My daughters and I were playing a homebrew campaign based on the web comic "8-bit Theater". I, as DM, had them following in the steps of the "heroes" of said comic. When they reached Elfland, they had to deal with having giants launched at them. From cannons. Giants that were enchanted to explode violently if they were touched by anything other than themselves. Unfortunately for the girls, they, too, were flying through the air at the time (after having been launched by a catapult). My youngest successfully talked the giant that they had found themselves falling next to into turning his life around. They were both giddy and having "aww moments", when he said, "You know, you little ones have taught me something about how violence never solves anything. I appreciate that. You two are now Grimbold's friends. You've touched my heart." Giant exploded. The enchantment was quite literal. The look of dawning horror on their faces was magical (to me). I still get a laugh out of saying, "Awww...bang!" to this day to her. Broke her both in and out of character.
@@NameIsDoc turning a wholesome moment into a horrifying realization of the enchantment on the poor giant would turn him into a pile of guts and body parts DOES sound like something from 8-bit theater. (Loved the comic, loved its dub as well.)
I want to share my story. So in my current campaign, we had a fight against a few orcs on the cliff of a mountain. Being the bard I polimorphed the orc's leader/magician into a snail. The party killed the rest of the orcs except one, who surrendered. At this point my character told the only survivor: "look, if you want us to let you go, all you need to do is to use my friends battle hammer as a bat, use this little snail as a golph ball, and try to hit the snail as far as possible off the cliff." BEST. KILL. EVER
Couple years ago Lmop. We're at the forge and realise the flames make any weapon magical. Crazy barbarian chick puts her fists into the flames... 1d6 fire damage. We're all disappointed but not about to give up. The group's eyes focus on the ranger's badger companion... That's when she started running with him clutched in her arms.
Me, the DM: "You have a console in front of you, laden with buttons. Any one could transport the entire citadel to an unknown plane." The druid, having _miserably_ failed his INT check: "Alright, I'll press the purple button..." Me: "You're going to do WHAT?" Druid: "Uh... maybe not." This went on for about fifteen minutes. I love throwing puzzles at my minmaxer players.
We were looking for a thief who stole magical ink to make magical tattoos. In the search we found a small fry named Elliot. He had this big ego and my Shadow Monk wasn't having any of it. When confronted, Elliot dismissed us out of hand. My Shadow Monk, smashed his head in against the casino table (we were in a pirate island). He tells us he'll take us to the thieves who took the maigcal ink. So just make sure he complies, I throw him to our resident Bloodhunter Werewolves and they eat one of his fingers. After we beat the guys, I offer Elliot a job and subsequently sell him into indentured servitude for 1000gp off of our ship repairs. Fun times. P.S. We still haven't made him the mechanical finger we promised him.
Combat orphan adoption. We were playing a "less than good" campaign. We would roll into every town and go find an orphanage. Then we would adopt the older meat barricad... Uhh, Children. We would use them for high velocity kinetic trap detection (by tossing them down suspicious hallways). Sonic boss distraction (by tossing their tiny panicked selves in front of the bosses). And as straight up murder midgets (by loosing swarms of now terror hardened children at everything).
@@crawdaunt5691 we poisoned half a planet and left it to die. It was an evil campaign. The best guy in our group was basically high fantasy the joker. We weren't trying to be heroes. At all.
My party tied up and interrogated a bandit leader and they all looked to my character, the chaotic evil rogue to kill him as to not sully their own hands(they repeatedly expected this all campaign.) So I summoned my Onyx dog, lifted it up Simba style and proceeded to bludgeon the guys skull in with the dog, look to the party and then ask "That about what you wanted? We good here?"
My Warlock discovered a rod that let them use flame spells via charges, and they loved having extra spell slots, and used it a lot. Some things are more flammable than others. We encountered a room in a cave with a corrupted cow, with a really big rot aura on it, as well as a bunch of poisons destined for the town water supply. We avoided the cow and grabbed a bit of the poison just in case we needed to devise an antidote. The artificer became extremely attached to the cow right away, naturally. Everyone was called away from the room by the monk running ahead and getting into a fight, and being the last out of the room, my Warlock decided to blow a charge and light the remaining poison on fire, rather than risk forgetting about it and having some tragedy happen later, before joining the fight. We came back after exploring the rest of the dungeon. The entire room was a roaring inferno, and my character had to lie about how the cow escaped and we sent them to a farm outside of town. Upon getting out to the outskirts, I rolled a random Animal Handling in private, crit, and managed to pass off a random cow as the one from the caves. The actual cow is rotting roast beef.
I saved a family from prison cells inside a dungeon. We all joined hands and I dual casted Chain Lightning through both my hands to loop both currents back into myself. Turned the family to ash and walked away with a new spiky hairdo.
I brought a high lvl cleric that was CE and everyone was confused when I became an op healbot..... until we needed to intimidate info. Oh I have expertise in that. Proceed to harm and torture them. And when he eventually dies laughing. I cast resurrection. And smile at him. "Oh don't worry my good sir. I wasn't done speaking with you yet." (Huge evil smile)
The players were all neighbors from no further away that six houses. 2/3 of us were adults, the other two were sixteen and seventeen years old. We were a mixed party exploring some tunnels under a castle. Tunnels, not caves. We could tell because the walls, roof and floors were flat surfaces. A ditch ran along the side of the tunnel to allow runoff of whatever fluids might wind up on the tunnel's floor. In one room we found some large, black eggs. Several of them, actually. It was decided that we would break one of the eggs open to find out what kind of monster had laid them. This we did. The hammer we used was destroyed, because of the acid that served as fluid surrounding the black dragon embryo in the egg. One of the other characters was splashed with the acid as well, and died of her wounds. It was decided that we would destroy all of the other eggs except one, which the only evil character, a female magic-user would carry back to our base and hatch and nurture so it could become her new companion. There already being a dead character, and not wanting to lose another tool in destroying the eggs, I decided to use the body of our erstwhile party member to destroy the other eggs, doing so much damage to the corpse that there would be zero chance or resurrecting the player-character. The female teen playing that character was not happy to find out she would have to roll up a new character. I was playing a Chaotic Good Cleric. And I was an adult. I should have known better than to destroy the corpse beyond reclamation. As a final insult, I put the remnants of the corpse into the run-off ditch in the tunnel outside that rookery so I wouldn't have to step in the offal in the ditch. I had to perform some good acts to offset the alignment damage or risk a permanent alignment change to chaotic evil over that nasty business. Update: Years later I reminded the player about the incident, and she said she had forgotten all about it and harbored no hard feelings. Like us, she thought it was hilarious.
Well my goblin skald, who happens to be a budding imperialist, killed an assassin that tried to kill him in the middle of the night, using his cohorts severed arm. He was trying to interrogate him by using the arm like a golf club on the assassin's 'boys'. Rolled a nat 20, and rolled max damage. Assassin dies of shock as his buddy's hand smacks him with the power of a pissed skald.
I'm a DM and this happened a few sessions ago. Backstory: one of my players did a survival roll to find ingredients for a healing potion, nat 1, found some shrooms that 'looked good' then filled a nat 20 on making the potion I thought nothing of it when my player asked to sell the potion, until he asked if he could get the merchant to drink it. A few persuasion rolls later and the merchant had 3 self inflicted dagger wounds and was wailing in pain begging for the potion, it healed him at first. After a moment he began to scream, continuously. The player ran and no one noticed him leave, but guards were on the way. It was so funny at the time, but in hindsight, horrifying
Am reminded of the time I imported a doom feather from gurps into a campaign and a player who was playing an angel ended up eating another player who held the doom feather....for those not familiar doom feather makes the holder of the feather appear tobe the tastiest most irresistible food to anything with wings....
I have a player that hits on all women, surprisingly, he is not a Bard, just those godamn rolls. Anyways, there will be a tiefling coming up, that if he takes the bait, will be put under a spell, this player hates My Little Pony, i dont. So in the spell he'll be put under a hallucigenic sleep in equestria, the longer he stays there, the more his sanity dropa, muahahaha
I think the darkest thing I did was from the first game I ever played. Warhammer fantasy roleplay used a occupation skill set up and I was playing a high intelligence evil dwarf doctor/physician. My int stat was so high by the end of the campaign I couldn't fail a check without rolling a critical failure, and the GM was quite generous with allowing ideas. So every town we went to and I had down time I would set up shop and begin to "heal" people, my success rate being near perfect, I honestly don't recall failing a check as a doctor, and collecting samples. The party then found a snotling nest where I took the foul creature and fed it all the putrid things I pulled out of people until it died, the mashed up the creatures body into a paste and waited for a chance to use it. We "had" to interrogate a person for information and silence the chap afterwards, so after burning off all his toes with acid and plucking a few finger nails I was pretty sure he was honest and wanted to have his honest opinion of my super paste! The GM described his face inverting as if all the air in his body was being sucked inwards from the pain and then his lower jaw turning to ash and crumbling in front of the party! It was a crowning achievement of nearly a years worth of experiments, and really showed the party what I could do! Shame the game fizzled out due to work and apathy
This happened my last session,so my party and I go to this small village after escaping an ice cave and killing a frosty the snow man boss, I used a home brew staff that turns into a tree golem with a permanent tiny hut house and fights like a hulk buster like thing (I didn’t ask for this .... it was given to me ) to avoid damage in the fight so I was fine, so while the group rested myself a 3 lvl wiz 2 lvl monk Minotaur who is 9 and our Druid went to sell off our loot in this small village.... this is where things get interesting... after a short argument with the shopkeeper the Druid killed the npc and tells me to put my staff outside, we proceed to strip the entire shop of everything....then the Druid proceeds to ask “can we steal the building to” Dm asks us to roll .... I get Nat 20 Druid got a 18 the Dm went “Ahem with the skill of a master carpenter you perfectly dismantled the shop and store it in your staff “ ...... yea we proceeded to do the same thing to the rest of the buildings in this small village .... we also kidnapped the villagers ..... good times
Not sure if this counts but we were playing a campaign in the underdark, having been hired by a king to make and establish some kind of trade route through. Unbeknownst to us, tensions were high between the two factions of the underdark, the goblins and hobgoblins and the kobolds and lizardfolk. Well really early on, some of our more foolish and impulsive actions sparked a war between these two factions, ending thousands of lives. So we ingratiated ourselves with the kobolds, them not realizing the war was our fault, and convinced them to help us get in with the lizardfolk. Then we used them to set up a meeting between the lizardfolk elders and the hobgoblin war chief in the hopes of ending the war we started. Me and my big fat overconfident tiefling rogue mouth challenged the war chief to a duel for command of his armies. But being slightly squishy, I convinced our paladin dwarf to fight. He got decimated. They didn’t even let us keep his body. They ate him. The war continued and we led countless more kobolds to their deaths. It was great
Had a bunch of new players. I was just starting to DM, but played for over a decade. One player wants his level 1 wizard to be an 80 year old man. So I set him up as a janitor at a local mage school. During the campaign, they were chasing a horse and cart and the old man tried to jump off of his horse and into the cart. Nat 1. Missed the jump, got foot hung on the tailgate and dragged through a field strewn with large rocks. A few Dex checks later, the old wizard catches one two many field rocks and is dragged to death.
