*LIVE Coaching Session* - “she doesn’t cook or clean 👩‍🍳”

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  • Опубліковано 30 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 202

  • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
    @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +11

    ⚠️ If you’re married and your expectations are not being met or you’re in need of advice in a private matter
    🙌 We can help!
    ⬇️ Book a 20min Discovery Chat to see how we can help you: ⬇️
    calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min

  • @Thatperson-kt3mu
    @Thatperson-kt3mu 3 місяці тому +19

    I had hyperemesis it is severe morning sickness. I couldnt even look after myself let alone someone depending on me for cooking every day.
    It lasted 6 months of my pregnancy...my husband had to learn to cook easy meals plus some takeaways and clean the house, wash clothes and attend to helping me after work.
    We got through it alhamdulilah now im healthy i do all of the household chores, cooking, shared children reaponsibilities happily.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +2

      Thank you for sharing this. It can help others who may have a more narrow perspective

    • @khaledhadeel
      @khaledhadeel 2 місяці тому

      Yes my friend had the same thing and was in the hospital most of her pregnancy

  • @anitaannie6957
    @anitaannie6957 3 місяці тому +82

    As a woman I do see where the brother is coming from. If my husband needs his trousers ironed I would do it. I clean the house every day and cook every day. However I lived on my own from the age of 16 -23 .so I knew how to look after myself and clean and cook etc. This sister is only just married in a new home with other people and on top of it pregnant. She will find her stride, but give her time. You could iron your trousers in the morning before you go to work. It takes 5 minutes… I have been married for 21 years.

    • @amatulfulani6390
      @amatulfulani6390 2 місяці тому +5

      She’s pregnant which can be very hindering for a woman and he’s worried about trousers??

  • @marian8772
    @marian8772 3 місяці тому +69

    You’re very open minded and considerate about both genders, unlike most men who easily blames the woman for everything. You’re fair and unbiased. I subscribed to you immediately after watching your videos. I’m not married but if I were and had problems you would be the first person I’d reach out for help. May Allah bless you in this world and next life.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +6

      Ameen, Jazak’allahu Khair!

    • @sarahmohammed7357
      @sarahmohammed7357 3 місяці тому

      Aameen

    • @mattynyang3282
      @mattynyang3282 3 місяці тому +2

      I couldn't agree more with what you have said. He's fair and in adjust. Easy to relate to and very humble and understanding on both sides. I'm not married at the moment but when I do Insha'Allah he will be my marriage coach. I will be still watching his videos so I can take notes so when I do get married I can add those values to my marriage and improve my relationship. I would come to him for marriage advice also. Alhamdulillah for marriage coach like this Akhi.

  • @Ujvjjfjfjfjfjf
    @Ujvjjfjfjfjfjf 3 місяці тому +40

    Alxamdulilaah I thank Allaah for my husband, I never iron his clothes because he has chosen to do it from his past habit when he was single, he does his ironing. I just wash and manage the house & cooking. 23yrs of good marriage. I was married 19 and never new how to cook, but my husband was patient and I started learning how to cook in my new kitchen.
    Invest time and patience in your marriage & help eachother & don't compare .

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +5

      Alhamdulilah, I’m happy to hear from others who’ve been married for decades

    • @Ujvjjfjfjfjfjf
      @Ujvjjfjfjfjfjf 3 місяці тому

      ​@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      Asc habo, waxan rabaa inaan suaal kuusoo qoro ee email kaaga iisoodir plz.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      No problem.
      ismailcounselling@gmail.com

    • @sarahmohammed7357
      @sarahmohammed7357 3 місяці тому +4

      Salam alaykum most people said my marriage would not survive I reverted to Islam 2011 meet my husband we married 13 years later we are completing half our deen alhamdulliah ❤🎉

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      Wa’laikum Salaam. Ma’sha’allah!

  • @yasminm.1801
    @yasminm.1801 3 місяці тому +40

    one other thing I’d add is praise her for the stuff she does 😊 !! It’s human nature to want to do more for others when you feel seen and acknowledged. So on the days she cooks and cleans to your standards, appreciate her and tell her how it makes you feel. Little signs of encouragement can go along way especially since she is pregnant and is probably feeling overwhelmed with this new role

    • @floki5182
      @floki5182 3 місяці тому +2

      What about the husband? Has he not been pushed into a new role? Or are you assuming he's accustomed to being a husband? Both have been pushed into new zones so both need encouragement but you only want her to be acknowledged? Shows how often husband's and fathers contributions are ignored.

