I identify with everything you said. I know that people can tell that I'm different right away. Maybe only a sentence in. It's really embarrassing. I tend to say stupid things. Or short answers. Like if a person looks at my shirt and says "You like Pink Floyd?", I'll just say "yeah" and leave it there because I have no idea what is supposed to be said after that. In my French class this year, I had a lot of these moments. I know that I seem very aloof and awkward. I'm not sure. So, at the end of the semester, my professor is giving everyone hugs and when she hugs me (I was hoping she wouldn't), she says "ah, sweetheart". She didn't say that about anyone else. And we didn't bond at all. She's a very smart woman, so I'm sure she's knows I'm on the spectrum. :/
Wow I totally get what you are saying. LOL. I put my foot in my mouth I know what you mean or say too much. Or assume people know what I'm talking about sometimes but they are like what are you talking about. It doesn't change much even in middle age. That's why I like work where I don't have to say much but just do. I understand the silence thing that's why I like pets. people exhaust me t times. I get bored too if the topic is sports or some kind of small talk. sometimes I feel like my mouth is a wild animal cn't tame it and never know what I will say to embarrass myself
Sometimes I feel like my eyes are laser beams -- intense and it freaks people out. I have nice eyes I know that part but I feel intense but yet I have a great sense of humor.
I don't think I have Asperger's, but I've definitely always been... strange. I can relate to wanting to engage with others while at the same time being disinterested. I'm more of an observer. It's not really something I think of as needing to be overcome. At the same time there is that need for 'human interaction'. Getting out of your own head for a while is essential. Finding topics to discuss that are both of interest to you & your audience is always the hardest part.
Having Aspergers myself maybe this might sound kind of funny but I was thinking I should have came with a manual. So people could figure me out better.
It is actually a trait of Asperger's to not want to be lonely yet not be able and usually not even want to talk to people. So don't worry you're not alone.
I always thought that I was wierd (different) but now I totally understand myself and am thankful that there are others who have the same way of thinking as me.
i totally relate to this... I often memorise scenarios(Scripts) to use in conversations... but people are so unpredictable they never say what I expect them to say so I can reply with what I ve got on the script... i spend ages thinking silently about what i can contribute to the convo until it ends without me having said a word. Most often it leads to people disliking me or having negative opinions of me. at worst, i've had people verbally attack me :S
5:09 Holy crap. "is there some kind of social code i missed out on?" me.. Every..day. I havent officially been diagnosed but I believe so strongly I have aspergers.
I share your problems in social situations. You voiced a lot of the things I deal with everyday. I do get very anxious and terrified of public speaking, so I differ a bit there. Thanks for the video.
Oh how I feel like what you've talked about. Most people usually never talk to me again after I fail in the first conversation; even people at church. My scope of interests is so narrow that it does make conversations with others very difficult.
This problem is pandemic, Aspies and Neuros appear incompatible, so trying to use N.T. rules as benchmarks is driving As pies mad! Think of this as "Apples and Androids."
Hello, I understand exactly everything your saying .Copying others is about the only way I think you can learn to respond to people, I know something's just seem stupid and pointless , but some of the things people do like wave hello ect.. can be a way to break the ice.say your waiting for a bus or something and you say Hello to someone and they may start talking to you ,it warms things up .I not sure how it works I just since I was young copied people .
Don't know what to say? Ask follow-up questions to whatever someone else says. Then jump in when you think of something. Also don't worry so much about how you will perform. I do agree though, one-to-one conversations are the only way to go. I also prefer to have deep exhaustive conversations and not superficial stupid ones. Group conversations are not fun. Interesting videos BTW.
A lot of what you say resonates with me. I also feel socially inept rather than shy. The distinction of conversing or speaking under certain circumstances is really key in some way - I will speak at work because I know it is required and I absolutely have to. Also, I'm being paid to be there. If I just happen to be somewhere for no reason, I'm likely to be silent, and will have difficulty thinking of anything to say.
