The body anaslyst man said men have feminine and masculine side.and women have feminine and masculine side. as magnet has two oposite poles. He said men´s feminine side (sensibility to have conversation with coworkers, with clients) helps him to maintan more his masculinity, success, leadership. So his feminity as short-term tool, helps him to be masculine man. Women´s masculine side (setting boundaries with friends) helps her to maintain her feminity. It seems if she is only feminine and soft, she isnt able to set boundaries, and it decreases her feminity. Her masculinity as a short term tool, helps her to be more feminine. if he isnt able to maintain some femoinine softeness and listen to people and talk to them in normal fashion, it may not help him to maintan his masculinity. If she had only her feminity , and she wouldnt have little bit of masculinity, sge wouldnt understrand the men´s personality.
@@dessevan686of course its not.. Nothing is, when the chances of failure are over half, there are no good reasons to do it, also as he said, what is the problem you are trying to fix with marriage? It worked fine just with the title of a girlfriend, why doss it now have to change to a wife? Is it cope that the upgrade to a wife will fix it or will it really fix it, statistically it fixes some money transfers from you to your lawyer, state and ex wife, but not much else, how badly do you want to lose money, sanity and friends in 3-7 years?
If a person wants to change they will. I had a woman (whom was also named samantha ironically enough) who said to me i inspired her to be a better person, but when i held her accountable and held her to a higher standard than what she had mormally been held at which all i asked of her was open and honest communication, no secrets, respect with sincerity, and authenticity in her character. That was too much for her. She claimed i held her on a pedistal. She exppected me to make all these changes to myslelf and of course i struggled with some as any human would, but i managed to change thsoe things for the better sobreity being one of them. Communication being another. It became very clear she didnt want to change herself and she began seeing somebody else tried hiding it. Her behavior was obvious that she was doing something wrong, because of the way she began treating me over night. It went from compassion and care to as if i was but a cancer in her life and when i tried to communicate with her that i noticed somethingwas wrong, and i wantsd to address it and eork togetherto fix it she always saw me as argumentative with her. I always made sure to emphasize "sam i just want to undestand you, your perspective and this situation better." The more aggresive she became with me over something in which we previously were able to do with no issues the more i came to see she was hiding something that and she started withholding information from me so i "wouldn't get nervous" when previously i never had an inclination to be such until she started to display behaviors of someone whos being unfaithful. She knew she could have just talked with me and said "hey this isnt working i don't think that we can fix this" i would have understood that. We agreed at the very beginning we would ALWAYS communicate our feelinga and thoughts on anything the other person does we did not like. We agreed to have NO secrets. I never in my life had met anyone who i was as honest as i was with her. I couldnt lie to her ecen if i wanted to. That experience taught me a lot about myself. It matured me in a way in which i neededamd also opened my eyes to the things i need to work on as an individual. It opened my eyes to the fact that its going to be difficultfor me to find a partner that will want to grow with me and will be willing to be held accountable. Sucks it had to end the way it did. I don't hate her or hold any resentment towards her. Im just disappointed in her. Im disappointed that she would talk how horribly she was treated then proceed to treat the very person who she said "gave her confidence in herself again" like he was a cancer in her life. @samanthaarmstrong6946
I ran from my first girlfriend as soon as I heard her say - "We can always get married - if it does not work out we can divorce!" Marriage and divorce in the one same sentence really alarmed me.
My family is very contemptuous so for me it's not news. I just learned how to get what I need regardless. I do this at work too. Unfortunately, I have found that it's just part of adulting.
Happily married for 20 years, but James is so mesmerizing i never miss an interview. Odd how I've learned more about marriage from a divorce attorney than any counselor.
Love is trust. Knowing that no matter what this your person will be family and not betray you for their own self interest. Unfortunately the only way to get that is for both parties to prove that every single day. Familiarity breeds contempt unfortunately, and add in bad communication you have what you have today.
No marriage or relationship is flawless; they're all different. What works for one person might not work for another. But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through.
I genuinely want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is solid. I really want her back, and I'm committed to making it work. We've tried different things, like therapy, to mend things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.
Such a refreshing conversation. My first marriage was a disaster because of pressures put on me by my family. After escaping abuse I decided I wasn't doing that again. That gave me freedom. I've since remarried for great reasons to a great man but the freedom of not being pressured helped me know that the time was right to do it.
@@volkoff6357 I did, I learned that it is okay to get married if you marry the right person. I learned that it is not right to marry the wrong man and then refuse to marry the right man. I learned not to get involved with abusive people. I learned loads.
"Either you write your pre-nup, or the government writes it". There's no shame in having a pre-nup. It doesn't mean you are expecting yo fail. It's a sign of honesty and opening up to the person you love and trust more than anyone. If both sides of the marraige aren't okay with discussing this (possible) part of your future, should you really be getting married? When you are happy and in love, and believe in each other, this won't be an insulting or hurtful thing.
When finances are 180, it makes perfect sense to prenup Recall the Anna Nicole fiasco..she hurt his family terribly. Gold diggers are despicable and equally so..men with money who run after pu--y If u roll in the mud, you WILL get dirty. Keep scruples character ethics and morals always and you attract quality..never give in to the $$$$. Womxn who don't receive solid education use their wits to try and get by and that becomes scary..desperadas.
1:47:22 I used to do this with one of my exes. I knew our relationship wouldn't last, so I always told myself to appreciate the time we have and live in the moment. I still do it to this day. Fun fact, she called me recently and told me she regretted leaving me and I was her best boyfriend. But, I was seeing someone and we haven't spoke since.
It was very brave of her to do that. There's someone I wish I could tell that to, but I'm afraid I may have hurt him by breaking up with him to give my ex, who I was hopelessly in love with, another chance. This other guy understood and accepted my decision with class, and I wouldn't want to hurt him. I don't know if I did before; we hadn't been seeing each other long and weren't very involved, although I think we both weren't seeing anyone else. I wish I had another chance with this guy, with the clear heart I have now, but I couldn't "insult" him- I wouldn't mean to, but he could take it that way.
@starsapphirelee5714 lol women are such cowards. It's hilarious. I reconnected with an ex that cheated on me and she said she was glad I did. We were both at a restaurant and we made eye contact so I went to her table and reintroduced myself to her again. We met up later and reconnected again and hooked up and then days later I found out she was already in a relationship and cheating on him with me to get back with me. I was pissed off she is still just playing games with people's hearts so I blocked her. I don't believe women are capable of change.
@@starsapphirelee5714 You already chose another person over him. He will always be the 2nd pick, even if you dont think so he will. You made your choice you now need to live with it. Also you wnet back to your Ex. There would be no trust that you would not do the same after already rejecting him once.
If you re-visit the past, you go for the pleasant experience of certain time lapse, but time pass on and never returns . Reject the past times to come back to you...
@@OzzmanComith Sad but true. I think this lady is looking for decent and down to earth now that she’s older, but she needs to look elsewhere. 😢And yet I do wish she could reach out to him to see what he’s up to.😅
@@JeremySayers38weird comment. you don’t know her. maybe she raised kids (nephews for example) and did a lot of good to produce resources for other people (which is highly likely since she had to support herself for almost 100 years). you don’t know her situation, don’t be rude for the sake of it.
Driving has potential impacts on others without their willing compliance. It’s beyond just an expression of your autonomy. Marriage is an agreement between two people. It’s private, it’s a human rights violation to use coercive force to prevent this decision even if you think it’s a bad decision. Why do so many people believe in authoritative dictate when it’s a position or life style decision the personally believe in. Freedom demands you let people make choices you believe are mistakes.
In my romantic relationships, I’ve always remained adamant that I require my partner and I go to premarital counseling before cohabitating (And Before engagement). Learning how to effectively confront and navigate conflict in a healthy way (with patience, love, & understanding) is fundamental to happy enduring relationships. I’ve had a few partners request that I move in with them and I’ve always said no. I think it is So important to build the Strongest foundation possible Before commingling assets, future life trajectories, finances, children, etc.
