To the person who asked how to start dating at 30 when you never have dated anyone at all - I'm 31 and 2 months into my first real relationship ever. I'm having a great experience because I found a woman who is kind, thoughtful, and understanding. She knows that everything is new. My advice is to not settle for anything less than someone who will understand, go at your pace, and make you feel celebrated.
Great advice! I didn't start dating until late twenties. So I can relate. One huge benefit was that by the time that I started dating, I was better at saying what I wanted and needed. I was better at setting good boundaries. Wasn't perfect at any of these things of course. But I wasn't the people pleaser I had been as a teenager. So I second the above advice. take your time. Get to know people. And find somebody who respects you and your needs
Mak with the wig off and the lipstick is kinda giving Robert Smith of The Cure, as opposed to Sia dragged backwards through a ditch. And Alayna looks like she should be in the video for the Toybox song 'Sailor Song' from the 2000s. 😂
Also I just want to validate the person who is 30 and never dated anyone, I'm 26 and never dated anyone because I was bullied so much growing up for my size, and now have this mindset that no one could possibly be attracted to which I'm trying really hard to work through. I don't know what the person who submitted the question's situation is, but I'm bisexual and in my late 20s and still have never dated anyone, so I just want that person to know they're not alone!
Me too! My first date was at age 31 and Ashley’s advice is solid but easier said than done 😅 I’m still working on just having fun and not putting too much pressure on myself.
I love that Alayna has spider hallucinations. I mean I hate it for her, but I have those hallucinations too! I've seen my room FILLED with spiders, and other things, so many times. I haven't seen anybody else talk about that.
I'm 28, asexual, and have also never dated anyone ever. Lately, I've been considering dating for the first time. Thank you for your insight, it was actually very helpful and gave me a lot to think about
I'm 36 and I've never dated either. Had plenty of opportunity but I was just never interested at the time. I'm arospec asexual. As a teen I did not know this and kept waiting for the feelings to come that people kept claiming would. In my 20s I finally learned about asexuality and then later aromanticism. Now knowing that those applied to me, I had no reason to keep looking for those supposed feelings. When I was 32 I had a bit of a shift and started feeling a little bit of something but it's hard to hold on to and it doesn't come easily for me. I think I might be interested in dating now but it's going to be very difficult. People have their own paths through life and move at different paces. I agree with what Alayna said: I think I do have an advantage in dating in some aspects. My slate is blank. No past dating trauma, I'm not stuck in a heteronormative dating mindset which I could have gotten stuck in if I had tried dating guys in my teens (back when I assumed I must be straight), etc. I think I have a pretty healthy view of relationships and of myself. I've done practically nothing but spend time with myself, becoming confident and whole, independent of another person. Also, yes Ashley, I'm definitely gonna be bad at it. 😅
I love horror movies because it gives my brain a chance to be “scared” of something that can’t hurt me rather than my own real life things I’m afraid of.
My rebel side will never submit to Ashley yelling that we must subscribe to the patreon. So thx to all the people who are willing to donate because I love watching this content.
To bolster what Mak was maybe saying, most of the lessons you can learn from trauma can also be learned by challenging yourself in a controlled, non-trauma, setting. It's true that my specific traumas have taught me stuff, but I could have learned those same things through therapy, or with solid mentors
Ok but when I lived in missouri last year I dressed up as a straight girl for halloween and this is exactly what it felt like so I feel seen. Thank you Mak for the representation
I think we can all agree that Mak is officially the Czar of questions 😉👍 But sincerely, appreciate you keeping the fam on track with making sure Patreon is being considered haha
I am 29, and I have only dated one person at 18 for a few months and another at 23 for two months. I think the reason is that I have such a bad fear of emotional and physical intimacy; it just takes away my all interest
I have been a pretty straight line type, but I was always there wishing I could check out the peaks and valleys like others were. I felt too scared to go low, and too inadequate to go up. Now my goal is to be in the middle by choice and to find they joy that resides there.
Obviously the burst of gut laughter I experienced during the first 30 seconds reminded me who the comedian is on this Pod. I love yous guysy!!! Ash, you da man!
I am the person who listened to this in the morning while I was on my run but later had to come watch it on UA-cam because I didn’t want to miss out on Mak as Barbie 😅😂
23:37 as a person with a highly active imagination, personally, I cannot relate to this 😂 I know it’s not real but my brain is like “but what if it is?” I usually have to watch a kids show after a horror movie to cleanse my brain lmao
Mak in lipstick gave me flashbacks to the gender dysphoria I felt wearing makeup to prom, back when I didn't have words for how weird it made me feel. 😂
Re: straight line or peaks and valleys, whenever someone calls me “resilient,” I think “yeah but I wish I didn’t have to be.” I’m happy with who I am, but I didn’t need these traumas. But/and I know it’s made my life more… life-y.
