Four marines, an Imperial First, a Dark Angel, a Black Templar and a Blood raven walk into a bar. The Angel is horrified, as upon entry, he realized that out of 4 total people in the bar, 36 are fallen. The Templar proceeds to sit his armored posterior on a wooden chair, which brokes under his immense weight. Enraged, he roars the Litany of Fury and declares a Crusade of Redemption on the bartender. Meanwhile, the Fist has managed to dig out a trench through the concrete floor and is currently fortifying the bar against impending chaos invasion. The Raven, along with everything shiny and valuable, including the weaponry of his battle-brothers and a small metallic figure of Gabriel Angelos slam-dunking in Tartatus Armour while doing a triple-frontflip, has vanished in a puff of smoke. There also was an Ultramarine, but who gives a shit about them.
Wood Elf: You men and your clumsy black powder weapons are insufferable enough. To see one of your kind fumbling with a longbow is an outright insu- Markus: (does some insane feat of accuracy) Wood Elf: (double-take)
JoeRingo118 (golden light radiates from across the galaxy as the emperor upon his mighty golden throne senses the heresy being committed so far from his imperium.without warning,his skeletal form rockets into the sky and regenerates as he travels at reality shattering speed toward the warhammer world)
(The emperor pounds through the roof of karl franz's palace and begins to purge all that stand in his way,the fabulous custodes pouring in mighty legions from warp gates all over the planet)
(The resulting contact with terra from a reconquered warhammer world leads the emperor to declare a new great crusade,thus reuniting the rest of the Galaxy and sending mankind rocketing in vast colony ships toward andromeda.the resulting book of rampant faith in the emperor drains the chaos gods of their power,allowing the emperor to let out a mighty psychic burst that causes slaanesh to explosively climax whilst all at once freeing the myriad eldar souls she's devoured over the eons,free of the threat of slaanesh the eldar flee the galaxy and rebuild their empire far from the imperium.khorne calms,and becomes the god of peace and tranquility,while nurgals cold clears and he becomes the Christian god of old terra.the hive mind bursts into flame and dies,destroying all hive fleets in the galaxy.tzeench laughs as his ultimate plan comes to fruition,and the human race finally gains its universal empire,ruled by the immortal emperor until the stars begin to go out and the universe ends...the emperors soul ascends and merges with that of the other chaos gods.becoming a single mighty deity with a single grand goal,arms aloft,the god that was the emperor bellows "LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!")40k end times ladies and gentlemen
meh, you have the dwarven engineer and he already feels weak as hell. At leas normal hero units get to blow away several "normal" guys with one swing, the engineer seems to be doing bugger all with his tiny gun. Feels about as effective in actual combat as a mage, minus the ability to lob giant fireballs at an enemies face.
I actually think it's a bad idea, to gift a famous marksman with a bow that aims itself. Seems like a bit of a "fuck you" and defeats the point of him being a marksman. Better give him armor-piercing high explosive MIRV arrows.
ah burn it black or cover it heavy with spices they won't know the difference, hell turn in into sausage(with some other meat) or put it in a stew(heavily spiced with various herbs)
I'm not sure if this blast forest is a forest with lots of bad luck or is a piece of Catachan in some way. I mean it reminds me a lot of it. At least there things that try to kill you and not the planet itself.
Or how about this: When the event that shall not be named happened the forest grew sentient and said "Fuck this shit, I will make my own planet with all kinds of adorable nastiness" and travelled through space and time into the 40k universe. Somehow grew bigger on the way and became the planet formerly known as Drakenwald.
viewing stuf Who knows? All that IS known to this scholar is that any kind of heretical or demonic presence is but a pitiful attempt to get rid of the chaos gods greatest opponent. Well that or it is a sacrifical offering with the attached message of "Please don't murder us."
As much as a tenement block made out of the hollowed-out bodyparts of a giant would smell, I am certain it would be manageable. People live in Manchester too, afterall.
I'm worried about this dlc! Not because I'm worried it's bad, in fact I think it looks great. Just worried about the butfucking I'll take as the empire between the vamps, chaos, green skins and now these guys 😅😱
...this is hands down some of Arch's finest work to date. The man came to kick monster *** and chew bubblegum, so thanks but no thanks on the house, but I'll take a stick of gum for the ride back to ***ville if ya got it, otherwise those horses start to look a bit beastmeny.
So build a wall around the forest :D What, the auric bastion ideea worked for Gelt before he took up necromancy. And I just realized Balthasar Gelt is the Trump of Warhammer fantasy. I am strangely ok with this. I also like to imagine that Markus's theme song that plays whenever he pick up the bow to go hunting is "You give love a bad name" bon jovi. Specificaly the opening.