    • @yasminm.1801
      @yasminm.1801 3 місяці тому +4

      @@floki5182 emm this is a video of a BROTHER asking for advise ? this is not his wife asking ... so exactly why would I give advise to the wife when we're not talking to her rn ... when its the husband who'll most likely watch this video and read these comments. not everything is gender wars lool

    • @yasminm.1801
      @yasminm.1801 3 місяці тому

      @@metroshootu7377 bruh, two things can be right at the same time uno. a brother is asking for advise on his marriage... hence I am giving the advise to the brother.

  • @bythyself9979
    @bythyself9979 3 місяці тому +21

    Pregnancy in the first few months is actually extremely hard. A lot guys especially from our Muslim community need to learn before marriage what it is like for the woman. Someone can't actually get out of bed because it's physicly debilitating.

  • @ashahumblexx1259
    @ashahumblexx1259 3 місяці тому +12

    I've learnt that before you critique someone praise them first. Tell them something you like that they do (e.g making them a packed lunch for work) and then speak about the issue at hand (whatever it is) they will most likely recieve it better and try their best to do whatever their partner has asked of them..I just found your channel, great content btw i thoroughly enjoyed watching this.

  • @lifeinislam6
    @lifeinislam6 3 місяці тому +18

    As long as the wife is not fighting the changes, it'll work out InshaAllah. May Allah bless him for his patience.

  • @fai2875
    @fai2875 3 місяці тому +13

    Ma sha Allah I liked this style of video. I enjoyed your delivery and approach to the situation.
    I think it's very important that the brother and all couples (esp newlyweds) regularly check-in with each other's emotions. In this scenario, how is your wife feeling? How is she coping with wifehood and pregnancy? Does she feel anxious, worried or overwhelmed? What pregnancy symptoms is she experiencing?
    It is also very important our brothers educate themselves on pregnancy symptoms and the challenges each trimester of pregnancy brings. First trimester may bring morning sickness and nausea etc and as the pregnancy progresses you will feel fatigue/exhausted.

  • @hamdagarbo5839
    @hamdagarbo5839 3 місяці тому +11

    living with in laws itself is very hard. I don’t hear him saying she has to cook for the whole family but if he is expecting her to do that is even harder. Most pregnant women can’t do much around the house for the first few months.

    • @sumk66
      @sumk66 2 місяці тому +1

      I wasn't expecting but cooking everyday more or less and eventually got fed up as it was separate for husband and separate for his family..and never appreciated..more issues and 5 years later it ended in divorce..a.man has to do his bit especially if shes being treated like rubbish too and his family should not expect her to be a servant ..if they all live together...woman isn't a servant...this Hindu culture needs to go..

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому +1

      Nothing islamic about this and i refuse to marry for this and to live like this. I will pass

  • @ikrannur8086
    @ikrannur8086 3 місяці тому +12

    Mashallah brother . I recently realised love is not a feeling or emotion but a huge commitment. That being said, for the starters, you have both vowed to have each other back in all circumstances. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns and pregnancy is one of these, trust me is a big deal. If she does love you and putting smile on her face when you come home, that is enough reason to hold her forever . Do not let your emotion ruin your beautiful marriage, having someone waking up beside you, who carrying your child and being loyal to you is a rare. Food and making home is important but is not a necessary. As a sister , my advice is, please have an open communication with her, spend quality time with her and put an effort to know her personality like why she does the things she does? Or why she is not doing the things she supposed to do?. You are a warm hearted brother who has a patient “ what ever you saw you shall reap” so keep the good work .

    • @AllahuAkbaruKabirah
      @AllahuAkbaruKabirah 3 місяці тому

      Alslam alikum wa rahmatu Allah
      May Allah keep you steadfast in islam
      my nople sister The correct and
      obligatory hijab includes covering the face with the whole body , and this is the hijab of the female companions and the mothers of the believers, After the revelation of the ayah of hijab in the Qur’an, the female companions responded to it by covering their faces immediately The
      jilbab is a thick, very wide fabric that is placed on top of the head and covers the entire body until it covers the feet and exceeds them in length it does not and must not reveal any part of the body or describe its size even the shoulders
      This means that it is not right to wear a blouse or jacket that describes the shape of the shoulder as a hijab which all do, also the hijab must not be adornment in itself,
      and if you browse pictures of Muslim women in all Islamic countries 100 years ago, you will find them all covering their faces. Women uncovered their faces after the western colonization and the secular rule, and you are full of good insha'Allah and not less than the previous Muslim women to
      strive in obeying Allah and implementing His command
      May Allah grant you all success and happy life in this world and
      the hereafter
      The correct hijab according to the Qur’an| Muhammad tim humble:
      ua-cam.com/video/xq15cmNFrpQ/v-deo.htmlsi=RD3ABLP_ejHlDDFC

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому

      It is not rare for a woman to be loyal to her man especially if she likes her husband but when the man is loyal no matter what, this is rare

  • @MissT8
    @MissT8 12 днів тому

    I like the wisdom of this brother i might book a session when I'm ready to let someone in my life again 😅

  • @MegaFatz
    @MegaFatz 2 місяці тому +4

    I really believe that having strict roles isn’t something I would recommend. Our fitrah generally means the man works more and the woman takes care of the house but this doesn’t mean that we believe our spouses are robots with no struggle. If the man for example looses his job but the wife is working she should help out of compassion, if the woman has a lot to do and he is free, he should get up and help. I see it as us against everything else. My biggest advice is communication and mercy.

