New Song I'm Writing - "Are You a Child of God?"
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- Опубліковано 5 лис 2024
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So in my judgment this is roughhh lol I basically didn't sing for all of 2020, and am now recovering from a mild case of covid that felt like a head cold + extreme anxiety.. so my voice is out of shape and I'm giving you this disclaimer, honestly, because I'm sensitive about it and judging myself. 2021 I'm not letting my self-judgment of "good enough" keep me from sharing myself, and you Patrons are the ones who'll get to see the most of it ;)
This song to me is about that exact feeling... not good enough. I think it's a very human feeling. I don't know if it's fed by capitalism or if it's innate to being human but I know most of the people in my life struggle with it. I personally have a lineage of replaying and taking their trauma out on the people they "love". I'm going to share my other song in the near future I wrote to my inner child. Through therapy I've been realizing, now that I'm an adult, it's my job to "parent" my inner child and give them everything they needed and wanted but weren't able to receive because the adults in my life were living out their trauma. I might update this later down the road with a video I feel represents my ability better... or maybe not ;) Love you for being here and seeing me for me!
Lyrics:
I’ve held a lot
In the palm of my hands
And I've watched it rot
As time moves fast around me
Getting caught up
In fishing nets
And dirty needles
I’m distraught
By what you think of me now
Am I a child of god
Or a child of always knowing what I’m not
Tell me what might make me better
'Cause I thought
If I went quietly and blindly
I’d be enough
To be thought of more kindly
Break your promises
To me
To my mother (brother)
Then don’t bother us
You were new, but now just another
Of the same
My father’s father’s father
But who’s to blame
Ya’ll just living out your trauma
Are you a child of god
Or a child of always knowing what you’re not
Tell me what might make you better
I bet you thought
If you went quietly and blindly
That'd be enough
To be treated more kindly
So what’s left to do
Time is moving slower
Just for you
Stop playing the victim
And tell the truth
I’m tired of witnessing
The love you love to lose
That shit is only on you
So moving ❤️
I subscribed two years ago and was upset that she stopped posting videos to her channel. But now, some time later, I hear from her again. That's great. Thanks
Beautiful.
That's the first word that comes to mind. I'm glad you've recovered from COVID, and I think you should not worry about your voice, its as magnificent as ever. As for the feelings feeding this song, I can't say I fully understand, but I know that when I saw you on stage for the first time, the energy you and Watsky carried was out of this world. If that display of passion with friends is not a sign of your worth, then I don't know what is. You are you. Every flaw, every shining talent and rusty aspect. There is inherent worth in that uniqueness. We see it. I'm sure your friends do, so even when you can't, remember that.
"Good enough" is too subjective a threshold to care about, but if it truly is something that you cannot shake from your mind...
From one humble UA-cam commenter, that threshold was passed, smashed and left in the dust. I wish you well Camila, your art is a treasure.
Amazing!
This is really beautiful. I’ve been listening to your stuff for a few years. No bullshit. Your writing and voice always come close to bringing a tear to my eye.
Moar likes and moar comments.