I had a random conversation with a random person yesterday, I found myself using the F word for a reason the wasn't quite obvious to me, but you explain it quite well, to appear cool or hip, it was completely unwarranted as the person and the conversation were random enough with F bombs adding complications. Thank you Sam, I wish a expletively excellent new year.
Interesting! I have noticed the cussing and lack of formal register in my narcissistic person. I thought it’s because he is bilingual, but I can definitely see it as his part of his toddler narcopath-ness.
LOL… Just yesterday I was minding my own business in a 35mph zone when I ended up behind a guy going 30… I stayed there for a minute since I wasn’t in a rush… but then I moved over… And at the next stop light, I saw his chubby middle finger pointing in my direction…. I just laughed thinking Wow!!! you-too!!… Cuz driving under the limit, whilst deciding to be pissed at me for his own wrongdoing, is petty as hell!!
Yes! It took many years to identify that my ex husband communicates for EFFECT rather than clarity! Our (exhausting) time together has me CONVINCED he instinctually communicates this way because it gives him wiggle room to ‘reframe’ statements to ‘mean’ something else later if he wants!
I find myself swearing much more than I would like. Both my parents cursed so much around me as a child and I also see it much more with working class people from my area in the UK. It makes me wince when I hear myself almost on autopilot but I’m trying to curb it. Would you not say that it may come from poor vocabulary and maybe from lack of confidence when talking? It’s almost used as filler words with some people rather than directed at something or someone
I say My scare-swearwords in a loud voice and then I am suddenly the calmest being on the face of earth. People are literally getting sick of this repeated delusional behavioural pattern
Sam, I’m from BROOKLYN! And now I live in rural Hawai’i in the “rough side”of the jungle . In Brooklyn we learn the alphabet like this “fuk ken Aaay””fuk ken Bee” and so on. And, I was raised by narcissist who were trying to survive in a hostile environment . It took many years of self learning and sincerely listening to successful people to be coached out of saying things like “what the actual eff and eff the effen eff” and so on. I still am more around the jungle these days and the lifestyle is honest and raw. Things are friendly and so is common language because we all respect the nature of the environment. Many people don’t even wear shoes most of the time. However, like in Brooklyn, things can turn very rough very fast. And among some of the people who are more close to either the streets or the jungle, we will hear cursing as part of the common speak. I am well aware it is due to the poverty that has become part of some of the lifestyle in both areas . However, I also have come to realize that kind words and understanding , as well as listening skills and not showing fear when met with outward hostility has a profound effect on bring a common bond where acceptance and kindness can begin to grow. It’s like warrior training in the streets and towns of America where every neighborhood has a slightly different style and even local slang, but, the troubles and over coming of obstacles are all the same. Many people are wounded as a culture these days. And the predatory “healers” and “tribal leaders” are the real narcissistic dangerous ones. The “doctors” who are doing drugs in sex cults that have popped up as “healing retreats” and “spiritual ritual shamanic journies” ect that people need to be warned about. These people are criminal ! And I see young people flocking to these places to be “free” to basically so drugs and be promiscuous without anyone or anything making them think. It’s like pinocheo how people run to have fun to these snake oil salesmen . But those people I know who drop curses because they are hurt and angry as a group or culture, well maybe it’s because they have been collectively hurt by the elitist who use their powers of understanding against the good common folk. Does that make sense Sam? Inquiring minds want to know.
Thanks for this. What about foul language, delivered with aggression, to get 'negative' attention - would that still indicate narcissism? My narcissistic person used foul language as a weapon, as verbal violence, designed to intimidate and hurt and get attention that way too.
Oh no Professor Sam! I swear alot. BUT can curb it in certain places and situations. I always thought that those who swear more are freer and less repressed.
I find they are usually people who 1. Do it out of habit. (Gives off a low class vibe) 2. Use the f word in sentences for a filler for no reason at all the way some people use "uum and uhhh aaahhhh" (this one gives of a low intelligence vibe) 3. They are showoffy type people who want to be noticed. And think it makes them "cool" but it don't.