I'm absolutely the same way. I function fine talking to employees in stores, and in my youngest adult years was known to get on stage at the karaoke bar and sing before a room of people with no problem, but put me in a situation in which I'll have to talk about myself and give in depth analysis of topics, and then it all falls apart. I explained to a lady last year that I have anxiety, this was before I realised I'm probably an Aspie, and she took that to mean that I'm shy. I'm not shy, and I told her as much. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it is that I experience to tell her clearly, but Asperger's explains it perfectly.
when entering my workplace in the morning I never understood the reason to say hi to every person there cos we know eachother and we are all just suppose to do a work there and I felt like a unnessecary chore to say hi to anyone I encounter around the building. when I go to the store or meet friends elsewhere I say hi and bye but thats more a different thing to me.
I have always had once friend, because for me a friend is someone that you can trust totally, a real friend is hard to find. Usually the friendship ends because my friends or I go to live in others countries.
Read Christopher voss's never split the difference book, it teaches you not only how to weaponize empathy but explains empathy in a logical way, he describes what it is, how it is and WHY it is. None of my brethren will just do it because I say so, but for information gatherings sake it might be fun, extrapolate upon it as you will, but it really is useful
I feel you and i can relate to this. I was exactly the same and i still am up to some point but the desire to change myself a little bit has helped me to have a slightly better model of interaction. The environments can change you to some extent, but anyway we are much better when conversing with another aspie or a like minded person rather than conversing with an NT.
When I don't know how to contribute to a conversation I just stay silent but is quite embarrassing when there is just me and another person, so I hope for another person to enter the room so the person that is with me can talk to her avoiding me the pain to feel forced to entertain her any longer
My understanding is that there are only a few differences in autistic brains verses standard brains. One is the amygdule I think this is the meltdown center, and it could be very different. Another is brain overgrowth of the short neurons in the cerebral cortex, and the last and perhaps most significant is a deficit in long neuron growth. This last one allows me to understand it a little better.
Where have you been? I haven't seen any recent videos. I really like your videos. You're so much like a guy I know who is an Aspie. I really like this guy, but he likes to keep things very superficial. I watch your videos to gain insight. I'm hopeful that in time, he will trust me enough to be comfortable around me 😊
I'm 41 married with children and have recently self diagnosed I'm trying to get an official diagnosis but it's going to take some getting. everything you said it was like I was watching myself it gets easier with age gaining experience on how to communicate but I still don't like it still have awkward moments with people. up until recently probably the past year I thought everybody thought the same as me I was so unaware of been aspie I didn't know lol. for everyone who is going through the same just keep going it's ok don't look at it as a problem but a unique gift...
You sound exactly like me, years ago, but I've evolved into something else. I don't know if this will help you at all. What might help is to put yourself into the conversation and just be honest, and use your imagination to ask questions from your perspective. If you don't know what to say, why not say that. "I just don't know what to say right now." or "I'm starting to feel weird." maybe they'd wonder why. "I don't know, ask my brain.", or if you're like me you notice a lot of irrelevant details like if a person is suddenly not matching in clothing I just tell them, because that's what I saw. "Your clothes don't match today like they usually do." or whatever. People are always the same like "how are you, how was your day, so what do you do, blah blah blah", you know what I mean? It might trick you into thinking you're supposed to find the same radio channel they are on but forget that altogether. So I'm like "Do you know why clouds become dark?", "Do you know why you put pepper in last when you make food?", "Don't you think it's strange that "cute" has to be a certain size, I mean can a dog be cute if it's the size of a skyscraper?", "What is the acceptable amount of being shallow?", "How many grains of sand does it take to make a pile?", "Isn't it odd how time is just a measure to see where things are in relation to each other?" things like that are WAY easier to talk about than today's thoughts and feelings. Instead of usual boring crap. You don't have to be ordinary. It's also okay to ask what on Earth people are talking about, I do that frequently.
cool channel :-) I am glad to have found it...I can totally relate to your experiences with how you feel about group conversations...I have a hard time with small talk and also with the timing of input...I never know when it interject in a group conversation...also, small talk is stressful...I much prefer a deep conversation with a stranger than a small talk conversation with an old friend...also my scope of interest is also very narrow
i can totally relate to u!!!! but its so strange that u worry so much about seeming aqward but u r so intellegent obviously just because of how well u can project exactly wat ur thinking! I feel this all the time but u explain it well
I think it would be good to pay close attention to how people respond to eacher and practice that . it one step at a time and takes conscience work and effort ,it will come easier in time .Don't feel conscience on how your viewed , have confidence in your self .I think your an intelligent person and have a lot to say .it sometimes can take conscience effort to share things with people. But first you have to get their attention and play by their rules .Even if they are illogical.