I love listening to him. He's so real and pragmatic. He doesn't sugar coat or bullshit anyone. So many things he says are eye openers and lightbulb lighters. Several "A-ha" moments! Love it! I hug my children every time I see them exactly the way he described...mindfully.
This is my first time hearing James Sexton speak. Outstanding well balanced conversation from a high profile divorce lawyer's point of view. I'm listening to his insight and perspective through my earlier 25 year old ears. And now through my 50 year old ears. Huge difference.
James Sexton is one of my very favorite person to listen to. He understands love and relationships so well. It makes me cry remembering having pure love, but it gives me hope. I hope that once, something will last, because it was real and we worked at saving it.
And then they are then punished for a psychological response for being pushed past any human's mental limit. Just stay away from the ladies these days men, it's not worth the stress that comes with the territory... especially in this digital age
@@FrankGreening-Morash We are often irrational beings. We have the Limbic System, commonly called the Lizard Brain. We all have it and when it kicks in, we have Zero control once the hormones get released. All humans are a mixture of rational and irrational. We are animals of nature. That's not a justification, just an overly simple explanation of the human condition.
@@FrankGreening-MorashYou should be accountable for yourself and not give such advices. It is clearly motivated by fear and lack of perspective over your own decisions ( you're blaming " ladies " and excuse yourself for your abrupt emotionnal responses ). We don't know what choices you've made but clearly, it sounds like inexperience and fear. I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm pushing against that cynical mantra that has the clothes of courage or toughness but none of its substance and objectively, you should advice people to be afraid too, they may just be better than you at it as they get experience. It is what it is. I'm gonna advise you to give yourself a chance and not to see things in black or white, for your own sake.
Our society has become so superficial , the fact that this person is saying you need to be rich , beautiful, or very talented proves that. Then we wonder why divorce rates are high. Real love is unconditional. Be you.
He’s not saying you “need” to be any of those things. What he’s saying is relationships are more economical than we give them credit for. People bring different attributes to a relationship and that’s ok. Some call money and looks superficial, some call them stability and beauty. We all value different things, we’re all different, that’s ok. Love being “unconditional” is a mirage. Love takes hard work and understanding, and I assure you, it’s very very conditional
“Love is an economy.” You’re right. Love is very beautiful indeed, but when hunger strikes it jumps out of the window… Most women won’t marry a man who cannot support themselves and her. It just doesn’t click, no matter how handsome he is. Apart for other characteristics like good manners, kindness, generosity and knowing how to lend an ear.
Great video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
i have been in such a situation. i love my woman and unfortunately we separated about two years ago, but i could not let her go, so i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back, now we are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Jesus Christ you bots just don't know when to quit do you? To anyone reading this conversation, these two are scripted entities pushing a scam, pay this drivel no mind.
Recently divorced and met some acquaintances who told me they we’re getting married and I didn’t ask why I just said congratulations, but I had a bad stomach feeling.
James Sexton should be a stand up comedian when he needs a hobby or a vacation! He will be able to send his message on marriage and breakups legally - and get a laugh out from the audience!
It depends how they stack it, and how much food is left on the dishes. But I usually am grateful. What is the most annoying to me is cumbs/food on the table or all over the floor, or putting cloth napkins on top of leftover food. I am always so grateful when people try to do things that might help their server though, even if they don't stack the plates the way I like, just knowing that the customers try to do stuff like that makes me think very highly of them.
@@acaudill06 I used to bus in a Mexican Restaurant when I was a kid, and you’d be amazed what nasty people would leave behind , like the table was a trash can.
Y'all, is it pretty typical for customers to blow their noses in the cloth napkins?? 😭 I saw this recently while out to dinner one evening and I was horrified.
@@saltandpepperandmint That's not true for everyone. And just because someone doesn't have a romantic partner doesn't mean they're alone. They could be richly blessed with family and friends and treated with respect. Something they may lack with a romantic partner. I have been lonely single and married and I tell you this, feeling lonely in a marriage is one of the most devastating feelings you'll ever experience.
@@saltycat662 I disagree. My point stands because it is nature you cannot fight this if you’re in your right mind. Everyone has their own lives you can have a family and friends but having a partner is different. And yes you can feel lonely in a marriage but that is not in a contradiction of my statement. Just because your relationships were failures doesn’t change anything about the fact that that’s how we were made.
Being with someone who makes you miserable and is narcissistic. Doesn't make sense, but we ofter stay for the kids or duty. Alone is better than fake love.
"Tradition is peer pressure exerted by dead people" - I use this in my daily life all the time. It's so frustrating when people are locked into doing things the way they are because that's "the way it's done". But why? If evidence-based testing reveals something better, what's the value in sticking with the deprecated method?
More like its the democracy of the dead based on literally untold *millenia* of PRACTICAL experience going even beyond our capacity to speak as a species. Oh my god the children of married parents perform better in every single metric than single parent ones. Polyamorous relationships are actually extremely unstable compared to monogamous ones on top of that. Weird. Oh my god, the most gender role traditional societies on earth actual have replacement level and beyond birthrates i.e. aren't literally doomed to societal collapse if nothing drastic is done. Who’d have thought!? Obviously some of it is total bunk and the natural consequence of living in an era before the scientific method and rigorous psychological and sociological study but guess what? It allowed us to not just survive but thrive on a hostile planet. You entirely discard tradition at your peril.
You have the wrong definition of Tradition; tradition exists to provide psychological safety to people based on things that, for most part, worked well for generations for the purposes they were created
Tradition is also the solution to problems that we have forgotten existed because the tradition solved the problem. Guess what happens when you remove the solution to the forgotten problem that's right it returns. Dismissing traditions as outdated is just as stupid as blindly following them. Quite often the tradition exists for a damn good reason.
James is on a different stratosphere to most humans and always a complete pleasure and education to listen to. If only more people were as wise kind funny and normal as him! The human race truly is disintegrating and the interviewer is a good example of that
So many great points!!! Its refreshing to hear men talk like this. Not many people understand my relationship. Even my family who all have been divorced, cant believe that me and my partner are in a happy, full filling relationship. Even after 18yrs being together, 12yrs living together, are content and in a loving relationship, because we never got married. We are the couple that happened to fall in love young, and weren't ready for marriage, and as we got older didn't see the point in it, bc we have a relationship that is just based on mutually being good to eachother. To put it into context we go through everything that married people go through, good and bad, and learned over time how to respect each other, and respect ourselves, and we have stayed together bc we work at our relationship instead of just giving up, or intentionally hurting the other person, and keeping score. I personally dont think our love is any less than a married couples love. We raised a child together, supported eachother through the ups and downs in life, grew into who we are now together, have a beautiful home in the suburbs, he runs a successful buisness, and i rasied our son and take care of the home, we are a very traditional couple in all ways other than not being married. When i got sick he took care of me and held us down. We dont threaten to leave eachother over disagreements, we communicate though our issues. We just dont see the point in involving the government in our relationship. We are traditional and both are god fearing Christians, and if we were to marry for religious reasons, I think we would marry through the church, without the legal marriage to the government. Also to something else you were saying, when we moved in with eachother, I left my apartment to move into a home he had bought to flip, but we ended up moving in to that home. Before I moved in, we had a lease of sorts written up, and we had it notarized. It gave me a sence of security, that he couldn't just put me out on the street; bc I contributed to the value of our home, and it was a way for him to acknowledge that it was our home, married or not. Too many people have just made a mockery of marriage, and care more about having a wedding than a real partnership that will stand up to all the pressures of life and societal influence. People want to pick and choose as to which vows they honor, and which they decide to ignore. With 56% of people getting divorced, its fair to say they never respected the covenant of marriage in the first place. And like you said in the beginning, they are who they are in the beginning of the relationship as they are when getting divorced for the most part, and with those stats marriage just doesn't mean what it used to. Married or not, I still strive to have a relationship like my grandparents. Who were very traditional, and their love was obvious because of the way they treated eachother, and the love they had for eachother, till the day they both died, and were reunited in heaven. Anything less, and you simply just dont have any buisness corrupting the covenant of marriage any more than it has already been. Its meaning has been diminished in a matter of decades, going on to more than over half a century of the mockery of marriage. Its a shame for those who still want to participate in the traditional sence of marriage, but feel like it has just been corrected too much, for too long.
