Hot damn. I'm looking at this video over a year after posting, and blown away by the response. I know that this was a hard one to watch and listen to, but just remember: There's a part of this video where I thought I was being clever and fancy by spelling "beauty cream" "beauty CREME." So I hope this video gives you a little bit a hope, and makes you laugh at my utter incompetence.
I am a new subscriber having just discovered your channel. I'm very sorry that you lost your dad the way you did. It sounds to me like a lot of the challenges you have faced trace back to that. But the young woman I see now looks strong and confident to me. We men have a tendency when a woman opens up the way you did to want to "fix" everything. Which I have learned most women hate. So I will simply suggest that no matter what happens the only person you have to make happy is yourself. The rest of the world will follow along with you or they won't. But as long as you have a good self image you can't go wrong. Good luck in all that you do going forward. As a subscriber I'll be adding what little I can to your viewer count.
I'm a new subscriber as well and working on getting caught up, I'm glad you've been able to make such a great turnaround. I had a lot of struggles in high school myself so I love seeing stories of other people who managed to survive. I've been super pleased to see more youtubers giving old DOS games and hardware more notice; I love me some retro console games but there's been so little good content for old PC games until relatively recently. Keep it up!
I know it's been a year since you posted this but this really struck a cord for me. I have had very similar things happen in my life and I just wanted to thank you for sharing
PushingUpRoses it actually did give me slot hope since I been struggling with my mental illnesses alot lately... it been hard and it feels like I can't see a good future for my self sometimes but after hearing about all the things you been though and seeing where you are now I feel like things may end up being ok
Wanted to say that I'm honored to be your best friend :) You've inspired me like crazy since knowing you, from losing weight myself to making better videos to just not giving up. And this video sums up so much of why. Excellent stuff, Sarah.
thanks u made a real draw youre life not some family friendly bullcrap it helped me i strated therapy today youre vids make me feel less weird so i dont feel so weird for liking the off color stuff i do thx really
and also the sherlocke holmes fmv games from the sega cd can i get them for my laptop it doesnt have a cd drive so it sux but plz dont make fun of me im really new at this my thereapist suggested the web bc i dont do good with real ppl i tend to be very shy thx and if u dont have time to answer i understand thx either way
Found your channel from LGR :) This was a great video. The narrative was so fluid and the animation fit just perfectly. Your story, as painful as it must have been to endure, was captivating and relate-able. I suffered all of the feelings you described, from one perspective or another. Keep it girl! :) xo *hugs*
One classmate in my highschool was in a very bad mental shape because her parents got divorced, and the teacher told us to go easy on her and help her with school, she also put a lot of effort to help her study better. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a shitty treatment in high school :/
this, yes. dont need to put on a performance or anyting, just idle background singing, as your going about your thing. youve a really nice voice, and your obviously doing it for your own comfort, not to impress. this is soul speaking. is good, i like.
+Deadman Walk "A person sharing a life story; that takes a lot of balls." Well, in her case, technically, ovaries.But yes, she is a very brave person.UA-cam is full of trolls who hate successful women like her.
PushingUpRoses thank you for this. I've been struggling with my own little mix of mental problems myself. Some of which are depression, some eating disorders, really bad self esteem, suicidal thoughts and so much insecurities that make me want to give up so much. I recently just got discharged from a mental hospital because I cut myself and I told my art teacher and she suggested I should go to Pine Rest which is a mental hospital, so I went because I felt like I could not go on living anymore. I'm still really depressed that I could not get out of bed and shower for two weeks. I've been feeling really hopeless but when I watch you and LGR you guys really make me feel better. I don't really talk with anyone anymore and I feel really lost but after watching your draw my life, I feel less alone. I've always felt UA-camrs, people who are so far away from me and I have never met, have been some of the best people in my life and helping me get through it easier. I don't know if you'll see this or not but I really just wanted to thank you for making your videos and being one of the people that inspire me and make me want to go on living. So just thank you. : )
Jaymz Woods I am so glad you are here to leave me this comment. I am glad my videos have made things even a little bit better and have made you feel less alone. You are certainly not. Much love.
You're very brave for putting your story out there. Thank you for sharing it with us. Your experiences will resonate with people and I'm sure seeing you reach a happy place will inspire tons of people to keep working toward it too. You've inspired me anyway :)
Thank you so much for putting out this video. Depression is a common theme among gamers and creative people, and I think it really helps people to understand that they are not alone and that better days can be ahead. This video was published 3 years ago but I'm relatively new to your channel so I just watched it for the first time now. This video will continue to help people over years to come. Thank you again for making it.
As somebody born and raised on the Lake Michigan shore who also loved old DOS games as a kid (and still does to this day), has a true love for music (and singing), had a history with mental health medication (and hospitals), and a lifelong journey to self-acceptance...I just about cried at points in this video. You are TRULY an inspiration to others now, letting them know that they're not alone. It is a true honor being your fan.
Oh my love, I am so sorry. I lost my father at 10 years old and it also still affects me to this day even at 31 years old. The fact that you had to parents have cancer and that you had to watch your dad die of cancer is horrendous. Mine died of cancer as well and its a horrible way to watch someone go. You are such a strong and inspiring young woman, you really are.
I cannot even begin to imagine the hardships you've suffered throughout your life, but I am so, so, SO happy you managed to pull through. Because you are one of the most awesome people I know, and I want to keep watching you being awesome. So keep it up, Sarah. You rock.
I don't post UA-cam comments because I figure anything I say will get swallowed up by the magnitude of other comments. which is probably the case now. But I don't care this time. That was Insanely Inspiring. Pushing Up Awesome.
Dude, you're so cool Like actually. After everything, you’ve come out stronger, have a wicked lovable sense of humour, and your way of speaking could easily be listened to for hours.
Thank you. To keep it brief, I understand.Your story really hit home with me on so many levels. I can only imagine how hard this video was to make so thank you so much for sharing. Please feel free to contact me if you ever are stuck in a "low" or "down" place mentally. Finally, always remember, you're NEVER alone
I'm really glad you shared your story with the world. I wouldn't have the balls to tell everyone my story, I always bottled everything up and made sure no one notices that something is not right.
No Roses, thank YOU. For making this video. Feels like we learned much more about you that no one would've guessed. I'm not sure more what I can say, kinda at loss for words. I know how it feels to lose a loved one though, can say that much.
SuperTeeter64 Full Agreement there. Deep story and a great video. Roses keep up the good work and stay strong as always. We all have stories that may sound sad, or may sound empowering. Yours is both, and I hope you never stop your content. God Bless you and take care.
Saxcat20 Let's Plays That's partially why I cared so much about becoming a Teacher Aid. I did have that one awesome 6th grade teacher, but my high school teachers were horribly cold after Dad passed. No sympathy whatsoever.
PushingUpRoses It is so hard to hear that. I teach in an inner city school. Most kids have single parent, live with guardians...etc...drug problems...fight at a drop of a hat and expect to stay right where they are. I teach music, so I have the same kids usually all three years...I feel it is my job to make sure they are as ok as I can (there is only so much legally I can)...teaching is supposed to be for the aid of kids...once again...ugh I am so sorry your high school teachers failed. My high school years are what got me out of depression by being in band and with all those kids...
Your videos always brighten my days, regardless of how bad I feel, they help make things just that much more bearable. You always sound energetic, and you always make tongue in cheek jokes, so some of that spirit just rub off and then things don't feel quite as bad anymore. Thank you for making all this content. I am glad I found you.