Hey, Sam, can a narcissist be a combination of all NPD subtypes? I knew a "malignant narcissist" (he was officially diagnosed with both ASPD and NPD) who thought himself perfect on every level; somatic, cerebral, communal, etc. Essentially, he saw himself as the suave, handsome, and strong (somatic), hyperintelligent (cerebral), criminal mastermind who was above the law and that nobody dared to "F-word" with, but also had a "heart of gold" (however superficial and performative it was) and kept his tight circle of people (more like flying monkeys, or better yet, cultists) "protected" (communal).
I thought about this subject a lot in my teens. Besides trying to be cute, edgy, tart--what-have-you...a lot of people use profanity as a lazy way artificially bolster their fluency. Crude filler words may be taking the place of "um"s & "uh"s they'd otherwise mull around in while trying to push through lagging trains of thought. And if they studied to learn a wider array of adjectives, they could make 2-3x the impact they're desiring, whilst also not weighing the mood of the room down with their low-vibe BS.
With the ex it wasn't just the "f" bomb, it was the disrespectful name calling using other "curse words", and the constant yelling, and the complaining. You never knew when she'd start, or worse, when she'd even stop. I'd try to calm her down but that only seemed to make things worse and turn it around on me. That's only a small sample.
Sam...i posted a comment on your "covert psychopath " video im very interested in your opinion on my question, this comment here is in hopes you will see my other comment and be able to provide your opinion . If the info i provided isnt enough to determine psychopath or not i can fill in the pieces that may be missing . Thank you
In my adult life I've seen this kind of person in office spaces, the flagrant f bomber. Here they stick out. This also describes the majority of my classmates throughout high School. So it's? A persistent adaptive behavior?
Someone at work who is absolutely a covert narc tends to use 'we' when they mean 'I'. They will use 'I' though if it suits the purpose of appearing humble etc. The boss, probable psychopath, similarly uses 'we' but the motivation seems different, more of a power-play, to pre-empt any dissent from among the actual 'we'.
I have no psychological education at all, but I'd say that they do that to validate himself/herself in third person. Something like that, lol. It may be a bit of a narc thing to do, but not necessarily or by default. I can see some narcs doing this, for sure, for their own purposes.
What I don't get is why it's called 'swearing' which was more of an American way to describe it. In this part of the world it's called 'cursing'. I think the word 'cursing' is more accurate.
I had a random conversation with a random person yesterday, I found myself using the F word for a reason the wasn't quite obvious to me, but you explain it quite well, to appear cool or hip, it was completely unwarranted as the person and the conversation were random enough with F bombs adding complications. Thank you Sam, I wish a expletively excellent new year.
You have described my aunt and her antics down to a tee. She is so bizarre, self-centred, inconsiderate and upsetting.
Interesting! I have noticed the cussing and lack of formal register in my narcissistic person. I thought it’s because he is bilingual, but I can definitely see it as his part of his toddler narcopath-ness.
Sounds like my loud, obnoxious neighbours, horrible people. Even speaks to their children like that.🤨
I've learned alot from you. Thanks!
I'm a self-appointed effing student, and I effing love your lectures! 😂
LOL… Just yesterday I was minding my own business in a 35mph zone when I ended up behind a guy going 30… I stayed there for a minute since I wasn’t in a rush… but then I moved over… And at the next stop light, I saw his chubby middle finger pointing in my direction…. I just laughed thinking Wow!!! you-too!!… Cuz driving under the limit, whilst deciding to be pissed at me for his own wrongdoing, is petty as hell!!
F-16 😂
Prof, you look great on this one!
Yes! It took many years to identify that my ex husband communicates for EFFECT rather than clarity!
Our (exhausting) time together has me CONVINCED he instinctually communicates this way because it gives him wiggle room to ‘reframe’ statements to ‘mean’ something else later if he wants!
