we can take towards healing. I've been thinking about hypnosis and somatic therapy for the past two years but I wasn't sure. I've already tried a few other therapies as well as breathwork and mindfulness meditations, etc. I'm now ready to take the next steps... I hope for your continued success on your journey toward self-love and acceptance, as well as emotional and mental well-being. 🙏 Keep up the good work! Just love you! ❤
I'm SO glad this spoke to you. Sending you SO much love and strength on this journey. xo
Preach! I am constantly fighting the same 10lbs. I lost significant weight because of stroke factors in my family and a close call that I had. With Menopause,it has been harder to keep my weight down, but I need to. I have finally decided that the fight I choose to take on is not looking better, but living better. I believe that one will lead to the other. I am looking forward to how it will change my attitude with my body.
Goals of health and wellbeing is such an important mindset shift. Thank you for sharing your own story! xo
My stroke was definitely related to low weight and chronic malnutrition. That's the word that I cherish now that I denied before - "nutrition". Nourishing the brain is essential regardless of one's body. Glad you're here!
As a long time viewer, I think this is an great and important shift in your content and messaging. Good on you for owning it and flipping the focus.
Thank you so much for this video. It reminded of an article I read years ago about elderly people facing death and sharing what life had taught them. Several women mentioned they wished they hadn’t been so critical of their appearance. They said that now that they knew they would soon be dying and leaving their body, they felt nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the body that had served them so well.
What an important conversation Erin. Your vulnerability will help so many. Gaining self esteem is the root to all joy as well as that daily refresher that God made us perfect in His eyes. If only we saw ourselves as He does
Thanks so much, Dominique. Such an important topic, even though it was hard to share. xo
I went on this crazy spiral a few years ago, as menopause set firmly in. My body and mind were in a strange space. I’m so SO grateful that I found Erin and Dominique Sachse - you both threw me a lifeline of transparency (and lately, I’ve watched you go through and process incredibly hard stuff) that genuinely inspires me. Social media can be such a soul sucker, but your UA-cams are so very powerful. I know it takes a lot of effort and time and emotional stamina. Thank you for being open, joyful, helpful, modest, and classy. I’m truly grateful!
I’m 54 and post menopause. I don’t recognize myself anymore. This video really resonated with me as I’m sure it did many other women. I’m naturally hard on myself, and it is a roller coaster of stopping that self emotional abuse and going right back to it. I’m glad you mentioned EMDR. It has worked for me in the past for other traumatic events, and my therapist and I have just started using it for this very reason. I’m saving this video because it is very inspirational with realistic (and yes, difficult) tips. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for your honesty and bravery in doing so. I appreciate your being genuine in your mission. I think you are the only individual on social media not solely trying to sell product.
I have a hardship as post menopausal weight gain vs style. We love to travel and want to "look" like an European local but nope more like a Fattie and how do I dress like a Local
Appreciate her video. I have gained/lost weight since early 40s now 15 yrs later. Sucks cause I want to dress like an European for travel but I am overweight American.
I see nothing wrong with “If you look good you feel good” mantra because it really works. When I fix myself up no matter what weight I am, I feel better. And when I take pride in my appearance, I do feel better when I look in the mirror. It’s not good for my mental health to let myself go. I discovered this during lockdown. Especially after menopause. However I understand this valuable message and truly appreciate your honesty and compassion 💕
Something that has always helped me is GRATITUDE. When I was younger I would literally meditate on how thankful I was for breathing for having the ability to walk and to think, and to physically be able to do almost anything I wanted. Haven’t done that in a while but want to start again. I think gratitude is a step toward learning how to love yourself and your body, just as it is. Thanks for sharing ❤
Thank you for your honesty❣️Wow, I related to your story & body image. I’ve lost 126lbs. & now am able to look at myself inside as well as outside with love, no more hate! I’m 68 & love my body & it’s extra skin, wrinkles, & lines. Yes, I had surgery to get to this point. A year of prior very hard work went into this process & many, many failed diets & hardships. I wish I hadn’t lived 68 yrs. with looking away from those plate glass windows being ashamed of my image. Hugs & love for your help❣️
Your soothing voice helps deliver such a powerful message for every young and seasoned woman. I can sense the vulnerability and courage it took for you to share this and for that, a heartfelt thank you for truly talking about something we have all experienced. Thank you for being bold and for the great tips on owning and deciding to focus on LOVE and gratitude for our wonderful bodies that do so much for us ❤
I honestly didn’t want to share this video. I woke up in the middle of the night last week and got a strong download, you don’t want to share this, but you have to because it’s so important! I sincerely hope it helps some of you love yourselves more.
@@BusbeeStyle I am glad you shared this video. Perhaps your BRAND is shifting a bit and naturally as you grow as a human spirit. I am here for it and rooting for you Erin!
Such an important topic Erin. As a mom of 2 teenage girls it's so hard to teach self love and acceptance especially when you are an aging woman who struggles with it herself. One of the issues my girls and I have noticed is that in advertising and media there are 2 types of bodies being represented- very thin and fit or plus size and curvy. We never see women or teens that fall somewhere in between. I'm a size 4 but I've got a little muffin top and no thigh gap and loose arm skin. I also have a very rectangular body shape with little waist definition.My weight could be better but it's in the healthy range and I'm not super motivated to fix that because I'm a foodie. My daughters notice the same thing for themselves. You hit on it in your video when you said "am I supposed to be a curvy hourglass or stick thin?" What if you are neither? Thanks for a great video!
Thank you for spotlighting the truth about societal expectations of women's bodies and how unattainable, inaccurate and unkind it is. I love your authenticity and vulnerability..Everything you said was spot on, super helpful, and I hope more women begin to heal their emotions and beliefs around their bodies. Thank you!
We feel alone in this, but the truth is...there's so many other women going through something very similar. It's such a tough journey, and a constant process...But SO vitally important for our growth, healing, and happiness. Thanks for watching, Tennille. xo
When you said to look in the mirror, and tell yourself, “I love you,” the thought of that action brought tears. Thank you for talking about this topic. Even at 63 years, i have a lot of issues in this area as a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and an 84-yo mother who weighs 109, and still talks about her weigh daily. She dieted every day of my childhood. My siblings and I all have issues about body image. I tried not to be like her and make my children, especially my daughter, obsessive about body image, but I know I wasn’t successful. This was powerful & very helpful for me to realize I have huge issues, and need to get help. I have watched you for years and love the videos. Thanks so much. Much love to you Erin. ♥️
Wow, just wow 🤩 Erin, so powerfully personal and profound! Vulnerable and honest! Your words are the truth that needs to be spoken more and more amongst all women and to the young girls that are facing so many stereotypical representations of “acceptable” bodies, faces, etc.