I am so very glad I discovered your site (Clue review last week...)...I hope things have gotten a little easier for you in the three years since you made this astonishingly honest short film...you remind me so very much of my beloved daughter, who is 20 and has faced her share of problems with depression and body issues over the last seven years with grace and courage and a very similar fiery attitude that you seem to have...I wish you good fortune and peaceful times!
We love you roses. I lost my dad to suicide and have struggled mightily with depression and anxiety for most of my life and I often turn to my favourite youtubers for comfort on bad days. I've been watching your videos since the TGWG days and out of all the youtubers I frequent, your willingness to be open and honest, discuss darker and more personal topics has been inspiring for me. Thanks for everything.
Thank you very much for this video, Roses. Whenever I'm feeling down, strung out and exhausted from life, I tend to just sit back with my headphones in front of my computer and watch some videos about classic gaming. Not only because it reminds me of a way happier time but also because it's just something I generally find comfort in. ADG, LGR and you always manage to put a smile on my face. Never forget that you have a wonderful effect on other peoples' lives. You really really do!
Hey, this is Lex's friend Tyler from UIC. This is the first time I've seen this video (I recently started getting into your "Murder, She Wrote" series), and I just want to say that I really appreciate you making it. Also, I'm glad you stuck around and I got to meet you :)
Senora Rosa you are a very brave chica telling your story. It must be really hard to talk about your life, from your father's death to personal problems, school problems, anxiety, and your physical appearance.
Thanks for sharing! This is great! I don't mean your struggles, but that you told this story! I'm 32 years old and I completely needed to hear/watch this. No offense, but I'm so happy that you lived to tell this story. It's a huge encouragement. I lost my dad as well, but I was 18, and he had a decade's long battle with kidney failure, so I saw him slowly deteriorate, and it was devastating, so thank for showing that I'm not the only one who had to deal with losing a parent I love, and that there's hope.
I have been watchiny youre videos for years, and i never knew you're background. I watched this video together with my wife and we both felt so related to you, but also heart broken that you had to experience these situations. This might sound dumb or maybe unrealistic, but souls like you make me want to be there for people, like you. You are one of the more interesting (and snarky, laughable) people i've seen here on UA-cam, and listening to you're voice, as well seeing you from time to time is a joy. In my line of work i have seen people having the same mental problems in the past and it's pretty heart breaking. Never, NEVER let anyone tell you that you aren't needed in this world; every soul that is born has a purpose, and i'm glad you've found purpose, at least doing what you like. You are welcomed and loved by many; from family, friends, to outsiders, like me and my wife. She has become a fan of you're content and you (trough me) and i hope that's something that will make you smile.
You are amazing. So sorry for the pain you've experienced and continue to fight against. Times are strange, and though there are fuckbuckles out there who try to use the accessibility of the internet to intentionally make things tough for people, it is fantastic that in this world you not only found a forum/outlet, but that you are able to reach others through it; and in doing so, help give people hope and perspective, or even just give them a chance to reminisce and laugh with you in a cloud of nostalgia. Sometimes, those few minutes of getting lost in that cloud thanks to a complete stranger on the internet making a video of something they once loved/would have loved to know can help someone get through a very difficult time. I can guarantee, you have helped many people this way, in addition to those whom you may affect in a more direct, one-on-one way. [ya damn right, foo', I dominate the run-on sentences!] Thank you for your content, but more so, thank you very much for sharing yourself with us :)
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My father died too, it was horrible, he suffered so much, its not fair. I think about suicide a lot, but i cant do that, i have to take care of my mom. I wish you the best! Sorry about my english, its my second language and i not so good.
Hang in there!...It is really hard sometimes to keep a positive mind but trust me; things CAN get better. I've been there, I know you can get out of that dark place. Fight the monster. *hugs*
Roses, thank you. I have found new inspiration from you. Mental illness is something that is so under diagnosed and poorly understood and people don't take it seriously. Its so great people like you can talk about it and help share awareness. Again, thank you.
Roses, I commend you on your candidness and honesty in this video. As you well know, I've enjoyed your content since almost the beginning and have always enjoyed everything you've done. But I also very distinctly remember conversations that we had had during some of these moments mentioned here and have been so happy to see you pull back up from those times. I was surprised that you came to me, in any capacity, for counsel and support, but I was always happy to give and still am. As one who battles similar battles within my own head, and have been in a distinctively low valley in recent time frames, you are a wonderful source of inspiration and strength. I said it before and I say it again, you are one of the strongest, most resilient people I've ever seen. Your life and personality shows that no matter what happens within you, you can battle and you can come out of it. Simply, you are quite an amazing person Roses.
I love hearing stories like these but I hate that they exist. They give me hope. You're so strong. The hardest part to overcome is accepting positivities about yourself from others. It's impressive.
Your video really touched me, and I cried at many points. I was thinking to myself, your life up to this video was a lot like mine, I wish I could be as strong as you.
This is honestly the most encouraging Draw My Life I've seen...it shows you progressing in life, rather than telling "there is hope"... Sort of went through several similar things, and just now starting to get help...sort of helps...you know.
You are one of my favourite youtubers, and I'm so happy you were brave enough to tell us your story. Even if your channel is not as big as some, I guarantee you've inspired more people than you probably expect. That may sound generic as fuck, but I do mean it. Stay awesome, Roses!
I'm bipolar and have OD'ed myself and know what it's like to feel like the shittiest shit on the planet. I think its great that you're so open and honest about the issues you're facing, and it's great to see how well you're doing! Your drive and commitment to yourself and your creative outlet here is inspiring, and I want to give a thank you back for making all of your wonderful videos. :) You rock!
After watching this, I'm glad to see that you are doing so much better nowadays. You have a lot of fans and friends who support you and all. I have never understood why every psychological illness is treated with pills... Psychologists are taught to deal with people who are going through psychological problems, and yet they just end up filling their patients up with pills. I've always thought that, if you have to go through a lot of shit in life, you will start to appreciate the smaller or less visible things that most people miss. Like for example for most of us, friends are just a thing we have and therefore we maybe don't realize that some people there wish they'd have even 1 good friend to talk with. Very inspiring video. :)
Repeeli I think medicine can be so beneficial for some people. For me and especially regarding bulimia though...it really didn't. It didn't seem like there was a good combination of medicine for that, and I found the most helpful thing to be support groups and behavioral therapy. Looking back, we obviously lacked the experience to fully understand meds and therapy, and I was just kind of thrown into it. I at least know more now. Sometimes I have anxiety, and I found certain meds does help to quell that.
Actually only Psychiatrist (because they are graduated in medicine) can give you pills. Psychologists can deal with the treatment in a better way, trying to heal with the time instead of giving some fast solution.
As a clinical psychologist who has worked with people with eating issues and body dysmorphic disorder, I appreciate your openness about your struggles that you shared in this video and your skin surgery video. So many of my clients think they are alone in their struggles and fear that they will never get better, and you are proof that with help and dedication life can get better. I'm glad that things are getting better for you and I'm glad you are working on your BDD. It's hard when we don't see ourselves the way others see us, or when we see things that we think of as being flaws that everyone can see. It takes a lot of work and training your brain to think in a different way, but you appear to be smart and introspective, so you have the tools you need. You can do it!
