In the Netflix series "Anne with an E" (a take on Anne of Green Gables) the town was talking about the fate of a teacher because she was teaching the children how to think for themselves. The minister of the town said that the purpose of school was to train the children how to concentrate and follow directions so that they would grow up and be good workers in factories. It is important that we develop a society with people that think for them selves instead of just following what they are told. The other important thing to understand is what it means to vote in elections and the understand what is true and false. Unfortunately when it comes to politics people can say anything misleading they want. You can't sell products or services doing this but to get a vote you can.
I (27m) unfortunately had my primary caretaker (mother) absolutely obsessed with the belief that any year u aren’t moving forward in ur career (educational or otherwise) is a wasted year. My whole life has felt as an anxious hustle to go faster and faster to earn her love and appreciation. Now I find myself with a sense of self that is built mostly by other peoples opinions of me, how my career is going, and every set back is a cataclysmic event. Struggling to redefine myself and my priorities. Your videos on unschooling really speak to me as Im against traditional educational systems and homeschooling didn’t quite fit the bill for me, i feel like id have blossomed if I was unschooled in this way
My 18 and 20 yr old are still at home. I love having them here. My oldest wants to move interstate for work. I am anxious to see her thrive in a new life seperate from us, but will miss her. Im sure therell be lots of visits and phone calls. The parenting relationship will be different moving forward, but will be lifelong i hope.
Oof the meme that you shared "Having kids is a LIFETIME commitment...they are forever my kids, not temporary assignments!" really connected with me and now there's all this liquid coming out of my eyes. My childhood lacked appropriate life guidance, healthy boundaries and togetherness or inclusion in my family that could have allowed for us kids to have a sense of security while also exploring our own individuality. Instead I felt weighted down by responsibility beyond my years, feeling like I was a burden to my parents and like I had to figure it all out on my own without the emotional support I really needed. I don't have any relationship with my family as an adult and have felt like I've had to be my own rock in this life. I wasn't pushed out of the house at 18 thankfully, but it was still messy trying to figure out adulting at that young age (Well, I still haven't figured that out, lol). I have had to uncover a lot of buried emotions, unlearning habits and re-parent myself. I think a lot of people can relate to that and its probably rare for people to have grown up in a family that is like what you have created but it is also might be more likely now than it was when we were kids. It is beautiful to hear that the type of childhood I desired is not just a fantasy in my head.Thank you for sharing. I am getting value from this video even though I don't have any children.
My daughter (homeschooled but not unschooled) ended up starting community college at 15. I wasn't comfortable with her leaving home to move to a four year college at seventeen, so I required her to spend three years living at home and doing community college prior to moving to university. I think she probably could have succeeded but even at 18 she struggled with some things once she'd left home-- I don't regret insisting that she take that extra year to mature. She still graduated with her bachelor's at 19, so it didn't lose her too much time in the end. I guess that my point is that sometimes our kids do need a little more guidance, and it's okay to apply the brakes when you feel it's needed.
Yes! I think it's generally a bad idea to send young people off without adequate preparation or before they mature sufficiently. My daughter's friends all left our country to study abroad (in the US and Canada), many were traumatized, some didn't finish. They were shocked by the drug culture, the rampant drinking and drunkenness, in addition to adjusting to a foreign country and culture. She stayed home and attended the local university. Girl children in particular need to be mature enough to handle what can sometimes be a hostile world. My daughter later went abroad to do a postgraduate degree. She coped quite well and enjoyed the experience.
Yes, I absolutely thought adults magically knew adulty stuff about mortgages etc. We don't! I also forced myself to go to college at 18 which was a massive mistake. Beautiful quote too
We are dealing with this very subject.My youngest son graduated in June and is not going to college yet. As a matter of fact he doesn't know what he wants at all. Heck I didn't know either at that age.I wish I had more of a dialogue with my parents when I was his age. I had no guidance. He knows that he will have to chose a direction soon but we tell him that no-one knows really what they want at that age and that it is ok.I feel the "looks" from my family that he doesn't have a direction.We are ok with him buying some time to figure it out.