Someone is in a good mood today. Happy Holidays Sam
I find myself swearing much more than I would like. Both my parents cursed so much around me as a child and I also see it much more with working class people from my area in the UK. It makes me wince when I hear myself almost on autopilot but I’m trying to curb it.
Would you not say that it may come from poor vocabulary and maybe from lack of confidence when talking? It’s almost used as filler words with some people rather than directed at something or someone
We’re just from Essex 😂
Or Balkans.😅
I love your humour ❤🎉😂
I wish you a Not Worse New Year Sam
Top two places you will hear “F bombs” the most are the Military and Prison.
And the stock market 😅
@ Yeah, didn’t think of that one, but 100% accurate.
So the repulsion to such language is actually valid, and serves as self-defence?
Yes. Uncanny valley reaction.
I say My scare-swearwords in a loud voice and then I am suddenly the calmest being on the face of earth.
People are literally getting sick of this repeated delusional behavioural pattern
Sam, I’m from BROOKLYN! And now I live in rural Hawai’i in the “rough side”of the jungle . In Brooklyn we learn the alphabet like this “fuk ken Aaay””fuk ken Bee” and so on. And, I was raised by narcissist who were trying to survive in a hostile environment . It took many years of self learning and sincerely listening to successful people to be coached out of saying things like “what the actual eff and eff the effen eff” and so on. I still am more around the jungle these days and the lifestyle is honest and raw. Things are friendly and so is common language because we all respect the nature of the environment. Many people don’t even wear shoes most of the time. However, like in Brooklyn, things can turn very rough very fast. And among some of the people who are more close to either the streets or the jungle, we will hear cursing as part of the common speak. I am well aware it is due to the poverty that has become part of some of the lifestyle in both areas . However, I also have come to realize that kind words and understanding , as well as listening skills and not showing fear when met with outward hostility has a profound effect on bring a common bond where acceptance and kindness can begin to grow. It’s like warrior training in the streets and towns of America where every neighborhood has a slightly different style and even local slang, but, the troubles and over coming of obstacles are all the same. Many people are wounded as a culture these days. And the predatory “healers” and “tribal leaders” are the real narcissistic dangerous ones. The “doctors” who are doing drugs in sex cults that have popped up as “healing retreats” and “spiritual ritual shamanic journies” ect that people need to be warned about. These people are criminal ! And I see young people flocking to these places to be “free” to basically so drugs and be promiscuous without anyone or anything making them think. It’s like pinocheo how people run to have fun to these snake oil salesmen . But those people I know who drop curses because they are hurt and angry as a group or culture, well maybe it’s because they have been collectively hurt by the elitist who use their powers of understanding against the good common folk. Does that make sense Sam? Inquiring minds want to know.
Oh my Gosh, just hearing Sam say the word, "Fart," twice I burst out laughing. But then again, sometimes do enjoy my second childhood.
A long time ago I read a book about swearing that referred to bad words as “words of power.”
People do this much more when drunk
Alcohol induces grandiosity ("alcohol myopia"). Search the addictions playlist.
@samvaknin thanks, I will!
Thanks for this. What about foul language, delivered with aggression, to get 'negative' attention - would that still indicate narcissism?
My narcissistic person used foul language as a weapon, as verbal violence, designed to intimidate and hurt and get attention that way too.
Time to watch the video.
Oh no Professor Sam! I swear alot. BUT can curb it in certain places and situations. I always thought that those who swear more are freer and less repressed.
Nope. Just show-offs.
😂🎉❤@@samvaknin
Why do women always think being vulgar equates to being more free?
I find they are usually people who
1. Do it out of habit. (Gives off a low class vibe)
2. Use the f word in sentences for a filler for no reason at all the way some people use "uum and uhhh aaahhhh" (this one gives of a low intelligence vibe)
3. They are showoffy type people who want to be noticed. And think it makes them "cool" but it don't.
Studies show cussing make you feel better. It’s a great stress reliever and sometimes just what is needed. Hell yes.@@LightShifterShadowDrifter
This one was personal 😅
Hilarious ending - I also agree.