I’m not like I used to be but my body has also been thru horrible health challenges- I’m lucky to be alive and look in the mirror now with a different lens. Gratitude that my body has been strong, that my mind is strong, that I have more than many do in this world. Outer beauty is skin deep, inner beauty and kindness never fades and it loves others just as they are 💗
Thank you for your beautiful & kind comment! And truthful and candid. My heart is touched by this video and your comment.
Well said! I completely agree. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves for our own well being, and to show our daughters, granddaughters, and other women the way to self-love. I have just started this journey too. A great book is “Self-Compassion,” by Kristin Neff.
Thank you so much for sharing, Laurie! I'm inspired by your words, and know others will be too. xo
Thank you for addressing this. I spent 27 of my 44 years chronically ill. I was a model as a tween before I got ill. I barely had the energy to walk up stairs or brush my hair. I went from being a pageant girl to someone who became a shadow of that girl.
It took me years to learn to love myself and honestly after having my son and becoming a mother, my energy shifted.
I am so proud of you for finding this self realization and sharing it with your audience. I am a personal stylist and my passion is helping women find love for themselves where they are at any age or stage.
I did not look sick because when I had the energy, I poured it all into my appearance. If I looked good, eventually I would feel good. After 3 decades, I realized that I was doing myself a diservice to myself and others in the autoimmune community. Embrace what makes you unique. Love yourself ❤️ Thanks again for your vulnerability.
I have been a huge fan of yours for many years. While I can't relate to most of the fashion because I'm a server at a bar and don't have the income, I just think you are so beautiful and your style is truly gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your struggles, most of us just assume we are alone and don't feel adequate. To know someone I look to as the literal definition of perfect is struggling too makes me feel more accepting of myself. XOXO You are truly so amazing!
Wow, thank you so much for your sweet comment. Please know that you are not alone. Thanks so much for being a part of this amazing community! xo
Totally agree!
@@BusbeeStyle You're welcome! I sincerely love your channel and find lots of inspiration from you.
I am turning 40 in November and this year has been a rollercoaster emotionally. I have finally just started to treat myself with kindness. My daughter will be turning 20 as well, and she has helped me tremendously. Watching her become a woman has incrementally shown me how cruel I have been to myself over the years. I was such a hypocrite. I would be sitting on her bed, or driving with her, listening to all of the insecurities and criticisms that come with the teenage body and mind and I would try to empower her however I could to see the beauty that I see when I look at her. I would always remind her that she was just going through the challenging years we all went through, and that brighter days would surely come. I would remind her of her endless artistic and musical talents, her hilarious wit, and her fierce spirit that has always compelled her to fight for what is right. And then I would go on about my day spending most of the time obsessing about how much I hated my body and what it looked like. How disgusting it was to me and I was simply going to have to endure painful surgeries to look somewhat presentable and surely my husband would end up leaving me for someone younger and less “aged” looking eventually. And then I just continued over the years to dread turning 40, because I can’t seem to get it through my head that aging is a blessing from God. Even though I know this, all I did was obsess about getting older. This year I went on my own Tracy Anderson quest for perfection, dying to look perfect when I was finally at last forced to walk the plank to age 40. Then a few months ago I went for a run which I never do because I hate it… and decided to sign up for a local 5K being held on my 40th. (Ha)
I downloaded couch to 5K, and started there. I noticed that my reaction to stress and anger was always to run, so I started listening to my body. And when I would run, I would slowly feel better and my mind would clear and I would go back in my house without feeling the need to snap out on everyone. I realized what exercise does for my MENTAL HEALTH!!! I stopped being obsessed with TA because although I do enjoy her workouts, she always discouraged lifting any heavy weights and gosh dang it… I like lifting weights! I would avoid it at all costs because of course you end up building muscle and my Jean size will go up and I will hate myself for that etc. But I decided I was just going to start moving my body in ways that made me feel good mentally. Dancing! Running! Lifting weights! Stretchy yoga! Once I stopped doing it to “look” a certain way, I started enjoying exercise for the first time in my entire life. I started eating breakfast when I felt like it (heaven forbid if you are an intermittent faster). I allowed myself to eat healthy carbs with zero regret because sometimes you NEED CARBS! And I realized that it truly is sugar that makes me feel awful. Drinking makes me feel AWFUL. Once I started being kind to my body and to myself, slowly all of the self hatred is falling off of me like scales and I seriously cry tears of joy over it. And funny enough, I haven’t lost a single pound, and I am more active than I have ever been, and I truly do not care one bit!!! This video is amazing because I. Am. Living. This! I’ve loved you for years and years Erin, for this reason: you are a genuine, kindhearted woman who bares her soul for the world to see in hopes that you inspire and encourage all of us who can relate. I do relate. If we all put 20 lbs on because of menopause, and we have the people who love us safe and healthy in their beds every night, what on earth are we doing??? Let’s love ourselves more and treat ourselves we treat our own daughters. Thank you for this video, and I hope all the women watching find love for themselves.
I was never a runner. I had never ran an entire mile in my life. Ever- even in grade school. But I wanted to do it before I turned 40. So I did the C25K thing and did my first 5k at 39. I got out of it during the whole covid thing but restarted again and did another 5k last week. I’m 48 and in better shape than I have probably ever been.
This is so powerful and I appreciate your vulnerability! I think so many women in our age group grew up with magazines and so much toxic language around what was ideal. I can relate to so much of what you are saying at 47 years old. I'm working on it and will be on this journey with you. I appreciate you sharing this today. It was super helpful and some words I needed to hear.
You're right... We're gotten so used to the impossible and toxic beauty standards, that it is SO hard to break free from. But it is time! Thanks so much for watching. xo
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this and being so open and transparent. I have felt so alone on this menopause journey. I have aged what looks like 10 years in the last 2. I have gained a lot of weight and have been so down and depressed. That is the opposite of what my personality has always been. Please continue to share your ups and downs with this. It is more helpful than you will ever know! Much love to you!
Same story here Cristie, the speed of change is so difficult to accept…
This is how I first found Erin. My body had changed from menopause and it was cringy. Thanks for the tips you give us!
Cristie yes 👍😞 I couldn't agree more. It's the speed in which everything changes which is so hard to accept. I feel very alone because I'm the only person in my friends in this age group (40) to be going through it (perimenopause, weight gain, etc). This video was so great, the honesty ❤️ wishing you all the best moving forward
You just gave me the permission to say no to the gym and yes to a walk out in fresh air , which felt amazing. Taking the pressure off of myself to stay in routine and constantly checking off to do’s. Instead doing what feels right naturally in the moment
This is so good. I'm over 70 and am still working on all this "body acceptance" stuff. I take care of myself physically, go to the gym, yoga, etc., but aging and body changes happen. We put so much pressure on ourselves. Keep talking about this.♥
Erin , I asked for a sign last night and I got it through this video, I’ve been feeling so not worthy lately, I don’t know why , but I am promising myself today that I will look in the mirror and love myself because I’m worthy and so are all the women in this platform, I thank you for being so honest with your story and which you such much love, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, WE ARE WORTHY!!!