My Little Wulfheart, Friendship is Genocide. Quote of the show: "Genocide is always better with friends." Intro picture: Wulfheart in the middle of a bunch of his hunters (each with their own weapon, banner and design), holding the head of a beastman with a smile.
Hey Arch, did you see the 'lore of wild' shown on the facebook page of total war? What do you think of the last magic? Isn't a Cygor popping out of nowhere funny? In tabletop used to come from the edge of the table, here is summoned like a zombie
I am trying to build a free company for a different game which has rules which give guidelines and let you make your own heroes and stuff. You can have massive armies or small groups of questing questers. ANYWAY, I built a knightly group of knights, but I am looking for models to make a mercenary free company out of. I know warhammer fantasy used to have a free company, but I haven't been able to track a box down since they don;t make shit anymore.
Arch due you think in future CA will make Markus as a lord character or at least his merry band of monster murdering men be a regiment of renown? keep up the great work Arch look forward to more lore videos
One thing i would love to see is khorne deciding, that fantasy will Not satisfy grimgor and just porting him in 40k. because awsome bring in the Fan-fic
Besides your videos, I have very little familiarity with the Warhammer lore (and it seems like I've picked an awful time to get interested. Age of Sigmar, and all that). But I was curious as to what would be preventing Markus from being corrupted by the chaos within the forest? As you said at the start of the video, even just the wind blowing in the wrong direction could be enough to spell disaster for a regular human.
Omg yes we have been blessed by another fantasy lore piece! Praise the mighty arch! (even tho as a full flesh beastmen at hearth I truly hate Markus Wulfhart)
Yes....Mr Johnson, having our entrails eaten while we scream and shit ourselves to death is quite a silly way to die. Come let us travel to Sylvania maybe we will be fed upon by a unbelivibly hot Vampriss.
+Matthew Zylinski Yes they did. Its called...god emperour have mercy on my soul...(gulp(voice drops to a whisper))...Age of Sigmar. It must be destroyed...Alert the Inqusition.
Yo Arch there's a new mod for Medieval 2 called ''call of warhammer beginning of the end times'' it's kinda like CoW but three times bigger and a lot of factions not seen in Cow, any plans on reviewing it?
Think of everyone unpleasant monster in Warhammer Fantasy. Everything you've just thought of is probably hiding in that damned forest. Not a nice place to be unless if you're this guy.
Crippling the giant would have been enough; the forest would have taken care of the rest. Everything after that was just entertainment and/or stress relief. If the Drakwald is a Death World of Warhammer Fantasy, then Markus Wulfheart is the Sly Marbo of Warhammer Fantasy.
Four marines, an Imperial First, a Dark Angel, a Black Templar and a Blood raven walk into a bar.
The Angel is horrified, as upon entry, he realized that out of 4 total people in the bar, 36 are fallen.
The Templar proceeds to sit his armored posterior on a wooden chair, which brokes under his immense weight. Enraged, he roars the Litany of Fury and declares a Crusade of Redemption on the bartender.
Meanwhile, the Fist has managed to dig out a trench through the concrete floor and is currently fortifying the bar against impending chaos invasion.
The Raven, along with everything shiny and valuable, including the weaponry of his battle-brothers and a small metallic figure of Gabriel Angelos slam-dunking in Tartatus Armour while doing a triple-frontflip, has vanished in a puff of smoke.
There also was an Ultramarine, but who gives a shit about them.
Blood Ravens stole everything.
Ultra-salt is true within this one :)
Oh GLORIOUS EMPEROR, thine joke-telling skills are undoubtly the best Terra and the Galaxy have ever witnessed
+Yuri PRIME One who proceeds to refer to his holy imperial majesty as this one should expect a inquisitorial knock on his/her door shortly.
The Mother Fucking Emperor Good on you, meme boy ;)
Somebody needs to do Markus cosplay at a furry convention.
YES! Everyone would look at you weird, but then there wwould be that one furry that got it and ran screaming out the door
i would enjoy that
3 seconds later *spongebob storyteller*
Just burst into the place with a bunch of other guys dressed as Imperial Huntsmen yelling "THE ABOMINATIONS ARE HERE, MEN! SHOW NO MERCY!"
THIS IS FURESY!
*TOTAL WAR WARHAMMER II: The Beast and The Hunter*
BROUGHT ME HERE!!!