Conflict brings out the real person..esp those ppl who are awful and good at pretending . Pay attention to how your partner treats you during a major conflict. Better then any counseling session.
My grandma used to tell me when I was a kid to be like Jesus, she now asks me when will I get married and I told her Jesus never got married or had children.
As far as we know. He would have been a weirdo back in their culture not to have married. A certain wedding…his? Mary Magdalene…always with him, saw him first after he arose (as his spouse that would have been her right) etc. Just food for thought.
Ran into an average looking 85 year old man with a smoking hot 48 year old woman. When she got up to go to the bathroom I asked him how did you get such a beautiful girl at your age? His reply..."there ain't no romance without finance."
No one is exempt....that's why love, peace, faith, and righteousness is a pursuit. Takes effort. Hope. The foundation is that we're all less than perfect. So why do we expect that. It's okay to go in that direction but we need to be ready to forgive and forget. Again, easy to say and hard at times to do.
It's a disaster for men. The scale of justice is not balanced and only a prenuptial if done right, can balance the scale, so the wife is not REWARDED to destroy
Happily married man here! I read Sexton’s book “If you are in my office, it’s already too late” years before meeting my wife. It was a gem in the marrying decision. So was the book by Ty Tashiro
As a clinical psychologist and forensic court evaluator, I see the biggest problems for couples being if they were parentified as children. This is a condition where parents make children, responsible as adults even as they are children. The result is when you get to be an adult you become impossibly responsible for everyone and everything and have a very, very difficult if not impossible time taking attic with care of yourself and an equal relationship, this disastrous marriages were people way too long in an unequal relationship where they’re taking advantage of, but don’t understand that’s what’s happening. This is the source of so many problems. It doesn’t take a horrible partner for this to occur. You can have a reasonably OK but not great partner and it will still go badly and sometimes it’s not that partner fault it’s that you didn’t require equal responsibility of them, they would have gone ahead and been a better partner, but the worst situations are when you are having that childhood and they have the opposite childhood where they now have decided to become the most important person that is a disaster and it’s very hard to see if you came up and that way where you were so overly responsible
Mine is criticism and contempt. His is defensiveness and stonewalling. Both helped each other feel worse. Both were right and wrong. I would fight for our relationship and he would just push things under the table refusing every solution and not bringing his own at all. I truly don’t know anymore how to trust anyone now. How can you make a relationship work who doesn’t acknowledge problem let alone think of solution.
I think every time I’ve seen a prenup in the media (ex: movie, news, reality tv, etc) there’s always a judgement of “one of them asked for a prenup, they must not be sure about the other person, they must be worried.. I don’t really see a prenup represented in a positive light often. It’s never “well I have a house and he’s got a business and we want to protect what means something to us FOR each other. We love each other and we are doing this out of respect for each other’s needs” 🤷🏻♀️ it is always drama. It’s just how it’s cultivated for the average person. Then people grow up watching this material and it creates bad associations with the concept. Ex: “if I ask for a prenup, it will hurt the other persons feelings and tell people I don’t love my future spouse”
Married couples in general have better sex, better health and more wealth. They tend to live longer. Marriage is the best arrangement for creating a family. However, a good marriage requires both partners to be unselfish, and having similar values is a must.
50% of first marriages end in divorce. 2nd and 3rd marriages fail at even higher rates. Of the couples that stay together, many do so for the kids, or because it's too expensive to get divorced. So how many married couples are actually happy and satisfied? Not many. The problem with marriage is that compromise leaves one or both partners unhappy. Also, one spouse can make a "yes" or "no" decision that affects both people and the other spouse has no recourse (lack of intimacy for example) - why would someone want another person to have that kind of power over them? Marriage is done. People can talk all they want, but the numbers and social trends don't lie.
BS. Whenever I had a normal long term relationship, attraction and sex decreased with time.. but casual fun, daaamn best I ever had , multiple times over. I think the novelty makes the sex awesome. But having it with the same person for years makes it boring - the fun is lost
I got married at 21 yrs old didn't understood the concept of marriage at all but went in head first anyway, and after 3 children and many years later I filled for divorce. Am in my 50's now and know exactly what I want and how to conduct MYSELF and work through marriage. I still love the sanctuary of a MARRIAGE and will definitely love to settle down again despite what I went through with the first marriage. For now until MR RIGHT comes along am going to enjoy my life.
@@x3dmediaI doubt she is holding her breath. I’m sure her children are adolescent to young adult. Men with kids is a bigger red flag b/c they usually don’t take care of them. Women aren’t used goods when older and mothers. Get over yourself😂
And who the hell are YOU to regurgitate your own insecurity onto me.? Why don't you advice any female member of your family to settle down with a man /woman down on their luck. Since your wish is for anyone of them to be a wet nurse and an emotional blanket .....don't bring your insecurity my way please
Focus on giving each other peace of mind and heart. Peace is not boredom and love must calming if not not love. By realizing no longer face life alone makes relationship more meaningful. Eventually outer look is fleeting and we don't bring our possession of fortune and wealthy to our grave. Create good memories once die liberating wisdom.
We don't but we shouldn't live on Pamper's Lane because one spouse wants possions they didn't work for. They should make their intentions known from the beginning.
The best way to learn how to build safe cars is by studying car accidents. You should listen to this guy AND listen to the Gottmans (happily married relationship experts.) I talk to my wife about divorce sometimes. We aren't threatened by perspectives like this guy has, knowledge is power!
James, I have very much enjoyed listening to your interviews on various channels and with different hosts, as you bring a new perspective to each discussion, making each talk interesting in its own right.
Not if you are getting stalked, harassed by men and having your career ruined by women. I guess some women know how to use it to their advantage, but definitely not all do.
@@jayjaydubfulonly if sex is priority. I mean I'm a guy. Sex is easy to get for pretty women (any woman really) But getting a guy who actually cares about them? Tough. Yes there's actual good guys she's over looking. But that's also because majority of the attractive guys out there act like they are one of the 'good guys' too. Lot more to weed through. Not to mention all the other jealous women trying to sabotage your every step, relationship wise, social or career wise. So yes it can be a boon, but also a curse. Think it's easier being a super attractive guy than a super attractive woman. But probably easier as an avg woman than an avg man.
@Stormcloakvictory being good looking gives loads of benefits for both sexes, that outweigh any costs. These benefits go beyond sex - it benefits socially, professionally.
Gracias por compartir esa información. Me apena mucho que los administradores de UA-cam estén pidiendo cada vez más a estos canales que son importantisimos en donde aprendemos tanto.
I’ve seen you on 2 other interviews…Danica Patrick & Soft White Underbelly…glad you get it..I’m a 70 yr old woman whose friends still believe in legal marriage & can’t understand why I’m not & have been married twice before & Wd be open to a partnership w/o the legal entanglements
Hi there, just came across your message, i don’t want to be nosy, or rude but trying to help inform myself to when i get to be your age! just wondered if U R financially independent on your own merit, or have your parents/ or ex-spouses helped you financially to come to such a GoldieHawn decision in your Golden girl age😉
Educational for all! He is one of the Kind❤ Great professional! Honesty, dedication, consistency, tolerance, understanding differences between people without judging is a healthy way to go! ❤
I am working on Sound Frequency Therapy for the past few years. I have a theory of why these societal ills manifest and why it is in general decline. Basically the chakra energy centres are the supply but the deficit in people's output. When we experience abuse, trauma, or negative experiences it's like dust collecting in a vacuum filter. Eventually it needs cleaning. How do we clean it? We hum, talk, sing, laugh. Or we go to church and let the tone of the Organ assist in removing these negative energies. Men and women have differing chakras which are functioning low and changing over time. It's the reason for everything! The Rainbow Staircase of sound frequencies. In the beginning God spoke first
Also watch Rabbi Friedman. He talks so much about how love isn’t the answer. Dedication and picking something who wants to be with you and not just your things or part of yoiu, and vice versa.
