Ghosting When Dating | ZULA ChickChats | EP 106
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- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
- In this episode of ZULA ChickChats, we discussed about ghosting in relationships. Watch to find out more!
Here are the timestamps of the topics covered during the episode:
0:00 - Intro
0:32 - Personal experience
10:40 - Explaining yourself or ghosting
13:55 - Q&A and advice
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Featuring:
Domic - / itsjusdomic
Chloe Abigail - / chlobigail
Renae Cheng - / renaecjc
Leah Shannon - / mizchiefmagik
Filmed By:
Lu Jielin - / adreamtolove17
Yeow Jia Yi - / yeowjiayi
Edited By:
Yeow Jia Yi
Business & Sponsorship Enquiries:
hello@zula.sg
Share with us your experiences of ghosting others or getting ghosted!
No enclosure would be the worst experience for me :(
Without any explanation...
but then again. Yes to ghosting for being not too good as a option to make
Have an episode about Renae and her online dating stories/tips/tricks please!!!
“Ghosting is an easier way out, but not everyone can handle that maturely.” - firstly, how is ghosting a mature way to handle things in the first place? It just shows you have no respect for the other party and simply can’t be bothered to even give an explanation or don’t even think the other party deserves a right to know.
Ghosting imo, no matter the reason shows someone who is emotionally immature. I’m assuming if the other party is a logical sound healthy individual la, a simple text like “I don’t think this is working out, let’s stop.” will do, instead of a total ghost.
yea justifying ghosting is real crap.
I learned it the hard way. I ever got ghosted in friendships and other relationships but I really feel it's not okay to go ghosting. At least closure to the matter. What's so hard about giving closure so that both of you can have time to grieve and move on? Never get people who go ghosting.
@@bernicecai8842 they just coward to be honest.
@@lialia3796 I ever ghosted on friends and people. Because I am not aware that this is harmful and hurting. But now I'm older, I realised it's not okay to do that. Yes I learnt it the hard way. You will be surprised many older adults go ghosting. Hmmm.
Thought ghosting is equivalent to ignoring some one who's talking to you (unless you really didn't hear it), which I've learnt is rude. But I've also heard that some unacceptable things can become socially acceptable once many people do it
The guy's replies are alittle immature. Brings a different perspective to the conversations but may not be the best model for teenagers to follow
Im really loving the TSL and Zula collabs, keep it going!
I hate ghosting. It's damn painful. If I feel something isn't right, I explain what happened instead of just disappearing. I think it's all about respect. A guy I dated at the beginning of the year ghosted me and I'm still upset about it. Please give people closure. It's really important!!!
Been a fans of zula since day one and quite disappointed that they casted a cheater. It would be lovely if you could just cast a decent guy☺️
yikesssss
I was seeing someone for several months but I wasn’t feeling it. When he ghosted me later on I was actually really relieved that he found me boring.
I think none of these are actually ghosting but rather a natural end to a boring conversation. Agree?
Oof very relatable! I agree that when there is a certain commitment level, ghosting becomes problematic. I was ghosted on the day we were suppose to go on a date after a few weeks of talking online. I waited an hour like a dumb person and didn’t get any response when it was time for us to meet up. I was ghosted physically and through online so I just block that person after that day.
loving that 1975 cameo!!!
How to move on after being ghosted:
1. Learn to understand that when you are being ghosted, the other party is now a ghost. And that person's love for you had died.
2. Because you have been ghosted, you will need to find closure by yourself. Take this time to understand your feelings. What are you angry about and why, what are your regrets during the course of the relationships and why you have such regrets, face your insecurities and if you feel spiteful towards your ex and why.
3. After you have done a thorough reflection, you can mourn for the past relationship and let out your sadness. If you no longer feel sad, good for you because you started to realise your self worth.
4. Once you realise your selfworth, it is time to work on yourself. Remember the lessons where you had let people treated you incorrectly and you will know when someone is treating you right. Take time to learn what you love and grow into the amazing person you are meant to be.