  • @AhmedRaza-lh4oj
    @AhmedRaza-lh4oj 2 місяці тому +5

    Sabr ya Akhi. She does a lot already. Show appreciation. Do NOT let Shaytaan give you waswas that the grass is greener on the other side.

  • @MyNafiso
    @MyNafiso 3 місяці тому +8

    First year of marriage is hard especially if it’s your first marriage, and being pregnant is also very difficult. May Allah give them both patience for each other, understanding and consideration. The only way a marriage can survive is if the two people have compassion for each other.

  • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
    @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому +8

    There's a consensus among the scholars that a woman has the right to have her own place after she is married off, husband has to provide that...what's with these people taking their wives to cook and clean for others. There's one caveat though, if husbands' parents or that of the wife's mum or dad are ill and need some looking after that's understandable .

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +6

      Yes this is a good point. But in some cultures, it is the norm to live with In-Laws for a few years and I’ve seen plenty of divorces because of it

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому

      I love to read how there are still men like you alive !!!!❤

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachit is wrong and we need more education about these matters

  • @amalsuhail5496
    @amalsuhail5496 Місяць тому +1

    Loneliness all day too is a new change in the wife's life

  • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
    @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому +34

    My wife never ever ironed anything for me, and that's not an issue . If the wife is pregnant, man should do most of the chores even after work .
    This is the time you discharge the Rahma and the love that Allah mentioned between the spouses, and mainly, this needs to be initiated by the husband. She will find her way, just be patient, brother.

    • @Nuri.Z
      @Nuri.Z 3 місяці тому +2

      May Allah bless you, your family and your marriage!

    • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
      @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому +2

      @@Nuri.Z ameen

    • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
      @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому

      @@metroshootu7377 I think I'm gonna sit this one out, brother, since you asked the question. Should i carry the child?
      However, let me give you some facts It's well known that the Prophet ASW did do chores in his house as mother of the believers Aisha narrated in the famous hadith.
      Secondly, didn't you read my post? When the wife is pregnant, there's deviation from what is normal or there's علة motive and reason, for the husband to shoulder bigger responsibility which can easily be deduced from the life of the beloved.
      If the Prophet was in the service of his family as Aisha explained he would do more so when the wife is weaker than usual.
      Generally family should help one another in what is good وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَىٰ ۖ.
      No1 ever suggested that husbands alone should do the chores or more than the wives. Or is it that you felt the heat because of the ironing thing

    • @sahrsahr5471
      @sahrsahr5471 3 місяці тому +2

      Masha’Allah. You’re good husband, and if you’re not married yet you will be good one. May Allah have mercy on you and your family ☺️

    • @zeyi8127
      @zeyi8127 3 місяці тому +1

      @@metroshootu7377 He is not being a simp. He said if the wife is pregnant the husband should most of the chores. He didn't say that about the whole marriage. Being pregnant takes a lot of energy from a woman! I feel sorry for your women if you expect her to do everything when she's pregnant and tired. You're probably single aren't you?

  • @deqofarah3136
    @deqofarah3136 3 місяці тому +2

    Manshalah ilaahay ha ku barakeeyo you advice is very true you said the point.

  • @ibrahim_salaou
    @ibrahim_salaou 3 місяці тому +12

    This is solid advice akhi, I’d also encourage the brother to be patient in these types of situations where the wife is pregnant AND living with the in-laws it can be really difficult. Once you have the baby, live separately from the family and work on the communication, things will be much better insha’Allah. May Allah bless their marriage and put barakah in it

  • @mmmmmrrrrr1387
    @mmmmmrrrrr1387 3 місяці тому +6

    What i dont understand is why men are capable of washing and ironing their own clothes before marrige but refuse after marriage. If an office job is shattering try carrying a child inside you 24 7 for 9 months.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      I hear you, but he’s definitely not refusing, they just need to rewrite the roles and responsibilities whilst she is pregnant and come to a fair conclusion for both