What he hasn't touched on are the marriages that ended in divorce because one partner was just an a .. hole and wasn't worthy of being in a marriage. Unstable people with mental health issues shouldn't be proposing to anyone and women who are grounded shouldn't settle for them. There are those kind of divorces where the partner is just so toxic they are poisonous people to have in the home.
James! Great cupcake analogy! I’ve been looking for a good analogy to teach my sons this. I spent nearly 10 years as a professional DJ and ran into the bleak existence of continuous one night stands and the dangers it represents to your psyche and overall wellbeing. Perfect analogy, thank you 🙏
I was confused when I didn't find anything related to the quote by just searching "Risus Sardonicus" initially. To save some people a couple seconds it's a book "Risus Sardonicus by Warren Martin Hern" and the poem is entitled complicity
I think the divorce rate is high due to some part in the fact that people encourage such young people to marry when they are not even fully developed and are not mature enough to recognize their own faults and be willing to work together to prevent divorce. Being married doesn’t mean I get what I want 100% of the time and done have to compromise. If you can’t understand it’s not all about getting what you want and can’t learn to be a giving person then you should not get married or not yet until you can recognize these things. I think there should be a law restricting marriage before 25-30.. I don’t agree with 18-22 year olds getting married, ever.
I actually remember the 4-way stop thing because our teacher always emphasized it's up to you to do it right, you can't blame another driver for not doing it right, that's how you get in a wreck. So of course I constantly notice how bad people are at that. If you get to a four-way and there's actually four cars there, pretty much a guarantee one of them will mess it up.
I think the most valuable advice he gives in his interviews is, if you are not able to cover the basics of communication and accountability, and/or neither is your partner, it makes no sense to dive deeper into it with the illusion that it'll fix it. That's mariage, kids, etc It's basically detachment. Not the stupid pill community coldness I have to say, that one is straight up fear and avoidance. It's very common sense but not easy, for desire and such are very good at blinding one's eyes and it is difficult to argue against yourself.
Most of the people who dont want to commit to someone theyve been with past 6 months to a year decide not to because they have issues with intimacy and/or they want to explore options. Sexual impulsivity is a real problem.
"Love is blind, but marriage is a real eyeopener."
Ain’t that the truth
For real😑
The body anaslyst man said men have feminine and masculine side.and women have feminine and masculine side.
as magnet has two oposite poles.
He said men´s feminine side (sensibility to have conversation with coworkers, with clients)
helps him to maintan more his masculinity, success, leadership.
So his feminity as short-term tool, helps him to be masculine man.
Women´s masculine side (setting boundaries with friends) helps her to maintain her feminity.
It seems if she is only feminine and soft, she isnt able to set boundaries, and it decreases her feminity.
Her masculinity as a short term tool, helps her to be more feminine.
if he isnt able to maintain some femoinine softeness and listen to people and talk to them in normal fashion,
it may not help him to maintan his masculinity.
If she had only her feminity , and she wouldnt have little bit of masculinity,
sge wouldnt understrand the men´s personality.
If someone gets it, help me to understand. Is religion good reason to get married? Or not?
@@dessevan686of course its not.. Nothing is, when the chances of failure are over half, there are no good reasons to do it, also as he said, what is the problem you are trying to fix with marriage? It worked fine just with the title of a girlfriend, why doss it now have to change to a wife? Is it cope that the upgrade to a wife will fix it or will it really fix it, statistically it fixes some money transfers from you to your lawyer, state and ex wife, but not much else, how badly do you want to lose money, sanity and friends in 3-7 years?
My uncle said one time. Men marry thinking woman will never change. Women marry thinking they will change.
Nailed it
Then women change and men don't
If a person wants to change they will. I had a woman (whom was also named samantha ironically enough) who said to me i inspired her to be a better person, but when i held her accountable and held her to a higher standard than what she had mormally been held at which all i asked of her was open and honest communication, no secrets, respect with sincerity, and authenticity in her character. That was too much for her. She claimed i held her on a pedistal. She exppected me to make all these changes to myslelf and of course i struggled with some as any human would, but i managed to change thsoe things for the better sobreity being one of them. Communication being another. It became very clear she didnt want to change herself and she began seeing somebody else tried hiding it. Her behavior was obvious that she was doing something wrong, because of the way she began treating me over night. It went from compassion and care to as if i was but a cancer in her life and when i tried to communicate with her that i noticed somethingwas wrong, and i wantsd to address it and eork togetherto fix it she always saw me as argumentative with her. I always made sure to emphasize "sam i just want to undestand you, your perspective and this situation better." The more aggresive she became with me over something in which we previously were able to do with no issues the more i came to see she was hiding something that and she started withholding information from me so i "wouldn't get nervous" when previously i never had an inclination to be such until she started to display behaviors of someone whos being unfaithful. She knew she could have just talked with me and said "hey this isnt working i don't think that we can fix this" i would have understood that. We agreed at the very beginning we would ALWAYS communicate our feelinga and thoughts on anything the other person does we did not like. We agreed to have NO secrets. I never in my life had met anyone who i was as honest as i was with her. I couldnt lie to her ecen if i wanted to. That experience taught me a lot about myself. It matured me in a way in which i neededamd also opened my eyes to the things i need to work on as an individual. It opened my eyes to the fact that its going to be difficultfor me to find a partner that will want to grow with me and will be willing to be held accountable. Sucks it had to end the way it did. I don't hate her or hold any resentment towards her. Im just disappointed in her. Im disappointed that she would talk how horribly she was treated then proceed to treat the very person who she said "gave her confidence in herself again" like he was a cancer in her life. @samanthaarmstrong6946
I'll give what your uncle said a different twist: Men marry women hoping they won't change and women marry men hoping they can change them.
@@samanthaarmstrong6946the irony is women never change for the better
I ran from my first girlfriend as soon as I heard her say - "We can always get married - if it does not work out we can divorce!" Marriage and divorce in the one same sentence really alarmed me.
You have good head on your shoulders ! That’s so true it just makes sense . Your wife doesn’t say that.
contempt...it's contempt for me. if someone shows you contempt. get away. they mean to see you hurt and fail.
That's good advice for any relationship, not just marriage.
💯💯 They are secretly your enemy
🎯🎯🎯
My family is very contemptuous so for me it's not news. I just learned how to get what I need regardless. I do this at work too. Unfortunately, I have found that it's just part of adulting.
Amen!
Everytime I see James Sexton is a guest, I click on it. He never disappoints! Thank you, sir, for being a voice of reason in a crazy world!! 💛
Thanks so much! Appreciate your support! -JS
Me too. It's all there, pure gold. His analogy on the tradition of marriage: "tradition is peer pressure exerted ay dead people."
yeah I just love this guy
I’ve learned more from him than a pastor priest or therapist
Happily married for 20 years, but James is so mesmerizing i never miss an interview.
Odd how I've learned more about marriage from a divorce attorney than any counselor.
By the time people need a divorce lawyer- it’s the worst of the worst.
Love is not the peak experience, it's intimately knowing and being known by someone.
But love does continue to care inspite of knowing another. It's a choice.
That IS love.
And being appreciated for who you are
Love is trust. Knowing that no matter what this your person will be family and not betray you for their own self interest. Unfortunately the only way to get that is for both parties to prove that every single day. Familiarity breeds contempt unfortunately, and add in bad communication you have what you have today.
