“Our marriage was over the moment she cheated on me AND abused our son…” THANK YOU! Cheating is already a deal breaker but abusing anybody let alone a child is unforgivable.
Yes. His priority has to be his son. OP may waver and let her back in, but with his son to care for one hopes he will stand firm and keep his son safe.
Offer a reward to whoever trashed the affair partner. Do the divorce immediately. Never trust a cop.a a cop in general is the scum of the earth and never to be trusted
A co-worker told me his friend found out his wife was cheating on him when he got a call that she had been shot and was in the hospital. It turned out the wife of the man she was cheating with walked in on them going at it and shot them both. They both survived. Neither marriage did.
Something similar happened in my town. Once the husband learned the truth about his wife infidelity he stopped visiting her, the MIL contacted him 12 days later to arrange for the 2 kids to visit their hospitalized mom, once she entered his house, she implored him to come visit her to witch he said no, then she started berating him and shaming him for being cruel and a bad husband, his answer was slapping the shit out of her and kicking her out of the house, BIL come to his house with a gun for what he did to his mom ( no witnesses 😅) but the husband was ready, didn't open the door called the police and 2 months later was sentenced to 7 years in prison. The whole drama of the wife and her brother (who is a very nice guy with a happy family of his own) gave the husband full custody of his kids. His wife destroyed her family and her brother's her mom cut all contact with her and she's now a homeless junkie.
@@gostavoadolfos2023, woooow! Let me guess, the wife went to her mom and brother playing the victim. Turned it all around on the husband to make him the villain, never bothering to mention it was in fact her, who caused the divorce bc of her infidelity and they only found out the truth after these events had taken place?
@@gostavoadolfos2023I'm with dude on everything besides slapping the MIL. That's still his kid's grandmother. I'm surprised MIL went to BIL instead of the police, i guess luckily she didn't go to the police because that could have screwed him in court
Not only was she cheating, but she was also abusing her son? Disregarding the cheating and the drug abuse, there is no coming back from the way she abused her son...
@@immapotato1 Exactly. Not only that, she also wants her son to end up, either, in the foster care system, when CPS takes him away from her, or worse, a teenage runaway.
And why would she. She knows she screwed up and hubby is not taking her back no matter what. She is a drug addict, nobody is going to b believe her right now anyways.
Thats not an over reaction at all, my daughter was being harassed by her bio moms family and her aunt even tried to force her into a car. After restraining order and possibly some broken fingers, i taught my daughter all about stranger danger and privided her with a really loud alarm pendant. On top of that i put her on self defense classes, she loved it so much that she got hooked on judo like her daddy lol and has been practicing for 4 years.
I am a heavily muscled and very fit 6'7" 265 lb man with 4 deployments to Iraq and I practice MMA Training for fun. I have no issues with taking one or more lives to protect my family (wife and triplet 9-year-old girls). However, I am NOT the Badass in the family, that is my 5'10" 140 lb wife. She has 4th and 5th degree Black Belts in 3 different Martial Arts and even earned a Silver Medal in the Pan Am games several years back. She is also an instructor in these Martial Arts and trains our daughters. One of my daughters alone would have a tough time against an adult male or large adult female but all 3 of them working together are devasting. They actually do a performance before tournaments of what all 3 of them can do together. While some of it is nothing but entertainment value, they also have real-world skills that would protect them if they were approached by a "bad guy". As for my contribution to my family's safety??? I train them in what to do in a desperate last chance scenario to turn it around. They realize what I train them to do is ONLY to be done if they are facing imminent death. I also train them in firearms safety, techniques, and shooting skills. What I or my wife lack in expertise is made up by my friends who are Vets and Licensed Police Officers. I am more worried about them becoming teenagers and dating than I am about their general safety LOL.
Martial arts is great for kids. My nephew started Judo as a child and took it all the way through school and my daughter started Kyokushin karate (full contact karate) when she was about 8 and kept at it for years. Not only is it physically healthy, but martial arts inspires confidence in kids. It teaches quick reflexes and how to handle themselves. It's just so important and I wish more kids (and their parents) would become involved.
I think it was more that he believed in the old saying about 'hope for the best, but prepare for the worst', and it looks like he covered all the bases.
We have a case like that at my work. A few weeks ago, the wife of the guy came to drop him off and gave him kisses and hugs, the girl that is his ap, said something along the lines "he is cheating on me" to what another women responded "he is cheating on you with his wife... Did he said he would leave her for you or something like that? Get down to the real world, you are the cheating one, not her". Everyone knows about their affair, from the cleaning lady to the ceo, we are just watching it like it is areal life soap opera.
Right?! Apparently they don't pay attention to crime tv cuz they do it constantly & routinely end up railroading innocent people out of years if not decades of their lives. They lie more often & in far worse ways than any criminal. If me or my family are ever victims of a serious crime I'll be damned if I trust them to investigate, I'm hiring a lawyer & a PI cuz those lazy racist donut eaters can't be trusted to do their jobs with any semblance of competence.
I know I'm late, but this for real! They were probably wanting to see if OP would go to the hospital to "finish the job" & catch him red-handed when OP literally did nothing & took their advice of gtfo of his house for safety reasons.
He needs to get the divorce and stay the entire hell away from this mess. No "support from a distance." The woman has parents, so let them deal with her. If he leaves open even a tiny crack of compassion, the snake will give a way to slither through it. Do not do that to that kid.
Indeed. Needs to take that "not my circus, not my monkeys" approach to the ex-wife, because to keep any attachment to her is to open himself up to further psychological turmoil, to make him question whether to let her back into their lives, to risk further harm to his son (even to the point of possible kidnapping!), and so on. Whatever help she needs has to come from someone other than him.
Sounds like they should have enough evidence to terminate her parental rights but given she's a woman that probably won't happen which is beyond horrible.
@@bhart3321 That's when Vigilante Justice comes in. When the Legal System fails to punish those who need punishing, people SHOULD step up to do it themselves. It's the only way. And at this point, I can prove it mathmatically.
This woman's letter is not worth sh**. She abused her child and cheated on her loving husband with a sleaze. It was her own choice to go down that lane. If she had any love at all for her family she could so easily have asked them or her gp for help, she decided not to so far too late to pretend otherwise.
I was that kids once. I love my dad, but his constant "She's not so bad" and "I miss her" after she left him and I told him about the abuse really hurt my ability to fully trust him and not be resentful. I told him this and the pain on his face said it all. I love my dad, I do...but your dad's willing to take back people like this and let them hurt your kids will one day make it where your kids will no longer see you someone they rely on. No matter how kind you are. Better get that shit through your heads NOW.
@@joshual1021 I am so sorry. My mom failed to protect us against physical and other abuse from her husband. She always made excuses for him. It damages your ability to trust others. I will never fully trust my spouse now and we’ve had to accept that. He will never cheat on me but I can’t trust him to not seize control and become abusive at some point because of my past. I maintain some level of autonomy to protect against this insanely unlikely situation ever occurring.
@@Sorchia56 thank you 😊. Both my sibling and I did break that chain of abuse! Our kids are so healthy and loved. One key is I did not physically discipline them ever. My husband had to because he was not abused.
Just to be clear, it is possible to be a drug addict and be nice to kids. There are tons of functioning druggies and alcoholics and many of them don’t abuse their children. Some do, but some don’t. She was addicted to pain meds. PAIN meds. Yes, in excess, they can alter your mind, but they don’t suddenly turn you into a horrible person. She was still able to go to work and fool her husband for a long time, completely undetected. So, basically, the child abuse was something different entirely, IMO.
@@Undomaranel I'm currently on drug 6 for my mental health. I would never dream of hurting my siblings, with there being a 20 year gap between me and the youngest, I do play more of a psuedo- parental role than a sibling one. No amount of drug addled thoughts in your head should excuse abuse.
Yeah, alcohol, weed, pain pills etc= do NOT change your personality. She abused because she was an abuser. I think this guy was simping and didn't realize what his wife was like because he didn't want to see it. He seems pretty naive and oblivious.
You're absolutely right - she was trying to force him into hiding the affair. The kid probably never knew about the drug abuse. He may not even have understood what was going on at all. This vile woman abused her own son to cover up her evil doing. She could easily have just gone to her husband & explained her drug habit & he would have helped her (before the affair). There was no need for her to become a literal hoe and abuse her kid. This was something that was ALREADY IN HER.
That last letter was a play on the heartstrings move. She knows she's F--ed everything up and OP can leave her with nothing. I'd keep walking. She needs to put in the work to fix herself.