Erin, thank you for opening my eyes. I am 62 , still able to ride my horses, enjoy my grandbabies etc. but I have begun to Loathe Myself even more than I always have (aches and pains, saggier face) And I’m very aware of it and I don’t want to feel like that. I have so much to be thankful for. Thank you much for pointing many little/big details I have not realized I’ve been doing. It’s time for me to do some heart felt thinking. 💞, Cowgirl Deb
This is really kind of you to address this because as you mention, it’s something that affects most of us. The bottom line is that body shapes should not be a trend! Once we let go of that thinking it can be easier to accept ourselves as we are. The same person can’t look like Kate Moss one year and Kim K the next (without serious surgical intervention)
This video was incredible! Erin, you are walking courageously into such deep territory, and it’s an honor to go along with you. Your Feelings about your body really resonated with me. Thank you for all you do. You are wonderful!
Erin, thank you 😊 for sharing this. Cannot imagine what you’ve been through or are going through. I see you as a fighter who will get where you wanna be. I needed this so much! Personally, I’ve been body shamed, not by strangers but my own over achieving family, my mom, aunts, sister- in- law, sister in laws family, who are all stick thin! It was more painful, because it wasn’t strangers but my own family giving me a hard time for being slightly chubby. I’ve been on impossible diets, worked out 💪 so hard, I ended up a couple of years back with sciatica! My grandma 👵 doesn’t have sciatica, but I do. So I was forced to switch to walking 🚶🏾♀️ and biking 🚴♀️ instead of crazy aerobics! I looked at my brother, dad and husband and they all think they’re 17. They eat what they want and seemed happier! So I started “ copying” them! Now, I don’t miss out on food 🥘 or experiences, because I’m busy torturing myself and my body. Now if someone calls me “ chubby”, I say “ thank you 😊 “, “ yes, exactly” and wear it like a badge! Hugs 🤗, Amy
Hi Erin, so refreshing to hear your message. At 62, I feel like I’ve come into my own! I’ve earned the right to love myself and frankly get the respect that I deserve for being a mom, nana and wife. I love my wrinkles and saggy boobs. I wear them as a badge of honor. I wake up each day wanting to live my best life and I do. Not always perfect but no regrets. Not sure how long I will be on this earth so…carpe diem! Thank you for spreading the great news…we should all love ourselves and support each other. You are such a good person. I adore you! Keep up the great work!
Am 65 years young. And am still learning to love myself
Same Cynthia-- turned 60 this year. To younger women: feeling content in your body is possible when you develop gratitude for what your body has allowed you to DO!
It is so interesting to me that people who I think look perfect in every way, like you and my daughter, still have the same self doubt that I have. I always feel my self doubt is legitimate, in fact I know it is legitimate because I am overweight, have a crooked tooth, double chins , wrinkles and fuzzy hair! I think it is admirable that you and women who watch your programs continuously look for ways that they can represent their best selves. You always have good lessons. We will continue this journey together, we always feel better if we work at it both from the inside (emotional) as well as how we present ourselves to others (physical). Love ya!
No one is perfect. You're exactly right, Janice. Thanks so much for your comment! xo
I am so glad you spoke about this. My mom had me on a diet since I could remember. She was always thin and ended up with a chubby child. I still remember passing out in elementary school because she had put me on a lemon juice diet. I am still large- much larger than my mom- and to this day we still have a struggle about how we relate to each other when discussing my weight and my looks. My insecurities stem from how she viewed me and how the kids in school saw me- so all I could see was all those things that I was not rather than all those good things I was. I am trying very hard to not be like mom with my own daughter. I still hear my mom’s voice in my head when my daughter puts in clothes that I think don’t fit her but I try my best to not say the things my mom would say to me and instead try to offer her a positive view of herself. I am still working on myself because that inner view colors and shapes all my relationships.
Erin you’re honesty is beautiful and so helpful to your followers. So many of us can relate to our own body shaming and not realizing the harm. God made us in his image and we should remember that every day. You do seem lighter and brighter keep going on this journey and sharing is so helpful to many. Love your curls and blouse ❤️
Yep. I concur 100%. I was body shamed by my mother my entire life, even in my early childhood. I realize she was heavily influenced by societal messaging, but nevertheless I have struggled my whole adult life to love myself and my body. And my mother. I too only see flaws when I look in the mirror. Funny that my mother also raised me to clean my dinner plate and always served dessert every night before I could be excused from the table. I have learned to forgive her, but still learning to love myself. Thanks Erin.
We have the same mother: "Have another piece of cake, I made it especially for you," and one minute later: "You really should be watching your weight."
Rochelle, I am in the same club. I remember in 4th grade my mother telling me "hold your gut in!". I weighed 63 lbs. Mom seemed jealous of me. My sister added to it " big ears, Dumbo,can you fly? Brutal.
Mom died 18 months ago. I have removed all my siblings from my life. Toxic people do not get any part of me!
Wow! I went through something similar. Let's just say that my mom wasn't the best person to instill confidence in me...I guess when it mattered. Now I have myself and positive people in my life to make me feel confident. 👍🏼
I honestly appreciate you so much for always being so transparent. You are helping so many women. Thank you Erin❤️
Thank you so much for your support, Sandra! xo
I love this conversation. It’s a very serious topic and it’s affecting a wide range of women in all age groups. I’m in my early forties and it’s just in the last two years that I’ve started looking in the mirror again and caring about my looks again. For a long time, the only time I would look in the mirror was to do my hair and makeup in the morning and that was it. The rest of the day I would avoid it. I’ve been that woman that was conditioned to think I never enough because I had bad skin, I’m mixed race, and I’m on the heavier side. It wasn’t until I hit forty that I realized that I don’t care what other people think about what I look like or how I dress anymore. I dress for me now. I do my makeup for me now. I eat healthy and exercise for me and keep a healthy relationship with my doctor to keep my medical issues in check.
My confidence had dramatically increased because of my shift in thinking. You mentioned compliments…I give compliments freely to both women and men. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a upbuilding way. Doing this allows me to accept compliments when they do come.