Hope this helps. Xoxo
Think the ultimate goal might be how one can/might be able to shape one's personality from the bottom so that one is able to genuinely (i.e. not doing things just for show) win the trust/affection/attraction etc. of someone else that one is interested in, & thus never get ghosted. Reason being that no matter the reason for ghosting, the result (i.e. loneliness) is the same. & I've heard others opine too that making mistakes in the 1st place is a sign that one lacks foresight over & EQ/common sense of what kind of behaviour will put others off/make them not attracted to you & lead them to ghost you, & thus a sign that you're immature. So the eventual goal should be to be good enough i.e. have enough EQ so that you don't make mistakes (that you'll've to learn from later) & cause destruction in the 1st place (especially as peers might be more simple-minded i.e. jump to assumptions more readily, & assume the only reason you got ghosted is that you're socially awkward. & they may be the majority of society; if so you can't just ignore them, as some might suggest, otherwise that might risk making you appear delusional. Maybe your peers will be the next to ghost you too? Since they judge you for that before you even have the chance to explain yourself. Which can become a bigger problem since we don't live in isolation, & sometimes have to rely on networking with other people for help to achieve various tasks in life). In other words, prevention over correction, since some one who succeeded after many failures might still be seen as not as competent as someone else who succeeded after fewer failures
O dear, I hope u will hv BETTER luck in dating, Renae😍. Jiayou💪
MDJDJDJDJ I am certain that zula is stalking me HAHAHAH 1st the grey area now ghosting zula really be predicting my status of my relationships
Funny how the girls have been sharing experiences of getting ghosted and feeling so affected wanting to know the reason why but would do the opposite and ghost the guy justifying that “it’s easier” for both parties. I guess things are only unfair when the females are at the receiving end while guys are forced to accept it
nothing but the truth here
16:39 i kringged
Hi I have ghosted story, I was dating a guy ten months and he just sorta disappeared in March/April. Never got a call or anything only a text for my birthday and then he resurfaced in July wanting to continue with the relationship like he never left. I broke it off right there and then he didn't even have an explanation as to why. Uhm and then now recently he contacted me again like hello dude move on!!!!
I end up getting ghost all the time on dating apps. Adopted a pet dog, I'm done.
LMAO my name is Sally xD and I can't hold my alcohol v well but I never drink til I am like incapable lol
Thanks Zula for always deleting / hiding comments that you don’t like 👍🏼 even when the comments are objectively innocuous
i thought i was the only one whose comments got deleted several times. SAY IT LOUDER.
YAH WHATS WITH THE DELETING OF COMMENTS SERIOUSLY. Zula is being so shady
because we adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us ;)
I think it's purely crap give justification and comfortable spot to people who commit to ghosting behaviour, and even pointed out people who get ghosted as 'someone who has to handle it maturely'. Jeez u guys turn all upside down. People who acted negatively with ghosting behaviour is someone who in fact still have the sanity, coz it's wrong thing, bad thing, stupid thing today's world has invented. If people grow up properly, have right sanity and a hint of integrity this behaviour won't even exist.
What is considered officially dating in terms of online dating tho, especially now Covid lockdown situation?
I would say officially dating even in online dating terms is when either party (you or him or her) talk be it through text or face to face about it and confirm the relationship of yours. Eg “So, are we a thing now?” / “Should we be exclusive?” / “do you wanna be together and see how things goes” etc. Because online dating is so vague whereby people are free to date or go out with anyone they like because they are single and free mingle, it would always be the OG (original) way of making it “official” by just confronting the person you are seeing and have like a verbal/written communication if y’all are exclusive or not.
@@brendalee8613 thank you for your answer, wouldn't that kind of mean being in relationship?
@@annaku5173 yep, officially dating means y’all are seeing just each other and no one else so it would be in a relationship (considered as bf/gf status)
@@brendalee8613 thanks for your answer :)
You can clearly tell that Renae and Leah are way more mature. Just look at the way they carry themselves and speak. The other 2 are giving me an aneurysm
Way more polished and comfortable in front of camera =/= way more mature
@@MaxJoseph999 ahahahaha okay, so i guess being proud and self-braggy about being a cheater is mature to you, ok bob lol
don’t get creeped out :) Chloe seems quite bubbly and nice! All the best to everyone here!
I cannot understand the part on Domic lying to Sally O_o I mean, what was the lie?