PushingUpRoses I first and foremost would like to let you know how much truly loved and appreciated your "Draw My Life". It touched me so deeply because your life Mirrors mine on SO many levels, I also struggled with self-image/self-esteem growing up, an eating disorder that I kept a secret (and still do from most people), as well as illness and depression. I really do want to thank you for creating this as well as your other content (Especially for building that Clue House with LGR lol... I LOVE That game and the Movie
As a person who works in the mental health field, it is always exciting to hear people’s stories of recovery... I am sure that your willingness to share this has provided hope to a lot of folks. Thank you for sharing your journey with us- and for all of the awesome content you create!
You are an amazing person. Coming from someone who still suffers with Depression, ADHD, and a few other things. I watched the video to the end and found so many different things that I could relate to. I love how open you were here, and it has definitely helped me. Keep up the good work, Roses, and thank you for sharing your story. Especially as my dad suffered through Brain Cancer recently, between you and LGR, you kept me going. He is alive and kicking, but the vertigo and uncertainty has returned. Thanks again, Roses.
I see a lot of myself in this DML video. Life is tough. But we have to hold our heads high and lean on those who support us. Glad to see that through it all you've made it this far.
The rawness/honesty of this video really resonated with me- I've had my own issues with suicidal thoughts/depression and your videos are one of the things that have helped me get through some tough times. You're an inspiration.
Hey Roses, I just wanted to say I love everything you do online. and after seeing your Drew My Life I am even more inspired by you than i was before. From your love of nostalgic video games to your love of the Monkees, I would say everything about you is amazing, special, and chocked full of great stuff!
I have struggled with a severe depression for many years. This video makes me wonder, how many are like me. How many broken men and women are there around the world, feeling lonely, isolated, ensnared in toxic feelings and can't get better? We who are going through this should help each other, should support each other, should be allies, friends. I feel we are companions somehow, companions in pain. We must not be alone, we must overcome our struggles together. Thank you Roses, I came to this channel because my favorite game genre is adventure games, and I've always watched you like I watch a TV show, but now I see you as someone I can relate to, I see you as a person that could have been me, as someone I definitely would have stick around to in school, I see you as a companion.
(Just rode in off the Bayonetta DYKG video. Great work!) It obviously took a great deal of courage to create this vid, and tell your story to the world. You seem pretty amazing, and it sucks that you had to go through those challenges. The world is richer for your success over them, so far. ;) No doubt your tale will help others who struggle with similar situations, too. Honored to be a new subscriber. :D
As someone who has depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and anorexia, with lots of time in therapy, treatment, all those steps. I even have had overdose attempts and have developed stomach problems. Listening to you talk about this so openly and it made me feel less alone on this sleepless night.
It's horrible that you've had to go through so much. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and a long history of self harm until around my mid 20s. I still get bad days but I managed to get myself under control. In a weird way I'm kind of glad I went through the things I did because I realised that you have no control over what happens to you in life but you do have control of your outlook and you can make that decision to become stronger for the experience. It's great that you've been able to find so much comfort and fulfillment through what you do on youtube and your content is great too.
It's extremely hard to talk about stuff like that. I've gone pretty much through same mental things as you, and you are right, they never go away but you learn how to manage it.
As somebody who lost a father to a lung disease (and a heavy person who struggles with self-worth problems) you had me in tears throughout this video. Kudos for your honesty and candor.
Like many others, I'm sure, I found you through LGR. I subscribed 'cause your humor won me over completely. I also do believe that you obsessing over something in a point and click adventure game with LGR had something to do with it. I stuck around because you are so unique and you always make me laugh. I can relate to having lost a father through illness. The last thing I remember my father saying is screaming the word 'help' 'cause he was in so much pain. That memory will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can't say it's any easier now than it is the day when I learned of his death. The only comfort I'll ever have is knowing he isn't in pain anymore. Keep fighting, Sarah. : ) We can do it! ^^
I'm so sorry you lost your dad... 2 and a half years ago my dad (age 57) died from pneumonia and it was so hard to deal with :( it's better now but both our dads will never be forgotten xxxx
i was just diagnosed with an eating disorder and really needed something like this -- i'm so glad i was able to hear all of this from someone whose videos i already really liked!! and thanks for reminding me that old favorites and familiar games can help sooth and relieve some anxiety and depression in your video about your favorites to play in that headspace. thank you for putting this out there.
I don't really know what to say, or how to put my feelings into words after watching this. You're an incredibly strong and inspiring person for not allowing your demons to beat you & I hope the future continues to be better and better for you. As someone who suffers from GAD and depression I often find myself watching your videos to find a happy place, takes me back to being a little boy playing things like Wolfenstein and Doom on my parents PC. Thank you for getting this out there, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone.
I put off watching this for years because I had a feeling there'd be something about depression in it and I was struggling getting my own in check but after finally watching it I'm blown away. It's incredible that you managed to keep going through all that and even though I'm in a much better place now I still feel inspired to keep going. Your content was always really funny and interesting but i had no idea you were so strong too! Thank you for making this.
Woah, I cried. I knew you had an interest in death but I never suspected things had been much worse than that. Thank you for sharing. Keep on creating and being you!
I'm amazing you can be so open here, Sarah. I'm also very grateful. My life was nowhere near as plagued with tragedy as yours, but I was bullied all through elementary, middle, and high school about my weight, my glasses, my taste in media, just about everything. To know that someone else had a difficult time of it makes me feel better, looking back on it. I know it's not remotely comparable to what happened to you, but thank you for sharing. It gives me hope for myself someday.
Probably the deepest "Draw My Life" I've ever seen. Most of them are more like "Draw My Career". I can identify with some elements of your story. I deal daily with suicidal ideation (not a desire to kill myself, but particularly vivid "Scrubs Fantasy Moments" where I step out in front of a bus, or jump off a building I'm walking by). Honestly, I think the only reason I'm alive today is because my self esteem was too low at one point to kill myself. I didn't consider myself to be worth the mess of a corpse. It was kinder to others to subsist.
Thank you for making this video. I'm 20 and dealing with a lot, jobless, severe mental health issues, feeling lost, and this video inspires me that things can change and I'll find myself. Thank you.
I feel for you, roses. I've struggled with depression, and selfloathing, myself. I really enjoy your videos, and I'm happy you're still around to produce them.
As someone who's married to someone with a history of varying mental illnesses, but have been lucky enough to not have any myself, I always appreciate it when someone is this candid about how things get. It helps me relate to her when its most important. So not only do things like this help those who feel the same way you do, but those who love them as well. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing this. It couldn't have been easy. Your work has always served as an inspiration and seeing you out there helped give me the courage to give it a try. I'm glad I discovered your work. Keep being awesome. I know you will. Cheers!
I'm so proud of you for staying strong and making it through. I couldn't even imagine having to go through something like that. I'm so happy you're still here, because you make so many people like me laugh and help us carry on. Thank you. Your story is inspiring.