Thank you for your courage in sharing your story, your experiences and thoughts and taking on this topic. The more we talk about this and break down these toxic behaviors and establish proper positive behaviors going forward, then the better chances future generations have of not repeating our mistakes. Sending you love and well wishes-B. 🥰
This is an amazing topic, I’m now 53 years old, I’m being skinny, fit and petite but never feel better with myself. even when I was doing all kinds of sports. Thanks for always try to help us feel free and confident with our own body types. It should be more of this positive vibes here. Yesterday I even feel confident to use a cropped top, my first time since my thirties when I was pregnant. THANKS FOR THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS
At 49, I wear the crop tops too now! I realized I could!
Bravo, Erin! I am so proud of you for having this conversation with us! Your honesty with us is such a gift. In the book DYING TO BE ME by Anita Moorjani, she had an NDE and while she was "gone" she observed how critical she was of herself while in her human body and how that criticism affected her physically, emotionally and spiritually. We are beautiful souls in this human form and our amazing bodies walk, talk, breathe, pump blood, feel emotions and carry us through this journey we call life. I am grateful for people like you who remind us to shine on instead of hiding our light. Bravo!
I just started following you recently and this was amazing and it brought me to tears because we do bury feelings of the past that do reflect in how we treat or view ourselves. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and make this a sisterhood of empowerment.
My goal is to empower, spread love, and build up this amazing community of women. I am SO glad you are here and that this video spoke to you! xo
@@BusbeeStyle Thank you! I feel the same way. As a health coach the message can get misconstrued or lost. Empowering each other is what we need!
I had a bit of a breakdown a few days ago about my body, and this video was like a lifeline. This peri-menopause is turning me inside out, and making me loathe my physical self. After this I also had a conversation with a friend whom I hadn’t seen in a while, who is peri-menopausal too, and I think that your “realness” in this video pushed me to open up to her and we supported each other. Thank you for acknowledging that beauty and style is more than following trends, and giving light to something that we all don’t talk about enough. Keep it up.
Same! I was in the best shape of my life in my mid 40s and then Covid happened and all of my workout studios closed. Then the peri-menopause stuff happened during that time and now I am heavier than I've ever been in my entire life and feel old and fat and gross. I just started HRT. I am hoping that will help, because I have zero energy to do anything.
Thank you Erin! Once again, you have brought another piece of my innate puzzle to the surface! I shared every tear while you spoke from your heart. Menopause, for me, lasted 12 years... yes, and I read that 14 is not uncommon. For those who go through it without hormone replacement therapy, it is a true eye opener! So many changes to adjust to, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are abundantly strong women by nature. 💖
We ARE strong. Though we sometimes forget it! Thanks for sharing a bit about your journey, Laurie. xo
Tears and all the feels! I remember this woman I worked with in my 20's. She was probably in her 40's. She walked with this sway in her hips that I just always admired. I always thought "Thats a real woman. I hope I'm confident like that when I'm her age". I also find it very difficult to take compliments. To really BELIEVE what the person is saying. But when I give a compliment, I really mean it! Why can't I give myself the same grace? This is hard. I start with a counselor next week. This is such a good topic. Thank you for sharing all of this. I know it wasn't easy. I'm going to talk to one person...you're talking to thousands.
Erin, I so appreciate your courage and vulnerability here. So much of this resonates! I know we are all on different faith journeys, but this is one thing I can add here that has helped me the most. Peace with God brings peace with yourself. There was a time in my life when I questioned God's existence, but after praying for Him to help my unbelief He has shown me more and more of who He is, and ultimately, who I am. Understanding why Jesus died on the cross was my first step. There is so much brokenness in the world. When the culture tells me I should be a certain way, I see that for the lie it is, and remember my identity is not in how I look but who I am now in Christ. This is hard to explain fully in the comment section. :) But thank you for listening and thank you for sharing your journey on such an important topic to so many of us! Blessings as you continue to learn and grow!
I just had my 71st birthday. I’m only going to be on this planet for a few more years so I don’t fret about not having a perfect body. I’m active, enjoy pretty clothes, make up- all the womanly things. My mindset has certainly changed as I age- it’s a wonderful thing.
This is so right on. I can’t take a compliment, constantly picking apart my body, comparing myself to other woman. It’s exhausting. At 63 I’ve been hating on my body for most of my life. When I look at old pics now, I think, okay not perfect but my eyes were beautiful? My hair is so thick, and my skin was amazing. Society has us believing we woman can only be beautiful if we look a certain way. Wait until you’re in your mid fifties and your body just turns on you. You work out, you diet, and nothing works. You feel, crazy enough, like you’ve been betrayed. Maybe we just shouldn’t focus so much on our bodies or anyone else’s body and work on our hearts.
One of the first things I remember my husband telling me when we started dating (I was 16 then) was even if we didn’t work out (which we have) I would learn to take a compliment. Up until him I really couldn’t take a compliment. I was a size 3 but the other girls and my high school pe teacher (female) told me and my friend (who wore a zero to prom that year we were fat. Early 90’s “heroin chic” was the timeframe.
I recently fell off a ladder and broke 3 bones in face I’m still healing but I know it’s not going to be like it was before, it’s forced me to really look at myself and who I really am, and I’m realizing there’s a lot healing on the inside that needs to be done more than the outside. Thank you so much Erin❤️
So Brave. Good on Ya Erin!! I went thru this a while back because I'm almost 67 now. I was Always thin, I was athletic all my life, I could eat anything and everything and NOT gain weight. And then 55 came along with 15 extra pounds and WOW was that truly hard to deal with.... Everything you spoke about here is what I would bet ALL of us have orcwill go thru in time. It's a huge thing that you're sharing it all because every woman needs to hear it. Thank you Dear Erin, God Bless you!!!
For me at age 51 having had a BC dx at 45 doing all the holistic work to heal from that which included a spiritual awakening, getting to know my Higher Self and realizing what 'self love" truly meant for me, I have never felt more beautiful, confident and secure in my body. I hear this from other women too. It shouldn't take a health scare to make us realize how blessed we are to be alive for this very brief time and to have a healthy, working body that shows up for us everyday regardless of how horrible we treat it, but that's what it took for me and the other side of that is beautiful. I am free now. I am so much more than my body, skin, and shape. There is so much peace in that.
Erin, thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I have been watching your videos since before my BC dx when you were living in Texas. You have grown so much and are so radiantly beautiful and sweet sweet sweet. I know that about you. Love Yourself! You are perfect as you are. The worst thing we can do to ourselves is allow our minds to go unchecked with negative thoughts about ourselves. Every cell in your body is listening to your thoughts. Your cells are informed by your thoughts. Think loving thoughts and your cells feel loved. Think unloving thoughts and your cells feel unloved. They will act and preform accordingly. Treat them like little children that need love and nurturing. I believe you know all this already, but sometimes we forget. Louise Hay has been a huge inspiration for me in this area. Her book "You Can Heal Your Life" has been life changing.