Ok last relpy to my self LOL. Sometimes people appreciate different perspectives even if so radically different form Their own .When one gets to look at people out side of the box ,It brings on interesting ones .Everybody has something to offer no matter who they are .In order to have one to offer I think it comes through observation mostly ,if your not one to interact all like that .For me , I work on How people think , I make my self .This takes mental effort and energy and it always will.
[ continued ] > I always think of NT's like they are programs. I always try to mimic the behavior of the NT groups i live with and i try to learn about their patterns and their interests so that i can be a much better while conversing with them. It works, even it does feel unnatural many times it still works, not fully but it does to some extent. Anyway, i prefer hanging out with other aspies and like minded persons, because only then i can be myself and feel good.
My Aspie son is definitely not shy, but I am beginning to see that soon he will have trouble communicating with his peers. Although he has no trouble striking up a conversation with anyone, he is most comfortable talking to adults. I don't think I'm Aspie, but I tend toward being anti-social. Therefore, I can relate much of the time to not grasping the point of unnecessary conversation.
It tends to help to just see their expressions as an opportunity to make a funny comment. I try to find a way to make a humorous comment to whatever illogical meaningless stuff they say.. only responding seriously to something they find serious themselves or that I find meaningful to respond to. at least that's what I try to do.
Generally I feel the same as you do. Also people think I'm a lot younger than my actual age, since I use very strange words, and phrases when I talk. =] Resonantly I feel very sad and depressed, because I never really had any friends. I totally gave up having conversation with other people... T.T
I cannot believe that you feel you may have lost friends due to not being..."normal". That is preposterous. You seem like a perfectly reasonable human being. I am so sorry to hear that.
say something stupid or rude without realizing until someone says something. I've always felt like the odd one out because my old group of friends all loved being social but I was never like that. I put the "IDGAF attitude" around them and they liked that about me. They didn't know it was just to cover up my insecurities. I stopped hanging out with them much since one of them used to be rude to me and I was tired of putting on a mask. I only have my boyfriend as a person I can trust now :\
I met a person at work whom I suspect may have the same condition. He talks a lot like you, with the same tone, and typically doesn't use body language with anyone. I still wish to be friends with him. What's the best way to interact with him?
I don't know why people make a big deal out of it, some people just aren't socially adequate compared to others. I can't contribute and abide to conversations either, we all intend to have different bodies, minds, traits and chromosomes. nobody in this world is going to act the same, be the same and have the same interest and qualities as others, that's what makes us human beings and individuals. I never had friends and lacked communication with others, it doesn't mean put me down for it.
Try talking to someone at work if you work ,or family members .Use them to practice on .starting a conversation .force your self to be interested lol and listen very closely to them and anyone your around when they talk. Observe and figure them out how they think ,how people think what makes them tick figure out the social rules objectively and try to understand them ,in your own way. Sharing interests is one good way of connecting ,but trying to understand them( people) is very important .
My life tho, sad sad life. But I feel uncomfortable as hell in silence if there is me and other person. Like just we 2. And if we are standing there I feel that I need to say something but I'm afraid he would think that I'm a creep.
I feel the exact same way :\ I do well in most one on one conversations but in groups, I hardly add to the conversation. I can't talk about things I don't know about either. At my boyfriend's family's events, half the time their talking about the family and shit they've done while I sit there saying nothing because Idk what to say. They talk about people Idk a lot and they wonder why I don't add to the conversation. If I try to talk about things I don't know much about/care for, I always (cont)
I have to keep struggling with the notion that some new technique or plan will help me *finally get it together* in the world....total delusion on my part.
You and I should hang out. I have aspergers too and I talk a lot, I think I would make up for you not talking as much. :p To me it would be fun just creep people out on purpose. Sometimes I do that.
i am both glad that ther r people just like me but sad because i too have this feeling of decomposition always alone i just can not understand people r u on fb ?i like to become fb friends with u --i love ur videos
Without the tactile connections of long neurons your forced to go though billions of short neurons. Forced to go through the reasoning center of the brain, and to log and store a full mind of detail. This might be good, but it means you are unable to easily redirect your thoughts to perform and gain in trust and conversation for an exchange of goods. At worst you try and find a real solution, insult them rather than exchanging social cash.