In my DMs evil campaign our party had stolen an Airship, which attracted the attention of the other, non-evil party. They came after us and our groups fought. I killed one of them before getting jumped by a druid werebear(unrelated). The other party realised this wasn't going their way and tried to get out of there. Our wizard jumped off the airship to follow after them, and cone of colded an enemy pc in the face. It did enough damage to make them roll on the scar tale, leading their face getting frozen. Next round the wizard tore the nose off of her face and bamfed back up to the airship. Literally reached out and ripped her frozen nose off of her, while saying some one liner like "this is mine now" or something.
i was playing a pathfinder campaign as a dragonborn sorcerer. what happened is that i died with my brother, (elf ranger), and a tiny gnome rouge and a huge half orc barbarian had to carry us to the necromancer, wanting to take away 1 hp per level for our survival. imediatly after i get up, i see the necromancer, and charge up a magic missle and extend my claws. i fire the magic missle and he disspels it.
DM waited 2 years to throw a Titan at our party. He has a item in his stomach that we need I was playing a tiny sized Chaotic good UA Oath of the Watcher pixie paladin/swashbuckler rogue. DM...so um... whats going on down there..is there pants or ...DM: nope he's wearing a kilt and well...thats it. Me: cool so i'm tiny sized..so...i'm going to sneak and fly up to his ...ahem 'lower front entrance' ..DM: you....what? Me: think ant-man...but well...front end...so um how large in comparison is the opening and the 'corridor' DM: No, just no....you are not going go....Me: Yup we're doing it DM: cringing....okay but do a STR save vs him clenching....fails and gets stuck: Hokay so i can't move but i've got warcaster and have a teeny tiny bit of movement.... so i cast Moonbeam -inside- his penis....DM: ..................... takes a breath.... fails the save..So the Titan starts screaming in pain as light shoots out of his penis ...'why does this hurt so much????' he screams... the party and um every male player was horrified and forcibly removed the pixie from the Titan and apologised
I love these videos but I have a random question. do the ads that play at the start of most UA-cam videos make other people want to make angry comments about the ads or is it just me?
So, I once befriended a skeleton enemy named Dave and immediately after a wholesome moment where we became true friends, I convinced a Dave to lie down into a pit of acid so that my party could walk on him like a bridge across the pit. We almost left him behind too.
The infinite money trick... Druid turns into a horse. Rogue sells, Druid/Horse. Druid turns back into human form and rejoins party. Repeat in next town.
I told my friends I had a new campaign I wanted to DM for and asked if they wanted to play it. After they said yes, I gave them two weeks to think up and create characters they wanted to play with custom backgrounds they had to make up; ended up being delayed to three weeks because of work/colds. The only stipulation I made about the backgrounds was that their characters needed to be connected with someone who would basically be an NPC, positively or negatively, though they could have connections to the other PCs if they wanted. When the first session starts, however, I inform all the players that their characters are arrested and sentenced to death, some without trials, and are shipped off to a remote location so they can be executed via being thrown into a one-way portal that leads to a hell dimension; a creation that is widely known across the kingdom bringing awe and terror in equal measure. The PCs are shoved into the portal by the guards, and I tell the players to start rolling new characters based on the NPCs their original characters were connected to. My friends are surprised, some a bit hurt as we enjoy personalizing our characters, but they roll with it and we play out the rest of the session, even though this has some of the players acting against others. The second session begins and, to my friends' surprise, I start by repeating what I originally said at the beginning of the first session, only this time it follows the characters who are thrown into the one-way portal into the hell dimension of Avernum; a name I avoided using to prevent the twist from begin given away in case someone remembered the game's premise. I get pelted with several dice before the session ends as the twist is eventually realized and explained, leading to a lot of anger, smiles, and laughter. The campaign continued as sessions switched back and forth between the 'surface party' and the 'underground party', which was fairly easy to keep track of since we were able to meet weekly at this time, my friends playing two seemingly separate games, one of secret rebellion and one of survival exploration, that moved at the same pace in time. It created a very interesting meta as they wanted their characters to meet up, but with how things went in one session or another, reunions weren't seen as possible, so they might have to play one character who submitted to letting go of the past and settling for a new life while their second character held out hope and remained faithful. It only worked because we can be a RP heavy group sometimes and I worked things this way to test how good my friends could RP without breaking the meta.
I'm the DM and this happened in our most recent session. There was a crystal elemental NPC that I had intended my players to decapitate. She literally attacked them on sight. However, my players are somehow geniuses. Only two of the people in the party could even talk to her. Crystal NPC: *Keeps mentioning them potentially taking her head* Them: Let's convince her not to die! Me: What do you mean the bard used suggestion! Crap! Now she's fallen for suggestion. Gah! Crystal NPC: It's a DNA bound slot shaped like my head. You'll have to take my head. I ended up telling them that she was supposed to die. What do they do? They make it sadder and sadder by actively going against that and the NPC ends up biting her own hand to bleeding, rubbing her hand on her chin, and putting her head in the slot. I rolled a D100 to see if it would work and somehow it did. I think that I nearly made a few players cry then.
I once played a Chaotic Good illusionist wizard and we we're interrogating a bandit that had been part of a raid on a small town of which they stole someone of nobility, he wouldnt give in to any of our techniques so I told the others to wait outside. I then proceeded to cast Phantasmal Force and created the image of the bandit leader showing up and using his dagger to carve his name into his chest and threatening if he ever saw him again he would kill him, each letter for any time he wouldn't give me the information I requested. The party and mostly my DM questioned my alignment after that (he had forgotten) and I had to convince him that it was in good nature to get someone of importance back that I related with.
Hobo fight club. It was the first time playing DND for my brother and I, I was playing a half elf ranger and my brother chose to play a noble bard. Also in the party: a cleric who worshiped the god of booze, a barbarian with a habit of coming up with some hilarious ideas, a 10 inch tall gnome archer (rouge perhaps) who got choked by an enemy and had his skin turned permanently blue (his character was basically a smurf lol). So us noobs, brother and I, had just arrived in a city with basic equipment. We met up with the party and they wanted to see if they could show us around. We were low on gold and wanted to go out and kill some enemies to fix that. Our barbarian: I have a better idea! He runs off, we chase him, curious. We find him stopped in an alley. In the alley are also three homeless NPCs, I don’t recall the names of two of them but I remember the name of one, Elfis. Barbarian to the homeless men: “how would you like to make some gold?” All of them are interested: “what do we have to do?” Barbarian: It’s simple, you all fight to the death in a one on one on one. We will all bet on it and the winner will take a cut.” The homeless men are not happy about what he is suggesting, but the dm let’s him roll for persuasion. He gets a 17 or so, so the betting begins. I bet on Elfis, and the fight begins. The dm plays the rolls, Elfis gets hit first for minor damage but retaliates and hits one of the others for some decent damage, the other man gangs up on the damaged man and finishes him off. We are making a large amount of noise while watching this spectacle, that we don’t see a guard happen by. He gets curious and comes to see what’s going on. Guard is shocked to see a group cheering as homeless people are brutally murdering each other. Guard reaching for his weapon: “WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?!” Me: “Oh Sh**!” Bard: “busted” Drunken cleric: “(hiccup) It’s hobo fight club!! (Burp) Cmon you bastard, join in the fun!” Laughing DM: roll for persuasion Cleric: Nat 20 Hysterical laughter Not only did the guard join in, but he put a large bet on the the other homeless man as well. The fight continued, I wish I could say Elfis won, but nope. He got his head caved in. The cleric and guard took the pot and tossed the homeless man like 5 gp. We all walked out of the city and never went back.
Damn it's a shame the guy in the first story destroyed the statue, I was convinced his evil yet funny action would be to decide to just bring the statue with him and use it as house decoration
Um I've played the dark eye for almost three years and never perceived elves that way. Maybe it's just my group but they never talked about elves being described that way in the books either. Weird
Our Party had to set sail, but we had a dwarf in it and well.... they don't like open waters. So... the rest of our party had to knock him unconcious and drag him on the ship. Some time later he confronted me and the unnecessary discussion annoyed my character so i told the captain the blatant lie, that the dwarf wanted to start a mutiny to get back on land. He was keelhauled that day. Funfact: The first time my character has ever seen a clean dwarf.
Well, I was playing a zombie campaign that was based around decisions and not rolls. I heard a crash downstairs. It was a digital thing on an app I use quite often called mRPG. My DM said a "black can" was down there knocking glasses off of a table in the kitchen. He meant a black cat, but the misspelling made me think it was a zombie type. I shot it, it jumped off of the table, and died. I just stuck with it and laughed at the misunderstanding. I did attract a horde that I escaped by hopping out of a bedroom window and running into a city. I was just kicked out for not being on all day, but whatever, I still have that funny story to tell.
In my campaign there is a tiefling pc who HATES! wood elves (edgy back story or something) and the party had recently captured a wood elf wood carver, who they were interrogating for info on how to make totem golems, not getting anywhere, he fed the elf a fruit with hallucinogenic properties, he and the sea elf laughed as their prisoner tripped balls and vomited
In Carbon 2185, the cyberpunk gang I was in captured a nearly dead, high as balls Street Rat (gangster) and forcefully injected him with crush, which is basically hyper-cocaine, then force feed him an energy drink (which are toxic as fug), and finally then his brains out as he was seizing.