Frankly, I don't see in what possible way that OP can "support her from a distance" that won't end with her entwining him and his son in her drama again. It would be an invitation for more manipulation and mind games. If he is a religious man, he can pray for her (at a distance) and let God sort it out.
@@jgw5491 I can think of two ways (1) financial through two intermediaries -one being a lawyer and two being a trust/non-profit claiming to randomly helping addicted folks. (2) Morale support via fictitious social media accounts (and this last is still a bit of such an invitation but at least she would not know who it is she is trying to manipulate).
@@YultheYak If he can afford it, route one is probably the way to go if he wants to help. He shouldn't put himself in the position of contact with her even at an anonymous distance. That would be where the mind games would start again.
@@jgw5491 He was implying financial support so likely he can though he should probably use a different lawyer in that capacity. The second option is a harder call- much greater risk especially as she could well guess who the morale supporter actually is (OP does not strike me as being much of an actor- the definitive straight shooter) but could be done. Personally, I would go strict NC but helping at a distance could be viable, if a bad idea.
She never trusted or loved OP or she would have turned to him when she started having problems after her surgery. She's an addict an always will be, she may get sober but will always be an addict.
I have to wonder if the OP’s uncle had been cheated on by his spouse and got royally screwed over in their resulting divorce, so was invested in making sure that none of his relatives would ever go through the same thing. He wrote a solid prenup for his nephew and made sure that his wife couldn’t get her claws into his assets in other ways. He really saved OP here.
The uncle didn’t need to be cheated on. In his law practice and others he could have easily seen enough cases where such a prenup had been desperately needed.
Smart lawyers don't need to learn from personal experience. They are taught how to safeguard people and they see it all the time in their clients. There is nothing to suggest his uncle had a bad marriage, but every indication that he was a top notch lawyer.
I have a friend that found out about his wife’s affair when the police showed up at his house because the affair partners girlfriend had been found murdered. For 5 years his life was a night mare(how long it took for the trial to be over). So much craziness
I think it was multiple men (i think 4-5) and apparently he was the AP to ALOT of married women so it would be hard to pinpoint which husbands actually did it.
This is just so insane! What a horrible person his wife is and out of her mind. I feel so sorry for the son and what he had to go through. I hope OP keeps his head up and gets through this ok..
Same here. Sadly, that poor kid will need therapy for the rest of his life, because he'll suffer from PTSD, due to the abuse and neglect his mother subjected him to, which will negatively affect his ability to trust, and at the same time, his future relationships/marriage. And if he becomes a single father, he'll be extremely cautious of whom he lets near his kids.😒
The fact the Prenup wasn't thrown out is a good thing. There are too many women, especially in Western society, who not only get away with it, but BENEFIT from this system. There NEEDS to be laws against these women. Now.
"Not showing compassion is not the same thing as being vindictive." I like that AND SO TRUE in this instance. Her drug abuse is a reason for her actions but it's not an excuse. You are still responsible for your actions while under the influence. And those actions have consequences.
"...beaten, violated and partially burned..." Ayo, in Swahili, there is a colloquial statement, "bibi ya mtu ya sumu" which translates to "another man's wife is poison". Mandem got beaten, surprise buttsexed and then burned?! Why risk this shit when there are so many single women?! Even if AP survives, can you call the shell of what's left of his existence "life"?!
After all the screaming of cops are bad and liars, now people want to say the cops wouldn't do that, please understand that a cops job is to catch you lying and they can legally lie too you
I don't know if the cops really even lied to OP. We don't know what they were told. Maybe someone said "the wife is at the hospital" and the cop speaking to OP took that to mean she was with the AP, but really it meant that she had admitted herself. Chinese whispers y'all.
People will literally do or say anything to defend cops 🙄 So much evidence out there suggesting a lot of them aren't the best people, including a 40% rate of domestic abuse, and they still have a hold on people
you're assuming these are the same people saying both statements. I'm in camp ACAB and definitely wouldn't say in this situation "the cops wouldn't do that" lol
I found it odd that the police went down the jilted husband road considering his rap sheet. My only guess is that they thought it would be an easy open and close rather than a prolonged investigation going through all the contacts. We also don't know if they did in fact have other leads but OP didn't know anything more than his interaction. That's not justifying their behavior, which is for sure sketch.
If the AP was basically a drug supplier for the wife, per her letter, that also opens up a whole different range of reasons why he might have been set upon related to his criminal activities. Why limit the focus to just the husbands of his APs?
@@jackchop1576 What are you even talking about? I'm talking about an avenue of investigation, not anything to do with swapping out victims. Logically, if you have a person who is a drug supplier and also has multiple affairs, then sure, other husbands might be a focus, but so might the AP's drug supplier up the chain, or someone who doesn't appreciate the sales competition. I wasn't referencing the wife at all.
@@FormerChildProdigy It's actually more likely that his attack was related to the drugs - it sounds like gang revenge more than an angry husband's revenge.
Ah, warm memories. "I spent about 2 hours in a house with that guy, perhaps 10 minutes in his presence and zero direct interaction. If I'm on your list of suspects, I'd better let you get going because you're probably going to be really busy." And that was the last I ever saw of them. Advice for anyone in OP's position - refuse to talk until they tell you what gives, get a lawyer, threaten to leave if they insist on playing games, say the minimum possible to muddy the waters for whoever did do it (hold alibis in reserve unless they're actually needed) and if you did do it, keep your mouth shut - that's a need-to-know detail and there isn't _anybody_ who needs to know, ever.
There's an awesome commercial out there from 2 pothead attorneys that's literally the 5 rules of being arrested, they were literally all STFU, say nothing don't say hello, don't ask for water, nothing, only words out your mouth should be I want a lawyer & repeat it over & over again until a lawyer shows up. One of my professors in college was a public defender & told us the very same thing, said I don't care if you're as innocent as pure driven snow never talk to a cop without a lawyer present even if you're a witness to a crime.
Ok, I knew something else was going on, this was WAY beyond revenge on a habitual cheater, she went to a psych ward as soon as she found out what happened. He’s her drug dealer/pimp. what a roller coaster!
Well, OP's ex will never gonna have OP back, and she has a very long and hard road ahead of her if she wants to have any sort of contact with her son again. I hope she can pull herself together.
Hopefully she never has contact with the son again. I can't imagine that he would want to. My father was a violent alcoholic, I was never eager to seek out his company.
@@danacarter9147 Thank you :) He was a very troubled man but he could not control himself as an adult. I don't think kids should be forced to engage with people like this, even if it's their parents. It does not improve life for the kids.
OP shouldn’t feel like a bad dad. My mom was like that to me for well over a decade before he found out during the divorce. Also, one of the most memorable ways my father helped me learn some independence was when I was about 11-12. He worked in Boston back then and took me to a Sox game for my bday. He navigated the subway system on the way to the game and showed me how to read the maps and stuff. When the game finished, dad had me navigate the way back.
Yeah kinda same. My mom was on pills, too. She was mean before but it only made her worse. My dad was just working to make ends meet and trusted her to not abuse me but SURPRISE she did.
I absolutely *WOULD* have *LOVED* to have seen the "shocked Pikachu face" on OPs soon to be ex-wife upon learning about the prenup. I'm surprised that the OPs soon to be ex-wife's lawyer didn't drop her right then. Also I'm sorry but in cases like this even in community property juries the cheater should *NOT* be entitled to *ANY* portion of the marital assets.
This is why I love your channel I have read this story before but only the first part because most other channels dont go further than the original post and I love the context and updates you provide.
Thanks, LG, for your usual thorough compilation of stories/updates - and also for your warning advisory at the beginning, which I particularly appreciate. It wasn't easy to read/listen to, but you did it well.
Since I work in mental health, OP shouldn't beat himself up too much. Addicts are slick and good Liars. Not to add Xtra stress but OP Needs to get HIV tested as well since there were drugs and her affair was with someone sleeping with multiple ppl as well as he has a hx prison time. Those are risk factors. Hope op will be able to heal and move on.
I've heard this story several months ago by another narrator, but they did not have an update. I'm really glad I found your video because the curiosity was really really bugging me. Thank you for posting
This video left me with a lump in my throat. I understand addiction can make people do horrible things, but, she had many chances to fess up and get help before this turned into a freak show. Cheating is awful. Hurting her child is unforgivable. I feel so bad for the husband and son, but, they have each other and with time will move on. Far far away from that sociopath.