And the scariest of them things in the forest, the eastern prositutes, ruthless in their actions
They'll strip the money from your wallet in less than 90 seconds.
Listening to lore while @ work. Breaks out laughing like an idiot..
*****
Not a bad way to spend money?
VonGrav Glad we could provide a laugh :) Unless your talking about arch which would make sense if you are void my last statement.
Lewis Bush It was aimed at that comment made by Arch ;D
"I'm not locked in here with you... You're locked in here with me" -Markus Wulfheart
The fact that the best hunter of monsters is a human and not an Wood or Dark elf is something of amusing, don't you think? XD
And awesome, surely. but still funny XD
not at all
Wood Elf: You men and your clumsy black powder weapons are insufferable enough. To see one of your kind fumbling with a longbow is an outright insu-
Markus: (does some insane feat of accuracy)
Wood Elf: (double-take)
@@KrimzonFlygon1 Markus: "Fuck you and fuck your misgivings, elf."
Holy shit, if Lord General Castor and him met together, they would be filling their trophy cabinets by now.
they would need their own planet for them all....
You think when Archeon came trough the Drakwald he gave Wulfhearts cabin a large girth so that he wouldn't losen like 50% of his monsters?
JoeRingo118 (golden light radiates from across the galaxy as the emperor upon his mighty golden throne senses the heresy being committed so far from his imperium.without warning,his skeletal form rockets into the sky and regenerates as he travels at reality shattering speed toward the warhammer world)
(The emperor pounds through the roof of karl franz's palace and begins to purge all that stand in his way,the fabulous custodes pouring in mighty legions from warp gates all over the planet)
(The resulting contact with terra from a reconquered warhammer world leads the emperor to declare a new great crusade,thus reuniting the rest of the Galaxy and sending mankind rocketing in vast colony ships toward andromeda.the resulting book of rampant faith in the emperor drains the chaos gods of their power,allowing the emperor to let out a mighty psychic burst that causes slaanesh to explosively climax whilst all at once freeing the myriad eldar souls she's devoured over the eons,free of the threat of slaanesh the eldar flee the galaxy and rebuild their empire far from the imperium.khorne calms,and becomes the god of peace and tranquility,while nurgals cold clears and he becomes the Christian god of old terra.the hive mind bursts into flame and dies,destroying all hive fleets in the galaxy.tzeench laughs as his ultimate plan comes to fruition,and the human race finally gains its universal empire,ruled by the immortal emperor until the stars begin to go out and the universe ends...the emperors soul ascends and merges with that of the other chaos gods.becoming a single mighty deity with a single grand goal,arms aloft,the god that was the emperor bellows "LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!")40k end times ladies and gentlemen
JoeRingo118 emperors mercy....these truly are the end times....
JoeRingo118 and those belonged to Matt Ward...
If they added this guy in the Call of the Beastmen DLC it would be a great opponent to fight as the beastmen :)
I'm pretty sure they are. Some hint in the letter that hinted of the Beastmen
+Edward Libby He might be the free lord content that CA said he would release
meh, you have the dwarven engineer and he already feels weak as hell. At leas normal hero units get to blow away several "normal" guys with one swing, the engineer seems to be doing bugger all with his tiny gun. Feels about as effective in actual combat as a mage, minus the ability to lob giant fireballs at an enemies face.
That guy should have a book series. Sounds OP and badass as faq.
So he had imperial guard automatic targeting systems in a world of magic and swords... THIS IS WHY WARHAMMER IS AWESOME!!!
Well, a Heartseaker Enchantment is very popular in the Fantasy Realms.
I actually think it's a bad idea, to gift a famous marksman with a bow that aims itself. Seems like a bit of a "fuck you" and defeats the point of him being a marksman. Better give him armor-piercing high explosive MIRV arrows.
The Drankwald is inhabited by miniatures :P
Legendary Lord item for Markus: 500+ growth for all provinces because of food surplus from all the dead beastmen he kills
Eh, the peasants won't be too fond of beastmen meat tastes I reckon
ah burn it black or cover it heavy with spices they won't know the difference, hell turn in into sausage(with some other meat) or put it in a stew(heavily spiced with various herbs)
Commissar_Dan this is fantasy not 40k las weaponry is too far beyond the current tech level
THIS WAS HILARIOUS
Thanks for uploading this
gave me a much needed good laugh
well if he dies he's already in the happy hunting grounds
This has to be the funniest lore video since the Forest Goblin video with the anime bit. :D
who is here after the recent teaser thats obviously markus
We great minds thought alike and seeked education from Archu-Sensei
You were the first 😀👍
Im from the future, we have him announced, finally!