    • @kafayamaow7802
      @kafayamaow7802 3 місяці тому

      I belive that mostly the timing and circumstances are a problem. Normally when women get married especially ethnic minority we are already taught the household skills, we know to cook or be able to know that we should be cooking and cleaning and rhe laundry and the food shopping and things like this and normally women do their thing when it comes to this. The problem is when women fall pregnant and I think that's when the expectation should be lowered a little bit cause some women got through rough pregnancies and it can be a really difficult time to process since it's almost a year of suffering. Obviously there are some women that are ontop of it while there pregnant which is awesome but I'm sure I'm not wrong in saying that most women struggle and won't be able to do a lot. The only plausible solution I see is to go and live with a family member or perhaps your mum and an or an aunty someone who is a mahram come live with you both to offer a little bit of support with helping you cook or clean and the other stuff until she feels better. And can handle it again

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@kafayamaow7802my mother is a white woman from the west and she did not teach me anything regarding house chords
      I reached myself to cook but on many days i just dont know what to make. It is draining especially when you need to do much other things as well
      Why are men demanding anyways? Marriage should be enjoyable for both

    • @wilddon5363
      @wilddon5363 2 місяці тому

      You don't get to choose to work only for 9 months, some couples only have one kid that question is silly knowing the fact that there is a difference between males and females.

  • @riomuscat
    @riomuscat 3 місяці тому +2

    Solid advice given coach!

  • @nur5475
    @nur5475 3 місяці тому +2

    We need more of this 🙌

  • @Ahbhswrzq9221
    @Ahbhswrzq9221 2 місяці тому

    You really have empathy and understand women

  • @theparttimehomemaker
    @theparttimehomemaker 3 місяці тому +2

    Great advice, bro. Im a Christian and agree with your recommendation 👍🏼

    • @AllahuAkbaruKabirah
      @AllahuAkbaruKabirah 3 місяці тому +1

      We call you to islam the true religion of all
      the prophets
      Read surah *Mary and *Al Imran and *Al
      Maedah and *Al Qasas from The Quran online

    • @theparttimehomemaker
      @theparttimehomemaker 3 місяці тому +1

      @@AllahuAkbaruKabirah no, thank you!

  • @omarm9317
    @omarm9317 3 місяці тому +3

    I really like this style of video🔥

  • @khaledhadeel
    @khaledhadeel 3 місяці тому +8

    Yea but what’s the dynamic with living with family? Because she’s not only cooking for you then, right? Or just cleaning for you two.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +4

      That’s a good point. She may feel pressured to also do the same for the rest of the household members

    • @Fireplaceandrain
      @Fireplaceandrain 3 місяці тому

      ​@TheMuslimMarriageCoach we should let her speak so we hear the other side. also i wish he could tell us when he has free time does he get frustrated to clean or cook her something .

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      That would help, but not everybody wants their session recorded and may prefer complete private coaching instead

    • @Fireplaceandrain
      @Fireplaceandrain 3 місяці тому +2

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoach Then how are you giving advice from one prespective you should coach them together privately.

    • @IpadIpsd
      @IpadIpsd 3 місяці тому +2

      @@Fireplaceandraindw it’s doesn’t concern u

  • @AdamIdris-le1hf
    @AdamIdris-le1hf 3 місяці тому

    Really beneficial video Mashaallah, keep this up

  • @mmmmmrrrrr1387
    @mmmmmrrrrr1387 3 місяці тому +4

    Sunnah is not to cook lavish 3 hour meat dishes everyday. Also the prophet stiched his own clothes so why cant he iron his own trousers that takes 3 minutes. Being pregnant is enough work.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      You’re right about the prophet, but It’s not about whether he can or can’t iron his own clothes. It’s about being merciful to each other and finding a balance that works for both

  • @khalidnur6669
    @khalidnur6669 3 місяці тому

    Very interesting conversation 🦻

  • @l.m6869
    @l.m6869 2 місяці тому +1

    First year marriage is the most difficult. I feel the brother is having unrealistic expectations . Your wife is pregnant please help her with household duties.

  • @mdarwish2012
    @mdarwish2012 27 днів тому

    She is pregnant. Agreed to live with YOUR PARENTS :( Be grateful and rion her clothers once in a while.

  • @shukrihussein831
    @shukrihussein831 3 місяці тому

    SubhanaAllah life always works the opposite way, I’m married for 4 years Alhamdulillah I do everything in the house for my husband cooking cleaning ironing his clothes whatever he needs I’m always ready with it but the worst part is sometimes I feel sick I get tired or pregnant and he’s like akhhh please don’t tell me to do household things I don’t like it blablabla I just feel hurt deeply and Move on 😢 so in this life you’ll never meet two good couples living together, one Should have more patience in order for them to live together

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      Absolutely, patience is needed
      But normally husbands do come around, and they do know, subconsciously at least, that the prophet helped around when needed

    • @mdarwish2012
      @mdarwish2012 27 днів тому

      You teach people how to treat you. I am afraid a bomb will explode and you will be fed up with him one day. Patience is a good think, but you can still adress stuff that bothers you. People can learn.