I want to encourage you and your son. When my son was 17 and graduated high school, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life but he did know it would never involve formal schooling again. We told him that was a fine perspective to hold, but that he could not just sit home and do nothing while he figured that out. He had to get a job doing some thing, anything. Year one, he worked Restoration with a neighbors company. Year two he worked computers building touch screens for a friends company. Year three he worked as a mechanic. Cue The Pandemic! While he was furloughed from his mechanics job, he started helping another friend’s father with his small craft marine parts business for the summer of 2020. Once that seasonal job was finished, my son realized he could continue working on his own doing something similar. 2 1/2 years later, my son is making six figures at the age of 24 running his own business. His business, coincidentally, combines restoration, computer literacy and wiring, and mechanical know how. My point is, let them discover on their own what is interesting and beneficial. It may seem circuitous, but eventually they get there. In the meanwhile, encouragement to get out there and explore and experiment is probably the most helpful thing you can give your children.
@@merrireilly4614 Thank you for your reply! It is right in line with my beliefs that they will eventually find something that interests them.My son is not keen on going to college either.We have had the same conversation about going out and finding job and trying new things.I am sure you are so proud of your son!
THANK YOU! Those of us going through this phase in our children's lives may be figuring this out on our own, but it's so valuable to have our newfound perspectives echoed and dare I say validated by a person on UA-cam. I came for the gardening, but I'm staying for the insights.
I'm in an international Discord server and have made friends with a young man from India/Taiwan (the family moved to Taiwan in his early teens) and explaining the 'booting kids out at 18' thing to him was a whole culture shock thing, in his culture kids may never move out, couples move into the parents house after the wedding, often the husbands family house, but the 'norms' are expanding, even some progressive families are allowing for LGTBQ couples. The point is the idea of kicking any member of the family out of the family home is just completely alien to him, of course the whole 'nuclear family home' 2 adults and their kids alone in a home is also confusing, his first question was 'Who watches the children when the parents need time to them selves or go to work?' the second was 'Who cares for the elderly?' outside child care and nursing homes offended his sensibilities entirely.
Yes, that is so true! It takes an extended family to help watch young children and it seems healthier to have elderly parents at home instead of in a nursing home.
@@wendypanozzo9133 the 'amazing' thing is the 'nuclear family' is actually just about as old as its name, as late as the 50s in the USA living in multi-generational, or even communal homes was the norm. The idea of 2 adults having their own private home is at its core an attempt of the working class tp express opulence , yay capitalism . New couples might get a free standing home on the family farm, but add-ons where much more common solutions to an expanding family.
@@wendypanozzo9133 Also not for nothing but a distinct small family like that is also much less stable both financially and socially, if the bread winner looses their job that is much more of a stressful and dangerous situation if there is only one, or if a person is having issues during or after child birth having other people around to help out or even entirely take over in required can quite literally be a life saver. living ion community isn't just nice, it's necessary for human survival.
not my words, it's a meme making the rounds of FB and Instagram and I have yet to see an attribution. If you know who wrote it, I would LOVE to credit them.
I don't understand the American obsession with putting children out at 18 years. Many other nations support children into their twenties and until they can be secure on their own two feet. Also, it is much harder (and takes longer) to be independent in a poorer developing country, - the 18 year mark is a sign of the wealth of the U.S.
Unschoolers can be religious or non-religious. Unschooling is an education philosophy where everything our kids engage in is a meaningful learning opportunity and kids have a lot of autonomy in their daily lives. Learning isn’t restricted to set subjects that are isolated from each other, and kids don’t typically choose to use curricula or textbooks
Unschooling is what people age 18+ do to learn and is why people say they know WAY more now at 30 than they did at 20, more at 40 than at 30 and more at 60 than 40, then they look back at when they were 18 and say they "knew nothing" blatantly admitting the effectiveness of learning through living life and the ineffectiveness of learning through schooling both in the same statement.
get them out of the house haha I had boomer parents and they pressured us to get out would have been nice to stay in til 30 but what kind of life is that
In the Netflix series "Anne with an E" (a take on Anne of Green Gables) the town was talking about the fate of a teacher because she was teaching the children how to think for themselves. The minister of the town said that the purpose of school was to train the children how to concentrate and follow directions so that they would grow up and be good workers in factories. It is important that we develop a society with people that think for them selves instead of just following what they are told. The other important thing to understand is what it means to vote in elections and the understand what is true and false. Unfortunately when it comes to politics people can say anything misleading they want. You can't sell products or services doing this but to get a vote you can.