In our evil campaign, That time i got reincarnated as a fuckass warlock, I rolled a nat 20 to pick up a rock and throw it at a goblin, killing it. That rock was a soul gem/stone and it took the goblins soul. Later we found out that the goblin was named Gobwayne, because the DM was chill, and we called the rock Gobwayne "The Rock" Goblin
I misunderstood the ability of my players and sent 2 mind flayers on them. Nearly killed the Barbarian but the bard rolled high and made friends with the mind flayers, saving the party. All because I thought 2 mind flayers would be down in The Hole, duuunnn lol. Another time later, same group, they was in a temple with cultist using Invisibility so was having trouble finding them. The bard nat 20'd in Persuasion so a nat 30. All but the 2 leaders were persuaded to surrender. They played Uno with the bard as the rest checked out the temple to see if the artifact was still there lol. Those exploring fought an Earth elemental, barely won and another started to break free. That part of the party ran so fast and collapsed the doorway. Another temple the Warforge got a body for one of the fractured soul pieces and that ranger befriended a manticore. Named it Snuggles. Also befriended a bone naga. They were fighting undead and mimics along with 2 heads of the cult that wanted to free an evil god. My players had almost a zoo at the end lol.
Hi, D&D virgin here with questions. I feel like I've got enough knowledge about D&D (almost entirely thanks to RipCrew. Much love. Much thank) to start trying to find something I can take part in. Only problem is: 2020. I REALLY want to shoot my shot at it, I've got an overwhelming feeling that I'll love it and take it as seriously as I can. At least, taking the rules seriously and not getting put off of it when the Dice Gods and DM inevitably doom and destroy all I hold dear... Edit: I got stuck on the wording of the last sentence for so long I forgot that I didn't even ask a damn question. How do I get started given the state of the world at the moment? How do I find a group that's dedicated AND willing to accept a complete and utter noob into their ranks? AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN CAMPAIGNS THAT SPAN MONTHS AND YEARS thank you
Okay, there are ways (yes, plural) to get involved in D&D among other fantasy RPG's... It's as simple as a web search, depending on what (exactly) you want to play and how specifically picky you are. Don't be afraid to peruse other sources in the case that you have trouble "fitting in" at any first try. Mr Ripper has a section up in the Description (Doobley Doo) titled "Mr, Ripper's Socials" including the Discord they spoke about for all conversations D&D, so that's an easy start. Click and join up... RPGTableFinder.com has been set up by Guy Flanders over in "How to be a Great GM", and I've heard mixed results out of it. There's also Pathfinder, an entirely online RPG with virtual tables, and resources for you to get involved and it's very VERY much a "Digital D&D Knockoff". You might also consider (as only ever doing medieval fantasy can get boring) other systems like GURPS, TORPS, Cyberpunk, and so on... A Googling or two will likely find both "IRL" Table Top resources as well as the online Hosted Services, where you may find the more "niche" groups to be tighter knit and more tolerant for anyone new... As to keeping things straight over months and years... Jotting down notes is a good idea. For a given PC, there's always the Character Sheet and Inventory... sometimes more resources to keep tabs on growth, powers, spells, and what not... BUT a rudimentary journal can be as helpful to you as you are careful to update it... I'm used to playing "Marathon" sessions, so I've basically given up on all the details from one session to the next... BUT with the current majority, it seems 3 hours is a reasonable term of play, so you COULD also try recording each session so you can go back and "scrub" it for details that are pertinent to the adventure at hand at the very least, making sure you keep details as straight as necessary... Whatever the case to suit YOU, the better your notes are kept, the better your references back to what has gone on in the Game. The GM usually has his or her own notes, too. Their love of the Game and world/setting is such that they'll be able to lay out what's happened most of the time to a greater degree... BUT keeping your own notes is still a good idea, because nobody's perfect. Most of all, make the decision for yourself, that you are going in to HAVE FUN... AND as an ages old (from back in 1e days) Grognard, I'd like to WELCOME you to the greatest hobby on Earth! ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Holy crap. Dude. Was not at all expecting even half the reply you came with. Please know I'm keeping all of it for future reference because this answered all my questions, even the ones I had in my head but never even typed. Thanks Grognard. I'll always remember you as my first kinda unofficial internet D&D (edit: +more) mentor. -Hobsyllwin (old WoW name of my lvl87 druid before I stopped playing. Felt like it kinda fits right in here 😂) P.S. are you a fan of Artifexian? Or do other UA-camrs call the description the doobleydoo and I'm just completely unaware
@@AlexSmith-pj6ri Your quite welcome. Glad to be of help. Actually quite a few UA-camrs refer to the "Doobly Doo" including Hank and John Green (Vlogbrothers Channel) and Matt Coleville (another D&D channel)... I may have to check out Artifexian... AND no, I don't know who started it... only that it's been around since before I first signed up for Gmail... Game on! (as Game Methusela would say... ;o)
@@vizunalvarez883 Always welcome. Glad to give a figurative "leg up". I've been playing 30-odd years now... I still prefer a real Table and real Beers and friends and pizza... BUT covid... (lolz) Welcome to the GREATEST hobby in the world! ;o)
I had a druid that had a split personality/identity crisis. My dm would have me roll a will save randomly during sessions and if I failed I would have an “episode”. This was no regular split personality disorder though, oh no. My Druids mental disorder caused him to believe his original form was that of one of his wild shapes. Basically if I failed the save I panicked and didn’t know why I had wild shaped into a human and would panic. Rolling on a table I would randomly turn into whatever wild shape I thought my true self was. My dm was careful to only have me roll for it only once in a while when he deemed it comedic and not when we’d be in combat. Or at least most of the time he did. Until the incident. Long story short I wildshaped into a giant octopus in a small tunnel underground during a dungeon crawl and I crushed my three other party members, dealing enough damage to knock them unconscious. I failed will saves to realize I was having an episode three times in a row as two of my three allies failed all their death saves three times in a row as well. Tldr-bipolar druid turns into giant octopus underground and crushes half the party to death
I have been fascinated and have been reading D&D Books online (at the 5E Tools Website) so much that I could unintentionally "meta-game". Still, I hope the someday I can play this game in someone's campaign for real (of course, no meta gaming, pure reasonable RP). ... and now it looks like I can get closer to that goal someday.
Time shenanigans, My DM had us find ourselves in a desert but not just any desert and desert stuck in stasis. There was a war between some Teiflings and some religious racist. We came across a few of said racist only two of which where alive. One was the commander and another was a lone soilder that was stuck under a broken trebuchet. Instead of killing him for being a racist we realized that anyone who was still alive had no idea what year it’s been which had basically been a millennium or such. So we decided to tell the guy about time passing, racism ending, his family dying and nothing being left for him as he lives forever in a pointless meaningless life. We made the grown man cry, said our job is done here and left him pinned not dying and not living.
Not necessarily evil, but definitely unintentionally cruel. I'm currently playing a vengeance paladin and had my first session with the group. My character's background was a Smith's apprentice when his home was attacked, only survivor, yadda yadda. Well because of this my paladin wields a warhammer. Here's where it gets good. First encounter with the group it's just me, the monk, and the monk's pet magic tortoise (think squirtle) going against some bandits. My first attack i roll pretty high on hit and damage, no smite, and my dm goes to describe how my strike connects with his jaw sideways and tears it off, the bandit runs away in terror. The next target i close in on (all while taking fire from the rest of them) same thing happens except this time the dm asks me where I'm aiming my strike so if course i call a headshot, roll damage samething, took his jaw and fled in terror. Finally i close in on the leader and actually have a fierce duel with him, almost dying, all while the leader talks all kinds of smack about my character and paladins in general. Got a nat 20 just in time and looked my dm straight in the eye and tell him " i calmly tell the leader to shut up as a swing my hammer under hand aiming for his jaw. I use divine smite." rolled for damage and damnit if it didn't kill him and just crushed his jaw, he tried to run away but i got him with an opportunity attack. After the session my dm told that my character kept rolling just under lethal damage on all of his first strikes and the jaw was the first non immediate injury he could think of and kept falling back on it. We've now decided one of my character traits is a tendency to remove peoples jaws from them in a fight
We're in an Ilithid compound, prisoners. My good boy cleric gained favour with 4 foot tall Ilithid that needs protecting from his conniving brethren. As revenge for a slight, he was ordered to kill the favoured of another Ilithid. Being a 14th level cleric, the Ilithids all know that he can solo them. So when he showed up, the other Ilithid just walked away. His favoured was a night hag slave with her tongue cut out. Long story short: Hold Monster, grapple, pushed off the edge of a floating asteroid base in space. He said sorry the entire time, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
The cruelest thing I ever did as a DM was I killed one of my players' families because it was the only way to get him to go full power. Now, hr has gone from a sociopath to just a depressed, sad protagonist since his friend has gone from a psychopathic player to a psychopathic Lich BBEG
So a mix party of vagabonds had a mission to help clear some dwarves out of a evacuation site and back to town. Easy enough right? Help civilians, however they started getting rude to my "redcap" goblin barbarian. Now I'm not the smartest goblin and I tried for them to see reason to leave. The town mayor said so, a group of heavily armed adventurer's said so, a dragon on the fly, I even destroyed the statue they were studying to get them to move, no dice. Patience cut I put my scythe Pike to one of their necks, "move or I'll kill you" "Kill me" Took his head off. "His friends shock picka face" To make things even funnier our rogue tried to do some non lethal damage and knock one out but he rolled so high it nearly tripled the dwarf health so insta killed meanwhile our lawful good orc is struggling not to cut me down. Good laugh, good encounter with a bunch of stubborn dumb dwarves. It was so funny among us our dm tried to make us feel bad by having one of the dwarves family be huge with a mess of kids but I started going off on maybe that's why he wanted to die. What man wants to come home to six kids and a wife like that?