  • @JannatHerzallah
    @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому

    BY THE WAY: it is so REFRESHING to read there are still men that want to provide, and love their woman. Still,there are men that allow a woman to relax,to be happy. As i can read in the comments. Alhamdoulilaaah
    Marriage should be a beautiful thing enjoyable for both❤

  • @barlinhilowle5259
    @barlinhilowle5259 3 місяці тому +2

    May Allah bless him for working two jobs and providing for his family. If she wasn’t pregnant I would’ve said she is just a lazy person honestly she is pregnant, which means she is going through a lot. Maybe she can do ironing his clothes but this marriage is very new so give this chance marriage is hard but if you put your trust in Allah and listen to other and most of all respect each other that marriage will be safe in Sha Allah

  • @SM-df8fy
    @SM-df8fy 2 місяці тому +1

    Oh my lord “make sure my clothes are ironed?”. Who ironed his clothes before marriage?

  • @mlindalina1
    @mlindalina1 3 місяці тому +13

    Allah gave women a break from praying when she is on her menstrual cycle. Why can’t he give her a break too

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +9

      I know where you’re coming from, but the fact that the brother is seeking help so early on, is a testament to him loving his wife and valuing his relationship

    • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
      @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому

      That understanding of yours, that husbands have more rights than the wives' parents is more of a juristic conclusion than a Quranic or hadith prescription.
      Jannah is under the feet of mothers not the husbands or wives.
      The nusoos or texts on parents rights far outweigh that which are mentioned between spouses ..people with literalist understanding of religion always put husbands before the wives parents Go and check how many companions have ordereded their sons to divorce their wives and without questions sons would alway listen to his parents. @metroshootu7377

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому

      ​​​​​@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach educate men how many women turn fat and ugly after marriage and that it has a lot to do with cortisol and hormones and not so much with the food she eats because most house wives i know barely eat because they forget to eat. Many house wives are burned out. I think being a house wife can be more difficult than working outside. At home you dont see a single person (at least in the west) and the tasks are not challenging and boring and monotone. Also, women are human beings and we are all different. A man can not just compare her to other women or family members. He should also respect her and have mercy towards her. He should also not be so mother enmershed. Look this up on youtube about mother enmershed men. Yes you should respect and honor your parents but there are boundaries that many men cross and they cannot have healthy marriages. It is not okay to sit on your mothers lab as a 30 year old, kiss her on the mouth or close to the mouth, see her dress up and vice versa. Or get her out on date nights while your wife sweats at home like she is not the actual wife but more like your mother. It should be obvious that your wife is your wife and you give her gifts,roses,you get her date nights. All you do it looks after your mom especially if she is alone. Ofcourse give he gifts. I love my parents and i will never abondon them. This is not what i try to say. The father of the husband is responsible for the mothers housing,food,clothes and he is the one to give mother affection in a way that its obvious that they are husband and wife. He can kiss her on the lips, hold her hand for hours, get her to date nights. Its not for the son to do it and many people dont know the boundaries anymore which is wrong on❤ many levels and again, marriages cannot thrive when these boundaries are not clear.
      A man that let his wife relax and is easy going is better off. He will have a better marriage and have more quality time with his wife. How nice is it to come home and his wife is happy,relaxed,fit, smells good, beautiful. And it was totally okay for her to make a healthy,tasty and easy meal instead of having to think what to eat next all the time and be in the kitchen 3 hours. The wife should not be expected to be like his mother or to behave like a second mother. She is not his friend, his mother or his sister, she is his wife and lover whom he kisses and so on. Whom he is very close with. The marriage should be like heaven for both with much affection going on each day.
      Many times it is the mother or sister who is rude and the reason of divorce. For example, she is the one to wake her son up on how lazy or in consideratie his wife is. An adult man should not allow his family to disrespect his wife or interrupt his household and should abstain from emotional incest. The mother should realize he is now and adult man, a married man, and she should step back and let him be the man of his household. His mother should not be jealous. Not of the affection he gives his wife(which is normal and good) and also not because she never got this treatment from her own husband. Many mothers dont want her son to treat his wife like gold. Her own husband never showed her affection and she was nothing more than a house maid. Which is not Islamic at all. Statistics show that married men are more happy while married women are the opposite. This is wrong and i , as a woman, refuse to get married if all i do is just be another mother. I am a person, i am valuable and i have needs just as much as the husband has needs. I want a romantic experience and i want a close relationship with my husband where we both respect each other.
      We need more Islamic videos about this with more debth so women can also be happily married and be a woman. A woman that has time for mental and physical health, for beautifying herself, for having a bath, for doing nothing so she can give back her best to her husband.
      Both will be most happy in marriage

    • @wilddon5363
      @wilddon5363 2 місяці тому

      Sister you're speaking from emotion as expected however, did you think for once that Allah mercy is far greater than humans can comprehend even between spouses there's a reason why there are verses in the Qur'an where Allah tells us this, that answers your question because neither the husband or wife are as merciful as Allah.