@@starsapphirelee5714 You are confusing comfortable and familiarity.
Im a simple man.
I see James Sexton, Im watching.
No marriage or relationship is flawless; they're all different. What works for one person might not work for another. But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through.
I genuinely want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is solid. I really want her back, and I'm committed to making it work. We've tried different things, like therapy, to mend things.
Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.
Welcome... You should.
What does any of that have to do with marriage?
Such a refreshing conversation. My first marriage was a disaster because of pressures put on me by my family. After escaping abuse I decided I wasn't doing that again. That gave me freedom. I've since remarried for great reasons to a great man but the freedom of not being pressured helped me know that the time was right to do it.
I hope you are part of the 30 percent that make it work the second time around.
@@neogbfe3587 thank you, 5 years in think we’re doing ok.
So you didn't learn anything.
@@volkoff6357 I did, I learned that it is okay to get married if you marry the right person. I learned that it is not right to marry the wrong man and then refuse to marry the right man. I learned not to get involved with abusive people. I learned loads.
I did the same thing....8 years later, and now we are getting divorced
“Love is an economy.” This guy has endless, ENDLESS, gems. It’s amazing that he gives the best advice on something that would put him out of business.
"Either you write your pre-nup, or the government writes it".
There's no shame in having a pre-nup. It doesn't mean you are expecting yo fail. It's a sign of honesty and opening up to the person you love and trust more than anyone. If both sides of the marraige aren't okay with discussing this (possible) part of your future, should you really be getting married? When you are happy and in love, and believe in each other, this won't be an insulting or hurtful thing.
I agree. It goes back to people marrying the wrong people. Even in dating, if you can’t mention the hard parts, it’s time to go.
When finances are 180, it makes perfect sense to prenup
Recall the Anna Nicole fiasco..she hurt his family terribly. Gold diggers are despicable and equally so..men with money who run after pu--y
If u roll in the mud, you WILL get dirty. Keep scruples character ethics and morals always and you attract quality..never give in to the $$$$.
Womxn who don't receive solid education use their wits to try and get by and that becomes scary..desperadas.
No sex, insulting your spouse, ignoring, contempt, cheating, lying
Yes, it can get really bad. 1 or 2 of the ones you mention are bad enough, let alone all of them.
@@hectorortiz8224 and that summarizes marriage number one.
James Sexton seems a very balanced and grounded man... a rarity... and I always learn from the interviews with him. Thank you.
1:47:22 I used to do this with one of my exes. I knew our relationship wouldn't last, so I always told myself to appreciate the time we have and live in the moment. I still do it to this day. Fun fact, she called me recently and told me she regretted leaving me and I was her best boyfriend. But, I was seeing someone and we haven't spoke since.
It was very brave of her to do that. There's someone I wish I could tell that to, but I'm afraid I may have hurt him by breaking up with him to give my ex, who I was hopelessly in love with, another chance. This other guy understood and accepted my decision with class, and I wouldn't want to hurt him. I don't know if I did before; we hadn't been seeing each other long and weren't very involved, although I think we both weren't seeing anyone else. I wish I had another chance with this guy, with the clear heart I have now, but I couldn't "insult" him- I wouldn't mean to, but he could take it that way.
@starsapphirelee5714 lol women are such cowards. It's hilarious. I reconnected with an ex that cheated on me and she said she was glad I did. We were both at a restaurant and we made eye contact so I went to her table and reintroduced myself to her again. We met up later and reconnected again and hooked up and then days later I found out she was already in a relationship and cheating on him with me to get back with me. I was pissed off she is still just playing games with people's hearts so I blocked her. I don't believe women are capable of change.
@@starsapphirelee5714 You already chose another person over him. He will always be the 2nd pick, even if you dont think so he will. You made your choice you now need to live with it. Also you wnet back to your Ex. There would be no trust that you would not do the same after already rejecting him once.
If you re-visit the past, you go for the pleasant experience of certain time lapse, but time pass on and never returns . Reject the past times to come back to you...
@@OzzmanComith Sad but true. I think this lady is looking for decent and down to earth now that she’s older, but she needs to look elsewhere. 😢And yet I do wish she could reach out to him to see what he’s up to.😅
My aunt lived to be 96 I asked her her secret of long life Her reply was I never married
Another crazy cat lady. Just using up resources with her selfish life.
@@JeremySayers38weird comment. you don’t know her. maybe she raised kids (nephews for example) and did a lot of good to produce resources for other people (which is highly likely since she had to support herself for almost 100 years). you don’t know her situation, don’t be rude for the sake of it.
@@JeremySayers38What a daft thing to say. Stop it, it’s cringe!
@@JeremySayers38 blast your insecurities louder hun
@JeremySayers38 would you say the same thing to a guy who never married?
He's got such a solid point about the driver's license. There needs to be written exams for marriage followed by an intense period of actual practice
Driving has potential impacts on others without their willing compliance. It’s beyond just an expression of your autonomy. Marriage is an agreement between two people. It’s private, it’s a human rights violation to use coercive force to prevent this decision even if you think it’s a bad decision.
Why do so many people believe in authoritative dictate when it’s a position or life style decision the personally believe in.
Freedom demands you let people make choices you believe are mistakes.
Just what we need; more government in our personal decisions 🙄
In my romantic relationships,
I’ve always remained adamant that I require my partner and I go to premarital counseling before cohabitating (And Before engagement).
Learning how to effectively confront and navigate conflict in a healthy way (with patience, love, & understanding) is fundamental to happy enduring relationships.
I’ve had a few partners request that I move in with them and I’ve always said no.
I think it is So important to build the Strongest foundation possible Before commingling assets, future life trajectories, finances, children, etc.
Did it work?
I just know that even with the best intentions people change. But it doesn't hurt to try
How many times have you done this? You sound like a frequent flyer.
@@susanlovesjava4961my thought exactly.
I love the idea of premarital counseling.
I missed the part where he says, "if they do this, run."
When they start talking. 🏃♂️
@@CurlyPewbes lmao
It's... if they mention the word.... Marriage...😳😳😳😂😂
This way he can use the same click bait again 😂
The only place you’ll get that is tik tok 🤣 and it’s probably wrong because it’s not long enough for details
My divorce was awful. My best friend’s divorce was catastrophic. The level of hell I saw that man endure was on another level.
I love listening to him. He's so real and pragmatic. He doesn't sugar coat or bullshit anyone. So many things he says are eye openers and lightbulb lighters. Several "A-ha" moments! Love it! I hug my children every time I see them exactly the way he described...mindfully.
This is my first time hearing James Sexton speak. Outstanding well balanced conversation from a high profile divorce lawyer's point of view. I'm listening to his insight and perspective through my earlier 25 year old ears. And now through my 50 year old ears. Huge difference.
'im a chainsaw, not a scalpel, you only hire me if you need a weapon'
James Sexton is one of my very favorite person to listen to. He understands love and relationships so well. It makes me cry remembering having pure love, but it gives me hope. I hope that once, something will last, because it was real and we worked at saving it.
Kind, well-meaning people often become irrational when pushed too far.
And then they are then punished for a psychological response for being pushed past any human's mental limit. Just stay away from the ladies these days men, it's not worth the stress that comes with the territory... especially in this digital age
@@FrankGreening-Morash We are often irrational beings. We have the Limbic System, commonly called the Lizard Brain.
We all have it and when it kicks in, we have Zero control once the hormones get released.
All humans are a mixture of rational and irrational. We are animals of nature.
That's not a justification, just an overly simple explanation of the human condition.
@@FrankGreening-MorashYou should be accountable for yourself and not give such advices.
It is clearly motivated by fear and lack of perspective over your own decisions ( you're blaming " ladies " and excuse yourself for your abrupt emotionnal responses ). We don't know what choices you've made but clearly, it sounds like inexperience and fear.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm pushing against that cynical mantra that has the clothes of courage or toughness but none of its substance and objectively, you should advice people to be afraid too, they may just be better than you at it as they get experience. It is what it is. I'm gonna advise you to give yourself a chance and not to see things in black or white, for your own sake.