*wipes a tear - That prenup sounds like a thing of beauty. When my son was that age, I would give him some money and let him go into store to pick out stuff for dinner. We did end up with pizza rolls a few times, (still yummy), but it was kind of surprising what he came up with sometimes. Letting him do some small stuff by himself I think has helped prepare him for some bigger stuff.
He really shouldnt feel bad about not noticing her drug habits, as a recovered addict myself I can say if people want to hide it its VERY easy especially when the one they're trying to hide it from has full trust in them. Do NOT give her another chance with the son. I have seen people fall down this slope too many times to count, if you're willing to fall to that level once and treat your child that way then they WILL do it again. For the sons mental health, do everything to keep her away
Wow, teaching your kids how to ask for help is really amazing and I wish my parents had done that. 😯 I'd like to remember this for if I ever have children.
Oh wow I remember this! I appreciate that you find older stories with updates! That and the helpful time stamps put you as the top Reddit stories channel! Keep up the good work!
@@LunaP1 I don't think it was one of the jilted spouses that gave him the beating. Usually, a Justice or Revenge beating orchestrated by a jilted spouse would include intense damage to the man parts region, often to the point of rendering them useless in future sexual enjoyment. This beating was all over him. I would put my money on him being attacked by either his drug supplier, another drug dealer, or even a disgruntled customer.
I don’t think there’s any doubt that will happen! OP has an air-tight pre-nup and an entire law firm on his side. Plus, his wife was stupid by leaving ample evidence of her activities around, and OP is in the anger phase: he won’t *want* to be merciful. Consider her nuked!
😧😧😧😧😧 that poor op, can't imagine being so scared of your kids and your own safety that you need to sleep with a gun because your wife's a cheating.....your mind can fill in the blanks here. Im glad the ops uncle was smart enough to create the prenuptial. I hope op and his kidddo can have a clean break from her and have a super happy life.
This story is so wild, makes me wonder how op could be so blind, saying that his marriage was good, when she both cheated and abused their son. Like...how?
I can, being a fellow nominee for the Captain Oblivious Award. A combination of good lying skills for the addict, career focus/travel by the OP, and a trusting nature.
Pain pills didn't make her be a piece of shit, she always was. This guy can't even tell when he's a suspect for a crime, how could he tell what the wife was?
He was away all the time for work for one thing. For another, I've met oblivious people who say their marriages are "fine" all the time, largely because they grew up being taught that arguments or disagreements in the relationship was a bad thing and meant the marriage wasn't doing well. So they assume if no one ever disagrees or argues, the marriage is hunky-dory. Never occurs to them that their spouse might just swallow their disappointments and start having their own secret life on the side. Then the "happy" partner gets blindsided by divorce papers as the leaving partner describes the laundry-list of problems in the relationship that were never addressed (or noticed by the oblivious one).
Remember everyone, most people guided by either selfishness or emotion (or both) will have you believe that a lack of something or an absence is the same as something. It's not and it's important to remember that. Always remember: 1) Not being polite isn't the same as being rude just as not being rude isn't the same as being polite. 2) Not being obviously/blatantly bad isn't the same as being good just like not doing something good/nice isn't the same as doing something bad. 3) Not helping isn't the same as creating a bad situation just as not making a bad situation isn't the same as helping. These are things that are important to remember.
@@NickM_FirstofHisName you're right, it could be either... It was the six other women he was sleeping with, and his anal violation during the assault that ultimately left him hospitalized, that made me think it was something to do with his sexual exploits
@@NickM_FirstofHisName I'm thinking betrayed spouse because of the violation. Sounds like it was more personal than just business. Probably why the cops brought OP in.
That bit about the exercises OP was going through with his son to build his confidence and indipendence got me for some reason. To think dude thought he was a bad father, I wish my parents had thought to be involved in my development like that.
I deleted my stronger words (🙄) but I’m very unhappy with the cops in this. They don’t need to be curb stomping people to be bad, they just have to feel they have the authority to work outside of empathy. They don’t. Justice is not a race, its a pillar. Lots of people don’t get that, and many of those people become cops. ETA: see, it ended up probably not being about cheating in the end anyway. I bet they would have had to investigate for five seconds to learn he was a drug dealer.
Dear OP, I hope that you, your son and your ex-wife are on the healing road. It'll be a long journey, but it'll be worth it in the end. Please, please, PLEASE stop blaming yourself over what you may--or may not--have missed. Your ex-wife hid her addiction from you, and scared your son into silence about how she verbally and emotionally abused him. Were there warning signs that you may have missed? Possibly, but hindsight is 20/20, and we are supposed to look for the best in our loved ones, and not be unnecessarily suspicious of everything they do. Stay strong for your son, and Godspeed to you both.
The officers said OP's stbx was in the hospital with her affair partner to see how OP would react to that news. From OP's description of the story, there were no definite subjects, but plenty of "persons of interest" (the spouses of all the other women he had been fooling around with, his former associates, etc.). The officers had to weed them out, one by one.
I rhink the cops had already decided (in their own minds) that OP was the guilty party. The long interrogation was an attempt to coerce a confession and the follow-up trick with the wife being with the cheater at the hospital was another attempt to trap OP.
I can see that. But it also strikes me that that detail was crucial in how OP reacted to the affair -- it's one thing to learn that your wife has been having sex with a different man, and another to learn that she's there supporting that man in the hospital while you're being dragged through the mud at the police station. So it feels like this type of lie might, in different circumstances, have led to OP making some key decisions that he wouldn't have made otherwise, and that... really bugs me. Like imagine a scenario kinda similar to this, but where the cops lied in such a way as to make OP *think* that his wife had abused their kid (which, in this version, never actually happened), and in response to that thought, OP (who never would have thought that of his wife but he's reeling from all the other revelations so why not believe this one too) does all these things to destroy her life and make sure she never gets near the kid again. And yet the cops would have zero repercussions for creating such havoc toward a person who's innocent of the crimes they accused her of. It feels like a lot of power to cause psychological damage and even maybe physical harm without any accountability at all. Just "Hey, we wanted to get a reaction out of him, make our jobs easier." Or "but we thought for sure he was the bad guy, so it justifies everything we might do to him until we find out the evidence to prove it."
Technically they DIDN'T lie... she was in the SAME hospital AS affair partner... just not at his bedside, holding his hand and weeping like they were implying. Sheesh-- as much as many cops say they hate lawyers, they sure can pull out the same double-speak lawyer talk at the drop of a hat!
Words cannot describe how sorry I feel for OP and his son. They have been through so much pain and trauma! 😭 OP's wife really should be ashamed of herself! 😡 I can only hope things can get better for OP and his son now! ❤
OP should enrol his son in a martial arts club. Not to learn to fight (although self defence is helpful) but it's good fitness and a great way for kids to build self confidence. All the kids in my family (mine, my brothers, my grandkids) have taken it and it really helps with self assuredness and self worth.
OP should write a letter back that only says "You realize how that admission makes things worse right? You need to drop the shovel and quit digging your own hole deeper..."
Bruh I know that it was an investigation but they really traumatised the dude by making him think his wife and son where in danger/hurt, then show him the wife ducking another dude and then confirm that the son is in danger? Like wtf? Who holds an interview/interrogation like that? My dad’s a retired detective and this sounds unprofessional af. All that aside I hope OP is ok and lawyered up.
As a gun owner, I would never leave my gun behind in a situation like this. He likely took it just so his wife wouldn’t have access to it not because he thought he would need it. Y’all just hate guns so much you assume he took it to use it. Imagine if he left that in the house and she took his gun to track down the person who assaulted her affair partner? That would be so much worse.
This woman became a literal monster from her substance abuse. Her choice to not get help early on has done sever harm to everyone who she loved around her. Including her child.
Getting a divorce is S.O.P. when the wife is caught cheating. I am more interested in who tried to torture kill the AP. It doesn't seem to me that OP would be at risk. The spouses of the AP's other 'conquests' are probable suspects; but why would they go after someone who is in the same boat as they are? It sounds like the criminal connections are the most probable source of the actual perpetrator.
Sounds like there are plenty of suspects for the police to sort through. Could be the spouse of another affair partner, could be a drug deal gone bad, could even be an accident involving the drugs.
You don't "decide to start abusing the medicine ". You don't know you're addicted till after it takes hold. By that point, it is physically, excruciatingly painful to stop. The brain rewires quickly when you take opiods. Rewired to crave the painless state opiods bring. Hell of a dr"g.
The role playing the scenarios with the son unlocked a memory for me. My parents drilled what to do in case I was in trouble into me long before I was old enough to go outside alone. To this day, the only phone numbers I don’t have to double check in my phone are my parents’ and my old home phone. My family didn’t even have any issues like OP’s, my parents just wanted my siblings and I to be ready for anything. It’s not silly. It’s practical.
