@@Ogrematic The sun didn't used to set, but as a toddler Chuck Norris was cranky and trying to take a nap in the grass, but the sun was bright and annoying in his eyes. So he jumped up and kicked it. Ever since, the sun has set at nap time out of fear.
The state that Chuck Norris lives in wanted to honor him by naming a street after him. Chuck gracefully declined. He explained that "Nobody would be able to cross Chuck Norris and live."
Nobody mentions that Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He’s at least 70 in this scene but still looks 15 to 20 years younger. When Alex Graham invented the phone, he has 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris😄
Well, since everyone does their favorite Chuck Norris joke... When the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks the closet to see that Chuck Norris isn't there.
Chuck Norris went to Chevy dealership to buy a brand new Ford F-150 pick up truck and bought it. To this day,the owner of the Chevy dealership doesn't know how he pulled it off.
Chuck Norris‘ cowboy boots are made out of real cowboys. Chuck Norris has already counted to infinity. Twice. Superman and Chuck Norris once had a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear above his suit.
Two things. First I loved the look on Stallone face when after firing off his last round every one started dying . Second did you hear Chuck died 5 years ago but Death too scared to tell him.
Death came in and left after getting kicked square into the jaw saying “fuck this I’ll get him when he’s 90, it’ll probably be more of an even fight then”
Probably the best collection of Chuck Norris anecdotes and jokes ever are on this page. Chuck is not "a legend", he is "The Legend". Take care and stay safe.
Darn. I posted a similar joke, though slightly different. I hadn’t seen yours when I posted mine. Good one though. Mine reads: When Chuck Norris does his push-ups in the morning, NASA has to recalibrate all of its telescopes because of how far he pushes the Earth.
It's my new favourite! My old favourite was "Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because The Dark is afraid of Chuck Norris"
Спасибо за детство Сталонне.Дольф.ЧакНоррис. Шварцнеггер.ВанДам. это кумиры 1 000 000 парней . сколько хороших парней выросло на ваших фильмах ! Живите долго ! привет из РОССИИ))))))).
Chuck Norris once punched a wall in 1989. The Berlin Wall was never rebuilt after that. Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of death. Death is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does his push-ups in the morning, NASA has to recalibrate all of its telescopes because of how far he pushes the Earth. Gotta say this comments section is chalk-full of good Chuck Norris jokes.
This scene is EXCATLY why the expendables was brilliant. Over the Top action 80s boom! Most of the actors from that time acknowledging how ridiculous it actually was. Tropic Thunder was comedians making fun of 80s action. Expendables was action stars making fun of it. They too a normally serious 80s action plot with cheesy lines but actually made fun of the cheesiest. John Wick brought back a good action.
Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land. Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees. Chuck Norris' House has no doors. Just walls he walks through.
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to live. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can swim on land. Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris throws one lucky child into the sun. Chuck Norris officially holds every world record. The Guinness book just lists the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris. Great man. Great actor. Great martial artist. Good 2 see him in this great movie. I wish his friend bruce lee lived longer, they would have done more great movies 2geda.
The amount of muscle the guys have to be able to move there faces into different expressions such as a smile is intense. Once u pin the skin only the greats can maneuver it. Also they all grow really dark facial hair. Pretty neat
![Neo vs Merovingian | The Matrix Reloaded [IMAX]](/img/n.gif)
When Chuck Norris tells a joke about himself = life complete
CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS
i think i hear his wife tell him to add a joke about him in the movie
For this comment, YT didnt need a downvote Button.
JOKE? You mean FACT.
When Chuk Norris tells the joke he is not joking)
After all these years Chuck Norris jokes are still hilarious and only thing better is Chuck embracing them himself!
The Sun does not set. It hides from Chuck Norris.
It would really suck if he had resisted it.
@@E-MAN979 He thinks it's funny. I have the book.
@@Ogrematic The sun didn't used to set, but as a toddler Chuck Norris was cranky and trying to take a nap in the grass, but the sun was bright and annoying in his eyes.
So he jumped up and kicked it.
Ever since, the sun has set at nap time out of fear.
