Never peed in a bottle while driving... yet. Never jerked while driving yet either... yet. Bucket list. I did go on a hike recently and out of nowhere all by myself in the woods decided to give it a good yank... it was tranquil yet kinda exciting knowing that anyone from anywhere could be watching through the trees
Once, after having lunch with Henry Jaglom, I was overcome with what was to be the worst case of the green apple splatters. Knowing that the deluge was imminent, I strolled into a women's apparel store off of Rodeo Drive, and claimed I was considering the location for a new film. They gladly showed me around, and I claimed I needed to truly explore the space, to which they obliged. As soon as no one was looking, I immediately fled to the employee facilities (of which there was only a female lavatory), and released the most destructive movement ever unleashed upon porcelain. It sounded like 100 tubas partially filled with porridge all being blown simultaneously. Fate had been a fickle mistress to me throughout my career, but that day she smiled upon me, as a street crew was making use of a jackhammer, so with Herculean effort, I attempted to time my pushes with the pounding of the construction. But then came the smell! It was both appalling yet intriguing in the sense that, while so horrifically awful it made you want to vomit and pass out, was an odd mixture scents, like battery acid, fried chicken, textiles and an oil refinery with just a hint of pine. Unsurprisingly, the sheer magnitude of this intestinal flood was far too much for this simple toilet to receive. So, being reminded of a story told to me by Ernest Hemingway when he had allowed a young Colonel Batista to use the bathroom in his home, I fervently covered this bubbling portal to the abyss with toilet paper, and made a hasty exit. And in keeping with my own personal philosophy on life, I never looked back again.
I'm a minute in and I already love it. When Jim starts a story and he stops because he gets embarrassed, you know it's gonna be a good one. Coincidentally, today I ate out with my girlfriend and on the ride home I felt so incredibly sick. The food was great, but oh man, something wasn't right. It would come in waves and got worse and worse. My girlfriend said we should stop at a gas station, but I didn't want to shit in those dirty toilets. Also, it felt like I was gonna puke. For 45 minutes I held it in and when I finally got home I let loose. What a relief, but it was everywhere. Under the seat, on the seat, even the backside of the top cover. Ridiculous.
Why didn't they get Travis to be 2nd mic instead of Sam? Sam is SUCH a bore when he talks for more than one sentence at a time (he was good for sarcastic quips during jocktober and that was it). Travis doesn't talk a lot but he's amusing when he does. Maybe he'd crash like Sam if he talked more, but at least his voice isn't as irritating scratchy like Sam's. When Sam has to talk a long time, he comes off like John from John & Jeff, just endlessly rephrasing obvious stuff that was just said. 7:39 is EXACTLY like any given John & Jeff clip.
I like how Sam tries to brush off the Opie and Anthony past by saying “the radio show” and jim jumps in and doesnt let him get away with that weasely bullshit.
you can tell Jim has had this convo with god many times, "its not like I pushed a guy with cancer outta the way, come on god, im not a bad guy". I bet hes worried every little pain, or hemerohoid.
Sam thoroughly enjoys hearing people reveal deep personal moments from their lives but he has rarely if ever shared any of his own. I don't trust someone who can't make fun of themselves. I guess that's the character of people who don't know their real father
Speaking of the greatness of total floor to ceiling stall privacy, why the FUCK doesn't every men's bathroom have urinal dividers that go past eye level so you can't see your neighbors? Every time they have dividers, it always stops at chest level. How much more could it possibly fucking cost to extend them by 2 feet? Nobody wants a pee buddy neighbor when they step up to a urinal. A special "fuck you" to the asshole who has his choice of urinals, but decides he needs to be your neighbor and chooses the one next to you. I call them the "Mr. Rogers".
The glee that this brings out of everyone in the studio is infectious.
They looked at Jim and believed him when he said that he had cancer 😂
God I wish Anthony was there for this
we got hit by Tony the Duece!
Jim "I don't Remember" Norton
Pissing in a jug while driving is amazing.
pissing in a bottle while gaming is amazing...right?
way of the road bud.
Never peed in a bottle while driving... yet. Never jerked while driving yet either... yet. Bucket list.
I did go on a hike recently and out of nowhere all by myself in the woods decided to give it a good yank... it was tranquil yet kinda exciting knowing that anyone from anywhere could be watching through the trees
I was in a traffic jam and tried to piss is a water bottle and I sprayed piss all over the car and myself.
I love hearing Travis laughing in the background 🤣
6:38 "I'm weird when I SHIT!"