You don't have to talk when you don't have nothing to say, otherwise you will probably say stupid things not worth to be sayd at all as it always happens to me. ps: sorry for my English
don't get me wrong, i'm just curious. do people affected with asperger's syndrome have trouble to express emotions? because you are always monotone in your videos, or maybe you're just camera shy
I'm an aspie and i never quite get why people say I'm "monotone". Am I supposed to make faces and smile and raise my voice when I speak normally? I can do that well in public speaking, making things a bit "wrestling promo-ish" but to good effect. Especially if I do get to ramble on about my favorite things and have a receptive audience. But in real life group small talk that never really works. Neurotypicals just end up talking about topics I have absolutely no interests of and I just end up listening without ever contributing and wishing I wasn't stuck there.
majungasaurusaaaa it happens a lot of the time to be not really interested in a conversation even for a neurotypical person. if i meet a group of people who is talking about sports or maybe some king of heavy metal group i don't say anything because i'm not interested in that stuff or at maximum i can say that i don't like sports and that's it. but if the group is talking about a topic that i like then i will talk. People "make faces" and raise their voices because when we are excited this is what happens, i don't know how an aspie make sex but when a person make sex he feels a lot of emotions and this change their voice, sometime when i get passionate about a topic and i feel moved my voice tremble a little bit. that is a normal way to express what we feel but not every person is the same
+Tecnovlog I have Aspergers and from my perspective I'd say to my notice, that a lot of my emotions get underplayed or overplayed, it's a weird mix of being completely non-feeling to being extremely passionate. It's a blend of complete understanding of yourself with some doses of horrible confusion and questions to yourself, about yourself. A good example is if someone died and everyone is sad and crying and I feel nothing at all, except that I'm sorry. I don't share the pain, but I'm still sorry and I care. I don't want you to be sad, but I'm not sad, except because you are. You might be panicking because we are in a dangerous situation and I can with no problem act rationally, while later we might be going over a high bridge and I have a crippling fear of heights and I notice this that things that should scare me make me feel nothing, while other situations that I shouldn't worry about scare me to bits. I can get physically ill when everyone is talking at the same time, but I can stand in front of an audience with thousands of people, because the drowning noise of thousands of people is nothing compared to 3-4 people talking at the same time, cause then I can't help myself from taking in all the info. Listening in on only one conversation is impossible. You also asked about sex. Pleasing someone is extremely addictive, even if my arousal is absolute zero, very often. It's like not having any turn-ons at all and making it work anyway. I don't know what "sexy" is, I only know what it looks like, to other people. Same goes with "cute" or "a beautiful sunset" I know what it looks like but I don't feel anything, but I can be extremely fascinated and excited about things I never saw before.
I's different when you talk with someone with whom you have common interests. Frankly, talking about x going out with y and betraying z doen't interest me at all.
You should add me on Facebook so we can talk. I've never been diagnosed with the syndrome but I feel I can relate so much that it feels as though you are describing me. Add: Chelsea Dey Fleming . Then again I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't fall into social media
I identify with everything you said. I know that people can tell that I'm different right away. Maybe only a sentence in. It's really embarrassing. I tend to say stupid things. Or short answers. Like if a person looks at my shirt and says "You like Pink Floyd?", I'll just say "yeah" and leave it there because I have no idea what is supposed to be said after that.
In my French class this year, I had a lot of these moments. I know that I seem very aloof and awkward. I'm not sure. So, at the end of the semester, my professor is giving everyone hugs and when she hugs me (I was hoping she wouldn't), she says "ah, sweetheart". She didn't say that about anyone else. And we didn't bond at all. She's a very smart woman, so I'm sure she's knows I'm on the spectrum. :/
Wow I totally get what you are saying. LOL. I put my foot in my mouth I know what you mean or say too much. Or assume people know what I'm talking about sometimes but they are like what are you talking about. It doesn't change much even in middle age. That's why I like work where I don't have to say much but just do. I understand the silence thing that's why I like pets. people exhaust me t times. I get bored too if the topic is sports or some kind of small talk. sometimes I feel like my mouth is a wild animal cn't tame it and never know what I will say to embarrass myself
Sometimes I feel like my eyes are laser beams -- intense and it freaks people out. I have nice eyes I know that part but I feel intense but yet I have a great sense of humor.