@@danielboatright8887 And it never misses a day...
The state that Chuck Norris lives in wanted to honor him by naming a street after him. Chuck gracefully declined. He explained that "Nobody would be able to cross Chuck Norris and live."
He also declined the offer from Charmin to create a line of toilet paper to honor him. It was because Chuck Norris doesn't take shit from anyone.
@@carlbruschnigjr1757 I'm dead 💀 🤣 😭
He’s the only being who can drown a fish
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits
When Chuck Norris moved out at 18,he told his father, Dad you're the man of the house now.
LEGEND 👏🏾🤣
Lmao
Chuck is the only person that can strike a match on a bar soap
@@balls433 lol good one
I heard when he turned 18, his parents moved out.
Chuck Norris thought it would be funny to pee in the gas tank of a semi truck,today that truck is known as Optimus Prime.
Oh man, this one is gold.
Lmao wtf
Fun fact: chuck norris didn’t have a rocket launcher, the cannon the tank shot returned to sender after chuck told it to.
By the time Chuck Norris was born, he slapped the doctor for not crying.
Sly: How many pushups you do?
Chuck: All of them.. 😂😂
That’s hilarious 😅😅😅
Mad🤣🤣🤣🤣
Underrated
Chuck doesn’t push himself up. He pushes the world away.
@@Brentisimo this!
Nobody mentions that Chuck Norris doesn’t age. He’s at least 70 in this scene but still looks 15 to 20 years younger.
When Alex Graham invented the phone, he has 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris😄
Chuck Norris is immortal. He already lived through all time and is now going around again for the third time.
iirc, his 82nd Birthday is on March, 10th.
@@KrautGoesWild and still looks 40 😀. Dude is a real legend.
The boogeyman checks for Chuck Norris in his closet before he goes to bed. 😅
@@don_man "Let there be light!"
- god
"Say 'please' first!"
- Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't age. Age Chuck Norrises.
Funfact: Deadpool might’ve broken the 4th wall, but Chuck Norris broke all 16 walls.
Rumor said that chuck norris not broke any wall
Wall broke itself
Nice how Chuck Norris allowed them to play in his movie.
😂😂🤣🤣👍🏾
It's so awesome they worked two Chuck Norris jokes/facts into the scene. That's pure genius right there.
Chuck Norris does not do pushups. The Earth moves up and down under him.
Wait what was the second joke?
@@furionmax7824 -
The first joke was "Rumor has it you were dead", to which Booker replies, "Yeah, I heard that too." The second one is the cobra.
Don’t forget the “Lone Wolf McQuaid” line! At least that’s what I took from it.
@@Ogrematic that is zlatan fact
Well, since everyone does their favorite Chuck Norris joke... When the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks the closet to see that Chuck Norris isn't there.
Nowadays the bogeyman checks for John Wick
Glad the algorithm brought us back together in 2022 to enjoy some Chuck Norris
The best thing about all these legendary actors is that they all survived the 80s music scene.. and lived to tell about it 😎
Love the reference to "Lone Wolf McQuade".
Death once had a near chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris went into a burger King asked for a big Mac.............. and got it!
Hahaha! Haven't heard that one.
Chuck Norris went to Chevy dealership to buy a brand new Ford F-150 pick up truck and bought it. To this day,the owner of the Chevy dealership doesn't know how he pulled it off.
Chuck Norris coming in made my freaking day. And the cobra strory...AWESOME! hahaha
Chuck Norris went to a McDonald’s and was given a T-Bone steak dinner. To this day the manager still has no clue how he did it?
Chuck Norris‘ cowboy boots are made out of real cowboys.
Chuck Norris has already counted to infinity. Twice.
Superman and Chuck Norris once had a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear above his suit.
That joke about the cobra was outstanding 🤣🤣🤣
Especially Stallone's reaction to it.
Two things. First I loved the look on Stallone face when after firing off his last round every one started dying .
Second did you hear Chuck died 5 years ago but Death too scared to tell him.
I heard it was 20 years ago.
Wait did chuck actually die?