Divorce her anyway. But, there MIGHT be reconciliation later IF she completes rehab AND IF (extra big IF) she becomes the woman you married and you fall back in love. I have seen it happen, it is rare, maybe it's my optimistic side, but it can only happen IF she commits to getting better.
Post surgery addiction and workplace coercion is more complicated than a “choice” but OP is in now way obliged to help her where he is obligated to help his son.
That woman fuckd up big time. That marriage is over. That being said, there is a prescription drug abuse pandemic in USA. And she went down that rabbit hole. IF she proves to be clean for a long time, does some major therapy, and works on it. In the long run she could hope to rebuild her relationship with her son, and maybe have a respectful interaction with OP. If she cant do all that, its better that OP and son go no contact with her.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of women out there that don't see it that way. They want to have their safe, stable home life with their 'nice guy' who pays the bills and all, but still want to have wild bedroom flings with some bad boy.
Absolutely, though in this case it was never about getting another man; it was about using one man to feed her drug habit while hanging onto the other one as a meal ticket/safe place to fall.
@@addicted2mako It isn’t exactly dissimilar though - she was still looking for thrills outside the marriage while keeping her nice guy in the dark at home, paying all her bills.
I agree with most of what you said. The only part I feel differently about is that she chose to get hooked on her drugs. Most people who get hooked on their pain needs don't do it in purpose.
Thank you so much for this comment 😊..opiates of any kind are extremely dangerous..even prescribed, you can become addicted in a short time..Drs do nothing to warn you..I became addicted after a surgery and it nearly killed me.. I am almost 10 years clean but it definitely ruined my life as i knew it..i am not suggesting she should at all be forgiven..it is a consequence The opiate epidemic is very real and things need to be dealt with drastically!
OP, you are not a bad father for not seeing this coming. You are guilty only of assuming the woman you loved was what she pretended to be. I have been in your position, and can assure you that you will be glad six months from now that you found out. My partner was having an affair with my best friend, and as the joke goes, I missed the friend more than the cheater. You will be fine. What you need to do now is learn to trust again, so you can move on. As for your son, you are making all the right choices. Childen are resilient, so you will both be fine. I took some time, found a faithful and supportive partner and have enjoyed thirty years of happiness. The ex is old, bitter and alone.
Every time I hear this story I can't help but think how useless those police are. They did enough detective work to find the husband of the affair partner but not enough to look into who the victim was? His wrap sheet printed "for 5 minutes" but it was def the husband getting revenge and not any of the related gang or dr*g dealings.
They had a cornucopia of potential suspects. OP was just one of them. One way to filter through many suspects is to shake every tree around and look for something that looks wrong. In their place I would probably do the same. Notice that they cut him lose pretty quickly, for an interrogation anyway. His reaction looked normal so they had no reason to look further.
I wonder if OPs uncle saw something in the wife and that’s why he prepared everything, or maybe he was just being cautious. Either way OP definitely needs to lay some flowers on his grave for everything he did
I think the detective lied about where the wife was to try to provoke OP. If he had been responsible for what happened to AP, he might have been spurred on to go make a scene at the hospital.
OP...DO NOT CALL the facility to check on her as a human being from time to time. This is giving her false hope and they won't talk to you anyway because you are not her husband or a direct relative. Cut ties and get on with your life. It will be easier for you and you son.
I am an RN, I have lost 2 uncles, 1 aunt, 1 brother and have another who is addicted now. It is not a "choice", anymore than a heart attack or broken arm. My little Brother was given pains meds for minor surgery and was dead 2 years later. I have 38 years of medical exp. If you disagree it is because you are a fool and are wrong.
Honestly bro that guy had it coming. That's why you don't sleep with people who are married. There's NEVER a guarantee that the spouse isn't murd erously vio lent and isn't going to take it out on you.
I'm betting his attack was about drugs not the women he was exploiting. It smacks of the level of overkill used by some drug cartels. That was a message.
god I can't even imagine, poor kid and father...and finding out the worst way 😢 all the trauma...I just want to give them hugs And omg his his Uncle is a fkin hero, rip Uncle you protected your family
This is the hard one... Painkiller induced tragedy... Opiate addiction can destroys everything... because once you are using them you are automatically hooked..
“Our marriage was over the moment she cheated on me AND abused our son…”
THANK YOU! Cheating is already a deal breaker but abusing anybody let alone a child is unforgivable.
Yes. His priority has to be his son. OP may waver and let her back in, but with his son to care for one hopes he will stand firm and keep his son safe.
Yes
Offer a reward to whoever trashed the affair partner. Do the divorce immediately. Never trust a cop.a a cop in general is the scum of the earth and never to be trusted
Hope she gets better, but never allow her to come back. She needs to earn everything back; all on her
Don't be a sucker and stay away for the one good thing you have.
Your boy,she needs nothing more of you.
She admitted to it all and the abuse
A co-worker told me his friend found out his wife was cheating on him when he got a call that she had been shot and was in the hospital. It turned out the wife of the man she was cheating with walked in on them going at it and shot them both. They both survived. Neither marriage did.
Really? Wow, I can only imagine how much shock it must have been to that guy
Something similar happened in my town. Once the husband learned the truth about his wife infidelity he stopped visiting her, the MIL contacted him 12 days later to arrange for the 2 kids to visit their hospitalized mom, once she entered his house, she implored him to come visit her to witch he said no, then she started berating him and shaming him for being cruel and a bad husband, his answer was slapping the shit out of her and kicking her out of the house, BIL come to his house with a gun for what he did to his mom ( no witnesses 😅) but the husband was ready, didn't open the door called the police and 2 months later was sentenced to 7 years in prison. The whole drama of the wife and her brother (who is a very nice guy with a happy family of his own) gave the husband full custody of his kids. His wife destroyed her family and her brother's her mom cut all contact with her and she's now a homeless junkie.
@@gostavoadolfos2023, woooow! Let me guess, the wife went to her mom and brother playing the victim. Turned it all around on the husband to make him the villain, never bothering to mention it was in fact her, who caused the divorce bc of her infidelity and they only found out the truth after these events had taken place?
@@gostavoadolfos2023I'm with dude on everything besides slapping the MIL. That's still his kid's grandmother. I'm surprised MIL went to BIL instead of the police, i guess luckily she didn't go to the police because that could have screwed him in court
@@504gucci4Talk shit get hit, I thought we were about equality these days?
Not only was she cheating, but she was also abusing her son? Disregarding the cheating and the drug abuse, there is no coming back from the way she abused her son...
Considering shewas abusing the child I'm surprised she didn't try selling her son's body for drugs as I seen that happened before
Personally I might be able to forgive what was done to me sfter time but to my son NEVER.
@@badplay156 I agree. I don't know about getting back together though, but most likely no. Never mess with the kids.
She's a fking monster
Plp
For someone who said that she was ashamed that she did everything to OP and his son, she didn't say sorry for it.🤔
she wants OP to be sorry for her and keep funding her drug money i.e. child and spousal support
@@immapotato1 Exactly. Not only that, she also wants her son to end up, either, in the foster care system, when CPS takes him away from her, or worse, a teenage runaway.
And why would she. She knows she screwed up and hubby is not taking her back no matter what. She is a drug addict, nobody is going to b believe her right now anyways.
Cheaters never will say that they are sorry .
Chill out arm chair psychologist. Most people don't say the words "I'm sorry"
Thats not an over reaction at all, my daughter was being harassed by her bio moms family and her aunt even tried to force her into a car. After restraining order and possibly some broken fingers, i taught my daughter all about stranger danger and privided her with a really loud alarm pendant. On top of that i put her on self defense classes, she loved it so much that she got hooked on judo like her daddy lol and has been practicing for 4 years.
I am a heavily muscled and very fit 6'7" 265 lb man with 4 deployments to Iraq and I practice MMA Training for fun. I have no issues with taking one or more lives to protect my family (wife and triplet 9-year-old girls).
However, I am NOT the Badass in the family, that is my 5'10" 140 lb wife. She has 4th and 5th degree Black Belts in 3 different Martial Arts and even earned a Silver Medal in the Pan Am games several years back. She is also an instructor in these Martial Arts and trains our daughters.
One of my daughters alone would have a tough time against an adult male or large adult female but all 3 of them working together are devasting. They actually do a performance before tournaments of what all 3 of them can do together. While some of it is nothing but entertainment value, they also have real-world skills that would protect them if they were approached by a "bad guy".