I'm 28. I just learned about this. It explains so much. I thought i was a bad person for the way i thought; i wish I'd seen this before
I don't think I have Asperger's, but I've definitely always been... strange. I can relate to wanting to engage with others while at the same time being disinterested. I'm more of an observer. It's not really something I think of as needing to be overcome. At the same time there is that need for 'human interaction'. Getting out of your own head for a while is essential. Finding topics to discuss that are both of interest to you & your audience is always the hardest part.
I think you are so amazing and you understand yourself so well.
Having Aspergers myself maybe this might sound kind of funny but I was thinking I should have came with a manual. So people could figure me out better.
It is actually a trait of Asperger's to not want to be lonely yet not be able and usually not even want to talk to people. So don't worry you're not alone.
I always thought that I was wierd (different) but now I totally understand myself and am thankful that there are others who have the same way of thinking as me.
You and I are cut from the exact same cloth.
I love how you say there seems to be some code that everyone was implanted with at birth and somehow it missed you.
i totally relate to this... I often memorise scenarios(Scripts) to use in conversations... but people are so unpredictable they never say what I expect them to say so I can reply with what I ve got on the script... i spend ages thinking silently about what i can contribute to the convo until it ends without me having said a word. Most often it leads to people disliking me or having negative opinions of me. at worst, i've had people verbally attack me :S
5:09 Holy crap. "is there some kind of social code i missed out on?" me.. Every..day. I havent officially been diagnosed but I believe so strongly I have aspergers.
I share your problems in social situations.
You voiced a lot of the things I deal with everyday.
I do get very anxious and terrified of public speaking, so I differ a bit there.
Thanks for the video.
Oh how I feel like what you've talked about. Most people usually never talk to me again after I fail in the first conversation; even people at church. My scope of interests is so narrow that it does make conversations with others very difficult.
You just explained my ability to have a conversation perfectly. I am not exaggerating at all. This is exactly how I feel.
Were the same. There are tons of us so hey at least were not alone and we are fun nice people.
This problem is pandemic, Aspies and Neuros appear incompatible, so trying to use N.T. rules as benchmarks is driving As pies mad! Think of this as "Apples and Androids."
Hello, I understand exactly everything your saying .Copying others is about the only way I think you can learn to respond to people, I know something's just seem stupid and pointless , but some of the things people do like wave hello ect.. can be a way to break the ice.say your waiting for a bus or something and you say Hello to someone and they may start talking to you ,it warms things up .I not sure how it works I just since I was young copied people .
Don't know what to say? Ask follow-up questions to whatever someone else says. Then jump in when you think of something. Also don't worry so much about how you will perform. I do agree though, one-to-one conversations are the only way to go. I also prefer to have deep exhaustive conversations and not superficial stupid ones. Group conversations are not fun. Interesting videos BTW.
A lot of what you say resonates with me. I also feel socially inept rather than shy. The distinction of conversing or speaking under certain circumstances is really key in some way - I will speak at work because I know it is required and I absolutely have to. Also, I'm being paid to be there. If I just happen to be somewhere for no reason, I'm likely to be silent, and will have difficulty thinking of anything to say.
I'm absolutely the same way. I function fine talking to employees in stores, and in my youngest adult years was known to get on stage at the karaoke bar and sing before a room of people with no problem, but put me in a situation in which I'll have to talk about myself and give in depth analysis of topics, and then it all falls apart. I explained to a lady last year that I have anxiety, this was before I realised I'm probably an Aspie, and she took that to mean that I'm shy. I'm not shy, and I told her as much. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it is that I experience to tell her clearly, but Asperger's explains it perfectly.
After "things don't go well" socially OVER AND OVER AND OVER...It starts to feel pointless.
Thank you you explained this so well,.I can understand my AS son so well regarding !!....conversation ,....excellent!!..
when entering my workplace in the morning I never understood the reason to say hi to every person there cos we know eachother and we are all just suppose to do a work there and I felt like a unnessecary chore to say hi to anyone I encounter around the building. when I go to the store or meet friends elsewhere I say hi and bye but thats more a different thing to me.