I'm not sure if this blast forest is a forest with lots of bad luck or is a piece of Catachan in some way. I mean it reminds me a lot of it. At least there things that try to kill you and not the planet itself.
Or how about this:
When the event that shall not be named happened the forest grew sentient and said "Fuck this shit, I will make my own planet with all kinds of adorable nastiness" and travelled through space and time into the 40k universe. Somehow grew bigger on the way and became the planet formerly known as Drakenwald.
Is this a joke or did it actually happen?
viewing stuf
Who knows? All that IS known to this scholar is that any kind of heretical or demonic presence is but a pitiful attempt to get rid of the chaos gods greatest opponent.
Well that or it is a sacrifical offering with the attached message of "Please don't murder us."
As much as a tenement block made out of the hollowed-out bodyparts of a giant would smell, I am certain it would be manageable. People live in Manchester too, afterall.
Oh Arch, this is my new favorite lore video, "free fire zone" my sides...I'm sorry *ahem* Good show, sir.
Lorehammer lore = Bad guys kill, rape, and enslave everyone. Good guy kills bad guys gets and then gets depicted as the villain.
too edgy for me
This was probably one of your best. I honestly didn't know about this story, and you made it hilarious.
Okay the attack helicopter line got me. Good one Arch
I'm liking the new style of lore videos
I wish I’d found this earlier, this video was brilliant! :D
I just love how pshycotic your mind can go it really fit the universe I think :p
I'm worried about this dlc! Not because I'm worried it's bad, in fact I think it looks great. Just worried about the butfucking I'll take as the empire between the vamps, chaos, green skins and now these guys 😅😱
+petargrad No....PURGE THEM WITH FIRE!!!!
no EXTERMINATUS
+merijn baggerman I like your thinking
...this is hands down some of Arch's finest work to date.
The man came to kick monster *** and chew bubblegum, so thanks but no thanks on the house, but I'll take a stick of gum for the ride back to ***ville if ya got it, otherwise those horses start to look a bit beastmeny.
I dritten Love listening to your lord videos arch keep it up
finally one of these videos come out
I love how you explain situations!
"Eastern European prostitutes" I lost my shit lol
that attack helicopter joke though))
Wait, his immortal? "to this very day hunts?"
Markus Wulheart sounds like a very nice guy
Arch's rage at the murder of skaven is pretty clear here.
Greatest attack on titan character xD
So this is where Geralt learned his craft...
love these lore videos
He had only time on his hand ... and gore
Man i just love you :))
So build a wall around the forest :D What, the auric bastion ideea worked for Gelt before he took up necromancy.
And I just realized Balthasar Gelt is the Trump of Warhammer fantasy. I am strangely ok with this.
I also like to imagine that Markus's theme song that plays whenever he pick up the bow to go hunting is "You give love a bad name" bon jovi. Specificaly the opening.
We will build a wall around the forest and make the beastmen pay for it
petargrad MEGA
we will build that wall with the skulls of beast men and those elves, and we will make chaos pay for it
I can imagine his trophy could rival Governor General Castor's
A final boss for the beastmen if I ever heard one.
Wow, I have never seen this video.
My Little Wulfheart, Friendship is Genocide.
Quote of the show: "Genocide is always better with friends."
Intro picture: Wulfheart in the middle of a bunch of his hunters (each with their own weapon, banner and design), holding the head of a beastman with a smile.
+Commissar_Dan he could be in terminator armour riding a land raider
Hahaha true dat
Soooo... the dude became BATMAN to the mutants of the forest.
Hey Arch, did you see the 'lore of wild' shown on the facebook page of total war? What do you think of the last magic? Isn't a Cygor popping out of nowhere funny? In tabletop used to come from the edge of the table, here is summoned like a zombie
Hey when you get the chance, can you do a quick lore video on the Norse Dwarfs of Kraka Drak?
I am trying to build a free company for a different game which has rules which give guidelines and let you make your own heroes and stuff. You can have massive armies or small groups of questing questers. ANYWAY, I built a knightly group of knights, but I am looking for models to make a mercenary free company out of. I know warhammer fantasy used to have a free company, but I haven't been able to track a box down since they don;t make shit anymore.
Arch, multi-clip series re: specifics of skaven emmigrating from skavensblight. Please!
Whenever I see the finecast logo my triggering intensifies.