He sounds like hes about to burst into tears
Once, after having lunch with Henry Jaglom, I was overcome with what was to be the worst case of the green apple splatters. Knowing that the deluge was imminent, I strolled into a women's apparel store off of Rodeo Drive, and claimed I was considering the location for a new film. They gladly showed me around, and I claimed I needed to truly explore the space, to which they obliged. As soon as no one was looking, I immediately fled to the employee facilities (of which there was only a female lavatory), and released the most destructive movement ever unleashed upon porcelain. It sounded like 100 tubas partially filled with porridge all being blown simultaneously. Fate had been a fickle mistress to me throughout my career, but that day she smiled upon me, as a street crew was making use of a jackhammer, so with Herculean effort, I attempted to time my pushes with the pounding of the construction. But then came the smell! It was both appalling yet intriguing in the sense that, while so horrifically awful it made you want to vomit and pass out, was an odd mixture scents, like battery acid, fried chicken, textiles and an oil refinery with just a hint of pine. Unsurprisingly, the sheer magnitude of this intestinal flood was far too much for this simple toilet to receive. So, being reminded of a story told to me by Ernest Hemingway when he had allowed a young Colonel Batista to use the bathroom in his home, I fervently covered this bubbling portal to the abyss with toilet paper, and made a hasty exit. And in keeping with my own personal philosophy on life, I never looked back again.
Mother of God was that detailed.
Poetry....
[crickets]
I'm a minute in and I already love it. When Jim starts a story and he stops because he gets embarrassed, you know it's gonna be a good one.
Coincidentally, today I ate out with my girlfriend and on the ride home I felt so incredibly sick. The food was great, but oh man, something wasn't right. It would come in waves and got worse and worse. My girlfriend said we should stop at a gas station, but I didn't want to shit in those dirty toilets. Also, it felt like I was gonna puke. For 45 minutes I held it in and when I finally got home I let loose. What a relief, but it was everywhere. Under the seat, on the seat, even the backside of the top cover. Ridiculous.
Norm MacDonald would be proud
Did she clean it up or did you?
Beautiful PUBG reference 🤣🤣🤣
9:07 LOL
18:44🤣🤣🤣🤣
Jim Norton had a decade long shit and it was named Opie
I can’t wait for Jimmy’s molestation memories to unrepress themselves
Why didn't they get Travis to be 2nd mic instead of Sam? Sam is SUCH a bore when he talks for more than one sentence at a time (he was good for sarcastic quips during jocktober and that was it). Travis doesn't talk a lot but he's amusing when he does. Maybe he'd crash like Sam if he talked more, but at least his voice isn't as irritating scratchy like Sam's.
When Sam has to talk a long time, he comes off like John from John & Jeff, just endlessly rephrasing obvious stuff that was just said. 7:39 is EXACTLY like any given John & Jeff clip.
He's a good straight man, but not a great lead mic.
I hate these the more I watch them. I think Sam is becoming Opie Jr. Also Sams constant condescending tone towards Jimmy is insufferable
💯
I like how Sam tries to brush off the Opie and Anthony past by saying “the radio show” and jim jumps in and doesnt let him get away with that weasely bullshit.
you can tell Jim has had this convo with god many times, "its not like I pushed a guy with cancer outta the way, come on god, im not a bad guy". I bet hes worried every little pain, or hemerohoid.
*God
Sam thoroughly enjoys hearing people reveal deep personal moments from their lives but he has rarely if ever shared any of his own. I don't trust someone who can't make fun of themselves. I guess that's the character of people who don't know their real father
Joon your mnt
AJ Poopieshitz
Give those a listen
@@Donoftheded Also 'the worlds greatest treats' and 'tupperware'
They should just describe doing their show
Speaking of the greatness of total floor to ceiling stall privacy, why the FUCK doesn't every men's bathroom have urinal dividers that go past eye level so you can't see your neighbors? Every time they have dividers, it always stops at chest level. How much more could it possibly fucking cost to extend them by 2 feet?
Nobody wants a pee buddy neighbor when they step up to a urinal. A special "fuck you" to the asshole who has his choice of urinals, but decides he needs to be your neighbor and chooses the one next to you. I call them the "Mr. Rogers".
Well this didn't age well, M'Lady.
I love to crap
To be fair, Jim looks like he has cancer.
p00p
🎉🎉 💩🧻💩🧻💩🧻💩🧻💩🧻💩🧻💩🧻 🎉🎉
Intelligent, smart, well said statement...
Cool dog though...labs rule
The words “shit” and “nipples” should never be in the same sentence