I have always had once friend, because for me a friend is someone that you can trust totally, a real friend is hard to find. Usually the friendship ends because my friends or I go to live in others countries.
Very impressive how you stay on topic. I struggle with that. Just started my channel.
The first thing about other people talking about things that I have no idea about is what happened to me a lot in high school.
Read Christopher voss's never split the difference book, it teaches you not only how to weaponize empathy but explains empathy in a logical way, he describes what it is, how it is and WHY it is. None of my brethren will just do it because I say so, but for information gatherings sake it might be fun, extrapolate upon it as you will, but it really is useful
I feel you and i can relate to this. I was exactly the same and i still am up to some point but the desire to change myself a little bit has helped me to have a slightly better model of interaction. The environments can change you to some extent, but anyway we are much better when conversing with another aspie or a like minded person rather than conversing with an NT.
When I don't know how to contribute to a conversation I just stay silent but is quite embarrassing when there is just me and another person, so I hope for another person to enter the room so the person that is with me can talk to her avoiding me the pain to feel forced to entertain her any longer
My understanding is that there are only a few differences in autistic brains verses standard brains. One is the amygdule I think this is the meltdown center, and it could be very different. Another is brain overgrowth of the short neurons in the cerebral cortex, and the last and perhaps most significant is a deficit in long neuron growth. This last one allows me to understand it a little better.
thx for the video...im aspie too. u should consider asking people questions about themselves, let them do the heavy lifting.
Where have you been? I haven't seen any recent videos. I really like your videos. You're so much like a guy I know who is an Aspie. I really like this guy, but he likes to keep things very superficial. I watch your videos to gain insight. I'm hopeful that in time, he will trust me enough to be comfortable around me 😊
the same.good at long deep conversations on something i'm interested in and not with small talk,small talk is painful.
I'm 41 married with children and have recently self diagnosed I'm trying to get an official diagnosis but it's going to take some getting. everything you said it was like I was watching myself it gets easier with age gaining experience on how to communicate but I still don't like it still have awkward moments with people. up until recently probably the past year I thought everybody thought the same as me I was so unaware of been aspie I didn't know lol. for everyone who is going through the same just keep going it's ok don't look at it as a problem but a unique gift...
You sound exactly like me, years ago, but I've evolved into something else. I don't know if this will help you at all.
What might help is to put yourself into the conversation and just be honest, and use your imagination to ask questions from your perspective. If you don't know what to say, why not say that. "I just don't know what to say right now." or "I'm starting to feel weird." maybe they'd wonder why. "I don't know, ask my brain.", or if you're like me you notice a lot of irrelevant details like if a person is suddenly not matching in clothing I just tell them, because that's what I saw. "Your clothes don't match today like they usually do." or whatever.
People are always the same like "how are you, how was your day, so what do you do, blah blah blah", you know what I mean? It might trick you into thinking you're supposed to find the same radio channel they are on but forget that altogether.
So I'm like "Do you know why clouds become dark?", "Do you know why you put pepper in last when you make food?", "Don't you think it's strange that "cute" has to be a certain size, I mean can a dog be cute if it's the size of a skyscraper?", "What is the acceptable amount of being shallow?", "How many grains of sand does it take to make a pile?", "Isn't it odd how time is just a measure to see where things are in relation to each other?" things like that are WAY easier to talk about than today's thoughts and feelings.
Instead of usual boring crap. You don't have to be ordinary. It's also okay to ask what on Earth people are talking about, I do that frequently.
cool channel :-) I am glad to have found it...I can totally relate to your experiences with how you feel about group conversations...I have a hard time with small talk and also with the timing of input...I never know when it interject in a group conversation...also, small talk is stressful...I much prefer a deep conversation with a stranger than a small talk conversation with an old friend...also my scope of interest is also very narrow
i can totally relate to u!!!! but its so strange that u worry so much about seeming aqward but u r so intellegent obviously just because of how well u can project exactly wat ur thinking! I feel this all the time but u explain it well
I think it would be good to pay close attention to how people respond to eacher and practice that . it one step at a time and takes conscience work and effort ,it will come easier in time .Don't feel conscience on how your viewed , have confidence in your self .I think your an intelligent person and have a lot to say .it sometimes can take conscience effort to share things with people. But first you have to get their attention and play by their rules .Even if they are illogical.