That time I accedently castrated an NPC... It was with my first ever character, I think it was the fourth or fifth game I’d ever played so I was green as can be and didn’t really know how squishy I was. I was playing a rogue who was a noble refugee from a far off city state who’d lost everything was and clinging to a broken system of honour. He quickly got the nickname the ‘randy rogue’ as he kept trying to chat up ANY NPC with breasts (so long as they were attractive) but anyway; Our group were in this seedy tavern down by the docks talking to former pirate smuggler NPC (A Mr Swann) to find out about a smuggling operation we’d been employed to help stop. He wasn’t giving much up to the others who were chatting to him over a pint (two of the other players knew him from their backstories) so I tried intimidating him at the table by playing with my dagger whilst very slowly and very loudly pouring water into a dish on the floor (I wanted to make him really need to go) and low and behold he suddenly DID need to pee, Thanks DM! He got up and went to the back room, I and another player, a water gensi pirate names ‘Swish’ got up to follow him, it was just going to be me but she wanted to come as she new him so I told her it was fine so long as she didn’t get in the way of what I needed to do (Wink wink). So we go in and Swann is standing at a urinal with his back to us, we go up to him one on each side and I decide to focus his attention by slipping my dagger between his legs and threatening a very sensitive and valuable area of his anatomy, whilst being all friendly; “Swanny! you know we’re really interested in that group you were talking about, don't suppose you remember any more about them?...”Swish was totally down for questioning him like this and playing the whole good pirate bad rogue line and that's when it happened! Swann goes and pull a knife out in a shaking hand; I’m a new character, he’s still got the shine on him and I’ve NEVER been in a fight before so I think CRAP! I’m in danger, got to get at a better distance to be safe SOOOOOOOO I step back and decide to get the first blood by just drawing my dagger crosswise, Just a little nick... I roll 18 and BAM! I just castrated ‘MR’ Swann. So he’s now standing in a pool of blood and urine and starts shouting and we need him to be quiet so Swish up and casts mould water and slaps him out cold with a wave from the urinal...then she casts heal wounds and he’s not bleeding any longer...but his assets are no longer attached. He woke up but wasn’t really in the mood to talk and just ran out the tavern. An artificer from our group ran after him to giving him some brass replacements down the street shouting ‘I CAN GIVE YOU BALLS!’ and I got a jar of brandy and kept the assets for use latter, I thought maybe we could hold them for ransom and offer to reattach them latter...I regret nothing XD
Our thief got caught and put in a chain gang. Freed him and my sorcerer used elemental rift to "Handle" the rest of the prisoners cuz we couldn't take care of them... Afterwards it was pointed out that they were adults who could have taken care of themselves. I nuked 30 harmless people.
Spoiler for Curse of Strahd. I was playing a CN githyanki battle mage later to multiclass into fighter. I used the mirror to try and kill babba it says and was turned neutral evil. When we got to one of the town I proceeded to almost kill a guard and make fun of all the mutt people. When we got to the temple I took almost every single power there was and became the biggest a-hole. I was now deaths angel and with the sword of light,25 strength, turning to good for the cleric to help train a wolf, and resurrecting the dragon. We killed strahd in 3 rounds and had his coffin on our shield guardians back. I now live there killing him and making it a ceremony every few months. Also the cleric lives with the dragon and we have the occasional game night. I also almost killed the sorcerer with cone of cold to kill a bunch of gargoyles.
So, this story was earlier in my current campaign. I’m playing a chaotic neutral cleric, who got his powers from eating a magical potato. I made him as a sort of joke character, and as part of his backstory he’s being hunted by this organization of vegans, called L.A.P.S. (Lovely Animal Protection Society) who are trying to save all animals from being eaten. Well, at one point, I got a precious staff stolen from me by this organization, and so of course I tried to track it down. I ended up interrogating one of the members, and I got some pretty high rolls on persuasion, and got the information I needed. But.... I wasn’t satisfied, I decided that the vegan needed to be punished... Me: “I want to use Command on him and force him to eat a fish” (We were in a tavern at the moment) DM: “You... what?” Me: “I want to use command on him and force him to eat a fish.” The guy got a Nat 1 on his saving throw, and so he was forced to break his sacred vows and consume the fish. My entire party burst out laughing at it all.
I threw some gnoll head down a narrow cave tunnel to lure out / try to convince the rest of the gnolls it would not end up in their favor. They laughed and threw back a human skull. So I went back and hacked two other gnoll heads off of the group we killed before and threw them down the tunnel too. This kinda enraged them and one came running towards me. It got killed from one of our casters while in melee with me and I tried to hack it's head off too but failed the roll. We nearly wiped that day but atleast I didn't loose in a game of decapitation chicken.
My party recently castrated a 20-30ft cyclops. The warlock combined his eldritch blast with some bottles of semen[He collected it earlier in the game in vilas, it also came from a fire based sorcerer so fun :)] Anyways with the attack of the semen being combined with his blast his burned of the poor cyclops private part via a acidy-fiery substance. Honestly did not expect the first boss they went against for the campaign to go down due to that. (Our fighter finished the mini boss short after that) Let's just that that was definitely an interesting session
Yes. But the ones that don't exist as well. I would go to your local public library and ask, or check the community board (my library has an actual cork board where library patrons post notices. Also, my local bookstore (there's only one in my town), has a game night (on alternate Wednesdays) where several tables are set up for AD&D gaming. I would think you should be able to find a beginner's table in a set up like that, if such exists in your town.
We had just defeated a sea serpent and were looting its hoard. The resident main NPC companion found a genie bottle and expressed his desire to use the wishes to get home and live happily with his wife. So he held onto the bottle while he thought about what he was going to wish for. I was playing a Swashbuckler Rogue, and Lurker of the Deep Warlock Mimic-kin. Her Kraken patron kept pushing her to steal the bottle for her to use, and with her low intelligence and wisdom, she listened. She stole the bottle and retreated into her quarters (despite her intelligence, she became captain of the ship). She wished for 3 things. 1. A fleet that could rival the BBEG. And so she got an undead fleet under her sole control. For the second wish, her Patron kept pushing her to wish him greater power or release from his prison. But she wanted to save the wish for the NPC. He got madder and madder, and in a panic she wished "I wish Kahuna was here in *person*!" And as genies do, her patron appeared... as a powerless human. A person. And then her third wish was to release the genie, because the genie girl was actually really nice. The NPC was mad because my character took what would have been a happy future from him. It was intense and hilarious at the same time, mainly due to the fact she could no longer gain levels as a Warlock.
Whoa, WAIT. Elves in "The Dark Eye" are not Assholes - quite the opposite. That described behaviour is against mostly EVERYTHING the Rules say about Elves. They live by something you could see as "Code of Natural Harmony" - also, they are basically Bisexual (yes, they do not differ between Men or Women in ANY Kind, but they are also NOT "Transsexual Pervdolls"); even if Humany use the Term "Elvish" as Synonym for "Gay". Their View on the World is that everything has its natural place and order and they have a instinctive Feel for it - they simply do not come to think something like "I want to do anything different!" as they always do what they want to do (Kinda like Cats). The Reason for them to oppose "Humans" is when they disturb the "Harmony" (which is quite easy to do by ... just beeing a Human). Otherwise, they normally seek to find a "mutual Agreement" - obsessively. Also, they are quite blunt and direct in their Approaches - the concept of "lying" is something they do not get easily; takes Years for them to understand it. But, they Kill Humans under some Circumstances and can be fairly brutal and gory as well when fighting (Depends on the Tribe and the individual Personality). Thoose circumstance can be that a Human enters a Part of Land the Elve consider "under his Protection" and the other one as "Intruder". This way, an Animal like a Tiger or Wolf would fight and kill without hesitation or remorse - thus do Elves. But, there will be no hatred or similar feelings towards the Victim. If this is disturbed, thoose "Elves" get banished from their Tribes, loose the Bonds to them and such - which is so horrific for them, they mostly simply die from it. It is their Soul now beeing tarnished cutting the Bond, not some "political sceme". And thoose who survive or had more "human" than elvish Traits in their Char can not connect properly. Thoose ones are severly traumatized and thus can be considred as "totally nuts". Think Anakin becoming Darth Vader. But, an "untarnished" Elve from the Woodelve-Tribe can turn into a Panther and kill some Humans, even eating their Guts without getting "tarnished", as he does it with the innocence of a Panther. He is the "Hunter", you are "Prey" - period. Also, his Combat Behaviour can surpass Conan the Barbarian in "Cruelty" according for Human Standards - because, if you do it, it is your "Lifes Path" do be that way (Fighter for example) and thus you fight - like a wild Animal would do. If you are a Diplomat, you do not fight - you ask others to do. And believe me, even a Rabbit gets horrific if it is inside of your Plate Armors Pants. And maybe his Friend "Borky" the Tree seeks to strangle you. Oh, and one more Thing: Elves do not "steal", they simply do not get the Concept of "personal Posession" - everything is for everyone. Either you are god enugh to get to your Goals or you fail, may it be due lack of Ability or because someone else was better (They do not get salty!). So, for D&D, you could say, they are mostly "Communist-Hippie-Druids" or "Fallen Communist-Hippie-Druids".
Sooo I tried to knock a guard out but failed so I tied him up and to keep him from shouting I stuffed (the only cloth I could find) his under ware in his mouth
The barbarian, paladin and fighter kept punting the Kobold to each other like it was a soccer practice in elementary school
Lmaooo I could see my party doing something like this
My daughters and I were playing a homebrew campaign based on the web comic "8-bit Theater". I, as DM, had them following in the steps of the "heroes" of said comic. When they reached Elfland, they had to deal with having giants launched at them. From cannons. Giants that were enchanted to explode violently if they were touched by anything other than themselves. Unfortunately for the girls, they, too, were flying through the air at the time (after having been launched by a catapult). My youngest successfully talked the giant that they had found themselves falling next to into turning his life around. They were both giddy and having "aww moments", when he said, "You know, you little ones have taught me something about how violence never solves anything. I appreciate that. You two are now Grimbold's friends. You've touched my heart."
Giant exploded. The enchantment was quite literal. The look of dawning horror on their faces was magical (to me). I still get a laugh out of saying, "Awww...bang!" to this day to her. Broke her both in and out of character.
Oh God that is a 8 bit theater worthy joke. Red mage and black mage would be proud.
@@NameIsDoc turning a wholesome moment into a horrifying realization of the enchantment on the poor giant would turn him into a pile of guts and body parts DOES sound like something from 8-bit theater. (Loved the comic, loved its dub as well.)
I want to share my story.
So in my current campaign, we had a fight against a few orcs on the cliff of a mountain. Being the bard I polimorphed the orc's leader/magician into a snail. The party killed the rest of the orcs except one, who surrendered. At this point my character told the only survivor: "look, if you want us to let you go, all you need to do is to use my friends battle hammer as a bat, use this little snail as a golph ball, and try to hit the snail as far as possible off the cliff."
BEST. KILL. EVER
Couple years ago Lmop. We're at the forge and realise the flames make any weapon magical.
Crazy barbarian chick puts her fists into the flames... 1d6 fire damage. We're all disappointed but not about to give up. The group's eyes focus on the ranger's badger companion...
That's when she started running with him clutched in her arms.
Me, the DM: "You have a console in front of you, laden with buttons. Any one could transport the entire citadel to an unknown plane."
The druid, having _miserably_ failed his INT check: "Alright, I'll press the purple button..."
Me: "You're going to do WHAT?"
Druid: "Uh... maybe not."
