Before I reach out and tell you my story, I want you to think about Janet Jackson. She had the funds and the doctors to make magic happen, but her daughter is the light of her life. The truth is, my baby, Josh, is adopted. In my heart and soul, I knew I would have a son, but I didn't get pregnant. When I prayed, I felt the spirit telling me I would have a son. I even would hear a voice saying, “Mom, I am here. Just be patient.” I figured I was just so desperate to have a child that I was making things up. I wanted a family with every fiber in my being. As women, I believe that there is a part of us that yearns spiritually and naturally. It’s part of our hearts. I married Dan when I was 28 and never did anything to prevent pregnancy. Still there was no pregnancy. Dan had a daughter from a previous marriage, so I never thought it could be him. It had to be me and my medical issues. Sure enough, after all the medical tests on both of us (some humiliating), the doctors came back and said, "It's unexplainable infertility." I wasn’t even given a reason why my body didn’t work. I was mad at God. After living a good Christian life to the best of my ability and knowledge, and despite experiencing unbelievably difficult circumstances growing up, why would God keep children from me. Why would He not allow me to experience what a real family was like? It was so hard to come to the decision to try to adopt. First, we had to fill out an entire book asking us everything from “How do you feel about being infertile?” to “Can you financially provide for a child?” “How were you disciplined as a child?” How would you discipline a child?” “How tall are you?” How tall are your siblings?” “What color hair and eyes do your siblings have?” We had to go get a regular background check, an FBI background check and had to have five people, two of which had to be neighbors, fill out a questionnaire about us and send it in. I was so mad. If I could get pregnant, none of this would be necessary. And how many women get pregnant and throw their babies away. Why wouldn’t God help me? I had a hard time seeing children and families. I often couldn’t stop the tears. That said, I was 38 when Josh came. I told him all his life that he couldn’t grow in my stomach so he had to grow in my heart. I told him that women talk about being in labor, but I had them all beat (except you), because I was in labor for ten years. For whatever reason, perhaps my body’s problems, I started menopause a few years later. I was heartbroken. I had heard so many stories about people adopting and then getting pregnant. I wanted a sibling for Josh so bad. But it wasn’t to be. Josh was my sunshine boy-my miracle, and I cherished every moment. Another miracle happened. Josh’s voice dropped into his young man voice. He had a pretty deep voice, really. He loved to sing, but I digress. One day he came home from school and came up behind me while I was in the garden. I was his touchstone. He always had to find me when he got home from school. “Mom, you won’t believe…” I stood there awestruck for a moment before I turned to face him. I recognized his voice. That was the voice that said to me years before when I prayed for a child, “Mom, Mom, I am coming so stop.” Josh was an entertainer, a singer, a class clown. The tone of voice I heard all those years ago had the same kidding voice he had. I couldn’t believe it, but there he was in my ear. He was my miracle, and I got the most beautiful family in the universe (except for yours) for 16 years and found out what loving was. I am still struggling with God about why his best friend was allowed to do what he did to cause his death, but that’s another long story. There was a part of me that always knew, but that’s another story too. I am shouldering that burden now and will miss him forever. With more prayers and with Jesus Christ’s grace, I hope with every fiber of my being that I will see him when I leave this earth. Until then, I have wonderful memories that don’t fill the empty place in my heart entirely, but I wouldn’t give up one moment. I know you treasure every moment with Madison. Still, I can understand how you feel right now, though your situation is different than mine. I have had friends who have had children but have felt there was someone missing. They have gone on to have another child. Only God can answer you. But there is Janet Jackson. And there are surrogates. I just want you to know that I understand, and you are not alone. It’s an unquenchable heartache, I know. And it’s not just hormones, but your heart too. I believe that just as you have been in the right place at the right time throughout your life, you are in the right place at the right time now-no matter what happens. Miracles happen every day. Madison is a miracle after all you went through. There may be another miracle waiting. That is something you and Brian (or Rachel and Byron) have to decide together. My prayers are with you both. Thank you both for all you give. Warm regards, Elizabeth
I began Peri-menopause the moment I got off of birth control which was about 46. Immediately began to gain weight over the span of 3 years to 60 pounds heavier. Hormones were out of control and I did have the urge for another child even when I was going through so much physically. Had I known there was such a thing as hormone replacement early on, I would have done that. Now at nearly 52 ,I am still going through hot flashes, mood swings , inflammation, and what have you. Kids are the best though and at 45 I was sure thinking about giving it one more go. I know you'll do what is best for your family.