Side Note: Your industry unfortunately, doesn't make money off of people who are enlightened to the fact that beauty comes from within and the more at peace we are with ourselves, the less we "need" the outside to be of a certain societal standard.
Hey Erin, I'm 58 and happier than I ever have been with my body -- not a typical body shape which as always made buying clothes tricky when I had in my head what I 'should' look like. Recently my daughter told me about a book called "Women Don't Owe Pretty! " --- It is an eye opener on everything to do with women and girls and the expectations we have of ourselves and the systems that keep us feeling dissatisfied So Positive, so direct. I recommend for every girl and woman to read!!
Gonna check out that book!
I cried so much watching this Erin...:) you never cease to amaze me....when you are women on social media not only do we beat ourselves up, others do too. I could be 98 pounds and somebody would still say I was " fat" around my middle. I love life...I love clothes and my true focus is being grateful I am alive with a body that moves me through the day....my love to you always, Susan
Erin, your reaching out to us and being so honest makes us all feel so connected to you. You are real. No airs about you. You are vulnerable like we all are and you say it so eloquently that we all sit up and take notice. It does hit us one day that we are changing. Our bodies are aging and that creates a turning point where we have to decide how we are going to handle this. All your suggestions will help many people. I admire you so much. Your caring really resonates .❤️. BTW, this is not a compliment.. it's a fact
Erin, you have opened a floodgate for me that I could never do myself! I cannot thank you enough for your openness and honesty. I have been watching your channel for a while and love all of the style info you impart, but never feel I hit that nail on the head. I actually asked my husband to rewatch the video with me because you say the words I have never been able to say. We both did a lot of crying, for me it was cathartic and for him because he understands all the pain I have been keeping inside all our married life. I am 62 and have never loved my body or felt self esteem, quite the opposite. I cannot accept compliments because I just don’t see in the mirror what others do. My adult daughter overheard the video and us talking and she also cried for my endless struggles. I am ready to take the steps with therapy that will help me heal and I have you to thank for saying the words I couldn’t say. Your channel has been a blessing in many ways and I hope you continue to provide us with the tools to help us all feel empowered inside and out. ❤
Thank you so much for calling attention to this Erin! Confidence and self-acceptance, no matter where you are in a stage of life or what you look like is the most important style element! I think about my wonderful, beautiful MIL and her struggle. I have known her for 40 years and since the day I met her she has been on a diet, trying to be that which doesn't exist and never loving herself or her body. What a miserable way to live a life. Please, for anyone reading this, know that you are beautiful just the way you are on the inside and on the outside.
Erin- everything you said resonated with every cell in my being. I listened through tears for you and me. I am astounded by your courageous authenticity and admire you so much. I am 46, 20-30 pounds heavier than in my 20’s, struggling with PMDD and trying desperately to redefine beauty for myself at middle age. As we all know, “beauty” for women is narrowly connected to youth and there seems to be few role models for what we can REALISTICALLY aspire to for middle-age beauty-JLo or Heidi K. just rub in what is achievable for the minute fraction of genetically uber-blessed (and unlimited financial resources.) I have one 12 yr old son and as he moves into teendom, I find myself concerned with a declining essential worth as a woman-what value/power can I preserve in this effed up culture when I’m no longer “young and hot” or truly needed as a mother. I fear a gap of worthiness for women until the chapter of being a beloved grandmother. It’s SO UNFAIR and we have to reconstruct and reframe our value INTERNALLY to rebalance our culture. Like you, words can barely express how much I aspire to be a woman who fully owns and celebrates her entire self. I need role models so that I can become a model for others--we ARE on this journey together and the power of you sharing your truth on this platform is truly AWESOME! I have subscribed for years and want you to know that your contributions have meant the world to me-style is transformative and truly the expression of inner essence. (BTW- I started roller skating again 3 years ago and tears of joy rolled down my cheeks from some deep well of remembered childhood freedom-it was magic and I’m so happy you’re embarking on that journey too!)
The book you mentioned, The Body Keeps Score changed my life - I've read it 2x - I second your recommendation. I beat the fire out of myself because of the changes that come with aging and menopause as well as my height - 5-1 I have deeply hated myself for my height my entire life - I feel that I am worth less than others because of it - add to that the aging and I too have felt like I have nothing to offer the world and tha I'm invisible. All of this, and I am probably considered by other to be a very pretty person - I'm in excellent shape. But it's never ever enough - I loathe myself. I think many women feel this too. Thank you for bringing this up
You were fearfully and wonderfully made, the only one in existence - created on purpose by the master of creation, perfect - he makes no mistakes. Read it again. ❤️
Hey Beautiful lady! Thank you so much from bottom of my heart for sharing this ultra personal, emotional & poignant video. The struggle is REAL! I do know that we are all going through this in one form or the other. I’m slowly learning to accept myself & you have been a big inspiration that has helped me dig deep into myself and recognize all the negative & detrimental thoughts that have confined me for so long. Without a doubt, a self affirmation is a must and a necessary ritual that I have to do every day. Just like washing your face & brushing your teeth in the morning, I need it to start the day. I do well with structured & planned activities so being a stay at home mom’s life & lifestyle has been a major challenge and a conflict with my personality for too many years. So by making myself a priority and adding self care into my regular itinerary is slowly helping me break free from self loathing & societal pressures. Father time isn’t stopping for anyone and my body/face is aging, and I want to strive to grow old gracefully and enjoy my current age (50) without hesitation & regrets. I’m 100 percent with you reversing your previous statement “if you look good, you feel good” to “If you feel good, you look good.” The old statement was on a more superficial level but by just switching the sentence placement, the statement has a deeper and significant meaning. Thanks again for being so open and vulnerable with your struggles and willing to share & help others. You rock!! 💖💖💖💖
Its like you are in my head, I watched this eagerly to see how you handle this. When you mentioned step one I sobbed, the thought of it sent the fear into me. The self harm in relation to food I have done in the past is unbelievable. For the past two years these are demons I've acknowledge and am fighting. Then to realise someone like you, who gives the impression to the world you are confident in who you are, has the same inner struggles makes me feel less alone. The part about your body holding your past, makes so much sense and I hadn't realised that so thank you, you have given me a new focus to help me start to win this fight against myself x good luck on your journey and thank you so much for sharing x you're a brave and inspiring person for sharing this pain x
Thank you for this powerful video. I am 51 and on a journey to rewrite my own narrative. When I turned 50 I embarked on a “fix me” path that included a new diet, fashion update, and skin care regimen because in my mind I was trying to keep up with my former, younger self. Now a year later I too realize that my personal narrative was ultimately going to guide me down a toxic path. I now embrace the functionality approach. I take better care of my skin because like any organ I want it to be functional for as long as possible. I bypass the anti aging messages and ask myself is this product going to promote functionality. This also goes for weight loss and nutrition. I got back into strength training because at first I just wanted to look better. Now I maintain a strength training and whole foods diet because it improves how my body moves and functions. I am actively taking the power away from the industries that would have me in a self deficit mode of thinking by embracing my own agency to actively choose products and mindsets that promote increased health and vitality. I now feel that my personal narrative is healthy and sustainable.