(I'm sorry if this comment is really long, I just want to share my experience and thank Roses in the process) I'm studying to be a teacher and part of my decision to follow this career was, in part, thanks to some really awesome teachers that encouraged me to follow my dreams and never give up. I had a really low self esteem when I was a teen due to a really notorious physical imperfection that I had (until It was removed by surgery at the age of 20) and I was very introverted. But both my family and High School teachers kept helping me to become the person that I wanted to be and little by little I started to be more sociable and find some really awesome friends. I want to be a teacher because I know that not every kid/teen has my luck (specially in my country full of lazy ass teachers who don't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone) and I want to help them not only by teaching them proper English (yes I know, my English is still a little bit awkward) but also by being able to encourage them to be able to find what their own way to a happy and productive life. Your story really touched me Sarah and you are brave for sharing it with your viewers. I'm really glad that I found this channel by watching LGR, your let's plays got me hooked. Old School PC gaming forever!
rollingwolfang77 I don't mean to be rude, and I completely understand if you say no, but I'm just super curious. Are you willing to tell me what that physical imperfection was?
You are not rude at all. I had gynecomastia since I was 13 and it sucked. I was embarrased at the point that I could never take off my shirt in public (not even in front of my family), plus it was a really bad case and the glands were really inflamed (anyone would notice it even when I was wearing a coat and a lot of people in middle school made fun of me because of that). Luckily, and thanks to my father, I got totally rid of my gynecomastia when I was 20.
rollingwolfang77 Very brave of you for sharing that. I can understand your insecurity, but I am happy you were able to push through things and had awesome support from your family and teachers; that really does count for so much,
A lot of my life mirrors yours, minus a few things. Suicide attempt, time in a hospital, "alternative" school, etc. I am currently fighting cancer myself, and it's really hard. I'm afraid a lot. Thank you for sharing your life, you're an inspiration.
Thanks for sharing this. I watched this a little while ago while my mom was dying. Your telling of what you felt and what happened when your father passed has been comforting now, as my mom just recently passed. Thanks again.
you are an inspiration to me. proof that no matter how bad things get, it can and will get better. your videos were one of the things that helped me make it through my own near-suicidal depressive episode.
Your description of your struggle with bulimia describes my struggle with self-harm. I haven't cut in about a year, but I still think about doing it again at least once a week. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one with an irrational desire for self harm, or as I called it, self punishment, and that there are people who have overcome it enough to control it. Thank you for showing me that there is light in the fucked up blackness that is mental illness
I was writing a long comment but then lost it all because the video ended and it was all erased. I just wanted to say that I also suffer from depression and body issues. I suffered many traumas as a kid including home invasion and murder. Long story short, I really appreciate your video, especially this one. This video has been inspirational and has helped me think about how I could communicate my feelings. MEDs are terrible:( I have felt the same feelings that you have had in the past. I am glad you are here with us. Thank you Sarah! Keep being strong. - Kris
its sad that no one looks into why people act a certain way. if someone tries to commit suicide they are immediately considered insane and crazy, and it...it makes me disappointed in the human race. no one once asks why people try to commit suicide, its just an immediet "you are going insane" and that's it, which makes me just...just sad and its not okay especially since the "treatments" only make people worse... I want to just scream to every asylum "DID YOU ONCE ASK THEM WHY THEY WANT TO DIE?!?!?!" I'm sorry ill stop. I'm gonna regret typing this I just know it
kinda teared up watching this. my awkward personality and acne made my scholastic career pretty unpleasant. this led of course to self esteem issues that later led to drug addiction. music kept me going but wasn't enough to pull myself out of the hole i was in. i remember watching avgn, lgr, and your videos on those hard nights where i just didn't see the point in trying anymore. it helped me realize that there ARE people who have similar interests to me and that i should spend my time trying to find those kind of people instead of being upset about all of the people who had hurt me or didn't like me. thank you for posting this.
I've been going through a lot recently, especially regarding mental illness, and I just found your channel from ProJared. I've been binging recently because I love your brand of humor and the content you create. And the amount of quality content you create as well. You help me to smile when it is becoming increasingly harder to do so, and I appreciate your videos so much for that. I'm so very glad you made it through your difficult times and it gives me hope that I will make it through mine as well. Thank you so much
I know how you feel, when i was growing up i didnt have the best childhood & it affected me in secondary school (high school) & into my early 20's. Im 31 now & im still a bit messed up but now im happy how i am (if people think im weird etc). Anyway have a big :) from me
I saw your grimfandango reveiw and after hearing you talk about your dad it was really uplifting. my dad died when I was 13 and I've still been dealing with it for the past 7 years and you talking about it really did help me so thanks PUR and keep up the good work!
i don't understand how a therapist can think that giving someone, who has thoughts of suicide, pills was a good idea. It takes genuine care and work to help someone through those moments in life.
Look, I've never been through any kind of suicidal depression or anything before, but I know someone who has and I know for a fact how much they help her, and how glad she is that she's able to take them. I'm not saying they're universally the answer, but if they can help her deal with those thoughts and fears then they are at least occasionally justified.
***** It does help in some cases. Other cases (especially really serious ones)... not so much. I think some practitioners are more qualified for handing out medications than in-depth treatment.
So many people, so much technology, so much progress and so much abundance, yet a 60% percent increase in suicides in the last 45 years. So much loneliness, yet so much bravery in this video. You're a veteran, lucky to still be alive. Love your videos and looking forward to new ones!
Hot damn. I'm looking at this video over a year after posting, and blown away by the response. I know that this was a hard one to watch and listen to, but just remember: There's a part of this video where I thought I was being clever and fancy by spelling "beauty cream" "beauty CREME." So I hope this video gives you a little bit a hope, and makes you laugh at my utter incompetence.
I am a new subscriber having just discovered your channel. I'm very sorry that you lost your dad the way you did. It sounds to me like a lot of the challenges you have faced trace back to that.
But the young woman I see now looks strong and confident to me. We men have a tendency when a woman opens up the way you did to want to "fix" everything. Which I have learned most women hate. So I will simply suggest that no matter what happens the only person you have to make happy is yourself. The rest of the world will follow along with you or they won't. But as long as you have a good self image you can't go wrong.
Good luck in all that you do going forward. As a subscriber I'll be adding what little I can to your viewer count.
I'm a new subscriber as well and working on getting caught up, I'm glad you've been able to make such a great turnaround. I had a lot of struggles in high school myself so I love seeing stories of other people who managed to survive. I've been super pleased to see more youtubers giving old DOS games and hardware more notice; I love me some retro console games but there's been so little good content for old PC games until relatively recently. Keep it up!
Your awesome
I know it's been a year since you posted this but this really struck a cord for me.
I have had very similar things happen in my life and I just wanted to thank you for sharing
PushingUpRoses it actually did give me slot hope since I been struggling with my mental illnesses alot lately... it been hard and it feels like I can't see a good future for my self sometimes but after hearing about all the things you been though and seeing where you are now I feel like things may end up being ok
Wanted to say that I'm honored to be your best friend :) You've inspired me like crazy since knowing you, from losing weight myself to making better videos to just not giving up. And this video sums up so much of why. Excellent stuff, Sarah.
Lazy Game Reviews Thank you for being there for me, always.
thanks u made a real draw youre life not some family friendly bullcrap it helped me i strated therapy today youre vids make me feel less weird so i dont feel so weird for liking the off color stuff i do thx really
and also the sherlocke holmes fmv games from the sega cd can i get them for my laptop it doesnt have a cd drive so it sux but plz dont make fun of me im really new at this my thereapist suggested the web bc i dont do good with real ppl i tend to be very shy thx and if u dont have time to answer i understand thx either way
jockslap idrc I only care about those other people
Found your channel from LGR :) This was a great video. The narrative was so fluid and the animation fit just perfectly. Your story, as painful as it must have been to endure, was captivating and relate-able. I suffered all of the feelings you described, from one perspective or another. Keep it girl! :) xo *hugs*
One classmate in my highschool was in a very bad mental shape because her parents got divorced, and the teacher told us to go easy on her and help her with school, she also put a lot of effort to help her study better. I'm sorry to hear that you had such a shitty treatment in high school :/
Roses, please sing more in your channel. Please.
this, yes.
dont need to put on a performance or anyting, just idle background singing, as your going about your thing. youve a really nice voice, and your obviously doing it for your own comfort, not to impress.
this is soul speaking. is good, i like.
word
I love you so dang much. Even more so for being so open and sharing your story.