  • @ummabdillah26
    @ummabdillah26 3 місяці тому +1

    Why are there so many low key feminists in the comments. I’m a house wife and I believe if your husband is working his backside off day and night to provide food and shelter the the least the wife can do is cook a meal and keep the house tidy. It’s team work. Off both should help each other wife each others roles. Like husband can help with house work sometimes, and the wife can provide emotional support for the husband and go out of her way to make his work life easier

    • @SM-df8fy
      @SM-df8fy 2 місяці тому +2

      'working his backside off'. What job do these men have? if you get married to blue collar workers who have to work labour intensive jobs then yes I understand. Let's start teaching men to aim higher in life so they can have a non labour intensive jobs so that they can have better physical and mental health

    • @amatulfulani6390
      @amatulfulani6390 2 місяці тому +1

      “Feminist” is the go-to label that people like to use whenever a woman has any kind of dissenting opinion. People really need to grow up.

    • @amatulfulani6390
      @amatulfulani6390 2 місяці тому +1

      And if she’s pregnant, (which is because of him in the first place), that’s extra strain on the body, so no. She should be mostly resting.

  • @Fireplaceandrain
    @Fireplaceandrain 3 місяці тому

    It's sad what we have become why is this comment section for female and males to fight .We should help and encourage each other all this hatred its mostly cuz we don't know the rights thenperson has on us our standards change with what the west wants .let's be kind to each other okaaayyyyy let's appreciate each other .

  • @Recomegg
    @Recomegg 3 місяці тому +1

    just a question do you think it's right to have your 17 year old eldest daughter should be in the place where you and your wife are "discussing the problems between the husband and wife relationship" and have a family meeting but really arguing? I hope this makes sense.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      It’s definitely not ideal but for some people it may help bring unity if an older child mediates.
      The arguing should not be happening, that’s why having somebody who is unknown to both parties to mediate helps so well to resolve all marital disputes and keep the relationship going

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      If that’s something that you’re interested in, book in a discovery call InshaAllah and we can show you how we can help
      calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min

    • @Recomegg
      @Recomegg 3 місяці тому

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoach so what should I do? Announce another meeting but instead let me talk about the issue I am seeing or just leave them be. I am not a therapist but I think I know what they are missing in their relationship.. respect.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      Oh, are you the daughter in this case? I’m a bit confused

    • @Recomegg
      @Recomegg 3 місяці тому

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoach sorry my English isn’t t that good. Yes I am the daughter

  • @jzmill
    @jzmill 2 місяці тому

    Abu Umamah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever recites the ‘verse of the Throne’ after every prescribed prayer, there will be nothing standing between him and entry into Paradise but his death.”
    Source: al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ lil-Ṭabarānī 8068
    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

  • @rahmaandrtgismail2847
    @rahmaandrtgismail2847 3 місяці тому

    Everything bro mentioned is simple and easy things, man understand don’t tell wife what to do that’s disrespectful to her, because women already know how to handle her if you let her and be patient. Try to do your part is look like you saying I’m out there working all day and she must do cooking, cleaning all that stuff, try asking her her day and if needs any help around the house in that way you’ll be happy family simple and easy

  • @ayaanibrahim8735
    @ayaanibrahim8735 3 місяці тому

    Maanshaallah my brother

  • @sk3440
    @sk3440 2 місяці тому

    Just wanted to know-
    Is wife not cooking daily as big an issue as the man not financially providing?

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  2 місяці тому +1

      Only if it’s something that the husband has told her to do whilst she is at home and he’s at work.
      Cooking isn’t a requirement islamically but listening to the husband is
      The husband providing is a requirement regardless

  • @Stxrria
    @Stxrria 2 місяці тому

    I hate cooking 😭 (and can’t cook it well) atp I’m never getting married

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  2 місяці тому

      Naa don’t say that. You’ll be fine

    • @JannatHerzallah
      @JannatHerzallah 2 місяці тому

      Many women are unhappy in the marriage dont be sad about it

    • @mdarwish2012
      @mdarwish2012 27 днів тому

      You can learn how to cook during your marriage, shouldn't be a problem. The right guy for you won't make a fuss about it.