I’m a peaks a valleys gal. As someone who was a sociopath most of my life, peaks and valleys is how I healed myself and gained empathy. I needed extreme situations and contrasts to be able to finally connect to other humans. It’s more about integrating the full human experience than glorifying disability or illness, etc… but I know not all people have the same end goal and for probably many the flat line is a more constructive goal to have.
the extreme highs and lows can be really difficult, but if you are living a life that is a completely straight line it might be indicative of hiding away from truly living. i think it really depends on where that line is if that makes sense, like if it is in the middle or low or high. I also heard a quote about how trying to control the highs and lows completely means you flatline, and you stop living. idrk though, i think i see both sides of it.
Probably some people are gonna think Ashley is mean or whatever but Ashley roasting Mak and Alayna was so fucking funny 😂 Seriously made my morning. Also I'm wearing earbuds because I watch this pod super early in the morning and don't want to wake up my apartment neighbors, but this morning it was futile because I was laughing so hard 😂
If it makes you feel better, most of those ppl have fucked off and my shows and the comment sections are so much better now, and it’s making me feel freer and consequently funnier.
23:50 the correlation with horror movies and anxiety is so real ime. I’ve loved horror movies, games, & haunted houses (like GOOD ones where they touch you and shit) etc my whole life. I’ve had anxiety my entire life, as long as I can remember. I was that kid with no nails and a red ass bottom lip (from sucking on it) lmao. The best way I can explain it is there’s something kinda comforting about being able to control your anxiety, and the relief that it isn’t real.. even when in the moment it sorta feels that way. Idk lol. I hope some people with anxiety understand what I’m talking about 😆
Not a huge horror game player or film watcher but I *definitely* understand enjoying the thrill of haunted houses and rollercoaster drops, etc. In the right doses and with a set end time, feeling fear can definitely be a thrill!
I've seen only a couple of minutes of this so far. You're always fantastic. This is priceless. Priceless. After watching all the way through: a higher level of hysterically funny. I appreciate so much that you make my day.
Alayna being serious, thinking about the question in her little sailor outfit was sending me 😂 Also I was getting massive Harry Styles vibes from the outfit. I think it was the glasses that did it.
as much as Alayna is right with that you would miss out on important parts of the human experience when you don´t have extreme peaks and vallys, you do so in both ways. as someone with more ups and downs than I would have liked to, I do miss out on many important human experiences, because of all the trauma. there had been so many important key experiences that people around had, matching the life chapter they´re in, that I could not participate in. So no matter how your life is going, you´re going to miss out on so many important parts of the human experience, because you´re just one person and that is ok. nobody is going to have the full spectrum of human experience. That is why connecting with others and sharing ones experiences is so important and wonderful.
The reality of my transition is I lost the ability to just sit and people watch as a passing FTM. Breaks my heart and makes me really empathize with cis men on the burden of assumption.
about the straight line vs peaks and valleys, im at this moment a peaks and valleys because im in a straight line right now, but my baseline is low. my life is generally uneventful and nothing really horrible is happening but nothing good or even neutral is happening. i think i would rather get to experience those high highs and sacrifice those low lows so i dont need to be as stuck in the low but not too low i'm in now. in the long run? straight line with a higher baseline.
33:31 Thank you!!! I was screaming the same thing last episode when they were talking about a soundboard when we have a soundboard genius in the house!!!🤦🏻♀️
So in the peaks & valley's convo - I think we need the valley's (to a certain extent) to appreciate the peaks. Im ridiculously happy now but if my wife & I had started dating earlier, I know I wouldn't have appreciated her as much. I don't think it means you have to go through fully awful things, but even a slight valley can teach us things!
“Are you Sia? What is happening?” 😂😂😂😂 “Walk of Shame Barbie”!!!!😂😂😂😂
Ashley's dad rant about the soundboard was giving Gordon Ramsay, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard as that whole segment
To the person who asked how to start dating at 30 when you never have dated anyone at all - I'm 31 and 2 months into my first real relationship ever. I'm having a great experience because I found a woman who is kind, thoughtful, and understanding. She knows that everything is new. My advice is to not settle for anything less than someone who will understand, go at your pace, and make you feel celebrated.
Great advice! I didn't start dating until late twenties. So I can relate. One huge benefit was that by the time that I started dating, I was better at saying what I wanted and needed. I was better at setting good boundaries. Wasn't perfect at any of these things of course. But I wasn't the people pleaser I had been as a teenager.