@@H0kram- Damn. Good advice in UA-cam comments! Are you sure your an actual real human?
@@FrankGreening-Morashunfortunately this happened to me in my marriage so now I stay away from men. Happens both ways…really sad
Our society has become so superficial , the fact that this person is saying you need to be rich , beautiful, or very talented proves that. Then we wonder why divorce rates are high. Real love is unconditional. Be you.
The person has to have something to attract the other person! Beauty, richness or talent. Understanding and generosity doesn’t count as talents?
He’s not saying you “need” to be any of those things. What he’s saying is relationships are more economical than we give them credit for. People bring different attributes to a relationship and that’s ok. Some call money and looks superficial, some call them stability and beauty. We all value different things, we’re all different, that’s ok. Love being “unconditional” is a mirage. Love takes hard work and understanding, and I assure you, it’s very very conditional
Love listening to this guy. Great mix of tough as nails and yet oddly and profoundly tender.
Mr. Sexton is absolutely correct and he's also rather pleasing esthetically.
The majority just fall into lust, love is sacrifice.
Sexton is the best~ painfuly honest, and hilariously knowledgeable of marriage and human nature. Take notes.
“Love is an economy.”
You’re right. Love is very beautiful indeed, but when hunger strikes it jumps out of the window…
Most women won’t marry a man who cannot support themselves and her. It just doesn’t click, no matter how handsome
he is. Apart for other characteristics like good manners, kindness, generosity and knowing how to lend an ear.
Sorry but I disagree.
I will stick it out with the man I love even in times of hunger.
Will step up to help.
I didn't marry my husband for money. Now we work together in the business that I started.
This man is brilliant. Good common sense too!
Yes! Food service should be mandatory for everyone. It makes you a better person to learn patience and understanding.
Or it turns you into a jaded person with a very dim view of humanity 😂
Great video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
i have been in such a situation. i love my woman and unfortunately we separated about two years ago, but i could not let her go, so i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back, now we are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
wow, please how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
Her name is queen stella laveaux ,and she is great at what she does. you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Jesus Christ you bots just don't know when to quit do you?
To anyone reading this conversation, these two are scripted entities pushing a scam, pay this drivel no mind.
I could listen to him all day long. He's articulate and smart.
Recently divorced and met some acquaintances who told me they we’re getting married and I didn’t ask why I just said congratulations, but I had a bad stomach feeling.
James Sexton should be a stand up comedian when he needs a hobby or a vacation! He will be able to send his message on marriage and breakups legally - and get a laugh out from the audience!
And get paid
@@slide5039 hehehe, he is an attorney and he will make sure of that! 🤘 😂
Relationships are like Velcro. They go together so smoothly, and quietly, but come apart with the tearing of 1000 tiny threads.
Wow.
Anybody else that worked in food service stack the plates for the waiter/waitress when they go out and eat?👋
Many waiters say they hate it
@@saltandpepperandmint why ?
It depends how they stack it, and how much food is left on the dishes. But I usually am grateful. What is the most annoying to me is cumbs/food on the table or all over the floor, or putting cloth napkins on top of leftover food. I am always so grateful when people try to do things that might help their server though, even if they don't stack the plates the way I like, just knowing that the customers try to do stuff like that makes me think very highly of them.
@@acaudill06 I used to bus in a Mexican Restaurant when I was a kid, and you’d be amazed what nasty people would leave behind , like the table was a trash can.
Y'all, is it pretty typical for customers to blow their noses in the cloth napkins?? 😭 I saw this recently while out to dinner one evening and I was horrified.
Pre marital counseling is required in many States if one or both people have been married and divorced before.
Which states?
I'd rather continue being alone. After leaving a covert narcissist I can do everything for and by myself...even self-pleasure. Life is fantastic.
We can lie to ourselves but we were not made to be alone
@@saltandpepperandmint That's not true for everyone. And just because someone doesn't have a romantic partner doesn't mean they're alone. They could be richly blessed with family and friends and treated with respect. Something they may lack with a romantic partner. I have been lonely single and married and I tell you this, feeling lonely in a marriage is one of the most devastating feelings you'll ever experience.
@@saltycat662 I disagree. My point stands because it is nature you cannot fight this if you’re in your right mind. Everyone has their own lives you can have a family and friends but having a partner is different. And yes you can feel lonely in a marriage but that is not in a contradiction of my statement. Just because your relationships were failures doesn’t change anything about the fact that that’s how we were made.
Amen to that! Dating is cool I'm not sweating it, enjoying my life for me.
Being with someone who makes you miserable and is narcissistic. Doesn't make sense, but we ofter stay for the kids or duty. Alone is better than fake love.
"Tradition is peer pressure exerted by dead people" - I use this in my daily life all the time. It's so frustrating when people are locked into doing things the way they are because that's "the way it's done". But why? If evidence-based testing reveals something better, what's the value in sticking with the deprecated method?
More like its the democracy of the dead based on literally untold *millenia* of PRACTICAL experience going even beyond our capacity to speak as a species. Oh my god the children of married parents perform better in every single metric than single parent ones. Polyamorous relationships are actually extremely unstable compared to monogamous ones on top of that. Weird. Oh my god, the most gender role traditional societies on earth actual have replacement level and beyond birthrates i.e. aren't literally doomed to societal collapse if nothing drastic is done. Who’d have thought!?
Obviously some of it is total bunk and the natural consequence of living in an era before the scientific method and rigorous psychological and sociological study but guess what? It allowed us to not just survive but thrive on a hostile planet. You entirely discard tradition at your peril.
You have the wrong definition of Tradition; tradition exists to provide psychological safety to people based on things that, for most part, worked well for generations for the purposes they were created
It's the modern times that destroying relationships. You have a twisted hateful idea of tradition. Yet I bet you did some traditional stuff.
Tradition is also the solution to problems that we have forgotten existed because the tradition solved the problem. Guess what happens when you remove the solution to the forgotten problem that's right it returns. Dismissing traditions as outdated is just as stupid as blindly following them. Quite often the tradition exists for a damn good reason.
I totally agree with you. Modern problems call for modern solutions. Don't just do it because that is how it has always been done 🙏🏾
James is on a different stratosphere to most humans and always a complete pleasure and education to listen to. If only more people were as wise kind funny and normal as him! The human race truly is disintegrating and the interviewer is a good example of that
So many great points!!! Its refreshing to hear men talk like this. Not many people understand my relationship. Even my family who all have been divorced, cant believe that me and my partner are in a happy, full filling relationship. Even after 18yrs being together, 12yrs living together, are content and in a loving relationship, because we never got married. We are the couple that happened to fall in love young, and weren't ready for marriage, and as we got older didn't see the point in it, bc we have a relationship that is just based on mutually being good to eachother. To put it into context we go through everything that married people go through, good and bad, and learned over time how to respect each other, and respect ourselves, and we have stayed together bc we work at our relationship instead of just giving up, or intentionally hurting the other person, and keeping score. I personally dont think our love is any less than a married couples love. We raised a child together, supported eachother through the ups and downs in life, grew into who we are now together, have a beautiful home in the suburbs, he runs a successful buisness, and i rasied our son and take care of the home, we are a very traditional couple in all ways other than not being married. When i got sick he took care of me and held us down. We dont threaten to leave eachother over disagreements, we communicate though our issues. We just dont see the point in involving the government in our relationship. We are traditional and both are god fearing Christians, and if we were to marry for religious reasons, I think we would marry through the church, without the legal marriage to the government. Also to something else you were saying, when we moved in with eachother, I left my apartment to move into a home he had bought to flip, but we ended up moving in to that home. Before I moved in, we had a lease of sorts written up, and we had it notarized. It gave me a sence of security, that he couldn't just put me out on the street; bc I contributed to the value of our home, and it was a way for him to acknowledge that it was our home, married or not. Too many people have just made a mockery of marriage, and care more about having a wedding than a real partnership that will stand up to all the pressures of life and societal influence. People want to pick and choose as to which vows they honor, and which they decide to ignore. With 56% of people getting divorced, its fair to say they never respected the covenant of marriage in the first place. And like you said in the beginning, they are who they are in the beginning of the relationship as they are when getting divorced for the most part, and with those stats marriage just doesn't mean what it used to. Married or not, I still strive to have a relationship like my grandparents. Who were very traditional, and their love was obvious because of the way they treated eachother, and the love they had for eachother, till the day they both died, and were reunited in heaven. Anything less, and you simply just dont have any buisness corrupting the covenant of marriage any more than it has already been. Its meaning has been diminished in a matter of decades, going on to more than over half a century of the mockery of marriage. Its a shame for those who still want to participate in the traditional sence of marriage, but feel like it has just been corrected too much, for too long.