My peri-menopause started around 47-48. It’s not technically menopause until after your period is gone for 1 year. My hot flashes sucked, which was the worst part for me, and I gained 20 lbs without even trying! Your hormones will be all over the place. I’m 56 now and and haven’t had hot flashes for a few years now. I supplement vitamin D3 every day as well as some adrenal support supplements.
@@AprilButcher I see a functional medical doctor and I think the brand I take is Gaia. One in the morning and one at night. If your not already taking D3 + K2 that will help with so many thing. I’m currently working on certification for integrative mental health (CIMHP) to implement nutrition, supplements etc ethically with my clients!!
Perimenopause could be or it could be stress. I never went through it and my dr was waiting for me to because I had fibroids and I finally had surgery in my 50’s and now no more cycle. My mom didn’t really go through it either
Sis, I hear you. I'm 46 and my husband sometimes poke me for a girl. Mind you, I have 2 boys. In a way, I would love to have it but Life is soooo hard right now. I also want to live my life. I don’t want this baby responsibilities again. Like going back to square one. My youngest one is still 8. I find it won't be fair for the kid after. I had old parent and I was never hapwith the fact. It's was a generational gap that we could never get over. So, for that reason it's a NO for me. But I will definitely spoil riten my grandkids one day 😂
Before I reach out and tell you my story, I want you to think about Janet Jackson. She had the funds and the doctors to make magic happen, but her daughter is the light of her life.
The truth is, my baby, Josh, is adopted. In my heart and soul, I knew I would have a son, but I didn't get pregnant. When I prayed, I felt the spirit telling me I would have a son. I even would hear a voice saying, “Mom, I am here. Just be patient.” I figured I was just so desperate to have a child that I was making things up. I wanted a family with every fiber in my being. As women, I believe that there is a part of us that yearns spiritually and naturally. It’s part of our hearts.
I married Dan when I was 28 and never did anything to prevent pregnancy. Still there was no pregnancy. Dan had a daughter from a previous marriage, so I never thought it could be him. It had to be me and my medical issues. Sure enough, after all the medical tests on both of us (some humiliating), the doctors came back and said, "It's unexplainable infertility." I wasn’t even given a reason why my body didn’t work. I was mad at God. After living a good Christian life to the best of my ability and knowledge, and despite experiencing unbelievably difficult circumstances growing up, why would God keep children from me. Why would He not allow me to experience what a real family was like?
It was so hard to come to the decision to try to adopt. First, we had to fill out an entire book asking us everything from “How do you feel about being infertile?” to “Can you financially provide for a child?” “How were you disciplined as a child?” How would you discipline a child?” “How tall are you?” How tall are your siblings?” “What color hair and eyes do your siblings have?”
We had to go get a regular background check, an FBI background check and had to have five people, two of which had to be neighbors, fill out a questionnaire about us and send it in. I was so mad. If I could get pregnant, none of this would be necessary. And how many women get pregnant and throw their babies away. Why wouldn’t God help me? I had a hard time seeing children and families. I often couldn’t stop the tears.
That said, I was 38 when Josh came. I told him all his life that he couldn’t grow in my stomach so he had to grow in my heart. I told him that women talk about being in labor, but I had them all beat (except you), because I was in labor for ten years.
For whatever reason, perhaps my body’s problems, I started menopause a few years later. I was heartbroken. I had heard so many stories about people adopting and then getting pregnant. I wanted a sibling for Josh so bad. But it wasn’t to be. Josh was my sunshine boy-my miracle, and I cherished every moment.