So I second the above advice. take your time. Get to know people. And find somebody who respects you and your needs
I feel like not licking people at meet and greets is common sense, but sometimes the world surprises you.
Mak without the wig= Some kind of avant garde male 1980s singer
Ashley=DILF (no change there)
Alayna= Nautical Elton John
“You’re regret Barbie” LMAO
Ashley feeling uncomfortable with Mak in the wig is a total vibe! 😂🤣😂
Mak with the wig off and the lipstick is kinda giving Robert Smith of The Cure, as opposed to Sia dragged backwards through a ditch. And Alayna looks like she should be in the video for the Toybox song 'Sailor Song' from the 2000s. 😂
Ashley’s smile when she saw Alayna’s Sailor Barbie was so cute ✨🤪
Mak is channeling weird barbie 😂Had to pause the audio podcast to come watch it here and see the reveal
I'm laughing so much at Alayna being so serious while wearing those glasses
Ashley to Mak: "Thank you Chad for comparing your ice baths to my disability." Uhhh laughing so hard
Also I just want to validate the person who is 30 and never dated anyone, I'm 26 and never dated anyone because I was bullied so much growing up for my size, and now have this mindset that no one could possibly be attracted to which I'm trying really hard to work through. I don't know what the person who submitted the question's situation is, but I'm bisexual and in my late 20s and still have never dated anyone, so I just want that person to know they're not alone!
ditto!!
I'm also 26 and never dated anyone!
Me too! My first date was at age 31 and Ashley’s advice is solid but easier said than done 😅 I’m still working on just having fun and not putting too much pressure on myself.
me too, and i am 29! and my few dating experiences for a 3 months were really bad.. thats why i havent dated anyone the last 6 years
and thats ok! :)
34 and never dated here🤚
I've been on dates but never more than 2 with the same person and only a handful.
The reactions to Macs costume, I’m absolutely dead 😭
Them addressing each other as Barbie made me chuckle. I just love that concept of calling all girls Barbies 😂. Wholesome content
There’s just something about Alayna giving the most wise and heartfelt insight I’ve ever heard while wearing a kid’s sailor uniform
I love that Alayna has spider hallucinations. I mean I hate it for her, but I have those hallucinations too! I've seen my room FILLED with spiders, and other things, so many times. I haven't seen anybody else talk about that.
the jumpscare wig reveal took me out, thank you, Mak. Fantastic work!
This episode is a hazard! I'm home alone and I almost choked when Ashley said "wet porcupine"
WAIT, Imma go watch the last ep again so I can agree with all the points in Ashley's list just for the fun of it!
okay i'm back, and yes, everything Ashley said is so true. Everything in that list is true and factual, and correct
I'm 28, asexual, and have also never dated anyone ever. Lately, I've been considering dating for the first time. Thank you for your insight, it was actually very helpful and gave me a lot to think about
Elite Weird Barbie Mak, Kate McKinnon would approve
Where can i buy regret Barbie lol?
"You think I look like Jennifer Anniston?" "Not at all what I'm saying" 😆😆
I am 6 minutes in and it literally hurts from how much I'm smiling
I'm 36 and I've never dated either. Had plenty of opportunity but I was just never interested at the time. I'm arospec asexual. As a teen I did not know this and kept waiting for the feelings to come that people kept claiming would. In my 20s I finally learned about asexuality and then later aromanticism. Now knowing that those applied to me, I had no reason to keep looking for those supposed feelings. When I was 32 I had a bit of a shift and started feeling a little bit of something but it's hard to hold on to and it doesn't come easily for me. I think I might be interested in dating now but it's going to be very difficult.
People have their own paths through life and move at different paces. I agree with what Alayna said: I think I do have an advantage in dating in some aspects. My slate is blank. No past dating trauma, I'm not stuck in a heteronormative dating mindset which I could have gotten stuck in if I had tried dating guys in my teens (back when I assumed I must be straight), etc. I think I have a pretty healthy view of relationships and of myself. I've done practically nothing but spend time with myself, becoming confident and whole, independent of another person.
Also, yes Ashley, I'm definitely gonna be bad at it. 😅
Dad is back 😂😂
The family appreciates him a little more...finally 😂
FINALLY
@@ashgavs 😂🤣
I lmao sooo hard while Ashley went full father mode and read list of things they did wrong last time 😂
I love horror movies because it gives my brain a chance to be “scared” of something that can’t hurt me rather than my own real life things I’m afraid of.
Also but what if you’re just a 32 year old who loves to swing on a swing lol 😂
I gotta say, every time Ashley takes her hat off to reveal her hair, I FEEL something...