As for my contribution to my family's safety??? I train them in what to do in a desperate last chance scenario to turn it around. They realize what I train them to do is ONLY to be done if they are facing imminent death. I also train them in firearms safety, techniques, and shooting skills. What I or my wife lack in expertise is made up by my friends who are Vets and Licensed Police Officers.
I am more worried about them becoming teenagers and dating than I am about their general safety LOL.
That is awsome.
Is good to see a parent that cares and help their kid
Martial arts is great for kids. My nephew started Judo as a child and took it all the way through school and my daughter started Kyokushin karate (full contact karate) when she was about 8 and kept at it for years. Not only is it physically healthy, but martial arts inspires confidence in kids. It teaches quick reflexes and how to handle themselves. It's just so important and I wish more kids (and their parents) would become involved.
I'm so sorry about what your daughter went through. 😔How is she feeling now?😟
OP has a solid lawyer and an even better uncle. Feels like uncle saw this coming
I really hope he holds off any sort of support for "fellow human" until all the court proceedings are done cause that's a clear trap
Having good lawyer like that must be expensive right ?
That man was the hero OP didn't know he needed, but luckily the one he got.
May that legend rest im peace.
@@hi_stranger9156 maybe he got a discount. His uncle was the cofounder person, so even though he passed, maybe OP got a family discount
I think it was more that he believed in the old saying about 'hope for the best, but prepare for the worst', and it looks like he covered all the bases.
"Their affair is open secret" wow what shameless woman.
And her co-workers are no better.
They could try and warn the husband as a matter of human decency.
@@trajano777 come to think of it, maybe the co-worker is a cheater too.
We have a case like that at my work. A few weeks ago, the wife of the guy came to drop him off and gave him kisses and hugs, the girl that is his ap, said something along the lines "he is cheating on me" to what another women responded "he is cheating on you with his wife... Did he said he would leave her for you or something like that? Get down to the real world, you are the cheating one, not her". Everyone knows about their affair, from the cleaning lady to the ceo, we are just watching it like it is areal life soap opera.
@@LadyNikitaShark no offense but your work place sounds like toxic AF.
@@hi_stranger9156 it is. That's why I'm walking out as soon as my contract ends in 2 months time. I like the job but the people there are just awful.
Whoever said the police wouldn't do that is living under a rock. Damn.
Right?! Apparently they don't pay attention to crime tv cuz they do it constantly & routinely end up railroading innocent people out of years if not decades of their lives. They lie more often & in far worse ways than any criminal. If me or my family are ever victims of a serious crime I'll be damned if I trust them to investigate, I'm hiring a lawyer & a PI cuz those lazy racist donut eaters can't be trusted to do their jobs with any semblance of competence.
Cops are just crooks wearing uniforms.
I know I'm late, but this for real! They were probably wanting to see if OP would go to the hospital to "finish the job" & catch him red-handed when OP literally did nothing & took their advice of gtfo of his house for safety reasons.
Lying, it's SOP for the police.
He needs to get the divorce and stay the entire hell away from this mess. No "support from a distance." The woman has parents, so let them deal with her. If he leaves open even a tiny crack of compassion, the snake will give a way to slither through it. Do not do that to that kid.
Indeed. Needs to take that "not my circus, not my monkeys" approach to the ex-wife, because to keep any attachment to her is to open himself up to further psychological turmoil, to make him question whether to let her back into their lives, to risk further harm to his son (even to the point of possible kidnapping!), and so on. Whatever help she needs has to come from someone other than him.
Learning about how the STBX treated their son made me angrier than hearing about the affair…I’m really hoping she gets the book thrown at her
Sounds like they should have enough evidence to terminate her parental rights but given she's a woman that probably won't happen which is beyond horrible.
I agree. That and I'm hoping God will send her someone who will give her a major eye opener.
@@bhart3321 Unless they have recorded evidence of what she did. It depends on how they want to work around in the court system.
@@bhart3321 That's when Vigilante Justice comes in.
When the Legal System fails to punish those who need punishing, people SHOULD step up to do it themselves.
It's the only way. And at this point, I can prove it mathmatically.
@@schizoidmeme5470 you make good points
This woman's letter is not worth sh**. She abused her child and cheated on her loving husband with a sleaze. It was her own choice to go down that lane. If she had any love at all for her family she could so easily have asked them or her gp for help, she decided not to so far too late to pretend otherwise.
I was that kids once. I love my dad, but his constant "She's not so bad" and "I miss her" after she left him and I told him about the abuse really hurt my ability to fully trust him and not be resentful. I told him this and the pain on his face said it all. I love my dad, I do...but your dad's willing to take back people like this and let them hurt your kids will one day make it where your kids will no longer see you someone they rely on. No matter how kind you are. Better get that shit through your heads NOW.
@@joshual1021 I am so sorry. My mom failed to protect us against physical and other abuse from her husband. She always made excuses for him. It damages your ability to trust others. I will never fully trust my spouse now and we’ve had to accept that. He will never cheat on me but I can’t trust him to not seize control and become abusive at some point because of my past. I maintain some level of autonomy to protect against this insanely unlikely situation ever occurring.
@@BusArch42 How awful! I’m so sorry you had a parent who failed to protect you. YOU can break the chain.
She’s in over her head, and that letter was a pitifully desperate attempt at trying to look like a victim.
@@Sorchia56 thank you 😊. Both my sibling and I did break that chain of abuse! Our kids are so healthy and loved. One key is I did not physically discipline them ever. My husband had to because he was not abused.
OP's Uncle really saved the day from the grave.
He sure did.
OP's Uncle is the real MVP. 💯
He owns his Uncle his life and future happiness, another great man of the story being overshadow by a cheater.
Just to be clear, it is possible to be a drug addict and be nice to kids. There are tons of functioning druggies and alcoholics and many of them don’t abuse their children. Some do, but some don’t. She was addicted to pain meds. PAIN meds. Yes, in excess, they can alter your mind, but they don’t suddenly turn you into a horrible person. She was still able to go to work and fool her husband for a long time, completely undetected. So, basically, the child abuse was something different entirely, IMO.
@@Undomaranel No matter what in the end she is still trash person who put drugs and her lover above her child and family.
@@Undomaranel I'm currently on drug 6 for my mental health. I would never dream of hurting my siblings, with there being a 20 year gap between me and the youngest, I do play more of a psuedo- parental role than a sibling one. No amount of drug addled thoughts in your head should excuse abuse.
Yeah, alcohol, weed, pain pills etc= do NOT change your personality. She abused because she was an abuser. I think this guy was simping and didn't realize what his wife was like because he didn't want to see it. He seems pretty naive and oblivious.
You're absolutely right - she was trying to force him into hiding the affair. The kid probably never knew about the drug abuse. He may not even have understood what was going on at all. This vile woman abused her own son to cover up her evil doing. She could easily have just gone to her husband & explained her drug habit & he would have helped her (before the affair). There was no need for her to become a literal hoe and abuse her kid. This was something that was ALREADY IN HER.
I knew of someone who was addicted to pain meds and was abusive after he got off a totally different person so it depends always
Lmao the lawyer popping champagne when he read her addiction note was hilarious and ice cold all at once
That last letter was a play on the heartstrings move. She knows she's F--ed everything up and OP can leave her with nothing. I'd keep walking. She needs to put in the work to fix herself.
Frankly, I don't see in what possible way that OP can "support her from a distance" that won't end with her entwining him and his son in her drama again. It would be an invitation for more manipulation and mind games. If he is a religious man, he can pray for her (at a distance) and let God sort it out.
@@jgw5491 I can think of two ways (1) financial through two intermediaries -one being a lawyer and two being a trust/non-profit claiming to randomly helping addicted folks. (2) Morale support via fictitious social media accounts (and this last is still a bit of such an invitation but at least she would not know who it is she is trying to manipulate).
@@YultheYak If he can afford it, route one is probably the way to go if he wants to help. He shouldn't put himself in the position of contact with her even at an anonymous distance. That would be where the mind games would start again.
@@jgw5491 He was implying financial support so likely he can though he should probably use a different lawyer in that capacity. The second option is a harder call- much greater risk especially as she could well guess who the morale supporter actually is (OP does not strike me as being much of an actor- the definitive straight shooter) but could be done. Personally, I would go strict NC but helping at a distance could be viable, if a bad idea.
She never trusted or loved OP or she would have turned to him when she started having problems after her surgery. She's an addict an always will be, she may get sober but will always be an addict.