+Kiri Callaghan Thank you so much for listening to it.
+PushingUpRoses A person sharing a life story that takes a lot of balls Subbed :)
+Deadman Walk "A person sharing a life story; that takes a lot of balls."
Well, in her case, technically, ovaries.But yes, she is a very brave person.UA-cam is full of trolls who hate successful women like her.
yeah kat something like that
+Deadman Walk she doesn't have balls though😏
PushingUpRoses thank you for this. I've been struggling with my own little mix of mental problems myself. Some of which are depression, some eating disorders, really bad self esteem, suicidal thoughts and so much insecurities that make me want to give up so much. I recently just got discharged from a mental hospital because I cut myself and I told my art teacher and she suggested I should go to Pine Rest which is a mental hospital, so I went because I felt like I could not go on living anymore. I'm still really depressed that I could not get out of bed and shower for two weeks. I've been feeling really hopeless but when I watch you and LGR you guys really make me feel better. I don't really talk with anyone anymore and I feel really lost but after watching your draw my life, I feel less alone. I've always felt UA-camrs, people who are so far away from me and I have never met, have been some of the best people in my life and helping me get through it easier. I don't know if you'll see this or not but I really just wanted to thank you for making your videos and being one of the people that inspire me and make me want to go on living. So just thank you. : )
Jaymz Woods I am so glad you are here to leave me this comment. I am glad my videos have made things even a little bit better and have made you feel less alone. You are certainly not. Much love.
PushingUpRoses You literally made my day by responding. For one of the few times in my life, I feel like I could cry tears of joy. Thank you so much!
I am so so glad that you're still here. You are and continue to be a huge inspiration for me every day. Stay awesome, Sarah.
Life is very rough for me right now, I'm sitting here sobbing, substance abuse, anxiety, dysphoria, thanks for giving me hope, I look up to you.
You're very brave for putting your story out there. Thank you for sharing it with us. Your experiences will resonate with people and I'm sure seeing you reach a happy place will inspire tons of people to keep working toward it too. You've inspired me anyway :)
TamashiiHiroka Thank you very much. I really enjoyed watching and listening to yours too; it was an inspiring for mine. :)
Thank you so much for putting out this video. Depression is a common theme among gamers and creative people, and I think it really helps people to understand that they are not alone and that better days can be ahead. This video was published 3 years ago but I'm relatively new to your channel so I just watched it for the first time now. This video will continue to help people over years to come. Thank you again for making it.
As somebody born and raised on the Lake Michigan shore who also loved old DOS games as a kid (and still does to this day), has a true love for music (and singing), had a history with mental health medication (and hospitals), and a lifelong journey to self-acceptance...I just about cried at points in this video. You are TRULY an inspiration to others now, letting them know that they're not alone.
It is a true honor being your fan.
Oh my love, I am so sorry. I lost my father at 10 years old and it also still affects me to this day even at 31 years old. The fact that you had to parents have cancer and that you had to watch your dad die of cancer is horrendous. Mine died of cancer as well and its a horrible way to watch someone go. You are such a strong and inspiring young woman, you really are.
I cannot even begin to imagine the hardships you've suffered throughout your life, but I am so, so, SO happy you managed to pull through. Because you are one of the most awesome people I know, and I want to keep watching you being awesome. So keep it up, Sarah. You rock.
Wow your honesty and openness is amazing and awe inspiring. You are one of the best things I found on that guy, thank you for being around.
I don't post UA-cam comments because I figure anything I say will get swallowed up by the magnitude of other comments. which is probably the case now. But I don't care this time. That was Insanely Inspiring. Pushing Up Awesome.
Manu smith Thank you for posting. :)
Dude, you're so cool
Like actually. After everything, you’ve come out stronger, have a wicked lovable sense of humour, and your way of speaking could easily be listened to for hours.
Thank you.
To keep it brief, I understand.Your story really hit home with me on so many levels. I can only imagine how hard this video was to make so thank you so much for sharing. Please feel free to contact me if you ever are stuck in a "low" or "down" place mentally.
Finally, always remember, you're NEVER alone
I'm really glad you shared your story with the world. I wouldn't have the balls to tell everyone my story, I always bottled everything up and made sure no one notices that something is not right.
No Roses, thank YOU.
For making this video.
Feels like we learned much more about you that no one would've guessed.
I'm not sure more what I can say, kinda at loss for words.
I know how it feels to lose a loved one though, can say that much.
SuperTeeter64 Full Agreement there. Deep story and a great video. Roses keep up the good work and stay strong as always. We all have stories that may sound sad, or may sound empowering. Yours is both, and I hope you never stop your content. God Bless you and take care.
As a teacher I am terribly sorry yours failed so bad in your time of need. Teachers are SUPPOSED to care about the kids...not add to the issue.
Saxcat20 Let's Plays Also, thanks for sharing Roses, you are stronger than many people I've seen give it all away. Thank you for telling this story.
Saxcat20 Let's Plays That's partially why I cared so much about becoming a Teacher Aid. I did have that one awesome 6th grade teacher, but my high school teachers were horribly cold after Dad passed. No sympathy whatsoever.
PushingUpRoses It is so hard to hear that. I teach in an inner city school. Most kids have single parent, live with guardians...etc...drug problems...fight at a drop of a hat and expect to stay right where they are. I teach music, so I have the same kids usually all three years...I feel it is my job to make sure they are as ok as I can (there is only so much legally I can)...teaching is supposed to be for the aid of kids...once again...ugh I am so sorry your high school teachers failed. My high school years are what got me out of depression by being in band and with all those kids...
Your videos always brighten my days, regardless of how bad I feel, they help make things just that much more bearable. You always sound energetic, and you always make tongue in cheek jokes, so some of that spirit just rub off and then things don't feel quite as bad anymore.
Thank you for making all this content. I am glad I found you.
I am so very glad I discovered your site (Clue review last week...)...I hope things have gotten a little easier for you in the three years since you made this astonishingly honest short film...you remind me so very much of my beloved daughter, who is 20 and has faced her share of problems with depression and body issues over the last seven years with grace and courage and a very similar fiery attitude that you seem to have...I wish you good fortune and peaceful times!
You are a survivor, Roses. All my respects.
We love you roses.
I lost my dad to suicide and have struggled mightily with depression and anxiety for most of my life and I often turn to my favourite youtubers for comfort on bad days. I've been watching your videos since the TGWG days and out of all the youtubers I frequent, your willingness to be open and honest, discuss darker and more personal topics has been inspiring for me. Thanks for everything.
Thank you very much for this video, Roses. Whenever I'm feeling down, strung out and exhausted from life, I tend to just sit back with my headphones in front of my computer and watch some videos about classic gaming. Not only because it reminds me of a way happier time but also because it's just something I generally find comfort in. ADG, LGR and you always manage to put a smile on my face. Never forget that you have a wonderful effect on other peoples' lives. You really really do!