Alayna recognizing Jennifer Anistons mouth and exact lipstick shade is peak sapphic
I actually really relate to the recognizing peaks and valleys in retrospect - especially when it comes to romantic emotions
"I just want to be horizontal and be safe" is a Hinge profile for the age
I fully agree that Mak with the cat eye and lip gloss was a look! Giving lesbian mechanic barbie 😂
My rebel side will never submit to Ashley yelling that we must subscribe to the patreon. So thx to all the people who are willing to donate because I love watching this content.
Yeah I just don't have the money for it, so very glad that others do!
Ashley's ~alright, show dad your cool new clothes~ vibe is so spot on 😂 equal parts 'lets get this over with' and real adoration ❤
To bolster what Mak was maybe saying, most of the lessons you can learn from trauma can also be learned by challenging yourself in a controlled, non-trauma, setting. It's true that my specific traumas have taught me stuff, but I could have learned those same things through therapy, or with solid mentors
Ok but when I lived in missouri last year I dressed up as a straight girl for halloween and this is exactly what it felt like so I feel seen. Thank you Mak for the representation
Mak' "lesbian who was sent on a conversion camp Barbie" is now my costume for Halloween 😤
Alayna's smile could melt the SUN!
I think we can all agree that Mak is officially the Czar of questions 😉👍
But sincerely, appreciate you keeping the fam on track with making sure Patreon is being considered haha
This brings me so much joy, the dynamic is my favorite. 🤣❤ got tickets to see Ashley in 25 days for my bday 🎉🥰
I am 29, and I have only dated one person at 18 for a few months and another at 23 for two months. I think the reason is that I have such a bad fear of emotional and physical intimacy; it just takes away my all interest
I have been a pretty straight line type, but I was always there wishing I could check out the peaks and valleys like others were. I felt too scared to go low, and too inadequate to go up. Now my goal is to be in the middle by choice and to find they joy that resides there.
Mak needs more love she did a good job Omg she has make up even
Mak DOES look kinda hot with the cat eye 🤣🤣🤣
The first thing I thought of when they brought up the soundboard was the fact that Ashley literally has one for her other pod😂
The peaks and valleys reach you to be grateful for a straight consistent line of happiness
Obviously the burst of gut laughter I experienced during the first 30 seconds reminded me who the comedian is on this Pod. I love yous guysy!!! Ash, you da man!
Yes, Ashley! Horizontal and safe!
This went from dad rant to community theater director rant. ❤
Mac revealing punk ‘it’s not a phase’ lil brother vibes without the wig 🤘
Actually, I think Mak being in Missouri makes the whole costume better
The amount of times I have rewatched and watched 2:52 - 2:58 is unreal because my stomach hurts so fucking bad I almost pissed myself
I’m so glad Ashley is back with the roasts😂 I love it!!❤️
I am the person who listened to this in the morning while I was on my run but later had to come watch it on UA-cam because I didn’t want to miss out on Mak as Barbie 😅😂
23:37 as a person with a highly active imagination, personally, I cannot relate to this 😂 I know it’s not real but my brain is like “but what if it is?” I usually have to watch a kids show after a horror movie to cleanse my brain lmao
The Costumes are EVERYTHING!!! I wanna go as ✨️Mak as Barbie✨️ now for Halloween❤❤😂 Happy Halloween & Fall to everyone❤❤❤
Mak in lipstick gave me flashbacks to the gender dysphoria I felt wearing makeup to prom, back when I didn't have words for how weird it made me feel. 😂
LOVED this episode! I laughed so hard. Thanks for the good start to my day, chosen family 🌞
Re: straight line or peaks and valleys, whenever someone calls me “resilient,” I think “yeah but I wish I didn’t have to be.” I’m happy with who I am, but I didn’t need these traumas. But/and I know it’s made my life more… life-y.
Ashley going off about the soundboard was exactly like my dad going off when I fucked up as a kid😂😂😂😭
This episode is so f’ing hilarious
i always look forward to this podcast😂❤️ all my favorite people
Off topic but Alayna slayed her look❤😍
I Love this podcast so much, it’s a solid part of my Wednesday routine by now
I’m a peaks a valleys gal. As someone who was a sociopath most of my life, peaks and valleys is how I healed myself and gained empathy. I needed extreme situations and contrasts to be able to finally connect to other humans. It’s more about integrating the full human experience than glorifying disability or illness, etc… but I know not all people have the same end goal and for probably many the flat line is a more constructive goal to have.
the extreme highs and lows can be really difficult, but if you are living a life that is a completely straight line it might be indicative of hiding away from truly living. i think it really depends on where that line is if that makes sense, like if it is in the middle or low or high. I also heard a quote about how trying to control the highs and lows completely means you flatline, and you stop living. idrk though, i think i see both sides of it.