This went on for about fifteen minutes. I love throwing puzzles at my minmaxer players.
“They were debating what to do with the p*mp’s soul.” 🤣🤣🤣
I just love Daves unadulterated love and affection he gives at the end of the vids. Gives me all the warm and fuzzies.
WE LOVE YOU DAVE!
I love you
Castrated a Cyclops midbattle... and he survived. Cast out of his society
We were looking for a thief who stole magical ink to make magical tattoos. In the search we found a small fry named Elliot. He had this big ego and my Shadow Monk wasn't having any of it. When confronted, Elliot dismissed us out of hand. My Shadow Monk, smashed his head in against the casino table (we were in a pirate island). He tells us he'll take us to the thieves who took the maigcal ink. So just make sure he complies, I throw him to our resident Bloodhunter Werewolves and they eat one of his fingers. After we beat the guys, I offer Elliot a job and subsequently sell him into indentured servitude for 1000gp off of our ship repairs. Fun times.
P.S. We still haven't made him the mechanical finger we promised him.
Combat orphan adoption.
We were playing a "less than good" campaign.
We would roll into every town and go find an orphanage. Then we would adopt the older meat barricad... Uhh, Children.
We would use them for high velocity kinetic trap detection (by tossing them down suspicious hallways).
Sonic boss distraction (by tossing their tiny panicked selves in front of the bosses).
And as straight up murder midgets (by loosing swarms of now terror hardened children at everything).
Nazi plus vietcong like tactics Good.
@@Deagle-q5h honestly... We were probably worse. It was a pretty grimdark setting
Genius
@@hogfry That isn’t funny, you’re just literally Hitler.
@@crawdaunt5691 we poisoned half a planet and left it to die. It was an evil campaign. The best guy in our group was basically high fantasy the joker. We weren't trying to be heroes. At all.
I dropped the deck of many things and the rogue of all people lost all of his nonmagical equipment
My party tied up and interrogated a bandit leader and they all looked to my character, the chaotic evil rogue to kill him as to not sully their own hands(they repeatedly expected this all campaign.) So I summoned my Onyx dog, lifted it up Simba style and proceeded to bludgeon the guys skull in with the dog, look to the party and then ask "That about what you wanted? We good here?"
Did the dog die too? I'd expect getting bashed into a guy's head until it was caved in wouldn't be healthy.
@@aesiro1336 Nahh dog was Onyx stone, wasn't enough damage to de-summon him.
@@Kushrada Ah. Good. We don't need fantasy Old Yeller.
My Warlock discovered a rod that let them use flame spells via charges, and they loved having extra spell slots, and used it a lot.
Some things are more flammable than others.
We encountered a room in a cave with a corrupted cow, with a really big rot aura on it, as well as a bunch of poisons destined for the town water supply. We avoided the cow and grabbed a bit of the poison just in case we needed to devise an antidote. The artificer became extremely attached to the cow right away, naturally.
Everyone was called away from the room by the monk running ahead and getting into a fight, and being the last out of the room, my Warlock decided to blow a charge and light the remaining poison on fire, rather than risk forgetting about it and having some tragedy happen later, before joining the fight.
We came back after exploring the rest of the dungeon. The entire room was a roaring inferno, and my character had to lie about how the cow escaped and we sent them to a farm outside of town. Upon getting out to the outskirts, I rolled a random Animal Handling in private, crit, and managed to pass off a random cow as the one from the caves.
The actual cow is rotting roast beef.
The red progress bar above the posts doesn't fully fill up when the story ends
Twist, it's done on purpose
We have an imposter
I saved a family from prison cells inside a dungeon. We all joined hands and I dual casted Chain Lightning through both my hands to loop both currents back into myself. Turned the family to ash and walked away with a new spiky hairdo.
I brought a high lvl cleric that was CE and everyone was confused when I became an op healbot..... until we needed to intimidate info.
Oh I have expertise in that.
Proceed to harm and torture them. And when he eventually dies laughing. I cast resurrection. And smile at him.
"Oh don't worry my good sir. I wasn't done speaking with you yet." (Huge evil smile)
Fun
I'm not gonna lie. The voices for that first story had me laughing so hard I thought I was gonna puke.
My casual playgroup did the Rick and Morty Campaign, and I told a Meseeks that it’s task was to watch a man live his life and he couldn’t interfere
4:32 I love this story for some reason.
I'm partial to the "cast Magic Mouth to make their weapons belittle them" idea.
RIP Clarra
The players were all neighbors from no further away that six houses. 2/3 of us were adults, the other two were sixteen and seventeen years old.
We were a mixed party exploring some tunnels under a castle. Tunnels, not caves. We could tell because the walls, roof and floors were flat surfaces. A ditch ran along the side of the tunnel to allow runoff of whatever fluids might wind up on the tunnel's floor.
In one room we found some large, black eggs. Several of them, actually. It was decided that we would break one of the eggs open to find out what kind of monster had laid them. This we did. The hammer we used was destroyed, because of the acid that served as fluid surrounding the black dragon embryo
in the egg. One of the other characters was splashed with the acid as well, and died of her wounds.
It was decided that we would destroy all of the other eggs except one, which the only evil character, a female magic-user would carry back to our base and hatch and nurture so it could become her new companion.
There already being a dead character, and not wanting to lose another tool in destroying the eggs, I decided to use the body of our erstwhile party member to destroy the other eggs, doing so much damage to the corpse that there would be zero chance or resurrecting the player-character.
The female teen playing that character was not happy to find out she would have to roll up a new character.
I was playing a Chaotic Good Cleric. And I was an adult. I should have known better than to destroy the corpse beyond reclamation.
As a final insult, I put the remnants of the corpse into the run-off ditch in the tunnel outside that rookery so I wouldn't have to step in the offal in the ditch.
I had to perform some good acts to offset the alignment damage or risk a permanent alignment change to chaotic evil over that nasty business.
Update: Years later I reminded the player about the incident, and she said she had forgotten all about it and harbored no hard feelings. Like us, she thought it was hilarious.
love your voices, dave. you are truly a master. keep up the great work.
that is so nice of you to say thank you
Well my goblin skald, who happens to be a budding imperialist, killed an assassin that tried to kill him in the middle of the night, using his cohorts severed arm. He was trying to interrogate him by using the arm like a golf club on the assassin's 'boys'. Rolled a nat 20, and rolled max damage. Assassin dies of shock as his buddy's hand smacks him with the power of a pissed skald.
I'm a DM and this happened a few sessions ago. Backstory: one of my players did a survival roll to find ingredients for a healing potion, nat 1, found some shrooms that 'looked good' then filled a nat 20 on making the potion
I thought nothing of it when my player asked to sell the potion, until he asked if he could get the merchant to drink it.
A few persuasion rolls later and the merchant had 3 self inflicted dagger wounds and was wailing in pain begging for the potion, it healed him at first.
After a moment he began to scream, continuously. The player ran and no one noticed him leave, but guards were on the way.
It was so funny at the time, but in hindsight, horrifying
Am reminded of the time I imported a doom feather from gurps into a campaign and a player who was playing an angel ended up eating another player who held the doom feather....for those not familiar doom feather makes the holder of the feather appear tobe the tastiest most irresistible food to anything with wings....
I have a player that hits on all women, surprisingly, he is not a Bard, just those godamn rolls. Anyways, there will be a tiefling coming up, that if he takes the bait, will be put under a spell, this player hates My Little Pony, i dont. So in the spell he'll be put under a hallucigenic sleep in equestria, the longer he stays there, the more his sanity dropa, muahahaha
That is the most beautiful evil thing I’ve read in a while.
That is diabolical XD
I think the darkest thing I did was from the first game I ever played.
Warhammer fantasy roleplay used a occupation skill set up and I was playing a high intelligence evil dwarf doctor/physician. My int stat was so high by the end of the campaign I couldn't fail a check without rolling a critical failure, and the GM was quite generous with allowing ideas. So every town we went to and I had down time I would set up shop and begin to "heal" people, my success rate being near perfect, I honestly don't recall failing a check as a doctor, and collecting samples.
The party then found a snotling nest where I took the foul creature and fed it all the putrid things I pulled out of people until it died, the mashed up the creatures body into a paste and waited for a chance to use it. We "had" to interrogate a person for information and silence the chap afterwards, so after burning off all his toes with acid and plucking a few finger nails I was pretty sure he was honest and wanted to have his honest opinion of my super paste!
The GM described his face inverting as if all the air in his body was being sucked inwards from the pain and then his lower jaw turning to ash and crumbling in front of the party!
It was a crowning achievement of nearly a years worth of experiments, and really showed the party what I could do! Shame the game fizzled out due to work and apathy
my newest character used heat metal to melt the chains on a drawbridge sending a group of bbeg henchmen on an unplanned swim
That first voice sounds like Barbus,Clavicus Viles pet dog from Skyrim!😊😊😊
This happened my last session,so my party and I go to this small village after escaping an ice cave and killing a frosty the snow man boss, I used a home brew staff that turns into a tree golem with a permanent tiny hut house and fights like a hulk buster like thing (I didn’t ask for this .... it was given to me ) to avoid damage in the fight so I was fine, so while the group rested myself a 3 lvl wiz 2 lvl monk Minotaur who is 9 and our Druid went to sell off our loot in this small village.... this is where things get interesting... after a short argument with the shopkeeper the Druid killed the npc and tells me to put my staff outside, we proceed to strip the entire shop of everything....then the Druid proceeds to ask “can we steal the building to” Dm asks us to roll .... I get Nat 20 Druid got a 18 the Dm went “Ahem with the skill of a master carpenter you perfectly dismantled the shop and store it in your staff “ ...... yea we proceeded to do the same thing to the rest of the buildings in this small village .... we also kidnapped the villagers ..... good times
Not sure if this counts but we were playing a campaign in the underdark, having been hired by a king to make and establish some kind of trade route through. Unbeknownst to us, tensions were high between the two factions of the underdark, the goblins and hobgoblins and the kobolds and lizardfolk. Well really early on, some of our more foolish and impulsive actions sparked a war between these two factions, ending thousands of lives. So we ingratiated ourselves with the kobolds, them not realizing the war was our fault, and convinced them to help us get in with the lizardfolk. Then we used them to set up a meeting between the lizardfolk elders and the hobgoblin war chief in the hopes of ending the war we started. Me and my big fat overconfident tiefling rogue mouth challenged the war chief to a duel for command of his armies. But being slightly squishy, I convinced our paladin dwarf to fight. He got decimated. They didn’t even let us keep his body. They ate him. The war continued and we led countless more kobolds to their deaths. It was great
Thank you for making good and funny videos.