This is such a powerful message.At 56 years young and weighting 139 lbs(I'm only 4"11) I can say that I'm greatful that I'm aging gracefully.My scares as well as my belly reminds me every day of the miracle of life.3 adult children and 5 grandchildren later I feel happy with myself.💙
Oh Erin, this video made me cry so much. It resonates hard. I so wanted to hug you as I listened. I think I always held you up as a ‘perfect’ woman because of how beautiful you are, and how together you appear to be. Of course, nobody ever knows what another person is going through or struggling with. Thank you so much for being real, honest, and vulnerable with us. Your beauty is not just on the outside! ❤
It saddens me terribly when women talk so awfully about themselves, or only see their perceived flaws - I want to hold a mirror up and point all all the beauty, power, vibrancy! But I can’t do this for myself.
It’s tragic and just wrong how we are brainwashed from early age to judge ourselves so harshly. I hope things keep shifting towards healthier messages from the media etc.
I’m going through menopause and it’s one of the hardest ever things I’ve gone through.
It’s funny, I’ve followed you for such a long time but only recently actively sought you out again, after realising j hadn’t seen your stuff in so long (UA-cam algorithm - grr 😡). I’ve been loving your content but this, this one is SPECIAL. They say when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear….bingo! Thank you.
Finally, I think it was Mel Robbins who says she changed her phrasing from “I have to/I should” to “I GET to” and that’s life changing right there! In reference to the movement thing - I get to go for a walk, I get to dance, etc. has never resonated more than now for me, since I have reduced mobility. Every time I can get outside (not often unfortunately) I rejoice in the experience and privilege of doing so, even though I suffer for it physically afterwards. Movement is a gift!
Anyway, I could ramble on for hours but I honestly will be thinking about all of this from now on. I hope you know it has helped, it’s important, it matters, and I t’s appreciated. Thank you xx
If we could see ourselves through the eyes of our loved ones, we might be kinder to ourselves, but we often don't even believe them when THEY tell us how beautiful we are. This is such a problem. I try to tell others something positive about themselves and struggle to be positive towards myself. And I've been in active therapy for the past five years. It's such a slow process, and we allow the work to get undone by one negative thought or word. You have been such a powerful voice for positive energy. Thank you.
SO very true. I wish it was easy to listen... Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your own story here. You are not alone. xo
Thank you for your honesty and bringing attention to this issue!
In terms of accepting compliments I wanted to relay what my mom said to me many, many years ago when I was a teenager and shrugged off a comment she gave me. She patiently told me a compliment is a gift someone gives you, and asked would you throw a gift back in someone’s face or toss it aside? Lightbulb moment! From that day forward I made sure I thanked people for their gift and took their kind words to heart. Her wisdom sure helped me, hoping it might help others. Take care :)
Thank you , thank you for opening up to us and talking about this important issue...I'm now 59 and dealt with everything you said all my life. I was never enough to me....too fat, too short, this not right, that not right, etc.
Now that age is really challenging me, it opened up a whole new world of self torture I didn't have before. it just won't ever end, I feel sometimes. But all in all I'm a happier and more confident person now though.
THANK YOU ERIN 🙏💚 this was SO powerful and empowering. so crucial. I feel you so much and can resonate with all you have said. I am on my own path and struggling. One thing that is extremely healing for me, is connecting to nature on my daily walk, and I mean it. In a very simple way, just walking/hiking, in the early morning, watching and feeling the trees, the birds, the squirrels, breathing in the air that is full of woody smells, feeling sunlight when the sun comes up, on my skin, it soothes my body and calms it, and makes me feel a part of the whole, and in those moments I can sometimes feel more than ok, even if only for a brief moment. I can feel that moving my body in a natural environment, and being mindful of my surroundings at that moment and feeling gratitude for the fact that there is nature and that my body can move in it, do have a deeply healing power. sending much Love and Light to you dear Erin, and to all of us. 🌷
What really hit me was when you said some of us use beating ourselves up as fuel to "do better" or "stay on track" because that is exactly what I do. And honestly, it fails me every time and then I tell myself terrible things and the cycle starts all over again. Thank you for helping me face this behavior.
It's a toxic cycle that is hard to get out of, Cindy. You're not alone. xo
Oh, my goodness, Erin! What an angel you are! I am much older than you, been through decades of therapy, mind classes, hypnosis, cancer, chemo, radiation, major surgeries putting me back together and my precious and beloved husband of 51 years who was also my work partner passed away a year ago and I thought I would just die with him because it was so unbearable. I could go on and on but my point is I'm just now, at this stage of my life, catching on to what is really important... because those events and more really put perspective on what really matters. I do finally look in the mirror and tell myself I love you! My husband told me those words every day that I knew him and I too never thought I was worthy of that. The truth is we are all Blessed with being a Soul created by God! We have 100 trillion cells in our bodies so how awesome are we!? You are beautiful, smart and have a wonderful heart and I love watching your videos. Thank you. ❤️
OMG! The tears 😢 You've really moved me. Thank you for your honesty and openness and practical, useful tips/steps to take to heal ourselves 😘🧡
It's a difficult discussion to bring up, but SO important for us all. Thanks for being a part of this amazing community, Amanda. You are not alone! xo
Thank you, Erin, for being so honest and transparent. Your video drove me to tears, it's a tough one. Menopause wasn't a rollercoaster for me, I called it a trip through hell and I know exactly what you are talking about. Now I am five years postmenopause and things are much better, time is a healer, too. Wish you all the best on your journey and keep on sharing your thoughts with us. And: you look so beautiful! 😊❣
Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Often we think everyone else is doing so much better than us. It is very generous of you to share. My discovery after menopause is that the intense workouts I used to enjoy just stress my body out now. I had to find gentler ways to move my body.
You are not alone, Lisa. Thank you for watching and sharing a bit of your own story here. xo
I’m so glad to hear you address this Erin, and I certainly hope you feel empowered by this new way of thinking! I’m 57 and feel happier with my body now than I did when I was a 21 yr old model. It takes work, and I incorporate the steps you listed. I have grown daughters, and realize it’s their time to be in the spotlight. It’s very freeing, actually. I love to dress with style every day and don’t see that stopping, but I’ve taken the pressure off myself to be physically perfect. Going through cancer twice has also helped with what is really important in life.