Yeah, yeah , yeah yeah they all say that. Once they loose their looks , games over😂karmaaaaaaa or payback
This is how it should be.
Conflict brings out the real person..esp those ppl who are awful and good at pretending . Pay attention to how your partner treats you during a major conflict. Better then any counseling session.
My grandma used to tell me when I was a kid to be like Jesus, she now asks me when will I get married and I told her Jesus never got married or had children.
😂😂
As far as we know. He would have been a weirdo back in their culture not to have married. A certain wedding…his? Mary Magdalene…always with him, saw him first after he arose (as his spouse that would have been her right) etc. Just food for thought.
He did mention that he has children on this show.
He was married to the church
Excellent
Ran into an average looking 85 year old man with a smoking hot 48 year old woman. When she got up to go to the bathroom I asked him how did you get such a beautiful girl at your age? His reply..."there ain't no romance without finance."
lol. he pays for it. romance is definitely not in the picture. sex and romance are not the same 85? I don't think the blue pill works that well.
Glorified you know what. Lol
As Tupac said "money brings b'tches, b'tches bring lies".
Sounds really great.superficial and narcissistic
@@pearlfeather9326 it works for them.
❤James reminds me that I need to get out with my colleagues more.❤
No one is exempt....that's why love, peace, faith, and righteousness is a pursuit. Takes effort. Hope. The foundation is that we're all less than perfect. So why do we expect that. It's okay to go in that direction but we need to be ready to forgive and forget. Again, easy to say and hard at times to do.
This guy is great.
I’m so grateful to be single, but I still believe in marriage, God willing.
It's a disaster for men. The scale of justice is not balanced and only a prenuptial if done right, can balance the scale, so the wife is not REWARDED to destroy
@@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 How much did you have to pay in your divorce?
@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 Marriage is a disaster for women, divorce is a disaster for men.
@@DionelyETC 1.7 million
@@TRUTHandLIGHT4809 ?
Happily married man here! I read Sexton’s book “If you are in my office, it’s already too late” years before meeting my wife. It was a gem in the marrying decision. So was the book by Ty Tashiro
James, the hugging thing, are you trying rip my heart out? I can't even think about my ex like that without tearing up.
As a clinical psychologist and forensic court evaluator, I see the biggest problems for couples being if they were parentified as children. This is a condition where parents make children, responsible as adults even as they are children. The result is when you get to be an adult you become impossibly responsible for everyone and everything and have a very, very difficult if not impossible time taking attic with care of yourself and an equal relationship, this disastrous marriages were people way too long in an unequal relationship where they’re taking advantage of, but don’t understand that’s what’s happening. This is the source of so many problems. It doesn’t take a horrible partner for this to occur. You can have a reasonably OK but not great partner and it will still go badly and sometimes it’s not that partner fault it’s that you didn’t require equal responsibility of them, they would have gone ahead and been a better partner, but the worst situations are when you are having that childhood and they have the opposite childhood where they now have decided to become the most important person that is a disaster and it’s very hard to see if you came up and that way where you were so overly responsible
The 4 Horsemen of divorce:
(work of Gotman)
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Mine is criticism and contempt. His is defensiveness and stonewalling. Both helped each other feel worse. Both were right and wrong. I would fight for our relationship and he would just push things under the table refusing every solution and not bringing his own at all. I truly don’t know anymore how to trust anyone now. How can you make a relationship work who doesn’t acknowledge problem let alone think of solution.
I still talk about my husband the same way I talked about him when we were dating. We have been 9 years married. Maybe I am just lucky.
Let us know something after twenty-five years. Congratulations on a decade, though.
I think every time I’ve seen a prenup in the media (ex: movie, news, reality tv, etc) there’s always a judgement of “one of them asked for a prenup, they must not be sure about the other person, they must be worried.. I don’t really see a prenup represented in a positive light often. It’s never “well I have a house and he’s got a business and we want to protect what means something to us FOR each other. We love each other and we are doing this out of respect for each other’s needs” 🤷🏻♀️ it is always drama. It’s just how it’s cultivated for the average person. Then people grow up watching this material and it creates bad associations with the concept. Ex: “if I ask for a prenup, it will hurt the other persons feelings and tell people I don’t love my future spouse”
Prenup protects both people in case things go south. Like life insurance. It also probably reduces the amount spent in court if it doesn't work out
You always have a prenup. Either you take the one the state had crafted for you or you make your own.
If the other person is hurt. They are not the one
I call it " familiarity breeds contempt" most relationships degrade into this contempt for their spouse. Never sign a state contract
We break in relationship and we heal in relationship.
Once you get married, the relationship is over.
Lol. I hope someone awesome will change your mind one day. Truly, that is so sad.
@@rizzamaeongstatistically its true
@@sleeper9638 meh. one great find is all it takes.
Married couples in general have better sex, better health and more wealth. They tend to live longer. Marriage is the best arrangement for creating a family. However, a good marriage requires both partners to be unselfish, and having similar values is a must.
50% of first marriages end in divorce. 2nd and 3rd marriages fail at even higher rates. Of the couples that stay together, many do so for the kids, or because it's too expensive to get divorced. So how many married couples are actually happy and satisfied? Not many. The problem with marriage is that compromise leaves one or both partners unhappy. Also, one spouse can make a "yes" or "no" decision that affects both people and the other spouse has no recourse (lack of intimacy for example) - why would someone want another person to have that kind of power over them? Marriage is done. People can talk all they want, but the numbers and social trends don't lie.
Needs prenuptial so wife is not rewarded to destroy it, for she will be tempted constantly so one needs to help her easily defeat that temptation
Doubt it . Have a source for data?
BS. Whenever I had a normal long term relationship, attraction and sex decreased with time.. but casual fun, daaamn best I ever had , multiple times over. I think the novelty makes the sex awesome. But having it with the same person for years makes it boring - the fun is lost
Interesting that happiness wasn't one of the things you mentioned.
EXCELLENT TOPIC with GREAT POINTS! Confirming indeed!
I got married at 21 yrs old didn't understood the concept of marriage at all but went in head first anyway, and after 3 children and many years later I filled for divorce. Am in my 50's now and know exactly what I want and how to conduct MYSELF and work through marriage. I still love the sanctuary of a MARRIAGE and will definitely love to settle down again despite what I went through with the first marriage. For now until MR RIGHT comes along am going to enjoy my life.
Not trying to be rude but don't hold your breath at 50 with 3 kids unless you're willing to marry a 75yo man down on his luck.