Hey, this is Lex's friend Tyler from UIC. This is the first time I've seen this video (I recently started getting into your "Murder, She Wrote" series), and I just want to say that I really appreciate you making it. Also, I'm glad you stuck around and I got to meet you :)
Senora Rosa you are a very brave chica telling your story. It must be really hard to talk about your life, from your father's death to personal problems, school problems, anxiety, and your physical appearance.
Thanks for sharing! This is great! I don't mean your struggles, but that you told this story! I'm 32 years old and I completely needed to hear/watch this. No offense, but I'm so happy that you lived to tell this story. It's a huge encouragement. I lost my dad as well, but I was 18, and he had a decade's long battle with kidney failure, so I saw him slowly deteriorate, and it was devastating, so thank for showing that I'm not the only one who had to deal with losing a parent I love, and that there's hope.
Great story. You've come a long way and you are awesome for it!
I have been watchiny youre videos for years, and i never knew you're background. I watched this video together with my wife and we both felt so related to you, but also heart broken that you had to experience these situations. This might sound dumb or maybe unrealistic, but souls like you make me want to be there for people, like you. You are one of the more interesting (and snarky, laughable) people i've seen here on UA-cam, and listening to you're voice, as well seeing you from time to time is a joy. In my line of work i have seen people having the same mental problems in the past and it's pretty heart breaking.
Never, NEVER let anyone tell you that you aren't needed in this world; every soul that is born has a purpose, and i'm glad you've found purpose, at least doing what you like. You are welcomed and loved by many; from family, friends, to outsiders, like me and my wife.
She has become a fan of you're content and you (trough me) and i hope that's something that will make you smile.
Thanks for posting this. I needed to see this today.
Geek Remix
You are amazing. So sorry for the pain you've experienced and continue to fight against. Times are strange, and though there are fuckbuckles out there who try to use the accessibility of the internet to intentionally make things tough for people, it is fantastic that in this world you not only found a forum/outlet, but that you are able to reach others through it; and in doing so, help give people hope and perspective, or even just give them a chance to reminisce and laugh with you in a cloud of nostalgia. Sometimes, those few minutes of getting lost in that cloud thanks to a complete stranger on the internet making a video of something they once loved/would have loved to know can help someone get through a very difficult time. I can guarantee, you have helped many people this way, in addition to those whom you may affect in a more direct, one-on-one way.
[ya damn right, foo', I dominate the run-on sentences!]
Thank you for your content, but more so, thank you very much for sharing yourself with us :)
My father died too, it was horrible, he suffered so much, its not fair. I think about suicide a lot, but i cant do that, i have to take care of my mom. I wish you the best! Sorry about my english, its my second language and i not so good.
Hang in there!...It is really hard sometimes to keep a positive mind but trust me; things CAN get better. I've been there, I know you can get out of that dark place. Fight the monster.
*hugs*
Jessie Bell Thank you so much Jessie.
Thanks Jacob.
+O Cabeçudo Desmiolado Haha yeah you speak better English then most people that comment on youTube xD
I was a fan when you were on TGWTG. Your YT content has been fantastic! You've had such an amazing journey and I'm happy you are finding success!
Nah, you ain't fucked up in any way. Just had a hard life. You are great and that's why I'm subscribed to your channel.
Roses, thank you. I have found new inspiration from you. Mental illness is something that is so under diagnosed and poorly understood and people don't take it seriously. Its so great people like you can talk about it and help share awareness. Again, thank you.
Roses, I commend you on your candidness and honesty in this video. As you well know, I've enjoyed your content since almost the beginning and have always enjoyed everything you've done. But I also very distinctly remember conversations that we had had during some of these moments mentioned here and have been so happy to see you pull back up from those times. I was surprised that you came to me, in any capacity, for counsel and support, but I was always happy to give and still am.
As one who battles similar battles within my own head, and have been in a distinctively low valley in recent time frames, you are a wonderful source of inspiration and strength. I said it before and I say it again, you are one of the strongest, most resilient people I've ever seen. Your life and personality shows that no matter what happens within you, you can battle and you can come out of it. Simply, you are quite an amazing person Roses.
Stuart Newsom Thank you, dude. I appreciate your ongoing support and your kind words, always. :)
PushingUpRoses Of course. Anytime. :-)
I love hearing stories like these but I hate that they exist. They give me hope. You're so strong. The hardest part to overcome is accepting positivities about yourself from others. It's impressive.
Your video really touched me, and I cried at many points. I was thinking to myself, your life up to this video was a lot like mine, I wish I could be as strong as you.
CocoaAndTea hi! I just saw this. I hope you are doing better now. Hello from uruguay! Be strong., and have a nice day.
Facts. Sarah is a great inspiration. Everyone has their flaws. Hella fine too!
This is honestly the most encouraging Draw My Life I've seen...it shows you progressing in life, rather than telling "there is hope"...
Sort of went through several similar things, and just now starting to get help...sort of helps...you know.
You are one of my favourite youtubers, and I'm so happy you were brave enough to tell us your story. Even if your channel is not as big as some, I guarantee you've inspired more people than you probably expect. That may sound generic as fuck, but I do mean it. Stay awesome, Roses!
I'm bipolar and have OD'ed myself and know what it's like to feel like the shittiest shit on the planet. I think its great that you're so open and honest about the issues you're facing, and it's great to see how well you're doing! Your drive and commitment to yourself and your creative outlet here is inspiring, and I want to give a thank you back for making all of your wonderful videos. :) You rock!
After watching this, I'm glad to see that you are doing so much better nowadays. You have a lot of fans and friends who support you and all.
I have never understood why every psychological illness is treated with pills... Psychologists are taught to deal with people who are going through psychological problems, and yet they just end up filling their patients up with pills.
I've always thought that, if you have to go through a lot of shit in life, you will start to appreciate the smaller or less visible things that most people miss. Like for example for most of us, friends are just a thing we have and therefore we maybe don't realize that some people there wish they'd have even 1 good friend to talk with.
Very inspiring video. :)
Repeeli I think medicine can be so beneficial for some people. For me and especially regarding bulimia though...it really didn't. It didn't seem like there was a good combination of medicine for that, and I found the most helpful thing to be support groups and behavioral therapy. Looking back, we obviously lacked the experience to fully understand meds and therapy, and I was just kind of thrown into it. I at least know more now. Sometimes I have anxiety, and I found certain meds does help to quell that.
Actually only Psychiatrist (because they are graduated in medicine) can give you pills. Psychologists can deal with the treatment in a better way, trying to heal with the time instead of giving some fast solution.
As a clinical psychologist who has worked with people with eating issues and body dysmorphic disorder, I appreciate your openness about your struggles that you shared in this video and your skin surgery video. So many of my clients think they are alone in their struggles and fear that they will never get better, and you are proof that with help and dedication life can get better. I'm glad that things are getting better for you and I'm glad you are working on your BDD. It's hard when we don't see ourselves the way others see us, or when we see things that we think of as being flaws that everyone can see. It takes a lot of work and training your brain to think in a different way, but you appear to be smart and introspective, so you have the tools you need. You can do it!