    • @janetjatta7945
      @janetjatta7945 День тому

      Don't say that

  • @simanhassan8756
    @simanhassan8756 3 місяці тому +8

    By the way she is not obligated to cook for you.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      I was going to mention this but Ma’sha’allah you got there first.
      And tbh, most sisters are happy to cook for their husband and family so long as they view him as an amazing husband

    • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
      @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@metroshootu7377
      It's not obligatory on the wife to cook for the husband, you just made the point yourself that its a matter of opinion among the scholars.
      Also, scholars did say obeying the husband is obligatory but on that 'فيما هو من 'حَقِّه which is purely his 'right' conjugal comes to mind but everything is within the limits of her ability, without bringing hardship or harm to her.
      Pregnancy could fall in to the hardship category. The Islamic legal maxim which is also a hadith reminds us... لَا ضَرَرَ وَلَا ضِرَارَ There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.
      The basis of marriage is love, rahma and common sense not which act is obligatory or recommended.

    • @kafayamaow7802
      @kafayamaow7802 3 місяці тому

      ​@metroshootu7377 isn't there a difference of an opinion I heard that if the woman comes from a Houshold where she had maids then that's the standards that a husband should provide and if she come from a household where she would cook and clean in the house then that would be the expectation. And many of the scholars say that the woman is married to be a spouse and a lovable kind character to her husband and a good mother in terms of tarbiyah and affection and kindness to her children not to cook and clean. That can be fixed with employing someone to do that. So is it really far fetched ukhti for a woman to want to not cook and clean when she is married. Especially if she comes from a house where that was already being Done.

    • @samiraabdul1182
      @samiraabdul1182 2 місяці тому

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoachyes this is true but I also feel like Muslim men should be educated on that to because at some point he said it is the role that is ordained for her which is in fact not true in Islam. Personally though I’d do it as long as there is appreciation and a helping hand

  • @amalsuhail5496
    @amalsuhail5496 Місяць тому

    Who are these other people they are living with?😮

  • @shakur8918
    @shakur8918 3 місяці тому

    Shouldn’t the brother be disguising his voice?

  • @gintoki2643
    @gintoki2643 3 місяці тому +1

    Wait? Why are they living with other people?

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      Living with the husband’s family

    • @Fireplaceandrain
      @Fireplaceandrain 3 місяці тому

      Does she leave the room when he leaves most likely not I heard soo much stories it's not easy to live woth inlaws mostly the mother is really hard she mostly makes u feel unworthy of her son. May Allah help them move out and work things out .❤❤❤@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach

  • @Sarah-to7oj
    @Sarah-to7oj 3 місяці тому +12

    She's not your maid

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +15

      I hear you, but his wife doing a few things around the house whilst he’s working doesn’t equal maid. But I understand how he phrased it, may come across that he is treating her like one

    • @monicaxnyc
      @monicaxnyc 3 місяці тому +1

      I’m my husbands maid. Stay mad feminist.

    • @SM-df8fy
      @SM-df8fy 2 місяці тому +1

      How does that make her a feminist? Why are you mad that the sister wouldn’t accept being a maid. Her husband/future husband won’t treat her like your husband treats you. Hopefully she marries someone that actually loves and values her

    • @amatulfulani6390
      @amatulfulani6390 2 місяці тому

      @@monicaxnyc
      That is your choice. Why are you getting mad at her? No need to flaunt your low self-esteem on a public platform.

  • @aminaa7909
    @aminaa7909 3 місяці тому

    LOL is this for real!!

  • @moredeposits
    @moredeposits 3 місяці тому +3

    Men have mostly kept up their part of the traditional contract, but women have not. Women have trained their whole lives to take up men's traditional role, so now many don't see it fit to be a housemaker. Tough times

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      This is very true so it’s upon the man to vet the women he speaks to for marriage if they fit his ideal

    • @fali6723
      @fali6723 3 місяці тому

      Not Somali women…. It’s normally the other way round where women do the man and woman’s job and don’t complain…. But here u see the men ranting because they are experiencing this for the first time… Wallahi funny

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      Yeah, it goes both ways. The woman and her family would be blamed if they missed the signs that he was not a good guy, before I suggest any advice in how to change him etc

  • @africanqueen4943
    @africanqueen4943 2 місяці тому

    Biggest problem that we are facing is that young women that are getting married lack essential skills in making a marriage work. I would say to this brother that as mothers we always have that one daughter that is not domesticated. The problem that you are experiencing, we face this as well as mothers with daughters. Your husband is working hard for you, and really don’t understand why ironing a pair of trousers that does not take more than 5 minutes. Look after your husband young women as you need to make him happy.