I have to wonder if the OP’s uncle had been cheated on by his spouse and got royally screwed over in their resulting divorce, so was invested in making sure that none of his relatives would ever go through the same thing. He wrote a solid prenup for his nephew and made sure that his wife couldn’t get her claws into his assets in other ways. He really saved OP here.
The uncle gifted them a home. My guess would be that the prenup was a condition of the house
The uncle didn’t need to be cheated on. In his law practice and others he could have easily seen enough cases where such a prenup had been desperately needed.
Smart lawyers don't need to learn from personal experience. They are taught how to safeguard people and they see it all the time in their clients. There is nothing to suggest his uncle had a bad marriage, but every indication that he was a top notch lawyer.
I have a friend that found out about his wife’s affair when the police showed up at his house because the affair partners girlfriend had been found murdered. For 5 years his life was a night mare(how long it took for the trial to be over). So much craziness
Did they ever catch whoever it was that did it?
Yeah abusing the son was the dealbreaker. Also, whoever beat the AP deserves a medal IMO
Yup, and a parade down Main St.
I think it was multiple men (i think 4-5) and apparently he was the AP to ALOT of married women so it would be hard to pinpoint which husbands actually did it.
This is just so insane! What a horrible person his wife is and out of her mind. I feel so sorry for the son and what he had to go through. I hope OP keeps his head up and gets through this ok..
Same here. Sadly, that poor kid will need therapy for the rest of his life, because he'll suffer from PTSD, due to the abuse and neglect his mother subjected him to, which will negatively affect his ability to trust, and at the same time, his future relationships/marriage. And if he becomes a single father, he'll be extremely cautious of whom he lets near his kids.😒
The fact the Prenup wasn't thrown out is a good thing. There are too many women, especially in Western society, who not only get away with it, but BENEFIT from this system.
There NEEDS to be laws against these women. Now.
@@schizoidmeme5470 I am right with you on that.. Makes no sense at all..
"Not showing compassion is not the same thing as being vindictive." I like that AND SO TRUE in this instance. Her drug abuse is a reason for her actions but it's not an excuse. You are still responsible for your actions while under the influence. And those actions have consequences.
"...beaten, violated and partially burned..." Ayo, in Swahili, there is a colloquial statement, "bibi ya mtu ya sumu" which translates to "another man's wife is poison".
Mandem got beaten, surprise buttsexed and then burned?!
Why risk this shit when there are so many single women?! Even if AP survives, can you call the shell of what's left of his existence "life"?!
After all the screaming of cops are bad and liars, now people want to say the cops wouldn't do that, please understand that a cops job is to catch you lying and they can legally lie too you
I don't know if the cops really even lied to OP. We don't know what they were told. Maybe someone said "the wife is at the hospital" and the cop speaking to OP took that to mean she was with the AP, but really it meant that she had admitted herself. Chinese whispers y'all.
People will literally do or say anything to defend cops 🙄 So much evidence out there suggesting a lot of them aren't the best people, including a 40% rate of domestic abuse, and they still have a hold on people
you're assuming these are the same people saying both statements.
I'm in camp ACAB and definitely wouldn't say in this situation "the cops wouldn't do that" lol
Cops are like any other group of people. Some of them are honest, and some of them are dishonest. Most of them are somewhere in between.
I found it odd that the police went down the jilted husband road considering his rap sheet. My only guess is that they thought it would be an easy open and close rather than a prolonged investigation going through all the contacts. We also don't know if they did in fact have other leads but OP didn't know anything more than his interaction. That's not justifying their behavior, which is for sure sketch.
If the AP was basically a drug supplier for the wife, per her letter, that also opens up a whole different range of reasons why he might have been set upon related to his criminal activities. Why limit the focus to just the husbands of his APs?
They probably didn't, but OP didn't see it so we didn't either
"she can't help it!! her AP, beat, raped and forced her on drugs!! she's the real victim."
Can't say I'm shocked that your name is Karen.
@@jackchop1576 What are you even talking about? I'm talking about an avenue of investigation, not anything to do with swapping out victims. Logically, if you have a person who is a drug supplier and also has multiple affairs, then sure, other husbands might be a focus, but so might the AP's drug supplier up the chain, or someone who doesn't appreciate the sales competition. I wasn't referencing the wife at all.
How would OP know anything about the police investigation that didn't involve him?
@@FormerChildProdigy It's actually more likely that his attack was related to the drugs - it sounds like gang revenge more than an angry husband's revenge.
The fact he used his anger to help him teach his son how to protect himself says a LOT about his character.
Seems like to me that the uncle had a feeling something was going to go down. Smart guy.
Ah, warm memories. "I spent about 2 hours in a house with that guy, perhaps 10 minutes in his presence and zero direct interaction. If I'm on your list of suspects, I'd better let you get going because you're probably going to be really busy." And that was the last I ever saw of them.
Advice for anyone in OP's position - refuse to talk until they tell you what gives, get a lawyer, threaten to leave if they insist on playing games, say the minimum possible to muddy the waters for whoever did do it (hold alibis in reserve unless they're actually needed) and if you did do it, keep your mouth shut - that's a need-to-know detail and there isn't _anybody_ who needs to know, ever.
There's an awesome commercial out there from 2 pothead attorneys that's literally the 5 rules of being arrested, they were literally all STFU, say nothing don't say hello, don't ask for water, nothing, only words out your mouth should be I want a lawyer & repeat it over & over again until a lawyer shows up. One of my professors in college was a public defender & told us the very same thing, said I don't care if you're as innocent as pure driven snow never talk to a cop without a lawyer present even if you're a witness to a crime.
Except your lawyer! Don't let your lawyer get surprised by evidence or guilt. It's confidential, even if guilty.
Ok, I knew something else was going on, this was WAY beyond revenge on a habitual cheater, she went to a psych ward as soon as she found out what happened. He’s her drug dealer/pimp. what a roller coaster!
I wonder if he was pimping her out in general rather than just for himself. I've read of that happening too. The things people will do for drugs.
Well, OP's ex will never gonna have OP back, and she has a very long and hard road ahead of her if she wants to have any sort of contact with her son again. I hope she can pull herself together.
Unfortunately, her son may never want any contact with her, after how much hell she put him through.
Pain pills didn't make her abuse him. If he lets her see the son= he's as much of an idiot as he sounds.
Hopefully she never has contact with the son again. I can't imagine that he would want to. My father was a violent alcoholic, I was never eager to seek out his company.
@@mehitablestorm8877 I'm so sorry for your pain.😔
@@danacarter9147 Thank you :) He was a very troubled man but he could not control himself as an adult. I don't think kids should be forced to engage with people like this, even if it's their parents. It does not improve life for the kids.
Never go to the police to answer any questions? Never! Ever! Contact a lawyer first
OP shouldn’t feel like a bad dad. My mom was like that to me for well over a decade before he found out during the divorce.
Also, one of the most memorable ways my father helped me learn some independence was when I was about 11-12. He worked in Boston back then and took me to a Sox game for my bday. He navigated the subway system on the way to the game and showed me how to read the maps and stuff. When the game finished, dad had me navigate the way back.
Yeah kinda same. My mom was on pills, too. She was mean before but it only made her worse. My dad was just working to make ends meet and trusted her to not abuse me but SURPRISE she did.
Why didn't the cops check his alibi in the beginning before bullying him for hours.
I absolutely *WOULD* have *LOVED* to have seen the "shocked Pikachu face" on OPs soon to be ex-wife upon learning about the prenup.
I'm surprised that the OPs soon to be ex-wife's lawyer didn't drop her right then.
Also I'm sorry but in cases like this even in community property juries the cheater should *NOT* be entitled to *ANY* portion of the marital assets.
This is why I love your channel I have read this story before but only the first part because most other channels dont go further than the original post and I love the context and updates you provide.
You're right - I read the first part too but no updates. It's good to have the full story.
Thanks, LG, for your usual thorough compilation of stories/updates - and also for your warning advisory at the beginning, which I particularly appreciate. It wasn't easy to read/listen to, but you did it well.
Since I work in mental health, OP shouldn't beat himself up too much. Addicts are slick and good Liars. Not to add Xtra stress but OP Needs to get HIV tested as well since there were drugs and her affair was with someone sleeping with multiple ppl as well as he has a hx prison time. Those are risk factors. Hope op will be able to heal and move on.
What do you mean by saying "he has a hx prison time"? What does "hx" mean?
@@perindne sorry. Hx means history
Sometimes when people are pulling you down so they can stand the best thing you can do is take away that hand so you don’t fall with them.