As well, I’ve stopped “following” those “mature” influencers who are obsessive and live what seems punishing lives. We won’t look like we did when we were 25, and it’s time we accept that and treat ourselves with love.
Thank you for this video..You totally verbalized my entire year so far..the dieting..not accepting compliments...being so uncomfortable, not looking at my self in the mirror at times with the light on...the ups and downs of menopause...insomnia..hot flashes..hair shedding...I will try all of your suggestions 💜
Hi B, thanks for sharing. I too am on a similar journey. Mine started in college when I took a women's studies class. The instructor made us examine our self talk. It was a crazy eye opening experience. I consider myself a friendly, accepting, soul but I was a complete hater to myself! Walking down the street I was comparing myself to others in a nasty way. Ugh!!! You are right when you said that it happens really, really quickly and we have to slow down to catch ourselves doing it. Now, I'm not so bad. It helps me to pray and ask to see others and myself the way God sees us. I believe spiritual nourishment is the fastest, most efficient way to undo social conditioning and trauma. I do not go to church but I pray a lot.
Erin this is it! I’m glad you are taking this mindset shift I’m doing the same. It needs to happen we need to help others with our attitudes. It’s not easy but we are smart women the only person who can help us love ourselves is staring themselves in the mirror xxx
Definitely not easy...but SO important! Thanks for watching, Alicia. xo
So powerful Erin. We women are are own worst enemies sometimes. We allow a society that is obsessed with looks and body image to create an unrealistic, unhealthy, and unattainable model for most women. It is fueled by a diet and cosmetic industry who feed on our insecurities. Social media who focus on how great someone looks in a bikini. I am to turn 70 in a few months. For the greater portion of my life I was thin and in great shape then menopause happened and I didn't recognize myself anymore. I could relate to your saying the diets you tried in search of if I just did... it is not a good place to be. Getting older isn't for the faint of heart. Seeing our youth slip away and becoming invisible to others and worse to ourselves. Thank you for saying we need to look in the mirror and claim our identity back by loving ourselves. I hope your journey brings you peace of mind, body and spirit.
Thank you for making this video, Erin. We can never have enough these talks & especially on this topic. Cried my eyes out cause it resonated so much, ESPECIALLY when you said looking in the mirror and not making eye contact with my own self. Thank you for using your platform to share with your sisters & the young girls who are so so impressionable.
We love you!!!!! 😊😘♥️
Thank you Erin…and add to that being truly aging (I’m 79) on social media…and choosing to do no corrective surgeries, fillers, etc. And aging fast in the public eye. So whatever issues I have with that and trauma to boot, some days I can be a mess if I allow it. I figured out many years ago that in order to just exist that I had to learn how to love myself. I can now love myself regardless of my overweight,sagging loose skin. I much prefer just striving to be the best person I can be every single day working with where I am that day….mainly being kind and continuing to feed my soul. I suspect you’ve touched many lives today with this video. xo patti (rock star mom) 💕🍃
Miss Patti..
I subscribe to your Channel, and I found so much Inspiration from you,
Because WHO YOU ARE internally, has always shown through . ...I couldn't believe you were actually your age, when I subscribed to your Channel 3 years ago. ...I thought, she looks so good and what an inspiration to women. ...I myself have not ever had any work done ( although there are people that used to ask me that quite often when I was in my fifties ..so they could not believe that I had not had any" work done " when I was you know 49.50 and up to age 55) It's Genetics, it's other factors. ..no one stays the same ,without some kind of " procedure ". I choose not to do that, so I'm in the boat with you, lol. I'm going to be 68 years Young in October and I really admire you because you have chosen to live your life so Authentically and so Genuinely ....to me that is invaluable and it's often lost in this day and time.
Yes, ... striving to be the best person we were designed to be ... feeding the Soul.
You've touched lives that you may not even be aware of, Patti , and watching Miss Erin do this means that people are finally " getting it ", that owning who we are IS work and it actually nourishes the Soul. She's touching so many lives with this Video, and it takes Courage and a desire to be really Authentic with her delivering this Message. God love her.
I have said this to my children for years and it's so funny.... I recently heard it and it's the first time I'd heard anyone say this, really ( other than myself ) and I would say to them " operate from the Soul , operate from the heart... don't operate from your Ego... there's a Balance. Which won't mean that you are being a doormat or that you're letting people walk on you... ; No . ...what you're doing is you're being true to your Authentic Self .... operate from your Soul , because when you operate from the Soul you can never go wrong.... "
🙏🏻✨️💜😊
.... I also have not ever agreed with the Keto thing because that is NOT a " one size fits-all proposition".. I've said that from the very beginning ,when everybody's pushing this Keto thing ...I'm sorry but I'm not giving up pasta and I'm not giving up dark chocolate and I'm not giving up certain things that I love to eat... I eat them in moderation. I'm not having them every single day and I don't want to be in this" box"- as she put it - where if I fall off the wagon " then I'm in a whole lot of trouble with you know, whatever " LOL.
No thank you. I'm so glad she addressed this.
"Movement as something you want to do vs something you have to do."
"Look in a mirror and tell yourself 'I love you'"- This is the beginning of Louise Hay's Mirror Work (affirmations) and the first step to loving yourself. Highly recommend to all!!! The first time I did it was soon after Cancer treatment and I cried. I kept going and a few days later I was smiling and meant it. Thank you Erin for posting this video!
Play in life...have fun...I am 60 years old...I just bought a yo-yo yesterday...my husband is learning how to surf...I also had sexual abuse from the age of 4 years old to 11 years old...I tryed therapy but the best thing I did was not having any sort of relationship with the abusive people including my mom...I haven't seen them for over 5 years and it has made a HUGE difference...I am back to a happy healthy woman helping other women in their journey. Positive vibes!!! I wish you nothing but joy and acceptance of ALL of your being...truly.
I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, and also honored to hear your story, Lona. I'm so glad that you are happy, healthy, and joyful now! What an inspiration. LOVE the yo-yo and surfing journeys too! xo
Same here. In my early 60’s and experienced sexual abuse from as far back as I can remember to age 18. I am trying to love myself and it starts with putting myself first instead of constantly caring for aging parents. My last parent passed away 2 weeks ago and I’m really trying to love me and look after me
This should be required watching for all women! Thank you so much for inspiring us to not just strive to look fabulous and put together, but to actually be whole, healthy, put together people. One of the best compliments to give and receive is 'you are beautiful from the inside out'. Erin, your videos and one-on-one advice have helped me so much as I struggle to embrace the PROFOUND changes of menopause. But what you address in this video is beyond important. We spend about 10 years in that mid-teens to twenties time when we had lots of hair, smooth skin and firm cheeks (up and down). And many of us didn't really appreciate it back then! But then we spend the REST OF OUR LIVES - decades and decades - trying to recapture that impossible to regain youth instead of learning to love who we are at any age, and learning to live in a way that heals us and supports our bodies and minds and spirits. My wish for everyone here is that you learn to love that person in the mirror. The woman you are right now deserves that love.