  • @Lioness-je2dg
    @Lioness-je2dg 3 місяці тому +22

    1. She’s pregnant with your child
    2. She is not your maid she is your wife.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +7

      Remember there’s nothing wrong with her doing things around the house purely for her husband, and vice versa, as long as they’ve come to an agreement

    • @Lioness-je2dg
      @Lioness-je2dg 3 місяці тому +8

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      Salam
      A wife will always be submissive to her husband if and when he is making her environment safe and is talking to her with respect.
      What I gathered from this short clip it seems like he demands he is speaking to her like an employee and not a spouse.
      Make her feel loved and cherished and watch her do all of the things and above.

    • @faay8912
      @faay8912 3 місяці тому +12

      She’s home all day and doesn’t have a job sis come on she could at least iron and put things away! Let’s not make excuses and he never said he’s looking for a maid did he??? As a women I feel annoyed reading this nonsense. Let me tell you something some girl willing to be a maid will snatch your man if you can’t even do simple things like this

    • @Lioness-je2dg
      @Lioness-je2dg 3 місяці тому +9

      @@faay8912
      She is pregnant sis
      I’m not sure if you tried carrying a child, but that can be very taxing and some are even bedridden. I’m not sure what you’re on about other women being willing to be a maid? If that’s the case then let them.
      According to the seen She is not obligated to do nothing if she pleases to, but of course a decent woman will always contribute to the household by maintaining the house and cooking/ cleaning etc.

    • @Lioness-je2dg
      @Lioness-je2dg 3 місяці тому

      @@faay8912
      The brother is obligated to provide for her and their kids. It seems to me the brother did not know what he signed up for as he is working 2-3 jobs to provide for them and he is lashing out on her.
      He should have mercy on his pregnant newly wedded wife. She will in turn show up for you in ten-fold.

  • @MissHersi963
    @MissHersi963 3 місяці тому +3

    This is so laughable

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому

      Would love to hear your take, appreciate the comment

    • @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141
      @mohammedabdirrahmanrubblei9141 3 місяці тому +1

      Perhaps you make du'aa for the sister and the brother in their struggle to hold onto their young family in the face of adversity.

  • @SarahKowalczky1
    @SarahKowalczky1 3 місяці тому +3

    If she don’t want to do nothing then why she married to sit down 🪑 from the morning until the night ?? Why Allah send this amazing Muslim men to who***s! Who don’t want to do nothing…!! Just like to take advantage from this men, gosh he do 3 jobs !!!

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +1

      They will rectify their issues and I’m sure she will soon realise that she has a good man

    • @Fireplaceandrain
      @Fireplaceandrain 3 місяці тому +3

      Thats quite disrespectful of u we didn't hear her side of the story don't jump to conclusions but he seems like he is hard working and really loves her and wants to mend things and I'm sure she does too and inshallah they will .stop calling pple wh*****s .

    • @SarahKowalczky1
      @SarahKowalczky1 3 місяці тому

      @@Fireplaceandrain well, well, well I know lots of Muslim women when the man he do many things and she don’t do nothing and he expecting from him everything without do nothing. A woman who take advantage from a good man is who***E. If it doesn’t suit to you is okay as woman I feel so so bad when God men belong to bad woman. !

  • @JannahAlFirdaus91
    @JannahAlFirdaus91 3 місяці тому +4

    feminism...☕

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +4

      3rd wave feminism is the real issue

    • @JannahAlFirdaus91
      @JannahAlFirdaus91 3 місяці тому +1

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoach enjoy watching your videos brother, keep up good work

    • @anonnon-d8o
      @anonnon-d8o 2 місяці тому

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoachthis just opened my eyes. i never realized there was a distinction or i never had a word for it!!!! because people say feminism is bad but i always thought in the back of my head, well there are good things feminism has done for the west like giving women certain rights. but i get it now

  • @AB-hu2uw
    @AB-hu2uw 3 місяці тому

    U got scammed ahki, these tings in the west are a no go.

    • @TheMuslimMarriageCoach
      @TheMuslimMarriageCoach  3 місяці тому +6

      Not all of them akh, it’s more nuanced than that, but definitely both sides have to play the game differently now

    • @jussreflect
      @jussreflect 3 місяці тому

      @@TheMuslimMarriageCoachmay Allah bless you ahki. Kind words

    • @user-ry2os1gj6k
      @user-ry2os1gj6k 2 місяці тому

      Not necessarily all of us in the best are bad some women like myself till hold onto traditional values and dont expect a man to lift a finger in a household where he is providing and bringing in income.