Ok last relpy to my self LOL. Sometimes people appreciate different perspectives even if so radically different form Their own .When one gets to look at people out side of the box ,It brings on interesting ones .Everybody has something to offer no matter who they are .In order to have one to offer I think it comes through observation mostly ,if your not one to interact all like that .For me , I work on How people think , I make my self .This takes mental effort and energy and it always will.
Wow man we are like the same person. I feel the exact same way as you do about all that you've said in this video.
[ continued ] > I always think of NT's like they are programs. I always try to mimic the behavior of the NT groups i live with and i try to learn about their patterns and their interests so that i can be a much better while conversing with them. It works, even it does feel unnatural many times it still works, not fully but it does to some extent. Anyway, i prefer hanging out with other aspies and like minded persons, because only then i can be myself and feel good.
My Aspie son is definitely not shy, but I am beginning to see that soon he will have trouble communicating with his peers. Although he has no trouble striking up a conversation with anyone, he is most comfortable talking to adults. I don't think I'm Aspie, but I tend toward being anti-social. Therefore, I can relate much of the time to not grasping the point of unnecessary conversation.
It tends to help to just see their expressions as an opportunity to make a funny comment. I try to find a way to make a humorous comment to whatever illogical meaningless stuff they say.. only responding seriously to something they find serious themselves or that I find meaningful to respond to. at least that's what I try to do.
'Wrong planet' is dead right. So many things that go over my head...
Generally I feel the same as you do. Also people think I'm a lot younger than my actual age, since I use very strange words, and phrases when I talk. =]
Resonantly I feel very sad and depressed, because I never really had any friends.
I totally gave up having conversation with other people... T.T
I can identify with everything you said, I was recently diagnosed in my 20´s and now everything makes so much sense! p.s I think I fancy you! haha
i feel the same but only i don't know if i'm shy (socialphobic etc.) and/ or aspie.
I cannot believe that you feel you may have lost friends due to not being..."normal". That is preposterous. You seem like a perfectly reasonable human being. I am so sorry to hear that.
say something stupid or rude without realizing until someone says something. I've always felt like the odd one out because my old group of friends all loved being social but I was never like that. I put the "IDGAF attitude" around them and they liked that about me. They didn't know it was just to cover up my insecurities. I stopped hanging out with them much since one of them used to be rude to me and I was tired of putting on a mask. I only have my boyfriend as a person I can trust now :\
You're so lovely and astute.
there is no sound to this video
I met a person at work whom I suspect may have the same condition. He talks a lot like you, with the same tone, and typically doesn't use body language with anyone. I still wish to be friends with him. What's the best way to interact with him?
My son has the same thing. Can you help him...
I don't know why people make a big deal out of it, some people just aren't socially adequate compared to others. I can't contribute and abide to conversations either, we all intend to have different bodies, minds, traits and chromosomes. nobody in this world is going to act the same, be the same and have the same interest and qualities as others, that's what makes us human beings and individuals. I never had friends and lacked communication with others, it doesn't mean put me down for it.
Try talking to someone at work if you work ,or family members .Use them to practice on .starting a conversation .force your self to be interested lol and listen very closely to them and anyone your around when they talk. Observe and figure them out how they think ,how people think what makes them tick figure out the social rules objectively and try to understand them ,in your own way. Sharing interests is one good way of connecting ,but trying to understand them( people) is very important .
My life tho, sad sad life. But I feel uncomfortable as hell in silence if there is me and other person. Like just we 2. And if we are standing there I feel that I need to say something but I'm afraid he would think that I'm a creep.
Sounds like Social anxiety to me.
Matthew Sparrow No, he's my crush.
We have a lot in common, but I am more a shy Aspie.
I feel the exact same way :\ I do well in most one on one conversations but in groups, I hardly add to the conversation. I can't talk about things I don't know about either. At my boyfriend's family's events, half the time their talking about the family and shit they've done while I sit there saying nothing because Idk what to say. They talk about people Idk a lot and they wonder why I don't add to the conversation. If I try to talk about things I don't know much about/care for, I always (cont)
I have to keep struggling with the notion that some new technique or plan will help me *finally get it together* in the world....total delusion on my part.