0:02 "we're gonna jump right into this" *proceeds to talk for a whole another minute for no reason*
I'm also guilty of this sin, forgive me lol.
Had a bunch of new players. I was just starting to DM, but played for over a decade. One player wants his level 1 wizard to be an 80 year old man. So I set him up as a janitor at a local mage school. During the campaign, they were chasing a horse and cart and the old man tried to jump off of his horse and into the cart. Nat 1. Missed the jump, got foot hung on the tailgate and dragged through a field strewn with large rocks. A few Dex checks later, the old wizard catches one two many field rocks and is dragged to death.
In my DMs evil campaign our party had stolen an Airship, which attracted the attention of the other, non-evil party. They came after us and our groups fought. I killed one of them before getting jumped by a druid werebear(unrelated). The other party realised this wasn't going their way and tried to get out of there.
Our wizard jumped off the airship to follow after them, and cone of colded an enemy pc in the face. It did enough damage to make them roll on the scar tale, leading their face getting frozen. Next round the wizard tore the nose off of her face and bamfed back up to the airship. Literally reached out and ripped her frozen nose off of her, while saying some one liner like "this is mine now" or something.
If one of my teammates die, I plan on turning their body into a homunculus (I'm doing an artificer)
i was playing a pathfinder campaign as a dragonborn sorcerer. what happened is that i died with my brother, (elf ranger), and a tiny gnome rouge and a huge half orc barbarian had to carry us to the necromancer, wanting to take away 1 hp per level for our survival. imediatly after i get up, i see the necromancer, and charge up a magic missle and extend my claws. i fire the magic missle and he disspels it.
Dave makes noises, the hot nugs of Dnd
The hot nugs and the ranch that calms them
DM waited 2 years to throw a Titan at our party. He has a item in his stomach that we need I was playing a tiny sized Chaotic good UA Oath of the Watcher pixie paladin/swashbuckler rogue. DM...so um... whats going on down there..is there pants or ...DM: nope he's wearing a kilt and well...thats it. Me: cool so i'm tiny sized..so...i'm going to sneak and fly up to his ...ahem 'lower front entrance' ..DM: you....what? Me: think ant-man...but well...front end...so um how large in comparison is the opening and the 'corridor' DM: No, just no....you are not going go....Me: Yup we're doing it DM: cringing....okay but do a STR save vs him clenching....fails and gets stuck: Hokay so i can't move but i've got warcaster and have a teeny tiny bit of movement.... so i cast Moonbeam -inside- his penis....DM: ..................... takes a breath.... fails the save..So the Titan starts screaming in pain as light shoots out of his penis ...'why does this hurt so much????' he screams... the party and um every male player was horrified and forcibly removed the pixie from the Titan and apologised
I love these videos but I have a random question. do the ads that play at the start of most UA-cam videos make other people want to make angry comments about the ads or is it just me?
So, I once befriended a skeleton enemy named Dave and immediately after a wholesome moment where we became true friends, I convinced a Dave to lie down into a pit of acid so that my party could walk on him like a bridge across the pit. We almost left him behind too.
The infinite money trick...
Druid turns into a horse.
Rogue sells, Druid/Horse.
Druid turns back into human form and rejoins party.
Repeat in next town.
I told my friends I had a new campaign I wanted to DM for and asked if they wanted to play it. After they said yes, I gave them two weeks to think up and create characters they wanted to play with custom backgrounds they had to make up; ended up being delayed to three weeks because of work/colds. The only stipulation I made about the backgrounds was that their characters needed to be connected with someone who would basically be an NPC, positively or negatively, though they could have connections to the other PCs if they wanted. When the first session starts, however, I inform all the players that their characters are arrested and sentenced to death, some without trials, and are shipped off to a remote location so they can be executed via being thrown into a one-way portal that leads to a hell dimension; a creation that is widely known across the kingdom bringing awe and terror in equal measure. The PCs are shoved into the portal by the guards, and I tell the players to start rolling new characters based on the NPCs their original characters were connected to. My friends are surprised, some a bit hurt as we enjoy personalizing our characters, but they roll with it and we play out the rest of the session, even though this has some of the players acting against others.
The second session begins and, to my friends' surprise, I start by repeating what I originally said at the beginning of the first session, only this time it follows the characters who are thrown into the one-way portal into the hell dimension of Avernum; a name I avoided using to prevent the twist from begin given away in case someone remembered the game's premise. I get pelted with several dice before the session ends as the twist is eventually realized and explained, leading to a lot of anger, smiles, and laughter. The campaign continued as sessions switched back and forth between the 'surface party' and the 'underground party', which was fairly easy to keep track of since we were able to meet weekly at this time, my friends playing two seemingly separate games, one of secret rebellion and one of survival exploration, that moved at the same pace in time. It created a very interesting meta as they wanted their characters to meet up, but with how things went in one session or another, reunions weren't seen as possible, so they might have to play one character who submitted to letting go of the past and settling for a new life while their second character held out hope and remained faithful. It only worked because we can be a RP heavy group sometimes and I worked things this way to test how good my friends could RP without breaking the meta.
8:48 Little did Dave know the player was running a home brew demihuman based on Rouge the Bat.
Thanks I hate it
I'm the DM and this happened in our most recent session.
There was a crystal elemental NPC that I had intended my players to decapitate. She literally attacked them on sight. However, my players are somehow geniuses. Only two of the people in the party could even talk to her.
Crystal NPC: *Keeps mentioning them potentially taking her head*
Them: Let's convince her not to die!
Me: What do you mean the bard used suggestion! Crap! Now she's fallen for suggestion. Gah!
Crystal NPC: It's a DNA bound slot shaped like my head. You'll have to take my head.
I ended up telling them that she was supposed to die. What do they do? They make it sadder and sadder by actively going against that and the NPC ends up biting her own hand to bleeding, rubbing her hand on her chin, and putting her head in the slot. I rolled a D100 to see if it would work and somehow it did. I think that I nearly made a few players cry then.
I once played a Chaotic Good illusionist wizard and we we're interrogating a bandit that had been part of a raid on a small town of which they stole someone of nobility, he wouldnt give in to any of our techniques so I told the others to wait outside. I then proceeded to cast Phantasmal Force and created the image of the bandit leader showing up and using his dagger to carve his name into his chest and threatening if he ever saw him again he would kill him, each letter for any time he wouldn't give me the information I requested. The party and mostly my DM questioned my alignment after that (he had forgotten) and I had to convince him that it was in good nature to get someone of importance back that I related with.
Hobo fight club. It was the first time playing DND for my brother and I, I was playing a half elf ranger and my brother chose to play a noble bard. Also in the party: a cleric who worshiped the god of booze, a barbarian with a habit of coming up with some hilarious ideas, a 10 inch tall gnome archer (rouge perhaps) who got choked by an enemy and had his skin turned permanently blue (his character was basically a smurf lol).
So us noobs, brother and I, had just arrived in a city with basic equipment. We met up with the party and they wanted to see if they could show us around. We were low on gold and wanted to go out and kill some enemies to fix that. Our barbarian: I have a better idea!
He runs off, we chase him, curious. We find him stopped in an alley. In the alley are also three homeless NPCs, I don’t recall the names of two of them but I remember the name of one, Elfis.
Barbarian to the homeless men: “how would you like to make some gold?”
All of them are interested: “what do we have to do?”
Barbarian: It’s simple, you all fight to the death in a one on one on one. We will all bet on it and the winner will take a cut.”
The homeless men are not happy about what he is suggesting, but the dm let’s him roll for persuasion. He gets a 17 or so, so the betting begins. I bet on Elfis, and the fight begins. The dm plays the rolls, Elfis gets hit first for minor damage but retaliates and hits one of the others for some decent damage, the other man gangs up on the damaged man and finishes him off. We are making a large amount of noise while watching this spectacle, that we don’t see a guard happen by. He gets curious and comes to see what’s going on.
Guard is shocked to see a group cheering as homeless people are brutally murdering each other.
Guard reaching for his weapon: “WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?!”
Me: “Oh Sh**!”
Bard: “busted”
Drunken cleric: “(hiccup) It’s hobo fight club!! (Burp) Cmon you bastard, join in the fun!”
Laughing
DM: roll for persuasion
Cleric: Nat 20
Hysterical laughter
Not only did the guard join in, but he put a large bet on the the other homeless man as well. The fight continued, I wish I could say Elfis won, but nope. He got his head caved in. The cleric and guard took the pot and tossed the homeless man like 5 gp. We all walked out of the city and never went back.
MR ripper the best
I like how his default DM voice is Master Chief
Damn it's a shame the guy in the first story destroyed the statue, I was convinced his evil yet funny action would be to decide to just bring the statue with him and use it as house decoration
DAVE DAVE DAVE DAVE!!!
Yes yes yes yes
Um I've played the dark eye for almost three years and never perceived elves that way. Maybe it's just my group but they never talked about elves being described that way in the books either. Weird
Our Party had to set sail, but we had a dwarf in it and well.... they don't like open waters.
So... the rest of our party had to knock him unconcious and drag him on the ship.
Some time later he confronted me and the unnecessary discussion annoyed my character so i told the captain the blatant lie, that the dwarf wanted to start a mutiny to get back on land. He was keelhauled that day. Funfact: The first time my character has ever seen a clean dwarf.
My current character, a death domain cleric, likes to ripe out the heart of enemies and turn them into zombies
Well, I was playing a zombie campaign that was based around decisions and not rolls. I heard a crash downstairs. It was a digital thing on an app I use quite often called mRPG. My DM said a "black can" was down there knocking glasses off of a table in the kitchen. He meant a black cat, but the misspelling made me think it was a zombie type. I shot it, it jumped off of the table, and died. I just stuck with it and laughed at the misunderstanding. I did attract a horde that I escaped by hopping out of a bedroom window and running into a city. I was just kicked out for not being on all day, but whatever, I still have that funny story to tell.
Statue has a stereotypically Jewish voice
Character: do you have any gold?
Bruh
In my campaign there is a tiefling pc who HATES! wood elves (edgy back story or something) and the party had recently captured a wood elf wood carver, who they were interrogating for info on how to make totem golems, not getting anywhere, he fed the elf a fruit with hallucinogenic properties, he and the sea elf laughed as their prisoner tripped balls and vomited
In Carbon 2185, the cyberpunk gang I was in captured a nearly dead, high as balls Street Rat (gangster) and forcefully injected him with crush, which is basically hyper-cocaine, then force feed him an energy drink (which are toxic as fug), and finally then his brains out as he was seizing.