You always nail it sir ,Happy New Year to you and yours 🎉🥳🎊
Hey, Sam, can a narcissist be a combination of all NPD subtypes? I knew a "malignant narcissist" (he was officially diagnosed with both ASPD and NPD) who thought himself perfect on every level; somatic, cerebral, communal, etc. Essentially, he saw himself as the suave, handsome, and strong (somatic), hyperintelligent (cerebral), criminal mastermind who was above the law and that nobody dared to "F-word" with, but also had a "heart of gold" (however superficial and performative it was) and kept his tight circle of people (more like flying monkeys, or better yet, cultists) "protected" (communal).
Search the Mind playlist.
I thought about this subject a lot in my teens.
Besides trying to be cute, edgy, tart--what-have-you...a lot of people use profanity as a lazy way artificially bolster their fluency.
Crude filler words may be taking the place of "um"s & "uh"s they'd otherwise mull around in while trying to push through lagging trains of thought.
And if they studied to learn a wider array of adjectives, they could make 2-3x the impact they're desiring, whilst also not weighing the mood of the room down with their low-vibe BS.
With the ex it wasn't just the "f" bomb, it was the disrespectful name calling using other "curse words", and the constant yelling, and the complaining. You never knew when she'd start, or worse, when she'd even stop. I'd try to calm her down but that only seemed to make things worse and turn it around on me. That's only a small sample.
You the best f*cking guy with this stuff. I'm f*cking serious ;)
Welp, I know my resolution for 2025.
I thought it was because I was Welsh, everyone swears here, but will try to stop
Are you a narcissist? If not, this doesn't apply to you.
@@IYK3 Well there must be traits that are best avoided
@@RJ-xv1nh Again, are you a narcissist? Seems you're using this as a personal guide of sorts. No problem, just seems odd.
@@IYK3 Well I have no idea, don't think so but I guess I'd need an expert to say.
Sam...i posted a comment on your "covert psychopath " video im very interested in your opinion on my question, this comment here is in hopes you will see my other comment and be able to provide your opinion . If the info i provided isnt enough to determine psychopath or not i can fill in the pieces that may be missing . Thank you
In my adult life I've seen this kind of person in office spaces, the flagrant f bomber. Here they stick out.
This also describes the majority of my classmates throughout high School. So it's? A persistent adaptive behavior?
NPD cannot be diagnosed in high-schoolers.
@@samvaknin that makes sense
Someone at work who is absolutely a covert narc tends to use 'we' when they mean 'I'. They will use 'I' though if it suits the purpose of appearing humble etc.
The boss, probable psychopath, similarly uses 'we' but the motivation seems different, more of a power-play, to pre-empt any dissent from among the actual 'we'.
Search the channel for "speech".
In my experience, their definition of 'We' means "you", 'Us' means "me", and 'I' means mine.
I have no psychological education at all, but I'd say that they do that to validate himself/herself in third person.
Something like that, lol. It may be a bit of a narc thing to do, but not necessarily or by default.
I can see some narcs doing this, for sure, for their own purposes.
@surfer-lc3nz yep, because everything is simultaneously internalized and objectified as a "thing" or an "it."
love it! thank you as always Dr. Vaknin
Wes Watson
I like to say Bob Sagget instead of God Damn it.
What I don't get is why it's called 'swearing' which was more of an American way to describe it. In this part of the world it's called 'cursing'. I think the word 'cursing' is more accurate.
Gary Vee?🤔
Interesting thought!
hahahaha
Thank you 🙏
I have a crush on you for some dang reason
He’s definitely cute 😊
And his sense of humor ❤😂
We all do
Sapiosexual
No, we don't . Personally, he scares me a little. 🤷🏼♀️@AstridMartin666
😂😂😂
@samvaknin 😂 effing proffessor..😂❤