I've heard this story several months ago by another narrator, but they did not have an update. I'm really glad I found your video because the curiosity was really really bugging me. Thank you for posting
This video left me with a lump in my throat.
I understand addiction can make people do horrible things, but, she had many chances to fess up and get help before this turned into a freak show.
Cheating is awful.
Hurting her child is unforgivable.
I feel so bad for the husband and son, but, they have each other and with time will move on. Far far away from that sociopath.
Pain pills don't do this, opioids aren't bath salts ffs. It's an excuse she used as a shield and people keep buying it.
this guy is a good father, I can tell that from reading.
*wipes a tear - That prenup sounds like a thing of beauty.
When my son was that age, I would give him some money and let him go into store to pick out stuff for dinner. We did end up with pizza rolls a few times, (still yummy), but it was kind of surprising what he came up with sometimes. Letting him do some small stuff by himself I think has helped prepare him for some bigger stuff.
He really shouldnt feel bad about not noticing her drug habits, as a recovered addict myself I can say if people want to hide it its VERY easy especially when the one they're trying to hide it from has full trust in them. Do NOT give her another chance with the son. I have seen people fall down this slope too many times to count, if you're willing to fall to that level once and treat your child that way then they WILL do it again. For the sons mental health, do everything to keep her away
Wow, teaching your kids how to ask for help is really amazing and I wish my parents had done that. 😯
I'd like to remember this for if I ever have children.
Oh wow I remember this! I appreciate that you find older stories with updates! That and the helpful time stamps put you as the top Reddit stories channel! Keep up the good work!
AP thought it was all fun and games until he ran into the wrong dude.
OP shouldn’t have been the only guy the cops investigated. AP slept with a lot of women.
@@LunaP1 he probably wasn't
It sounds like ap was abusing multiple women hence the retaliatory nature of his assault
@@salenebrom6476 He could also be one of his _associates_ ...
@@LunaP1 I don't think it was one of the jilted spouses that gave him the beating. Usually, a Justice or Revenge beating orchestrated by a jilted spouse would include intense damage to the man parts region, often to the point of rendering them useless in future sexual enjoyment. This beating was all over him. I would put my money on him being attacked by either his drug supplier, another drug dealer, or even a disgruntled customer.
OP better nuke the ex in the divorce
She does not deserve mercy, nor does she deserve to be a "mother" to OP"s son.
I don’t think there’s any doubt that will happen! OP has an air-tight pre-nup and an entire law firm on his side. Plus, his wife was stupid by leaving ample evidence of her activities around, and OP is in the anger phase: he won’t *want* to be merciful. Consider her nuked!
OP's lawyer already handling that.
She has wronged him. But no one has the right to say if she deserves to be a mother to her son. Its a different matter around her husband
@@lucybee3361 what ever you say, Cheater. Only cheater would feel bad for a cheater. Even after they ABUSE their own kid.
@@lucybee3361 She abused her son. I say she doesn't deserve him.
😧😧😧😧😧 that poor op, can't imagine being so scared of your kids and your own safety that you need to sleep with a gun because your wife's a cheating.....your mind can fill in the blanks here. Im glad the ops uncle was smart enough to create the prenuptial. I hope op and his kidddo can have a clean break from her and have a super happy life.
NERO 🌋
This story is so wild, makes me wonder how op could be so blind, saying that his marriage was good, when she both cheated and abused their son. Like...how?
Addicts can be really good liars sometimes.
I can, being a fellow nominee for the Captain Oblivious Award. A combination of good lying skills for the addict, career focus/travel by the OP, and a trusting nature.
Pain pills didn't make her be a piece of shit, she always was. This guy can't even tell when he's a suspect for a crime, how could he tell what the wife was?
It's because it's probably fiction. Most of these stories are fake.
He was away all the time for work for one thing.
For another, I've met oblivious people who say their marriages are "fine" all the time, largely because they grew up being taught that arguments or disagreements in the relationship was a bad thing and meant the marriage wasn't doing well. So they assume if no one ever disagrees or argues, the marriage is hunky-dory. Never occurs to them that their spouse might just swallow their disappointments and start having their own secret life on the side. Then the "happy" partner gets blindsided by divorce papers as the leaving partner describes the laundry-list of problems in the relationship that were never addressed (or noticed by the oblivious one).
Remember everyone, most people guided by either selfishness or emotion (or both) will have you believe that a lack of something or an absence is the same as something. It's not and it's important to remember that. Always remember:
1) Not being polite isn't the same as being rude just as not being rude isn't the same as being polite.
2) Not being obviously/blatantly bad isn't the same as being good just like not doing something good/nice isn't the same as doing something bad.
3) Not helping isn't the same as creating a bad situation just as not making a bad situation isn't the same as helping.
These are things that are important to remember.
Um. Wow.
The people who attacked that man went (more than a little) overboard, but sometimes people need to realize actions have consequences
At first, I believed it was some betrayed spouse, but it could also be one of the shifty people AP made deals with...
Considering the man's history, we have no clue what the motive for the attack was. We don't even know if we've heard the worst that guy has done.
@@NickM_FirstofHisName you're right, it could be either... It was the six other women he was sleeping with, and his anal violation during the assault that ultimately left him hospitalized, that made me think it was something to do with his sexual exploits
@@NickM_FirstofHisName I'm thinking betrayed spouse because of the violation. Sounds like it was more personal than just business. Probably why the cops brought OP in.
@@neinstein-says Now that you mention it, it could totally be that, yes.
Thank you for the trigger warning. I appreciate it, and I'm sure others do too. ❤
That bit about the exercises OP was going through with his son to build his confidence and indipendence got me for some reason. To think dude thought he was a bad father, I wish my parents had thought to be involved in my development like that.
I deleted my stronger words (🙄) but I’m very unhappy with the cops in this. They don’t need to be curb stomping people to be bad, they just have to feel they have the authority to work outside of empathy. They don’t. Justice is not a race, its a pillar. Lots of people don’t get that, and many of those people become cops.
ETA: see, it ended up probably not being about cheating in the end anyway. I bet they would have had to investigate for five seconds to learn he was a drug dealer.
try being a cop, then tell me how easy it is.
Dear OP,
I hope that you, your son and your ex-wife are on the healing road. It'll be a long journey, but it'll be worth it in the end.
Please, please, PLEASE stop blaming yourself over what you may--or may not--have missed. Your ex-wife hid her addiction from you, and scared your son into silence about how she verbally and emotionally abused him. Were there warning signs that you may have missed? Possibly, but hindsight is 20/20, and we are supposed to look for the best in our loved ones, and not be unnecessarily suspicious of everything they do.
Stay strong for your son, and Godspeed to you both.
The officers said OP's stbx was in the hospital with her affair partner to see how OP would react to that news.
From OP's description of the story, there were no definite subjects, but plenty of "persons of interest" (the spouses of all the other women he had been fooling around with, his former associates, etc.). The officers had to weed them out, one by one.
I rhink the cops had already decided (in their own minds) that OP was the guilty party. The long interrogation was an attempt to coerce a confession and the follow-up trick with the wife being with the cheater at the hospital was another attempt to trap OP.
I can see that. But it also strikes me that that detail was crucial in how OP reacted to the affair -- it's one thing to learn that your wife has been having sex with a different man, and another to learn that she's there supporting that man in the hospital while you're being dragged through the mud at the police station. So it feels like this type of lie might, in different circumstances, have led to OP making some key decisions that he wouldn't have made otherwise, and that... really bugs me.
Like imagine a scenario kinda similar to this, but where the cops lied in such a way as to make OP *think* that his wife had abused their kid (which, in this version, never actually happened), and in response to that thought, OP (who never would have thought that of his wife but he's reeling from all the other revelations so why not believe this one too) does all these things to destroy her life and make sure she never gets near the kid again. And yet the cops would have zero repercussions for creating such havoc toward a person who's innocent of the crimes they accused her of.
It feels like a lot of power to cause psychological damage and even maybe physical harm without any accountability at all. Just "Hey, we wanted to get a reaction out of him, make our jobs easier." Or "but we thought for sure he was the bad guy, so it justifies everything we might do to him until we find out the evidence to prove it."
and all the other women...
Technically they DIDN'T lie... she was in the SAME hospital AS affair partner... just not at his bedside, holding his hand and weeping like they were implying.
Sheesh-- as much as many cops say they hate lawyers, they sure can pull out the same double-speak lawyer talk at the drop of a hat!