@@mrkrimsonj114
Yes he did, but he's better now.
Death came in and left after getting kicked square into the jaw saying “fuck this I’ll get him when he’s 90, it’ll probably be more of an even fight then”
😂
Loki: I have an army
Stark: we have a hulk
Uncle Sam: that's cute... hey chuck!
Lol
which is why Chuck Norris is not part of the MCU.
@@jaquigreenlees They could still cast him, he would just be the One Above All.
LoL 😂 yes ‼️😂🇺🇸🦸🏼✝️🇺🇲‼️🦸🏼 by Chuck Norris
Bruce banner gets mad he turns into the hulk. When the hulk gets mad he turns into............well you get it.
Did you all know chuck went to a feminist rally and came back with a sandwich and his shirt ironed
The last gay pride parade Chuck Norris went to, was at Sodom and Gomorrah..
Chuck Norris is the only man on Earth who can mail a roundhouse kick.
Because he's a big pussy in real life.😆
@@snapdragon9300 He just heard you type that.
@@Ogrematic chuck norris killed him before he posted the comment
Probably the best collection of Chuck Norris anecdotes and jokes ever are on this page. Chuck is not "a legend", he is "The Legend". Take care and stay safe.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush a commode, he SCARES the shit out of it!
Chuck NOrris doesn't do Push Ups. He pushes the Earth DOWN
Darn. I posted a similar joke, though slightly different. I hadn’t seen yours when I posted mine. Good one though.
Mine reads:
When Chuck Norris does his push-ups in the morning, NASA has to recalibrate all of its telescopes because of how far he pushes the Earth.
1 chuck norris >ten armies
1 man army lone wolf 🐺
Chuck Norris once found out that "nothing" can kill him. And he out and killed "nothing".
Under his beard is just another fist.
@D Legionnaire Are you a bot or a fanboy?
Chuck Norris knows victoria's secret
Everyone in this scene was out of ammo... Yes everyone, including Chuck Norris
Dude I thought I I heard all the Chuck Norris jokes out there! Then the man him self delivered one of the greatest ones I’ve never heard!
It's my new favourite! My old favourite was "Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because The Dark is afraid of Chuck Norris"
Спасибо за детство Сталонне.Дольф.ЧакНоррис. Шварцнеггер.ВанДам. это кумиры 1 000 000 парней . сколько хороших парней выросло на ваших фильмах ! Живите долго ! привет из РОССИИ))))))).
Аминь. ;)
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD! ITS FRIGGIN CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!! 🦅🦅🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
Chuck Norris once pulled the pin on a grenade and killed 50 men in a bar…. Then he tossed the grenade
In 1982 Chuck Norris peed in the has tank of a brand new Trans Am,today that Trans Am is known as KITT.
Old school solid men living their lives in their manhood and with vintage antique cars and with modern pistols and guns I'm 21st century. :)
When Mr. Chuck Norris chops onions; onions cry.
I love this scene where it is filled with Chuck Norris puns 😂🤣
Chuck Norris once punched a wall in 1989. The Berlin Wall was never rebuilt after that. Chuck Norris isn’t afraid of death. Death is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger says I'll be back in Terminator,he indicates that he is calling Chuck Norris for help.
Gotta love the good th bad and ugly theme when he walks in awesome
When seal team 6 need saving. They send for chuck norris😂😄😆👍🏿
When Chuck Norris does his push-ups in the morning, NASA has to recalibrate all of its telescopes because of how far he pushes the Earth.
Gotta say this comments section is chalk-full of good Chuck Norris jokes.
Next generation never understand Chuck Norris humor
A very chuck norris scene. That wasn’t an RPG that hit the tank he just spit at it.
The cobra died
Typical Bad run in with Chuck Norris
This scene is EXCATLY why the expendables was brilliant.
Over the Top action 80s boom!
Most of the actors from that time acknowledging how ridiculous it actually was.
Tropic Thunder was comedians making fun of 80s action.
Expendables was action stars making fun of it. They too a normally serious 80s action plot with cheesy lines but actually made fun of the cheesiest.