Another miracle happened. Josh’s voice dropped into his young man voice. He had a pretty deep voice, really. He loved to sing, but I digress. One day he came home from school and came up behind me while I was in the garden. I was his touchstone. He always had to find me when he got home from school. “Mom, you won’t believe…” I stood there awestruck for a moment before I turned to face him. I recognized his voice. That was the voice that said to me years before when I prayed for a child, “Mom, Mom, I am coming so stop.” Josh was an entertainer, a singer, a class clown. The tone of voice I heard all those years ago had the same kidding voice he had. I couldn’t believe it, but there he was in my ear. He was my miracle, and I got the most beautiful family in the universe (except for yours) for 16 years and found out what loving was. I am still struggling with God about why his best friend was allowed to do what he did to cause his death, but that’s another long story. There was a part of me that always knew, but that’s another story too. I am shouldering that burden now and will miss him forever. With more prayers and with Jesus Christ’s grace, I hope with every fiber of my being that I will see him when I leave this earth. Until then, I have wonderful memories that don’t fill the empty place in my heart entirely, but I wouldn’t give up one moment.
I know you treasure every moment with Madison. Still, I can understand how you feel right now, though your situation is different than mine. I have had friends who have had children but have felt there was someone missing. They have gone on to have another child. Only God can answer you. But there is Janet Jackson. And there are surrogates. I just want you to know that I understand, and you are not alone. It’s an unquenchable heartache, I know. And it’s not just hormones, but your heart too.
I believe that just as you have been in the right place at the right time throughout your life, you are in the right place at the right time now-no matter what happens. Miracles happen every day. Madison is a miracle after all you went through. There may be another miracle waiting. That is something you and Brian (or Rachel and Byron) have to decide together. My prayers are with you both. Thank you both for all you give. Warm regards, Elizabeth
I began Peri-menopause the moment I got off of birth control which was about 46. Immediately began to gain weight over the span of 3 years to 60 pounds heavier. Hormones were out of control and I did have the urge for another child even when I was going through so much physically. Had I known there was such a thing as hormone replacement early on, I would have done that. Now at nearly 52 ,I am still going through hot flashes, mood swings , inflammation, and what have you. Kids are the best though and at 45 I was sure thinking about giving it one more go. I know you'll do what is best for your family.
Thank for sharing your journey my love!!!!
My peri-menopause started around 47-48. It’s not technically menopause until after your period is gone for 1 year. My hot flashes sucked, which was the worst part for me, and I gained 20 lbs without even trying! Your hormones will be all over the place. I’m 56 now and and haven’t had hot flashes for a few years now. I supplement vitamin D3 every day as well as some adrenal support supplements.
Thank you Carol! Love you for this! I saw Dr Berg offers Adrenal Support Supplements
@@AprilButcher I see a functional medical doctor and I think the brand I take is Gaia. One in the morning and one at night.
If your not already taking D3 + K2 that will help with so many thing.
I’m currently working on certification for integrative mental health (CIMHP) to implement nutrition, supplements etc ethically with my clients!!
Perimenopause could be or it could be stress. I never went through it and my dr was waiting for me to because I had fibroids and I finally had surgery in my 50’s and now no more cycle. My mom didn’t really go through it either
Thank you mommie! Cause I am all types of confused! Lol
@@AprilButcher don’t be it’s normal to feel that way
Sis, I hear you. I'm 46 and my husband sometimes poke me for a girl. Mind you, I have 2 boys. In a way, I would love to have it but Life is soooo hard right now. I also want to live my life. I don’t want this baby responsibilities again. Like going back to square one. My youngest one is still 8. I find it won't be fair for the kid after. I had old parent and I was never hapwith the fact. It's was a generational gap that we could never get over. So, for that reason it's a NO for me. But I will definitely spoil riten my grandkids one day 😂
Amen to that! That’s why I feel if I am a surrogate to a friend, I can have the experience without the responsibility
@Internet Streets that's interesting approach. I never thought of that.
If your husband says no I say listen.
True!
You should have a baby. It will never be the right time. Just do it