Prob lied about not fking Mary/flirting Sally, all whilst dating another girl. Basically, dude's a two-timing cheater who doesn't have a mirror at home. 🙄
@@jiaxinlee9726 how is that cheating when they both mutually agreed to not pursue a relationship? And he is just having fun with another girl who is on the same wavelength with him? If let’s say you and guy A decided not to pursue a relationship and you went out with guy B, is it fair for guy A to call you a cheater? Come on man ladies and double standards
@@kyuketsukii96 Well, glad you asked! I'm acquainted to the person this dude's dating at the point of time he was fking and flirting with Mary and Sally. What I'm suggesting is the existence of person C that the dude's cheating on. So, tell me about the standards of cheating and ladies' double standard💁🏻♀️
@@jiaxinlee9726 OMG the audacity
But omg this kinda make me alittle better for ghosting someone 1st it kinda safety reasons *ps there were many red flags that my friends warn me abt which is why my final decision was to ghost and not met up ._. but like what Leah and Chloe said I think if there is a friendship involved and like u actually know that person than it is go to explain to save the friendship but in my case it was a person that I absolutely have no idea who knowing only things from his profile and that's it not even his insta 😂 so looking back I think it is really okay that I ghost but all that I did have some closure to him saying that I might have come off the wrong way to him and I don't feel like we clicked so I hope all is well !!! Hhehe thank you all for sharing the stories it was so cute and relatable omgg ( to the person I ghosted if u are reading this. I am sorry >
Leah looks exceptionally pretty in dis episode😍
Btw, how old is Chloe? She reacted like a little gal: making faces, screamed, playing with her hair, pulling her clothes n touching herself constantly when others talk N so much hand gesture, screaming n OTT when she ownself talk N almost took off her jacket towards d end... Omg LoL😱😨😂🤣
it’s just personality tbh it’s okay companies need a variety of personalities to thrive
IN DEFENCE OF GHOSTING: I stand in defence of ghosting for all stages prior to officially dating like everyth hinges on whether u guys have made clear any level of commitment or not. Agree that if you’re officially dating, ghosting is irresponsible. Just make it clear if she or he fked up and that ure upset n wna fk off.
But ghosting before dating is rly nothing much. Tbh when things r one sided, most of the time the girl is in a lose-lose situation assuming she is the one being chased. if guy likes girl, but girl doesn’t like guy, when guy tries to chase girl there r 2 ways things can pan out: girl is friendly n replies back nicely, trying to be friends, joking etc. If next time girl stops, or things dont work out, guy will say girl led him on. Ppl will say eeee this girl just playing u, such a flirt etc etc. On the other hand, if girl texts guy minimally, shittily, devoid of any possible chance of ppl saying she led him on, she becomes the bitch. Not saying it can’t happen to guys but just seen it more often with girls for multiple reasons that r probably obv.
Texting is made more difficult when we hold others who have no obligations to us to certain expectations. Don’t take ghosting beyond what it is, don’t attach too much significance to it. Take the hint that hey the texting just isn’t working out and people have actual lives to go about. leave all these be and move on, be happy!!
Omg agreed!!
Should a girl text a guy again after he has pulled away?
No
i ghost myself
jialat dont ghost me leh my english also rabak
Ghosting is sooooooo wrong.
I have only one problem with this show and her name is Chloe. She is probably the most infantile and confused person on the panel. Not only did she ghost someone but, in turn, she felt hurt being ghosted. I love how she starts off stating why she was going to ghost someone in the first instance (and not telling the person why; apparently he was boring) and then going on about her experience as a 19-year-old where the ghoster didn't give her a reason for it. A walking contradiction. Please do better Zula, I expected more.
chloe is amazing tbh she is kinda cute 🥰
domic has a nice style of fashion!
lol and I thought I was the only one who would ghost guys who can't even speak passable English
k thanks bye :0
i'd ghost the person that makes an out of focus video.
Did that girl say Bob? *İNDİANS WOULD LİKE TO KNOW YOUR LOCATİON*
Cringy hahahahahaah
If u never see that dude in tsl before u can like this
Screamed and talked in loud tone which unnecessarily, boring Chloe.
i don't even understand what she was talking about tbh. her story was the one which sounded boring. sorry, chloe.
my friend farisah and yanting ghost me everyday for no fucking reason like 2 Sally sia
oi since when sia i sad
@@farisahamir9108 go check ur tele,insta,discord,tinder,OKC,messages,whatsapp... all unread messages sia never reply me from anywhere
@@farisahamir9108 i get a fucking reply from email in 10 business days only
@@godsr3667 walao like that ahhhh ishhh. i never ghosted u sia sad sia. ur the one who ghosted yanting right ?
@@godsr3667 oioi what business