@@x3dmediaI doubt she is holding her breath. I’m sure her children are adolescent to young adult. Men with kids is a bigger red flag b/c they usually don’t take care of them. Women aren’t used goods when older and mothers. Get over yourself😂
And who the hell are YOU to regurgitate your own insecurity onto me.? Why don't you advice any female member of your family to settle down with a man /woman down on their luck. Since your wish is for anyone of them to be a wet nurse and an emotional blanket .....don't bring your insecurity my way please
Bless your heart now i know why
4 subscribers
2 videos
367 views
Joined Nov 16, 2006 😳
You'll be fine 😫😭
Now your 50 and alone
Focus on giving each other peace of mind and heart. Peace is not boredom and love must calming if not not love. By realizing no longer face life alone makes relationship more meaningful. Eventually outer look is fleeting and we don't bring our possession of fortune and wealthy to our grave. Create good memories once die liberating wisdom.
We don't but we shouldn't live on Pamper's Lane because one spouse wants possions they didn't work for. They should make their intentions known from the beginning.
hi james, great line, "Stop trash talking"
interesting, but never forget, this guy is a DIVORCE LAWYER
20:20 🙌 He is the chainsaw of divorce lawyers too. The Mike Tyson of divorce lawyers.
Well spoken they all the same, it close to financial theft.
True. He has seen a lot of divorces and how they happened.
How could anyone forget that
The best way to learn how to build safe cars is by studying car accidents. You should listen to this guy AND listen to the Gottmans (happily married relationship experts.) I talk to my wife about divorce sometimes. We aren't threatened by perspectives like this guy has, knowledge is power!
James, I have very much enjoyed listening to your interviews on various channels and with different hosts, as you bring a new perspective to each discussion, making each talk interesting in its own right.
Being good looking causes women ALOT of problems, jealousy, sabotage, unwanted attention.. it is not necessarily a ticket to an easy life.
The benefits far outweigh the costs
Not if you are getting stalked, harassed by men and having your career ruined by women.
I guess some women know how to use it to their advantage, but definitely not all do.
@@jayjaydubfulonly if sex is priority.
I mean I'm a guy.
Sex is easy to get for pretty women (any woman really)
But getting a guy who actually cares about them? Tough.
Yes there's actual good guys she's over looking.
But that's also because majority of the attractive guys out there act like they are one of the 'good guys' too.
Lot more to weed through.
Not to mention all the other jealous women trying to sabotage your every step, relationship wise, social or career wise.
So yes it can be a boon, but also a curse.
Think it's easier being a super attractive guy than a super attractive woman.
But probably easier as an avg woman than an avg man.
@Stormcloakvictory being good looking gives loads of benefits for both sexes, that outweigh any costs. These benefits go beyond sex - it benefits socially, professionally.
@jayjaydubful doubtful. I haven't seen any, but wait, maybe I'm ugly.
Gracias por compartir esa información. Me apena mucho que los administradores de UA-cam estén pidiendo cada vez más a estos canales que son importantisimos en donde aprendemos tanto.
I’ve seen you on 2 other interviews…Danica Patrick & Soft White Underbelly…glad you get it..I’m a 70 yr old woman whose friends still believe in legal marriage & can’t understand why I’m not & have been married twice before & Wd be open to a partnership w/o the legal entanglements
Hi there, just came across your message, i don’t want to be nosy, or rude but trying to help inform myself to when i get to be your age! just wondered if U R financially independent on your own merit, or have your parents/ or ex-spouses helped you financially to come to such a GoldieHawn decision in your Golden girl age😉
Expectations in marriage do not align with current reality. Men and women are less on the same page than ever before.
This man is so ridiculously attractive. Well spoken, informed, eloquent in delivery. Then throw a rolled up shirt on tattooed arms?
Educational for all!
He is one of the Kind❤
Great professional!
Honesty, dedication, consistency, tolerance, understanding differences between people without judging is a healthy way to go!
❤
I am working on Sound Frequency Therapy for the past few years. I have a theory of why these societal ills manifest and why it is in general decline.
Basically the chakra energy centres are the supply but the deficit in people's output.
When we experience abuse, trauma, or negative experiences it's like dust collecting in a vacuum filter. Eventually it needs cleaning. How do we clean it?
We hum, talk, sing, laugh. Or we go to church and let the tone of the Organ assist in removing these negative energies.
Men and women have differing chakras which are functioning low and changing over time.
It's the reason for everything! The Rainbow Staircase of sound frequencies.
In the beginning God spoke first
Patience, concentration, physical pain tolerance, temperance, surety, foresight. Those are among of the side effects of Cleansing your energy systems.
this two lawyers said goodbye pretty fast at the end 🤣
such a gifted speaker. I just subscribed. continued success.
Also watch Rabbi Friedman. He talks so much about how love isn’t the answer. Dedication and picking something who wants to be with you and not just your things or part of yoiu, and vice versa.
How about people have some self discipline. Dont do stupid stuff You will get caught
you've done it! you've solved the world! thankyou @joymyer5771
What he hasn't touched on are the marriages that ended in divorce because one partner was just an a .. hole and wasn't worthy of being in a marriage. Unstable people with mental health issues shouldn't be proposing to anyone and women who are grounded shouldn't settle for them. There are those kind of divorces where the partner is just so toxic they are poisonous people to have in the home.
Well, I bet you have some stories to tell. Or I'm assuming you're just generally speaking.
Great interview!
James! Great cupcake analogy! I’ve been looking for a good analogy to teach my sons this. I spent nearly 10 years as a professional DJ and ran into the bleak existence of continuous one night stands and the dangers it represents to your psyche and overall wellbeing. Perfect analogy, thank you 🙏
“Closing Time”-Semisonic 🎧 “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”🎹🎤
Did you put the hyperlink in there just using HTML?
An amazing real lawyer!! Love it!!
James Sexton is my spirit animal.❤
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS: IF SHE TALKS ABOUT MARRIAGE... RUN!!!😮☹😂😂😶😶🤷♂️
I adore this man so much!
Can you write my wedding vows? Bottom line people don’t understand the separation between church and state.
I was confused when I didn't find anything related to the quote by just searching "Risus Sardonicus" initially. To save some people a couple seconds it's a book "Risus Sardonicus
by Warren Martin Hern" and the poem is entitled complicity
I looove that godfather scene too! 😅
Your soon to be ex(s) entire cohort of divorcee friends is 100% focused on trash talking her husband. It is why they have a friendship.
I think the divorce rate is high due to some part in the fact that people encourage such young people to marry when they are not even fully developed and are not mature enough to recognize their own faults and be willing to work together to prevent divorce. Being married doesn’t mean I get what I want 100% of the time and done have to compromise. If you can’t understand it’s not all about getting what you want and can’t learn to be a giving person then you should not get married or not yet until you can recognize these things. I think there should be a law restricting marriage before 25-30.. I don’t agree with 18-22 year olds getting married, ever.
I actually remember the 4-way stop thing because our teacher always emphasized it's up to you to do it right, you can't blame another driver for not doing it right, that's how you get in a wreck. So of course I constantly notice how bad people are at that. If you get to a four-way and there's actually four cars there, pretty much a guarantee one of them will mess it up.
Thank you. 🙏🏽☀️
“There are two things that will make a man confess his sins: God and pain. Not everybody believes in God.” 🥶🥶🥶
Great video, alway love when James goes on podcasts
As Stevie Nicks said in Dreams, "Love is a state of mind"...
I think the most valuable advice he gives in his interviews is, if you are not able to cover the basics of communication and accountability, and/or neither is your partner, it makes no sense to dive deeper into it with the illusion that it'll fix it. That's mariage, kids, etc
It's basically detachment. Not the stupid pill community coldness I have to say, that one is straight up fear and avoidance.
It's very common sense but not easy, for desire and such are very good at blinding one's eyes and it is difficult to argue against yourself.
❤❤❤this❤man❤is❤exceptional❤in❤every❤context❤he❤speaks❤about❤❤❤Thank you so much for posting this on YT!!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤absolutely❤PRECIOUS❤indeed!!!❤❤❤
Most of the people who dont want to commit to someone theyve been with past 6 months to a year decide not to because they have issues with intimacy and/or they want to explore options. Sexual impulsivity is a real problem.
Thankfully I will never be divorced. Currently 63 and have never been married. :)