Poor Mort Goldman, getting turned into a statue...
In our evil campaign, That time i got reincarnated as a fuckass warlock, I rolled a nat 20 to pick up a rock and throw it at a goblin, killing it. That rock was a soul gem/stone and it took the goblins soul. Later we found out that the goblin was named Gobwayne, because the DM was chill, and we called the rock Gobwayne "The Rock" Goblin
Most dnd conversation
Npc: Do it out of the kindness of your heart?
Pc: Eh
I misunderstood the ability of my players and sent 2 mind flayers on them. Nearly killed the Barbarian but the bard rolled high and made friends with the mind flayers, saving the party. All because I thought 2 mind flayers would be down in The Hole, duuunnn lol. Another time later, same group, they was in a temple with cultist using Invisibility so was having trouble finding them. The bard nat 20'd in Persuasion so a nat 30. All but the 2 leaders were persuaded to surrender. They played Uno with the bard as the rest checked out the temple to see if the artifact was still there lol. Those exploring fought an Earth elemental, barely won and another started to break free. That part of the party ran so fast and collapsed the doorway. Another temple the Warforge got a body for one of the fractured soul pieces and that ranger befriended a manticore. Named it Snuggles. Also befriended a bone naga. They were fighting undead and mimics along with 2 heads of the cult that wanted to free an evil god. My players had almost a zoo at the end lol.
Hi, D&D virgin here with questions.
I feel like I've got enough knowledge about D&D (almost entirely thanks to RipCrew. Much love. Much thank) to start trying to find something I can take part in. Only problem is: 2020.
I REALLY want to shoot my shot at it, I've got an overwhelming feeling that I'll love it and take it as seriously as I can. At least, taking the rules seriously and not getting put off of it when the Dice Gods and DM inevitably doom and destroy all I hold dear...
Edit: I got stuck on the wording of the last sentence for so long I forgot that I didn't even ask a damn question.
How do I get started given the state of the world at the moment? How do I find a group that's dedicated AND willing to accept a complete and utter noob into their ranks? AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN CAMPAIGNS THAT SPAN MONTHS AND YEARS
thank you
Okay, there are ways (yes, plural) to get involved in D&D among other fantasy RPG's... It's as simple as a web search, depending on what (exactly) you want to play and how specifically picky you are. Don't be afraid to peruse other sources in the case that you have trouble "fitting in" at any first try.
Mr Ripper has a section up in the Description (Doobley Doo) titled "Mr, Ripper's Socials" including the Discord they spoke about for all conversations D&D, so that's an easy start. Click and join up...
RPGTableFinder.com has been set up by Guy Flanders over in "How to be a Great GM", and I've heard mixed results out of it.
There's also Pathfinder, an entirely online RPG with virtual tables, and resources for you to get involved and it's very VERY much a "Digital D&D Knockoff".
You might also consider (as only ever doing medieval fantasy can get boring) other systems like GURPS, TORPS, Cyberpunk, and so on... A Googling or two will likely find both "IRL" Table Top resources as well as the online Hosted Services, where you may find the more "niche" groups to be tighter knit and more tolerant for anyone new...
As to keeping things straight over months and years... Jotting down notes is a good idea. For a given PC, there's always the Character Sheet and Inventory... sometimes more resources to keep tabs on growth, powers, spells, and what not... BUT a rudimentary journal can be as helpful to you as you are careful to update it...
I'm used to playing "Marathon" sessions, so I've basically given up on all the details from one session to the next... BUT with the current majority, it seems 3 hours is a reasonable term of play, so you COULD also try recording each session so you can go back and "scrub" it for details that are pertinent to the adventure at hand at the very least, making sure you keep details as straight as necessary... Whatever the case to suit YOU, the better your notes are kept, the better your references back to what has gone on in the Game.
The GM usually has his or her own notes, too. Their love of the Game and world/setting is such that they'll be able to lay out what's happened most of the time to a greater degree... BUT keeping your own notes is still a good idea, because nobody's perfect.
Most of all, make the decision for yourself, that you are going in to HAVE FUN... AND as an ages old (from back in 1e days) Grognard, I'd like to WELCOME you to the greatest hobby on Earth! ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Holy crap. Dude. Was not at all expecting even half the reply you came with. Please know I'm keeping all of it for future reference because this answered all my questions, even the ones I had in my head but never even typed.
Thanks Grognard. I'll always remember you as my first kinda unofficial internet D&D (edit: +more) mentor.
-Hobsyllwin (old WoW name of my lvl87 druid before I stopped playing. Felt like it kinda fits right in here 😂)
P.S. are you a fan of Artifexian? Or do other UA-camrs call the description the doobleydoo and I'm just completely unaware
@@AlexSmith-pj6ri Your quite welcome. Glad to be of help.
Actually quite a few UA-camrs refer to the "Doobly Doo" including Hank and John Green (Vlogbrothers Channel) and Matt Coleville (another D&D channel)...
I may have to check out Artifexian... AND no, I don't know who started it... only that it's been around since before I first signed up for Gmail...
Game on! (as Game Methusela would say... ;o)
@@gnarthdarkanen7464 Wow, I've played a few dnd sessions now, and you helped me out quite a bit too. Thanks man
@@vizunalvarez883 Always welcome. Glad to give a figurative "leg up". I've been playing 30-odd years now... I still prefer a real Table and real Beers and friends and pizza... BUT covid... (lolz)
Welcome to the GREATEST hobby in the world! ;o)
I had a druid that had a split personality/identity crisis. My dm would have me roll a will save randomly during sessions and if I failed I would have an “episode”.
This was no regular split personality disorder though, oh no. My Druids mental disorder caused him to believe his original form was that of one of his wild shapes. Basically if I failed the save I panicked and didn’t know why I had wild shaped into a human and would panic. Rolling on a table I would randomly turn into whatever wild shape I thought my true self was.
My dm was careful to only have me roll for it only once in a while when he deemed it comedic and not when we’d be in combat.
Or at least most of the time he did. Until the incident. Long story short I wildshaped into a giant octopus in a small tunnel underground during a dungeon crawl and I crushed my three other party members, dealing enough damage to knock them unconscious.
I failed will saves to realize I was having an episode three times in a row as two of my three allies failed all their death saves three times in a row as well.
Tldr-bipolar druid turns into giant octopus underground and crushes half the party to death
Currently playing Curse of Strahd and i want that Possible spoilers yell as my DM's ringtone
I have been fascinated and have been reading D&D Books online (at the 5E Tools Website) so much that I could unintentionally "meta-game". Still, I hope the someday I can play this game in someone's campaign for real (of course, no meta gaming, pure reasonable RP).
... and now it looks like I can get closer to that goal someday.
I pushed a blind goblin down a waterfall
Time shenanigans,
My DM had us find ourselves in a desert but not just any desert and desert stuck in stasis. There was a war between some Teiflings and some religious racist. We came across a few of said racist only two of which where alive. One was the commander and another was a lone soilder that was stuck under a broken trebuchet. Instead of killing him for being a racist we realized that anyone who was still alive had no idea what year it’s been which had basically been a millennium or such. So we decided to tell the guy about time passing, racism ending, his family dying and nothing being left for him as he lives forever in a pointless meaningless life. We made the grown man cry, said our job is done here and left him pinned not dying and not living.
You are cool thine rippest
Not necessarily evil, but definitely unintentionally cruel. I'm currently playing a vengeance paladin and had my first session with the group. My character's background was a Smith's apprentice when his home was attacked, only survivor, yadda yadda. Well because of this my paladin wields a warhammer. Here's where it gets good. First encounter with the group it's just me, the monk, and the monk's pet magic tortoise (think squirtle) going against some bandits. My first attack i roll pretty high on hit and damage, no smite, and my dm goes to describe how my strike connects with his jaw sideways and tears it off, the bandit runs away in terror. The next target i close in on (all while taking fire from the rest of them) same thing happens except this time the dm asks me where I'm aiming my strike so if course i call a headshot, roll damage samething, took his jaw and fled in terror. Finally i close in on the leader and actually have a fierce duel with him, almost dying, all while the leader talks all kinds of smack about my character and paladins in general. Got a nat 20 just in time and looked my dm straight in the eye and tell him " i calmly tell the leader to shut up as a swing my hammer under hand aiming for his jaw. I use divine smite." rolled for damage and damnit if it didn't kill him and just crushed his jaw, he tried to run away but i got him with an opportunity attack. After the session my dm told that my character kept rolling just under lethal damage on all of his first strikes and the jaw was the first non immediate injury he could think of and kept falling back on it. We've now decided one of my character traits is a tendency to remove peoples jaws from them in a fight
We too love everyone over at rip daddies house
We're in an Ilithid compound, prisoners. My good boy cleric gained favour with 4 foot tall Ilithid that needs protecting from his conniving brethren. As revenge for a slight, he was ordered to kill the favoured of another Ilithid.
Being a 14th level cleric, the Ilithids all know that he can solo them. So when he showed up, the other Ilithid just walked away. His favoured was a night hag slave with her tongue cut out.
Long story short: Hold Monster, grapple, pushed off the edge of a floating asteroid base in space. He said sorry the entire time, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
The cruelest thing I ever did as a DM was I killed one of my players' families because it was the only way to get him to go full power. Now, hr has gone from a sociopath to just a depressed, sad protagonist since his friend has gone from a psychopathic player to a psychopathic Lich BBEG
So a mix party of vagabonds had a mission to help clear some dwarves out of a evacuation site and back to town. Easy enough right? Help civilians, however they started getting rude to my "redcap" goblin barbarian. Now I'm not the smartest goblin and I tried for them to see reason to leave. The town mayor said so, a group of heavily armed adventurer's said so, a dragon on the fly, I even destroyed the statue they were studying to get them to move, no dice. Patience cut I put my scythe Pike to one of their necks,
"move or I'll kill you"
"Kill me"
Took his head off.
"His friends shock picka face"
To make things even funnier our rogue tried to do some non lethal damage and knock one out but he rolled so high it nearly tripled the dwarf health so insta killed meanwhile our lawful good orc is struggling not to cut me down. Good laugh, good encounter with a bunch of stubborn dumb dwarves. It was so funny among us our dm tried to make us feel bad by having one of the dwarves family be huge with a mess of kids but I started going off on maybe that's why he wanted to die. What man wants to come home to six kids and a wife like that?