Thank you so much for this. I’m 44 years old. I know I’m overweight. It’s hard but I am trying to work out and walk and stay active and trying to eat healthy once in a while. I have two daughters and had two c-sections. They are pre- teens now. I had trouble loving myself, I can never say I’m pretty or I love myself. My daughters hated when I was always doubting myself or mean to myself. I will do what you say to do. I will try harder. Thank you so much for this. I appreciate you. I’m going through peri menopause right now.thank you for all the advice and being positive.💞❣️❤️💕👋
Thank you so much for this! When you said look at yourself in the mirror and say I love you every day it made me sick. Isn’t that thought sick?? At 64 it is better than at 14 on how I feel about myself. I try to eat well, move my body (not obsessed with either, thank goodness) but I do not truly love myself. When I get compliments I do thank them, but the voice in me says, “Don’t get what they are saying, I don’t see it or believe it!” One part, maybe I missed it, was what going through the pressures of adolescents does to a person. That is when the bad feelings all started for me and have never gone away. Wow Erin cannot believe you brought issues to the surface for me. Thank you so much!!
Thank you for being raw and real. Sharing this on your platform is powerful and so helpful. You’re sharing the insecurities many of us feel/felt, yet don’t really talk about.
I’ll be buying that book. 😊
Thank you Erin. ❤️
You're very welcome. I'm so glad this was helpful for you. Thanks for watching! xo
I initially started watching your videos to figure out how to find my style again. But your recent mind-body content has really struck a note with me. I’m 66 and have been in therapy for 20+ years in an attempt to heal from a very dysfunctional childhood. Recently I’ve been able to connect with a therapist who has opened my eyes to how my childhood continues to inform my adult life. I’ve been reacting to my adult situations using the coping skills, etc., that I had used to protect myself as a child. I thought I had survived my childhood and I was in control of my life as an adult. In reality I’m reacting to things in my life like I did as a child. My mistrust of people, my difficulty making friends, my constant soul crushing depression, my inability to accept myself in any way affects my life on a daily basis, and always has. I’m just now beginning to see the correlations between my reactions as an adult and the things I suffered and believed as a child. I have also gained weight going through menopause, and my body looks older with more lines and wrinkles on my face and elsewhere. I also have trouble looking in the mirror because I hate what I see. I’ve always felt like I was never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. So the things you say you have experienced and continue to experience really resonate with me. Thank you for being so honest when you share the things you have gone through and are still experiencing. I never would have thought you have the same dysfunctional feelings about your body that I do. Listening to what you’ve gone through and how you are now in the process of healing gives me hope for the future. I know it can’t be easy exposing your innermost thoughts and feelings on UA-cam. I see your eyes begin to fill with tears and I connect with you in a way I never thought possible, especially since it’s not happening in real time. Thank you for caring so much about women you have never, and may not ever meet. The love you show during your videos is actually affecting hundreds of thousands of women. And I am one of them. I look forward to watching your videos whether they’re about style or your journey to love yourself or ways the rest of us can help ourselves. So please don’t ever wonder if you’re getting through. I know your videos and ideas have helped me, and I don’t believe I’m the only one.
This truly made my week. Thank you! You WILL find your way to calm, peace and wholeness after trauma. Stay the course! 💗
Erin i been blessed that I was born with a beautiful body. There is always other things in our life that we’re not happy I want to tell everyone that no one is completely happy. I been dealing with Melasma but i started to accept my self .. I saw a beautiful doctor and she told me to start love my self . I’m glad you’re talking about this you’re are beautiful inside and outside..
I am SO glad you found that amazing doctor... what a difference she has made for you! Thank you for sharing that here. xo
This really hit him with me like a lot of other ladies out there I am sure. I have always been active and have never had much of an issue with my weight but when I hit my 50's things started to change a bit, I have had to work a little harder to feel good about my body. Listening to you talk about body image through this video has made me realize that I shouldn't be so tough on myself. Erin, I love so many of the things you said but when you talk about thinking of food as a way to nourish your body in a healthy way INSTEAD of the calories it involves (as I often find myself doing) really makes sense to me. Thank you, I really feel that every word you said really came from your heart. Please keep doing more videos like this!
Thank you Erin. I resonated with literally everything you said. I've been locked in a battle of hatred with my body since jr. high. In 7th grade I stopped eating and wore huge shirt dresses to hide my body which I was terribly embarrassed by. Years later when I looked at a photo of myself at that age I was startled to see how terribly thin I actually was- even while I saw a "fat girl" looking back at me in the mirror. That's when I knew I have body dysmorphia and I can't really trust my own eyes completely when I look at myself. I don't know where it came from but my therapist says most of her anorexic clients had overly-controlling mothers. I have tried looking at myself in the mirror and saying "I love you" as you suggest. I can do it but it feels disingenuous. I suppose I should continue though. Thank you for this sharing and for holding us up. You are shining such a bright light. Thank you.
Testimony is the food of connection when shared. You can talk about anything but to share experiences you change the conversation to connection and healing. It’s about being vulnerable and sharing without feeling concern of judgement from others….that’s when you feel complete and safe to be you. When women embrace this, that is when we can accept and love ourselves. Thank you for being a great pioneer in connection.
Really helpful Erin 💜A nod to folks who don't have access to healthy food or therapy or who are in bodies our society can't seem to embrace. It's lovely to all be in this space together on our inner style journey😊
Amen to this! 🙏🏼 yes yes
Hi Erin…….I have listened to your video over the last two days. I had to sit and process everything I was thinking and feeling as you spoke and I would stop the video to really marinate on it. I am 61 1/2 years old and I have spent my life examining every inch of my imperfect body and every exercise workout that I have ever done trying to get rid of perceived imperfection. I spent years just focused on this idea of self image and what I was supposed to look like. It has been exhausting. I have been so hard on myself and I can see in your words that you have too. In the last two years I have been putting this all together and when your video appeared you said everything that has been running thru my brain. Thank you for speaking on this. I am going to do exactly what you suggested. I am going to get up every morning and look at myself in the mirror and tell myself…..I love you. I will let you know how it goes. I love your videos and all your suggestions even though I am way over 40…;) You are a bright light Erin….continue to shine brightly.