PushingUpRoses I first and foremost would like to let you know how much truly loved and appreciated your "Draw My Life". It touched me so deeply because your life Mirrors mine on SO many levels, I also struggled with self-image/self-esteem growing up, an eating disorder that I kept a secret (and still do from most people), as well as illness and depression. I really do want to thank you for creating this as well as your other content (Especially for building that Clue House with LGR lol... I LOVE That game and the Movie
As a person who works in the mental health field, it is always exciting to hear people’s stories of recovery... I am sure that your willingness to share this has provided hope to a lot of folks. Thank you for sharing your journey with us- and for all of the awesome content you create!
You are an amazing person. Coming from someone who still suffers with Depression, ADHD, and a few other things. I watched the video to the end and found so many different things that I could relate to. I love how open you were here, and it has definitely helped me. Keep up the good work, Roses, and thank you for sharing your story. Especially as my dad suffered through Brain Cancer recently, between you and LGR, you kept me going. He is alive and kicking, but the vertigo and uncertainty has returned. Thanks again, Roses.
I see a lot of myself in this DML video. Life is tough. But we have to hold our heads high and lean on those who support us. Glad to see that through it all you've made it this far.
Roses, you are you're amazing.
The rawness/honesty of this video really resonated with me- I've had my own issues with suicidal thoughts/depression and your videos are one of the things that have helped me get through some tough times. You're an inspiration.
Hey Roses,
I just wanted to say I love everything you do online. and after seeing your Drew My Life I am even more inspired by you than i was before. From your love of nostalgic video games to your love of the Monkees, I would say everything about you is amazing, special, and chocked full of great stuff!
I have struggled with a severe depression for many years. This video makes me wonder, how many are like me. How many broken men and women are there around the world, feeling lonely, isolated, ensnared in toxic feelings and can't get better? We who are going through this should help each other, should support each other, should be allies, friends. I feel we are companions somehow, companions in pain. We must not be alone, we must overcome our struggles together.
Thank you Roses, I came to this channel because my favorite game genre is adventure games, and I've always watched you like I watch a TV show, but now I see you as someone I can relate to, I see you as a person that could have been me, as someone I definitely would have stick around to in school, I see you as a companion.
(Just rode in off the Bayonetta DYKG video. Great work!)
It obviously took a great deal of courage to create this vid, and tell your story to the world. You seem pretty amazing, and it sucks that you had to go through those challenges. The world is richer for your success over them, so far. ;) No doubt your tale will help others who struggle with similar situations, too. Honored to be a new subscriber. :D
As someone who has depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and anorexia, with lots of time in therapy, treatment, all those steps. I even have had overdose attempts and have developed stomach problems. Listening to you talk about this so openly and it made me feel less alone on this sleepless night.
A lot of sadness here. Very open and humane. I like you! I can relate to some stories as well.
It's horrible that you've had to go through so much. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and a long history of self harm until around my mid 20s. I still get bad days but I managed to get myself under control. In a weird way I'm kind of glad I went through the things I did because I realised that you have no control over what happens to you in life but you do have control of your outlook and you can make that decision to become stronger for the experience. It's great that you've been able to find so much comfort and fulfillment through what you do on youtube and your content is great too.
It's extremely hard to talk about stuff like that. I've gone pretty much through same mental things as you, and you are right, they never go away but you learn how to manage it.
As somebody who lost a father to a lung disease (and a heavy person who struggles with self-worth problems) you had me in tears throughout this video. Kudos for your honesty and candor.
Like many others, I'm sure, I found you through LGR. I subscribed 'cause your humor won me over completely. I also do believe that you obsessing over something in a point and click adventure game with LGR had something to do with it. I stuck around because you are so unique and you always make me laugh. I can relate to having lost a father through illness. The last thing I remember my father saying is screaming the word 'help' 'cause he was in so much pain. That memory will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can't say it's any easier now than it is the day when I learned of his death. The only comfort I'll ever have is knowing he isn't in pain anymore. Keep fighting, Sarah. : ) We can do it! ^^
I'm so sorry you lost your dad... 2 and a half years ago my dad (age 57) died from pneumonia and it was so hard to deal with :( it's better now but both our dads will never be forgotten xxxx
madmonkey4eva Dads are special people. Hold onto those memories.
Hot damn.
NikaHarper Holy shit you're alive
how is your baby doing? im still playing league and i miss you league vids
+CarnO2x I was never pregnant.
NikaHarper
Holy shit you're still alive
i was just diagnosed with an eating disorder and really needed something like this -- i'm so glad i was able to hear all of this from someone whose videos i already really liked!! and thanks for reminding me that old favorites and familiar games can help sooth and relieve some anxiety and depression in your video about your favorites to play in that headspace. thank you for putting this out there.
I don't really know what to say, or how to put my feelings into words after watching this.
You're an incredibly strong and inspiring person for not allowing your demons to beat you & I hope the future continues to be better and better for you. As someone who suffers from GAD and depression I often find myself watching your videos to find a happy place, takes me back to being a little boy playing things like Wolfenstein and Doom on my parents PC. Thank you for getting this out there, it's helpful to know that I'm not alone.
I put off watching this for years because I had a feeling there'd be something about depression in it and I was struggling getting my own in check but after finally watching it I'm blown away. It's incredible that you managed to keep going through all that and even though I'm in a much better place now I still feel inspired to keep going.
Your content was always really funny and interesting but i had no idea you were so strong too! Thank you for making this.
Woah, I cried. I knew you had an interest in death but I never suspected things had been much worse than that. Thank you for sharing. Keep on creating and being you!
Wormetti I still have an interest in death, but it's an interest as opposed to a toxic obsession. I've tried to turn it into something good.
I'm amazing you can be so open here, Sarah. I'm also very grateful.
My life was nowhere near as plagued with tragedy as yours, but I was bullied all through elementary, middle, and high school about my weight, my glasses, my taste in media, just about everything. To know that someone else had a difficult time of it makes me feel better, looking back on it.
I know it's not remotely comparable to what happened to you, but thank you for sharing. It gives me hope for myself someday.
Probably the deepest "Draw My Life" I've ever seen. Most of them are more like "Draw My Career". I can identify with some elements of your story. I deal daily with suicidal ideation (not a desire to kill myself, but particularly vivid "Scrubs Fantasy Moments" where I step out in front of a bus, or jump off a building I'm walking by). Honestly, I think the only reason I'm alive today is because my self esteem was too low at one point to kill myself. I didn't consider myself to be worth the mess of a corpse. It was kinder to others to subsist.
Thank you for making this video. I'm 20 and dealing with a lot, jobless, severe mental health issues, feeling lost, and this video inspires me that things can change and I'll find myself. Thank you.
Hey, pushing up roses if you're reading this have a good day
Brickblox Why thank you.
I feel for you, roses. I've struggled with depression, and selfloathing, myself. I really enjoy your videos, and I'm happy you're still around to produce them.
ROSES YOU FREAKIN ROCK!
It takes a tonne of courage to do a video like this, and you've my eternal admiration for doing so. Stay strong!
You seem pretty swell and I'm touched by your story, count me in as another subscriber!
As someone who's married to someone with a history of varying mental illnesses, but have been lucky enough to not have any myself, I always appreciate it when someone is this candid about how things get. It helps me relate to her when its most important. So not only do things like this help those who feel the same way you do, but those who love them as well. Thanks.
Thanks for sharing this. It couldn't have been easy.
Your work has always served as an inspiration and seeing you out there helped give me the courage to give it a try. I'm glad I discovered your work.