Arch due you think in future CA will make Markus as a lord character or at least his merry band of monster murdering men be a regiment of renown? keep up the great work Arch look forward to more lore videos
SHOTS FIRED SHOTS FIRED
One thing i would love to see is khorne deciding, that fantasy will Not satisfy grimgor and just porting him in 40k. because awsome
bring in the Fan-fic
arch could you do a lore series on the different space marine chapters
Could you do the alpha legion and the 2 primarcs they have for the next lore video??
Besides your videos, I have very little familiarity with the Warhammer lore (and it seems like I've picked an awful time to get interested. Age of Sigmar, and all that). But I was curious as to what would be preventing Markus from being corrupted by the chaos within the forest? As you said at the start of the video, even just the wind blowing in the wrong direction could be enough to spell disaster for a regular human.
Well Markus is insane. You dont know how much chaos is the reason for it.
I would love a video about Richter Kreugar
If this guy was on 40k there would be no Tyranid threat by now
this man is epic
Omg yes we have been blessed by another fantasy lore piece! Praise the mighty arch! (even tho as a full flesh beastmen at hearth I truly hate Markus Wulfhart)
Oh, my fave Empire Hero!!!
Will there be a video about Albion? I think that would be interesting.
I don't think there's much lore to go on
ARCHY WARCHY!
Imagine a game like Skyrim set in the Drakwald forest! Shit that would be great!
1. Generate charackter
2. Get raped by Beastmen
3.????
4.Profit :D
open world rpg in warhammer world yea that would be amazing
I want this guy in total war.
Can you do a lore video on the new beastmen legendary Lords?
So Markus is basically a Sniper against monsters and he would be hard to kill when he gets a Mount
Say goodbye to your Giants now
that and give him a Griffin
has anyone considered getting some fire mages and burning allot of the forest
I know this might be painful for you but could you do a brief lore video about the End Times?
uuuuhm whit beastmen comming out for TWwh will this guy be included in anny patch soon ?? would be awesom add to the empire :P
Lets not go to Drakenberg...it is a silly place.
Yes....Mr Johnson, having our entrails eaten while we scream and shit ourselves to death is quite a silly way to die. Come let us travel to Sylvania maybe we will be fed upon by a unbelivibly hot Vampriss.
Those hot female vampires can drain my fluids any time...
Lead the way good sir!
Is it possible to do a video about the kurgan
MARKUS VVULFHAAART
Hunt and consume the beastmen.
Hey arch, what napoleon memoir did you recommend in one of your videos written by a swede
Holy oath and genocide sounds great
could you tell me in which playlist this is?
What was the part at the end with attack helicopters supposed to be about?
i miss music in video
Einsatzgruppen...
Steps to watching this video:
1) pause it
2) set video speed to 1.25
3) you're welcome
I wish you end warhammer lore videos with annnnnnnd it's gone, thanks Age of shitmar
Age of Shitmars -HERESY!!!
+IMPERIALITY of Serbia Sigmar is a f*cking HERETIC and his sigmarines are HERETICS! HERESY! HERESY EVERYWHERE!
IM GONNA NEED TWO FLAMERS FOR THIS...
Did someone say heresy?
+Matthew Zylinski Yes they did. Its called...god emperour have mercy on my soul...(gulp(voice drops to a whisper))...Age of Sigmar. It must be destroyed...Alert the Inqusition.
+Matthew Zylinski Wait...you said it first...KILL THE HERETIC!
Can you do a vid on khazrak?
Cool
#AttackHelicoptersLifesMatter
did you read the warhammer/star wars novel
a vid i missed?
we want 40k
Hannibal Lecter for beastman?
Yo Arch there's a new mod for Medieval 2 called ''call of warhammer beginning of the end times'' it's kinda like CoW but three times bigger and a lot of factions not seen in Cow, any plans on reviewing it?
So he's the aim hack hunter?
Sooooo"................how did he DIE on the end time/fUCK the end time
So have you bought this dlc yet?
there are giants, miniatures and manticores in the forest?
Think of everyone unpleasant monster in Warhammer Fantasy. Everything you've just thought of is probably hiding in that damned forest. Not a nice place to be unless if you're this guy.
Aidan MacKenzie
I was pointing out the fact he said 'miniatures' instead of 'minotaurs'
would he be a Agent or Legendary Lord in Total War Warhammer?
Legendary Agent perhapse?
Most likely a Workshop item in the future! xD
Crippling the giant would have been enough; the forest would have taken care of the rest. Everything after that was just entertainment and/or stress relief.
If the Drakwald is a Death World of Warhammer Fantasy, then Markus Wulfheart is the Sly Marbo of Warhammer Fantasy.
Mass murderer not murdered
whats a nighthood?