Probably some people are gonna think Ashley is mean or whatever but Ashley roasting Mak and Alayna was so fucking funny 😂 Seriously made my morning.
Also I'm wearing earbuds because I watch this pod super early in the morning and don't want to wake up my apartment neighbors, but this morning it was futile because I was laughing so hard 😂
If it makes you feel better, most of those ppl have fucked off and my shows and the comment sections are so much better now, and it’s making me feel freer and consequently funnier.
23:50 the correlation with horror movies and anxiety is so real ime. I’ve loved horror movies, games, & haunted houses (like GOOD ones where they touch you and shit) etc my whole life. I’ve had anxiety my entire life, as long as I can remember. I was that kid with no nails and a red ass bottom lip (from sucking on it) lmao.
The best way I can explain it is there’s something kinda comforting about being able to control your anxiety, and the relief that it isn’t real.. even when in the moment it sorta feels that way. Idk lol. I hope some people with anxiety understand what I’m talking about 😆
Not a huge horror game player or film watcher but I *definitely* understand enjoying the thrill of haunted houses and rollercoaster drops, etc. In the right doses and with a set end time, feeling fear can definitely be a thrill!
I just wanted to say not dating till late sounds maybe an asexual spectrum experience. Something else to consider!
I've had HUGE peaks and valleys and I would still always choose that over flat... I would never want to give up the peaks!
I always enjoy hat-free Ashley!😍😍
2:56 THE RAW CUT TO MAC 😂😂😭😭😭
Love this podcast!
Mak's eye makeup is actually really cute and i juat felt that needed some appreciation here. Her gf did a good job
SIMPING FOR CAPTAIN ALAYNA
I've seen only a couple of minutes of this so far. You're always fantastic. This is priceless. Priceless.
After watching all the way through: a higher level of hysterically funny. I appreciate so much that you make my day.
Are you Sia?! 😂😂😂That was exactly what I thought 😂😂😂
Ashley at 2:33 looks like she's admiring Alayna then remembered she was being filmed 😂
Had to come back to this one. The bits are sooo funny!! 😂😂 (for the gen z 💀)
This episode is so cute 😂
"are you Sia" had me on the floor
LOVE you all so much!!!!!❤❤❤
Alayna being serious, thinking about the question in her little sailor outfit was sending me 😂 Also I was getting massive Harry Styles vibes from the outfit. I think it was the glasses that did it.
I love the podcast been following since day one I don’t believe it’s been 53 episodes already.
7:59 I like that Mak is drinking a „blonde“ roast, wearing a blonde wig to impersonate Barbara Millicent Roberts.
as much as Alayna is right with that you would miss out on important parts of the human experience when you don´t have extreme peaks and vallys, you do so in both ways. as someone with more ups and downs than I would have liked to, I do miss out on many important human experiences, because of all the trauma. there had been so many important key experiences that people around had, matching the life chapter they´re in, that I could not participate in. So no matter how your life is going, you´re going to miss out on so many important parts of the human experience, because you´re just one person and that is ok. nobody is going to have the full spectrum of human experience. That is why connecting with others and sharing ones experiences is so important and wonderful.
The reality of my transition is I lost the ability to just sit and people watch as a passing FTM. Breaks my heart and makes me really empathize with cis men on the burden of assumption.
Hahaha!! I love it! Mak This is Spinal Tap!!!
This is friggin’ hilarious!! 😂 Love you all! I want to be the “Hot Auntie”!! 😂😂😂🎉
I'm only 3 minutes in and this is now my favorite episode
about the straight line vs peaks and valleys, im at this moment a peaks and valleys because im in a straight line right now, but my baseline is low. my life is generally uneventful and nothing really horrible is happening but nothing good or even neutral is happening. i think i would rather get to experience those high highs and sacrifice those low lows so i dont need to be as stuck in the low but not too low i'm in now. in the long run? straight line with a higher baseline.
What I'm doing is watching every week 😁
Ashley came back strong, I couldn't stop laughing this episode
33:31 Thank you!!! I was screaming the same thing last episode when they were talking about a soundboard when we have a soundboard genius in the house!!!🤦🏻♀️
The way Mak just popped up on the screen 😂
So in the peaks & valley's convo - I think we need the valley's (to a certain extent) to appreciate the peaks. Im ridiculously happy now but if my wife & I had started dating earlier, I know I wouldn't have appreciated her as much. I don't think it means you have to go through fully awful things, but even a slight valley can teach us things!
Awwww Dad, how I missed your roasting the whole family ❤
The question was amazing 🤯