You and I should hang out. I have aspergers too and I talk a lot, I think I would make up for you not talking as much. :p
To me it would be fun just creep people out on purpose. Sometimes I do that.
I relate to everything you said.
i am both glad that ther r people just like me but sad because i too have this feeling of decomposition always alone i just can not understand people r u on fb ?i like to become fb friends with u --i love ur videos
Don't you use scripts while being in conversation with others or just when you go outside?
Same here!
Without the tactile connections of long neurons your forced to go though billions of short neurons. Forced to go through the reasoning center of the brain, and to log and store a full mind of detail. This might be good, but it means you are unable to easily redirect your thoughts to perform and gain in trust and conversation for an exchange of goods. At worst you try and find a real solution, insult them rather than exchanging social cash.
I'm exactly the same way
You don't have to talk when you don't have nothing to say, otherwise you will probably say stupid things not worth to be sayd at all as it always happens to me.
ps: sorry for my English
when I struggle to seem normal
don't get me wrong, i'm just curious. do people affected with asperger's syndrome have trouble to express emotions? because you are always monotone in your videos, or maybe you're just camera shy
I'm an aspie and i never quite get why people say I'm "monotone". Am I supposed to make faces and smile and raise my voice when I speak normally? I can do that well in public speaking, making things a bit "wrestling promo-ish" but to good effect. Especially if I do get to ramble on about my favorite things and have a receptive audience. But in real life group small talk that never really works. Neurotypicals just end up talking about topics I have absolutely no interests of and I just end up listening without ever contributing and wishing I wasn't stuck there.
Yes, Aspies have difficulties to express emotions. Actually it is a major trait.
majungasaurusaaaa it happens a lot of the time to be not really interested in a conversation even for a neurotypical person. if i meet a group of people who is talking about sports or maybe some king of heavy metal group i don't say anything because i'm not interested in that stuff or at maximum i can say that i don't like sports and that's it. but if the group is talking about a topic that i like then i will talk. People "make faces" and raise their voices because when we are excited this is what happens, i don't know how an aspie make sex but when a person make sex he feels a lot of emotions and this change their voice, sometime when i get passionate about a topic and i feel moved my voice tremble a little bit. that is a normal way to express what we feel but not every person is the same
+Tecnovlog
I have Aspergers and from my perspective I'd say to my notice, that a lot of my emotions get underplayed or overplayed, it's a weird mix of being completely non-feeling to being extremely passionate. It's a blend of complete understanding of yourself with some doses of horrible confusion and questions to yourself, about yourself.
A good example is if someone died and everyone is sad and crying and I feel nothing at all, except that I'm sorry. I don't share the pain, but I'm still sorry and I care. I don't want you to be sad, but I'm not sad, except because you are.
You might be panicking because we are in a dangerous situation and I can with no problem act rationally, while later we might be going over a high bridge and I have a crippling fear of heights and I notice this that things that should scare me make me feel nothing, while other situations that I shouldn't worry about scare me to bits.
I can get physically ill when everyone is talking at the same time, but I can stand in front of an audience with thousands of people, because the drowning noise of thousands of people is nothing compared to 3-4 people talking at the same time, cause then I can't help myself from taking in all the info. Listening in on only one conversation is impossible.
You also asked about sex. Pleasing someone is extremely addictive, even if my arousal is absolute zero, very often. It's like not having any turn-ons at all and making it work anyway. I don't know what "sexy" is, I only know what it looks like, to other people.
Same goes with "cute" or "a beautiful sunset" I know what it looks like but I don't feel anything, but I can be extremely fascinated and excited about things I never saw before.
Woah
Oh gawd me and you are so alike
I's different when you talk with someone with whom you have common interests. Frankly, talking about x going out with y and betraying z doen't interest me at all.
How about starting one people leave me out in the cold.
I think you're super cute you seem like a really sweet guy
100%
You should add me on Facebook so we can talk. I've never been diagnosed with the syndrome but I feel I can relate so much that it feels as though you are describing me. Add: Chelsea Dey Fleming . Then again I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't fall into social media
I'm not sure if you enjoy the humor of my name or are being sarcastic XD