Keep being awesome. I know you will.
Cheers!
I'm so proud of you for staying strong and making it through. I couldn't even imagine having to go through something like that. I'm so happy you're still here, because you make so many people like me laugh and help us carry on. Thank you. Your story is inspiring.
(I'm sorry if this comment is really long, I just want to share my experience and thank Roses in the process)
I'm studying to be a teacher and part of my decision to follow this career was, in part, thanks to some really awesome teachers that encouraged me to follow my dreams and never give up. I had a really low self esteem when I was a teen due to a really notorious physical imperfection that I had (until It was removed by surgery at the age of 20) and I was very introverted. But both my family and High School teachers kept helping me to become the person that I wanted to be and little by little I started to be more sociable and find some really awesome friends. I want to be a teacher because I know that not every kid/teen has my luck (specially in my country full of lazy ass teachers who don't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone) and I want to help them not only by teaching them proper English (yes I know, my English is still a little bit awkward) but also by being able to encourage them to be able to find what their own way to a happy and productive life. Your story really touched me Sarah and you are brave for sharing it with your viewers. I'm really glad that I found this channel by watching LGR, your let's plays got me hooked. Old School PC gaming forever!
rollingwolfang77 I don't mean to be rude, and I completely understand if you say no, but I'm just super curious. Are you willing to tell me what that physical imperfection was?
You are not rude at all. I had gynecomastia since I was 13 and it sucked. I was embarrased at the point that I could never take off my shirt in public (not even in front of my family), plus it was a really bad case and the glands were really inflamed (anyone would notice it even when I was wearing a coat and a lot of people in middle school made fun of me because of that). Luckily, and thanks to my father, I got totally rid of my gynecomastia when I was 20.
rollingwolfang77 Very brave of you for sharing that. I can understand your insecurity, but I am happy you were able to push through things and had awesome support from your family and teachers; that really does count for so much,
PushingUpRoses Your words mean a lot to me Roses, thank you. Keep up with your awesome content :D
A lot of my life mirrors yours, minus a few things. Suicide attempt, time in a hospital, "alternative" school, etc. I am currently fighting cancer myself, and it's really hard. I'm afraid a lot. Thank you for sharing your life, you're an inspiration.
That t was a very heartwrenching story. But you're a beautiful person, and I love your Channel.
Thanks for sharing this. I watched this a little while ago while my mom was dying. Your telling of what you felt and what happened when your father passed has been comforting now, as my mom just recently passed.
Thanks again.
It appears you are some kind of god because nothing can seem to kill you.
Freako I didn't think they let you out of the weird part of the internet XD
Freako I'm kind of like Keith Richards in that respect.
you are an inspiration to me.
proof that no matter how bad things get, it can and will get better.
your videos were one of the things that helped me make it through my own near-suicidal depressive episode.
Man, and I thought Markiplier's DML was heartbreaking...
manegirl93416 His is heartbreaking. Just in a different way than mine. I thought his was extremely touching.
Huh! So you actually know who that is! Nice!
manegirl93416 I do, yes! I like Markiplier. Not only is he entertaining, but he also seems like a really cool, caring dude.
IKR?!
You know, I love markiplier, and I've never watched this person. But knowing she likes markiplier a bit, and this vid is good. Subscribed
Your description of your struggle with bulimia describes my struggle with self-harm. I haven't cut in about a year, but I still think about doing it again at least once a week. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one with an irrational desire for self harm, or as I called it, self punishment, and that there are people who have overcome it enough to control it. Thank you for showing me that there is light in the fucked up blackness that is mental illness
Saying that You are an inspiration is truly an understatement Roses ;)
I was writing a long comment but then lost it all because the video ended and it was all erased. I just wanted to say that I also suffer from depression and body issues. I suffered many traumas as a kid including home invasion and murder. Long story short, I really appreciate your video, especially this one. This video has been inspirational and has helped me think about how I could communicate my feelings. MEDs are terrible:( I have felt the same feelings that you have had in the past. I am glad you are here with us. Thank you Sarah! Keep being strong. - Kris
BTW You are sexy. You need to know that yourself but I hope that a little external confirmation will help.
its sad that no one looks into why people act a certain way. if someone tries to commit suicide they are immediately considered insane and crazy, and it...it makes me disappointed in the human race. no one once asks why people try to commit suicide, its just an immediet "you are going insane" and that's it, which makes me just...just sad and its not okay especially since the "treatments" only make people worse... I want to just scream to every asylum "DID YOU ONCE ASK THEM WHY THEY WANT TO DIE?!?!?!" I'm sorry ill stop. I'm gonna regret typing this I just know it
You shouldn't have to regret typing something like this. That sort of mentality is an issue, and more people need to think as such.
kinda teared up watching this. my awkward personality and acne made my scholastic career pretty unpleasant. this led of course to self esteem issues that later led to drug addiction. music kept me going but wasn't enough to pull myself out of the hole i was in. i remember watching avgn, lgr, and your videos on those hard nights where i just didn't see the point in trying anymore. it helped me realize that there ARE people who have similar interests to me and that i should spend my time trying to find those kind of people instead of being upset about all of the people who had hurt me or didn't like me. thank you for posting this.
Which alternative school were you sent to? I was sent to one as well... >_>
I've been going through a lot recently, especially regarding mental illness, and I just found your channel from ProJared. I've been binging recently because I love your brand of humor and the content you create. And the amount of quality content you create as well. You help me to smile when it is becoming increasingly harder to do so, and I appreciate your videos so much for that. I'm so very glad you made it through your difficult times and it gives me hope that I will make it through mine as well. Thank you so much
Your Content is great and you ARE VERY beautiful
I know how you feel, when i was growing up i didnt have the best childhood & it affected me in secondary school (high school) & into my early 20's. Im 31 now & im still a bit messed up but now im happy how i am (if people think im weird etc). Anyway have a big :) from me
Wow... Girl you have literally been to hell and back.. wow..
Um yeah, who hasn't?
I saw your grimfandango reveiw and after hearing you talk about your dad it was really uplifting. my dad died when I was 13 and I've still been dealing with it for the past 7 years and you talking about it really did help me so thanks PUR and keep up the good work!
*HUGZ*
It's amazing that you are here sharing these things so freely. Thank you.
i don't understand how a therapist can think that giving someone, who has thoughts of suicide, pills was a good idea. It takes genuine care and work to help someone through those moments in life.
Almost every therapist does that. Most doctors simply dont care as its standard procedure for nearly all symptoms in the book.
that's disappointing
Look, I've never been through any kind of suicidal depression or anything before, but I know someone who has and I know for a fact how much they help her, and how glad she is that she's able to take them. I'm not saying they're universally the answer, but if they can help her deal with those thoughts and fears then they are at least occasionally justified.
***** It does help in some cases. Other cases (especially really serious ones)... not so much. I think some practitioners are more qualified for handing out medications than in-depth treatment.
Logan Renfrow Has she stopped taking them? Some people get addicted to it from time to time and cant live without them anymore.
So many people, so much technology, so much progress and so much abundance, yet a 60% percent increase in suicides in the last 45 years. So much loneliness, yet so much bravery in this video. You're a veteran, lucky to still be alive. Love your videos and looking forward to new ones!
Man, what is up with UA-camrs having really depressing backstories?
They are people.
Well, that's the first time any media has brought be to tears in a long time. Thanks for sharing, Sarah. We love you.