John Wick brought back a good action.
I like the detail when he shoots and looks at his gun like if it was magic killing the bad guys lol
Here we thought all the best lines were saved for Arnold. Chuck Norris, another army of one.
When Chuck Norris films a gunfight scene he uses real bullets.
Chuck Norris trained them to kill on command.
Chuck Norris was not originally in this scene.
They didn't even film it.
The directors and actors were stunned when they saw the first screening.
Okay, that's funny.
So SCP huh
@@additiveartificer9365 The 05 council denied an SCP file for Chuck Norris.
They already know he cannot be contained.
"Fuckin' Chuck Norris." - - White Goodman
That joke kills me every time. And I've seen this movie about 30 times.
When someone calls 911,911 calls Chuck Norris.
Fact: Chuck Norris survived two heart attacks with only 44 minutes of difference.
Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees.
Chuck Norris' House has no doors. Just walls he walks through.
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to live. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can swim on land. Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris throws one lucky child into the sun. Chuck Norris officially holds every world record. The Guinness book just lists the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
When a lvl 99 max stat player joins your party
ultimate battle simulator 2 has a Chuck Norris that kicks and punches everything to death, he always wins. Literally in the game.
Dolfies face trying not to laugh🤣🤣
When Chuck Norris does an push up, he does not push himself up, he pushes the earth down
I like how in movies all the bullets except the good guy's misses its target
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be seconds from death.
Where's the Texas Ranger when you need him? On his way.
Chuck Norris.
Great man.
Great actor.
Great martial artist.
Good 2 see him in this great movie.
I wish his friend bruce lee lived longer, they would have done more great movies 2geda.
Chuck Norris is kind of a homophobic, bible-toting republican gun-nut who uses his celebrity status to promote his ideas.
@@martinsmith5520 yikes
@@martinsmith5520 every celebrity uses their fame to promote their ideas/agenda, none of them are honest.
He should have played himself - Chuck Norris.
A Chuck Norris Joke! He told a Chuck Norris Joke! 😂🤣😅
THE LEGENDARY #chucknorris 🥋
this scene is so metal
Chuck norris don't get into character, the character gets into chuck norris!
When I saw him, I started cracking so many jokes I was lighting up that movie theater
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
When Chuck Norris was born the first thing he said to the midwife was "Is someone gonna get this shit off my beard"
I love the Chuck Norris facts being embraced by him personally.
I find it funny that Terry had time to close the door, say a few words then yells down before the shooting starts
Nine nine!!
The amount of muscle the guys have to be able to move there faces into different expressions such as a smile is intense. Once u pin the skin only the greats can maneuver it. Also they all grow really dark facial hair. Pretty neat
The legend chuck Norris!!!!
Chuck was once able to count to the infinite. Twice they tell. :D
When Stallone looks at his gun…🤣
The only thing missing was the fist behind his beard 😂
Plot twist: Chuck Norris used only one bullet that transformed into hundreds to take down a whole unit.
he's a legend that why
he's the arsenal itself
Whut ??!they gave him the clint Eastwood theme ?!!
Just for Mens biggest supporter...Chuck!!
The only person to beat ! Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris .
Thank god Chuck norris said he work alone or the movie would be done by 10 sec. And thats going slow so the team can catch up with him ;).
Chuck Norris can smell colors
Chuck said to Death - don't dare kill my friends.. plenty of sequels more to come!
I love this movie. This is how I got into little Richard. Lol.
Check out heuy piano Smith and francie Ford.
I feel bad for the cobra
It is said Chuck Norris enlisted in the military after high school,nope. The military enlisted in Chuck Norris.
I bet if Chuck Norris was a drinker his favorite song may be "I drink alone" lol.
When Chuck Norris was born, he told his mom to stop crying!!!
When Chuck Norris falls the stars make a wish
I
Still
Can
Not
Get
Enough
Of
Chuck
Norris.
Period.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down
ah yes, chuck norris, i heard he kill three people with a fokken pencil... sharpener.
first laugh I got in 2022 LOL legend
That's how you introduce Chuck properly.