Notification squad
Does Lucky Timing count? Yt doesn't believe in prompt notifications for me with this channel.
Does anyone have a link to the group finder discord server?
How do you spell that music artist's name? I can't seem to find 888.
That time I accedently castrated an NPC...
It was with my first ever character, I think it was the fourth or fifth game I’d ever played so I was green as can be and didn’t really know how squishy I was. I was playing a rogue who was a noble refugee from a far off city state who’d lost everything was and clinging to a broken system of honour. He quickly got the nickname the ‘randy rogue’ as he kept trying to chat up ANY NPC with breasts (so long as they were attractive) but anyway;
Our group were in this seedy tavern down by the docks talking to former pirate smuggler NPC (A Mr Swann) to find out about a smuggling operation we’d been employed to help stop. He wasn’t giving much up to the others who were chatting to him over a pint (two of the other players knew him from their backstories) so I tried intimidating him at the table by playing with my dagger whilst very slowly and very loudly pouring water into a dish on the floor (I wanted to make him really need to go) and low and behold he suddenly DID need to pee, Thanks DM!
He got up and went to the back room, I and another player, a water gensi pirate names ‘Swish’ got up to follow him, it was just going to be me but she wanted to come as she new him so I told her it was fine so long as she didn’t get in the way of what I needed to do (Wink wink). So we go in and Swann is standing at a urinal with his back to us, we go up to him one on each side and I decide to focus his attention by slipping my dagger between his legs and threatening a very sensitive and valuable area of his anatomy, whilst being all friendly; “Swanny! you know we’re really interested in that group you were talking about, don't suppose you remember any more about them?...”Swish was totally down for questioning him like this and playing the whole good pirate bad rogue line and that's when it happened!
Swann goes and pull a knife out in a shaking hand; I’m a new character, he’s still got the shine on him and I’ve NEVER been in a fight before so I think CRAP! I’m in danger, got to get at a better distance to be safe SOOOOOOOO I step back and decide to get the first blood by just drawing my dagger crosswise, Just a little nick... I roll 18 and BAM! I just castrated ‘MR’ Swann. So he’s now standing in a pool of blood and urine and starts shouting and we need him to be quiet so Swish up and casts mould water and slaps him out cold with a wave from the urinal...then she casts heal wounds and he’s not bleeding any longer...but his assets are no longer attached.
He woke up but wasn’t really in the mood to talk and just ran out the tavern. An artificer from our group ran after him to giving him some brass replacements down the street shouting ‘I CAN GIVE YOU BALLS!’ and I got a jar of brandy and kept the assets for use latter, I thought maybe we could hold them for ransom and offer to reattach them latter...I regret nothing XD
Our thief got caught and put in a chain gang. Freed him and my sorcerer used elemental rift to "Handle" the rest of the prisoners cuz we couldn't take care of them... Afterwards it was pointed out that they were adults who could have taken care of themselves. I nuked 30 harmless people.
caltrops let your mind fill in the rest
Speaking about the mill in curse of strahd my party killed the bird, DO NOT KILL THE BIRD, I REPEAT DO NOT KILL THE BIRD, it ended in a tpk.
Spoiler for Curse of Strahd. I was playing a CN githyanki battle mage later to multiclass into fighter. I used the mirror to try and kill babba it says and was turned neutral evil. When we got to one of the town I proceeded to almost kill a guard and make fun of all the mutt people. When we got to the temple I took almost every single power there was and became the biggest a-hole. I was now deaths angel and with the sword of light,25 strength, turning to good for the cleric to help train a wolf, and resurrecting the dragon. We killed strahd in 3 rounds and had his coffin on our shield guardians back. I now live there killing him and making it a ceremony every few months. Also the cleric lives with the dragon and we have the occasional game night. I also almost killed the sorcerer with cone of cold to kill a bunch of gargoyles.
I would have ended the first one with a new indentured servant.
So, this story was earlier in my current campaign. I’m playing a chaotic neutral cleric, who got his powers from eating a magical potato. I made him as a sort of joke character, and as part of his backstory he’s being hunted by this organization of vegans, called L.A.P.S. (Lovely Animal Protection Society) who are trying to save all animals from being eaten. Well, at one point, I got a precious staff stolen from me by this organization, and so of course I tried to track it down. I ended up interrogating one of the members, and I got some pretty high rolls on persuasion, and got the information I needed. But.... I wasn’t satisfied, I decided that the vegan needed to be punished...
Me: “I want to use Command on him and force him to eat a fish” (We were in a tavern at the moment)
DM: “You... what?”
Me: “I want to use command on him and force him to eat a fish.”
The guy got a Nat 1 on his saving throw, and so he was forced to break his sacred vows and consume the fish. My entire party burst out laughing at it all.
PRAISE BE TO THE ALMIGHTY GOB'TEH!!!
2:50 And alignment change incoming 🤭
i would thumb up but when i got here there were 420 thumb ups and i shall not disturb
We are past that now so you are welcome to come back and drop that sweet sweet like on us
Pimp cane aka the rod of ho correction
I threw some gnoll head down a narrow cave tunnel to lure out / try to convince the rest of the gnolls it would not end up in their favor. They laughed and threw back a human skull.
So I went back and hacked two other gnoll heads off of the group we killed before and threw them down the tunnel too. This kinda enraged them and one came running towards me. It got killed from one of our casters while in melee with me and I tried to hack it's head off too but failed the roll.
We nearly wiped that day but atleast I didn't loose in a game of decapitation chicken.
At 5:20 I realized what was going to happen and Jesus Christ
My party recently castrated a 20-30ft cyclops. The warlock combined his eldritch blast with some bottles of semen[He collected it earlier in the game in vilas, it also came from a fire based sorcerer so fun :)]
Anyways with the attack of the semen being combined with his blast his burned of the poor cyclops private part via a acidy-fiery substance. Honestly did not expect the first boss they went against for the campaign to go down due to that.
(Our fighter finished the mini boss short after that)
Let's just that that was definitely an interesting session
Praise Gob’Teh!!!
What if i havent really played before are there groups for people who dont have a clue what to do?
Yes. But the ones that don't exist as well.
I would go to your local public library and ask, or check the community board (my library has an actual cork board where library patrons post notices.
Also, my local bookstore (there's only one in my town), has a game night (on alternate Wednesdays) where several tables are set up for AD&D gaming. I would think you should be able to find a beginner's table in a set up like that, if such exists in your town.
Does your server support 3.0
The server has sections for most versions and an other section for the rest
We had just defeated a sea serpent and were looting its hoard. The resident main NPC companion found a genie bottle and expressed his desire to use the wishes to get home and live happily with his wife. So he held onto the bottle while he thought about what he was going to wish for.
I was playing a Swashbuckler Rogue, and Lurker of the Deep Warlock Mimic-kin. Her Kraken patron kept pushing her to steal the bottle for her to use, and with her low intelligence and wisdom, she listened. She stole the bottle and retreated into her quarters (despite her intelligence, she became captain of the ship). She wished for 3 things.
1. A fleet that could rival the BBEG. And so she got an undead fleet under her sole control.
For the second wish, her Patron kept pushing her to wish him greater power or release from his prison. But she wanted to save the wish for the NPC. He got madder and madder, and in a panic she wished "I wish Kahuna was here in *person*!"
And as genies do, her patron appeared... as a powerless human. A person.
And then her third wish was to release the genie, because the genie girl was actually really nice.
The NPC was mad because my character took what would have been a happy future from him.
It was intense and hilarious at the same time, mainly due to the fact she could no longer gain levels as a Warlock.
Whoop Whoop
Whoa, WAIT.
Elves in "The Dark Eye" are not Assholes - quite the opposite.
That described behaviour is against mostly EVERYTHING the Rules say about Elves.
They live by something you could see as "Code of Natural Harmony" - also, they are basically Bisexual (yes, they do not differ between Men or Women in ANY Kind, but they are also NOT "Transsexual Pervdolls"); even if Humany use the Term "Elvish" as Synonym for "Gay".
Their View on the World is that everything has its natural place and order and they have a instinctive Feel for it - they simply do not come to think something like "I want to do anything different!" as they always do what they want to do (Kinda like Cats).
The Reason for them to oppose "Humans" is when they disturb the "Harmony" (which is quite easy to do by ... just beeing a Human). Otherwise, they normally seek to find a "mutual Agreement" - obsessively. Also, they are quite blunt and direct in their Approaches - the concept of "lying" is something they do not get easily; takes Years for them to understand it.
But, they Kill Humans under some Circumstances and can be fairly brutal and gory as well when fighting (Depends on the Tribe and the individual Personality). Thoose circumstance can be that a Human enters a Part of Land the Elve consider "under his Protection" and the other one as "Intruder". This way, an Animal like a Tiger or Wolf would fight and kill without hesitation or remorse - thus do Elves. But, there will be no hatred or similar feelings towards the Victim.
If this is disturbed, thoose "Elves" get banished from their Tribes, loose the Bonds to them and such - which is so horrific for them, they mostly simply die from it. It is their Soul now beeing tarnished cutting the Bond, not some "political sceme".
And thoose who survive or had more "human" than elvish Traits in their Char can not connect properly. Thoose ones are severly traumatized and thus can be considred as "totally nuts". Think Anakin becoming Darth Vader.
But, an "untarnished" Elve from the Woodelve-Tribe can turn into a Panther and kill some Humans, even eating their Guts without getting "tarnished", as he does it with the innocence of a Panther. He is the "Hunter", you are "Prey" - period. Also, his Combat Behaviour can surpass Conan the Barbarian in "Cruelty" according for Human Standards - because, if you do it, it is your "Lifes Path" do be that way (Fighter for example) and thus you fight - like a wild Animal would do.
If you are a Diplomat, you do not fight - you ask others to do. And believe me, even a Rabbit gets horrific if it is inside of your Plate Armors Pants. And maybe his Friend "Borky" the Tree seeks to strangle you.
Oh, and one more Thing: Elves do not "steal", they simply do not get the Concept of "personal Posession" - everything is for everyone. Either you are god enugh to get to your Goals or you fail, may it be due lack of Ability or because someone else was better (They do not get salty!).
So, for D&D, you could say, they are mostly "Communist-Hippie-Druids" or "Fallen Communist-Hippie-Druids".
Comments funny number: 69
Sooo I tried to knock a guard out but failed so I tied him up and to keep him from shouting I stuffed (the only cloth I could find) his under ware in his mouth