I (27m) unfortunately had my primary caretaker (mother) absolutely obsessed with the belief that any year u aren’t moving forward in ur career (educational or otherwise) is a wasted year. My whole life has felt as an anxious hustle to go faster and faster to earn her love and appreciation.
Now I find myself with a sense of self that is built mostly by other peoples opinions of me, how my career is going, and every set back is a cataclysmic event.
Struggling to redefine myself and my priorities. Your videos on unschooling really speak to me as Im against traditional educational systems and homeschooling didn’t quite fit the bill for me, i feel like id have blossomed if I was unschooled in this way
My 18 and 20 yr old are still at home. I love having them here. My oldest wants to move interstate for work. I am anxious to see her thrive in a new life seperate from us, but will miss her. Im sure therell be lots of visits and phone calls. The parenting relationship will be different moving forward, but will be lifelong i hope.
Oof the meme that you shared "Having kids is a LIFETIME commitment...they are forever my kids, not temporary assignments!" really connected with me and now there's all this liquid coming out of my eyes. My childhood lacked appropriate life guidance, healthy boundaries and togetherness or inclusion in my family that could have allowed for us kids to have a sense of security while also exploring our own individuality. Instead I felt weighted down by responsibility beyond my years, feeling like I was a burden to my parents and like I had to figure it all out on my own without the emotional support I really needed. I don't have any relationship with my family as an adult and have felt like I've had to be my own rock in this life.
I wasn't pushed out of the house at 18 thankfully, but it was still messy trying to figure out adulting at that young age (Well, I still haven't figured that out, lol). I have had to uncover a lot of buried emotions, unlearning habits and re-parent myself. I think a lot of people can relate to that and its probably rare for people to have grown up in a family that is like what you have created but it is also might be more likely now than it was when we were kids. It is beautiful to hear that the type of childhood I desired is not just a fantasy in my head.Thank you for sharing. I am getting value from this video even though I don't have any children.
@gardendel2789 🙂💗
My unschooled daughter moved out at 22. It was the right time for her.
Thank you for this video. I look forward to the next ones. I don't understand the "rush" to get them out of the house. Every kid is unique!
My daughter (homeschooled but not unschooled) ended up starting community college at 15. I wasn't comfortable with her leaving home to move to a four year college at seventeen, so I required her to spend three years living at home and doing community college prior to moving to university. I think she probably could have succeeded but even at 18 she struggled with some things once she'd left home-- I don't regret insisting that she take that extra year to mature. She still graduated with her bachelor's at 19, so it didn't lose her too much time in the end. I guess that my point is that sometimes our kids do need a little more guidance, and it's okay to apply the brakes when you feel it's needed.
Yes! I think it's generally a bad idea to send young people off without adequate preparation or before they mature sufficiently. My daughter's friends all left our country to study abroad (in the US and Canada), many were traumatized, some didn't finish. They were shocked by the drug culture, the rampant drinking and drunkenness, in addition to adjusting to a foreign country and culture. She stayed home and attended the local university. Girl children in particular need to be mature enough to handle what can sometimes be a hostile world. My daughter later went abroad to do a postgraduate degree. She coped quite well and enjoyed the experience.
"a spectrum of normal is what's normal" that's so brilliant!
Yes, I absolutely thought adults magically knew adulty stuff about mortgages etc. We don't! I also forced myself to go to college at 18 which was a massive mistake.
Beautiful quote too
We are dealing with this very subject.My youngest son graduated in June and is not going to college yet. As a matter of fact he doesn't know what he wants at all. Heck I didn't know either at that age.I wish I had more of a dialogue with my parents when I was his age. I had no guidance. He knows that he will have to chose a direction soon but we tell him that no-one knows really what they want at that age and that it is ok.I feel the "looks" from my family that he doesn't have a direction.We are ok with him buying some time to figure it out.
I want to encourage you and your son. When my son was 17 and graduated high school, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life but he did know it would never involve formal schooling again. We told him that was a fine perspective to hold, but that he could not just sit home and do nothing while he figured that out. He had to get a job doing some thing, anything. Year one, he worked Restoration with a neighbors company. Year two he worked computers building touch screens for a friends company. Year three he worked as a mechanic. Cue The Pandemic! While he was furloughed from his mechanics job, he started helping another friend’s father with his small craft marine parts business for the summer of 2020. Once that seasonal job was finished, my son realized he could continue working on his own doing something similar. 2 1/2 years later, my son is making six figures at the age of 24 running his own business. His business, coincidentally, combines restoration, computer literacy and wiring, and mechanical know how. My point is, let them discover on their own what is interesting and beneficial. It may seem circuitous, but eventually they get there. In the meanwhile, encouragement to get out there and explore and experiment is probably the most helpful thing you can give your children.