Words cannot describe how sorry I feel for OP and his son. They have been through so much pain and trauma! 😭 OP's wife really should be ashamed of herself! 😡 I can only hope things can get better for OP and his son now! ❤
OP should enrol his son in a martial arts club. Not to learn to fight (although self defence is helpful) but it's good fitness and a great way for kids to build self confidence. All the kids in my family (mine, my brothers, my grandkids) have taken it and it really helps with self assuredness and self worth.
That letter is Gold for OPs attorney
That poor baby. Thank god his father knows and has custody. Great job Dad!!!!
OP should write a letter back that only says "You realize how that admission makes things worse right? You need to drop the shovel and quit digging your own hole deeper..."
Nah. Never interrupt the enemy when they're making a mistake.
@@jgraaay18 ah yes Art of War, should be required reading in HS. So much of that book translates extremely well to general life lessons.
@@bhart3321 Actually Napoleon, I believe
Why give her an even break?
Remember always that forgiveness does not mean 'without consequence'.
Bruh I know that it was an investigation but they really traumatised the dude by making him think his wife and son where in danger/hurt, then show him the wife ducking another dude and then confirm that the son is in danger?
Like wtf?
Who holds an interview/interrogation like that?
My dad’s a retired detective and this sounds unprofessional af.
All that aside I hope OP is ok and lawyered up.
I love this guy's lawyer.
"The police wouldn't do that" Oh you poor sweet naïve people.
As a gun owner, I would never leave my gun behind in a situation like this. He likely took it just so his wife wouldn’t have access to it not because he thought he would need it. Y’all just hate guns so much you assume he took it to use it. Imagine if he left that in the house and she took his gun to track down the person who assaulted her affair partner? That would be so much worse.
The guy was having AFFAIRS with MULTIPLE WOMEN. There was no need to worry. That guy was the target.
This woman became a literal monster from her substance abuse. Her choice to not get help early on has done sever harm to everyone who she loved around her. Including her child.
The uncle is one of the kind. 👏👏👏
Getting a divorce is S.O.P. when the wife is caught cheating. I am more interested in who tried to torture kill the AP. It doesn't seem to me that OP would be at risk. The spouses of the AP's other 'conquests' are probable suspects; but why would they go after someone who is in the same boat as they are? It sounds like the criminal connections are the most probable source of the actual perpetrator.
1. Check for STD!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Getting a divorce!
Sounds like there are plenty of suspects for the police to sort through. Could be the spouse of another affair partner, could be a drug deal gone bad, could even be an accident involving the drugs.
Put your son in Martial Arts classes. It will boost his confidence
You don't "decide to start abusing the medicine ". You don't know you're addicted till after it takes hold. By that point, it is physically, excruciatingly painful to stop. The brain rewires quickly when you take opiods. Rewired to crave the painless state opiods bring. Hell of a dr"g.
The role playing the scenarios with the son unlocked a memory for me. My parents drilled what to do in case I was in trouble into me long before I was old enough to go outside alone. To this day, the only phone numbers I don’t have to double check in my phone are my parents’ and my old home phone. My family didn’t even have any issues like OP’s, my parents just wanted my siblings and I to be ready for anything.
It’s not silly. It’s practical.
Divorce her anyway. But, there MIGHT be reconciliation later IF she completes rehab AND IF (extra big IF) she becomes the woman you married and you fall back in love.
I have seen it happen, it is rare, maybe it's my optimistic side, but it can only happen IF she commits to getting better.
stay strong for your son,i also had a addiction problem,that is no excuse to do what she .
Shocking story but great video! Thank you as always!
Post surgery addiction and workplace coercion is more complicated than a “choice” but OP is in now way obliged to help her where he is obligated to help his son.
I utterly love the 'Police would not do that' thinking the entire world has the same laws and regulations to follow 🤣🤣
That woman fuckd up big time.
That marriage is over.
That being said, there is a prescription drug abuse pandemic in USA. And she went down that rabbit hole.
IF she proves to be clean for a long time, does some major therapy, and works on it. In the long run she could hope to rebuild her relationship with her son, and maybe have a respectful interaction with OP.
If she cant do all that, its better that OP and son go no contact with her.
I've heard this one about a month ago but I don't mind listening again.
One last thing. Teach the son all about that uncle.
After everything is done with the divorce, you need to get therapy yourself.
I absolutely hate cheaters its so simple to leave a man before getting another one. Let's not forget endangering her own son with her sleaziness.
Unfortunately, there's a lot of women out there that don't see it that way. They want to have their safe, stable home life with their 'nice guy' who pays the bills and all, but still want to have wild bedroom flings with some bad boy.
Absolutely, though in this case it was never about getting another man; it was about using one man to feed her drug habit while hanging onto the other one as a meal ticket/safe place to fall.
@@addicted2mako It isn’t exactly dissimilar though - she was still looking for thrills outside the marriage while keeping her nice guy in the dark at home, paying all her bills.
I agree with most of what you said. The only part I feel differently about is that she chose to get hooked on her drugs. Most people who get hooked on their pain needs don't do it in purpose.
Thank you so much for this comment 😊..opiates of any kind are extremely dangerous..even prescribed, you can become addicted in a short time..Drs do nothing to warn you..I became addicted after a surgery and it nearly killed me.. I am almost 10 years clean but it definitely ruined my life as i knew it..i am not suggesting she should at all be forgiven..it is a consequence
The opiate epidemic is very real and things need to be dealt with drastically!
"After an hour of this, I just stopped answering their questions..." After 30 mins, if they dont divulge information, you should ask for a lawyer.
Rule number 1: Cops start asking questions, plea the 5th and get a lawyer.
Just remember, when the cops are asking you questions, they're not your friends.
OP, you are not a bad father for not seeing this coming. You are guilty only of assuming the woman you loved was what she pretended to be. I have been in your position, and can assure you that you will be glad six months from now that you found out. My partner was having an affair with my best friend, and as the joke goes, I missed the friend more than the cheater.
You will be fine. What you need to do now is learn to trust again, so you can move on. As for your son, you are making all the right choices. Childen are resilient, so you will both be fine. I took some time, found a faithful and supportive partner and have enjoyed thirty years of happiness. The ex is old, bitter and alone.
Teach him to bake . Sounds odd but gives a since of control in his life.
Every time I hear this story I can't help but think how useless those police are. They did enough detective work to find the husband of the affair partner but not enough to look into who the victim was? His wrap sheet printed "for 5 minutes" but it was def the husband getting revenge and not any of the related gang or dr*g dealings.
They had a cornucopia of potential suspects. OP was just one of them. One way to filter through many suspects is to shake every tree around and look for something that looks wrong. In their place I would probably do the same. Notice that they cut him lose pretty quickly, for an interrogation anyway. His reaction looked normal so they had no reason to look further.
I wonder if OPs uncle saw something in the wife and that’s why he prepared everything, or maybe he was just being cautious. Either way OP definitely needs to lay some flowers on his grave for everything he did
I think the detective lied about where the wife was to try to provoke OP. If he had been responsible for what happened to AP, he might have been spurred on to go make a scene at the hospital.
OP...DO NOT CALL the facility to check on her as a human being from time to time. This is giving her false hope and they won't talk to you anyway because you are not her husband or a direct relative. Cut ties and get on with your life. It will be easier for you and you son.
1.criminal lawyer 2. Divorce lawyer 3. Paternity Test!
Nailed it! Figured AP was her dealer. Don’t believe he was just her “fix” however - she loves the bad boy.
I am an RN, I have lost 2 uncles, 1 aunt, 1 brother and have another who is addicted now. It is not a "choice", anymore than a heart attack or broken arm. My little Brother was given pains meds for minor surgery and was dead 2 years later. I have 38 years of medical exp. If you disagree it is because you are a fool and are wrong.
Honestly bro that guy had it coming. That's why you don't sleep with people who are married. There's NEVER a guarantee that the spouse isn't murd erously vio lent and isn't going to take it out on you.
I'm betting his attack was about drugs not the women he was exploiting. It smacks of the level of overkill used by some drug cartels. That was a message.
god I can't even imagine, poor kid and father...and finding out the worst way 😢 all the trauma...I just want to give them hugs
And omg his his Uncle is a fkin hero, rip Uncle you protected your family
I think I read this post some time ago, if I remember correctly, the STBX died on the facility (OD)
This is the hard one... Painkiller induced tragedy... Opiate addiction can destroys everything... because once you are using them you are automatically hooked..
Why would he assume he would be a target? That’s ridiculous. Why on earth would he have a gun out. Must be America
Never go to any police stations without a lawyer and remember is voluntary there is no need to go.
Tyvm LG.