@@merrireilly4614 Thank you for your reply! It is right in line with my beliefs that they will eventually find something that interests them.My son is not keen on going to college either.We have had the same conversation about going out and finding job and trying new things.I am sure you are so proud of your son!
@@wendypanozzo9133 they have us! They’ll be ok then lol. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season spent with those you hold dear.
@@merrireilly4614 You as well!
I watch TONS of unschooling content…this BY FAR was the most insightful information. Sooo relatable and helpful! Thanks so much for this video(s) 🥰
What a kind approach to parenting.
THANK YOU! Those of us going through this phase in our children's lives may be figuring this out on our own, but it's so valuable to have our newfound perspectives echoed and dare I say validated by a person on UA-cam. I came for the gardening, but I'm staying for the insights.
I'm in an international Discord server and have made friends with a young man from India/Taiwan (the family moved to Taiwan in his early teens) and explaining the 'booting kids out at 18' thing to him was a whole culture shock thing, in his culture kids may never move out, couples move into the parents house after the wedding, often the husbands family house, but the 'norms' are expanding, even some progressive families are allowing for LGTBQ couples. The point is the idea of kicking any member of the family out of the family home is just completely alien to him, of course the whole 'nuclear family home' 2 adults and their kids alone in a home is also confusing, his first question was 'Who watches the children when the parents need time to them selves or go to work?' the second was 'Who cares for the elderly?' outside child care and nursing homes offended his sensibilities entirely.
Yes, that is so true! It takes an extended family to help watch young children and it seems healthier to have elderly parents at home instead of in a nursing home.
Maybe one day we will get to that idea of families helping each other!
@@wendypanozzo9133 the 'amazing' thing is the 'nuclear family' is actually just about as old as its name, as late as the 50s in the USA living in multi-generational, or even communal homes was the norm. The idea of 2 adults having their own private home is at its core an attempt of the working class tp express opulence , yay capitalism . New couples might get a free standing home on the family farm, but add-ons where much more common solutions to an expanding family.
@@wendypanozzo9133 Also not for nothing but a distinct small family like that is also much less stable both financially and socially, if the bread winner looses their job that is much more of a stressful and dangerous situation if there is only one, or if a person is having issues during or after child birth having other people around to help out or even entirely take over in required can quite literally be a life saver. living ion community isn't just nice, it's necessary for human survival.
@@victoriajankowski1197 I agree whole heartedly!
Angela, did you write the words about children not being a temporary assignment? Beautiful words.
not my words, it's a meme making the rounds of FB and Instagram and I have yet to see an attribution. If you know who wrote it, I would LOVE to credit them.
No I don’t know but it seems like something you would’ve written. I really appreciate the sentiment. Words to live by!
I don't understand the American obsession with putting children out at 18 years. Many other nations support children into their twenties and until they can be secure on their own two feet. Also, it is much harder (and takes longer) to be independent in a poorer developing country, - the 18 year mark is a sign of the wealth of the U.S.
If you push kids away, they tend to keep going away, and by the time they've figured it out (without your help) you might find you hardly know them.
Does un -schooled mean home-schooled without religion incorporated? I've never heard this term.
Unschoolers can be religious or non-religious. Unschooling is an education philosophy where everything our kids engage in is a meaningful learning opportunity and kids have a lot of autonomy in their daily lives. Learning isn’t restricted to set subjects that are isolated from each other, and kids don’t typically choose to use curricula or textbooks
Unschooling is what people age 18+ do to learn and is why people say they know WAY more now at 30 than they did at 20, more at 40 than at 30 and more at 60 than 40, then they look back at when they were 18 and say they "knew nothing" blatantly admitting the effectiveness of learning through living life and the ineffectiveness of learning through schooling both in the same statement.
get them out of the house haha I had boomer parents and they pressured us to get out would have been nice to stay in til 30 but what kind of life is that